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dungeons_and_dragons_and_ponies_by_eshianfulika-d53wnpg.jpg
New Nuts
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12256
This thread begins the next segment of the now blatantly obvious Game threads. known to some faggots as the 'gay bath house'
3 weeks have passed in game time, and Port Barry is largely rebuilt and restructured, though evidence of previous battles are still observable in the architecture, walls, etc.
The people have grown stronger, emboldened by the party as their benefactors, and have taken to Football and the message thereof with great zeal.
Any players wishing to join need simply announce themselves and will be beaten included at the earliest ability.
829 replies and 57 files omitted.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12665
12672
>>12660
"Don't you worry, we'll have a team prepared soon enough. And we'll have a plan too.

Now, I know you've indicated your fondness for them, but if we could somehow reverse engineer your pistols, or at least use them in the assault. And yes, we are interested in your horses. We can exchange perhaps the penthouse, or copperplate your ship's hull in the shipyard in exchange"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12666
12672
>>12663
How long would it take by hoers?
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12667
>>12664
>single wimp ass kick
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12668
12672
>>12664
>tfw picking locks is supposed to be the rogue thing
Reeeeee! This is why people call 3.5e unbalanced!
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12669
12670
>>12662
Tracy is going to have to evade Trump's grapple if she wants to do all that right now.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12670
12671
>>12669
Doesn't mean she can't collect info.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12671
>>12670
She's collecting tons of info about ship sizes, the factories, the luxury apartments, and other commercial data
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12672
12673 12674 12677
>>12665
"Ye like me pistols do ye?" he smiles. "Well, the fella who made em for me had an unfortunate accident some time ago, so I can't introduce him nor direct you to him. As for the hoers,... what be she worth to ye?" he says with a gleam in his eye,
>>12666
About half a day, not pushing the mount.
>>12668
There's lots of ways passed a locked door. Torcuil just hit on one of them.

Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12673
12675 12676
>>12672
I call this method
"Blunt Force"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12674
12676
>>12672
Any moar info about the town surrounding it?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12675
12676
>>12673
>*knife spontaneously materializes in haggis*
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12676
12678 12680
>>12673
Behind the now broken styrofoam door is about a dozen huddled elves in rags, chained together. They cower at our appearance.
>>12674
A gaggle of sychophantic losers who vie for attention and reknown, ultimately getting smote for their efforts.
>>12675
No haggis stirring for the moment.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12677
12679 12681 12682
>>12672
"That's too bad. To have more of those pistols would have been incredibly helpful for the coming battle. Your horses could be helpful as well. How much? I don't know. Fine riding mare, our last one was killed under mysterious circumstances. I guess you can help us by gifting, and we re-gift in kind by playing your ship? The whole ship. Guaranteed to increase speed"
>12674
*puts his hands on her muzzle*
"You can ask all you want later. But for the moment, he is mine"
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12678
12682
>>12676
Shit, Torc's one weakness

Social Interaction
LotR elves of Santa clause elves?
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12679
>>12677
Plating. Not "playing"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12680
>>12676
>gaggle of sychophantic losers who vie for attention and reknown, ultimately getting smote for their efforts.
Fucking hell, that's exactly what I thought it'd be.
Sorcerers.. edgy nerd, all of them.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12681
>>12677
Why do you get in my way?
[muffled pony noises]
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12682
12683 12684 12685
>>12678
LOTR, they're shabby and obviously mistreated
>>12677
"Ye didn't answer me question lad. I can tell ye want her so tell me: what's she worth to ye?"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12683
12686
>>12682
*narrows eyes at dwarf*
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12684
12689
>>12682
Okay

Hey, I'm gonna help you guys.
Can you understand me?
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12685
12688 12689
>>12682
"A solid riding mare could go for 2000 sheckles. She looked a little worn, so perhaps 1000. But I wish to offer you the full 2000 nevertheless"
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12686
12687
>>12683
He'a talking about Slovenia, but your irritation is not unwarranted.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12687
>>12686
I know.
*glaring intensifies*
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12688
12690 12691
>>12685
I have 16, now 17 charisma points god damn it! Do I have to roll for bluff? Cast a spell to increase my charisma?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12689
12692 12697
>>12684
A bunch of beleagured stares, and non-associated shakes of the head. They clearly don't understand.
>elves
>>12685
"Nice try lad, but the horn alone will fetch 4k, and since she's kicking, I wouldn't let her go for less than 5"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12690
>>12688
You don't have bluff (I do), although you do have Diplomacy and Profession.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12691
>>12688
Eagle's splendor, lvl 2. +4 Cha for 1 min/level
I'm telling u now, he's all thief, and salty at that; it won't work.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12692
12694
>>12689
Oh uh elvish, right
"Suilad?"
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12693
well, mostly thief
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12694
12695 12696 12698
>>12692
Was that elven? Does Torciul even speak elven?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12695
>>12694
He spent like 15+ years alone learning memes off of cave paintings, so I wouldn't put it past him.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12696
12699 12702
>>12694
No, but I have google....
Torc teleports Trollestia there for help
Bad idea? Yes. Best Torc can do? Sadly yes
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12697
12702
>>12689
"Heh, unicorn horns. I appreciate your concern for fabulosity. Tell you what, since I really don't want to you to lose out on any of your possible profits, I'll give you the full 4500 in bonds and options here."
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12698
>>12694
He also proved literacy in Draconic earlier.
Several of those tombs he was reading for 3 weeks had to be in elvish.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12699
12700
>>12696
>Teleporting a powerful unicorn against her will into a room full of naked sex slaves
Sounds like a bad idea to me...
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12700
12701
>>12699
Would you prefer me teleport Tracy or Trump right now?
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12701
>>12700
Not right now goddamn it we're about to sign a contract to free all of them!
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12702
12704 12707
>>12697
"Bonds? Paper contracts, lad I don't know who ye're used to dealing with, but I deal in hard coin."
>>12696
Yes, that will. As Trollestia suddenly appears, she looks out along thedozen or so slaves. No words are exchanged, but there is clearly a dialogue of sorts. The elves visibly relax, some of them seeming almost energized. "They have been here for several weeks, they were once indigenous and have been taken from their lands by force. Freeing them will put you at odds with their captor, but I am not about to advise leaving them to their fate."

Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12703
12705
Tracy listens in on surrounding conversations, looking for moar info.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12704
12706 12708
>>12702
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!! REEEE!!!

Trump looks into Tracy's eyes with a sort of "what do I do from here" questioning look
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12705
12710
>>12703
Alright then, Trump taps into Tracy and then gives her the look
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12706
>>12704
Trump is unaware of whats going on with Torcuil. He only knows the situation with the crafty dwarf.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12707
12711
>>12702
Oh trust me, I wasn't planning on it

Wanna pull a prison break?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12708
12709 12710 12713
1508871942878a.jpg
>>12704
>you are so bonded as a couple that you can read Tracy's resonse from her eyes alone
'Stab?'
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12709
12713
>>12708
Wrong goddamn image.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12710
>>12705
*looks back*
>>12708
Ignore that picture, it already ruined the mood...
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12711
12712 12718
>>12707
"I thought you'd never ask." She replies.
Without hesitation, she begins stomping down on the fixtures holding their chains in place. After a few such blows, she weakens the binds but is unable to fully remove them.
"Good wizard, I think a meme might be in order. Something to do with escape or freedom. Not braveheart tho, that's to cliche'."
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12712
>>12711
Don't fuck this one up, Torcuil.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12713
12716
>>12709
You picked exactly the right image
>>12708
Well, that's unhelpful

Trump looks back at the dwarf, more confident. "Alright then. How would you like the spacious penthouse apartment of the luxury apartments, with its close proximity to the whorehouse, fancy restaurants, and tailors shops, and a view of the ocean and harbor. All yours"
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12714
12715
Spoiler, Trollestia is only really concerned with one thing (alluded to in the Tracy dialogue), the suffering of innocents.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12715
12717
>>12714
>the suffering of innocents
>Is a Troll
..For it, or against it...?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12716
12726
>>12713
"Hmmmm. They were nice accomodations, but I'm a man of the sea. I don't need lavish apartments, or views, why would I? I have the open sea!" He downs the remainder of this flagon and slams it on the table. "Moar booze!" he shouts to no one in particular, though a serving wench quickly moves to oblige.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12717
12719
>>12715
Against. She'll fuck with players and participants all day, but in the same sense that she rebuked Tracy for killing the copper mare, she gets angry Celestia-faced when there are people wantonly suffering in her sight.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12718
12719 12724
>>12711
>no braveheart
Fuck you
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lEOOZDbMrgE
I can't find shit thats better
Can Torc shoot lightning out his arse?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12719
12721
>>12717
Fucking unicorns, thinking they're so great...
>>12718
This is why your character is still a virgin.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12720
Tracy appraises various objects around the room, still trying to gather information.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12721
12722
>>12719
Name something more appropiate
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12722
12723
>>12721
What do you think I am, a wizard?
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12723
>>12722
Exactly
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12724
12725 12727
>>12718
>no braveheart
>braveheart
What did I just say? SMH
Alright, pause for a moment.
What effect does Torcuil want to unleash? Realize, he's in a room with bound captives and a unicorn. There's no threat present. What kinda meme would help the situation?


Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12725
>>12724
My character is stuck, atm. Wut do?
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12726
12728 12731
>>12716
Well, since he won't take Trump's Bonds, an IOU, and he won't take the penthouse, I guess Trump's only real option is to go home and beg Lenos for a small loan of 5000 sheckels in jewelry that totes isn't for that guy he hates. Trump should 5000 worth in fast sailing ships, restaurants, and stocks in the factories, but if the dwarf doesn't want the penthouse or the bonds, I don't think he'd accept those. Trump could offer fancy dresses and fine alcohol, but he doesn't have enough.
"Well, it's been a great night, but I think I have to take off. I have an early day tomorrow. Please enjoy yourself and your revitalized city. And please, please. Join us tomorrow in the suites at the stadium for Football"

Trump turns to Tracy, and tries to sound as happy as he can. He moves aside to make sure the dwarf can't hear him say this
"I failed, and my quarry got away. I know you have questions you want answered, and I don't know if you are willing to wait for tomorrow. Come home with me, don't leave me empty handed. But if you want to stay here, well, may you have happier hunting than I"
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12727
12731
>>12724
Uhhhh
Trollestia, meet me in the city
>teleports behind Krak
Nothing Personal kid
>knocks him the fuck out
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12728
12729 12731
>>12726
[consoling pony noises]
*follows closely*
Prick. I wanted to kill something tonight.
Anonymous
x/IL/
?
No.12729
12730
>>12728
And I wanted to sign a contract tonight. What did you want to kill?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12730
>>12729
>What did you want to kill?
Anything.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12731
12732 12734
>>12726
Whisper whisper
ASK THE PONY
>>12727
Uh, no. You're unaware of Korak's current location (necessary for teleport) and even if you were it wouldn't play out that way.
>>12728
You'll get your chance soon.

Trollestia continues stomping on the chains and hardware. She's making slow progress, but it will take her some time to break through. As she does so, movement can be heard on the deck, slowly making its way toward the stairs.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12732
12733
>>12731
As in tonight? My character has hit a dead end
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12733
12735 12736
>>12732
>irritated shuffling intensifies
You should really ask the pony. Maybe she stumbled across a treasure trove in one of her new pockets or something,....
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12734
12739
>>12731
I still can't think of a good meme for this

Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12735
12737 12738
>>12733
Alright then,

"Did you find anything of use Tracy?"
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12736
12739
>>12733
*looks at bag and remember's Thez's loot, but also knows she'd have to figure out how to make the unicorn disappear*
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12737
12738 12748
>>12735
Trump goes in to kiss Tracy regardless. This time, he is not cut off. There is no guest to offend
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12738
12747
>>12735
".... I... I have assets.. What's mine is-"
>>12737
[passionate french-kissing pony noises]
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12739
12740
>>12736
"That's more than loot! That's my private stash! Its the FINEST!!" Indignantly.
>>12734
If I were you, this is what I'd go with. https://youtu.be/uttV1VZUgQQ
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12740
12742 12743
>>12739
Ugh I'm retarded
Music starts playing
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12741
Yes, that is directed both at Torcuil (in immediate context), and also directed from Torcuil to Trollestia.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12742
12744
>>12740
Splendid! (All that one took was a websearch. e_O)
With a flash of magic, the chains binding the elves shatter. They look at Torcuil and then at Trollestia (with whom they can intuitively communicate). She gives them a confident nod, and they begin climbing to their feet.
As this happens, the wrecked door is suddenly burst more open by a pair of well-dressed pirates.
"Oi, what're you about?" one says as both draw swords.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12743
>>12740
Don't forget the shield bracers
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12744
12745
>>12742
Apparently, love...
>something about two seamen, navy is gay, that shit
And now, Lightning out of Torcs arse

Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12745
12746
Spoilered
>>12744
Image didnt attach
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12746
12750
>>12745
A bolt of lightning shoots from Torcuil's fingers, dropping both pirates in a heap. The below-deck is clear, as most of the crew is engaged in revelry in town. Trollestia stands behind, while the elves are waiting in fear behind.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12747
12751 12752 12785
>>12738
By the way Tracy, feel free to ignore all of this is you want to bolt out and do your own thing. My character is firmly done with pirates for the night
"Don't worry about it. We'll get it later. Bastard won't accept any money accept hard coin so unless you have 30 pounds of metal on you it won't be of any use until tomorrow anyways"

But Trump doesn't really feel interested in talking, since there are better things to do with his mouth. He continues kissing her, and starts to walk down the stairs, and to the apartment tower only a few blocks away. he carries Tracy with a hand on her rump and another wrapped around her back.

He goes to the penthouse of the tower and looks out on the lit ships coming into the harbor, which are visible from the completely dark room. The Penthouse is now a sort of symbol, representing that he did not get what he wanted, but he kept what he already had. He feels up and down Tracy, appreciating her mane and pony body.

He takes her to a bed and lays her upon it. There are no lights on inside, nor are any blinds closed. The only light comes from the city below and the ships in harbor, leaving the room dark. Trump has sex with her as a man properly loves a mare, before laying down to go to sleep holding Tracy

Actually Tracy, you can probably also leave an hour after this point. Trump won't really care
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12748
12749
>>12737
*grasps the back of your head and moans*
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12749
>>12748
Reeee! I did write that out as "lays her on her back." I had intended to say "Lays her on her stomach," which is a more natural position for a horse, although actually less intimate since there is no face to face contact
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12750
12753
>>12746
Follow me
>walks slowly onto deck
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12751
12758
>>12747
Well while you're doing that (you're unaware, but I'm filling in) Torcuil has just liberated a dozen or so slaves and has taken the lower deck of the Cunt.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12752
12758
>>12747
.... Well, that happened.
>you can probably also leave an hour after this point.
But she WOULDN'T. She's too dazed and put at peace by what just happened. She'd lay by you all night long, nestled next to you.

.....
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12753
12755
>>12750
As Torcuil emerges from below, a trio of pirates from the perimeter of the ship become alarmed,
"Oi!", "You there!", "Stop right there!", and all three draw swords. Trollestia is at your rear.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12754
All 3 are out of range, and closing. No one can attack, but Torcuil has magic. Meme, good sir?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12755
>>12753
Couldn't their combined powers teleport all the slaves to a safe location?
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12756
12757 12759
>shield bracers
Hey, nice swords, though I think your friends may want to see it
>torc uses magno rod to fling a sword threw an eye of each pirate
KJfGq
?
No.12757
[6d20 = 48]
>>12756

Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12758
12760 12765
>>12752
Kek, sorry to fuck you out of an adventure
>>12751
Where is the Cunt parked exactly? If it's docked in just the wrong place, the Harbor may be liable for damages, and they'd have to pay for the value of the lost goods. If it's moored off shore, then he's just going to have to take the loss. Either way, Trump is going to personally lead a team of blood hounds to look for one of the missing slaves as soon as he hears about it
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12759
12764
>>12756
The move removes the blades of all three, but only one blade connects.
There are two disarmed pirates still advancing, one pulling a dagger and another moving over toward a cannon.
"This'll teach ye to fuck with us."
As dagger pirate closes, Torcuil gets an attack of opportunity.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12760
12761 12762
>>12758
e_e lame
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12761
12763
>>12760
Have I not indicated that the pirates brought out the worst in him?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12762
>>12760
I never said he'd return her to him.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12763
>>12761
Not overtly that I'm aware of. Noted tho
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12764
12766 12769
>>12759
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ju_10NkGY
Baseball time?
>swing staff like a bat at the closest one
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12765
12769
1552249__safe_artist-colon-modak_rarity_cigarette_pony_smoking_solo_unicorn.jpeg
>>12758
>fuck you out of an adventure
*sighs in contempt*
>tfw you're winning the game (fulfilling all your character's goals perfectly), but now it's not the same since he's enjoying it
KJfGq
?
No.12766
[1d20 = 19]
>>12764
Now we're on the same page
>tfw when I hear the song whistled from the next room after playing
KJfGq
?
No.12767
[1d20 = 2]
<CRACK> the dagger pirate takes a staff straight to the face. Meanwhile, Trollestia advances on the cannon pirate.
KJfGq
?
No.12768
[3d20 = 22]
Dagger reels, but he's not down yet.
Initiative roll, 1st 2 are Torc and Troll
IOoaI
?
No.12769
12772 12774
>>12764
>Not posting a pony version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVKxtIvjLJo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mPaMcWjC1g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqdxrAXFmCU

>>12765
I wasn't intending to, I just had a very clear Idea of what I wanted to do with my character tonight, and that happened to conclude at the same time Tourcil was busy fucking over the entire party by unnecessarily starting a war with a very important ally when the same result could have been achieved by peaceful means
\r
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12770
12771
T> Holy smite
Torcuil's move?
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12771
12773
>>12770
Fireball to the cannon
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12772
>>12769
You can go suck an ass
10 bucks says this dude would steal your wif if we left him be
KJfGq
?
No.12773
12775
[2d20 = 6]
>>12771
Alright, but since not a meme, I'm assuming ur using the staff.
>fires fireball
Its enough to blast the cannon pirate away overboard, but the dagger pirate attacks.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12774
12791
>>12769
That's fine.. it brings my character closer to her goal.
>*guiltily peeks at flowcharts*
Yep, she's completely moonstruck: no assassination tonight.. Right now, she's snuggled up close next to Trumpaladin, her blue chest rising and falling and her little hooves twitching at nothing, as she has sweet dreams about stabbing.......
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12775
>>12773
>didnt watch the braveheart speach
KJfGq
?
No.12776
12792
[5d8 = 19]
[2d8 = 10]
Awww. With a whish whish, dagger pirate fails to land a solid hit at all. And then Troll smites him.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12777
12778 12792
Yeah, he's down. The ship is now under Torcuil's tartan command. Noises can be heard from the city as the commotion is obvious, but for the moment the scene is clear. Some of the elves make their way topdeck and start to mill around.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12778
12779
>>12777
YOU ARE A PIRATE
>adds it to list of Torc's traits
Uh, Trollestia, whatvar the elves saying?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12779
12780
>>12778
"I don't know their dialect, but empathically I can tell that they are confused. Hopeful, but confused. They are emboldened by your actions, but have seen suffering for so long that they are not ready to fight. At best, they may be a distraction."
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12780
12782
>>12779
Can you get them out of here before the reinforcements arrive?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12782
12784
>>12780
"Doubtful. I can't convey to them much, though I can probably keep them out of harm's way."
Shouts of alarm draw closer.
Meanwhile in the Rusty Duck (where all the revelry is occurring) a pirate runs up to Korak and whispers in his ear. His face grows sour.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12784
12788
>>12782
Too late, teleport oo the stables?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12785
12791
>>12747
This is what you're doing? Well, at least you're not surrounded or in jeopardy.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12786
12789
Tracy is resting happily and peacefully, completely contempt.
I think I'll lurk for a bit more, and go to but unless I see any reason not to. It's 1:00 AM anyway.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12787
Go to bed*
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12788
12790
>>12784
You could with just the two of you, but that would leave the elves to themselves. You could, a prison break is a plausible scenario to bluff your way through. Your choice.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12789
>>12786
>Tracy is content
>GM sidequest achieved
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12790
12793
>>12788
Uhhhh
>cuts ships lines
>breaks ramp
Will this help?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12791
12793
>>12774
>A little blue pony stabs at the air while sleeping
That is a strangely adorable thought. I'm glad someone won from that interaction, because without a contract signed it's the perfect "and no one got laid" kind of ending.
>>12785
If the pirate is too smart to fall for the Paper Money Meme, then yeah, I don't have any choice. Stealing the unicorn would have been too likely to start shit that Trump wouldn't want, and he also wasn't going to sell Tracy.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12792
12793 12796
>>12777
>>12776
>Tourcil killed someone to free the immigrant laborers
We will all suffer for that tomorrow, won't we?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12793
12794 12798
>>12790
That will prevent any others from boarding. Without innovation, the pirates now lack the means to re-board.
>>12791
Its fine, but from Trump apts you notice a few flashes from the docks.
>>12792
Tomorrow?
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12794
>>12793
Are you still going to do shit in the vincinity of my character? Because I'm ready to call it quits for the night...
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12795
12796 12797 12798
Actually, tomorrow is a good point. If anyone wants to adjourn, this is a good place.
The Cunt is largely blocked, since Torcuil destroyed the ramp to the docks. All on-board pirates are either down or displaced (there's one in the water still) but the ship is clear.
Korak has been notified that there's trouble, but he doesn't know the nature or cause. He's en route to the Cunt in a foul mood. Trump sees that there's a commotion at the docks, but can't yet be sure of the cause or nature.
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12796
12798 12801
>>12792
Hey, your horse is free now
>>12795
Works for me,
Night anons
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12797
12799 12801
>>12795
Tracy is completely moonstruck for the night and is unable (or just unwilling) to give a fuck about anything outside the room anymore, so I guess I'll go to bed and have her figure out how to kill the nerd tomorrow.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12798
>>12793
The pirates are still in town. You can bet your ass they'll cause hell when the rest of them figure out what happened on the ship
>>12793
Haha, nope. Trump is still pissed at the lack of contract
>>12795
Trump sees nothing. If he hears anything, it's "tomorrow's problem"
>>12796
The entire police force will out to find her, don't you worry
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12799
12800 12801
>>12797
Dude, that's a project that is not going to be completed in a day. That's the biggest boss of the whole game.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12800
>>12799
Okay.....
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12801
12804
>>12796
>free hoers
Not yet, Korak still owns her
>>12797
Understandably so
>>12799
Yeah. I was gonna say "George is bigger", but George isn't riding the Terrasque. Kefka is bigger.

Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12802
12804
So as this session concludes (WTF happened to Infernius BTW?) night has descended on Port Barry. The pirates have settled in (mostly) to their revelry and are only gradually stirring in response to word that something is amiss. Those that can/do respond are moderately intoxicated, and entirely unfocused. Torcuil has commandeered the Cunt, with Trollestia in support, with a dozen or so elven slaves in rags milling about frightened.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12804
>>12801
>korak still owns her
REEEEEEEE
>>12802
>moderately intoxicated
Haha, no. In Trumpaladin's (FAILED) single-minded quest to waifu the unicorn, he made damned sure that every single pirate was fully alcoholed and wenched up over the course of the banquet, probably contracting hundreds or more of shekels in debt to pay for it. They should all be severely intoxicated, and probably too hungover to respond immediately in the morning
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12805
12806 12810
Autistic thoughtbubble before I go to bed.
Couldn't Tracy, with Etherealness, fly inside of some organ-chamber of the Tarrasque, become material again, unsheathe 3 poisoned blades, and just mince its haggis from the inside out, before it even knows what's happening?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12806
12807 12810
>>12805
Just let it swallow you whole, if you're doing weird shit
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12807
12808 12810
>>12806
Swallowing whole is one of its main attacks: it wouldn't be vulnerable through that opening.
Now, if it's rear end were to suddenly become filled with poisoned blades and explosives....
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12808
12810
>>12807
Ah, wait, regeneration... Could work if the attacks were held constant though.
It's a thought though: having it die from massive anal hemorrhaging.

Autistic thoughtbubble ended.
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12809
12810 12813
Seriously though., could an ethereal entity just phase inside of a giant monster's brain and wreak havoc?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12810
12812 12813
>>12805
"Yessss!"
That is in fact the imminent strategy for killing the Terrasque. Thez is proud.
>>12806
This one leads to the previous.
>>12807
Maybe not normally, but holes can be cut.
>>12808
That wouldn't work. It regenerates at a crazy rate, and has a significant damage reduction. It won't bleed out, it needs direct damage.
>>12809
One can't phase in, there are rules against that which I agree with.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12811
12812
I did say ppl r gonna get eated didn't I?
Mrs. Sentry
hkela
?
No.12812
12814
>>12811
>eated
>>12810
>there are rules against that which I agree with.
Mind explaining?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12813
maxresdefault (10).jpg
>>12809
See pic related. Given the importance of the Terrasque to the overall narative, I don't believe it will be the next quest
>>12810
God fucking damn it
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12814
>>12812
No sleep. I'll answer, but not for a while after you've long lost consciousness.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12815
>If you end a spell and come material while inside a material object (such as a solid wall {or a monster's intestinal tract}), you are shunted off to the nearest open space and take 1d6 points of damage per 5' of {requisite} travel.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12816
12817
Upon further thought, Tourcil did good. That pirate can gets his ship back once he agrees to free his captives and to fight to for us. All pirate should be disabled either on the ship or by drunkenness in town
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12817
12818
>>12816
These pirates are more disciplined than that, but you've nailed a salient and significant point (unintentionally)
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12818
12819
>>12817
>the pirate says we can fight to liberate the town
Haha he can die with us. The Cunt is being impounded on the grounds that it was found, upon inspection, to contain goods that were not declared to customs upon entering the harbor. All pirates, who should be disorganized from alcohol and women, will be arrested for conspiracy to violate customs laws, including charges of evading tarriffs and importation of illegal goods (I have no idea if elves are illegal, but goddamnit I am alleging it. All cargo will be confiscated as violating customs. Koran himself will be kindly told that the state is willing to drop all charges if only he agrees to do certain things. But if criminal charges are filed, the state will move for civil asset forfeiture on the Cunt, meaning we get his ship.

Oh yeah. And I'm taking his waifu
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12819
12820 12821
>>12818
I'm sorry, did I say the Pirates were being arrested for customs violations? What I meant to say is that, while the town had admitted the crew into the town for legal immigration purposes, they had not followed proper immigration procedure and checked each pirate for disease.

You see, sailors returning from very long voyages to far off lands can bring with them the dreaded Syphilus virus, besides Black Death and who knows what else. The relevant town officials are exercising their power to protect public health, and are revoking the admissions of the Pirates. The drunken pirates will be detained in the quarantine zone for at least 24 hours pursuant to the need for an emergency medical examination. Meanwhile, the state will consider pursuing charges for customs violations should an investigation reveal anything. The State apologizes for this glaring oversight in the enforcement of its immigration law
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12820
12823 12824 12826
>>12819
You're getting ahead of yourself again. The state? Tariffs and customs? Its a friggin' pirate port. All good are viable, no questions asked. You swear cuz he's named (JUST named) Trump that he's the president n shit.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12821
>>12819
>revoking admissions
No
>detained en quarantine
No
>charges
No
Trump has no authority
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12822
Thread post 555 \\w/
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12823
12825 12831
>>12820
>Trump has no authority
Correct. A frantic Sechs barges into his apartment at 1:00AM telling trump "your friends fucked things up. What do I do." Trump recommended Sechs do everything stated above

>>12820
>no customs
In "Make Port Barry Great Again Part 2" I explained that tarriffs were charged on goods to raise money for reconstruction. But seriously, you can't have Trump without tarriffs

>immigration
About three weeks ago I explained, and it was accepted, that Port Barry had a detention facility used as a quarantine zone. I explained that the purpose of that facility was to detain sailors who were suspected of carrying disease. The quarantine zone has since been used in the second Soris fight. Just think about it. Sailors can carry disease if gone for too long and too far. And the crew that just came in has been gone for six months to everywhere. They could have Syphilus, or worse

>customs
When you have a vegetable from a foreign country and you bring it in the airport, CBP is going to confiscate it. Why? Because it could carry diseases and pests that kill entire crops. Likewise, the Cunt was carrying horses. Horses that could have disease. Now, part of the economy of Port Barry depends on its leather industry, and part of its defenses rely on horses. We're not going to risk all that just because someone is too lazy to tell customs they have horses in their cargo hold

>admission
Every time you enter the US or any other nation, even if you are a citizen or an LPR, you must show an immigration officer your passport and visa if applicable. This process is called "admission" in immigration law. Now, Port Barry, as explained before, is not going to have half its population die just because a guy sick with bubonic plague gets off a ship. They get examined first if they are gone more than a month. Like the whole crew of the Cunt

>a pirate town
*was. As I said before, it's changed a little when the market switched from piracy to manufacturing and import and export of goods. Trump is save in the endorsement of Immigration and Customs. Expect it
IOoaI
?
No.12824
12825
>>12820
>all goods are viable
That's probably correct, slavery would not be illegal even after the party arrived. But they need to prevent the domestic horse and elf population from being compromised by pony-pox infection, which means all cargo must be declared with customs so proper accounting and examinations can be done
\r
IOoaI
?
No.12825
>>12823
*Trump is savy in the enforcement of immigration and customs
>>12824
another reason for the declaration of imported goods, in the case of horses, is because of the new tariffs. Interestingly though, because the tariffs are designed to protect the nascent domestic tanning industry, they would apply to exports, but not imports. Of course, every horse imported is a horse that can be exported, so all the same from a regulatory stand point
\r
IOoaI
?
No.12826
12831
>>12820
>it's a pirate town
In the alternative, there are no laws and regulations even on the government, and Sechs has all of that done because he doesn't want the Pirates to start fighting the party, and fear of a Syphilis infestation wiping out all of the wenches in the brothel is a good enough excuse to detain all of the Pirates, without the town getting too pissed off that their old heroes are being arrested
\r
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12827
12829
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO. TOURCIL SCREWED THE POOCH WHEN HE ATTACKED THE FRIENDLY PIRATES
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12829
12830 12834
>>12827
"Friendly"
>Acts like he is going to steal tracy
>PIRATE
>slaves
>did I mention slaves?
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12830
12833
>>12829
Plus you're just mad cause I got a white unicorn and you didin't
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12831
>>12823
Denied. Sechs DOESN'T barge in, cuz play is stalled. Even if tariffs WERE in place (they're not), the citizens would waive them for Korak anyway. Realize, you're dealing with a group who (for the moment) the people like MORE than you.
Syphilis? Pony pox? Bubonic plague? SMH no.
This isn't the US.
>>12826
Again, Sechs isn't aware of what is going on yet, but i can assure you that he wouldn't know how to respond in this situation and would stand back. You know, the way you did when the robots attacked. Xp

Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12832
Spoilers. The people of Port Barry are at this time entirely unaware that their city has been largely funded by a slave trade; that shoe hasn't dropped yet. Beyond that, it was and still is for now a regulation-free, tariff-free, customs-free city in the interest of drawing merchants and pirates alike to proffer their wares without all those entanglements that Trump is so keen to impose. Yes, the outer walled area was converted to a quarantine area, but aside from being a place to stick Tracy when she was going apeshit and a rally-point during Soros 2, no one really knows what the hell a quarantine area is used/good for.
The people haven't given a second thought to diseases or the like, because there's a Paladin now, and they're KNOWN for curing disease, so why worry?
Furthermore, the idea of "city funds" is rather new. Previously, Korak would decide based on popular opinion what to do on behalf of the city with his OWN wealth and goods, and the people have been happy with that.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12833
12847
>>12830
*sticks sword in hagis*
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12834
12835 12847
>>12829
>goes on a holy crusade to free non-human races from servitude
Well thank you Abraham Lincoln
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12835
12836 12847
>>12834
says the guy who is <ahem> "Lawful Good"
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12836
12837 12840
>>12835
*Dixie plays softly in the background*

It's a very parochial permutation of lawful good, concerned with helping his particular volk, but mostly indifferent beyond that, not seeing every problem in the world as belonging to him. Do I have to b lawful evil to be a Nationalist?

Besides this, Trumpaladin belongs to a culture where horses are and ought to be chattel, where elves can don't exist, but the keeping of immigrant labor is common, and where freeing slaves by violence is associated with the burning of cities, the destruction of plantations, and generally unjustified aggression

Besides this, he doesn't understand the situation, not knowing about the elves and thinking the horses are their wards
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12837
12838
>>12836
Noted. Trump still doesn't know what's going on though.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12838
12839
>>12837
So... How does one go about getting 5000 in shekels, and not just in real estate, stocks, or bonds?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12839
12842
>>12838
You could ask Ben, but at the moment that degree of wealth doesn't seem to be available.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12840
>>12836
>keeping of immigrant labor is common
Oh come on, you know better than I do that that just robs jobs from citizens, at the benefit of providing non-patriots with dirt-cheap labor.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12841
12844 12846
Are the lovebirds still in bed, in game time?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12842
12843
>>12839
The Trumpaladin way of resolving this would be to go to a money lender (don't tell me they don't exist - they absolutely existed in the town when the Jews were there, and the necessity for them just increased when the Town burned down) and take out a loan using a building or building he owns as collateral

Or am I barred from that too? I explicitly said he was using debt to finance construction
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12843
>>12842
Well, the jews were the money lenders,... but I did say ask Ben.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12844
>>12841
Nah, Trump is standing proud in his boxers looking out the window at the docks wondering WTF is going on, and which one of the idiots is responsible, while trying to figure out how to scoop up Slovenia
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12845
12848
Incidentally, I'm figuring that in the same sense that Trump probably owns over 100 cars irl, that Trumpaladin can have multiple mounts. He can only CALL one at a time though.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12846
12850
>>12841
When Trumpaladin wakes up, within a few minutes he tries to have sex with Tracy again. Much of the deep romance from last night is gone, and he exudes a sensation of anger and irritation - a sensation that was present the night before but was easier to ignore. He lies her on her stomach across the bed and facing away from her for this. After this, he sits up in the bed and stares angrily at a plant in a vase across the room for like an hour. If he feels soft pony fur rubbing against him, or if Tracy has and uses points in adorable, he relents and pays attention to her. Then he showers and gets dressed to go back out into town.

Should Tracy try to leave at any time, Trump says "don't go, I want you to accompany me today"
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12847
12848 12849
>>12833
The hills are alive,
With the sound of
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>12834
>implying we can't use them as archers
>>12835
I think Torc is Chaotic good
Does this make sence with how I've paayed him?
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12848
12849
>>12847
I thought Tourcil was Neutral Neutral
>>12847
Oh we're using them alright. We're using every resource we can muster
>>12845
Hell yeah!
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12849
12850 12854 12859 13255
>>12848
>>12847
Torc's latest is pure Chaotic Good, though that still falls into the spectrum of Neut Good, Neut, or Chao Neut. the only reason I even have to consider it is for aligned weapons which hasn't yet come up for him. Trump however has had it come up more times than I recall, and I've based it off Trump Good. Holy shit, I'm making a new alignment. Trump Good.
Not Tracy
hkela
?
No.12850
12851 12852 12854
>>12846
>Should Tracy try to leave at any time, Trump says "don't go, I want you to accompany me today"
[reeeing nerd noises!]
>>12849
I quite honestly figure out how to play Tracy's alignment
Not Tracy
hkela
?
No.12851
12852
>>12850
can't figure out*
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12852
>>12851
>>12850
So far, Tracy is Chaotic Neutral.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12853
12854 12859
poli.png

IOoaI
?
No.12854
12855 12856
>>12850
>Doesn't want to accompany Trump to the bank as he tries to take out a mortage
When do you want her to leave? It makes sense that Trumpaladin is possessive of him in a way he never was before after the pirates indicate they want to take her. But if you really want to go get captured...
>>12853
Fucking kek
>>12849
Trumpaladin never strays from the path
\r
Not Tracy
hkela
?
No.12855
12857 12862
>>12854
I, personally, wanted her to slip out and investigate the town where the sorcerer lives (I can't really make very much progress otherwise), and maybe kill some shit. But she'll absolutely stay if you asked her to.
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12856
12858 12859
4621.jpg
>>12854

IOoaI
?
No.12857
>>12855
You can have her slip out while he's sleeping, and he wakes up alone. It would have consequences for my flowcharts, but it really wouldn't be out of the ordinary or outside of expectations
\r
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12858
>>12856
Beautiful
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12859
>>12849
I'll play Torc as Chao Neut
I mean, he does follow a chaos/meme god
>>12853
>>12856

Kek
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12860
12861
K, so Tracy and Trump both saw the flashes from the dock, and are in a ahem position to react at the same time it occurs, if Trumps immediate response would be to ask her to stay given the chance.

Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12861
12862 12863
>>12860
Trump's immediate response would be to say that someone on some loading crew fucked up, and that whatever the flashes were they were less interesting than sleep.

He wouldn't ask Tracy to stay that night, he'd rather see what she does on her own
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12862
12864
>>12861
Kek
>>12855
Alright, Tracy would then leave uninterrupted.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12863
12864
>>12861
Yeah, but I also have to stay in character and take the option that she stayed beside the Paladin the whole night.
Anonymous
hkela
?
No.12864
12865 12866 12867 12872
>>12863
>>12862
Fug it! She decided to not bother her husband with his business and instead decided to go for a trot and investigate the road to the Sorcerer's town.
*fast travel*
On the way, she stops by the shop in Pit, and listens closely by the door in stealth (all detection-related checks to sense what's going on inside before entering). Before doing so, she equips the mask to disguise herself as a halfling.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12865
12869
>>12864
At what point in the morning does she leave and how does she do it?
Anonymous
KJfGq
?
No.12866
12869
>>12864
Its night-time. The whole village is asleep.
Anonymous
IOoaI
?
No.12867
12869
>>12864
Okay seriously, when does she leave relative to Trumpaladin? Muh flowcharts
Anonymous
isBcC
?
No.12868
12870
I'll be ready to play in about an hour