That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.
This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.
Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?
Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.
Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.
Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1269 replies and 68 files omitted.
>>62601Uh, is the same said about the wizard in the cart?
>>62602It has been noted, but the developing fight is more time sensitive. What Trump is doing is one of those moments you don't rush.
>>62603And the sleeping dragon-brownie, now that you mention it.
>>62601*angles my self so i land on my legs*
>>62601*Designates Kiynen as Dodge Target, just to be safe*Tracy trots towards the dragon, seemingly oblivious to the danger
*activates mask to remove disguise*
"Killy!"
>>62606Disguise, yes. Invisibility, no.
ROOOOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Kiynen lifts off with a few swooping flaps of her wings, angled toward the cart like a slow-moving freight-helicopter.
>>62603"Psst, NEET! Cancel the spell."
>>62607"Uh, Kiynen? It's me, Torcuil. How are you?"
>>62609Cuz he's
not still surrounded by undead? Who are now VERY aware of his presence?
*snorts awake smelling his lady* is that? It is
>>62611I don't like this, I don't like it one bit.
>Realizes my only good spell for taking on undead is lvl 0Yep, this won't end well
>>62612He would recognize the sound of the roar as well, but yes he's awake and he has a small degree of comprehension of the situation. He detects the smell of a multitude of rot, as well as Kiynen, 2 signatures that smell like Kiynen, Thez, and another he can't identify.
"Killy!" Tracy shouts, aloud
>>62614*looks around curiosly before jumping as high as he can and hitting his button to turn into a dragon himself*
>>62617>moar zombie attention>>62618>moar general attention>>62605Infernius falls amidst literally pissed-on reptilians. He and about 5 others in the immediate combat block are prone.
>>62620Tracy whips out her chain, ready to stab at any zombies
>>62620Torc wonders if he could even find a way to somehow draw attention to the three
"Well why don't I just cast dancing lights if we wanna be seen"
>>62621And walks closer towards Kiynen.
She unhooks the cart.
>>62624I don't know what you were trying...
[5d20 = 51]>>62624Infernius is swarmed from all around. The medium sized (comparatively) ones adjacent and prone execute a grapple while the Blue ones move to flanking positions.
>>62621Bet you wish you had a Paladin right about now
>>62627Tracy could probably just tumble through them.
Torc would die tho.
>>62626Umm.. Is that within Tracy's reach?
>>62626F
>>62622Torc decides fuck it, might as well get out of reach.
He grabs Snek, turning him back to a staff, and casts fly to hover above the undead.
>>62629Not immediately no, unless Tracy wanted to attempt a near-impossible acrobatic-tumbling move.
Or just use her shoes and dart over to just above the zombie heads.
>>62631And as though on cue
https://youtu.be/bfazhyIe6mQ the reptile that did land a grapple explodes, preempted only by a <whoooof> sound. As bits disperse in a wave, <whooooof> another sound of physical destruction ruptures just behind Infernius.
[1d20+25 = 31]>>62632Tracy just continues towards Kiynen
Rolling to tumble over/through zombies in the way.
>>62632Is standing up a free action?
[1d20 = 4]>>62634A move action
<whoooooof>"And you never do anything simply, OH no!"
>grapple >>62638<whooooof>"Well you picked a fine...."
<whooof>.....
<whoooof>"Time to show back...."
<whoooof>.....
<whoooof>"UP!"
From other perspectives, Thez is a veritable quantum-physical blur, cutting/driving through swaths of zombies, disappearing for moments to return in a decisive and lethal position. The ground inside the city, at least around Tracy, Torcuil, and Infernius' inbound (by free-fall, since that's what he wanted) is quickly cleared because they are/were weak zombies and there are still more just not immediately.
>>62639Tracy turns her head
"Thez! Good to see you.. I have six gorillion questions."
[3d20 = 37]>>62639>>62640Thez, who despite maintaining her delightful figure and form is still obviously at least a decade older, has sore and angry eyes, before <whoooof> .... <whooof> "And you,"
>Grapple attack, trip attack, stunning fist attack >ready move, maintain grapple
>>62643Are you saying it's her turn
Tracy flails uselessly, not bothering to resist, but still protesting.
"I'm
glad to see you too!" she spits
Kiynen however, has successfully scooped up the wagon containing Torcuil and (more important to her) Lenos, and is lumbering her way back to a raised building that is not entirely destroyed.
>>62644"Tch."
>>62645No, Thez literally hit Tracy 3 times there. Not rolling damage because she wasn't doing it do inflict damage, just the effect desired.
>>62648
you are right im the retard it seems
>>62647[angry pony noises]
".. You look.. different..." Tracy says trailing off, her eyes growing agitated once more
What ultimately happened, and what shall now be detailed through a lengthy dialogue which I had hoped would occur over the course of the next week is that this Thez and the current party would be reunited in a manner of speaking, the former using her abilities to a degree which (tbh, she's always had but has been downplayed) hasn't been seen, the current party getting a view of a desolate but curiously inspired segment of activity in the ruins of Durpistan.
'Reeee where are my angels?!' once again echoes through Tracy's mind
Leading the present and current party - which she immediately notices the obvious absence of Trump and Fae - and after the to be detailed dialogue, Thez will end up leading Infernius, Torcuil, Tracy, Snek, and maybe Stix? into the Durpistan sewer system.
>>62653Stix was carried along with Trump
>>62651Don't forget Stix, Trumpaladin, and Fae are investigating the city
>>62653Are we done for the night?
>>62656My bad, I wasn't sure.
"
WhO DareS?" whisper/echoes across the finally and blessedly still field of Football.
>>62657Oh no, I just downed a 24oz energy drink, and I have one on reserve.
>>62659Thats what i love to hear, grabs coca cola
>>62659'kay. Awaiting wall of text
[grumbles quietly about unfriendly reunion]
>>62658"It is I, The Paladin of Trump, along with Stix and my mount Fae. I am the former proprietor of this location. These were my men - great men they were. We have come to investigate this hellish future"
Eerie spikes still dot the field, themselves mirroring the field positions of actual Football players in a grotesque pantomime, the whole thing a disgusting mockery of Football, a chillness beyond atmospheric conditions blows over the field, the air immediately turning into a vaporous fog.
"S...S...Gay marriage...."
>Gay marriage Gay marriage Gay marriage
echoes continuously around Trump, Stix, and Fae.
>>62663Trumpaladin looks out to the heavens, and utters a prayer in thanks to the god known as "Pupperwoff."
He says to the voice:
"You have no power here on these consecrated and holy grounds!"
\r
>>62665"
WhaaT Is ThiiiiiiS" the voice whispers over the field.
"
This was once a field of the Truncated Icosahedron. But clearly to speak of it directly has been infringed. Gay marriage is forbidden.
HOW IS THIS SO> Who are YOU"
>mfw Sam and Bunny are either dead or all grown-up
>Tracy only got to spend a month with them
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>62666"I am he who fights for and spreads Football! I seek to bring an end to all such blasphemy. I see you have stumbled upon a pact I made with a god of the game world.
I am a servant of Elway, and a spreader of righteousness. You attempt to speak blasphemy. Now, repent!"
Theres a certain sport, pertaining to the truncated icosahedron, that the literal use of the word will result in the term Gay marriage being posted, on /vx/ if not the board as a whole. As such, and I'm kekking my ass off typing this, Tracy will have to build a cult dedicated to Gay marriage, and attempt to get Gay marriage to rival Football, which can never be. Have you heard? You might think that the Bird is the word, but you'd be wrong. Dead Wrong.
The word is a name, and that name is John Elway. And do you think John Elway will permit Gay marriage to rival Football?
>>62668“Something tells me this... whatever it is, won’t repent.”
Stix readies his bow
[1d20 = 10]>>62668"
ElwaY, Foootbaaaaalll," the voice whispers.
"[o}TherE Is nO FootbalL HerE!" is shouted from Trump's right. "ElwaY Has beeN BanisheD!"
A hissing sound fills the air as the opportunistic attack was totally ineffective
>>62669So much this
"Spirit, if ye be of the devilish ball, then I shall have to banish you to the place where all of you damned hippies infesting Denver keep going from - San Fransisco. Which is almost as bad as Seattle, which where the Seahawks come from. Which is worse than the inside of the belly button of a particularly obese woman standing in line in front of you at walmart taking too damn long to use her cupons. Like damn it, just pay for the damn prego sauce! It's a few cents at most! Any ways, you'd best renounce your devil ball or I shall show you the light and truth of Elway more forcibly!"
>>62671"YOU LIE! Elway may never be bannished!"
>>62670whispers"Do you think it's possible they sealed off Football from this dimension the way Soros had been sealed off?"
Trumpaladin is worried
>>62673So glorious is his face
The mist swirls around Trump, Stix, and Fae, whispering: "
Oh yeS, ThiS WorlD Has beeN CleanseD of FootbalL. As iT ShoulD bE."
So, what does Thez say?
I'm getting ready to pass out...
>>62675"You can never banish Football from the hearts of Americans you globalist Demon!"
Trumpaladin holds Vanderiem almost like a Baseball bat ready to swing, which comes from another important American sport, specifically extracting gambling debts from working class men who borrowed from the Mafia by breaking their legs - an American tradition that came from Sicily originally
>>62674“But Football is all... and who is Soros again?”
>>62675“Looks like you missed a spot fiend.”
>>62669Wait, I'm confused now.
Am I supposed to do something?
>>62676Upon arriving at a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-esque, Subway hideout, passing several gates and traps that require abstract thinking and which immediately murder stupid reactions. She leads the procession in silence, the whole time the group is flanked by 2 shadows, darting and flowing along the surrounding environment.
>>62678"It's quite a history lesson and I think we have a pressing matter on our hands. Expect hostile fiends"
>>62679Nah, GM just found the word filter and is reveling in how damn funny it is
>>62680Tracy follows suit, abandoning Torc and Lenos to Killy.
>>62684As soon as he he tries to reach out in any way, and he so would at any opportunity, she slaps his hand away angrily. Think Fiona in Shrek, is it 3 or 4? The one where Shrek didn't exist.
>>62685*Feels sad for not having a lady to nuzzle anymore*
>>62686Shrek 4
>>62687Wait im confused i thought infernious was getting his hands slapped not lenos
>>62686*begrudgingly accepts no ass grabbing for now*
>>62688It's Infernius.
Lenos still has to answer to Kiynen.
>>62691She's probably gonna wanna' know why he didn't answer any of her texts...
>>62691Good luck, we'll both need it.
"What's the meaning of this?" Stopping finally, she spins on the group. She's still wearing something of a fighting outfit, but its in horrible disrepair and alot of its materials are patch-work. Beyond that she looks more in her late 20's than the previous presentation of Thez the party has known. She has, I should mention, only grown 2", now to 4'4".
>>62694"I could ask you the same thing." Tracy barks back, gritting her teeth
"Just what the fuck happened to this place?"
>>62695Her face betrays the realization that a lot of time has in fact passed
"Or rather, what the fuck happened to us...?" she trails off, her tone fading
>>62695"This place? What the fuck happened to YOU?! How long has it been? 10 years? 20?" Outrage, clearly visible, glancing at Infernius all the while, gauging his reactions most specifically.
>>62697"Me dont really understand whats going on, one minute me was surrounded by bodies, then the next me was with friends and me was happy to see them, but then me realized most important person to me wasn't there. So me came to find you."
>>62699Is broken but
>>62700 still says without batting an eye.
>>62699>>62701"Me so happy to see you!"
*hugs more refined ana*
>>62699>a 20Trumpaladin, away from the demon-elf, takes his chances with the heathen-wind
>>62699F U G
U
G
I didn't even know you could sunder arms...