What...
the...
Hey ponyfrens! Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Pony Pub, a thread I was eventually gonna get to re-bump and troll with after it hit 1000, but someone got tired of!
This is a casual thread to reference 'legitimate' threads/posts from, without derailing.
Out bartender/chef is a tulpa, and she and OP are just this side of batshit! But her food is amazing, so deal with it.
>from behind the counter, a *DING* bell sound rings, and out/across the counter slides a steaming hot burger.
"Smash burger on a croissant fer table 37," rings out, above the sizzling sounds of the grill.
>>169690That looks delicious! Is it for me, tulpa cow ma'am?
>>169723"Ah kin whip ye up one in about 6 minutes, if'n yer wantin'. Ah thought ye asians prefer dog er cat tho."
>spatula scraping sounds
"Original comes with american cheese, but we got plenty of others te choose from. We also offer it deluxe: wit lettuce, tomato, and carmelized onion. Plenty o' sauces te choose from also. How ye wannit?"
It's so nice to see more tulpa posting. I hope everyone is having a good day.
>>169725One with everything please. No dog no cat haram yes?
>>169733"Nice dubs," she smiles, sliding a hard-paper box across the counter to you.
As you look back up, she stares at you like you're the thickest,...
"The fuck ye think this is? A role-play thread? If'n ye aint 'ere te troll somebody, git the fuck out me arse."
<If'n ye find ye have a throat infection, ye might consider gargling salt water. And if'n ye aint a pussy, gargle ghost pepper sauce.
<Ah quit yer cryin, itll subside in 5-10 minutes, depending on the sensitivity of yer labia
>>>/sp/8287 →>>>/sp/8280 →Thats a lie and ye fookin know it, tho Ah'd be lyin' if'n Ah said was surprised. Ah mean, it ain't like staff ain't been shown te be faggot hypocrites any time they get BTFO in some way. The truth is ye faggots 'ave absolutely no rules when yet get yer feelin's chapped, and just spin it however ye can until anons shut up about it. Jus like yer doin' now. A user was censured for Hi Anon spamming once, and there was an unwritten rule, but yer wont te not mention that cuz it was yer idea and that gets in the way o yer posturin dunnit?
But what can ye expect from a buncha furfags? Gonna cry some more? Gonna delete me posts n threads? Gonna ban and 404 everything Ah try and do? Pathetic excuse fer a shitposter ye are, and the same fer the lot a ye
<Sure do be seemin te be alot of dialogue control goin on. Funny, fer a buncha fags who claim te care about frozen peaches n sheit
<Ah'm really tryin te paint inside the lines, but yer kinda forcing me hand
<Aye, minotaurs have hands. Fook y'all and yer 'no hooves' sheit, Ah 'ave both
Gin and Tonic.
Gotta finish the race instead of wallowing around trying to continually play hopscotch. Unless it's not a race and is instead hopscotch.
After all what's even the difference between a Gin and Tonic and Mint Julep.
>>170166Gin and tonic actually sounds good, I might have one of those myself.
Where is niggel when you need him? His archnemesis turned out to be a fokking furfag like himself lmao.
>>170165I'll make u regret every milisecond of that cringepost
/s
>>>/mlpol/369858 →Yeah, yeah. For a while it seemed like I was the only one who had a problem with this. You left me to die alone back there. (Obvious hypervole. It's alright fren.)
Btw, how can you say the staff is all for free speech when you've never been outside their good graces?
>>>/mlpol/369860 →Nah, fuck this place. I don't even know if my ban's even expired.
>>170689>Nah, fuck this place. I don't even know if my ban's even expired.You too were banned? No wonder everyfag left.
>>170690Yeah, but I don't really wanna start shit. I don't want to appeal my ban or whatever. I just thought Sven should know because I consider him a friend.
If you wanna know what happened. Let's just say I purposefully made staff mad. So in a way, you could say the ban was justified. But it was also a bit of a tantrum that you would expect from a dicksword mod.
Anyways, besides Sven and Glim I don't really care about this trashfire anymore. Have funs this Christmas.
>>170691I understand.
Merry Christmas poner.
>>170691Merry christmas. You may not know me but I'll always consider you a friend
>>170691Merry Christmas fren.
Thought you left to conquer irl stuff, unless I'm thinking of someone else.
Still merry Christmas.
>>170689Anon, you're posting.
Since you're able to post on at least two parts it stands to reason the ban's over and I'd wager to guess the length of it was about a day.Ooooooooh. Sorry my brain isn't running on full.
Anyway Merry Christmas to you all
>>170692>>170693>>170694Merry Christmas indeed. I feel undeserving of the kind words. But I'm grateful to hear them.
Btw Sven, sorry for overreacting. Didn't actually apologized before. You're entitled to your opinion either way.
>>170165<Always cute when faggoys try te run their mouths>>170169<Simmer down lad>>170689<Rustlin' the staff's jimmies is the fastest way te catch a ban 'round 'ere. Lotus in particular treats insults te his pride worse than CP.>>170694<Aye, staff loves te issue 100-year bans an then revoke em later. It'd be far easier (read: more consistent) if'n they embraced the "there are no actual rules" rule<ANYWAY this shite-hole is covered in dust, ah hope ye'll pardon if'n I spruce the place fer a bit
>>170156<Lol, when did ye fags change these post links? Im not sayin ye shouldnt'a, just wondering if'n yer still tryin' to act a paladin is all
>>174308>Simmer downNot one to talk, furtroon.
Kettle atlatl requisite clunk,... kettle atlatl requisite clunk.
Doot. Doot dooty.
>the sound of quarters inserted into the jukebox, and 3 buttonshttps://youtu.be/swQcmvHJqnY?si=BnAZgYdGIBNfVdiO
>>174622<Oh lookit ye narr. Ah fergitted ye'er ere! Glad the ol veins 're still throbbin', but ye might wanna let up a bit, its hard te 'ear ye postin ifn yer chokin on a benis, lad
https://youtu.be/UNhphyF74sA?si=gD2FDD_Maul0gPEe<Ah seen Nigel postin' th other dee. Wunner ow this'll turn oot
>>174713>chokin on a benisNow, that's somethin' you clearly know a lot more about.
>>174818<Says the hit-and-run sage-poster who postures brave but sneaks like a coward. Ahm sayin' take he dick outta yer mouth (stop saging) and we can 'ave a proper gowr, if'n that be watcher fixin fer
>>174897Saging is an imperative duty for any thread you don't specifically want to bump.
>>174898<Aye, ye aint lyin'. But since y ere, where on the doll did I rub ye wrong?>>174308<Ah aint fixin te fight, but Ah aint opposed neither, lad
>>174899You're just as beautiful as in the cartoon depiction in the OP, ma'm. Do you serve airag? Fermented mare milk is good for the soul. One lasagna, no cat no dog haram yes.
>>174909<Are we doin' this agin? If'n Ah recall, yer last time in me joke about asians fancyin' cat n dog went clear o'er yer heed.>she grumbles and walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a few gallons of milk and pours one of em into a large mixing bowl<Ye know this sheit is gonna take me three fookin' days te finish, dunnae?
>She stops for a moment in the preparation of fresh mozzarella, realizing that she never actually made the joke about asians eatig cats and dogs the last time this person had ordered. If she wasnt fuzzy, her embarrassment would be readily apparent.
Reminds me, ma'am, my darling, have you watched the game yesterday?
>>>/mlpol/375717 →The last games had... and unfortunate outcome!
Nigga, this is a horsefucker forum. What can possibly be perceived as brave about posting hier?
>Furry roleplaying in his mid-thirties
Anyways, I'll just wait till you get in trouble again. Shouldn't take too long. Shit on you then.
>>174918>mid-thirtiesNigga please. Besides, the affected proprietor of this 'pub' is the daughter of an MLP minotaur. Show me where cows arent allowed. Especially on /vx/; what, is my little shitposty tulpamancy, furry* RP thread interfering with the other RP thread (singular) on the RP board?
>braveNothing freudian there, lol
>>174915<Aye, we ad the cup on the fookin' 88" in 1080! Starlink is fookin awesome!
(for clarity/transparency, Im dismissive of "mid 30s" because Im unabashedly in my mid ]40s, Furry RPing on a nazi horsefcker board)
Git gud fgt
>>174920>daughter of an MLP minotaur.
Kettle atlatl requisite clunk,... kettle atlatl requisite clunk.
Doot. Doot dooty.
>the sound of quarters inserted into the jukebox, and 3 buttonshttps://youtu.be/X2LTL8KgKv8?si=D3u0-AiaqbDUFYAp<Dun switch th' blade on da cow in shades, oh noDun Masquerade wit' th' cow in shades, oh nooo
>fffffffft... ffffffffft... fffffffft...
>the sounds of something large being dragged across the ground emanates from outside the bar until
BAM
>the door swings open with a kick, crashing against the wall adjacent
>ffffffft... ffffffft... ffffffft... the bartender, hunched over a large bundle of black plastic, drags the mass back toward the kitchen leaving a trail of bright green fluorescent fluid
>approaching the kitchen doors she stops and takes a long drag off her cigarette before looking back and chortling:
<Ah dunnae wot th' fook thisser ere be, bud 'e put up a proper figh' tho'. 'E's all lean muscle, Ah figger Ah'll slice 'em super thin anen Ah'll sear it insum smoked lard!
<Oh, and Ah ran intae one-a me furry friemds!
>>>/ub/7777 →<Anon be like:>fuck, he noticed me sage-bumping other /üb/ threads to force the get faster! What do I do now? I know, I'll post some nonsense thread so no one will notice what I was gonna do!
>>175602I was going to do that anyway.
/ub/ is a failed experiment; it's mostly deae. I was of the /fitlit/ camp back in the day.
/fitlit/ was great. Bring back /fitlit/.
>>175603>I was going to do that anyway<Ah thank ye fer th' admission tha' yer the same faggot who thought 'e could pull some sneaky sheit, an then wants te lie like a twat when caught
>175604
Not everything is about you.
<So ye jus' started sage-bumpin' threads fer the fun of it, but stopped when Ah called ye out, so ye started regular-bumpin', before makin' the thread? Sure, that checks out.
<Mate, Ah ain't sayin' it's about me. Ye'd have te be an idgit te no' realize that it's about ye.
<Cuz Ah can tell yer a disingenuous faggot, Ah'll explain fer th' audience.
<Sage-bumpin is where one er more faggots're tryin' to use post digits te try and "not lose" an argument th' they've already lost. Ye sage-post to a buncha threads, so that ye get the post # ye were after. It ain't a bump to th' top o the overboard, it's a bump o th post count.
Saging is the opposite of bumping, nigger. Bumping is bringing something to the top of the page. The correct term is sage bombing.
<Potato, potahto mate. Ah ain't the one tryin te be a sheister.
Your accent is as fake as it is gay.
>>175621<Oh shoot. Ah was so invested in yer approval
>person who has never left the West coast tries to emulate a southern accent.
<Ah LIVE in Texas, ya zigger
<Also, it ain a southern accemt
>California/Washington/Oregon parasite moves after shitting up his home state and thinks he can fit in with a fake accent
Sad. Many such cases.
>retard, can't into the idea that there are more accents than sothern
<Tell me mate, how is affectin' an amalgamized accent (engliah, scottish, and australian) "tryin' te fit in". Oh wait, it ain't, and yer sheit fer brains
>didn't deny being a West coast refugee
Top lel
<Mate, if we're splittin' hairs about things not denied, yer operatin' from a loss
<Never lived there mate, try again. And while yer at it, try te pretend Ah haven't lived rent free.
Friends please be nice to eachother!
>>175638>the bartender eyes you with a very strange look>it seems to be a mix of disbelief and incredulity, with a slight tinge,... as though here is something about you that they are unable to identify>she slowly walks over and stands across the bar from you tilts her head slightly, and through partially squinted eyes (as though biting back one or more choice phrases) asks:<Ye gon' order somethin' mate?
>>175639Hello yes does this planet have cow milk? If so, a chocolate milk please. I have to travel today so not the fermented type. Do you have marshmallows?
>>175657>she briefly mutters<Planet? The fook,...>before focusing back on you to reply<Naurr, ain't got none'a that, folks 'ave alwys been fiene wit booze. An' dun ye get any smart idears 'bout "cows producin' milk", Ah ain't that kinda cowe.>her face betrays her interior dialogue, something along the lines of wondering where you think you are
>>>/sp/24934 →<Are these fancy kiwis in the room wit' us roight nawr?
<Cuz it'd be a roight shame if'n specific faggots were tryin' te' manufacture consensus
Again
Yay! New artwork commission just got sent!
>>175844What kinds of cigarettes do you like?
>>175870>rolling her eyes at the unprompted attempt to socialize<Ah roll me own lad. As whoy they look beat up like they're from Cowboy Bebop
>the bar's saloon-style CLAP open
>the bartender, flaming-red dred-locks trailing behind her, slid across the (freshly-waxed) floor, right up to the end of the bar
>tipping up her copper-rimmed sunglasses, she examined the register's contents as it popped open with a "clickity-clackity, PING"
>her eyes danced across register compartments as her form slipped it's arms out of her floppy-skin duster before tossing it
/roll
>>177164Well that didn't work
>... gracefully dancing through the air before hooking on a standing coat-rack, bolted to the floor apparently, cuz otherwise unaffected by the bartender's coat, momentum, etc>she maintains her posture from the throw of the heavy garment, her head beginning to bob increasingly and more unmistakably to some unheard beat>again she slides over to the jukebox this time, and with a practiced finesse deposits one and then clickity-clackitys.https://youtu.be/MTijPpYLS6g?si=TvhpCO8l3FAFOMXHShe grooves along with the astonishingly synchronized music that begins playing on the PA
>the bartender wanders in, wearingnher customary sunglasses and duster-coat
>there's only one person in the bar, a snivelly looking fellow in an outfit thay reeks of government something
>she wanders around, inspecting the area, seemingly disinterested in his presence
>he is eating a plate of food, which is odd, because the bar isn't open yet
<Aye so ye're sill 'ere aint ye.
She says, finally turning in the man's direction.
"I told you before. I will remain until you have the means to be rid of me, miss..."
>As he finishes, or attempts to finish this sentence, she draws her revolver hand-canon and promptly splatters his brains all over the counter
<That ye did mate
>>177608<Ah dinnae think 'ere were anyfolk else 'ere>she says off handedly, walking over to the corpse<That fella there is somethin of a parasite, don't ye start feelin' no ways about 'im>As she speaks, she looks over the body with clear disdain, pushing a lifeless hand off the bar with her finger<Human flesh ain't all that exciting tbh, about on par with chicken<So, ye fancy a drink?
>Not waiting on any response, she very casually walks to the jukebox>the characteristic clatter of quarters, with a beep or two>an eerily somber sound slowly emergeshttps://youtu.be/RcT5mrGnYrg?si=YdaJfrhTDEBZsssc
>>177612>as the song echoes through the bar, she stands motionless and expressionless, staring at the dead person>eventually, during the refrain, she pulls out a cigarette, before lighting it with a match
>>177617>the smoke from her cigarette slowly permeates the room, illuminated by lights streaming in from angles due to the window, giving the whole scene almost an effervescent glow>she remains motionless, except for her left hand occasionally removing the cogarette from her mouth between drags>her eyes never stray from the remains she stays fixated on>one might intuit there to be bad blood betwen her and the cadaver>she spits on his corpse<Alrigh", time te oopen up shop
Initiative
[1d20+9 = (4+9) = 13]
"Hmmm? It looks like another no-show. It cannot be helped: their kind are just so easy to break afterall."
<Oh. Lass. AH think yer in th wrong place
>>178240 →Lol. You go threatening to kill people OOC, and you won't PVP OOC. All bark, no bite.
>>178243<Mate, if'n ye ain't te order, kindly do go fuck yerself
>>178243>threatening to kill<Wut? Nonsense! Citations!
>>178244 →>realizesYou already failed the roll for that. If you want to fantasize your empty threats OOC, do it in a separate thread.
>>178248 →I don't care about your threats. I'm not afraid of you, and neither is my character.
You were targeted with a charm. The charm failed due to GM abjudication, then you failed your check to notice you were targeted. That's the end of the story.
>Is it still a good idea?I'd do it again. I'm not sorry anymore. If you don't like it, attack me. I dare you to. It you successfully kill me (which you won't), I'll just make another character.
>>178249No, it’s not “GM adjudication.” Player Characters don’t have stat block attitudes of “friendly/unfriendly.” They are not NPCs or monsters.
>but beholders have charm person!No shit. It’s for cohorts, monsters, or whatever. Show me where in the rules that players must obey diplomacy rolls or charm person when affected by it.
>>178252That's a fair ruling.
>>178247Imagine your character had been coopted, especially in advance of anything hostile
You wouldnt stand for it
Yiu in particular would probably br incensed. But Im supposed to be okay with it? No! You're already trying to take liberties with the game, and fuck off AND ALL with that.
>>17825 →>>178251Oh, go on, talk about spamming nigger
<Dunnae let th door hit yer on the way, as they say
>>178248 →I think it was a great idea. I'd do it again.
Too bad Rosey Ring can't try again for another 24 hours (and PC charm immunity that I was previously unaware of).
Don't like it? Respond in character.
<Some cunts, all full of themselves
>>178258Big talk coming from the guy who made 50+ posts threatening PVP and then backed out
>>178259<Aye, 'e thought ye qere able te act in good faith. Proper lesson, that
>>178260>bad faith>WHAT?! I HAVE YO MAKE A SAVING THROW?! I'M GONNA THREATEN TPK>DON'T BUY MY EMPTY THREATS? I'M GONNA MAKE 50+ SPAM ROLLS
>>178261<Ere ye go lass, let the taint from yer bodeh. Oooh fook this one stinks witit.<Ahfink eres sepsis, but shes stable naur
>>178261I was just looking to see how many rounds before the charm was broken. My bad, I didn't realize A. You were impotent (I gave u undue credit) and B. It was a day thing.
Thats okay.
>>178263So you made 20 spam rolls instead of just asking how the spell worked? How mature.
Sense Motive doesn't have retries.
>>178268Youre criticising me for maturity? Or spam? Or,...
>>178285 →No saves, huh?
Funny, just an hour ago you were threatening to do exactly this.
>>178287Checkmate in 2 or less
>>178296What checkmate?
You got targeted with an effect, and now you're chickening out because you don't want your character to die, even though you threatened to kill the whole party just earlier.
>>178252Oh, I didn't notice you slip in during all the commotion. I'd have addressed this during if I had.
>>178299>>178287>>178268>>178261>>178259>>178257>>178253>>178251>>178249>>178247>>178243>>178239I really hope you got that out of your system, cuz it's the last time it will be tolerated.
Out of respect for those who have been respectable, I will take the time to explain in detail why yesterday happened the way it did, and why it had to happen that way to avoid PF knocking over a domino leading to an inevitable conflagration that yes - Brie would be at the center of, and is caused by one of the most classic red flags - "It's what my character would do".
The assertion is that Posey does her stupid gaze, lol everyone likes the bat for another 24 hours cuz hes nicer. 24 hours later he wonders why he thought so highly of this insufferable "unicorn that totally isn't undead but thats okay", before he figures it out. He then begins a double-cross plan (cuz fucking with his mind in ANY way is a betrayal, idgaf who you are) that results in a tpk.
Now, I can see that Brie is a walking red flag. As a player, my other characters would give him a wide berth, at LEAST until we've done something to establish a non-adversarial rapport. I would avoid poking the obviously intentional and unstable bat, or in this case, introducing myself with something that could be considered adversarial.
Silly me.
As to the spamming, yes that's my bad. I've been playing 5e exclusively lately, and I was more interested in rerolling my saving throw to determine how many rounds before the spell broke. I get the editions mixed up all the time, it's hard to keep them together when you've got three decades of rp, in most all editions, to sort through in your head on the fly. I'll do better on that front and offer my sincere apologies to everyone in thread who was offended and has never spammed before.
In conclusion:
As a PLAYER I will be happy to ENTERTAIN HAHA SCENARIOS that involve temporary mind altering spells IN ADVANCE so we can AVOID misunderstandings and potential tpks.
I will also remind that how one person assumes their actions will be interpreted does not represent the envelope of possible interpretations and responses, and responses that the person doesn't recognize as valid doesn't invalidate the other person's reception.
I was talking to Stix about it last night. Up at the mill in WA there's this dude named Rusty. Rusty is kind of a basic bitch, been around 5 years and semi-tight with the company royals, and he decides he's gonna fuck with the quiet new guy. So he walks up and pinches - not hard, just a firm pinch - the guy's nipple.
Well.
As the new guy, I tore his asshole up and down the piling chain all the way up to the foreman's office, precisely explaining I didn't care what he and his fuckwits think is acceptable/appropriate, that if he ever fucked around like that again I would have his job and THEN I'd smear him across the parking lot.
The foreman thanked me for how I handled the situation.
Just how I roll.
Oh, and one last thing.
GM calls the shots. Didn't think I had to specifically say that, you've been playing for what, 4 years now? 5? You should know better.
<If'n ye faggits 're done bein' twats, Ah got a bussnuss te run. So sit'er dayn amd shoot th fook up, er GIT TH FOOK OUWRT!>Irritated exhalation of breathe>she walks over to the jukeboxhttps://youtu.be/0NSE3iejzTI?si=EKqixriQtvDOA0oi
>>178358>cuz it's the last time it will be toleratedWhat are you going to do about it?
>>178358>He then begins a double-cross plan (cuz fucking with his mind in ANY way is a betrayal, idgaf who you are) that results in a tpk.Do it. Watch yourself get paralyzed and killed at the first opportunity.
>>178359>GM calls the shots.Why do you think people would indulge your TPK fantasies, but not you and only you being killed then and there? You make no sense.
>>178358>so we can AVOID misunderstandings and potential tpksThere you go with the empty threats again. You could not kill me even if you tried, and even if you did I wouldn't be bothered.
Why do you think you can attack the party when you wouldn't even roll saves vs a hostile spell without explicit orders to? Did you get permission to TPK? No. If I need permission to kill you, you need permission to kill us.
>As to the spamming, yes that's my bad. I've been playing 5e exclusively lately, and I was more interested in rerolling my saving throw to determine how many rounds before the spell broke.5e Charm Person doesn't give you a new save every round to break the spell. You roll once, and if you fail you are changed for the duration.
>I get the editions mixed up all the timeYou should have read spell descriptions before you starting spamming like an idiot. Unlike 5e, 3.5e charm person doesn't say that the creature knows it was charmed after the spell ends.
>Brie is a walking red flag. As a player, my other characters would give him a wide berth, at LEAST until we've done something to establish a non-adversarial rapport. I would avoid poking the obviously intentional and unstable batAh, the old "it's what my character would do" fallacy. Funny how it only applies when you're threatening to kill the party, and not when someone else kills you.
>>178366Aren't you tired?
Youve been doing mental gymnastics all morning. Theres plenty of ways to kill a party without directly attacking anyone. You think I'd just go "Rah, stab!"? Please. If I have to, you wont see it coming, and it won't come down to a saving throw.
>its what my character would do
That is why you tried to pull the stupid trick right? Its what your character would do?
Thats my point. Lets not play "what my character would do", and if you dont instigate, I wont have to respond, K?
>>178369>all morningIt made a few posts over the course of ~30 minutes. It's Saturday morning and I have the whole day ahead of me to shitpost, until my other game session starts.
>Theres plenty of ways to kill a party without directly attacking anyone.Do it. I dare you to.
>If I have to, you wont see it coming, and it won't come down to a saving throw.Or I could just kill you now and never have to deal with that possibility.
>>178370>Do it. I dare you toThe fuck is your problem dude?
>>178371I have no problem. I'm not afraid of your threats. You think I care about the possibility of an imaginary sorceress dying in a make-believe place?
That was for the "I have no prpblems" (which if you know anything about linguistics you know,...)
Beyond that, no I dont think you are. Its quite clear youll sacrifice her and every other player for SOME reason that youre simply gonna have to work out on your own
It’s 9 in the damn morning. Why are you even awake, nevermind arguing over that stupid charm person spell you two spent way too much time on yesterday?
>>178374>Its quite clear youll sacrifice her and every other playerThat's YOUR decision.
>>178375Wym why awake? I get up at 4 every morning. Besides, this was never about the charm spell
>>178377Either, youre not allpwed to instigate with me, or I get to instigate with as much reckless abandon as you.
Im sure GM would love yo deal with it
.
Or, get off your high horse and stop trying to instigate
>>178379>Either, youre not allpwed to instigate with me, or I get to instigate with as much reckless abandon as you.Okay, does that mean I get to Ghoul-Touch you now? I'll take that gamble.
>>178380Ask the fucking GM, and get off my dick
>>178381Why would the GM indulge your TPK plan, but not my snapping-a-bats-neck plan?
Of course, it's all up to the GM; I know that well. That's why I know your TPK threat is toothless.
If you can kill us, I can kill you.
>>178382And if you attack me - even "minimally" - I can kill you.
So dont start none, wont be none. Why is this so difficult for you to understand.
If another player has to roll a saving throw, youre in the wrong
>>178383>And if you attack me - even "minimally" - I can kill you.Okay, I'll accept your challenge. Let's do it. Roll the saving throws for that Ghoul Touch.
What a beautiful display of animus. I hope Im not the only one seeing this.
No. I dont want to play your game, Im here to play GM's game. Goodbye, youve been notified and our business is ended. Faff about if you must.
>>178383>So dont start none, wont be none.Faggot, the only one who is "starting none" is (You) with your empty TPK threats.
It has already been established that charms don't work on PCs: Rosey Ring could not even charm Brie even if I wanted her to. If you're going to keep threatening to kill us, I will kill you right now.
>>178385>I dont want to play your game, Im here to play GM's game.What part of that involved killing the party?
>>178383>If another player has to roll a saving throw, youre in the wrongIf the entire party is being killed by your character, you are in the wrong.
The only thing gayer than killing your party is threatening to do it OOC.
<Mate! Ye knaur thisi karma fer the sheit ye leyt TF git awhee wit back in MN, savvy? Thisa yer oown damn fault! Ahahahahahah!
>Difficult to determine who the bartender is laughing at
>perhaps an ethereal being or someone with a sending stone
>she clearly finds something hilarious
*sighs* In that this remains a teachable moment, the most constructive method to engage in shenanigens of that sort would be for one player to forst reach out to GM and say what they more or less want to do and get their opinion/position first.
Afterward, the action can then occur with GM's knowledge, blessing, and input as needed.
In this manner, the recipient player can experience the desired surprise and lack of foreknowledge, but can then reach out to GM to better understand what is permissible and in what spirit the exchange is occurring.
It is quite easy for two individials to equally jump the gun.
[
>>178393>the action can then occur with GM's knowledge, blessing, and input as neededI wasn't aware of any TPK plans being approved.
>>178394If you had asked GM he would have told you no and/or only if I permit the charm, and would likely have been on hand so that your insufferability didn't ruin anyone's fun, which is what your intent seems to be. Now for fucks sake, drop it
<Mate>she chuckles<Mate,...>with a beaming smile she settles down, and takes a deep breath<Mate, thisa whee ye dunnawan te meik a compein leik Meeksd Noots, EEESPEESHLEE wit naur gamairs<All thees 'bout whu as whu, lemme say eet te yer face, mate.<Ye ain't tha guy, yer evan warser! Yer tha' ex-gm.<Fookin' lagendary sheit>she wanders back over to the jukebox, inserting coin<Teik a bour matehttps://youtu.be/ROB89cDMqcI?si=-L6GFSkjyUNDKml6
>>178395>GM he would have told you no and/or only if I permit the charmHe told us that anyway. Your TPK threats were unnecessary.
>your insufferability didn't ruin anyone's fun, which is what your intent seems to be.It was (You) who threatened to kill the rest of the party and made a fool of yourself by making dozens of obnoxious spam-rolls.
>>178400I have already spoken to the spam,the cause for want to tpk (reactionary) and everything else.
When will you own your shit?
>>178406>When will you own your shit?I don't know what that's even supposed to mean. I own everything I've done, everything I'm doing, and everything I ever will do.
>>178407Then whats your deal?
<Ah thoat Ah tol' ye te stfu er gtfo.
<Mods, can ye lock thissrr thread?
<Ah spose it be fate that me firs' ooficial customer be thissin hissin.
<Alright fella, lemme 'splain the point o' this 'ere restaurant n grill
<This 'building' sits in,... (dispensing with the accent)
... a pocket dimension between the abyss and abator. There are many routes around through alternate planes, but the frontline of the blood war no longer exists. In it's place has erected a slightly shimmering wall resembling black crushed velvet. Pushing past reveals a darkened plane leading directly (in a slightly reality-warping sense) to a rickety building with occasionally blinking lights.
<Welcome te Adelin's Border Cafe, mate.
<So if'n ye ere it means yer either an infernal.tryin te cross over, or yer an abysmal doin likewise
>returning to the bar, the bartender has a bit of a spring in her step. Not only was the election everything it could be hoped to have been, but there's also a new neighbor!
<Ahm sure 'e'll settle in fine enough, but 'e shouldn't bein surprised that Kuhthöníc is known. Wonderin ifn 'es hearda Thez tho
<Alrigh', tieme te set thur playlist>beeping noises, as the bartender fiddles with some of the executive functions of the jukebox<Thisser oughtta hol' fer a wheelhttps://youtu.be/lEvL-RMxRhY?si=cV3Ef6UPMoVITUc2https://youtu.be/D4JPSqF6vfs?si=jUR9asCndbGTwGsJhttps://youtu.be/WgPR-WQMxDU?si=rBe8QC-mDAWNFh8M
>The bartender puts up one of those fancy moving posters and stares at it with a slightly lewd smile before letting out a wistful sigh
Blame Luziferino, hes the one that sended the shit
>>179595Ahem. DOGGY! That is all.
>>180129>pic related is the cat named Nigger<At LEAST leave afookin tip, ye wanker!
*ehem*
NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>179595luzi is a schizophrenic retard, just like the staff of this fucking shithole. not even a post per hour on the entire fucking site. pathetic
>>180190Yes, but Luz is one of the cooler schizophrenic retards. I rather like the art he posts and his outlandish experiments with circuit design are mildly intriguing.
By the by, you're more than welcome to start a new thread. I mostly lurk but will write if you genuinely want users to engage.
>>180190How many layers of seethe are you on my dude? If you had the faintest grasp of the technology he's experimenting on/with you'd realize he isn't schizo,
you're just intellectually retarded by comparison and can't follow him, but thats dunning kreuger 101 to no one's surprise. Classic!
<An since ye clearly 'aven't good sense, Ah reckon ye're prolly crossin' from left te right (abyss to hell), so yer fittin'fer that firey lookin' door over by th' bathrooms.
>>180194he grinds up quartz and snorts it, but okay retard
>>180191no id rather let this cesspool rot in piss
>>180197Then why are you here?
>>180198i check in every few months to make sure this place is still dead
>>180200i hate this place
>>180201Kill yourself lol
>>180201You hate this place so much that you spend your time here just to hate on it more?
Sounds like a personal problem.
>>180194It's probably just the boomer still salty about getting banned.
>>180204no i checked in last in like july, and ill probably fuck off for another 6 months. anyways, fuck you and this shitty deadchan, goodbye
>>180206Yep, this is the boomer.
>>180196>>180197>>180199>>180201>>180203>>180206Nothing says "Im over it" like sperg-posting in a furry RP thread on an obscure website.
>>180203Kill yourself lol
>>180216<Ay mate, ye can fook off back te th' nine with that sheit also. Feinde anoother thread ifn'ye wantin'te be a cliche' coont
>>180208>>180205I think it's Sprucefrost and not the Boomer (boomer could capitalize words). Potentially it's Faux.
>>180217He should killhimself lol
>>180219<Mayhaps, but watcher mouth in the pub. If'n yer gonna be that wee, try ta' meke it clevar
>The bartender wanders over toward one of the TV displays>phone in hand, with corded earbuds in both of her floopy ears, her attention focuses upward toward the screen, currently displaying old 4cc matches>looking back down, she grabs the phone with both hands and starts tappy tapping>her brow furrows, as she really hates touch screen keyboards, and keeps making mistakes>her face brightens, and she pulls her earbuds out as the screen shifts, a small indicator window indicating a temporary device pairinghttps://youtu.be/fWTcQRgSzEM?si=PJT8X8lDdPfQWuOj<Tissues'r in the bathroom lads
>a few random thumps from the loft overhead is the only indication of activity in the otherwise quiet bar (notwithstanding any who may have passed out in their booths)>the TV, again playing 4cc reruns on low volume, suddenly goes blank again>apparently the bartender's phone is still paired>there's actually several TVs throughout the building (I'm about to add a 3rd monitor irl ^_^), and wherever she is (upstairs, obviously) shes about to put something onhttps://youtu.be/qntBBbvgBxM?si=Pqqqa20t9Wg2t306>As the melpdy slowly drifts throught the bar, she slowly makes her way downstairs with a cup of coffee in hoof, lip-synching to the song>It's all very cheesy and campy until the reprise>wtf? Where'd the top hat,... and the cane?>wtf, a marching band?>fucking fireworks???>the dance routine?!?
>with absolutely zero explanation, Lenos' voice echoes from back in the office
>"Why are you coming at me with scissors?"
>an anon, this one purple-faced (as opposed to the common orange and green, or occasional red),....
>teal
>.. sidles up to the bar
>the Bartender makes no motion or gesture
>anon grabs the remote for the TV and starts flipping through videos
>tamping out her cigarette in a nearby ashtray, she addresses anon finally
<Las' call mate, ye orderin'?
"Screwdriver, easy on the Oj"
>The bartender raises an eyebrow
<One vodka on ice with an orange squeeze, comin up
>the bartender wanders downstairs >the previous night's attendant (it was her) did NOT clean up>she grabs a garbage bag and starts picking up beer cans>an empty cardboard box on the ground erupts with orange kitten arms,... playful bastard>she stops for a moment, lighting a cigarette with a very dim-flamed lighter>she shakes it, and it sounds nearly spent>with a sigh, she pulls out her cellphone>boopity boop, the nearby big screen jumps to lifehttps://youtu.be/aENX1Sf3fgQ?si=_Ku00LXbWVSqCf8o
<Alrigh'ye faggits! Las' fookin call! If'n ye ain't cookin', git the FOOK out!
<Merry Chistmas n shi tho
>nobody moves
<Ah fook it,....
>the bartender waves a hand, knowing ponies gonna
>srsly
Cuz you know you're all my very best Friends
Merry Christmas Eve and to all a Happy Hearths Warming Eve as well!
>smells of vinegar, wine, and smoked garlic permeate the bar>the air is stale and filters in through the windows in sunbeams, even though its almost noon>CLUMP CLUMP CLUMP, the bartender wanders down from the loft, cigarette in mouth and her phone in hand.<Lots a cookin n prep ta be done tadey>... she says to whoever is watching<Bes' git startedhttps://youtu.be/L0o0Z8maw4U?si=aT_ZGsxMwAvGfv1q
Lit bit late, but...Merry Christmas every poner! Or should I say, happy hanukkah?
Hope everyone's having a good time tonight. If that's not the case, cheer up, fagget. There's always something to be grateful for. Plus there's 364 other days to be an emo bitch, plenty of time.
This thread? Srsly? Im noy complaining, but bruh
<Ye act like ye can do anythin
>>185969You, have a cute fox
>>185917>>185921>>185967Merry Christmas and Happy Heart's Warming
>>185971>>185969Merry Christmas and Happy Heart's Warming to you too. Forgot to add link to your post.
>>185971>>185972<Alrighh' ye especially get a boop<the fook?
>the bartender marvels for a moment, wondering how we got here
>at the samr time, like,... pretty much all the people she really likes are here or in the surrounding environment.
God dammit I love u faggots
No homo
Mare-y christmas Ms. Cow and host!!
The bartender wanders in from the back, softly singing "World on Fire", dropping the spent cigarette in her right hand, a long tube of rolled up paper held gently in her left so as not to crinkle it. She wanders over to a bare section of wall, unrolls the paper with a bit of a fluorish, like laying down new sheets,... and then realized the stapler is under the bar. She sighs, gingerly re-rolling it as she walks over to the bar to grab the shiny silver staple gun. Back over to the wall, and with a few clicks, a new poster adorns the wall.
<Ye couldnta,... ye had'te dinyu
>Yep
<Alrigh', seeitappens'
>The gentle sound of mild rainfall fills the empty bar in the morning. The bartender - her dredlocked mane haphazard, mismanaged, and in a bit of a weird shape - wanders in a bit bleary-eyed. Fucking with her phone for a moment, the on-screen changes and starts to blast hyp musichttps://youtu.be/it-ywA9amZ8?si=mxmhVdLlzdkyqFlV
<Ah got some peak '16 fer ye tadey. Shame Ah couldnta finded a proper PMVhttps://youtu.be/UMzmKojqi_U?si=qY1bTxXb-fVlaDgo
Fuckit, its "not problematic if its my thread" right?
Alright, lets get into it.
Its a big knot.
Yes, gm could nudge us in the right direction,... but thats gay. If you cant be arsed to figure it out, maybe die. If all you tangental poli-sci faggots cant...
At the same time GM, [i]we dont know the scope, and speaking personally, I am in serious doubt my character is going to pull through, and thats A. the only thing I want anymore and B. Why hes facefirst with pounds of explosives.
Theres also something to be said for the fact that "In character" it SHOULD be nearing 10pm, and levels of character exhaustion might become applicable.
None of this is to criticize you. Youre doing amazing, and we (I assume to say) are as captivated BECAUSE. We're not knowingly making it hard, we're just stupid. Take all the time you need, and if I or (again presumptively) anyone else can make things easier for you/anyone, you have but to ask.
With love, Lacey's faggpt
>the bartender looks at the observer
<Eemajjin sharin headspace weeth thissur cunt
An ode to an old friend
<Feck off, its me own thread
Fun fact. Part of the reason I got into cooking was cuz one faggot was going on about potato recipes, so I got into a thing where EVERY DAY I would post a new potato recipe. After a while I started reading the recipes, and before long I was like "wait, I can do this,...." and before long, Potatoes Romanoff is now one of a handful of recipes I dont even need instructions for.
Part of my problem with the divide between myself and Posey is, he's been there for me in alot of ways and it really nothers me that we're at odds. I know, as I am freely observed to, I get a kick out of conflict. But that doesnt mean I'm happy. This os (hyperbolically?) killing me. Im not saying anyone is 'doing it', but I am saying that I havent been able to digest my food properly for months, easily and readily correlatable.
To anon: I genuinely didnt realize what I was doing, I'm sorry that I did it. Tell me which vein to cut and I will splatter 'myself' across the floor.
<Chorizo?
This bitch,....
Malice
Disregard/Obliviousness
Incompetence
These are the 3 causes by which one person does harm to another. Never eliminate any as a possibility, but never neglect 2 in favor of the one you know best, when you are assessing a situation.
And for anyone paying "extra-curricular" attention, I'll be relegating my shitposts and otherwise nonsense here, to avoid any post-deletion confusion
Edit: the exception is if I forget to either image or sagepost; in those cases I will delete as soon as I register the error
<Say it
And cus its kinda what this thread was created for. Oh come on, you remember how Nigel was that one time
>>187243Just saying, this thread was born of a desire to troll Nigel without derailing threads, by cross-linking replies.
>>>/ub/8246 →<A fermentrd egg yolk is all ye need te be betin thus fooker's recipeHe made me mad, I wanna destroy him (with flavor)
I'm choking on the egg yolk!
ACK---
>I fail to see how that's my problem
<MATE
A cute unicorn pone steps into the bar. Is it dimly lit? She walks up to the cashier desk or whatever looks like the most welcoming for customers to order. If there is a bell and nopony is around, she pings it.
"Hellooooo," she calls out and looks around. "I heard I could order food here."
Her body is covered in a sick pitch black cloak with yellow, zigzagging lines taking the shape of a branch of thunder. She removes her swell hoodie and reveals a spiky pure white mane, as if RD's and Vinyl Scratch's mane style had a child together. Her extra furry fur is in zinc and her eyes are blood red. She's moe levels of cute. ^^
>>187640>The bartender awakes with a start<Fookin-ell, the fool tiem asat?>bleary-eyed she wipes her face and lights a cigarette, staring at the new arrival<The fook didye find yerself here lass? Aye theres food, but ye aint seemin the type te be headin' fer the hells or the pits,...
>checking the time, the bartender says
<Ah, tha's why. We're usually no open fer 'nother hour er so, but c'mon in, gimme a moment te open up an get the oven burners on.
>she walks around turning on the surrounding wall sconces and overhead lighting, disappearing through the double doors in the back, before reemerging moments later.
>The whole place looks like a dingy American corporate restaurant, without all the obnoxious kitsch and sigmage covering the walls.
>>187642>>187643^^
"Ah," the zinc mare says as he eyes light up. "Well, my half-brother, Silver Star Apple you might have heard of him, recommended this place for it's 'beef jerky'. Not sure what that is but he said I'd love it, so I trust him."
She close her eyes and they form two upwards pointing bows.
She reaches out a hoof towards the bartender.
"I'm Fair Star by the way."
>>187642>ye aint seemin the type te be headin' fer the hells or the pits,..."Well," Fair says and scratches the back of her neck. "Uhh... I mean, I try to be nice to other ponies and I'd like to meet my mom in Paradise so I'll try to avoid things that would land me with ticket to Tartarus. Hehe."
Fair looks a bit unsure.
Is your Minotaur bigger than the regular mare? Then she's bigger than Fair. If so, Fair is a bit intimidate by the cowtaur.
>>187645>The bartender raises an eyebrow <Ah heard of the Apple family, but Ah'm drawing a blank ona Silver Star. A pleasure te meet ye miss Fair. Me name is Addy, welcome to the Loser's Club. Let me knaur whatcher fancy is, be it food er drink.I can cool it with the accent, if youre trying to translate :3
>>187646Shes proportionately comparable to arizona
>>187646>she looks up toward the upstairs loft anf shouts<Someone is gonna have to figure out something more refined, there can't just be two doors!>she turns back to Fair Apple<Sorry about that, ongoing argument with the building designer. Anyway, its funny you mention a ticket to Tartarus, cuz its through THAT door there, take a left when you get to the 9 hells. Through THAT door is the infinitely levelelled pit of the Abyss. And the only way I know of in and out of here is with this.>she pulls out a small pistol-looking devicewith a green flask sticking out of the top<So while your business is your business, you don't owe me any explanations,... I am a bit curious how you found yourself here. Still, you're here now. Pretty much anything you can think of is on the menu
>>187647>I can cool it with the accent, if youre trying to translate :3That's perfectly fine. It's fun. I don't always have to understand. It's fun to discover new weird ways to express English.
>>187649"Ah, that's fine. I'm not from the Apple family though, that's just on his side. I'm of a one-hundred percent pure unicorn breed," she says and dance a bit on the spot.
Her tail lifts up the cape of her cloak and reveal it's shape. It's like a rope near it's root before it turn into a cotton candy ball of hair, leading into spikes. Her front hooves split just slightly into cloven ones and you can see the almost golden nails on them. Tuffs of fur are just above her hooves.
Then she realize where she is and quickly adds, "Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a dir-mud-earth pony." She clears her throat and grins sheepishly. ^^
"Uhh, anyway. Is beef jerky on the menu?"
>>187650>weird way for englishUh, its not a legit way of speaking, its a jumbled mass of accent sterotypes. Its structured so you kinda have to sound it out in your head. Like the Pikey from the mlvie Snatch, if youve seen it.
<We certainly do,... how fresh do ye like yer meat?
>>187649>Learns she can get to hell through nearby doors. Fair scrunches.
"Okay, soooo... If I need to go to the little fillies' room, which door do I open so I don't wind up in hell?" Fair asked nervously. ^^
>>187653<Oh, restrooms are to the right of the Kitchen doors>she points behind her absently
>>187652She looks mildly amused and tilts her head.
"Oh, you really serve that. Isn't that like cannibalism? Do your serve carnivorous here as well," Fair says and looks over her shoulder looking for her in search for a predator.
>>187655>there's a slight twinkle to her eye<Well that's an awfully personal question when first meeting a cow,... but yes, cow is delicious; Id be a fool not to, and Beef is sometjing of a specialty here. Not sure why someone recommended the jerkey though, the Korean BBQ ribs are the most popular
<Ordinarily, I'd throw open the doors now, open from 2a-6a
<But I don't think you're ready to meet 'the regulars' yet, so I'l hold off for a minute. Suffice it to.say, our only refular vegetairans (and ugh, vegans) come from the abyss
>>187656>>187656>Well that's an awfully personal question when first meeting a cow,... but yes, cow is deliciousFair takes a step back in shock.
"What?!" she shouts out, looks around hoping she didn't disturbed any of the other guests, and then continue in lower tone. "Bu-bu-bup. Noway." She regains her confidence. "Your just pulling my hoof. "
She lays her fore-hooves onto the desk between them and leans in. Her eyes are half-lidded and her tongue glazes up her upper lip.
"You know?" she whispers. "I thought the
beef jerky was an innuendo or pun for some--" She nods towards Addy."--
beef --"She make a masturbatory gesture in the air."--
Jerky."
"Is this place not a brothel?"
*Sigh.* I don't know who this character is clearly. Is she a racist or is she a race-mixer. Is she innocent or a pervert. Well, this post will answer that question tho. ^^ Sry. I can't stop myself...
>>187658>pulling my hoof<I wouldnt dream of it. Beef is my favorite type of meat to eat>Brothel<Heavens no! Not yet anyway, we're still working on the licencing and logistics for that, plus the zoning requirements for... anyway when the time comes the correct term will be "Strip club", but theres still alot of details to iron out
>>187660^^
She still looks sultry but a playfulness tinge her features.
"Sooo. Who is the better chef, you or Iron Will?" she asks.
>>187661<Iron Will is a chef? I thought he was a bullshit motovational speaker? Or wasnt there something about a cruise line? Anyway, I'm not technically a chef; a chef has a team.of other chefs, and is more of a captain. I do it all myself without assistance.>^_~<Regardless, I am. Only one cook who can beat me....
>A pounding sound can be heard from both of the front doors, with the doors rattling slightly from someone pulling repeatedly. Addy's expression sours, she rolls her eyes, pulls out a long and slender knife (a sushi knife, to be specific) and storms to both doors. Throwing the locks and kicking both doors jn, she waver the blade angrily
<If you motherfuckers think you're going to bully me about my own operating hours, you can think twice. You're gonna wait patiently and you're gonna like, or I swear to Starlight Glimmer's sweet ass, I'll send your sould back home, and by the time you regenerate, we'll be serving your corpse as a special! Now keep it down, I have a special customer who knows how to behave!
>She slams the doors shut, relocks them, and returns to Fair Apple.
<Sorry about that,...
<Addy and Fair Apple will have had ample opportunity to finish their conversation, as well as for her to order something - it doesn't have to be beef, theres plenty of vegetable options.
<I hate vegans
>Eventually though,she will have the opportunity to something she hasn't been able to yet.
Describe to a witness what daily service is like in her establishment.
>Opon being reunlocked and opened, through both doors starts streaming one after another of the most foul and infernal creatures you wouldn't,... well,... you WOULD expect streaming in from both the Abyss and the 9 Hells
>There being limited occupancy, the line continues out the door
Assuming Ms. Apple doesn't feel inclined to look in the foyer were she to do so she would see several very large signs laminated to a middle wall. The foyer appears to have been a single room once, but has had a middle divider added, and the whole room appears recently reovated.
<Almost like these mother fuckers can't be trusted to not be playing games and shit. Its not technically fighting in the restaurant!
<Or
Thats a breach of contract!
<Arseholes
The signage is a white background with bold red lettering with a border and swirling designs accenting; it's written in the languages of Common, Abyssal, Diabolical, and Ponish. On either side of the wall is a sign-in book, and the door won't open until the person touching the door has signed.
The signage its self is very intricate, and upon close inspection reveals that the designs and scrollwork, heck even the border is the very microscopic fine print of a very exactingly crafted contract between the proprietor and the customer
>The bartender lowers the lights a bit as customers find their seating, before fading into nearby shadow to appear next to the first table
<Goin' fer anuthur piece a me arse tadey, faggot?
"Excuse me, I'll have you know I underwent conversion therapy; I'm a PROPER catholic!"
<So the brisket then?
>>187661In that the restaurant was opened "after Addy and Fair Apple finished any resulting conversation", we can continue with the dialogue as previous if you like. However, I will try to have "the bar" open from 2a-6a (my time, sorry
>>187655 was 2a my time) and participants will have the option to interact with the other customers, but you will want to read the rules in the foyer
>the rulesYes, Im working on them, thats why Addy isn't unlocking the doors until after their conversation ^_~
>>187666
Of course I forgot to sage the satan post. Oh well
Each day will be it's own independent episode, though description only occurs when theres a witness, so I won't be bumping this thread except in response, and any further details I add later will be saged. Its basically something there if anon wants something to do, in a roleplay context.
The pic I forgot to reupload
>A sign greets you as (you) approach the bar
PRIVATE ENTRANCE-ONLY EVENT
>>187828(This is because the dialogue with Fair Apple remains unresolved)
<Ahh for fucks sake, you know I was just taking the piss by pretending to not know who Silver Star Apple is? Im probably his biggest 'fan'
https://youtu.be/dOHH52iB_VQ?si=to9JvDk0fwASSHsS<Whale, Ahm knaurin whichbine Ah'ma use whane ther time comes
<Not only did ye fook up the hitler trips, but ye posted to the wrong fooking thread!! Me fookin' word yer pathetic!
So, what I tried to say in thr ooc thread, but failed because Im retarded was:
For a multitude of reasons, I am attempting to see how long I can go without posting to the thread, though by proxy this is both proxy to and insular against. Still, 1 time.
To business then. I particularly want to be on hand when Garv is doing his thjng with the guns because Brie has a mix of exposition, theorizing, and cheeky banter in mind. It will be fun, I promise
>tfw you get your laptop back from your brother after 3 months (who needed it for his new 80k/y job, so yes of course, take it), who wiped it clean and is USING FUCKING CHROME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Ah greeate, naur y'all got 'im taskin' ME wit' makin' a "No Homo" sign,... ffs
I put a magnets inna gloves, so I dont have to grip the 'cigarettte" ^_^
Next up is replacement etebrows (theres six magnets in the forehead)
<Fooling sheit, I need a fookin adult! Fillies arent supposed to die >;_;<
>me right nowhttps://youtu.be/p8U6x9ClAss?si=bjXh157c_7HMhTuFSorry, a filly is no longer and I need a minute
Something I never expected to happen throughout all of this Mlpol-ness was a love of fillies, They're amazing and delightful. Most of the time, but not today.
GOD DAMMIT I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS TODAY. You have some LOUSY FUCKING TIMING, YOU KNOW THAT? YOU BETTER WATCH AFTER THIS MOTHERFUCKER! REEEEEEEEEEEE!
>snaps fingers
Thez, find him.
<Dude he's gone
>FUCKING FIND HIM ;_;
<On it
>>188000I don't know what happened and I have no wise words to tell but I'm here with love if nothing else. <3
Btw, the line is "down from evertide"
THIS IS FUCKING WHY. IF U WANNA KNOW, THIS IS FUCKING WHY. ISTFG NONE OF YOU. NO, I WILL BOX GOD ON THIS. NOT THESE ONES.
<yer pardon, Ninjas is... compromised for the day ^_^
This is all in honor of beefilly. Ngl, Im a mess
Nevetmind, its fine. He escaped the game. Yes. The one u just lost. No, not stratego.
>bartender flicks her cellphone a couple times"What?"
https://youtu.be/5EXFilTUiko?si=wb9FwAIxca-BEb3z
>>188020<The fook ye think 'es gon' do the next 2 days while the pork begins to oxidize?<Fookin practice<Ah give 'im all the sheit, but y'all dunnae how precise and practiced this Nigel is<Aye, Ah'm nominating .Nigel' for a safe for work term for Nigger, if you know. Its time he advanced from being a Britbong, he's the everyman mlpol deserved
<While this faggot continues to practice Sorairo Days, allow me to elucidate an idea for you
<Alexander the Great did not respect Diogenes of Sonipe because he begged, scraped, or tried to curry favor
<Alexander the Great respected Diogenes of Sinope because he DIDN'T beg, scrape, or try to curry favor
<Alexander the Great is quoted as saying "Were I not me I would have to be him" of Diogenes of Sinope
<Why? Cuz when Alexander the Great showed up, Diogenes told him to go fuck himself
<So how much a the neighbor-cow-burger are we takin?
Im confused by the question. Why divide from a sum 1 quantity?
>and as we're literally flying off to
<An we fergot the fookin neighborcow burger!
>shitup, the con, we get nasty eballed by state troopers
<Its gonna be liek tthat then innit?
<The fookin sun finally woke its arse up. Must be nice, bein' able te sleep half the night. The fook ever,...>fumbles with phone<Here!>she shouts toward the loft<Since yer wantin' te be such a faggit!https://youtu.be/fwy1-73mgxY?si=ZEI0VxoW_Jmk7vL0
So this AirBnB cost $160/ night; more than I've ever paid (including one time I got a whole ass house with 2 queen bedrooms, a kitchen, patio, fenced yard,...) but it's an upscale apartment with a balcony, roof pool skyline,... perfect for a chain-smoker. The listing describes the place as having ammenities for children, a kitchen, and on-site garage parking (for a not unreasonable rate). The listing DID say that guests are only to use the master bedroom, and that the room (with the implication being INSIDE) allowed no smoking. So we get here and I talk to Leon, the lady's husband who is working the front desk. That was my first clue, but I missed it. I ask him "Yo the room, I won't be smoking inside,I just wanna hang off the balcony so I'm not driving other guests/residents nuts with my late-night antics.
First, he says "Yeah that's fine, you good. Just make sure to prop one of the chairs against the door so the smoke doesnt seep in, cuz the seals on the sliding door aren't any good. But you can smoke weed too if you want, I do."
So we're like "fucking a". And then I REITERATE my plan to cook up some carnitas (which is fucking ruined btw). She said in messages "You can use the kitchen and the pots, pans, just clean up before you leave." I mention this to Leon, who says "If she said it was okay, that's fine."
My beaner and I go back down to get all our shit with a filly fren, at which point I explain "He's just helping us pack all this stuff up, he isn't staying with us (I have a tote full of furry shit, et al).
So we go up and explore the place a bit. This kitchen is fucking PACKED. I've never SEEN an AirBnB so well stocked! They have EVERYTHING.
There's 2 kids beds, theres scooters and a tricycle, and even an electric scooter. I'm blown away, I though I had lucked out.
So we smoke a blunt, and I smoke a few cigarettes (a total of a little over an hour) and we're getting ready to head back to the con. While we're standing in the middle of the living room, Leon just walks right in. I'm like, hold up what? He starts telling me that he can smell the smoke from the hallway, and he has to aire out the room because they live there normally, and all this about "only smoke on the roof patio". I'm like "Okay, sorry, I did exactly what you asked. He gos "Yeah, but its too potent, I'm gonna stay and air the place out. Before you go, can you pick up all this stuff (My fursut, set on nearby furniture, as well as a few bottles of alcohol). Our daughters will be here later.
Hold up,... what? Still didn't click. I'm like "Thats fine, we wont be back until way late. So, we get some stuff for our car, and like an idiot I left my cell phone in the car, still at the place (which is about 4 blocks from the hotel). We realize this halfway to the hotel, but I recall that the phone only had 5% power so I wouldn't be able to use it much without a charging cable, and that assumes there's a wall adaptor (which I don't have with me cuz the room advertized usb ports which there were).
So I go "Nah, I'll just leave it. It will be an excell ent exercise in discipline to go basically the whole night without trying to hyperfixate on my phone every 5 minutes.
So we go off and do a bunch of fun shit, fillies are great, and it was one of the most exciting and genuinely enjoyable experiences I've had since Mixed Nuts. And so at around 1:30 we return to the place.
Now let me picture the scene: The door to the children's bedroom was closed, Leon is sitting on the floor, and his wife is in a robe with a bath towel wrapped around her head, and they're watching TV.
THEY WANTED US TO PAY $160 A NIGHT FOR JUST THE FUCKING MASTER BEDROOM. WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING IN THE NEXT FUCKING ROOM. WITH THEIR KIDS AN ADDITIONAL DOOR DOWN. AND HE WAS "GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR". OH AND GET THIS! I BROUGHT A BOX OF .38 SPECIAL ALONG WITH THE REQUISTE PIECE. I STASHED THE BOX IN ONE OF MY FURSUIT FEET BEFORE I LEFT. THE BOX WAS FUCKING GONE, AND I LOCKED IT IN THE BEDROOM.
But I digress. She reads me and my friend the riot act about not being able to get ahold of me, about not cleaning the kitchen before leaving (she meant before leaving the APARTMENT, not before leaving DALLAS)m about leaving my shit strewn across the living room, about the nicotine residue that the "few cigarettes I smoked causing tobacco resin on the walls", about NOT using the kitchen, and about having unauthorized guests (which apparently means "ANYONE AT ALL, FOR ANY REASON".
Oh, and they have a no refunds policy.
Those niggers planned this. They planned to be able to sleep in their bed after taking my money and kicking us out. AND WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING BULLETS?? The piece is secure, but what the fuck???
FUCK AIRBNB
The bartender sits on a stool, inclined forward and propped on the bar. Dour-faced, she observes a random feed from one of the TVs as the front doors (the hell side) CLAP open with the sudden arrival of an anon who is already in the middle of a ranting tirade against someone over a cell phone
"... because thats all it fucking takes. Trust me. I wrote the contract myself. That's right. Look all you have to do is anytime you get a customer, go get yourself a motel nearby so you can be on hand. Oh, right, your husband works there, even better. So after you get those ratings, we'll flip the script on them and evict every additional tenant for whatever reason. We can make them up if we have to. That's right. Of course you can launder the money through your dispensary business! Yes, the one you openly display and tell your husband to be all friendly about to your tenants. Yeah, don't you worry, you'll still be able to sleep at night, and I will too. God bless!" finally ends the man with his fucking phone conversation. The irritation of having to listen to only one side of a conversation when you don't know/care of/for either party.
"Terribly sorry Ma'am,... miss," he says looking up confused, as though he expected to see something other than a cow on the other side of the equation. The bartender's right hand drifts toward her lower back
<Mate, ye done me a solid, naer need te apologize
And she draws the BIGGEST FUCKING HANDCANNON YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
No, seriously, this was a thing. It was designed to be a single-use (like a flare gun) pistol that fired a 30mm (yes, the one from the vulcan) bullet. That's the one that almost tore her goddamn arm off. It's okay, she also regenerates. In slow motion, she pulls, swivels, and levels this monstrosity.
KAPLOW
Having shot the previous prototype, she had the good sense to not try and actually HOLD the weapon (its more of a pinch between the lower-thumb palm and the forefinger) this version did cut off her forefinger as it spun out of her hand. Regardless, the motherfucking Saul Goodman-ass lawyer who trained/prepped this griefing-ass nigger-bitch just got a faceful of not enough, and someday he's gonna be in my house.
No no, let me explain better, now that I've had an actual night's sleep. The descriptions are just vague ENOUGH and accurate ENOUGH. The pictures are just depictive ENOUGH. I'm sure if I tried to drag it out with airBnB I would end up with more shit in my mouth, as plenty of malevolent and/or skilled and dutiful lawyers have guided these niggers in this process. I have zero confidence that my upset emotions and "clever wit" will be sufficient to get any amount of reimbursement from any party, and that's assuming I have yet located the phone from which to pursue such actions!
Any idea how weird it is for an insomniac to wake up, have to feed his cats, go back to sleep, and have to feed his cats again 12 hours later? And then go back to sleep? Fucking nuts.
Not gonna lie, these niggers were smart. Taking the box of bullets - while a crime - is alot less severe than taking the gun. It deprives me of the ability to reload (assuming I would go postal, which honestly didn't even cross my mind fwiw, as weird as I can be) but avoids the multiple felonies involved with unauthorized possession and/or unloading, as well as privacy and other laws associated with entering my room without cause. They knew there was a gun, I walked in the front door wearing it openly above muh dick; who knows, the presence of the gun may have saved me from a much worse outcome. Yes, it could have caused a much worse outcome, being out of my possession, but thats why next con I'ma have one of those pepper paintball pistols so I don't have to leave shit anywhere (other than the shit I leave everywhere Xp)
>After a whole day of cleaning the bar, just the bartender and purple-anon cleaning, sweeping, and picking up after the "weekend", both parties sit down, enjoying some - for once - earned beer
>The bartender lights a cigarette, as anon types away at his laptop, going through the process of archiving and then wiping his socials
>This is gonna take days, but that's okay
>The bartender looks up
<Oh, yeh, ye fergot me fookin nametag ye limey coont! How am Ah te stab people in the throat when I hug them without it!
>she chortles as he gives her the e_e face
<Ah shoot th' fook up, ye were right
>he smiles agreeingly
<But wha' 'ave ye lairned?
>He sighs
"Always at the hotel. AirBnB is a dice game.
<Aaaaaaaand?
"No alcohol until after the car is packed, no exceptions."
<Aye, boot yer fergettin' somethin'
"And that is? No, I got this. When I fuck up, even with the best of intentions, it brings everyone and everything down. Yes, it was manageable this time, but it could have turned out WAY worse. This cannot be allowed to happen again, and it Will not be. I will take all the necessary time and precaution, treating each con like "Now that that's out of the way, lets spend the next X months planning for the next con with the assistance of an AI because my autistic ass forgets fucking everything. I think that about sums it up."
<Gud
>she tamps out her cigarette
<Ah think ye earned a bowl
>As she packs it, she snickers to herself; he gives her the E_e face
<Ah got te say the line
"Don't"
<Ahm nut a monstar, ahm a MINOTAUR!
"This bitch,...."
Oh! Right! E621
E621 PRIMARILY (aside from the smut site) refers to the following "Requirement" for conventions.
E(veryday) 6(hours of sleep) 2(squareish meals, and) 1(shower, please and for fucks sake).
Through (mostly?) no fault of my own - I'll happily speak to the insomnia and other things - my ratio this weekend went more in the neighborhood of (on average) e1.5.5.5
This isn't bragging (it is a flex tho), this is a statement of determination. I am capable of awesome shit! Dammit!
<Ye knaur them nigger-coonts were jealous cuz ye've got a better knife set than they do
"Thanks, I needed to hear that"
Yes yes, "Im not a monster, I'm a minotaur" is the prevailing theme for this thread and everything going forward. Looking for half-assed RP? This is the thread. Bored and looking for engagement? This is the thread. Trying to pass from the Abyss to the Hells, and think you can barter/negotiate/lie your way through and not get caught? This is the thread. ^_~
Looking at you like you should have seen this coming, the bartender fiddles with her phone.
https://youtu.be/RP0h0WmrhKE?si=Ka_qOd9m-eMofkmX
<Ah fook off, ye shouldnt be surprised te find he's a faggit
Don't YOU start! We earned this! You of ALL "people" know what went into that!
I assume none of you know, but Blood and Thunder is like Fairy Tale; the most newbie friendly, but also about to murder a face or two. And Cowie the druid works day and night to be able to throw out the necessary drops. I have a reputation, well earned.
>Hey, fren,... thanks for keeping me alive that one time
<No, thanks for staying alive ^_^
>THIS MOTHERFUCKER MADE A GODDAMN SONG!! THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT??
NO!! I'M ANGRY BECAUSE I DONT FEEL I DESERVE IT! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You bastards ;_;
[Verse]
Cowie the Druid swims all night
<aye, every fookin day
In the Bay of Storms under pale moonlight
Thorium veins with a rich delight
Mining gems till the dawn breaks bright
<Fookin swipers
[Verse 2]
Blood and Thunder plays their tune
<THAT we do!
Guildmates laugh beneath the moon
<Frequently
Arcane crystals and sapphires blue
Hidden treasures for the chosen few
<okay, I had a think, and I honestly don't know how many people I've saved. Like, that's my thing; here, take this, don't die.
[Chorus]
In the water's deep embrace
Cowie finds her special place
Gems and ore in a fluid race
A druid's calm in nature's grace
<It keeps people in the fight, thats what its about
[Verse 3]
Storms that roar with mighty clash
Waves and winds in a wild bash
Mined with purpose gems that flash
Thorium veins with a golden splash
[Bridge]
Underneath the world's harsh glare
Cowie delves with utmost care
Riches found but none to spare
<So true, I'm always the one dying
For the druid who braves the stormy air
[Verse 4]
Night is long but she's not weary
Sea's as wild as a fabled fairy
Mining deep where it's quite scary
Filling bags in a quest so merry
>riches found but none to spare, for the druid who braves the stormy air
Ngl, that one gets me in the feels
Okay, I don't know how this nigger is doing it, but he made a second album.
https://suno.com/playlist/1f671d50-0b51-4f5d-b462-b1b11500eaeeIn this album we ask the ever-important question: Who's running floor spec?