The last thread got stale, so I baked anew. This bread is filled with nuts, so it might aggravate allergies or bother anons with sensitive teeth.
Seriously though this is an RP thread; you've been warned.
826 replies and 200 files omitted.
>>10710Noted. Also, you're good you. That was fast.
As for the leadership bit, she meant it. There IS a difference between leading and dictating however. Part of Thez' success with the ne'ers was because she wasn't TELLING them to fight, she was in the ring fighting WITH them.
"And 'cuz I paid for their whores!"
>>10711 →A noble vengeance that stays true to the clerical domain. Romantic, and suitable for a Chaotic good character.
I like it.
>>10712Then those who are not interested in following Gridiron, in fighting for the Right, or in protecting Port Barry can leave and returned to their charred homes. No matter. Only those who are motivated are fit in any event. Trumpaladin follows the holy way, the way of Good and Football and America. He calls upon all to follow him. Some will be fit for this quest, and some will not. But for those who are, they shall be organized into the Church Militant
Trumpaladin will also be offering nose jobs and legal name changes to relevant members of the upper classes. He needs all the resources available. Even bankers, lawyers, and business executives. Perhaps especially them
Tracy is still spelunking in an undisclosed location, looking for a good lair.
>>10715I get what you are saying, and I like/agree. I was being a bit catty, in the interest of presentation and measure, please pay that no mind.
Trump has full reign to do as he suggests, but he notices that every time he means to say "Follow", he curiously says "Join".
Also Infernius, "You goof", don't worry. I've already thought of 3 loopholes. ^_!
So if i've read right
>soros fight
>we do damage
>he flees
Also, Hi
>>10720Thats an exceptionally abbreviated version, but yeah for the most part.
WAIT
HOLD THE FUCK UP
TRACY IS PREGNENT?
Tracy found her cave, and is explaining to the ants how she wants it excavated.
>>10719Are you referring to the consequences of a Cleric race-mixing with an infernal monk of opposite alignment? (high-impact sexual tragedy, anyone?)>>10720>*yanks fork out of haggis*Welcome to the bread.>>10723I hadn't even thought of that, I was referring to the terms of the seal against outsiders. I WILL think about that though.
She has me looking up images of Ironwill now, for posterity and shit >>10722This false positive shall be dealt with in its proper time
>>10725Is it wrong that I found that pic arousing? Should I even be saying this? Does it even matter anymore? smh self-depricatingly
>>10727>>10725I can't find it, but wasn't there an agreement that everything thay happened to Tracy would become board canon?
Trump, be happy for your goddamn waifu. I will go down with this ship >>10718I'm guessing your referring most to the mention of incorporation of people with specialized knowledge into the town school, and perhaps also the mandatory education of the youth. This I guess, may have to wait until the USFL has almost soveriegn power. As for the conscription of the veterans into the Church Militant, I can't imagine they'd be unwilling very often, at least where they don't have other things going on in their lives they need to attend to, and even that is allowed for under Trump's plan
>>10729You leave me no choice. Read this
>>10678 → >>10729Don't worry, I slipped it into one of the Tea times. It was dismissed as Fake News, but its still on record.
>>10730I'm saying people don't respond as well to 'compulsory' or 'mandatory'. Consider a "You'll get what you want if..." strategy perhaps?
>>10729Thanks. I still ship you with Trollestia.GM, you still haven't given Trollestia's judgement of Torq's rare Pepe collection.
Also, was I right to guess that her clerical domain was Trickery aka Trolling?
>>10733In order to judge, I'd/she'd have to see it. How does it rate compared to the Mlpol pepe collection?
infernuis try and find a hairstylist to help ifernuis change look.
>pic related
>>10694 →i will help you on your quest to frm the teutonic order.
>>10732When Pearl Harbor was bombed, people came in droves to sign up for the army. And almost no one was actually present for that. And now Port Barry has had its own Pearl Harbor
>"You'll get what you want if…"You want to serve God, King, and Country. Err... Football and Port Barry. It's the same motivation that caused people to give up their established lives to liberate Jerusalem. It's the same motivation as lead so many people to charge into steel and lead and danger in so many thousands of wars. Trumpaladin is interested in Patriots, and Patriots alone. He shall find them
Don't worry, he gives a rousing speech first
>>10738That sounds about right. Its kind of a splitting hairs point, but your proposal sounded a bit like you were telling people what to do, rather than giving them the means to accomplish what they already wanted to do.
>>10735top fukkin kek
>>10735Nice try, you red-haired mutant!
>>10740gm have problem with new look?
>>10743me cant change true hair color me know, me in mourning.
>>10744No
"Its actually quite dashing!"
sigh
>>10746"We're starting a Military Order. Crusaders for Truth and Good and Football. I'm modelling them on the old Teutonic Knights, the founders of Old Prussia. It seemed like precisely the sort of thing you might be interested in. I was wondering if you would put forth the time to teach them combat skills, and teach them of what they'll be up against. Who knows, they may be willing to learn about Rockwell and the Jews"
>>10748me would be honored but me get to come up with name.
>>10749"Well, it
is unnamed. Just so long as I can veto excessively offensive suggestions"
\r
>>10755The item bypasses any requisite proficiency,... I was just bantzing, cuz I didn't say everything I was 'supposed' to in the moment
>>10743By the way, you may notice at some point that there is a pale-green, semi-transluscent compound bow following you around.
>>10756I'm assuming that that means Torc doesnt require past experince?
>>10754What exactly are the tarot cards for? More jewelry?
>does not know what a tarot card is >>10759Yep
"And it also makes for a wicked sled!"
>>10758Wait, wat? Is that a weapon?
>>10763It was discretely put in play, but yes. Its a composite longbow, and it floats of its own accord. There's an arrow attached by a thin strand of rope, but it floats along and follows you. There's a shadowy essence that seems attached to it.
Did any of those infernal leave any weapons behind when they vanished?
>>10765Nope, their equipment and trappings vanished with them. No swag, sorry
>>10767No, it maintains its distance
>>10764>non-edged, ranged weaponI'll have to do some character gymnastics to get her to even touch it...
Can it be concealed?
>>10767You could use it all you want if you were on her back. >>10768Distance from Tracy. Can I get close enough
>>10769kek. Probably not (concealment)
>>10770>distanceDepends on environment, but its usually no less than 60' if allowed, and its deliberately moving to avoid both scrutiny and notoriety.
"His name is Bob! Balthazar Ozymandius Bestimus!"
You be quiet.
>>10775Don't worry, he's good at that, I only thought I'd mention so I don't have to roll for spot checks every so often
>>10776Look on my works, ye mighty?
>>10777She's not a Paladin.*teleports behind you (literally: she jumped planes) and hugs your back affectionately*
*hums* "~Hhhmmm, hello, ~Flashy."
>>10779You named him Balthazar Ozymandius Bestimus. Balthazar is a real name and I'm not sure if it's a reference to something, but Balthazar was the name of a character (the poison seller?) in Romeo and Juliet, and I think of the traitor in the Battlestar Galactica remake series. Ozymandias, an alternative name for Pharaoh Ramses II of Egypt, is the name of Percy Shelly's famous poem. It includes the lines "My name is Ozymandius. King of Kings. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair"
>>10780"Gah!"
>>10780*became momentarily ethereal
>>10782[affectionate hoers noises]
>>10782You're correct, but Balthazar is also one of the 3 wise men in the nativity legend. Bestimus was a bit of a phone-in, so that (WAAAAY earlier) he could
call himself "The Best Man". Its part of Thez' history.
>>10781Not talk, but he can thump the bowstring. One means yes, two means no, and "Swift defeat to mine enemies" means something is up (cuz he's shooting at something).
>>10785Trumpaladin makes a mental note of why he had marked down "jump scare" in his journal entry for the blue one
>>10757of course trump and i have founded a pantheon remember.
>>10782ozzymanas is bad guy in movie me see once.
>>10788"Um... hi?" Trump says scared
"I see the parts of the machines that were missing have turned up"
>>10790Ozymandius was also a historical king noted for his fairness and rigid adherence to common law.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away
This is the second set of Making Port Barry Great Again. Whereas most of what was said in the previous post involved Trumpaladin’s independent Football League/religious organization, this will mostly involve the civilian government of Port Barry. These changes will be very expensive, and could not possibly be expected to be completed even halfway by the conclusion of the three week period. They will be financed as logic dictates by the party’s finances, by the public treasury, by private investment, or by sheer borrowing where there is no other money available.
Trumpaladin shall have to look for anyone who could find the missing Jew gold AND could be relied upon to hand it over to the city treasury.
>If only there were a level 15 rogue who could find the missing Jew gold and then actually return it to the city
A man can dream, a man can dream
First, the town declares a corvée to clean up the streets and other mess from the destruction wrought by the demon attack. (not rebuilding, just cleaning up). Then, begins an assessment by adjustors and surveyors of the damage to the city. They shall determine the extent of the damage, and what areas should be destroyed altogether.
Second, retrieve all books on engineering, architexture, and city planning from the Trump Tower library, and begin planning the reconstruction of the relevant sections. Private property will be seized by the city via eminent domain. The exact specifications of the reconstruction shall have to wait for a report on the damage to the city, but in general, Trump would like to see the following changes
First, a street pattern that is arranged in a grid pattern rather than at random, In the alternative, streets radiate out from a central point Parisian style, the center point being either a plaza or a public building. But the big changes are these
A grand new city hall to be the center of city government, unless of course the existing one is sufficient for this purpose, and is sufficiently undamaged (paid for by the public)
A tower to use as the headquarters of the United States Football League. Obviously the Church needs its Vatican (party funded)
A new Diamond exchange. This will involve the relevant jeweler and the jewel industry in Port Barry that Thez helped set up (private funder)
A new tower hotel (Trump?)
Upscale Housing (Trump/borrowed money. It will pay for itself
A new shopping complex
A church for Inferius’s religion
>The brother survived unscathed somehow
It shall be burned to the ground. Tracy is welcome to help, but it’s coming down one way or another. It shall be replaced with the Port Barry Courthouse.
As mentioned in the previous section, the monestary and the raining grounds, like the stadium, are to the north of the city outside the walls. It seems that it will be wise to expand the walls up North to enclose this new section. Trumpaladin loves building walls, so this should be fun. The new enclosed area should include space for a few farms and probably also low income housing.
I believe a citadel should be built, should another assault fall upon Port Barry
As for rebuilding industry, the following things should occur. Please note that they would be financed by private funds and contracts, foreign investment, or borrowing with the expectation of future returns
Expand the already yuge forge to include a full-scale rolling mill and blast furnace. Build a warehouse as well, if there isn’t already one
Build an Armory, probably as an expansion of what exists already at the forge
Build a tannery
Build a textile mile
Build a paper mill
Build a printing press
Build a shipyard, or expand the existing one
These will be built near the water, preferably by the harbor, and to the west of the city (or perhaps the east) outside of the walls if necessary
Of course, three large ocean going vessels should be purchased, commissioned, or commandeered, for the Mendicant Order. These shall spread the word of Football across all continents and to all corners of the world
Naturally, Trumpaladin will give a speech, probably several, to the citizenry. He will speak of the fighting against the evil forces of globalism and Soccer that tried to attack the town, and that really were lurking and waiting to attack for just the right time, seizing upon an opportunity when the group was away. But thanks to the brave men and wo men of the Port Barry defense force, casualties were minimized. Thanks to the power of Football and the devotion of the party, they were able to distract the demons from the city, then fight through them, slaying hordes of them, killing the lieutenants, and leading right into Soros, the one armed-bastard. Thez, having seen the light of Football, placed a permanent travel ban on all outsiders except spooky horse apparently, and in the process, deported herself. Now Trump asks all citizens of Port Barry to display the same devotion and willingness to sacrifice in rebuilding the city, and in helping to spread the word of Football, which delivered the city from evil. He also tells them to be on the look out for Soccer – that most evil of “sports” – as it is a demonic plot, existing to pervert national love. He tells them of his plans for Port Barry and for the USFL, and asks them to join, He tells of the Football powered miracle of the resurrection booth, and how he is using it to revive casualties
>>10794Only if I get to stick a sword in some stone
>>10794>burn the brothel"YOU SHALL DO NO SUCH THING! Oooooh, this motherfucker! You're lucky that me escaping means that Soros escapes! Wait a second,...."
A disembodied purple fist appears in the air above Trump and <WHONK> he has another lump on his head.
"It was business."
>>10795Is that a metaphor, or am I not following?
>Is reading Guardian Paramount abilitiesFug! She's indestructible. It's great to play a class that can defend other characters too.
Can Tracy also get a good armor upgrade somewhere? She has good reason to protect her body now. Maybe some of those gold-steel plates?
>>10791>Paladin not being immune to fear*is still nuzzling you*
"~Hmmmh..! Oh, yes, it seems the pirates who looted them fled when the infernals attacked and left their treasure behind. I picked the parts up while I was looking for infernal weapons.. ~hhmm." Tracy says nonchalantly, clearly glad to see you.
>>10796>metaphor,He's based on Merlin, remember?
>>10797Quite literally, Lenos is the only person who's ever forged anything out of golded steel. Its a sound idea though.
>>10798I was just checking, I first thought it was a vaguely lewd joke is all.
>>10796I see the travel ban was only partly successful.
"TRACY! Want to burn something? Like a large building?"
>>10795So long as that isn't code for sex with Trollestoa, then sure
>>10797"I know you're lying"
>>10801"Ooooh, this,... okay fine, if thats how he wants to play it."
No violation of the travel ban has occurred, since no one has traveled anywhere and no goods or information was exchanged. I will suggest that you should probably leave the brothel alone.
[2d20 = 29]>>10801Bluff (dispel suspicions) + Perform (acting: appear extra innocent)
"~Hhhmmm.. Now why would I lie to you about that, ~Flashy?"
>burn[inquisitive hoers noises]
You do realize this'll bring her closer to the Chaotic Path, right? >>10805Per those rolls, Trump is unable to detect any duplicity. She seems to be telling the truth.
>>10805Y spoiler tho? Just asking
>>10807Left the spoiler on from the jumpscare in
>>10780Also, did any of those golem cores have user-viable parts? Could they be fashioned to craft a magical weapon?
>>10808>magical craftingAnd little else. Some of those sprockets, gears, and shafts are pure mythril, adamantite, and a variety of alloys. Aside from being literally gold-plated, those robots are crafting GOLD.