This thread begins the next segment of the now blatantly obvious Game threads. known to some faggots as the 'gay bath house'
3 weeks have passed in game time, and Port Barry is largely rebuilt and restructured, though evidence of previous battles are still observable in the architecture, walls, etc.
The people have grown stronger, emboldened by the party as their benefactors, and have taken to Football and the message thereof with great zeal.
Any players wishing to join need simply announce themselves and will be beaten included at the earliest ability.
829 replies and 48 files omitted.
Torcuil studies in his new cave after successfully grasping Mystic Theurgy, Tracy has a brand new sekret lair within which she has developed the ability to control her golded spike chains with her mind, Trump has a whole bunch of shiny buildings with his name on it, and Infernius has gotten really good at weapon and armor smithing.
Tracy should note that her quiver has slots for 6 melee sized weapons (the official description says "bows", but bows are large items and I see no reason one couldn't keep non-bows in there). Those chains take up 1 slot.
Along the way, Infernius decided to put on the sleeves Thez left for him. They're billowy like drapes (which is odd because they were skin-tight before). As he places his arm into the mouth (golden demon shaped) of one, a voice whispers into his mind.
"At last, a fresh meal!"
The sleeve inflates, and then vaccum seals to his arm. As it does so, he quickly realizes that the inside of the sleeve is lined with rows and rows of dagger-like teeth that sink into his arm. The pain is incredible.
>>12267Not at this time, that will require more experience
>>12269Uh... Do I need to get the scissors?
As Infernius experiences this, the other sleeve envelops his other arm in a similar manner. They begin thrashing around, utterly destroying his arms under their fury.
As this occurs, Infernius feels his hand brush against something hard and geometric, that darts away from his grasp as he makes contact.
>>122726', and you can connect them if you like (there's how many? IIRC you stole away 5 corpses, so there's 10 I thnk)
>>12269ARG!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*laughs to stop from yelling*
Meanwhile, Tracy is busy gathering information. Remember that info-spiel from Sechs, which defined how Tracy realized Pip was worth further investigation? That happens now.
>>12263Thanks
>>12265So now what are we doing?
>>12275I'm also looking for
targets opportunities to expand the word of Football
>>12272Also, Tracy picks up a wooden stick and some ambiguous cutlery for her bag.
>>12273Oh,
those spiked chains.
I also thought I said earlier that Tracy dropped-off the golem parts in Lenos's workshop, shortly after the fight with Soros.
>>12274That's the spirit. In response to the laughter, the sleeves slow for a moment, confused at their victim's response. It is at this point that Infernius grabs hold of the geometric devices, one in each sleeve.
"So! You're not some pathetic weakling, simply looking to steal my power! Very well then. You may have me, and in exchange I shall have your blood as sustenance. Be wary of ever weakening, for then I shall devour your body AND your soul!"
Long story short, the sleeves are called the Infernal Arms of Relentless Might. +12 str
>>12279So you did. Uhm,... what did you want done with them again? I know that was how Lenos was gonna teach Infernius, but I forget what you wanted done
>>12282>>12279Okay really, what is the financial situation?
>>12280i-Is this a goku uniform?
>>12281Well, in exchange for constantly eating the player (that's why the regen stone) and they require a 25 or greater strength just to use them (hence the girdle). But yeah.
>>12283Okay. In exchange for the sale of the artisan's wares, the jeweler is to split the profits with the town. That amounts to about 1000g/wk, more than enough to sustain building projects (most of which are done anyway).
>>12282pic semi-related
It should at least have components of the Balor's Whip and the Chain Demons' powers. I mentioned a melee saw function too, if possible (I'm a greedy bastard).
Stands now alone, feeling sad
>>12287I'll tell you what. Since you have the quiver and length is therefore technically not an issue, how long do you want the chain to be (max 60')?
>>12288I'm confused, but don't worry. After I finish this bit with Infernius and Tracy, there's gonna be a thing that you'll like.
>>12291Yeah, its hella hax if you can survive
>>12288>>12291>*is teleported*"High, ~Flashy!"
>>12289Is there any reason I'd want it shorter?
As long as possible, of course.
>>12295I'll have you roasted if you post anything like that again.
>>12294Not a Goku uniform, but stupid-strong arms. You notice that while your hand is gripping the geometric devices (they're dodecahedrons - 20 sided dice for reference), your visible (now shiny black) arms are relaxed at your sides, responding as normal arms would. Don't let go of the dice.
Uhhh, GM hasn't seen Kill La Kill. Has been saving it, since I hear its comparable to Gurren Lagann, which is
absolute favorite anime.
So as Tracy is concluding her conversation with Sechs, muttering to herself for having apparently been had in spite of all attempts to see through any deception, a more random citizen runs up to Sechs.
"The Ridiculous Cunt has returned!"
Sechs adopts an excited and enthusiastic expression, and the two of them run off toward the port.
>>12296Alright. You can't change its length, but its now a 60' spiked chain that you can restrict the length of simply by pulling more out or putting more in (free action). Oh, and its a +5 weapon with Lawful attributes (for combating damage reduction)
>>12301GM shouldn't have given him his balls back so early.
>>12295To answer your question though, probably. They are intelligent, they are constantly eating you (drinking your blood since you have them by the 'balls'), but bestow incredible strength.
I hope you appreciate how coy Thez was playing btw.
>>12301Thez doesn't believe in monogamy. She does believe in killing rivals tho.
>>12304Not respecting GM's Tulpa
>>12305They regenerated, but the sleeves now take up all of his regeneration, so he's effectively 'normal' as far as recuperation.
>>12307why you instagateing bro? i respect thez.
>>12307No need to white-knight, they had a moment and in spite of a misunderstanding, they're good.
Incidentally Tracy, what did you do with the horns? Thez wants one of them.
>>12313Cease your Black Knighting
>>12316>>12315Stand aside worthy advisary!
>>12317peach rings truly a yuge boost to any day.
So as Sechs and civvy run off, Tracy notices that an enormous ship that wasn't there before is now parked at the dock. Civvies crowd the area with shouts and cheers, as some well-dressed pirates make their way from the ship.
The pirates, who are quite popular with the locals, begin the unloading of crates and chests, while interacting with whomever approaches. Hugs are exchanged, laughter and stories (and the promise of more) fill the air. Quietly amidst this procession, a extremely posh Dwarf places his foot on the ship's rail. A chorus of cheers rise from the civilians, followed by a growing chant of "Korak! Korak! KORAK! KORAK!!!" ending in an even greater cheer.
The dwarf raises his hand wordlessly, and the crowd subsides. He looks out at the city, with signs of the recent seige still apparent.
His eyes fix on Sechs, who he immediately demands. "Explain this shit."
Sechs then goes into quick rundown on all that has happened to Port Barry. From the Rats infestation, to the party's arrival, to the first Soros fight, then the second, the rebuilding, Football, the stadium and other buildings, Football,....
The dwarf listens intently without blinking.
>>12329Nice flag
I'm assuming Torc is with the rest of the party
>>12328I would imagine that you would be making your way to the docks, given that as word of the Ridiculous Cunt returning (ship's name) spreads.
>>12331You just teleported in, so yeah. Its non-consequential, so I'm assuming everyone is closely in the area to witness.
>>12332REEEEE! I have to change back into a business suit*Comes in in a blaze of glory riding atop a majestic Gold Dragonne. Or teleporting in, one of the two*
>>12335oy vey goyim did you just assume my geographical location?
>>12337Yes, you male cis white jew
>>12337I'd say you're in the surroundings. You can be elsewhere if you want, but its simpler to just go with it.
>>12336As Sechs completes his story (almost like it was timed) Trump comes riding in on Fae, the very symbol of glory, heroism, and majesty.
"I take it you're this Trump fella." The dwarf says as you approach.
He continues:
"The word is you and your friends have done a great deal of service and activity in and about the Port. Sechs said plenty of good things about you, and I'm curious. Why?"
>>12340i grapple up to a rook overlooking the boat and crowd.
>>12339Have you seen Trump Jr's wife?
Trump thinks for a moment. He can tell this dwarf is no slouch, and by his appearance and accoutrements, is distinguished and powerful. He clearly has something to do with the port, but doesn't know what all this means yet.
>>12344Uh, Tracy? Hasn't posted for a minute
>>12341"I am indeed he. I'm cannot speak to everyone's motives, but I do it because I live to serve, nation and Football. The people of Port Barry have taken us as their protectors. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"
>>12309Wtf happened while I was eating?
>>12346No, she said either White or Jew, not both
I was proiing her wrong
>>12348Its been cinematic, no worries.
>>12347He tilts his head. He's a dwarf (so he's short), but is the most well-dressed and and aesthetic dwarf you've ever seen. He's dressed in a shiny suit (literally, 18th century style, double breasted) with dark pinstripes. He wears a neat bowler hat, his hands are perched atop a swank-ass cane, and he wears a fluffy black cape.
"Coinan. Korak Coinan, captain of the Ridiculous Cunt, and founder of Port Barry."
His beard is neat and well cared for, resembling the curls of Rarity's mane.
>>12321>>12325>>12329>>12332Yes, in stealth of course.
>>12340*glares daggers at Fae*
>>12351*Trumpaladin is impressed by his attire*
"It is very much a pleasure to meet you. I am very fond of this city you founded."
Looks out at the city
"I hope you don't mind the changes we've made"
(Please note the street layout and architecture should be visibly different)
Korak glances at the stadium, then back at Trump.
"What is Football?"
*crawls closer, slowly in stealth*
"Wait a second,... is that a blue pony?" He says, his eyes immediately swiveling toward Tracy. "Them there fetch a high price."
>>12358REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MUH STEALTH
Well, I guess the pony's pout of the bag now..
*stands up and glares*
"I'm not for sale."
>>12360"Many have said that to me before. This one here, for example," he says gesturing to some of the pirates, who lead the Slovakian Unicorn up onto the deck. "I'm not one for asking permission."
>>12355"I have so much to tell you. But if I had to distill it into a single thing, it would be the feeling of being at home where you belong - of belonging to a larger group, and taking its fortunes as your own"
*in the distance, an Eagle caws*
>>12358"That's Trixie. At least I think that is the name of the blue coated pony with a light blue mane. She hasn't been broken, so I don't think you'd want to buy her"
>>12361look here you smelly fuck. the lady is not for sale.
>>12362>hasn't been broken"Challenge accepted."
In a blur of speed, Korak leaps from the deck, rolls past the crowd, to stand (again in a dignified pose with his cane) before Tracy.
"Now now, its best if you don't fight." He says with a bit of a smirk.
[2d20 = 31]>>12364feint a stab
*bites off nose* (real intention)
>>12361*eyes widen*
"Is she in need of a visa?"
>>12359"I have to concur with the bull and the blue one. Trixie here screams "Dangerously Defective and Unsafe," and all of the legal disclaimers in the world could not protect us from the lawsuits that would ensue if she were sold. We cannot sell her in good conscience"
[1d20 = 6]>>12367Grab pony to stop her
Tracy don't you dare get us in a law suit already
>>12366Ignored
>>12367Despite great rolls, Korak perceives the feint, and avoids the attack, moving gracefully around to the side. As he does so, he taps his cane against the ground which quickly becomes a scottish-style, basket hilt claymore (free action). He also flips his cape, which begins to swirl with color, concealing his body below the neck.
>>12370"Uh, sir, that's not advisable"
[2d20 = 31]>>12369It can no longer be avoided...
>>12370Use chain to sunder weapon
Also roll for Intimidate check
[1d20 = 12]>>12374Fuck it
To Tracy
"Don't hurt him too much"
To the dwarf
"I'll pay you back, but I think you misunderstand the situation"
Pulls out the weapon smasher, and attacks to break his claymore
[1d20 = 4]>>12371No worries
>>12372You're on a roof. You want to climb down? You climb down.
>>12373So not listening, his eyes are on a prize. Spoiler alert, Korak makes a good deal of money from selling slaves. Not my character, just being authentic.
>>12374<BANG>As Tracy begins to draw her weapon (which is a free action, but he had prepared this action) his cloak flies away revealing a pistol.
[1d20 = 11]>>12376Alright, attack straight for the pistol if possible
There is no way I can possibly keep up with specific action
[1d8 = 1]
[10d6 = 32]
He hits, a solid strike to Tracy's shoulder.
>>12376>4I've got evasion and improved uncanny dodge; can't she avoid that?
If it misses, does that provoke an attack of opportunity?
[4d20 = 56]>>12379Saving roll
if not, Autohypnosis: ignore the pain
If that succeeds, lunge forward and go for the gun with intent to cut of his hand in the process (I'm guessing this is an attack of opportunity, because who'd expect someone to ignore a gunshot wound)
Add a Psionic Surge to the lunge (she's pissed)
That REALLY hurt, and Tracy is momentarily stunned.
>>12377It'll take another round to close distance.
>>12380Not when all the modifiers are considered, plus it was a sneak attack (saving throw, not attack). You did get less damage for the evasion, but he still landed it.
>>12381You're welcome to act, but you're out of melee/action range.
"Gust" says Korak.
From the tip of his blade, a gale-force wind blows at Tracy, making her unable to make any forward progress.
"Trump! In addition to saving me town, you've brought me this lovely surprise!"
He menacingly walks forward, maintaining the wind.
>>12382Your lunge is cut short, as buffeting winds prevent you from advancing
[1d20 = 4]>>12384[autistic neighing]
Check for Intimidation, because why not?
Korak glances around him for a moment, as the wind subsides.
"Now then pretty pony, won't you be a good girl? I'd hate to further damage that delightful figure."
Meanwhile, Thez: "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>12383Cast Detect alignment
"Uh, I'm sorry but I don't remember making a contract. And you certainly can't have her now, she is needed here"
>>12386Okay, creeped the fuck out by that remark
As the wind subsides, Korak stands just out of range of Tracy, sword leveled at her. In his other hand he holds the pistol.
>>12390If I have a move and I am in range, go for weapons smash on the pistol. If not, go with
>>12388 and possibly move closer
>>12388"Yeah, I'm still planning our wedding ceremony!"
>is touchingCast Inflict Moderate Wounds
>>12388Neutral Evil
>>12388"Oh, but we're only just getting started! You said she needed to be tamed,...."
>>12392Trump closes in behind Korak, just out of range.
>>12394Cast? 'splain.
Motion ceases for a second.
[1d20 = 14]>>12395Cast protect from evil, or whatever that spell is called, on Tracy
"Just what is your business here?"
>>12395Level II Blackguard Spell
>Tracy is so edgy that she can cut just by touching youIf not, go for Inflict Slight Wounds
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Inflict_Moderate_Wounds >>12396Okay, that won't work, just close in range to destroy the Pistol
>>12397Which spell set is the proper spell set? There's a radically different one for each edition
>>12400I.. I don't know how it works...
I was using this page:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:BlackguardBecome momentarily Ethereal: phase through the dock
>>12402Idk how spells work at all...
Motion resumes
>>12396Done, a golden aura of Football envelops Tracy, granting several bonuses. +2 to ac, saves, and other effects (mind control, etc.)
>>12398You teleport behind him, but I don't know what the phrase is supposed to do. He doesn't respond regardless.
>>12399It did work though (the spell). You can attempt on the pistol next round.
>>12400I'm going with 3.5 paladin atm, which prot from evil is a 1st level spell.
>>12402OOooh! That was a GOOD MOVE.
Korak stands there, a bit stunned at what he's seen.
"I'm beginning to get why she isn't tamed yet."
He spins and levels his pistol at Torcuil.
"And who might YE be?"
>>12401Cast a spell to remove Jewiness
>>12403You're doing great. Since you have distance and concealment, you can stealth or cast spells unbothered. Remember how easily he spotted you in stealth tho.
[1d20 = 13]>>12404The man who shagged ye mum
>stab with dagger [1d20 = 16]>>12404"Yep, that's Trixie for you, now sorry but I'm going to have to put that down"
Destroy the pistol!
>>12405e_e It sounds like you're trying to cast Remove Curse, but that doesn't apply. You're now unrestricted and not hindered, and you're beneath the dock (which is about 30' wide, so it will take more than one round for anyone in hot persuit to get to your position, and atm no one is.
>>12406>>12405i cast circumcision reversal.
>>12409I was talking to the Nazi Cleric: he should have a spell for this.
*prowls in stealth*
>>12405>>12407>>12410Don't kill him until we know we can do so without a general revolt. He's popular. The people love them. I've spent too damn long trying to make these people love me
When we can do so safely, then we kill him, take his stuff, and any foreign lands he owns as colonies
>>12408Stop calling her Trixie, you're hurting her feelings
>Her entire meme used to be killing people for calling her fluttershy>>12410This has to count as ability drain for kikes.
>>12407Korak parries the dagger with his pistol.
"Yer loss mate!" he shouts at Torcuil, while performing an elaborate parry against Trump's attack.
"Aye! This is magnificent All of ye, come at me then!" he taunts, seeming to enjoy all this. He foregoes any attacks and steps back out of range in a dueling pose.
>>12410Ur sack already regenerated.
>>12415Circumcisions are for forskins: all Jews cut off their foreskins to gain Jew powers.
>>12415"Just who exactly are you, why are you here, where are you from, and what is you business?"
>>12414He's being elusively in character, Tracy understands that he's keeping her anonymous.
>>12413As more of the well dressed pirates circle around, you rethink the wisdom of that course of action. Strangely, their faces are not conflicted, they're quite enjoying this and don't seem to see it as a deadly confrontation.
>>12415I make my dagger into a full claymore
>>12414ITS TO PROTECT YOU
>>12420WAIT
Cancel that shit, I'm retarded
Teleport ~20 feet away
Steal pistol with Magno-rod
"I'm the captain now"
>>12416e_e It has no effect.
>>12418"I built this town," he says, flicking his hand for a moment. "I gathered the people here" he levels the sword at Torcuil (who is closest) on whom he unleashes another gust (torcuil is kinda stunned, unless he wants to retreat)l, "Defended it," he tosses his cane aside and now stands facing Trump, both hands holding pistols. "And now I'm wonderin' what YER business is. Ye never answered me question about Football, not to me satisfaction anyhow."
[2d20 = 34]>>12413[murderous pony noises]
*lunge up through dock in sneak attack with a Psionic surge and sodomize him with a lightning Javelin*
>>12421Good move, pistols stolen.
"Wha?"
>>12423This was directed towards Korak, btw...
[1d20 = 6]>>12419"I see what's going on" he says, like the WWE champion he is
>>12422With one attack slot, I should have two, cast smite evil, with the other, attack him with Vanderium
[3d6 = 7]>>12423Works for me.
Tracy erupts from a now hole in the dock, launching a javelin of lightning at him. It doesn't hit squarely, but he feels it
>>12430Does the electrocution promote an opportunity attack?
>Pants sizzled off*dual wield*
Castrate him with one kunai and shove another into his haggis
>>12426Kek, fail. He's remarkably limber for an otherwise tight stanced dwarf.
>>12427Are you shooting, cuz that was a meme
>>12428Duh
>>12429Except attacks are not exchangeable for spells. You can get one 'normal' spell and (if applicable) one instant spell per round, no more. You get 3 attacks, but if you cast you don't get any.
>>12433Oh dear.
>>12432Can any of us preform necromancy or bringing faggots back to life?
>>12434Eh, I'll shoot a kneecap
>>12433The saddest part is, I meant to roll two die...
[3d20 = 31]>>12434Then Attack, Attack, Attack
should that be a ten or a twenty die? [2d20 = 27]>>12437Torcuil fires with both pistols.
At the same time Trump unleashes a combo.
"Bees" Korak says, a hexagonal shield of yellow force appearing in front of his left hand.
[1d100 = 22]>>12440You have no idea. Thez has a hard time hitting his slippery ass, even when she's not holding back.
Both of Torcuil's shots ping off the shield, while Trump misses (dodge), misses (dodge), and with a great cry from Vandereim, hits so squarely that Korak may lose an arm
>>12446I don't know when my turn is, but with my next attack, I cast DISPEL MAGIC against the Bees
Do I need to roll? I guess my attack failed?
When can I move again?
>>12445Tracy last zapped him with lightning. No need for the next move, the fight is over now.
Trump's swing very neatly lops off Korak's hand just above the cufflink. He looks down at it in shock, then at the party surging in against him.
"Alright, I give. You look soft, but you're a bunch of salty fucks, I'll give ya that."
As more attacks come in at him, he blurs off to the side (magic item).
"Sechs, see that they're tended to, and snatch up me hand. I wanna have a long talk with 'em."
He turns toward the pirates.
"Now don't give me that look, there were four of 'em!" and to this, the pirates raise a cheer.
>>12449>puts guns in kilt cloakSo what do we do with this faggot?
[2d20 = 14]>>12449Appraise magic item
Also, pickpocket whatever I can from him before he leaves
He swivels his eyes to Trump. "I take it then that ye are the leader of this bunch."
>>12449Okay, scratch
>>12447>>12453"You might say that. What is you purpose here?"
>>12453has tourcil disarmed him?Issue some form of "hold your fire" to Tracy
>>12449i cast cure moderate wounds.
>>12454"I told ye, I built this place, I'm the leader of this Port. I'LL BE HAVING THOSE BACK THANK YE" he yells at Torcuil.
"Anyway, I've been away at sea for months. Upon my return, I see the port has been a wee mangled, fixed up, and there be some shiny arseholes doin my job. I suppose I owe ye one for that." he looks at his hand. "But methinks that debt has been paid. By the way, you could have avoided all this by admitting the blue one is one of yer's. She's mighty fine though," he says with a lewd grin.
>>12459the pirate thats bleeding
>>12458The sword, which had been retrieved by one of the pirates, begins to levatate, carrying the pirate with him. Korak looks at the pirate, scans around to look at Torcuil. "Alright, enough of that."
