That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.
This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.
Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?
Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.
Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.
Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1269 replies and 71 files omitted.
>>62396>Grove called Bohemian~Spooky.
Tracy takes down and inspects the Wanted posters.
*grumbles to self* what did that she demon monk do now
>>62396Torc inspects the posters while Snek checks the map some more
>>62396Well, I guess Trumpaladin - when he finally mosey's up to the sign to examine it, sees the name "Dubai" and figures it's the only thing he recognizes, and then begins to walk towards "Dubai" as indicated by the map, with Fae
*begins studying thw map to see id he recegnizes any land marks
>>62396"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.. unless we are; I've never been.." Tracy says, tripping over hoo-man euphemisms as she flips through the posters in her hands.
>>62404The only recognizable location is the Durpistan Ruins, which is listed as off limits to the west.
>>62402As for the posters there are a number of them, most of which are irrelevant. What are however is that there's one for each of you, with a pretty good likeness for each. The last known location is unknown. Next to yours is one for Thez, and one for Kiynen as well, with the last known location being Durpistan.
*grumbles about the small price on the wanted poster for himself* Trump we should head for durpistan ruins and see id we can track down the damn monk
>>62407"With how exotic these surroundings are, I think you are being very optomistic if you think we can find her from Durpistan. I think it may do us well to go to a populated location - to figure out where we are and what is going on."
\r
>>62406>Durpistan Ruins"Hmmm.. I meant to give killy a visit.."
>one for Kiynen"Wait, Killy's on the lamb? Why?"
*realizes they left her in Durpistan alone atop a mountain of corpses*
"..Oh..."
Tracy folds the remaining wanted posters and puts them in her pocket.
She takes out her bag of dust.
"Alright, everyone line up for random comical disguises."
Gm does the wamted poster of lenos show his dragon form?
>>62409"I have no desire to see that dragon ever again"
Trumpaladin says
If i remember correctly there was a mine with lots of gems in durpistan. We need money to start tracking down the monk
>>62410No
>>62412The mine is listed with several strangely named encampments of sorts surrounding it.
>>62406How does Trumpaladin look in his poster? Is his hair charming? Does his armor shimmer under the light? Does he have a smug expression on his face?
>>62412"We couldn't get that mine to work when we were there. The first order of business should be 'what the hell is going on.' I think we have some money. Not a lot, but some. So we should find living people and ask them"
>>62409"I don't recognize this place.. but I know Durpistan. If Killy's in trouble, it's us who put her there.." Tracy says, with a ghost of guilt in her tone
>>62413"Wait, I don't recognize these.." Tracy says, narrowing her eyes
>>62414"Infernius pulled an entire cart's worth of gems out of there in one day. It's definitely a hotbed.
Besides, I don't recognize any of these other places...." she goes on, with a hint of discomfort
"And weren't we just about to get gang-raped by corpses five minutes ago?! What the fuck just happened to us?!"
>>62414The monks last known location was durpistan we should see if there is any sign of her there. Then she can explain what the fuck is going on.
Infernius can you sense her?
>>62416Infernius isn't with them.
Thez was in Cardishil, last we knew.
>>62415>If Killy's in trouble, it's us who put her there.."Good. Fuck her."
>>62415>"And weren't we just about to get gang-raped by corpses five minutes ago?! What the fuck just happened to us?!""Never forget that we are gladitorial combatants sponsored by wealthy patrons. Remember that Johnny Cash poofed us away to a strange location. There is no reason to think they can't do the same again."
>>62416"I think you are reading that wrong. I think that means that Kiynen's last known location was Durpistan. Thez either stayed in Cardishore or was poofed elsewhere. What do you hope to get out of a ghost town? We need to go toward civilization"
\r
>>62417No, Infernius is there now with Tracy and Trump and co.
Trumpaladin looks up to the sky, dark and grey, or an erie blue as it may be. He cries out:
"Gilanna de Fatima, House of Thez! I summon thee! Your Infernius misses you... I am sure!"
Trumpaladin looks up for a moment, then looks down. "Damn it. Maybe I should tie Tracy's forelegs up and suspend her from a tree. That summoned her across dimensions last time"
*shrugs shoulders* you do what you feel is best im heading to durpistan to look around and get my bearings for whatever comes next. Plus i wouldnt mind seeing my lady again.
Also one should note that where the party is accoring to the map is where Cardashil should be.
>>62422kek
>>62419>What do you hope to get out of a ghost town?"I don't recognize any other place on this map. I say go to the commie den and work our way around from there."
"Besides, if Killy got herself into trouble, I wanna' see what happened there."
Tracy rips up the signs by the root and throws any useful pieces in her bag for future reference.
>>62424Do the Wanted posters say anything about where to collect the bounties?
>>62424So the map seems to be of the same part of the continent as they were located?
>>62425*sighs*
"Fine, whatever"
Trumpaladin looks around him, to see if the coyote is staring like a cheshire cat
>>62424>where the party is accoring to the map is where Cardashil should be"... Wait... What the hell just happened..?"
Tracy searches the maps and the wanted posters for anything that might hint to a relative date
"And where are my angels?!" she continues, her voice growing panicked
>>62426pali check
So is everyone ready to be disguised, including absent players by proxy?
>>62427"Calm down.... It's one of the Game Sponsors fucking with us"
>>62426"Do you recall a cold, barren wasteland surrounding Cardashil? I don't."
>>62430"Do you recall being summoned to a tea table in the middle of nowhere with a Coyote that you tried to threaten for some reason? Because I do. Now keep your cool, I think we will see however sent us here soon enough"
*sighs* fine ill use a discize this time
>>62406"Heh... Just like the old days..."
Snek looks a bit puzzled at the sorcerer remembering his past.
"Anyway! Now what? Where, maybe even when, are we?"
>>62433"Can you cross dimensions? Because that may be helpful"
>>62431"I don't think this is one of the foxes tea parties..."
>>62434"Is that even what happened..? Where are we?"
>>62434"Uh... I think I can make short jaunts to the ethereal plane, but nothing too big"
>>62435"I don't know. I don't know where we are or anything. That is why I wanted to go to a city that was not a ghost town. To ask questions of the locals whereby we may understand what is going on"
Stix finds himself in a wasteland.
“Hmm... this doesn’t seem right.”
Looks to Torc
“Hey, meme magician, this isn’t one of your spells is it?”
Tracy pulls her folding cart out of her bag and shoves the drooling, unresponsive bull into it. She then grows to hoers size and hooks herself to the cart.
"I say we go to Durpistan. It's the only place I recognize, and I'd like to see what's happened.. I don't recall anyone setting camp up around there.." Tracy says, with a serious look.
"Let's see what Killy got caught up in.."
>>62438"If it is one of mine, something definitely went really wrong. But I'm pretty sure I don't have this kind of power"
Torc rips off the poster for Stix and shows it to him
"But whatever it is, it sure is gonna be interesting at least."
>>62440He stares at the poster in disbelief.
“Who even has seen me outside of you guys? How did I become a criminal within the hour?”
>>62435"Well, here's what we know. We seem to have been lifted to an alternative version of the game world, or the game world in a different area, or the game world in a different time, or the entirety of the game world has been altered. Now, who has the power to do that? The Emperor, I am sure, but I don't think he would keep up wanted posters if he had done that. Perhaps there are others in the game world, but we've never seen them.
So my best guess is that we were sent somewhere, or alterations were made to the world around us, by the gods that sponsor this domain. So if we can figure out why they would have done this, perhaps we could crack this happening"
>>62439"Have you ever even been to Durpistan? What do you expect to find exactly? Burnt buildings replaced with ruined burnt buildings?"
>>62441Torc shrugs
"That's what we're gonna figure out. Snek, be useful, what's the largest looking or closest city on that map?"
Tracy throws dust at various targets.
Brace for autism:
>Lenos is now a very small version of Conan The Barbarian
>Torc is a giant mackerel in a tuxedo
>Snek a giant black and white striped centipede with a bunch of white gloves on each foot, and make-up like that of a French mime
>Fae is a large pink piggy with cute fluffy white wings
>Infernius is a blue gorilla with monster truck wheels instead of feet
>Brad is an enormous orange rooster
>Tracy is a purple-skinned gorgon (medusa type) in an acid green dress and red eyes
>Stix is a wooden puppet (think Pinocchio)
>>62445Now Stix must be carried around or else the locals may think he is possessed.
*turns towards stix and jumps back* ahhh demon stick
Tracy, having disgiused everyone, heads off on the path towards Durpistan.
>>62445"I dare say this is quite the interesting situation"
Torc flops around a bit
>"Oui oui monsieur. Hon hon hon baguette eiffel tower" >>62443"Well, clues about Killy, for one.
Besides, if we go there, we can use the roads to find out where Port Barry and everything else outta be."
>>62453Yes. What crimes are listed on my poster?
>>62456>"One sec you fish"Snek's hat of disguise turns into a beret
>"Je m'appelle faguette""Sounds about right"
>>62457Good question.
Tracy uses her floating hands to flip-through and read the posters as she walks.
>>62459For High Crimes of repeated offenses of denying the will of George Soros
>>62460Are all of the Wanted posters for that same offense?
>>62460>Soros"Um, guys.. Remember that giant old guy with the disgusting circles around his eyes.."
What about Killy's?
>>62460>>62461Does Tracy's say anything about eating him from the legs up?
>>62445Gorilla dick out for my bruddah harambe.
>>62460"REEEEEEEEEE ME SKULL FUCK SOROS TO HELL!!!"
>>62464"Nice to see you're back with, big guy." Tracy says with a mix of relief and annoyance.
>>62461Pretty much. They don't so much indicate a reward for capture/arrest, they're more of an advisement against interaction with.
*climbs up into the wagon and lays down*
wake me when we get there
*falls asleep*
>>62466>advisement against interaction withNoted.
Tracy continues down the road.
>>62468*dumps bull out of the cart, now that he's moving*
"Thez isn't here."
>>62466"So Soros is back.... That means that the Golden Lady must no longer be enforcing the Travel ban. But why would she not? Did Thez do something in violation of an agreement?"
>>62468Trumpaladin should now be expressing happiness to see Infernius again. But all he can muster is to weakly say
"Thez isn't here..."
\r
>>62470Is he asking the rest of the party, or himself?
>>62470"Well, I don't know, but last I knew there weren't any bounties in Soros's name."
She trails off
"The Port might not even exist anymore..."
>>62472"She's not here." Tracy repeats
"Now let's get a move on." She says impatiently, her tone betraying a slight anxiety
>>62473"No thez and no port?"
*flies off towards were port barry used to be.*
>>62471Yes
>>62472"Thez went into the Ethereal plane when we tried to come rescue you here. But we were all summoned to this land or time where George Soro's Evil is Law. And she has not been seen"
>>62473"Maybe. Maybe it exists under a different name. Either way, we gotta get back"
"uh Tracy, how long does this stuff last? I could have polymorphed me and Mr. Snek more believable disguises"
>>62475"I like how you think, but let's check the map to confirm the location"
>>62477"Two and a half hours.
You don't have to have a good disguise, you just need to look like anything but yourself."
>>62476How does Brad know The was in the Ethereal plane?
>>62480Is he going to Durpistan?
>>62482Were the port used to be.
[anxious pony noises]
Tracy bites her lower lip, as her mind rushes with thoughts of her birdies.
>>62480Infernius knows which way Thez is, meanwhile Thez snaps alert from the most curious sensation she's had in forever.
>>62483How does he know that?
Wait, can we all decide where we're going?
>>62481Tracy sees an anon filly shrugging that appears to be made of more anon fillies shrugging
>>62482He's going to where he believes Port Barry was located without checking a map
>>62486You and Infernius left off on your own
>>62485>>62485*flies towards thez then.*
>>62488Infernius turns toward Durpistan
>>62479"Yeah, but I was gonna be a gnome"
>"Sounds tasty""And I would have made Snek tiny"
>"Damn you old man" >>62489Good.
*Continues pulling cart with only Brownie in it*
>>62491*poof*
Torc now appears to be a half-gnome, half-makrel merman in a tuxedo with a conical plaid cap.
>>62488Is Infernius in full flight or is he pacing with the party?
Foghorn leghorn says to Miss Piggy and to Pinochio:
"Well, I guess they are going off to the ruins and the bitch dragon. But If we are were Cardishore out to be, and if Durpistan still exists, then surely Port Barry mst be between the two of them, north of Cardishore and south of Durpistan, right? Just a bit west of how the crow flies. We can rejoin them in Durpistan.... I just need to see my city..."
Foghorn Leghorn gets on Miss Piggy's back, helps on Pinocchio, and rides on, north and west.
>>62496Tracy shoves Torc in the folding cart and runs off after him.
>>62499Also, in her big form, she looks like a giant lamia with Medusa hair, as she pulls the cart.