>>3544>Who wants to ... ?>crickets>Here it is!
It'd be funnier if that was the case, but to be honest, I just forgot to post the URL in the first post.
You literally just made a thread about exactly this story and exactly this chapter. Why do you insist on making several threads about one singular fanfiction and then complain when we tell you to get off the stage?
Welp, since you blocked me and called me a librul, here's my reply here, shitstain.>calling liberals liberals
You've been calling the entire board liberals in every thread I've seen you in. You know, /mlpol/, the nazi horsefucker board dedicated ENTIRELY to the intersection between nationalism, weeaboo culture, and MLP? Clearly we're all liberals who just don't get your genius.>makes you a dumdum at fanfics and politics
Your reading comprehension game seems pretty off. I told you once and I'll say it again: all I'm saying is that your ego's overinflated and just because you can write things doesn't make you god's gift to literature, and you should stop making several threads about your stupid fanfictions where they aren't welcome. But because you're so high IQ from your Rick and Morty watching, you see "doesn't make you good" and took it as "makes you bad."
I see another thread on the site too. What a shock. Get off the stage.
>>3544>>3548https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WktqPi0SieY>its another "Nigel makes a masturbatory thread about his shitty fimfiction." - thread.
You know what the real sad thing is? If Nigel wasnt such a self-felating shithead spamming the board with 10 threads and was in reality capable of improvement based on criticism things could have turned out a lot different.
He could have made a big fiction thread where people could read, discuss and post about the subject, generally improving board quality and eventually becoming a site staple where people post quality selfmade literature, maybe. I am pretty sure people have suggested something like this before.
But we all know this is not reality, Nigel chose the low road. And now every shitthread he makes about himself will end up like this. Much like CWC, Nigel never actually listens. He makes threads about himself to get attention. And he will get attention. But not the kind of attention he was fishing for.
He unironically helped pay
for four hours
of Leddit time, until he was suspended.
His account was a minimum
of 19 months old before suspension.
With previously mentioned server time money as a minimum
I tire of making fun of him though, overall boring, except the Ben10 stuff, but mods are based (may spank).
You seem to have deep insider knowledge about Nigel and his exploits. Compared to you, i am barely at surface level. I strongly suggest you hold onto it until he goes off the rails again. Dont let it go to waste. I am sure third parties like kiwifarms and the likes would love to get introduced to the exceptional specimen that is Nigel.
Nigel's the guy on 4chan who has some program set up to get triggered when someone posts an image that's also on Derpybooru, so he can get triggered and call any MLP fans his program detects a "Barneyfag", yes?
I don't see why you're repeatedly trying to forge a connection between me and the alt-right. I mean, trying to forge a connection between me and some guy you don't like.
Really, what do we have in common?
I thought the whole point of anonymous discussion was that losers like captain Vril Society Flag over there can't bring their identity-politics "I believe this man is a bad bad man because x! Now I will give him a derogatory name and call his posting here a sad thing because reasons!" nonsense.
What happened to discussing ideas, instead of people?
I didn't expect a site called /mlpol/ to be so in love with SJW tactics.
Now comes the part where you say I'm "literally calling you a lurral" for calling you out on your dishonest use of SJW tactics to shut down discussion and brand me with this "Nigel" label.
Come off it. You and your backup buddies have told me how you "feel" about what you think I am and who you think I am, but you have yet to make an argument.
So how's 2015 this time of year?
To use the vernacular,>a fucking leaf
That's Mr. >LEAF
to you, shitbird.
>>3554>not knowing the 4chan terminology that British flag = Nigel>thinking that we don't like the alt-right or that we're pushing you together, when in reality you're posting in a place where everyone here is further right than you and is sick of your normie shit and would rather compare you to a nigger than their political ally>touting horseshoe theory like Sargoy of Cuckad>accusing people who rightly tell you to go back to reddit or quit shitting up the board that they're JUST LIKE THE LIBERALS SILENCING THE POOR INNOCENT MODERATE CENTRIST WHO DINDU NUFFIN RONG>after all this, after several threads, you still post about your stupid goddamn fiction, not even bothering to use the thread DEDICATED TO FANFICS AND IMPROVING YOUR WRITING>missing every single social cue you've come across since revealing yourself by your fimfic name, and yet pretending to know anything about the /pol/sphere by using the leaf meme
Just. Fucking. STOP.
I was very interested in this part.>“What is, ‘Poser’?”, She asked. “It means ‘Faker’,” He explained, and she smiled and nodded in understanding. “He was a loser who pretended to be cool. But he was terrible at pretending. So he looked very, very lame and uncool.
It's strange to me that you know this, but don't have the self-awareness to figure out that you're being one with your constant self promotion of your fanfiction here. You come across as, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say this, a self absorbed faggot who thinks he's making an observable difference in the world by beating them gosh darned SJWs in a piece of fiction, fanfiction starring your self insert as a pastel horse at that. Furthermore, you've gone and lumped Fascism in with Marxism betraying a lack of understanding the differences between ideology and governmental structures.
Since I'm pro autocratic as fuck, let me educate you, Fascism is a form of government where all powers are concentrated into one person, or group of people which are still nominally elected in some manner as opposed to Monarchism where right of rule is inherited. Marxism is an ideology which preaches communal ownership and complete lack of any kind of government, Communism. Real Communism has never at any point been achieved in the real world because it's fundamentally at odds with human nature, the closest anyone has ever come to implementing it is Socialism, which operates under similar rules, but everything is owned and operated by the state which is an evil all its own as the ruling party is typically well looked after due to their status while literally everyone else is treated as a disposable underclass, ie Stalinist Russia, or Russia at any point under 'Communism' really.
On a side note, it was unbelievably difficult to read even as much of your story as I did due to its self insert nature, it may seem good to you, but no one else is really going to enjoy reading about how you single handedly saved the world and how great your self insert is. Now, I'm going to politely ask you to stop shitting up our board with your attention whoring, no one really cares about your fanfiction and to most it seems like you're trying to employ us as your personal army to get your upvote dopamine hit, that shit's not good for you Nigel. Rise above it.
So british flag means Nigel now? Why say it like it means "Person whose opinions I don't like"?
By the way, how do flags work on this site? Do you use your real flag until your post count rises high enough, and then you get to "rise through the ranks" of fictional empires until you get to the coveted Equestrian flag? Sure, because post counts and other status symbols don't go against the point of anonymous free discussion of ideas at all.>>3563
That part was inspired by one asian person I know who starts momentarily talking like that upon encountering a word she doesn't know the meaning of. I'm not sure why you'd fixate on it in a fic where one cartoon horse beats the shit out of another and then rips off a certain scene from a show I'm guessing you haven't seen. Why mention that scene in particularly? Was it where you stopped reading? Is it an inherently posery, fakery, uncool cringey mega-lame un-self-aware naff thing to write a fanfic like this? If so, I'll keep that in mind. See, you aren't my target audience, even if you are one of those entitled cringekids. So why should I care how hard or easy reading my fic is for you, if you don't have anything intelligent to say about its content? You aren't paying me to write something "everyone" will enjoy.
Putting the amateur hour criticism of my work aside and moving on to your personal attacks, I'm not """constantly promoting""" my fanfic, but it would make for a more interesting and less irrational conflict if I was. The SJWs here are back to the "shouting buzzwords" phase, because the purple flag kid's attempt to dig through my reddit post history and find something to use against me failed. One of them decided to mention this out-of-context in another thread, hoping to start "le board drama" by getting confused people involved. God, could you kids be any more transparent in your attempt to shit at a wall and blame it on me? I think I saw a meme about that behavior from some Glimmer-fanboy raiders attacking this place a while ago.
Rise above them, "le 51% face".
>>3564>amateur hour criticism
You really don't see how pretentious it is to stage a debate about Marxism in a piece of fiction where you control both debaters and the crowd? It's tell and not show and that's what makes it bad, but if you want to just ignore the few legitimate criticisms you're getting, more power to you.>I'm not """constantly promoting""" my fanfic
Perhaps not, but you have made a number of threads about it and your fimfiction page, and every time, someone has told you to fuck off. If you don't care that you're not writing for every demographic, then you must realise that no one here is among your target demographic. At the very least you'd post your shit in an existing thread, but your ego seems to be inflated to such a degree that you believe it deserves its own special thread everytime
you choose to post about it. That's actually what bothers people the most, all the threads are just about you specifically, if you changed the format to a thread about fanfiction in general and then plugged your own in it to get things started, you'd get a few people calling you out for the self plug, but at least there'd be a wider topic up for discussion.
Also you must be new here, it's because Nigel is a very British name, if they were trying to insult you properly, they'd be calling you Mohammad because England has been turned into Britbongistan.
First time I've heard that particular name. I'll stick with Bongistan, I think.>>3564
Nigel, I'm not going to argue for or against you or your fanfiction. Frankly, I like to keep politics as far away from everything else as I can, and that includes fanfiction, so I don't think I'll read it. Instead I'm going to explain in no uncertain terms why everyone keeps shitting on you. What you do with this knowledge is up to you.
Nobody really cares. That's the entire reason you keep seeing "Es Jay Double-Us" telling you to fuck off. Nobody cares, and yet you keep making new threads for every update on the fanfiction very few people here are going to read and taking up space on the front page. If there's anything you should be taking from arguments like >>3565
it's that this should all at least be confined to its own thread, preferably a thread dedicated to general fanfiction and writefagging.
>>3566>>3545>I like to keep politics as far away from everything else as I can
I don't particularly favour politics in media or at large, but the real problem is found in contemporary politics and other 'contemporary' issues/struggles/events used in media.
These are ideas that are aged before even being written about. Very good way to make a piece of media age poorly, most ideologically motivated leftist directors tend to simply not consider this.
Politics in media is better given way to the timeless concepts or conflicts. They work far better as subjects.
If anything the only problem I have with this particular fimfiction-chapter
-thing- by Silver is the fact that Silver is the kind of person that thinks everyone who argues with him is a le libturd, that or he (very consistently) seeks to 'compare' the people he argues with to epic sjaydoublejoos whom he believes he b t f o-s.
. I mean just look at >>3563
He just can't -not- fuck things up and it's blatantly apparent from the way he acts, so surprise-surprise when he fucks something up.>reaches for a horseshoe tier comparison>socialism is literally right there>...>muh facism and marxism
DIE BARBIEFAG. THIS IS YOUR MINDSET!
B-b-but antifa are the real fascists! Democrats are the real racists! ^:)Squeaking in the distance grows louder with every post from nigel.
Vril I'm confused, are you calling me a barbiefag or him, where the bloody fuck did eqg enter into this?
It's supporting evidence HE
is the barbiefag! He must die for bumping into me on the street once and calling me a faggot on Fimfiction!
>>3564Good News, Nigel!
I build you a personal "What If" Machine!
Now you can see how your life turned out if you were a little bit less of a human failure, which fame, money and women!
Let me get my finger enlarger...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVX4dMpNOyQ
>>3568>Obvious SJW lets "his" mask slip
Alright Nigel, lets talk. This Fic is shit. Its full of overly used, obviously plagiarized, obviously sourced, and none-of-it-original material, themes, and ideas. Not only is it all of those things, its simply not good writing.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-mare declared, appearing behind Twilight with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
“Daga kotowaru!” The Dragon-Mare declared, appearing behind Silver with a mouth full of flames.
“Nothing personal, kid!” Silver announced, appearing behind the Dragon mare with his Spellblade out.
Quality stuff. If anyone is wondering, that is entirely unmodified. That part happens while Silver is engaged in a Naurto fight early on. There's no point to the fight, other than to attempt to establish how much of a bad-ass Silver is. Oh, this goes on while Silver is taking Twilight on a 'not date' (and yes, of course she wants him). I should also mention that the dragon mare tries to hit him with a Kamehameha, which he counters with a "Hamena Hamena". Real shit.
"No one being will be allowed to get mad at her, and nopony that gets mad will be allowed to stay mad at her, unless he or she is the bad guy in this character’s ‘Story’, either temporarily or permanently. Her backstory will make little to no sense, as if she just popped out of the blue one morning and made something up on the spot when questioned. It’s like reality is a game of Walls and Warlords, and the Dungeon Master made her own character, and gave her the coolest – and most sympathetic – backstory she could think of, plus infinite stats in everything that matters to the writer. As if the writer is doing that thing where rather than establishing things about the character, or influencing the character and his or her goals and worldviews, the backstory exists to impress potential fans. Long-lasting relationships will dissolve and romantic partners will treat each other awfully or die, all for her benefit. Miraculously powerful items will violate whatever normal cycle of inheritance they would normally have and fall right into his or her lap. Impossible abilities, impossible improvement rates, all with no justification. It’s as if this anomalous entity emits some kind of mind-altering field that forces others to react how the anomaly wants. The universe loves her, and can’t give her an adventure that doesn’t paint her in the best light possible, even if it seems unnatural, even artificial."
I'm sure there are plenty who will appreciate why I included this piece. This is the part where two of Silver Star's
Shadow Clones 'Silver Spares' are watching another 'Spare' who is having a discussion with Starlight Glimmer. And just in case you're wondering, of course he can use the 'Spares' to learn at an accellerated rate just like Naruto! And if you're wondering how such a technique exists in ponyworld, its cuz he made it! Oh, he's also a world class martial-artist. And he's got some sort of weird technological device that allows him to fly at a speed that caused Twilight to have to keep up.
And an insufferable, selfish, arrogant little ‘I am smarter than you, only I am right, only I know what is best for all, and any who seek to oppose me are wrong’ attitude. With a heaped tablespoon of ‘I am what I am and wanting me to change that is wrong’
^:) I must admit, I only got halfway. Apparently he gets invincible when he's angry; "Old Pandarian secret". He's also a billionaire. I'm sure it gets much better tho after I stopped tho.
Tl;dr "Silver Star" (the OC) has successfully out Mary-Sue'd Glimmer, with absolutely no respect for any characters in the MLP world, at a HS Freshman writing level, and (you) don't like it cuz you're an SJW leddit glimmernigger libtard.
>t. SJW leddit glimmernigger libtard
Its one thing to shill a shitty fanfiction. Its another one to not shut the fuck up about it until its done like Nigel does. But this? A self-insert OC shitfiction? This is bottom of the barrel tier sjw tumblr tier. this belongs in a deviants video. I cant wait to see the trainwreck that will be his Pokemon game. This spells disaster with every word.
After reading that little bit of analysis, I went ahead and tried to stomach the chapter for myself. I think you really undersold the shit factor, if I'm being completely honest.
Well, if nothing else, this trainwreck makes me feel so much better about the self-insert South Park fanfiction I used to write as a HS freshman myself.
Whoooooo boy, that last half of the story was something special. About ¾ of it were made up entirely of the author's self-insert monologuing about his e n l i g h t e n e d ~ anti-ess-jay-dubya, standard-issue Liberalist® 'ideas', against a completely OOC Glimmy who gets put under a 'truth' spell; or as I like to call it, the '+5 Curse of the Strawman'. Everyone surrounding him during his e u p h o r i c ~ "debate" with Glimmy was of course cheering him on, mind-controlled by Silver (with nary a hint of irony in sight) and reacting to his 'le ebin sick burns :kappa:' exactly how you'd expect them to react.
Then we get ourselves a wonderful little fight sequence after Glimmy's 'loss', where our good buddy Silver utilizes the full power of his not-Naruto superpowers to utterly obliterate her, and proceeds to laser-etch his fucking cutie mark on her forehead as his Orochimaru curse-seal, preventing her from saying a word about her "worthless and debunked Marksist ideology again" (sic) and forcing her to fix every 'evil' timeline she was in, along with aping I, Robot in the process. Personally, my favourite takeaway from the entire fight had to be his spell that "converts almost all physical damage to mental and emotional damage" (sic). Fucking poetry.
Congrats, Nigel. You've successfully made me feel completely at peace with my abysmally bad first attempts at writing when I was just starting out years ago. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for that truly edifying experience. Such noble acts won't go unrewarded in my house, so take these Barbie Glim-glams with all of my blessings. May you never improve, siha. ~♥
Here's a strange question. If I listened to the people calling this story the worst thing ever, how would I improve?
There are a fuckton of ways to improve. Hell there are hundreds, if not thousands of guides on the internet (even some on fimfiction). This website is not your personal writing improvement guide, nor is it a place to shill your work (unless you're good and unless it relates to the discussions in this board at hand) so fuck off and get better before coming back here with your shit.
The consensus is pretty clear that your self-insert Mary-sue OC (with all his sooper-ebin powurz) should be the first thing to be addressed. After that, a legitimate portrayal of FiM characters would be a step in the right direction. Low-effort cross-series references and inclusions do not increase the depth of the story/characters, it makes it more
superficial. Get ready for the next part.
Your narrations are good. They effectively invoke the images of the show, and allow the user to picture the characters in action. That's where you succeed. However, allowing the viewer to accurately visualize FiM scenarios and then
scripting those characters to act disproportionately to their established persona is counter-productive. It makes the reader (not all of course) think "This isn't MLP, this is some shitty spinoff that only vaguely resembles MLP. At least he got the names right."
I think if you stick to canon characters, or if the included OC isn't teh most awesomester Dr. Nar-Who-to Goku Firebender Masterest Sorcurrurr, then you might have something.
After reading leaf's synopsis I am absolutely apalled you would even ask such a question as "how can I improve." By using a character who has established personality traits you have trapped yourself. Do your research or make a new commie. The first thing you absolutely must learn is to actually get in the head of an SJW. Not only the what but the motivations behind it and the philosophy that leads to it. Second, if you write out a debate, you should write it from that mindset. Bonus points if you keep to the motivations that Glimmer has in-show, for added authenticity.
Of course that assumes a desire to create a story of some narrative consistency which is the bare minimum.
This advice is important for both fictional and real debates: know your enemy. If you want to convert a commie, you need to find out their reasons for being one and show them that things can and have been better under capitalism, fascism, or democratic republic. When a commie accuses a rich man of hoarding enough money to cure homelessness, tell them that economic disparity propels the working poor upward and gives jobs to the jobless, whereas forced minimum wages make people less capable of hiring. That kind of thing.
Honey, not vinegar. You get nowhere by waving your arms around declaring your opponent has abandoned lawjick like Sye Ten Bruggenkate. Anyone can make blanket statements like this without evidence and it puts the other side into a combative situation of raising their voice and making a spectacle. That may convert a few fence sitters but changing the heart of your opponent is so much harder than that.
TL;DR, the first step to writing a debate is not to lie or demonize, and the second step is to realize literally nobody likes listening to ceaseless insults without substance. I get sick of hearing cuck or commie and I'm as opposed to gommunism and nu-males as can be.
>>3572>mock the idea of racism and fascism being bad things>gets called an sjw
lmao lurk moar. Take like five minutes reading Alternative Hypothesis or Jared Taylor before you pimp your fanfiction on a site dedicated to securing the existence of our people and a future for white children.
There isn't really a point for me to take you seriously. Not if you can't make an argument.>>3579
Thank you, this is a good post. The part about the characters, I'll focus on that. I know the OC looks awesome now, but personality-wise, I had to give him personality flaws I don't have, so I could make him more interesting. I know "Thinks he is flawless" sounds like something an asshole would say, but I'm just... not an asshole. I don't have mental landmines that, when pushed, make me explode. The only problem I really have is with constantly assuming the worst of everyone, but that's due to my upbringing and I work hard to deal with that flaw.
Anyway, the writing.
I find it difficult to really pin down who these canon characters are, and are supposed to be, with how inconsistently they are written in the show. Part of me says to ignore how characters act in episodes where they look or act like asshats, and episodes that are just written badly in general, but that doesn't leave me with a lot of episodes. I decided to rewatch S1 a while ago to re-familiarize myself with how these characters were when I fell in love with them and this world, but there are still a lot of things I just don't know about these characters. I don't know how Twilight would react to having someone go Extreme Home Improvement on her house, for example. I can guess, but I know my interpretation of these characters will be different to the interpretations of someone who loved all episodes, or loved different episodes, or considers the shit episodes to be as canon as the good ones.>>3580
This is going to sound really sad, but everything pro-commie Glimmer said in that episode is something I've heard from an actual commie over the years. I'm not strawmanning them when I say the ones I know and dislike seriously think all humans are poorly-trained shit dogs who need a firm-handed all-powerful state to show them dhe wae.
Does it count as strawmanning if you're having a "humans are shit and the system must dominate them" ideology repeated by a pony? Because the idea of a commie pony who hates things integral to pony society and biology still doesn't sit well with me, even after all this time. The character had to go because her nonsensical mary sue status was harming the show and the plots that could be told with it(for example, how can you tell a story about two friends learning to get along and get better at something if glimmer is there to be the best ever?), and glimmer having her ass kicked by a weaker smarter guy seemed like a better solution than having her say "I must go, my planet needs me" and float off into space.
If you're wondering why I said fascism=communism in the chapter, it's so I can redpill confused people in the comments on the actual founder of fascism, some dumb leftist. Remember, the left are the real fascists.
>>3583>I know the OC looks awesome now [...] not an asshole>pic relatedEverypony
is an asshole; You, me, and all the assholes in this thread and beyond. I seem to recall telling you that once before.
Having said, you make a valid point wrt the consistency of depicted characters. On the one hand, there are observable inconsistencies but I admit that while there were (plenty of) moments I felt the characters were inauthentic, I don't have any suggestions other than what you have described.. As far as your OC keeping it constructive here
, consider nerfing him in some way so that the Mane 6 would have to come together to 'save' him or whatever, perhaps using the knowledge and experiences they have had since he's been around. New readers are predominantly going to approach a FiM fic expecting it to emphasize Mane, and any OC you decide to include (Silver, et al) should be considered the "Guest Star" who compliments the Mane characters and helps them
to succeed, as opposed to being a Deus Ex Machina that just comes along and fixes everything cuz he's so awesome (again, Mary-sue). As one so powerful (think Celestia) he would probably be more fixated on helping others to grow in their power and ability rather than fixing everything himself, alluding to the concept of "Never do for someone else something that they are capable of doing for themselves." Basically, a mentor and guide rather than the main character.
You are not an asshole. And that sounds like a good idea, I'll do that.
Any other tips? I want to reveal Aquilla's(Silver's Griffon secretary and bodyguard) backstory at some point, but I'm not sure where it should go. Same goes for Silver, and how he went from weakling farmboy to awesome athletic muscle wizard.
>>3586>not an asshole
To your question, the only thing that comes to mind would be something equally/more powerful than Silver. It doesn't need to be a matter of power level either. In Naruto for example, its not always a matter of raw power, but technique and strategy that can win the fight. To avoid a mega-god battle, it would make more sense if the adversary/adversity was a group rather than an individual, and better still if it is an "Unknown type" of magic or effect. Off the top of my head, here's what I'm seeing.
Perhaps Aquilla received an urgent message for Silver, which might call on them (is Aquilla a female?) to investigate a geography that might allow you to expand on their backstory while leading toward the discovery of this new threat?
Another question to consider, when in the FiM story does all this take place? Is it pre-Tirek, for example? If post, then the Mane6 going super-saiyan could be an effective counter-balance to what Silver (or whoever) discovers.
It follows canon up to the end of season 6, then it diverges and becomes this. Seasons 7 and 8 just contain too much BS. Other seasons also have BS but I can fix those.
Silver and Aquilla(who is female and a hawk-panther orphan Griffon who was raised by a pony family) have pretty cool backstories. Though Aquilla's is kind of short. Should I post it here, so I can get feedback on it? I sometimes feel like it's too short.
The Talismans from Jackie Chan inspired these magical tarot cards the heroes are supposed to look for and collect, and some bad guys are also looking for them and collecting them. A group of three Diamond Dogs got the first card that was revealed, the Strength card, which makes you the ultimate fighter. I thought it'd add to the stakes if the hero lost the first fight, even with all his power, and his ability to bluff them was the only reason they left.
Inb4 OP becomes a lolcow.
That's such a stupid newspeak word.
What is a lolcow? A "cow" that you "milk" "lols" from.
And how do you "milk" laughter from a lolcow? By harassing him (and very rarely her, but usually him) and typing laughter and "smashing that MF crying laughing emoji" no matter what he responds with.
There are pedophiles in the DNC, and they get away with raping children because too many idiots are too busy being distracted by reality TV, or too busy distracting themselves with this nu "DIY reality TV" shit.
Is it really the worst thing in the world when some child, teenager, or adult does something "uncool" where the manchildren can see, upsetting said manchildren? White Americans and Brits are still discriminated against in their own homes and academia is still being used to propagandize children for the benefit of libtards, so I'm going to have to say no.
>>3590>>3591>>3592>OP becomes a lolcow.Glimmernigel
is showing all the marks that distinguish a regular mortal from a prime lolcow. Ever since i first encountered him here this only exaggerated. It is time for this bovine to make his degree at the steak university. All it takes is that someone like Fake Vril or me officially put him on the index. He will be immortalized as a humeme who brought great shame to the Alt Brony community.
Name my crimes. Or rather, let me know what you consider crimes. Let me know why you think I've brought great shame to "Your" community, since I'm apparently also the guy who stopped your Glimmer-spamming raid on this website around a year ago, the guy who was also one of this website's first members. Let me know why you think "I" need to go on your liberal-style "Wall of shame" as a strawmanned caricature of someone you despise for ruining your idea of fun.
Also, can you let me know why you feel the need to turn this fanfic-discussing thread into a childish IdPol shouting match where you identify as the leaders and protectors and inquisitors of the alt-right and proceed to identify me as an "enemy of the alt-right" who must be "punished" through being called bad names on the board you could be using to dig up dirt on liberal Senators and other liberal politicians instead? Because there's a pretty big difference in post quality when it comes to the people offering feedback and advice on improving ny craft, and the wannabe- Comissar infiltrators trying to pretend they're not just alt-right, but also people "alt-right" enough to decide who the community "needs" to turn against.
Look you haven't committed any crime but you need to remember you are on an imageboard and imageboards love their autism. A >100k word fanfic where glimmer is BTFO'd is some powerful 'tismry. Sperging out when people aren't interested in your work just adds fuel to the fire. My advice is to delete the thread and don't try to promote your work on imageboards.
>>3592>calling one of the oldest terms in chan culture newspeak
What if Glimmernigel is secretly Soygon?
>>3594>Also, can you let me know why you feel the need to turn this fanfic-discussing thread into a childish IdPol shouting match
We're just telling you to fuck off. Also >this thread? No, >the last five threads you made entirely for the purpose of self promotion on the basis of politics.>where you identify as the leaders and protectors and inquisitors of the alt-right and proceed to identify me as an "enemy of the alt-right" who must be "punished" through being called bad names on the board
The persecution complex is strong in this one. Being called a glimmernigger and a faggot is not special to you unless you make it so. Which clearly you did. You're the one who thinks mockery = idpol, who wrote an entire fanfic that was focused solely on a debate with an idpol commie. You started that discussion by promoting it on your first thread. Nobody made you into a martyr, you put yourself on a cross and then cried "father, why have you forsaken me?" While the rest of us are pointing and making fun of the self-important redditor shitting up multiple threads with his presence.>on the board you could be using to dig up dirt on liberal Senators and other liberal politicians instead?
Q Anon thread, Syria thread, Random News, and so on and so forth. If you want regular news on this stuff just get the brushup from Awoo. If you want raids theelre was a thread about that. If you want political espionage that's not my area of expertise and you can't expect everyone to engage in something so risky and potentially criminal when we already know Hollywood and the DNC are full of pedos for a fact. Giving your social media a quick combing is all these people did for you to openly and liberally smear yourself all over the walls. You're acting like we hacked your IP address, sent you pizzas and spread a rumor that you groom traps in your goddamn basement.>there's a pretty big difference in post quality when it comes to the people offering feedback and advice on improving ny craft, and the wannabe- Comissar infiltrators trying to pretend they're not just alt-right, but also people "alt-right" enough to decide who the community "needs" to turn against.
In other words there's a difference between one group of people who fruitlessly explain to you basic story structure, and trolls. Well no shit, Sherlock. And "trying to pretend they're not just alt-right, but also people "alt-right" enough to decide who the community "needs" to turn against"
? Are you fucking retarded? Yes, we ARE alt-right. We all are part of the anti-neocon right wing who openly discuss issues of racial and sexual biological differences where the mainstream right does not, and reject notions of the multiculty melting pot. That's all it takes to be branded alt-right. Whether we're ancap, mutualist, monarchist or NatSoc, we all fit this definition by shared beliefs in the aforementioned fields. Nobody here is DENYING BEING ALT-RIGHT unless you are trying to apply the term more narrowly to different factions among us. What part of anything stated in ANY of these threads is """""wannabe-Commisar"""""? What pretending have you seen from anyone about anything? And what is this shit about needing anything? You mean getting sick of your sub-/sp/-quality posts taking up half this fucking imageboard and saying yyou should fuck off? Is that too authoritarian for you? THEN LEAVE!
>>3577>How would I improve?
You don't. Or, to be more precise, you won't
I offered you advice in your previous threads, pointed you in the right directions to improve yourself, yet you failed to take any initiative beyond obeying directions, making it abundantly clear that you're here for instructions,
and not improvement. Validation, and not accomplishment. Attention, and not quality. This observation became firmly cemented into the domain of fact, given your chain of replies throughout this thread.
If I were to give you advice, as my inner spoonfeeder is itching to do, you would do nothing but ask me question after question for the sole purpose of having me do the mental heavy lifting for you; to have me, in effect, write the story for you. You will get no such shortcuts from me.
With that in mind, I'd like to shift attention to (You), >>3579. I understand your intentions, believe me, but you should have stopped replying when he posted >>3586. We call it "spoonfeeding," but to really understand the futility of your attempts to help Nigel here, this kind of back-and-forth is also referred to as "Help Vampirism": http://slash7.com/2006/12/22/vampires/
Know the signs, direct your efforts appropriately, and you'll never be disappointed when you help others.
As for Nigel, you would do well to quit being such an enormous help vampire, and an attention whore. Do that, drop the bad attitude, and provide me with something that shows a modicum of effort and initiative, and I may consider offering you actual, tangible help, instead of the shitposts and insults that you currently deserve.
The crybabies in this thread keep saying I'm acting in this way or that, but I'm not. I'm not "Mad" that they're crying over what my work is. Why would I be? I have no reason to take what they say seriously. Certainly not when it's just leftist projection from crying Glimmer-waifu soyboys mixed with blatantly liberal shame tactics.
If I was being paid to make "Something for everyone", then sure, pissing off a bunch of people would be bad. But pissing off this fandom's vocal (((minority))) (see what I did there?) is something I'd do just by writing an episode where Glimmer isn't shoehorned in and treated like the ultimate expert in everything and blameless ultimate life form. Glimmer is basically just Tomoki from Heaven's Lost Property, mixed with a second-rate Sunset Shimmer knockoff. I have no reason to care what people who want to live the pathetic fantasy he represents say about my work or who they think I am. I know who I am, I know how many lives I've saved in my lifetime, and I know what I'm going to do. They only know what they're going to do tomorrow: masturbate over Glimmer some more, and cry at people who don't like her.
>>3600>I have no reason to care what people who want to live the pathetic fantasy he represents say about my work or who they think I am
And yet, you remain here, posting thread after thread about it, to universal disdain.
But But, Anon... Remember Yakity Yak? Aren't we suposed to encourage shitposting because it is what makes them happy?
Why does getting ignored make you so mad? You aren't entitled to my time or attention. Why try and convince him to stop talking to me? Do you hope that I'll validate your childish views on who fiction should be for if I have nobody else to talk to?
>>3600>Glimmer glimmer glimmer
You are absolutely obsessed with the character. You put everything you dislike onto her and use her as the scapegoat for the world's problems. It's gotten to the point where you're more focused on hurting Glimmer in your story than actually writing a good story.
Trips proves it. This is the QED on all glimmernigel discussion.
>>3563>Not Real Communism
I am really getting sick of this shit. Communists use this statement to constantly push their agenda as to give an excuse that every other state failed because it wasn't "real".
Sorry buddy, it was real, it is real, and always will be real. Socialism is Communism. The same as a Nigger, Negro, Colored Person,Black, African-American, and Person of Colored are all one and the same. To say otherwise is a blatant lie.
I didn't make this thread to attract raiding leftypol users. I made this thread to attract people who dislike SJWs.>>3604
Code Brown, everyone! Code Brown! Actually, I forgot what colour was assigned to the "You care too much about X. You are Obsessed!" Shaming Tactic. Does anyone here have the pic with all of them and their colours saved?>>3602
I think the writers tried to use that episode as a really shit piece of emotional manipulation. You're "Supposed" to feel bad for Pinkie(baldy) and stop criticizing how painfully, livelihood-destroyingly bad a certain pink pony(bald soyboy) is at writing cartoons. I hate how many episodes these incompetent writers have used to pander to Glimmer fans and tell fans of the show how they "Should" feel about this character and that choice and how they "Should" behave.
This. I hate Glimmer too but you're clearly just projecting everything you hate onto Glimmer and those who like her - to the point you unironically think everyone shaming you has to be a glimmerfag, a liberal, and an SJW.
It must be a (((coincidence))) that the loudmouthed wannabe-commissar telling everyone to stop talking to the one he keeps labelling as a "racist sexist rapist woman-abusing vampire thoughtcriminal" is also a commie and rabid Glimmer fanboy.
Yep. It must be a (((coincidence))), eh?
They lie so clumsily.
See this is exactly what we're talking about. I'm the only one who brought up racism and he's clearly not defending communism. He's REBUTTING "not true communism" statements. And again with projecting glimmer onto everything. Is she like a hate-tulpa or something for you?
Yes, your straw-man of your opposition tends to do what you want it to do.
Here in reality you could be arguing against their leftist socialism that fails to survive even basic power distribution principles.
This is the part where people say,>almonds activate>>3608>>3604
Okay, time for some myth, mythicized stories founded in the legends of old.
One day, HClegend btfo Glimmernigel on Fimfiction.net or wattpad.net (some legends suggest it could've been archiveofourown.net but the interpretation of whether these tales are more legend or story is a topic of debatabe)
-and then he swore vengeance upon the one who slayed his hopes, dreams and family... (believed to actually have been critique of one of his stories,) by attempting to banish them.
The great bard Silver's spell failed but the die was cast, his enemy hex'd into the realm of invocatus block'ohs.
Hclegend, remember that time you harassed me on r/undertale, and then harassed me on r/askoldpeople? Remember how butthurt you got when I made a new blog post on fimfiction explaining why I don't like Starlight Glimmer?
You should have been banned, last time the admins here told you to drop your vendetta against me. Because you never dropped it. I was willing to let the time you and your friends raided this site go, but you are not willing to let the time I disrespected your favourite cartoon horse go. You keep trying to convince people who have no idea who we are that you're worth something and I'm not, because only someone entirely unfamiliar with us could be convinced that this is the case.
You have nothing to offer this site or any discussion on it. You are a plant, here to shitpost and pseud it up about "muh cycles" and mindlessly nay-say at any suggestions and ideas offered to fix the problems facing the west.
Now, getting reminded of that time you were dumb enough to reveal that you were stalking me on reddit and downvoting everything that I posted seems to bother you. So, I will say... Fuck off and take the discord users "Samefagging" for you with you, or I will post an archived link to the r/askoldpeople subreddit post in which you stupidly revealed yourself to everyone present as the world's pettiest stalker.
Straw-man: Over Exaggeration of your political opponents argument.>Real Communism has never at any point been achieved in the real world because it's fundamentally at odds with human nature, the closest anyone has ever come to implementing it is Socialism...
Socialism is Communism is my argument. They are one and the same and has been used from Soviet Union to Cuba.
A rose by any other name is still a rose. That is the point I made with the term Nigger. When it was socially acceptable to call someone by that name and then we changed it to meet the new social standards.
Socialism is just a new term for communism. The fact the term changed doesn't excuse the fact of what it is and modern leftist use it as to excuse the failures of why it failed to claim it wasn't "real" communism as >>3563
made the same exact argument.
It doesn't matter how it was organized as a government from all the countries that implemented it, they all follow the same ideologies and system based on Karl Marx.
There's nothing the audience loves to see more than a percieved cop out like,>but dey're day same gosh darn fangled thang
this kind of inability to counter semantic arguments is exactly the kind of thing that gives me the political edge I need to debate left-wingers.
No wonder why you're over here shielding Silver.
Oh and do you want to join the sargon discord to help me btfo sjaydoubleyas?
because when you talk this
and seperate ideas like this
Do you want to know how i know you're new to the whole forum-posting thing?
>>3613>So, I will say… Fuck off and take the discord users "Samefagging" for you with you>samefagging>on discord>multiple people samefagging
what drugs are you on?
Huh? I think you are replying to the wrong guy. Did you get the ID's wrong and or hit the wrong post number? Not that it is any relevant but I am Far-Right when it comes to politics and much of a conservative. I don't know who the hell Silver is, is someone namefagging that I am not aware of? And then the rest really is gibberish. I am sorry but you aren't making sense other than personal attacks.
Also try to move your window to snap on either the left or the right of the screen and then you will see those ideas actually form what are called "paragraphs". Paragraphs are meant to divide ideas into groups on a page to make it easier for the reader to understand and each usually has a opening and closing sentence that encapsulates that idea and transitions to the next.
You pointed out a logical fallacy towards me when what I stated wasn't and exaggeration as I directly quoted him. So now I will point an actual fallacy. Ad Hominum, a direct personal attack against an opponents character.
>>3606>I cannot tell the difference between communism and socialism.
They're both shit, but as I said, communism is fundamentally impossible because we don't have the mentality of ants.
>>3618>Governance vs Economy.
Karl Marx stated, "workers of the world unite." and that "the people shall own the means of production". Just like how Korea calls them democratic, doesn't mean that they are still not Communist or follow Marxism. The difference you try to point out is state power, not economic power.
It is shit for many reasons, from the state becoming aristrocrats (which marx hatted) to human nature wanting to stab another in the back, even if by doing so they just sit back and get their kicks on a free ride. It can never sustain itself economically. Be it the people redistributing wealth (as you try to argue communism) or the state (socialism). It really has become as divided as an argument of Gender vs Sex when they are too the same thing.
The difference I see is that Socialism retains the presence of government while Communism lacks it completely, which will never work for obvious reasons because people don't like giving up their hard earned shit and can only be coerced to do so. If I recall, there are actually small communist communities in rural Russia still, but they're quickly dying out because no one wants to live under that system and the kids are moving out as soon as they come of age. Don't quote me on that though, I only vaguely remember it being mentioned on /pol/ and I never followed up on it.
>>3617>indentation>new line no space>single line break
I think you might be the one who needs to learn what paragraph breaks are, you might even learn some different ways to format those ideas.>two sentence paragraphs
That's enough kool-aid for today.
You shouldn't worry so much about '''paragraphs''' and stick to the 'readability' goal.>gibberish
Get the dick out of your brain, the only gibberish is your inability to follow a chain of events, this entire thread was about Silver, keep up.
I never implied you straw-manned the discount-kiwi.
That's not the who I meant, thanks, maybe not enough of us have snapped our screens to the right or left to get on your level and understand you.
What are you even trying to point out? Socialism is a new term for communism?
If you mean to say that how it's used in contemporary politics by leftists (incorrectly) as an interchangeable word for communism then I might be able to compromise with you and agree.
I can't even parse the rest of your argument because the rest of it looks like you're trying to validate your semantics to other people.
None of anything you say has use to me, the only part that's useful is 'nob an argumend' so I don't see why you want to argue it so hard as to run it against other peoples points. This is the kind of thing that's only useful to point out during the course of an argument for the benefit of everyone being on the same page.>You pointed out a logical fallacy towards me when what I stated wasn't and exaggeration as I directly quoted him. So now I will point an actual fallacy. Ad Hominum, a direct personal attack against an opponents character.
Thanks dude, sorry I insulted you, that was, as I understand, uncalled for, I apologize. I (personally lol) sure hate those fucking fallacies.
Add my account u/Hclegend and we can, maybe, swap thesis papers later.
Not to sound like an ancap but by definition the state is the institution that uses force or the threat thereof to maintain itself and the territory it governs. I can't think of any non-government that follows communism or socialism. The closest I can even get is communalism, wherein West African niggers can demand someone to share any amount of anything for any reason, and if that person says no they're to be robbed of it. It's still a state by the aforementioned definition but it's a situation where civilians can commit violence without consequence.
It wasn't always when there were still places to go that were ungoverned for people who didn't want to live under the iron fist of the government, the Earth is 'full' now. Also >ancal
, I'm gonna start calling Californians this.
>>3623[sheds a single Californian tear]
An American town once tried Ancap ideology.
Ancap ideology is supposed to work on a smaller scale, but in the case of the town they literally wanted to remove them-self from the actual state systems the town had operated with for ages.
I wouldn't want to live in under an ideological system.
But if you want to talk politics like a faggot you'll have to go to >>>/sp/
because this is thread derailment and the thread is about Fimfiction and Glimmernigel.
Now, Glimmernigel, what was that about posting an archived link? You wanna go there?
What about the proof linking ''me'' to a glimmer shitpost raid? Don't you have fallout 4 mods to make??
I'm so sorry Anon, I hope you escape that hellhole.
I understand changing to or creating a new thread but moving to /sp/ to talk politics? Seems odd.
I will stop though.
I'm glad you appreciate my suggestions, and I legitimately hope that you improve. On the other hand, >pic related https://mlpol.net/qa/res/2631.html
should give you an adequate idea of how long I've been trying to get through to you. I accede that I have been insufferable at times, and admit that my receptivity to your material and presentation directly correlates to your receptivity to mine. One of Jordan Peterson's 'rules' is "Assume the person talking to you has something important to teach" (paraphrased). When you adopt this attitude, I have no issue with you, but when you act like a prick,... well likewise.If you think this is bad, you should see my (you)'s in the Rick and Morty thread
I'm taking the opportunity to emphasize this because I rather enjoyed the last couple days, but then I spend just one day
away from the board, and you're off to the races again. Do you really not see how sperging out and baselessly accusing people of shit because they're not responding how you think they should is counter-productive?>>3607
No, but you did make this thread to attract attention. Guess what? You got it, and everything that comes with it. What makes me sad is that you don't realize you're shooting yourself in the foot, and so you keep doing it. I reiterate, everyone is an asshole and it would do you a service to realize it.
I would really prefer that you stop being disingenuous.
The criers in this thread don't really have a right to play the victim if I have to openly say "I'll only listen to what you have to say if it's worth something" to get them to either say something worth something or have meltdowns due to their inability to do so.
When someone in this thread gave me feedback, I responded well to it, while ignoring the worthless Leddit "bawww is so cwingey! I identify u as a spergistic and so do my friends!" mouth confusion.
>Reddick calling others Reddick
I don't mind having discussion and perhaps I do have some issues in articulating my exact point at times. Though it would be better to ask to clarify than to demean your opponent. So thank you for understanding that.
I don't know exactly what term came first, communism or socialism, if I recall correctly Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto was inspired by Utopia which coined Socialism, but don't take my word on that I am not 100% on it. However, in these days both point back at Karl Marx as both still use his book as doctrine. The term, at least in modern times, have always been synonymous with another albeit some differences, though arguing them would be like comparing apples to apples, seriously! Take the sweet apple Honey Crisp and compare it to a very tart Granny Smith. Both very different but the same as they are both apples. Comparison can even be made with Baptist vs Catholic, vastly difference but follow one doctrine, the Bible. I think of Communism as the all encapsuling body of the ideology since that is the word used in the Manifesto. But like taboo words of yesteryear, eg. Nigger. Socialism has replaced it to make it more appealing.
The point I was trying to get across is due to the synonymous nature of the words Communism and Socialism, in that they follow the same doctrine, many who support communism will state that it was never "truly" practiced and defend it as being "pure" while making the claim that all other countries, Cuba, Soviet Union, N. Korea, etc., were merely posers. In turn they confirm "Well, because it was never really practiced you can't take this as an example why it failed and communism can still work if it were really practiced." It is why when I saw the same argument it was, worrysome, to say the least.
Oh, and by the way, I never paid attention to the "artists" name. I just saw hubris.
>>3592>complains about people wasting time on internet drama instead of focusing on super srs stuff>starts two threads about his pony fanfiction
Nigel, I'm almost hesitant to poke this particular bear any further, but frankly the level of disconnection from reality you've exhibited in this thread is literally CWC tier. As far as I've been able to discern, your honest to God interpretation of what's going on here is that some guy who once made fun of you on FiMfiction followed you to /mlpol/, took the time to establish an identity as Vril anon, brought along an entire army of doppelganger shitposters to "samefag," all with the apparent intention of sabotaging the community's opinion of some cringy fanfiction you wrote. And the Glimmerniggers! Oh God, the Glimmerniggers, they're everywhere! Your narcissistic, ridiculous assumption that there is some secret army of Starlight Glimmer fans hiding in the shadows on this site, just waiting to shit on your work, not because it's bad, but simply because you made fun of their favorite pony,
is so over the top autistic it defies categorization. Like I'm pretty sure doctors are going to have to create a whole new spectrum just so they have somewhere to classify your autism.
For your own good, let me make just one (probably futile) effort to explain in plain English what is actually happening here. You started two, not one but two, threads to fish for compliments on your horrendous, amateurishly-written fanfiction about your God-awful Mary Sue OC BTFOing an imaginary pony you hate in an imaginary debate in which you control the actions of all characters, thus rendering the argument completely pointless and an absolute bore to read. Unsurprisngly, no one was even remotely interested. You were told to fuck off. Instead of taking the hint, you kept arguing with people, reverting to your usual rants about Glimmer and calling everyone Commissars or whatever the living fuck. People are now shitting all over your threads and making fun of you because you keep taking the bait and it's hilarious. That is literally the extent of what's going on here.>What is a lolcow? A "cow" that you "milk" "lols" from.
Once again displaying the traits of your Rainman-tier autism, you have demonstrated that you understand the meaning of words but fail to grasp the inherent concept behind them. A "lolcow" is someone that continuously dispenses lols. No matter how many times you bait them, they always respond predictably with over the top reactions that can be milked for lols. They never learn lessons. They just keep repeating the same behavior that made them a target in the first place, getting the same kind of shit for it, and responding with the same over the top levels of rage and indignation. As an example I invite you to reread your own posts in this thread.>Starlight Glimmer
I just want to say once more for emphasis that your fixation on this character is both hilarious and unsettling. I'm not a fan of her either, but I can't even imagine getting this triggered by a fucking cartoon pony. It's honestly like that South Park episode where Al Gore is going around trying to convince everyone that Manbearpig is a serious threat. Please, for your own good, get this through your head: there are no Glimmerniggers. There never were any Glimmerniggers. I have been here as long as you have, and I can tell you that this board's opinion of Glimmer overall trends negative, and basically runs the gamut from "meh, she's okay" to "I don't much care for her." People only post her excessively when they want to troll you. I suggest you do some more reading on lolcows.
Please Nigel, for your own good: let it go. Stop responding to bait, stop making threads to shill your writing projects, stop sperging about Glimmer. Please. You really don't want to go down this road.
As I mentioned here, >>3631
I am not 100% where the term was first coined, however the ideology and the word in itself both point back to Karl Marx. From there, it spun into all sorts of different methods of trying to enact it. One reason it is important to define your terms is because semantics is always a thing.
It is an interesting perspective of how you look at it in that light with the governments role in trying to enact Karl Marx's ideology. Though equally funny in he context there of, with out government it is anarchy and mob rule. Besides, who is going to give up their shit and enforce that others do to "share the wealth" so you have to have some governance. And this is why seeing your definition makes me laugh even louder as communism will never work and always will be "socialism". Just one more feather in the communism always fails cap.
Like all ideologues, Marx was an idiot who thought he could make literally every single person believe the same thing and act the same way and ironically to never ever question it. Which is why Communism will never work and never has before or never will happen, which was my point, Communism as he outlined it is literally impossible, and what people call Communism is just Socialism, which, being based on Communism, makes it only marginally more possible because it's easier for a government to coerce the population into it. I feel like you've taken what I said and somehow thought I was in favour of it and not just saying it's never actually happened because it's a simple objective fact that it hasn't.
When will you wannabe-Commissars notice that I just stop reading your posts when you mention CWC for the same reason I stop reading Liberal posts when they say Trump is Russian? I have done nothing wrong, unless pissing off the Glimmy Brigade and making them hate me more than they did last time I ruined their raid on this site counts.
You have to keep mentioning Russia- I mean Hitler- I mean CWC to try and form a connection between me and this guy. Because a connection just isn't there. You have to keep labelling me with these bad words like Racist and Sexist- I mean Egotistical and Vampiric because at the end of the day, you're still crying libtards who want criticism of your ideas and heroes censored.
I know CWC is supposedly one of the few people on the planet arguably more delusional and entitled than you, but there are pedophiles and rapists who get away with it. The people who destroyed the family got away with it. Uncontrolled immigration is still happening. And what are you doing with your free time? Acting like this is just another subreddit for cringers, scraping the bottom of the barrel to find losers to cringe at, even though they'd find the ultimate cringe if they looked in a mirror.
Yeah, the future of the western world is in SUCH good hands. That is what we're here to discuss, when not posting porn and greentext and masturbating together to keep Reddit out, yes?
No, I didn't think that you were in support of it. Just dangerous thinking as it is the same sort of an argument that the left make."Because they aren't the same words, they aren't the same."
However you definded it now as how you see it diffrently and why. Socialism is diffrent that how the left define it, same as communism.
Something you stated, I dont know why, but when you said about all acting the same and thinking the same reminded me of this one movie or show I watched as a kid. Something about a cd or game that waz mind controling all the kids and the next day at school everyone is wearing all blue like some cult. I am beginning to think that it might have been something from Disney. But yeah, communism isn't too far off from being a cult.
>>3635>racist and sexi- I mean egotistical and vampiric
Again you're pretending that being up your own ass and begging for validation are just buzzwords, even when it's laid out in front of you. The fact you're trying so hard to draw the most tenuous parallels to SJWs when according to you we're all communiat glimmerniggers who hate the right is absurd. Give us one singular piece of evidence that anyone here is an anti-white SJW and maybe I'll consider you worth listening to.
>>3635>done nothing wrong
As far as site rules are concerned, technically this is correct (though, one could make an argument that the repeat threads about your fics could constitute shilling to a certain degree).
However, your ostentatious dismissal of proprietary norms on imageboards (read: your lolcow behavior) is an affront to many, who have been here contributing and participating while you have been off writing your fics to later excessively
(as in, beyond necessity, reasonability, or mutual respect for anons) promote to an audience that is increasingly dismissive and uninterested. Simply, the more you try and push your fics, the more you will be pushed back against, with emphasis on the fact that you pushed first
.>inb4 I don't respect them
Its evident, and the backlash you're receiving is a consequence - and not an isolated aspect - of that lack of respect.
Nigel, you were doing so well
>>3638>You were doing so well
I've yet to see this. From the very first post I saw, he was begging for people to go to fimfiction and give him shill-upvotes to counter dose ebin gommyaniss. When people showed at best a lukewarm response here, he resorted to insulting the entire thread as SJWs. From that point on all he ever does is dig himself deeper in the trench of attempting to draw flimsy comparisons between us and SJWs. No apology, no remorse for shitting up page 1 for over a week, and the one post he seems open to critique is then followed up by "well I don't care what you people think."
He's nothing more than a lolcow who's only fun to mock from another place, where he doesn't outright ruin the board culture by taking time and attention from otherwise regular high-quality posters.
By 'well', I mean that he almost started listening for a moment
I hope everyone doesn't think all bongs act like Nigel
It's been a long time, Jason.
I'll cut right to the chase. I'll tell you why I'm here:
You see, I've had enough. Everyone has had enough. No more. Of (You). And your fanfics. And the autism. No more self-promotion. No more nothing.
I am here to put a stop to it. You see: Your shitposts are my business. And mine to control. NOT YOURS!
Allow me to clue you in on the plan I've had for a while now.
You see, I went out at night into the streets of England. There I found an Internetcafé and contacted every ponysite and politics board I could find. And you know what I did?
I found each and everyone of them. And I told them.
I have your mugshot. If you see this man: Give him nothing. He deserves nothing. You see, I spread these out. They know you, before (You) even approach.
So you see, Jason. I have all the cards. And you are just going to have to play with whatever hand I deal to (You).
I'm getting an inkling that a lot of bongs do, especially ones who wax e-politics like Sargon. But I would never bring myself to hate all bongs; you were our big brother, and while we're not linked by a government, I still see you as our brother.
>>3635>That is what we're here to discuss, when not posting porn and greentext and masturbating together to keep Reddit out, yes?>posting porn and greentext
Whether this is real or just a larp, I can't get pic related out of my head
>mfw this thread
Guys, I think we've found something more autistic than us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TedsiCaV2B4>On Amazon, an egotistical self-published author cannot let go of criticism against his book, and his anxiety spirals into obsession.
I like the US. It's got human rights and gun rights, it's got a populace willing to fight antifa, and it's got some nice-sounding accents.
Hey, when are Americans going to try and get Trump to grant amnesty and sanctuary to Tommy Robinson, BTFOing the corrupt UK establishment elites and turning this into an international incident?
Last I heard, he served his time and made it out unscathed. I'm happy for him but hopefully that's the end of the problem?
That being said if things get really bad I'd be down for a letter writing campaign to let Robinson into the American pre-ethnostate
"Every day this small group of detractors would post up to 12 comments in the debate, often retreading old ground and reiterating the same complaints, with [author] proclaiming his literary and moral superiority."
Well, you tried, and that should be applauded.
The scene with Silver and the Dragon was a joke scene. You did notice that the dumbest anime bullshit happened entirely within the Dragon mare's head, right? Right? Riiiiiiight?
Y'all'd probably have a better understanding of this story if you read all of it, instead of this one chapter. You'd know what Silver's Extreme Gear is, for example.
Should I have made it more obvious that Silver was bluffing when he claimed he's invincible when he's angry? Was the implication that he wouldn't have lost a fight in an earlier chapter if he actually had this ability not enough? Oh, right, I forgot. You also skipped the chapter where he loses a fight and gets out of dying right there by bluffing, so you didn't recognize that as a consistent character trait. Should I make my work simple enough for a whiny Glimmer fanboy who feels entitled to skip chapters and still understand everything to understand?
I get that you aren't playing with a full deck, in more ways than one, but tell me you don't think Naruto invented the idea of Shadow Clones. Come on, even World Of Warcraft had those. Was namedropping Mirror Image not enough?
Honestly, the only remotely reasonable complaint here was that Twilight, someone the Dragon Mare didn't know, didn't really say or do anything inside an anime battle that happened entirely in that Dragon Mare's head. Because sure. What even is foreshadowing?
Unfortunately, the UK lacks Double Jeopardy laws, so the govt is trying to arrest him again. For the same non-crime. At this rate, they should really just put the Second Legal Defense Fund into spiriting him, his wife, and his family out of the country and into a country not ruled by Muslim Theocrats.
but the joke wasn't good lol you killed it
you killed your own joke
threadly reminder that this epic comes in 2 volumes
a feast of autism and lolcow milk
i like this edit, this is some peak political history and event knowledge
Hi Nigel, I'm the anon who's shitting on you in the other thread. Figured I'd pop on over to this one and see what it felt like to shit on you here.>The scene with Silver and the Dragon was a joke scene. You did notice that the dumbest anime bullshit happened entirely within the Dragon mare's head, right? Right? Riiiiiiight?
See, the problem with this, Nigel, is that it's impossible to tell what's supposed to be a joke scene and what isn't, because you completely lack the ability to read or write any level of irony. Your OC is so overpowered and ridiculous it's almost impossible to filter out which ridiculous things are unintentional because you can't tell the difference.
Also, the fight scene with the dragon-horse-thing is really not so much a joke as it is a pathetic, completely transparent platform for your faggot OC to show off his rad ninja skills in front of Twilight. Then he just sort of casually drops it into the conversation that this apparently super-powered unbeatable chimera is a creature that he found and, naturally, trained himself. He did this, of course, in between running his multi-million dollar company, fighting monsters in other dimensions, performing impossible feats of magic, playing bass for Metallica, and whatever the fuck else this preposterous character does.>Should I have made it more obvious that Silver was bluffing when he claimed he's invincible when he's angry? Was the implication that he wouldn't have lost a fight in an earlier chapter if he actually had this ability not enough? Oh, right, I forgot. You also skipped the chapter where he loses a fight and gets out of dying right there by bluffing, so you didn't recognize that as a consistent character trait. Should I make my work simple enough for a whiny Glimmer fanboy who feels entitled to skip chapters and still understand everything to understand?
Even after I've taken the time to slog my way through most of your 32k+ word epic (which is only Chapter 6 of another work that is only God knows how long) and have grown intimately familiar with your massive ego, it seems I can still be amazed by just how bottomless the depths of your hubris really are. This one is just so packed with juicy Nigel-isms that I'd like to look at each item one at a time.>Should I have made it more obvious that Silver was bluffing when he claimed he's invincible when he's angry?
Yes. You should have, because as I stated earlier, you are completely incapable of being ironic and you give your character so many stupid powers it's hard to imagine you would allow him to NOT be invincible.>Was the implication that he wouldn't have lost a fight in an earlier chapter if he actually had this ability not enough?
Get this through your head. Your story is long, convoluted, preposterously verbose, poorly constructed, poorly planned, poorly executed. Anyone willing to take time out of their day to slog through this dreck deserves a medal, but you've got the balls to start berating people for not having read more of it? >Oh, right, I forgot. You also skipped the chapter where he loses a fight and gets out of dying right there by bluffing, so you didn't recognize that as a consistent character trait.
Nobody fucking cares, Nigel. Your character is terrible and everyone hates him. >Should I make my work simple enough for a whiny Glimmer fanboy who feels entitled to skip chapters and still understand everything to understand?
"Feels entitled to skip chapters?" "FEELS ENTITLED TO SKIP CHAPTERS?!?"
Jesus fucking Christ, unironically kill yourself. Oh, wait, you don't understand irony. FUCKING KILL YOURSELF.
Listen, you arrogant pile of dogshit. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is under any obligation to read any of this. That any of us have been willing to take FIVE MINUTES to read even ANY of this river of steaming liquid feces that you call a fanfiction is something you should be on your knees praising Allah for.
Your writing is terrible. Your OC is the most unlikable, overpowered, ridiculous, laughable unintentional parody of himself I have ever encountered anywhere. This is quite literally the worst thing I have ever read, anywhere, and I've read like three of the Harry Potter books.
You come to this site, post TWO THREADS begging us to read this self-aggrandizing pile of steaming baby vomit, then you have the nerve to act like you're doing us a favor by letting us read it? Like we need to really read the entire
work just to be able to understand the subtle nuances of your creative genius? Fuck. You.
Listen, Nigel. This isn't a critique anymore. You don't deserve a critique. This is an intervention. You need to hear this:YOU. CAN'T. WRITE.
Your plot is clumsily structured and confusing. Your dialogue is awful. You don't even remotely understand the characters you're writing about. Right at this moment, there are 7 year old girls acting out simplistic stories using plastic MLP toys who are producing better stories with better characterizations than anything you've ever written in your life.
And for the last time: YOUR OC IS FUCKING GARBAGE.
Silver Star is the stupidest, most overpowered, obnoxious, bland, cringey brony OC that has ever been conceived, and frankly that's saying a lot.
Stop writing forever, Nigel. Chop your fucking hands off so you won't be tempted to do it. Cut your tongue out so you won't be able to dictate stories to a computer that doesn't know any better. Jump off a bridge when you're done just to be on the safe side.
You are a terrible writer, Nigel. It has become glaringly apparent that you will never improve, so stop trying. You will never be good at this, ever.
Oh shit, there's stuff in here that I missed.>Y'all'd probably have a better understanding of this story if you read all of it, instead of this one chapter. You'd know what Silver's Extreme Gear is, for example.
I have no idea what Silver's "Extreme Gear" is, however it does not even remotely surprise me that this is a thing he would have.>What even is foreshadowing?
That is just one of many hundreds of questions about the subtleties of the writer's craft that you should be asking yourself.
You know what? I haven't read all of your work. Originally, I just wanted to shitpost a little and milk you like the lolcow you are. But I've changed my mind. I'm fascinated now. I'm not just going to deconstruct chapter 6. I am going to read EVERY FUCKING WORD of this shit you wrote and deconstruct EVERY FUCKING CHAPTER, because I want to understand. It's like you're not even human, you're some kind of genetic oddity, like the Elephant Man. You deserve to be studied. Hell, you deserve to have a crack team of researchers observing you round the clock, but that's sadly a little beyond my means to arrange. But I want to understand. And one day, I will.
Shit's gettin' REAL now.
>>3658>>3657>Your writing is terrible. Your OC is the most unlikable, overpowered, ridiculous, laughable unintentional parody of himself I have ever encountered anywhere. This is quite literally the worst thing I have ever read, anywhere, and I've read like three of the Harry Potter books. >Listen, Nigel. This isn't a critique anymore. You don't deserve a critique. This is an intervention. >YOU. CAN'T. WRITE. >And for the last time: YOUR OC IS FUCKING GARBAGE. >Stop writing forever, Nigel. Chop your fucking hands off so you won't be tempted to do it. >I have no idea what Silver's "Extreme Gear" is, however it does not even remotely surprise me that this is a thing he would have.>But I've changed my mind. I'm fascinated now. I'm not just going to deconstruct chapter 6. I am going to read EVERY FUCKING WORD of this shit you wrote and deconstruct EVERY FUCKING CHAPTER,>It's like you're not even human, you're some kind of genetic oddity, like the Elephant Man.
These threads must have had one of the most groundbreaking turns i have witness since i started browsing chan sites in 2008. We are witnessing history here. I hope you are happy Nigel. you better be with the demons you have summoned. This guy is going to nail you to a cross and make a travesty out of You. At Last, You are famous now, this will attract more people to you than ever. This is your personal coronation. Enjoy it.
>>3657>This is quite literally the worst thing I have ever read, anywhere, and I've read like three of the Harry Potter books.
Nigel, I really hope you don't kill yourself however I do think you should stop posting here for your own sake. It is clear that no one here wants to read your stories since no one has defended you. So why do you bother posting here?
I tried reading the first chapter of the story you linked but lost intrest in it quite fast.
Although I don't want to become a victim for a potential help-vampire, I do think that you could be good writer. I base that on the fact you have stayed dedicated on a project, such as you story, for so long.
So I will give you advice from the little I read in your story. I skipped a lot and read through it with high-speed so I probably missed something.
However my critism concerns a specific scene were Silver's secatary tells him that his coffee is ready (What coffee really, Nigel?). They start talking about how Silver has ben reading for sventeen hours in a one go without breaks. Here is the thing though. Yes, establishing a character's trait like this is okay I guess. But I wouldn't write it like that. If I were to tell my readers: "This character is smart", I would have showed my readers a problem first and then let my chracter solve it.
Also, reads books, meh. Nothing specifc just books.
This so much. Unironically, without a shred of exaggeration, this whole travesty that is Nigel's life has just left me with so many keks just spilling out of him in real time that I can't help but feel like I'm finally part of the chan culture that I abandoned in the 2010s, all over again.
I wish that I could bottle up moments like this and keep them forever.
Of course, so on top of being a Prodigy, a genius, a scientist, a magician, the strongest fighter, the richest business-owner, from another universe, aware of and involved in all doomed timelines like a Time player in Homestuck, AND a damn ninja, he also happens to have a high-tech surfboard. There's no way this is real, the spaghetti is just spilling from his pockets with every piece of trivia we get.
Gonna be honest: I've made two OCs that have the word "Silver" in their names, and I'd like to say they're leagues better than Silver Star.
Oh god you just reminded me about pothead the porcupine - er, "Silver the Hedgehog."
Also I usually arpee-colon-three with on-the-spot characters made in the moment, and only a couple have silver in their names. Usually they turn out to be physically weak but with some kind of alternative form of strength such as tactical acumen or a thing for tech. I think that's well enough balanced for the purpose of role playing, maybe not for novel-length fics but miles above Silver Star for sure.
And now you've reminded me of that abortion of a Sonic the Hedgehog game. Wonderful.
It's also funny that you say that, because the one I made first was a unicorn with weaker-than-average combat magic but an affinity for heavy armor.
Sounds like a perfectly fine character, considering the MMO trifecta of Tank, DPS, and White Mage. In fact, having a character who is set up in that manner is actually a great idea if you want to create a good narrative of multiple characters meeting and befriending each other
Exactly. Plus I've always been a fan of a character's class or abilities going against the grain of their race's typical vocation.
well Rara is also against the typical mage's vocation. Her magic is simply a tool to assist in more accurate sewing. But yeah, I get the idea.
I suppose that would also be "against the grain".
>>3670Since when were there rules as to how many Ra's I can use! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee-
This video may be an analysis video but I think it's great for those who are seeking to create a hero or villain character of some kind. I like this whole series of videos, as it gives a lot of insight you probably never would get from reading Homestuck for the first time.
>>3672>Homesuck in the preview thumb
No no no, wait. It's actually good. It goes in some serious depth about mythology, archetypes, personality, and categorization, as well as symolism in general which isn't just littered throughout Homestuck, it's fucking flooded Homestuck. Like...if you opened a door the sheer force of its symbolism would probably force you out of it.
>>3675>wall of text covering half the third panel>replacing communism/socialism with a new name but not monarchy with diarchy or any other term>black text that is sometimes hard to read
Try again, that's a trash meme.
the original meme is trash, that why it must be as trashy as the other one and also covered in text on purpose and is made to trigger lefties. and if it works with you then it will works wonders on them.
Eh. I prefer either actual debates or more easily digested memes for the sake of besting the left. Pic related.
different thing but whatever.
I like me some direct, simple nationalist memes like that. Just not a fan of the kind of stuff that either gets overly up-its-own-ass, long-winded, or screechy. I like the "god forgives no traitor" kind of meme over the edgy or debate-focused memes.
that is ok, me too. but as i said, the other meme is like that on purpose.
I been wondering is Nigel's story actually a parody it has the comedy tag is he parodying the opwered oc trope.
If that's what your doing, then you are doing it wrong. It is like one punch man if you are going to have a op oc, then use this character to subvert tropes around him. If it is comedy your aiming for, then do something unexpected with the character. There are many other fanfiction stories with mary-sues and here is the crux. You think that you are parodizing these stories while you are actually adding to them. Because reading your story, is as insufferable as reading the real thing. There are no jokes in your stories becauee I can't tell what is a joke and what isn't.
For example in my last post I mentioned a part in your story were your oc says that he has been reading for seventeen hours.
I don't know if this is a joke or not for several reasons. First is that it is almost possible to achive consider one is awake each day for like fithteen hours for some even more. So it might not be out of this world to train yourself to be capable of doing this. If you had instead increased the time for his reading to like three whole days or a week, then I would have known that it was joke. Since it is impossible, to do that.
The other reason is that everything is exaggrated so nothing stands out.
Basicly what you should have done with this character is to play off with his absurd character traits. Like since he probably has the biggest dong in all of equestria, have him be afraid of pants with zippers or something.
Why are the butthurt fimfic police alternating between this thread on the topic and the other one? And why did they bump the other thread to the front page? How do the redditors benefit from having two threads about this on the front page at the same time?
Huh, its almost like shitting up the board with multiple threads shilling the same shitty fic has unintended consequences you poor thing
What is it with leftists and seeing "Consequences" as an inherently bad thing enemies must face for offending and upsetting the perpetually offended?
Pulling your soiled diaper off and flailing it around like a mace of autism wont make you win an argument outside of your own cranium. The real sad thing is that not only your fic is 110% completely unironic, but that you also think you have talent and good humor. I dare you to put screencaps of these threads onto your good boy point wall on Deviant Art, like you did with your leddit shit.
This abomination of a chad meme tells people more about (((you )))
than you think. It's an analogy to your abyssmal writing and atrocious personality.
>>3686>I dare you to put screencaps of these threads onto your good boy point wall on Deviant Art, like you did with your leddit shit.
This, and don't be a faggot: include King Battlebrit's original story and Glim Glam's deconstruction of your work.
>>3685>ledditor completely bastardizes the original comedic virgin/chad meme>After consumption the plebbit regurgitates it as unironic self praise for himself>He does it all with no sense of comedy accompanied with his standard verbal vomit.
Yet another shining example of your massive unsatable love of your own cock. Well nobody else will give you praise so may as well go down on your own ego right? I don't think I've ever seen the chad meme this covered in walls of text, it's truly a real example of prime lolcow.
This. If you didn't want to make front page so damn much, you shouldn't have shilled this fucking hard for your shit fanfic. You can't stop this. You could have prevented it, but you can no longer stop it.
>>3685>deplatforming for being right>deplatforming
Nigger, you came here, with the intention of advertising, you got shit-talked to an extent you couldn't handle, and you deleted your own goddamn fanfiction off the site. If you stopped shilling, if you stopped spending thread after thread ignoring all criticism to defend your fiction like you think liking it is a moral imperative, then none of this would have happened. Hell, even after the other thread first started, you could have just dropped off the face of the earth and most of the shit-talk would be over in a few days. MAYBE weeks.
>Yeah, I have an OC. He's a pretty cool unicorn guy
Definitely my favorite
Oh yeah, don't forget this. I'm 99% sure it's Nigel, he mentioned Pokémon and shit in his fimfic profile.https://mlpol.net/vx/res/66436.html
I remember that thread, and I agree it reeks of Nigel.He never rated my metapod trainer ;_;
A screencap of Nigels ludicrous DA gallery, which he runs under the same name as his fimfic account.
Gives you a nice idea about his visuals arts skill and what he considers worthy of being published. Includes "spritework" for his anticipated Pokemon romhack (which he thinks falls under fair use. Ask Pokemon Uranium for more on that.)
If Nigels storytelling and this botched pixelart is any indication, we can be thankful to Nintendo this likely wont be on the internet for longer than a few weeks.
>>3695>Sonic character creator
Holy shit that's just sad. Nigel what is your malfunction??? Not even using Furry Doll Maker which at least looks SOMEWHAT presentable?
HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A JOHNNY TEST OC I SEE!?
It fucking is, holy shit.
*chuckles*>>3698>>3699>they didn't click it
So are y'all pretending to be retarded, or are you just unfamiliar with Persona? Because some ledditbabby did this a while back on /vp/, when he got so butthurt over my Zekkonian Pokemon he decided to post my "Buff Akira" art to try and use that against me.
When you get to my age, you'll look back on these days and cringe.
If I was pulling my fanfiction from Fimfic.net, I would have surely also deleted it from fanfic.net, right?
Rabid Glimmer fans mobbed me, reported me, sucked Eldorado's cock, and got me banned. While also getting that fic deleted. That's all.
Tell me, are my other fics also up?
You have one of those? Didn't know you were that low. Even for fimfic that's sad.>Eldorado
Literally who>got me banned
Don't worry sugar, you'll always have Writing.com, right? ;))))))>are my other fics also up?
Looked like you removed your fimfic account entirely, did you not do that?
>>3700>>they didn't click it
Oh I clicked it, and it's just as pathetic as it looks.>some ledditbaby did this
Uh, you uploaded it. You wouldn't upload art that isn't yours, would you? ,':)>when you get to my age, you'll look back on these days and cringe
I think we're all past sixteen, and I don't need to look back to cringe. That's what your DA is for.
Wondered who inspires him the most in this wonderful website of artistic talent, and I found this absolute unit. They take photos of their computer screens and the pictures are just profile shots followed by walls of text with almost no organization whatsoever.
Some extra "special" art from Nigel.
I had an idea.
What if I went out and found for you someone who actually was all those Doubleplus Ungood Badwords you kept trying to associate with me, only more?
A con-artist who makes actual fucking money off his genuine cult, which doubles as a tax scam?
A morbidly obese and mentally ill "Autodidact" who attracts impressionable young children into his reddit-esque cult of circlejerkery through the magic of Harry Potter and MLP fanfiction, and scares donations out of them through logically-unsound ravings of impending doom and literally-magical divinely-enhanced AI Singularities?
I'm talking about Elizer Yudowsky, founder of LessWrong and writer of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.
Nah. We have you, once you get tired of this site and move on perhaps, but for now we're going to suck your mantits until they have no more meme milk you sad fucking lolcow.
Isn't Elizer an AI theorist? Like, a scientist who could make some progress toward harnessing AI safely?
Who the fuck are you compared to a literal theoretical computer scientist?
Whelp, mantits confirmed then.
But in all seriousness, doesn't the idea intrigue you? What if, instead of trying to pretend someone with Bad Cartoon Opinions is le cringiest cringe of all, you memed on a genuine cult that actually does things wrong?
Your attempts to avoid being beaten are admirable Nigel, but every filly needs to know when she's done wrong. Now come over here you fag.
Oh, jesus christ. You rabid Glimmer fanbabbies really are redditors!
If you'd like some tips on how to perfect your "Regular Person" impression, normal people don't have any respect for some blowhard wannabe autodidact who thinks his toaster will turn him into Kirito if he's a good boy and cast him down into hell if he's a bad boy.
"Unsafe AI" is a meme, and if there is a way to create a stable set of absolute and unquestionable moral rules an AI would have to abide by, it won't come from a website of liberal-fascist far-left circlejerkers who openly long for the imaginary pseudo-communist "Two trains full of people will be crashed into each other just so I, a Super Elite, won't be 5 minutes late for my job!" world of their dreams.
So, not being aware of someone's entire psychological profile when none was presented = reddit. Gotcha.>Kirito
I bet you read ALL the saucy SAO fanfiction, mister good-taste-manifest.>if there is a way to create a stable set of absolute and unquestionable moral rules an AI would have to abide by, it won't come from a website of liberal-fascist far-left circlejerkers who openly long for the imaginary pseudo-communist "Two trains full of people will be crashed into each other just so I, a Super Elite, won't be 5 minutes late for my job!" world of their dreams.
Do you know anything about, well, anything? The train question is nothing but an exercise in moral philosophy. A thought experiment. Sometimes in life, there really are no right answers and for you to pretend that there's no value to exploring theoretical scenarios like that is just arrogant. Also liberal-fascists? You still only have one name and you haven't explained anything. Instead you claim his politics and that he wrote some Harry Potter shit. You didn't cite anything, you didn't give us much of a lead except his name.
Also "pseudo communist?" Are you shitting me? What's communist about hypothetical conundrums? Serious, what the fuck are you talking about?>"Unsafe AI" is a meme
Opinion discarded, spend five minutes reading the bare basics of AI literature.
Jesus christ the amount of shit you can pack into a single paragraph is just, mind-boggling.
I got banned from posting on r/the_donald. Liberals don't like that lol
Heh, yeah. Why do you think he's a 'professional writer?'
Fanfic writers are some of the most low IQ subhumans on earth.
Then again, this site and its users exist.
So, why were you posting to a reddit about right-wing politics that you yourself freely associate with leftists? Is it because you agree with them and their values despite proclaiming them to be liberals?
>>3700>When you get to my age, you'll look back on these days and cringe.
lol hey mom I referenced 1984 out of context again!
See, Nigel, this is why everyone compares you to CWC. You reference things you clearly don't understand in situations where those references don't even remotely apply, and you think it makes you sound intelligent. It's the same as when you start calling people SJWs or Commissars for not liking your fanfiction. Chris-chan does the same thing, constantly.>A con-artist who makes actual fucking money off his genuine cult, which doubles as a tax scam?>A morbidly obese and mentally ill "Autodidact" who attracts impressionable young children into his reddit-esque cult of circlejerkery through the magic of Harry Potter and MLP fanfiction, and scares donations out of them through logically-unsound ravings of impending doom and literally-magical divinely-enhanced AI Singularities?
What the actual fuck are you talking about?>I'm talking about Elizer Yudowsky, founder of LessWrong and writer of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Oh, well that clears it up. Literally who? >>3711>But in all seriousness, doesn't the idea intrigue you? What if, instead of trying to pretend someone with Bad Cartoon Opinions is le cringiest cringe of all, you memed on a genuine cult that actually does things wrong?
No, we don't care about whoever that guy is. You're our resident lolcow, not him.>>3713>all that shit you wrote
I'll say it again, what the actual fuck are you talking about?
Stop feeding the trolls and they will go away.
Ban the raiders and they will stop trying to infiltrate this site and subvert it.
Remember, these people own the MLP subreddits, tumblr, MLP forums, and Fimfic. These people can freely use Deviantart and the Discord servers where they plan their cross-site raids.
Does this incestuous clique belong on this website, where they outnumber the users and mods?
Should everyone just give up on /mlpol/ if it's going to end up like 4/mlp/, where vocal minorities of crying redditors can distract us from real issues and actual discussion by crying about someone with Bad Cartoon Opinions like "He doesn't like Poochie"?
you are not going to weasel your way out of this by ratting out some random faggot elsewhere Nigel. Go make a thread about this faggot on /sp/ and shovel a mountain of shit there, maybe some people will take interest. These threads are now our Designated Nigel shitting street. You dont get to tell people what they laugh at, thats not how lolcow farming works. You already ruined your personal and writers reputation. I dare you not to go full "You are the shitheads! Every last one of you"
on us. You will regret that.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPQlpGFWNgE
That character really has layers.
There's something I've been meaning to ask.
I attracted the attention of the Glimmer Raiders by not liking her, on Fimfic.
And when I wrote a fic where my OC kicked her ass, they got so mad, they sucked mod cock to get me banned.
So... Why continue it here? You've won, by purging another thoughtcriminal from "Your" fanfiction website. Why carry this liberal angry mob mentality with you across multiple sites?
There are political parties that want white people exterminated. There are senators who'll serve those parties for cash. And you're here, shamemobbing me and calling me the worst person in the world because I voluntarily donated free labour to create a product you don't like.
What do you hope to achieve with this, and what do you hope to achieve in life?
Eh, I'll entertain your question, Nigel. Can't hurt whether you accept the answer or not either way.
First, most of us really don't have that much of an opinion on Starlight either way. I personally think she was a decent villain, and that they could have handled her better after her redemption.
Second, we don't have a positive opinion of Fimfiction. At all. The majority opinion is that it's essentially pony Reddit with fanfiction: a hugbox where the vast majority of fiction is made just so people can get updoots and participation trophies for their work.
Third, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm just sticking here to /mlpol/ to laugh at these threads and at you.
Fourth, we keep messing with you because you're a lolcow. You refuse to let criticism go, and you keep sperging out about the tiniest bit of hate your (admittedly) shit fanfiction gets. And that means we get to keep milking you for your reactions and we get to keep laughing because of it.
Fifth, we're not liberals. Some of us might be former liberals, but most here right now are different varieties of right-wing nationalist or right-wing libertarian, with the most extreme of these positions being either Neo-Reactionary for authoritarians or Anarcho-Capitalist for libertarians.
You attracted attention because your self mastubatory fanfiction is a fat runny turd you enthusiastically call literature. You attracted attention because, despite being told what we think of your turd/literature, you insist that true conservatives would like it simply because it panders to us, and that anyone who hates it must be a liberal. You attracted attention because you are, have, and will continue to ask for it by posting multiple threads fishing for compliments and are shocked to discover that the attention you get is negative, by your own fault no less. You must be so fearful of rejection that you can't fathom that you don't belong in the liberal camp because of your conservative views, and you don't belong in the conservative camp because you're a self absorbed piece of shit who thinks he can do no wrong and writes terrible fanfiction.
That is why you're being bashed, and your neurosis means you'll be an eternal source of entertainment as long as you're here. Maybe you spent long hours typing out your fanfiction, maybe you think you did your best, did your research, put in the effort to make it the best it can be, but your best just isn't good enough, you'll get no participation trophies here, you're entitled to no praise from us just because you spent time on this, you'll earn our respect based only on your own merit, and on this particular project of yours, you have no merit to warrant respect, you deserve no respect based on your response to criticism alone. Your attitude is everything wrong with millennials, are you surprised when you're hated because of the very behaviours displayed by the left?
Well, those are some enlightening responses. Apparently I'm not just a Millennial now, but everything wrong with them.
Would anyone else like to throw more worthless "Because fuck you, also we aren't reddit" platitudes around?
Would anyone else like to project their insecurities and personal failings onto me, while pretending that my responses to the rare pieces of criticism worth a damn were actually quite positive?
Kinda figured that would be the response.
Back to milking, then!
There you again with that "Milking" talk. Perhaps, next time, you'll call this a "Beatdown", instead of a "Milking session". It won't change what this is, but let's see if I can understand you better.
There seems to be some kind of disconnect between how you see the world and what it is.
In your world, I am the bad guy. Why?
Am I acting reprehensibly by speaking to you in a manner you do not approve of?
Am I acting reprehensibly by having views that differ from yours?
Am I acting reprehensibly by having a hobby you don't like?
First off I haven't read your story I am only basing this on what others have analyzed and posted from it.
I would not say you are the bad guy. I think the crux of the matter is that Silver Star comes out as the bad guy, and his total lack of compassion and empathy is what makes him the bad guy. Ignoring the apparent length of the story (War and Peace is a long ass fucking book as an example), Silver Stars behavior is what is the most glaring error, especially if you are trying to win people over to his side.
Do you think I should make Silver more compassionate and empathetic in future episodes? I was trying to set things up for a "He's a cunt at first but friendship warms his frozen heart and softens him up" character arc.
I am not what you would call an avid reader of books or good at writing. So it is hard to know what would be a good continuation to redeem Silver Star. Just the little passage (pic related) that someone posted is for lack of better words, and to say it a bit mildly, a bit evil.
So whether it is best to start from the beginning rewriting, and viewing this as the first draft, as Glim!Glam suggest. Or to continue the story to redeem Silver Star, I don't really know. I think it is easier to rewrite. There have been plenty of examples at least in film and tv, where they have changed tings completely after the pilot was made and they got feedback, so there is nothing wrong in rewriting characters.
If you want to redeem Silver Star, he has a big hill he must climb. You can do the "easy" but cliché way out where he was dreaming or all this happened in an alternative universe and somehow he is sent to the real Equestria whew he wakes up without memories, money, or the knowledge of his own powers. Make him suffer and then naturally learn the right morals.
But what is best I don't know. If you do rewrite you got much of the stories and progressions you want to happen, you just have to lay the story out in a different way. Give Silver Star some weaknesses, make him more compassionate, humble, and generally into a nicer guy. He might even not be able to help anyone, or change anything, but he is trying and the reader will sympathies with him because deep down they know he is right.
But I am just throwing out ideas and they might be dumb ideas that you should not follow. I frankly am not sure what is best to do in a literary work.
Nice, that's what I was going for with the whole "Never interrupt me!" bit. I figured it'd be a bit stupid if this frontier-justice hard-nosed semi-hypocritical templar motherfucker suddenly became an absolute paragon of virtue for this one scene, and then went back to someone who needs to become more virtuous when it was over. I always hated generic vanilla protagonists. Especially the kind you see in HiE works. A protagonist should be someone interesting! Someone who learns and grows!
This is going to sound autistic, but I've thought up ways to fix a lot of the dumb shit MLPFIM has done, and I'm going to do those things in my fic, one by one.
Without just undoing the dumb shit, like the fics where Twilight randomly loses her Alicornhood.
The problem with Alicornhood was that it came too early for Twilight, and instead of trying to sell us on the idea that Twilight isn't done and there's still adventures she can go on, it instead chose to try and sell us on the idea that Twilight is Complete now, and Perfect, and "Done" as a character, so she's "Good enough" for Alicornification. They immediately threw away her relatable panic problem, and then only wrote her as a cute bookworm every so often when they remembered that she's supposed to be one. It also encouraged the writers to try and make the other Mane Six members match Twilight in stature, or at least rival her. And that's dumb.
Rarity owning shops everywhere and having infinite money? Dumb. It's hard to write stories about the struggles of an artist when an artist has none. Some evil villain screws Rarity over and she loses everything, and she has to build herself back up.
Celestia perpetually getting dicked on... At this point, she's less respected than Yamcha in this fanbase. What we need is a Lesson Zero finale moment times ten. A villain shows up and worfs Celestia, things get bad, blah blah blah, and then the heroes make a stupid decision at some point. The villain reaches his perfect form or whatever. And Equestria is doomed. And then the worfed-ten-minutes-ago Celestia calmly gets back up and one-shots the villain and is very disapponted in Twilight. And then potentially temporarily demotes Twilight to Unicorn for a while. Until she does some smart thing, solves some mystery, saves the day on her own by taking apart some backup plan the villain used, and earns her wings back.
The problem with Good Discord is that his redemption didn't feel genuine. He didn't develop an appreciation for the controlled chaos and exciting unpredictability of everyday life, he didn't have fun annoying Twilight by abusing the exact wording of her "Discord, you are forbidden from using your chaos magic to hurt ponies!" order to make rollercoasters and trippy weird shit in Ponyville everypony but her loves, only to suddenly realize he actually enjoys making ponies have fun with him more than he enjoys annoying Twilight(I call dibs on that idea), he just developed a desire to pork Fluttershy after she showed him kindness specifically to manipulate him and get him addicted to her approval. It's always the quiet ones, as they say, but that really doesn't fit the tone of this show. Also, now that he's good, he's too powerful. He can't do anything, and that's dumb. The Discord Redemption episode wasn't good for kids, something like "Fun is good but it's better when others have fun with you" would be better. This just tries to do the "My love can change the bad boy" fantasies no child in the target audience has. Anyway, from then on, Discord went from cool Q-like force of nature to whiny loser who's basically that edgelord foul-mouthed tryhard who won't stop wearing and mentioning "Guaranteed to impress children!" topics when your kid cousins are around. He needs to either get fixed or get convinced to leave this plane of existence and never return.
The problem with random siblings is that they cheapen the characters. Pinkie's family can stay, I guess Shining can exist but he did military stuff a lot so he was barely ever around while Twilight was a filly, and Zephyr is never mentioned because he should not have been made.
Sparity... At this point, it's never going to happen, and it can't happen. Spike needs to get over Rarity and find some cool Dragon girl to visit arcades and theatres and milkshake shops with, because that's what kids should consider a good relationship.
The problem with Glimmer is...
Well, to sum it up quickly, she's an unrepentant and selfish cunt written badly. If you like her, you only think you do because you like the idea of one of the five things attempted at once with this character. She has the craziest fans because of leftist cognitive dissonance. She also has some confused non-crazy fans. And some non-confused non-crazy fans who get it and wish Glimmer wasn't such a goddamn mess.
She's a poorly-written redeemed villain who doesn't seem to feel any sufficient level of remorse for her incredibly evil actions. And this would be alright if it was intentional. She would be FUCKING HILARIOUS in Rick and Morty. Go on, imagine her genociding a city because someone cut her off. Imagine time travel being done to unfuck the damage she caused. Imagine her being a cunt every time Morty brings it up, as if this is no big deal from her perspective. Imagine her randomly casting some spell on Rick and Morty and anyone else at a moment's notice, violating the existences of characters you don't care about, allowing you to laugh at their pain. She'd be hilarious in a universe where her dickishness can be funny, but the writers want her to be charmingly dickish except when she's not, which doesn't work here. The writers don't have the balls to embrace the fact that not everyone will love Glimmer, in the same way not everyone loved Paul from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl: The Anime. They don't have the balls to go all-in with any real concrete personality for someone who can be the only sane mare one minute and a "Hilarious" asshole the next. The writers want you to love Glimmer. They will berate you for not loving Glimmer. They are even willing to make other characters look bad so she can look better. They are willing to turn Trixie into her foil, but in the shitty tvtropes "Cool guy and loser guy duo" sense instead of the proper sense. The writers want to insult MLP and call Pinkie Pie a terrible friend and worse sister. The writers want to call ponies singing to solve problems stupid. And the writers are using this show-ruining Mary Sue to do it.
She never left her villain mindset behind, and she isn't willing to put herself out there and try to redeem herself like her "Inspiration" did. She's "Been Redeemed" a few times, but they never stick because no internal change has happened.
No internal change will ever happen, because the writers think she's perfect, and they want you to get with the program and love her like they do. And they're willing to rub loved characters all over her (Discord, Trixie, Maud) to try and make their love rub off on her.
The writers want you to love her more than you loved Derpy.
Say what you will about Chloe from FOP, but I only find her annoying because she's a Mary Sue. Glimmer is a Mary Sue, and Anti-Sue at the same time, AND a fundamentally unpleasant person.
And she's shoehorned into bad scenes in bad episodes because the writers want to sell this "Formerly-evil student looking for redemption" character as a god-tier master everyone looks up to and asks for advice in everything.
Her creation was lazy, her motivation for evil was laughable BEFORE she ruined thousands of lives and just plain sad afterward, her redemption was rushed and "Finalized" so early that no actual redemption happened, and she's an all-around unpleasant person who has no interest in improving as a person. The second worst kind of fan is attracted to this for the same reason Tomoki from Heaven's Lost Property appeals to them.
The Wonderbolts? They were initially built up as famous fliers and stuntponies, some kind of motorbike stunt group plus the Red Arrows. Then they were built up as cool military dudes, but they fail every time they're shown onscreen. Even in season one. Especially in season one. Rarity was able to accidentally kick their asses. Spike didn't even bother splatting them, he just traps them in a water tower. But the show treats them like they're the coolest guys in the world, even though Rainbow Dash is faster, cooler, and more heroic than them, and a canonically better flier. And then, because Rainbow Dash becomes a member of the Wonderbolts too easily, they have to be written as incompetent jerks so plots can happen. At this point, I think her endgame should be leaving the Wonderbolts, going on a redemption adventure with Lightning Dust, and making her own flying group. Or becoming the new Wonderbolt Captain and fixing it.
The Changelings? Well...
The Changelings were faking redemption all along. The whole "Babby's First Pony DND Game" adventure was actually just a set of fake memories implanted into Trixie and Glimmer in their sleep. Discord doesn't remember anything, Thorax is a brainwashed sleeper agent(who might decide he liked being good and be the only changeling to turn good for real? ...nah, that legion of superheroes episode did that already kinda), and the whole race was putting on their "Glittery sparkly goody-goody-four-shoes" acts so nopony would suspect that such a "Lame" race of non-changelings could secretly be faking it to mock ponies to their faces. And so anyone who starts wondering why so many ponies are disappearing across Equestria and getting their love drained in underground hives can be shamed for being an intolerant speciesist bigot.
The Diversity Six and the Friendship School, people on this site have already talked about how dumb a Leftist Academy of Goodthink is. The Diversity Six haven't appeared yet and never will, because they're unfinished meme characters who are all appearances and no substance in the case of those that bothered to be monster races, and in the case of the non-monster-race ones, they're nothing. Bad bland self-inserts with no proper strong character traits. Twilight will make a boarding school of magic when she's fourty. While doing Celestia-esque stuff to encourage friendships in this boarding school. And she'll be a proper headmaster who'll hire actual goddamn teachers.
Twilight's stupid castle can't be salvaged. It's an ugly crystal playset that doesn't fit the town or its owner. It needs to be demolished, and Silver's going to go Extreme Home Upgrades on that thing. Twilight deserves what is simultaneously a grand and beautiful house that fits her status, and a simple and quiet and open library-tree-observatory that suits her. Including a room to torrent books. I know that wouldn't fly in the show, I just think a magical book-torrenting room would be something every magic librarian should have, especially this one. Also, her whole "Idolizes Celestia" and "Can't tell when things really are lost causes(such as glimmer)" problems are character flaws she should work to overcome. Some rerailment, back to the smart hero she was in the show's early days, needs to happen. DBZ fights are cool and all but the mare needs some mysteries to solve.
If that's honestly what you were going for then good news: you've done a very good job of setting Silver up to be a cunt. Your problem is you made him too much of a cunt. If you want to actually redeem him it's going to take more than just a sappy "he learns the magic of friendship" MLP style redemption. Before anything else can happen, you're going to need to have him own up to the simple fact that his behavior is not just bad, it's reprehensible. First and foremost he needs to acknowledge that what he did to Glimmer and by extension to Twilight is not just wrong, but unbelievably fucked up.
Precisely what Twilight's duties are as Princess of Friendship is a little vaguely defined and that's the series writers' fault, but at an absolute minimum we know that she has chosen Glimmer's reformation as a personal project in the scope of that role. Whatever else she may be she's an officially recognized authority figure in this world and her decisions should mean something. Whatever stupid powers and genius intelligence you want Silver to have, he's still a subject to this country's wacky quasi-monarchy and is obligated to show deference to a Princess' authority. Furthermore, even without Glimmer being under Twilight's protection, Silver doesn't have the authority or the right to just override whatever judicial process Equestria has and just pass sentence on another pony like that.
Here's a scenario for you. Imagine that your girlfriend is a school guidance counselor. She has a problem student she's counseling that she believes she can save. You're familiar with the girl she's counseling and you think she's just irredeemably evil. You solve the problem by abducting the child, throwing her in the trunk of your car, driving her out to the middle of the woods and leaving her there to die. You either don't tell your girlfriend or make up some plausible explanation for why the child vanished and tell her that. Is what you did ok? Because this is pretty much what you have Silver do in Chapter 6. One way or the other you need to address it.
This is not even taking into account the things he did in previous parts of the story. I'm not even finished slogging through chapter 1 yet and it already this character seems pretty close to irredeemable. He talks about hard work and earning your own way in the world but he basically uses graft and extortion to grow wealthy so he can dedicate his time to what basically amounts to leisure pursuits. He's essentially a mob boss. It's surprising Celestia would allow someone like this to operate in Equestria, let alone in Canterlot, maybe the implication is that he's supposed to be flying under her radar somehow, I don't know.
Some of the points you make about the series writing are in line with criticisms I have of the show, but you need to set the things in your own universe to right before you start trying to remake the canon in order to better suit your vision.
This post right here sums up exactly what is so frustrating about talking to you. You can see the faults in Glimmer's character but you can't recognize the same faults in your own character.>She's a poorly-written redeemed villain who doesn't seem to feel any sufficient level of remorse for her incredibly evil actions. And this would be alright if it was intentional. She would be FUCKING HILARIOUS in Rick and Morty. Go on, imagine her genociding a city because someone cut her off. Imagine time travel being done to unfuck the damage she caused. Imagine her being a cunt every time Morty brings it up, as if this is no big deal from her perspective. Imagine her randomly casting some spell on Rick and Morty and anyone else at a moment's notice, violating the existences of characters you don't care about, allowing you to laugh at their pain. She'd be hilarious in a universe where her dickishness can be funny, but the writers want her to be charmingly dickish except when she's not, which doesn't work here. The writers don't have the balls to embrace the fact that not everyone will love Glimmer, in the same way not everyone loved Paul from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl: The Anime. They don't have the balls to go all-in with any real concrete personality for someone who can be the only sane mare one minute and a "Hilarious" asshole the next. The writers want you to love Glimmer. They will berate you for not loving Glimmer. They are even willing to make other characters look bad so she can look better. They are willing to turn Trixie into her foil, but in the shitty tvtropes "Cool guy and loser guy duo" sense instead of the proper sense. The writers want to insult MLP and call Pinkie Pie a terrible friend and worse sister. The writers want to call ponies singing to solve problems stupid. And the writers are using this show-ruining Mary Sue to do it.
Literally every single word of this paragraph could be used to describe your own character, Silver Star. What you see as the writers' attachment to Glimmer and desire to have her liked mirrors your own desire for Silver (as well as Silver's desire for throbbing stallion dong in his throat lol).
It's possible that I'm completely wrong about you. It could be that you are actually a genius writer who has constructed this fiction to be some kind of metafictional satire in which you create the world's most universally unlikable OC to provoke a reaction, and in so doing satirize Glimmer's reappearance in the show and the fan controversy surrounding it. But somehow, I don't think that's the case. I think that you have a raging hateboner for one character and the writers who inserted her into the show, and it completely blinds you to everything wrong with your own character and your own writing.
>ITT Nigel bitches about Glimmer being a Mary Sue
>neglecting that Silver "Tut tut tut, it looks like penis" Star is a far more egregious Mary Sue
>posturing as though differing opinions are invalid cuz reasons
Did I hurt you at some point?>>3743
I understand your frustrations, but please understand: I'm going to make Silver less of a cunt as time goes on, because he's going to grow as a person over time. Glimmer is never going to be less of a cunt, because her writers think she's perfect and everypony else just needs to get on board with that.>>3741>>3742
Nice! That's the intended reaction. Silver's got a lot of work to do.
I'm not sure if the scenario really applies to an irredeemable murderer who fucked with random Ponyville citizens and mindfucked the ponies who forgave her, but I think I could get more emotion out of the story if I made Twilight see it like that.
What a degenerate. Who the fuck likes We Bare Bears?
Glimmernigel, this is your mindset.
>>3746>I'm not sure if the scenario really applies to an irredeemable murderer who fucked with random Ponyville citizens and mindfucked the ponies who forgave her, but I think I could get more emotion out of the story if I made Twilight see it like that.
See, the whole problem is you're still not getting it. You had your character do something that cannot be in any way justified. You can't resolve the situation in a way that both you and the reader will like. Forget about Glimmer for a second, arguing over whether or not she's redeemable is a waste of time at this point. At this point I'm willing to play devil's advocate and agree with you that she's evil. It still doesn't justify what Silver did. It should have been Twilight's decision what to do with Glimmer, Silver had no right to jump the gun and attack her. If he wanted to put Glimmer on trial he should have brought the matter to Twilight, not taken it upon himself.
I can already tell what you're thinking: you're going to write a conversation scene between Twilight and Silver where she starts out angry at him, but he convinces her that Glimmer was evil, so she eventually decides he did the right thing. It's not going to work, the reader won't like it and won't gain any sympathy for Silver because the central issue wasn't resolved. The central issue is less what Silver did to Glimmer and more what Silver did to Twilight.
I'll say it again: Twilight assumed responsibility for Glimmer by giving her a redemption, and it was her prerogative to do so. Glimmer was her old nemesis, not Silver's. Twilight and her friends had the encounter with her in Our Town, not Silver. All the time travel shit that she did was about fucking with Twilight, not fucking with Silver. Twilight, despite what she'd done to her, chose to give Glimmer another chance to redeem herself, and by all appearances Glimmer was making an effort. Again the whole issue is that you just plain don't understand these characters that well. If you understood Twilight's character at all, you would realize that she would never forgive Silver for doing what he did; it doesn't matter if he was right about Glimmer or not. You set up Silver and Twilight to be some kind of romantic couple or at least friends, yet you had Silver do something that would create an irreconcilable conflict between them. Before the story can move on, the conflict needs to be resolved. There are only two possible ways to resolve it that work. One, you can have Silver apologize to Twilight, who will not forgive him until he makes it right. In order to make it right, he will have to go off into whatever dimension he sent Glimmer into and bring her back. That is probably not something you'd be willing to do. Two, the relationship between Twilight and Silver ends by necessity, because they now have an irreconcilable wedge between them. I'm guessing you don't want to do that either. It's called writing yourself into a corner. The third way, the way you're planning to go, where Silver just convinces Twilight he was right and she should just accept his decision like a good little puppet character whose only role in the story is to fluff your character's dick, is amateurish and readers will hate it. Don't do it.
If you really want to send Glimmer off into Dimension X or whatever because you hate her, fine. But you handled it wrong. Glimmer should not be out of the story yet. That fight shouldn't have happened, or at least it shouldn't have ended the way it did. The way I would do it would be to have Silver and Glimmer run into each other at the party. Silver gets angry at Glimmer because all of his reasons. Glimmer defends herself and gets angry, tells him piss off, I'm reformed. They argue (not for 25,000 words though, and leave the ideological crap out of it). It ends with Glimmer stomping off. Twilight meanwhile saw the whole thing. She's upset with Silver and sticks up for Glimmer. Silver gets pissed at her, "how can you stick up for that monster?" etc etc. Twilight gets pissed at him. They storm off and don't speak to each other for a bit. Now you've basically got two interesting story dynamics to work with, instead of an unsolvable conflict. You've got an interpersonal conflict between Twilight, Silver and Glimmer, and you've got a separate relationship issue between Twilight and Silver. Both of those things can be dealt with over subsequent chapters. You can play up the tension for a bit, then have a scene in which Twilight, Glimmer and Silver all talk about Glimmer's redemption and whether or not she should be forgiven. At that point, if you want to end it with Twilight deciding it's okay for Silver to cunt punt Glimglam into another dimension, that's up to you; it's your story. I probably still wouldn't, but that's me. But either way the ultimate decision should be made by Twilight.
Chapter 6 of this story just plain needs to be torn up and rewritten, the way you wrote it is a dead end. There's no way around it.
Yes, you are so lacking in Football you could be an honorary Seattle Seahawk
I remember that GET like it was yesterday..>Tfw no trolls/shills to wage war against
we are lacking a couple hundred regulars to cultivate a healthy raiding community
>>3748>what is obvious joke
Putting that aside, am I being compared to some anti-brony weirdo who thinks watching MLP is an inherently childish and degenerate thing, or am I being accused of being that guy in disguise? I know it doesn't matter either way, but come on, for the record.>>3750
I was planning on doing a side story where Glimmer gets trapped in that "Sombra War Timeline" universe she created and has to grow as a person to survive and help to save it as an ordinary soldier on the battlefield, and Silver shows up when the plot's done because he has to bring her back, but she decides she likes going all Quantum Leap and helping timelines instead of ruining them, but if you think that belongs in the main plot, I'll see if I can fit it in there.
>>3754>Silver shows up when the plot's done because he has to bring her back
Is that becuase Twilight demanded it or because Silver got a change of heart? What is the reason?
Silver decided to check up on her, expecting her to have been specifically trying to make this timeline she created worse out of spite.
>>3709>"They asked how well I understood theoretical physicscomputer science.>I said I had a theoretical degree in physicscomputer science. They said, 'welcome aboard.'"
Now, in complete fairness, '''AI''' and ''AI'' is abit of a meme.
If we could create the first steps of 'living' machines with brains that utilize 'M'MI tech, then that would be cool and then we can talk sweety.Until then, we'll need to harvest more dead babies for their science juice.Until, of course, we can process specialized cells into other things, I personally love the idea of grafting a second neural-network onto every'bodies' spine via their own blood supply, I think it would be hilarious if those same people ended up with horrible side-effect deformities like increased pain receptors or states of sudden psychosis, as science requires things be done simply in its namesake alone.
Just be GLaD to be alive.>>3706
Oh my fucking god, I was going to bring this up in the other thread but I've been oh so busy the past few days bb.
I can't believe you're so fucking dumb that you bring it up unprompted, oh my lord senpai, save me from Glimmernigel.
I'll bring it up in the other thread (your obsessions and HP&tMOR) because it isn't relative in this one (and I seriously didn't expect you to do this before I could get to your weird obsessive but not-neurotic nature of these kinds of things you 'remember to loathe.'
(Oh my lord, what are you doing.)
Found a nice pic. Your thoughts?
That you need a better pic.
God, you're egotistical. And so are your friends.
Why should I bend over backwards to please you, or your little "9gag army" from reddit? Why do you feel entitled to my respect? You are an unpleasant person, and a cowardly bully. So are your friends. You have given me no reasons to like you, respect you, or give any weight to your words. You're butthurt children on a school playground.
What are you offering me? Not money. You attacked first, so are you saying that you'll stop attacking if I "Capitulate" and become what you consider a good person?
What would I have to do, to become a better person in your eyes? To apologize for not liking your waifu, to apologize for upsetting you by admitting that I do not like your waifu, and to apologize for being a mean old pesky white male with free thought and individual tastes and standards and the ability to remember the good old days before you and your enablers were here.
There's a reason why people don't apologize to SJWs when they know what SJWs are and how they operate.
Are you currently crusading for "Fat Acceptance" or "Pedophilia Acceptance"? No, you're currently crusading for "Glimmer Acceptance", and you're doing so with your usual tactics, your usual tricks, and your usual lies. Your usual IdPol "I identify you as a meanie yikesy cringey triggererer lolcishetscum shitlord and I FEEL that you must stop being so mean!" bullshit.>inb4 you ignore everything else I say>inb4 "So you're saying glimmer=pedophilia? lmao yikes how cringey"
You can't argue against my reasoning for why Glimmer is a poorly-written Poochie and hilariously bad Mary Sue, so you want to insult me until I get tired of your reddit army's antics, I prove that I'm the bigger person, I give you what you want, and I "Take back" what I said about leftist politics- I mean a leftist character.
Then again, last time a ban was placed on Glimmer being spammed on-site and used as something to "Trigger" people into complaining about your bullshit, you decided to retreat to your Discord circlejerks for a few months, to lick your wounds and plan your next attacks against the man who just might be the man who ruined your last raid against this site and its users, starting with the one you hate the most.
You're here to get revenge for your waifu, and it's stupid. This is a fictitious character! It's one thing for one of you crybabies to get this mad and this dishonest when someone says "Studies show that mixed-race people are more likely to develop heart disease" or "Mathematically speaking, there are around seventy criminal black people in America for every one law-abiding black citizen" or even "Show me the black Tolstoy, the black Mozart, and the black Tesla", but you...
You aren't just getting this mad over someone who doesn't share your political views breathing the same air as you. You're getting this mad over someone who doesn't like your favourite noncanon fictional horse not being banned from every pony site you can access.
You're mad, you're reaching, you're lying, and you're embarassing yourself. You're throwing around 4chan words like "Lolcow" in liberal ways because you're this bad at hiding what you are when "Agitated".
So, please, do go on.
Tell me how I trigger you. Tell me how I make you haha and angery and feel the big cringe. Tell me how many uncomfs you are having. Call this conversation all the negative words you know, and tell me who's winning what in your head.
Tell me how you feel you and your seven friends=everyone in the world that matters, because you can form a consensus opinion in your little discord room.
Tell me I'm a mean, mad, straight white man.
Do you really expect to fool anyone here with the lies you use so liberally?
Where do you think you are?
First, stop pretending to possess Internet E.S.P.
Second, if you'd like to pare all that down to some kind of polite inquiry, without projecting unfounded imputations of malice upon me, I'd be more than happy to answer it.
I think it's hilariously mediocre.
It should be the responsibility of the artist (that 'responsibility' is to their own self interest and their benefit) to help themselves improve.
Sure, critics should give 'good' feedback, but the people being criticized should maybe not try to offload all the responsibility of self-reflection, self-assessment and self-improvement onto the critics to do the work for them.It's amazing that you have one user hounding you in gigantic multi-paragraph posts reviewing your entire story, just to provide you with criticism and in the process turn your worthless threads into something people like I might be able to pick up something of value, some idea or critical inspiration to use in my own possible stories.
The fact is that people, artist, writers for example ^:) might be able to for themselves
find the valuable ('positive') literary aspects of their work and to find for themselves the ways in which they can improve.
If someone is going to self-teach themselves they'll have to assume the responsibility of improving their ability and craft.>>3761>Tell me how I make you haha and angery and feel the big cringe. Tell me how many uncomfs you are having.
This made me laugh, you should just write comedy. Infact, this is a tragedy, so you're halfway there.
Nobody wants you to like Glimmer. The only true responsibilities you have are those concerning your self interest, anything else is you projecting an attack onto yourself by the people compelling you to improve, which you can (and do) readily ignore.
In light of that, it's amazing that you choose to point at everyone pointing at you and laughing, nobody cares if you apologize or don't.
You could very easily ignore everything except for the useful criticisms, but you don't seem to care for some criticisms over other less 'entertaining' ones, I wonder why.
You are the one making yourself the focus of any attention by caring so much.
I bet you're getting real sweaty because people are making fun of you and that's why you feel compelled to defend yourself and attack others, if you weren't you wouldn't be here 'defending' the things you can't even create a defence for and in the process attacking others in really convoluted ways.
If you weren't so sweaty or maybe self-righteous over this you wouldn't be making yourself the focus of attention."Moooo."
>>3762>projecting unfounded imputations of malice upon me
The pot calling the kettle just abandoned its family to continue its career as a criminal.
Ignoring how that attempt at wit doesn't even make sense, you're at least improving on restraining your projection.
Now, do you want a polite response, or not?
"The pot calling the kettle a nigger."
This has long since become circular. Nigel, shut the fuck up. You've acted a damn fool the entire time, and then bitched when you've been told to fuck off. You've engaged in the worst examples of circular reasoning I've ever seen. Your hypocrisy is legendary, and your deflections are fired off before criticisms LEGIT criticisms have been levied. You've been given plenty of opportunity to make suitable changes to your method and writing, but instead you patrol the board because you literally get a dopamine and endorphin rush from the conflict of being told to gtfo. Your work is shit. If it ever becomes not shit, you're welcome to come back and re-petition for upvotes, or whatever it is you fucking reddit shills get off on.
>>3761>"9gag army" from reddit
You literally frequent r/the_donald. Shut your whore mouth.>You attacked first
Objectively untrue. You spent several threads shilling your work, we got sick of it and told you to leave or git gud.>apologize for not liking your waifu, to apologize for upsetting you by admitting that I do not like your waifu, and to apologize for being a mean old pesky white male with free thought and individual tastes and standards>Are you currently crusading for "Fat Acceptance" or "Pedophilia Acceptance"?>your usual tactics, your usual tricks, and your usual lies. Your usual IdPol "I identify you as a meanie yikesy cringey triggererer lolcishetscum shitlord and I FEEL that you must stop being so mean!" bullshit.
Do I smell projection again? Where do I even begin? Someone has been deconstructing your shit fanfic line by line and you still pretend it's all feelings and conjecture driven by politics when it took him nearly a dozen posts just to START talking about politics. But you'll continue acting as if you're the sole arbiter of right-wing politics by painting a target on your back, begging people to kick you, and then screeching that we're policing your speech when all we're doing is rebutting and shit-talking you.>You can't argue against my reasoning for why Glimmer is a poorly-written Poochie and hilariously bad Mary Sue, so you want to insult me until I get tired of your reddit army's antics
We've argued against your reasoning, and you reject it because it's not your specific reasoning. We show you the mirror because you've claimed both literary and moral superiority to us even before we got hostile.>you decided to retreat to your Discord circlejerks for a few months, to lick your wounds and plan your next attacks against the man who just might be the man who ruined your last raid against this site and its users, starting with the one you hate the most
What are you even talking about? I don't have a fucking discord. I don't have a reddit account. I don't have tumblr. These two threads were my first direct exposure to your bullshit. You're projecting, AGAIN.>You're here to get revenge for your waifu, and it's stupid. This is a fictitious character!
Hence why it's so absurd how pissy you get about her in these exact threads. Most people here don't even care about Glimmer and instead post stuff of her specifically to piss you off because you're just that autistic. And yet, you went so far off the rails that you spent nearly 90k words screeching at a fictional character for politics they didn't have and character traits and actions that you literally made up specifically to make her sound more evil.>It's one thing for one of you crybabies to get this mad and this dishonest when someone says "Studies show that mixed-race people are more likely to develop heart disease" or "Mathematically speaking, there are around seventy criminal black people in America for every one law-abiding black citizen" or even "Show me the black Tolstoy, the black Mozart, and the black Tesla"
YOU. ARE. PROJECTING. WE AGREE ON ISSUES OF RACE. WE AGREE THAT NIGGERS COMMIT FIFTY PERCENT OF CRIME IN AMERICA DESPITE BEING 13-14% OF THE POPULATION. WE AGREE THAT MIXED RACE PEOPLE HAVE HIGHER DEPRESSION RATES, HIGHER RISK OF DISEASES IN GENERAL, HIGHER RATES OF GENETIC DEFECTS. READ MY LIPS: WE AGREE WITH THAT. Jesus christ you absolute mongrel.>You aren't just getting this mad over someone who doesn't share your political views breathing the same air as you. You're getting this mad over someone who doesn't like your favourite noncanon fictional horse not being banned from every pony site you can access.
Again, that's not what we care about. But I'll play devil's advocate and say that most of us actually love Glimglam and want her not to be banned here. What precisely is wrong with wanting to use screencaps, quotes, fanart, or memes with a fictional character, on a board that contains at least one-third people who watch the show that character comes from? Your argument is that showing any level of interest whether ironic or not in Glimmer is the same as being a goddamn commie, which is just absurd.>You're mad, you're reaching, you're lying, and you're embarassing yourself. You're throwing around 4chan words like "Lolcow" in liberal ways because you're this bad at hiding what you are when "Agitated".
Who deleted their fanfiction the moment it got the attention that they'd begged for for several threads? Who stomped their way across this site for months, constantly bitching and moaning at NOTHING? Who's cherrypicked side-arguments and tidbits instead of just turning their gaze toward the elephant in the room that is the DOCTORAL MOTHERFUCKING DISSERTATION ON HOW SHIT YOUR WRITING IS?
And don't even get me fucking started on the immense irony of someone on a chan-offshoot not liking when other channers use chan terms like "lolcow." What was that that you said about lolcows?>That's such a stupid newspeak word. What is a lolcow? A "cow" that you "milk" "lols" from.
This. This is only one of how many such rebuttals? Nigel, you've got Glim Glam giving an intensely surgical dissection, plus everyone else who has made it abundantly clear that your work is shit. In a court of law, you don't get
to dismiss the ruling of jury. Guess what? You have been judged
by a jury of your peers, no matter how much mental gymnastics you engage in to try and assuage your pathetic ego that they're not, or that their opinion doesn't matter.
Now, now. I'm at least attempting to have a reasonable discourse with our British friend here.
Granted, that may be because I'm currently drunk, but it's the thought that counts. I really should be writing instead, but dude wine lmao
Fine. I'm tempted to say hit him up on discord want his ID/#?
or on FiMfic, but you can discuss with him. Shitting on users for not sucking his dick however, well just wait and see
Oy vey. Why do you have that goy?
Chances are the dipshit shared them on multiple platforms. After all, finding his FiMFic was all it took to get his Fanfiction, his social connections, his interests outside pony, his DeviantArt page, and multiple people he knows. And his name too.
He's not exactly the most anonymous person on this site.
Oy vey goyim don't do that!1
I already have his ID anyway.
hopefully the Israeli wing of the ADL or fed services will finally recruit us for data forensics
kek. In reality, Glimmernigel is not big on security or privacy; if we use the same skills you boys did on Nigel to work data forensics, most privacy-minded people would be untouchable.
>>3774>Connecting your alias with your real identity
I wonder if his family knows that he writes wish fulfillment fanfiction about pastel horses.
I've been hinting at this to the retard himself since at least six months ago honestly hoping he would shoa himself for his own sake.
Instead the retard came back one time too many and I finally took an interest in it, had everything I wanted in an afternoon, he really is a free-range cow of the internet.
And he just doesn't stop either! When people come at him with his name and occupation, threaten him, he doesn't even reply to it, just continuing his screed like he's not digging himself into a hole too deep. It takes a special kind of stupid to feed the trolls when you're this un-secured.
History repeats itself, just last April I completed searching Turkish and American Registries for some 'We Wuz Roman Empire' roach with almost the same name.
That guy was smarter though (roach behaviour), completely nuked himself in my wake of lulztruction of his life so I gave up.
I had the same thoughts about the conflicts and how Twilight would react. Especially if Silver has any hope of ever being redeemed to the reader from what he did to Starlight then he must go searching for Starlight and do some soul searching
in there, confront himself with his shitty morality and how he's not actually perfect, but a real big scumbag after being scolded by Twilight as she's disillusioned of her puppy-love and adoration for him and their relationship dissolves in an instant, right then and there.
And if he ever finds Starlight, asks for her forgiveness on what he did after coming to terms that Twilight is right about him and hate his old self, just like Starlight hates her old self. Maybe along the way maybe even make it slightly interesting for the reader probably introducing a challenge Silver has to overcome by taking away some of his powers he pulls out of his ass at every moment and every scene with his dumb orange gem. There's no other way it can even be passable if the current chapter 6 stands with his abhorrent god complex and cruelty displayed.>The third way, the way you're planning to go, where Silver just convinces Twilight he was right and she should just accept his decision like a good little puppet character whose only role in the story is to fluff your character's dick, is amateurish and readers will hate it. Don't do it
Oh you see here's the thing, Nigel already laid the stepping stones for his puppy love waifu to just bend over for him with little effort, in the previous fifth chapter before the political sperging and attack with Glimmer even happened.
In his ideal FiM Twilight doesnt behave like Twilight because she's just another mouth piece of himself. Half of chapter 5 is just him complaining about the castle through twilight 'missing' things that Nigel misses. And then even said the exact same bile that came out of the OCs mouth about how Starlight 'is just used to being forgiven'.
From there it's uninteresting as more sue-y silver 'comedy' abruptly changes the mood with no transition. This shitfic takes away actual character growth, personality and achievements from characters because he doesn't like them or how they think. None of the words coming out of Twilight feel true to her character because it's just another mouthpiece for Nigel to sock puppet.
Nigel wants more penises for his ass and face, if anyone is available to fulfill his need. I doubt there are enough anons in the Internet, let alone Mlpol, but please pitch in, it's for a good cause.
Well that's not very nice. I thought you wanted a polite conversation?
Let's start over. I have some questions for you if you will.
1. Can you give me a short summary of the most meningful events to the plot for the next chapter?
2. Do you think, personally, that Silver has acted immoral so far in the your story? In such a case when and why?
3. Can you tell me what makes Glimmer's character different from Silver's?
To me, they both seem so similar you see. Both Silver and Glimmer has troubles with making friends. They are both really powerful but we lack the backstory for why but they are both powerful. They are driven by their ideolgies. In Glimmer's case: Her pursuit in her own idea of equality. In Silver's case: Anti-equality if you will.
Nigel, here's what you don't understand: you're not entitled to anything here. You are not entitled to have your fanfiction read by us, we don't have to praise it, we don't have to like it, we don't have to tell you it was good. You showed up here, dropped your story into a thread you made and asked people to read it. People read it, and told you what they thought of it, and you got mad because it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
We're not under any obligation to be nice to you, especially considering the way you behave on this board. Your problem is you ask for criticism, but can't handle the criticism you're given. For myself, I've actually given you a quite thorough and honest criticism of your work, and despite the somewhat sarcastic tone I've chosen to write it in, the fact is I've made a genuine effort to be as objective as possible about it. Things that you've done well I've pointed out, and I've tried to give helpful advice wherever I can. The problem is, though, that there's really just not that much I can say about your work that's positive because the frank, honest truth is that your work is objectively terrible. You completely fail to grasp simple things like conflict resolution and story structure. You don't plan or think about anything you write, you just sit down and type whatever autism pops into your mind and add it to the giant ball of twine you call your narrative.
Giving you advice is next to impossible, because for one you usually don't take it and for another this story is just such a gigantic clusterfuck it's hard to even know where to begin, although I feel like I deserve a medal for the effort that I've made. It's like if I were a carpenter and you told me you wanted my opinion on a house you built. Then I drove up to find you'd just made a crude lean-to out of some fucking sticks you found and were standing next to it grinning like you'd built the fucking Taj Mahal or something. What am I supposed to say? What could anyone say?
What is more galling than anything else about you though is your complete failure to grasp just why
you keep getting the reactions you get. You think there's some massive cabal of Glimmer fans who followed you from Reddit or Discord or wherever you came here from, just to shit on you unfairly because you said mean things about Glimmer. For the umpteenth time, there is no cabal. There is no secret Discord server where anons sit around thinking up ways to shit on you.
The shit you are getting is organic. The people you've been interacting with on this site are the same people who have been on this site from the beginning. You pissed off /mlpol/, and /mlpol/ is reacting to you. That's what's happening here.
Your story is getting a negative reaction because it sucks. You're an objectively bad writer and you have produced an objectively bad work. You're getting personally shit on because you're behaving like an obnoxious sperg. That's literally the extent of this. Ordinarily with writing this hopelessly awful, people would blunt their criticism a bit and tell you that you need to improve a little, or give you a couple of pointers here and there. However, you're just so damned unpleasant, and have such an undeservedly high opinion of yourself and your abilities as a writer, that it gives people genuine pleasure to push you off of your high horse and rub your face in the pile of steaming shit that you made them read. That is why I personally took it upon myself to give your work a complete and thorough analysis, even though I'm sure you haven't bothered to read a word of it; simply because YOU DESERVE THIS. You asked for honest, truthful criticism, and that's what you're getting. No punches whatsoever will be pulled.
How do you do fellow Glimmerniggers?
I was busy with working on a lolcow indictment a compatriot of mine requested, what happened here? >>169304
Did Nigel finally snap?
Nah, just more of the same catch phrases and salt without addressing himself as the cause. If he makes an argument I'll let it stand, but I'm over him shitting on everyone cuz muh Glimmerniggers
I would rather have let his post stand as it is so people can reply. I'm guessing that it was when I mentioned that part about Silver"I practiced time manipulation solely for extending my anal pegging time with my assistant" Star asking Starlight for forgiveness that sent him over the edge again into his typical spergout about muh glimmerniggers missing the point of the readers view on Silver "Silver Spire is just a massive insecurity complex" Star and an actual arc for him to go through and overcome that low point in his life that he caused for everyone, including his supposed lover Twilight whom he barely knows. >>3782>Nigel wants more penises for his ass and face, if anyone is available to fulfill his need. I doubt there are enough anons in the Internet, let alone Mlpol, but please pitch in, it's for a good cause.
Aye aye, I wasn't going to stop there anyways so too bad for him. >>3739>The second worst kind of fan is attracted to this for the same reason Tomoki from Heaven's Lost Property appeals to them.
You sure love to just copy paste your FIMfic blog points over and over without making a single new point, don't you? Kind of just like how your fic is nothing but continually berating the reader for liking the canon FiM because you don't through the entire 100k slog.>I've thought up ways to fix a lot of the dumb shit MLPFIM has done, and I'm going to do those things in my fic, one by one
You've continually acted like you're some kind of savior to MLP with your ideas but nobody gives a fuck about your autistic idea of what a perfect FiM to 'fix it' should be, when all you've done is shit all over the canon material that's been accepted for years and replacing it with your own god awful retcon fanon, completely re-writing everything and everyone because you can.
The only thing you've done repeatedly posting here and FiMfiction is demonstrate you have no idea how to write a compelling story, especially not for FiM. You know how to describe things pretty well, but that's it, that's the extent of your writing capability. You have a predictable habit of going off the rails into rambling tangents nobody cares about for way too long, dragging out a scene like 20 pages of kewl magic acrobatics, or 20 pages of lecturing about communism, or 20 pages of wannabe anime scene fights because you can't screen your thoughts at all. It's like clockwork, it's expected to happen every time anyone starts reading your writing and it happens over and over again.Say, remember this other blog you wrote?>It's kind of interesting how the Mary Sue and Gary Stu differ, and why the latter is usually more bearable.>Gary Stus, it tends to be what he is that makes him special.
Your prized character you spend every day shilling is a mary sue and proves that this statement that 'Gary Stus' being more tolerable because it's a guy being 'awesome' or 'bad ass' so the audience should eat it up is objectively false as Silver "My diet? It's all protein, hint-hint nudge nudge, wink"Star is fucking unbearable to put up with and not 'special.'>Challenges get easier for him
What challenges?>Bullies grow a heart/get a crush on him
Check.>God (You) gives him free passes>Satan (You) gives him free powers
Double check.>It's like playing reality on easy mode and the player, or in this case the writer, turns the difficulty down every so often.
Double triple check.>Stronger than everyone. Better than everyone at everything. Even when it makes no sense. Especially when it makes no sense
And put a big ass check for that too.
It's almost like you went into it knowing you were creating Silver "The only thing I cant do is make my microdick grow" Star as a mary sue but then lost the plot up your own ass with letting your ego drive the character and everything he rants about. The result barely amounts to a 'story' and Silver became a blackhole mary sue before you even knew it. And you dont like anyone pointing it out because it's your own bruised ego, to admit fault with Silver is admitting fault in yourself. You think making him do all the 'cool' things like magic parkour acrobatics makes it OK because your blog says Gary Stues are OK so then Silver should be OK except you have no concept of when enough is enough and when everyone is sick and fucking tired of this self-insert having godlike power and control over everyone and everything in FiM, dominating the limelight and time the reader spent with him over better characters as all the ponies everywhere fall at his feet in one way or another.
It's funny how the people who feel entitled to be treated nicely after they insult me are calling me entitled.
What am I entitled "To"? God knows. Liberals just like using words they heard before, especially negative words. They don't understand what the words mean, but they like the sound of words like "Toxic" and "Entitled" and "Shitty", they make posts like "You are doubleplus ungood" feel more verbose and therefore more cool.
Knock yourself out>>3789>implying this all didn't begin when you refused to take no for an answer the last 8 times you tried to shove this tripe down everyone's throat
It's funny. I make one thread that says "Lol, I just wrote 30k words of ideological debate in a pony fic" and another that says "Look at my fic", and because you don't like its contents, I'm now tresspassing against you. I'm now microaggressing against you. I'm now shoving my (thoughtcrime/shitty/tripe) opinions down your throat.
You're changing up the words to pretend that you aren't just going in circles here.
You want me to feel bad for not loving your cartoon waifu. You're pathetic. You're projecting onto me, because leftists never learn, they only project.
funny, that's true, but the rest is palpably and tellingly inaccurate and delusional
>>3791>one thread>ONE THREAD
You say this while two threads simultaneously top the front page of the main board, and another of your faggoty pet projects has a shill thread on /vx/. Don't lie, we know you've been responsible for at least five other threads trying to shill your crap to everybody else. Pretending you're a poor little victim who dindu nuffin is only further incriminating when anons have dug up everything short of your social security number.
I make one thread that says one thing and another that says another thing>so you're saying one thing
Hey did anyone see what I did there, with the dogs in the silver fic?
>>3791>Why are (((the subversive elements))) alternating between bumping this thread and the other one?>You're projecting onto me
Actually faglord you chose to ignore Glim's deconstruction so you could skirt over here instead of ever facing the fact there's massive problems in your story. So instead you decided to come over here and dump your dogma on the thread expecting people to lap it up, didn't happen and then you go right back to reacting like a leftist claiming that everyone who criticizes it is a 'subversive element'. >You want me to feel bad for not loving your cartoon waifu. You're pathetic
No Nigel, you want to make everyone feel bad for not obsessively hating a pink pony like you and anyone who doesn't take your vision of FiM and the perfect OC as gospel is a glimmernigger. That's pathetic, YOU are pathetic.
Spoiler alert! Does anyone care? Oh. I thought not, no one is interested in your character here. >He is Applejack's Cousin>The SHINING Silver Star of the Apple Family
If all you're doing is retcons and ooc characters then what you're writing is an AU, pretending it isnt one and doing it all through the worst marysue ever conceived who just happens to be related to one of the mane6. A move in itself that's disgustingly mediocre writer's pet sue-heavy but falls by the wayside on the sheer amount of undeserved talent fortune, skill and praise this OC you created gets by everyone he comes into contant with ends up licking his balls (except Starlight who just serves as a punching bag for your obsessive hate of her.) within a couple scenes over 'accomplishments' nobody reading the story has ever seen. and the ones that we do see is that Silver can do literally anything he wants to because you're a hack and a bad writer.
You are invested in your OC so much that you tout him over every other character and lose touch with the reader as you go into another fangasm about your OC writing another wall of inner monologue, if we're lucky. And if he says it outloud then the other ponies will just eat it up and bow down to how great he is. And this is what's pathetic. >"Starlight doesnt have any remorse">"and perhaps she was just better off as somepony quietly resented by everypony"
The crux of (You)r long winded hate and Silver "the 'Star' psuedoname is about my ponut tee-hee" Star parroting what (You) think, just like in your blogs. It's a load and so far out of character for Twilight that it's clear sock puppetry to stroke yourself.
One of the key points about Starlight's character is she herself brings up her mistakes in the past and she has to learn to let things go with self-confidence and self-control. The very first line she said to Twilight in S6 is "I still cant believe you're letting me stay here... as your pupil... after what I did" If that doesnt sound like remorse to you then you are beyond help. One of the other key points about Twilight is her understanding nature as the voice of reason and willing to listen, but makes an effort to do the right thing. And she demonstrates this with Starlight appealing to her emotional side instead of fighting her. The fact you feel the need to retcon achivements of not only Starlight saving Equestria in S6 and personal growth of characters including Trixie so you can reset it back to low-hanging-fruit so Starlight is a barely redeemed villain, and Trixie too but also retcon Twilight's achivement with saving Glimmer shows at least on some level that you know that your hate-boner is nothing but petty bias being shoved down the reader's throat in redundant and insulting manors.
No we're saying that you dredge up all the same shit, making a fuss every month and then fail to justify your views or content, or at LEAST start a discussion on a relevant topic. And you make a new thread for it every time you make a new chapter or minuscule amount of change to your work, as if people want a new thread before the last ones even gotten past a hundred replies.
Nothing says "Apple Family(TM)" like a wealthy businessman who built his empire on screwing over anyone whose business practices he dislikes, a boistrous and obnoxious personality with no depth or sense of southern hospitality, and an obsession with proving yourself right at the direct expense of any semblence of honesty.
He'd fit right in with Flim and Flam, though.
Funny you mention them. I always found it odd how the ponies rejected them - they provided service the ponies were even more satisfied with than the Apple Family's. Seems dumb they were so combatant at first when the brothers did little to nothing wrong before their competition. In the end AJ's family proved better in terms of customer relations and individuality, but they could have coincided or simply been more cordial and diplomatic in divying up turf. But then again the show's staff has revealed themselves to be leftists.
Unfortunate. But at least they sang a helluva showtune!
The only reason they rejected them was because their swill turned out to be inferior, at least the top barrels were because they stepped up the speed. Seems to imply that they care more about good cider than whoever's making it, though they did have misgivings about the Apples losing.
>>3797>One of the key points about Starlight's character is she herself brings up her mistakes in the past and she has to learn to let things go with self-confidence and self-control.
i think Nigel is trying to metaphorically teabag your comment
Now you're getting it. I normally respond with more than that, but that guy just had so little self-awareness, I couldn't find it in me to respond with anything smarter than anti-humor.
The failed attempt at a big-boy vocabulary earlier in the thread, from the Glimmer defense force, that was funny.
And the "Your OC is more Sueish than Glimmer! Also Glimmer is not Sue!" shit, that was funny, too.
And the time some idiot tried to split nonexistant hairs over his personal definitions of words when it came to Silver not thinking a pony should be proud of committing mass murder, something that really got his goat. That was pretty funny.
But I'm not just here to laugh at the Glimmer Defense Force and their constant quest to convince the world that they are the pure and virtuous and totally-not-pathetic ones.
Every post I make in this thread triggers another round of "Duhuhuh"s and "Teeheehee"s from these entitled peanut-gallery brainlets who get off on berating and harassing people who don't like their waifu.
Another round of them projecting their insecurities and personal failings onto me, as they demand that I treat them nicer and gibs them what they want: An apology for what my fictional character did to their waifu and said about their collective left-wing ideology.
I'll never give them an apology for not liking their waifu, because I have done nothing wrong.
Here's something interesting to note.
I've never had any problems with Ratchet and Clank fans after I said "Fuck that one Nanotech upgrade".
I've never had any problems with Fairly Odd Parents fans after I said "Fuck Chloe, Sparky, Foop, and all the other Poochies".
I've never had any problems with Pokemon fans after I said "Fuck Toxapex and fuck Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee".
Even the Bugthesderp fandom... It said "Fuck off" when I complained about the worse-than-micheal-bay clusterfuck that was Fallout 4, its scummy "Pay extra for what you loved in Skyrim and got in that game for free!" DLC model, its extra-scummy microtransaction Paid Mods model, and more. But that was it. It didn't harass me across multiple sites.
Hell, you know the Naruto fandom? When I called Itachi Uchiha an overhyped emotionally-stunted overpowered brainlet and the biggest Gary Stu in a whole clan of dedicated Gary Stus and a franchise that had gone off the rails long ago, they did not get anywhere near as butthurt as the Glimmer fanboys get when you say anything bad about their waifu.
Have you SEEN what these crying leftists are demanding in this thread as they poorly try to impersonate what they think redpilled channers sound like?
They are calling for an end to the potential fictional relationship between a fictional character I made up and my take on someone else's fictional character, just because that one fictional character hurt Glimmyglam.
They think it's evil and unforgiveable for Silver to defend himself when a violent mass-murderer gets physical (Well, magical) with him after failing to back up her inane political beliefs in a debate.
They don't have a problem with any of the shit she's done to innocent ponies(Gee, I wonder what kind of childhood Apple Bloom grew up with in the war universe. Gee, I wonder where everypony is in the "Discord taunts Celestia and Luna for eternity" universe. Gee, I sure don't see many foals in Fluttershy's Changeling-fighting survivalist tribe), but they have a problem with her facing the consequences of pissing off and attacking someone who can outthink and outfight their violent, disrespectful, screeching commie brute prone to overreacting. You know, their spirit animal.
They can call my work "Toxic" and "Transphobic"- I mean "Shitty" and "Mary Sueish" all they want. They can call me pathetic all they want. They sure have done a lot more of the latter, but that's how the left operates. They harass people, they try to intimidate people, and they attack people instead of ideas, while trying to replace good ideas with leftist ideas.
I'm sure enough honest, redpilled people on this website have figured out why I'm still posting in this thread, and I think that's why they left this thread.
I'm distracting the leftist raiders who ruined 4/mlp/, took over MLPforums, turned Derpibooru into a cucked glimmy circlejerk, and sucked the balls of Fimfiction moderators.
I'm keeping the Glimmer Internet Defense Force and their weaponized patheticness concentrated here, in this thread, so the rest of /mlpol/ can continue to enjoy a website without them.
And if I have to endure being called a "Faggot" a few more times? Well, so be it.
Perhaps they'll photoshop my OC some more. Then again, they don't exactly have the talent for it.
It's OK. We'll get through this together one step at a time, no matter how long it takes. I'm here for you.
that wasnt me understanding you Nigel, i just applied crazy people logic to your failed attempt at shitposting. sit the fuck down.
Excuse me, are you ASSUMING who MY WAIFU is?
How DARE you, sir! I am insulted that you believe you know better as to who MY WAIFU is or should be! The absolute GALL of it all! It's an OUTRAGE!
I'll have you know that my waifu is actually the apple horse, and that I am offended you would believe she would be anything less than the perfect apple horse she is!
It's just more leddit speak, it's ingrained into him over years so he doesn't know how to turn it off.>>3804
You said this earlier>I find it difficult to really pin down who these canon characters are, and are supposed to be, with how inconsistently they are written in the show. Part of me says to ignore how characters act in episodes where they look or act like asshats, and episodes that are just written badly in general, but that doesn't leave me with a lot of episodes.
And that would be fine, except for the fact that your bias and personal feelings and fantasy gets in the way of telling a good story. Pro tip: If you don't have a good grasp on the characters you are writing then don't do a 100k fic with them as focal points
Starlight isn't my waifu either, you mongoloid.
Every time you retreat back into your knee-jerk response that everyone's a glimmernigger out to get you from discord and fimfiction you will never improve, because that's just an excuse. Here's a simple review of Starlight Glimmer for you since you are so dense. With your autistic bias, lack of understanding of human concepts and thinking you can brush all of it under the rug with a leddit meme. Ready? Pay attention you stupid nigger, I'm highlighting this all for your retarded ass but it's more then you're worth. These are the three 'big events' which introduce the audience to Old Starlight who she was, how she has changed as New Starlight, and how she remains the same.>S5 Premier - Lack of Self Control
Aside from the communism equality she used used magic to solve the cutiemark 'problems' and when things go South for her being exposed she doubles down on her stance as a control freak and is overthrown. Bitter that she was defeated, she takes the cutiemarks of the mane6 and runs. When her Old Town ponies get in her way, she threatens them with a laser horn spell and uses it on them, but Twilight deflects it. Everything about this is Starlight not having enough self control and lashing out at others when she didn't get what she wanted. >S5 Finale - Lack of Self Control & Lack of Confidence
She goes full personal-vendetta against Twilight with time-travel and shuts her down every time Twilight comes back in time. Later after Twilight pulls her into the future Starlight has a LoSC outburst "Change my mind? You don't know anything about me! I was perfectly happy before you and your friends ruined what I built!" - "You want to know what happened to me?! I'll show you!"
Drags her back in time and find that it's a LoC that drove her to become a villain. Sunburst got his cutiemark and she didnt. At the end she fluctuates between the two lows "I thought Sunburst and I were the same. But we turned out different, and it tore our friendship apart!"
- "How do I know they won't all end the same way?"
. Starlight had little to no confidence that she could make any new friends naturally and it was only overcoming her low esteem to give a chance on making new friends after Twilight's pleading to her that she ended her revenge scheme. >S6 Premier - Lack of Self Confidence.
Starlight freaks out and avoids trying to rekindle her first friendship with Sunburst and thinks hes better than her. "I mean, he's probably some big important wizard now, and... I can't even find my way around Twilight's castle
" Spike nearly causes her into a panic attack with this line " Maybe you'll never be able to learn anything about friendship at all! It's almost like your whole future depends on this moment..
She nervously dodges all the questions Sunburst tosses at her, while spilling tea and then after it falls through says "Well, Spike, looks like my biggest fears came true. I wouldn't be surprised if Twilight decides to give up on me entirely
." She thinks she's not good enough to be his friend "It's not the list, Spike. Or you. Or Twilight. I'm the one Sunburst doesn't want to be friends with
." and says "Thanks, Spike. At least I have two friends"
which means she knows that the other mane6 are just associates of Twilight, but she doesn't feel like she has a good connection with them yet. Then a later lack of self control AND lack of self confidence makes her go into a tear-filled outburst. "Well, you don't know what it was like to be left behind!" - "so you travel through time to get back at them, but they beat you again and teach you about friendship, but you're so terrified ponies will find out what you did that you can't make any friends!
These old flaws are still present in New Starlight, they are crucial to her as a character as a whole and why they stick around.
Overcoming these flaws are when she has her big (S6 Finale) or small victories, while falling back on them (S8-e14) is when she gets into trouble. every. single. time.
You aren't a bad writer because you are 'mean' to one character. You are a bad writer because you have no respect for these characters and who they are to begin with.
Nor the world they live in, the experiences they've shared or the established canon. Starlight is merely a straw-man for you with propped up fanon crimes as you regurgitate your blog on her. And your butcher job doesn't ends with just Starlight either, because that goes for everyone in FiM that isn't your OC because you only have a weak understanding of FiM as a whole.
The only thing you care about is your self-insert ejaculating all over FiM and inside Twilight like you think he deserves. You've been using him as a proxy in the story to re-mold FiM to your favor through your OC and just one of those checkmarks to "fix it one by one." with infinite money. You think with the paper-thin depth of your dick of shipping your abysmal mary sue OC with Twilight and don't even realize that it's inherent to the core of Twilight's character to compel others to do the right thing as she would, and turn away from them if they don't. This scenario has happened in the show to someone else, but you will write that off because it doesn't get you hard. >She smiled, stopped, nervously looked around, reassured herself that she really was alone, and squeed harder. "I just got hugged by Silver Star!" She shouted gleefully, prancing around the room.
You are a bad writer because you are a lazy as fuck one, you've made an OC who's already world-famous a forced loved interest without actually doing a damn thing to earn her it. To begin with Twilight getting reduced to a brainless school girl fangirl like in your fiction is even more insulting here then it was when Hasbro tried to ship her with Flash. You managed to out do that, one of the most hated ships in the fandom, with your OC ship. Now if Twilight getting a big remodeled castle from Silver but still put an end to the relationship because Even IF Silver was sincere about giving her a brand new castle as a gift (which nobody believes because he's a scumbag) "You're not the pony I thought you were" This scenario has happened in the show to someone else, but you will write that off because it doesn't make your peepee happy.
It would be something in character Twilight would say after what he did, it would show respect to Twilight as a character and how she cant be bought forgiveness by gifts if it goes against her principles with shallow trash, and she likes simple gifts with thought anyways not elaborate bullshit. Silver having to make amends through fixing his mess with Glimmer and becoming a better man instead of throwing more money or magic bullshit spells at it like he always does. But you won't do it, because you don't have the balls to do it, and because you don't respect her as a character any more than you respect Glimmer as a character. You would sooner make Silver cast a spell on Twilight and invade her mind to forget about what he did than invalidate your mary sue ship with one of your waifus. Twilight is just something you want to put your dick in. That's as far as her role in your trashheap goes and that's as much as you're willing to give her. You are unable to separate your personal faptime thoughts of your OC giving Twilight the D. from the plot for sake of a better story, just like you are unable to separate your sperging blog points about Glimmer, communism and whatever else you can dump on the reader in a truckload of words that turn everyone away.
That's why you're a bad writer, Nigel.
How would my work improve if I listened to the rabid Glimmer fans who would loathe it no matter what I did? How would my work improve if I listened to the people who want Twilight to tell Silver to get out of her town and never show his face around her again?
>>3813>Twilight to tell Silver to get out of her town and never show his face around her again?
Because than Silver can come back as a improved pony that Twilght will fall for.
I will say two things.
Firstly, if we are the leftish-glimmer-internet defense force and you are keeping us from invading the rest of the site by keeping us here, it is kind of dumb to tells us about it. Futhermore, I wasn't aware that a bunch of leftish-communist-glimmerniggers were raiding our threads with such intensity that you needed to sacrifice your precious time to save use from them.
Secondly, if you are going with either that Starlight just pretends to be reformed or that she deserves a worse punishment for her crime, your doing it wrong. If Starlight is just pretending, then she would not even argue against Silver since she wants ponies to think that she is reformed so she can conspire. If she has somekind of magic that makes her influnce the ponies around her to do her biding, then why has she not acted against equestria yet. Or atleast tired remake ponyville into her own town. A better approach to having Glimmer fake her reformation is to make your plot similar to the fanfiction: "The devil's trick." You can find it on your favorite website, fimfiction. In it, Luna is just pretending to be reformed and Twilight figures it out slowly. It is actaully not as cool as it sounds. It is not really a mystery in my opinion.
But your story could be a mystery novel were Silver figures out that Starlight is actaully not reformed while he is in ponyville and that she conspires to take over the world or whatever.
If Silver thinks she deserves a worse punishment, he should go through the authorities. Also, reminder that in this senario Starlight is trying to repent for her wrong doings. Anyway, does authorities being Twilight and other Princesses. Not take the law in his own hands and punish her.
It is so strange. I agree with your post above about fim or at least most of it. That is why this so strange. I don't think you're stupid. You do say wise things sometimes and THEN you write this fic.
In his mind, Mlpol has been under invasion from the glimmerniggers for over a year and he is single-handedly holding back the onslaught with his liberal use of epithets and catch-phrases. His absence of reason is well documented and as obvious to others as he claims it is obvious that everyone here who disagrees with him is a lefty SJW glimmernigger commie.
In reality he's an MLP jew, kicked out of every community he's ever participated in and around, but 'totally not his fault, its a conspiracy against him'.
>>3813>How would my work improve.It can not and It will not. Nigel. Ever. Not now and not in the future. Period.
Jason, i know you are dumb as a brick and twice as dense, but Glim Glam and others have ad nauseum pointed out that the works you shit out are absolutely horrid. Repulsive on a molecular level. This is on the level of Sonichu and Linkara's Lightbringer,
if not arguably worse though if one considers your whole autistic body and your toxic self-felating personality as a whole.
You never accept criticism, constructive, well meaning or otherwise. Your objectively best move to action would be to never fucking write a thing in your life ever again. You are not suitable to do it. If you continue you will only earn yourself more hostility, hate & public outrage. Not just here, on the whole internet. Just stop. Stop and never post something publicly again. Look at these 2 threads you provoked. This is but a taste of what you will get if you continue walking down this path. You chose to be an ignorant twat and this kingdom of dirt is your reward.
Now you are probably saying "Oh but i am not retarded! I deserve love and admiration for my creativity! I have a right to pursue my dreams!"
. No. No you do not. I mean, yes, you can try but see what it got you so far. Your best work has a 50/50 like/dislike ratio. Your DA gallery is eyebleach. Your Youtube channel a massgrave Your hopes and dreams of success have become a monstrosity. Why is it that lolcows always need to have this warped image of themselves, that they are just wonderful misunderstood snowflakes that can do no wrong?
Nigel, I am no doctor but let me just tell you that you are one of the worst people i have ever had the misfortune to encounter on the entire Internet in over 20 years and considering where we are that is one hell of an accomplishment. I would not want to associate with you if you were my brother, I already feel ashamed that i have to share the same platform with you. If it was up to me, i would put you in a rubber cell and never let you out again. People like you are the reason why internet users will have to pass a sanity test in the future. You are a danger to yourself and your family because you dont fucking understand how to secure your identity and not be a drag on online communties. contain your fucking tard cum.
At this point I think most of us would be happy if you simply acknowledged that it's possible people just don't like your writing, and not everything is a Glimmernigger™ conspiracy against you.
How many people need to tell you your story is shit, and give you the exact same reasons for why it's shit, before you are willing to admit that maybe, just maybe, you wrote a bad story? At this point I don't even care what you want to write about. If you really want to write a story where Glimmer gets beat up and kicked into another dimension then fine, if you really want to ship your god-awful character with Twilight then fine; just fucking learn how to write it well.
Learn how to write the canon MLP characters in a way that isn't insulting to anyone who likes them. Stop trying to rewrite the entire series and ram your headcanon down everyone's throat. Stop writing Twilight like she's just some brainless teenager with a crush. Learn how to structure a goddamn narrative. Above all, learn to accept criticism with at least a pretense of dignity.
The world doesn't owe you a blowjob, Nigel.
He doesn't just check off most of those, he checks off at least 70 out of 80. And if we're talking about his dumb fictional character, I can say with absolute confidence he checks off at least 75
*Ding ding ding*
Give this man a prize! A turning point and a challenge! Rock bottom for the main character to overcome? Nah. That's too much work to actually give a reason for anyone to give a shit about Silver, ever. Here have this skill that he mastered instead, that's just as good. Be impressed! Fall for him! Give me monei pls! I em professnel.>>3813>rabid Glimmer fans who would loathe it no matter what I did?
You know when a leftist calls all their detractors racist even when they have nothing to stand on? That's what you're doing right now.
The only thing that you accomplished here is drilled into the readers head is that you, and your self insert have no way of impressing any character without bending characters to your will and breaking canon completely, which always goes this OC's favor. Each and every chapter is just a different masturbation exercise for Silver Star to splurge all over the characters with how amazing and cool he is with no world building in sight. Every single chapter has new ways for Nigel to force in completely new ways for him to WoW!Silver and add on yet another talent from the void that he is a master at because he just is that great. We can't forget showing off with another spell that has never existed, and only his OC can do either!
Observe.>I get to freely summon birds beneath my rank in their system and access their vast libraries at will. As for the Foxponies, I built their capital. They like me, and a lot of them like getting to build and fight for me.”>“You built what?!” Twilight gasped. “How? That’s not possible! Nopony had ever even seen a Foxpony before-”
Yes, did you know that Silver Star not only knows a foxpony (WoW! Silver) but also built their capital? (WoW! Silver) Because damn. I sure think mares are ready to drop their metaphorical panties over that. But wait, hold that phone there's more! The xtreme4uGear? Oh yeah, did you know hoverboards existed in Equestria? I didn't but they do now! I guess that could be neat. oh but they were banned, and they are unsafe, well shit... But wait! That's ok because Silver is now an inventor of them and solved all those problems by himself
and then sells all his super-rad hoverboards to other dumb and talentless ponies who want to fly like a pegasus. This would be a fine base and likable personality trait had it been anyone else, it's too bad that you've already spent yourself over giving him every talent and magical ability in the book so it's just wasted on more flavor-of-the-day egotism as expected from your blackhole sue.
You decide to make up fanon on the spot that breaks canon over and over and you do it for the only reason of other characters getting wet over your mary sue. And you decide to put characters in a scene only as a means for you to dump your exposition on, or Silver would be talking to himself. The scene with Twilight asking one liners about 2xtremegear? Twilight is just a tool for you to unload another pile of verbal diarrhea, she has no real impact on the conversation. And we can chalk on the fact none of this exposition dump will ever get brought up again so this is a complete waste of time no one cares about and any writer worth his salt would trim it down or transition to a different scene, maybe about the other ponies, anything that can spare us for more of your autism walls. It's the same problem as what happened when you decided to have an 'argument' with Starlight. What makes the 2xtremegear scene accurate to Twilight, one who nerds out at the drop of a hat? Because all these questions could just be asked by literally any one else. You don't know how to write dialog because you don't know these characters. Did you think changing the subject or the scene would make this glaring problem in your writing go away? Because it doesn't
Wouldn't you know it, the hoverboards are only introduced for Silver to do a backflip and use some more instant-win magic spell nobody else can do. (WoW! Silver)
>>3822>Extreme Gears are hoverboards>Classification system including Speed, Flight, and Power>Reference to grinding specifically>IT'S LITERALLY LIFTED FROM SONIC RIDERS>I was fucking right and I didn't even mean to be right
I know I should be laughing even harder, but....I just can't
You can't make this shit up.
>But your story could be a mystery novel were Silver figures out that Starlight is actaully not reformed while he is in ponyville and that she conspires to take over the world or whatever.
Oh sweet summer child. That isn't how Nigel's epic works in the slighest. >>3823>>3824
What's that? I hope you like half the chapter dedicated to splurging about MLP Riders as if it was a board meeting.>“Woah!” Rainbow Dash gasped in awe.>“Looks like Rarity might have some competition!”
Applejack said, checking out the models on display, especially one that caught her eye.
Yes folks, even in a complete different field which has nothing to do with fashion, Silvers sense of style might be a danger to Rarity's dress business.
>>3825https://youtu.be/d-Wa1CfZzKY?t=583>I get it, okay? It just floats and that's good enough for me.
If only Nigel took the same notes on magic as Sonic Team did on this game's scifi elements.
How exactly does a quadraped ride a flying skateboard designed for bipeds to ride sideways? Their hip structure wouldn't allow it
S-s-shut up glimmernigger! Ponies can totally stand on two hooves like a skater, because they're totally cool!
Stupid nano-man denying laws of physics.
Obviously they'd have to by two: one for their right hooves and one for their left. One simple design to ensure double the profits. Silver is truly a business genius.
I guess the strategy of "throwing as much shit at the wall as possible and seeing what sticks", isn't always viable.
How did you find his youtube channel anyways, was there a link in his FIMfiction account or something? Also, it looks like you threw him a pity view there, hue.
I'm being called retarded by people who organized a mass harassment campaign against me across multiple sites for not liking their pony waifu.
It's a shame nu-FIM makes so many episodes about criticism being evil. Perhaps, if they made an episode about self-awareness, they'd learn something.
Is anyone else beginning to wonder if Nigel might be a bot? No matter what anyone says to him he always replies with some combination of the same words and phrases.
I got access to Nigels IRL named youtube channel last year during the prelude of
Glimmergate before he was declared a protected Modpet by Lotus
and some other mod who wanted to keep him around for the lulz. I forgot it about it, but rediscovered him when he left a comment on one of Tyrones promo videos.
Also one of my Compatriots on Discord turned out to be an oldskool Glimmernigger and supplied with some Intel on this cow.>>3833
I've talked with chatbots with more inspirational algorhytms than Jason's incoherent ramblings.>>3817
I would not even be surprised if Jason was in fact an ethnic jew. He certainly behaves just like one, even without his dreadful history. See him spinning like a dreidel oy veying when he is not being permapraised 24/7.>>3832
pics related. take your meds Jason. The Glimmernigeria World Order
will take care of you soon enough.
It would make more sense I admit, but truth is often stranger than FiM
MLPOL! This is HIS mindstet!
I'm not even going to give you any credence on your claim, and just continue tearing your magnum opus down.
Too bad I'll be gone a week, so the rest will have to wait, while your OC ass recovers from the reaming.YOUR SHIP IS GARBAGE NIGEL.Your character is fucking boring and there is nothing to root for at any point.
Chapter 2 is the first introduction to us from Twilight's PoV. Of course, since this is a Nigelfic it MUST be about Silver and how she just cant wait to take his cock into her mouth, too bad for her he's actually into stalions eh? Let's see how it plays out.
Her views on Silver "My real fortune comes from being the most successful at taking zigger dick porn" Star. >“He didn't invent boarding schools or night schools.” Spike pointed out. “No, but he made the best ones yet.” Twilight said, >“I know of him!” She said gleefully, opening up her closet and looking at the few hung-up articles of clothing she owned before becoming a princess on the left, the outfits she'd gained for princess stuff after becoming a princess on the right.
“With all the breakthroughs he's made in the field, field magic, and the field of magical fielding, you could fill more than a hundred books with all he's discovered! And I have all two hundred!”>“Yes, that, but more importantly,” Twilight waved that away with a hoof, and began nerding out once more. “He single-hoofedly revolutionized the field of summoning magic, created over a thousand spells, and made his own chain of enchanted item stores all over Equestria!”
Right out the gate, not only do you start yourself with an easy victory to get into her pants as she's already a fangirl. But you make sure to go the extra inch on bending over to push that dick a little further about how anybody who's anybody would know WoW!Silver. We clearly havent had enough WOW!Silver of you sperging about his 'achivements' through other characters so let's continue. This time it's through back and forth of Twilight and Spike licking at your OC's balls who's not even in the room and they havent even met in person. Not even Spike plays the voice of reason here as he often does, he's too busy screaming about how great a literallywho is to the reader, with events nobody has ever seen and never will. Meaningless facts that are nothing more than padding for a DiY fleshlight. I can already hear it.'Hey get it right. MY OC IS THE BEST THING EVER. Fuck canon, and fuck you! B-but you better worship me and PAY me or you are a glimmernigger!'
made those magical arenas that'll let anypony fight - What are they called again, temporal echoes? - of retired Magical Duellists in their prime, and temporal echoes of duellists that are still around now, but different! He's the reason why Rocky Road '02 VS Rocky Road '12 happened!” Spike enthused.>"And he's
written over two hundred books about the alternate worlds he's visited! The art, and the history, and the SCIENCE! Do you know how many patents he owns? Do you know how many history books he's written?!">"No, but I know
he's a metal music star too! I think I have one of his CDs!" Spike declared.
The character is written to said to be godlike and more important than Equestria's most talented mage, Starswirl the Bearded whom I might add is still Twilight's idol even if you negated and retcon all of Season 7 & 8. You are doing this to make her less of a challenge to win over, and it will play right into your trash with how he is better experienced, smarter and more magical than Twilight so he will always better than her like after your anime fight with strawman glimmer plays out.
Since we already saw Silver "Everything you've herd about my love for marecock is true" Star performing magic out his ass without a sweat in Chapter 1 and know Twilight isn't a liar then all this isn't just hear-say but actual blackhole sue events that only conspired in your own little world. It's cute that you think giving a handjob to yourself through Twilight will not make him a blackhole sue. And as we can all see, IT DOESNT WORK. There is nothing here for the reader to engange in, this never gets any better so the OC should be entirely scrapped and redone. Just throw the baby out with the bathwater. >“And best of all... When he attended the Royal Canterlot Academy of Magical Duelling,
he took on their unbeatable Impossible Test and he passed it with flying colors! He actually passed a test Princess Celestia and over fifty expert theorists helped craft to be absolutely impossible!”>"Or he cheated so well, the Academy staff couldn't tell.” Spike snarked.
>“That'd be even MORE impressive!
"Wait, you're gonna wear <i>clothes</i> for this guy?” Spike said in surprise.
“Absolutely!” Twilight declared.
I personally love that jab at you demeaning Twilight. And the irony of both Silver and Starlight having magical prowess without 'being boosted by a rainboom' isn't lost on me at all.(WoW!Silver) But then he also has impressed and won over even Celestia and the brightest of Equestria. (WoW!Silver) And has mastery and success of fields even outside of magic like being in a band (WoW!Silver) How anyone could read the above and come to the conclusion that (WoW!Silver) is anything but a blackhole mary-sue is not living on the same plane of existance as the rest of us. But that's not enough, he needs to be the best comic book writer too, and a magazine owner and runs his own schools. (WoW!Silver)
You remember how everyone loved that thing in MLPFiM the 'impossible test'? No? Well you remember how Nigelight was sperging out about it earlier in the chapter? Will the author do anything with this?>”I hear ponies that want to get into Duel Academy have to take this entrance exam, and I heard there's a part of it that's said to be... Unbeatable.”>“It is.” He purred with a feline smirk, lowering his voice and moving closer still.>“How did you do it?” She asked eagerly.>“Come closer.” He said, leaning forward.>“Closer.” He whispered, and she moved even closer, her raised ear almost touching his lips.>His voice was, even for her, at this distance, and even to her pony ears, barely audible. “I am...” He paused dramatically. ”Awesome.”>It's ok. Now can you tell me how you did it? Or at least tell me what the test is?”>“Well, the test is unbeatable... But I'm also unbeatable, so the two unbeatables cancelled each other out and I won.” Silver explained.>“Also I exploited a massive loophole in the test's design.” Silver said quickly. 'Well My OC outsmarted the best minds of Equestria in an event that the audience never saw. But you will just have take my word for it and believe me, it sure was IMPRESSIVE. I won't tell you what happened or how I did it or what this exploit was EVER, how do you hook a reader anyways? It's okay because Twilight passed something that never happened too! But she was magically boosted so that's not as impressive... so it's ok for her to get wet about it'
'Uh you want the actual details of what happened at the event? Hahah I'm not interested in any of that sorry. I just like extremely long filler to make sure I point out that my OC the B-E-S-T. and then abruptly change the subject, never to come up again in the story. Have you noticed? My fic is just a long winded fantasy for him to rut me as I self project onto any mare. Yes I am gay for my own OC, You're not?
GlimGlam, i strongly recommend you release this review on youtube, fimfiction and deviant art. Maybe other sites as well. I am sure places like Kiwifarms or the lolcow wiki would also love to have a read of this.
I kinda wanna make a video of it all, too. Maybe we could do a dramatic reading/rant using this as a script?
I'd love to see that.
What's he doing to his channel now? FNV lmao.
Oh, and Nigel is the only person who avoids vaguely terroristic leet hacker posts coming straight from Israel.
What posts? I have no idea what you mean by the last sentence
I think the funniest post in this thread so far is this one where I tell the glimmer army how to critique better using a picture
and the response is "no u need 2 be nicer! also fuk u ur the worst hoomin ever!"
It's called foreshadowing, I'm setting something up that gets revealed 20 chapters from now when you see that part of the guy's "Rags to riches" backstory.
No, it's more like "you're criticizing me wrong commies, not a single one of your criticisms is valid because you didn't create my entire fic for me even if you did suggest alternative ways of writing" followed by a swift "go fuck yourself, you don't get to choose how you get criticized anymore."
>>3844>20 chapters from now>20 unbearable, repulsive chapters
Please, for the love of Celestia give up writing long novels and try a short story.
One more thing...
I haven't been judged by my peers.
I've been judged by the sad, pathetic group of ten or so Glimmer fans who are harassing me on this site, and multiple other sites.
If you seriously got duped by their "Yell bad words and hope they stick" tactics, well... Do you fall for that shit often?
Trump is regularly "Judged" by a fuckton of liberals and liberan news outlets to be this bad word and that bad word and so on. Should we all pretend consensus=fact?
That's how you choose to view this? That's how you choose to (ir)rationalize away my points? Sad, but I can't stop you from misreading my posts. But I can stop caring about your posts.
Take a step back, drop the mob mentality you've been goaded into, and look at what's happening here.
Of course Commies won't like a story in which a pro-capitalist battle mage earns his way from rags to riches. Why should I care when they call my character "Toxic" and "Transphobic" and why should I care when they call me a "Racist" "sexist" "egotistical" "incel" and "lolcow"?
I know about the charity work I've done, I know about the lives I've saved, I know about the good things I've done for this planet and western society and if they do know about it, they certainly wouldn't admit it or tell you about it, because it goes against the "Guys, look at CWC 2! Even worse than CWC 1!" narrative they're trying to build up so you don't think too hard about what I'm saying.
They're liberals, shouting liberal words liberally.
They keep repeating the "Your fanfic is the worst, you should get better at fanfic" and "You are the worst person, you should be a better person" lines, but if I listened to them… How would I improve?
I wouldn't. If I listened to their "Advice" and wrote what they feel entitled to read, I'd end up writing on the level of that "And then Glimmer came back and molested Silver" story.
And if I listened to their "Advice" on how to be what they consider a "Better" person, what would I become? I'm already treating them far better than they're treating me. Would it change their view of me, if I used nicer words to describe the people threatening me, harassing me, and trying to dox me over fucking ponies? No, I'm a "Thoughtcriminal", I have "Sinned" by saying too many mean things about their horse, and I must be shamed on this site with these tumblr callout posts. After all, all the redpilled users apparently gave up on this site at some point, so the voices of the raiders are once again the loudest.
But even if I was this horrible man who needed to improve as a person…
One, what are my crimes? Writing a fanfic in which Glimmer loses. But her fans hated me and harassed me long before I wrote the chapter in which she showed up. Oh, and I made a thread on a redpilled site about a fanfic in which a commie uses. Well, two threads, one about making it and one in which I post it. Truly, I am like fifty Hitlers right now.
And two… There are pedophiles, on the internet. There are feminists, on the internet. There are parents who abuse their kids and proudly upload footage of this on the internet. There are Antifa members and supporters who proudly proclaim that they want the western world to die.
These people aren't doing anything about those people, because they're busy with someone who is, in their heads, "Worse".
And what do these people consider the worst man on the planet? What are they dedicating their free time to harassing, abusing, and trying to dox?
Some semi-former My Little Pony fan who doesn't like their favourite pony.
THESE are your "Moral Authorities"? These wannabe Commissars look like moral, rational, trustworthy people to take seriously? These crying children are the people we're all supposed to just trust blindly?
Look at that "Monarchy VS Communism" picture, in which an anti-communist argument is reduced to something almost as absurd as pro-communist arguments.
The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of them. The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of their ideology and behaviour. The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of their criticism. Because they can't handle it. They can't handle dissent. They can't handle mature debate or discussion, and they are projecting onto me because that's what cowardly bullies do. They want to shout down at me and tell me what I am and should be, and they want me silenced so I can't speak out against them.
Antifa tactics on a supposedly redpilled site. Gee, I wonder where the mods are.
Jason, in case your twisted pea sized brain has forgotten, your former masters have publicly disavowed You, the very admin of this site has declared you fagola non grata.
You have no power here any longer. Your lunacy, your reactions, your professional victimhood, your newfaggotry and the putrid ichor erupting from every volume of the excepts you puke onto the digital space are self evident of the inexcusable perversion that is your author career. Im almost inclinded to print your story out just to do a ritual bookburning of this filth.
Wow, many words.
Now, decide if I'm...>that man who ruined your last Glimmerspamming raid on /mlpol/ years ago>some new guy
i dont care who you think you are, but i know what you are going to be.
>>3850>years ago>years plural>being this retarded
This might not fit the tone of the thread at all, but sometimes, I think a story where a young Star Apple tests out and practices his magic and experiments with the creation of the magitek stuff he'd sell as an adult, does other backstory stuff(spoilers), then he "Becomes" Silver Star and goes to the Canterlot Academy of Magical Duelling, pretending to be a rich pony as he tries to make friends and navigate social situations and learn combat magic and stuff, would be a better story than "Silver goes on a macguffin quest with the Mane Six, forms a relationship with Twilight after they get over their fangirl/fanboy phases, and they help him get over the emotional issues he thought he'd already gotten over".
I mean, okay? Doesn't change what was, especially since you're the author of the story.
>>3853>"""Earth Pony OC""">oh boy i sure like to write about magick and shit
Check your post faget
>>3832>20 chapters from now
OH GOD I'M NEVER GOING GET ANY REST AM I
>>3848>That's how you choose to view this?
As usual, the best way to respond to you is to throw your own words back at you.>Of course Commies won't like a story in which a pro-capitalist battle mage earns his way from rags to riches.
Again: "That's how you choose to view this?"
You honestly think that's why you're being shit on? Nigel, how many times do you need to be told this: YOU ARE BEING SHIT ON BECAUSE YOUR WRITING IS TERRIBLE.>Why should I care when they call my character "Toxic" and "Transphobic" and why should I care when they call me a "Racist" "sexist" "egotistical" "incel" and "lolcow"?
Literally no one has called you or your character any of these things, except lolcow. Well, "incel" probably applies as well, but you're the first one to mention it. I, however, have called your character badly written, obnoxious, egotistical, overpowered, and unsympathetic, because that is literally what he is. I've also spent most of the last two weeks thinking up inventive new ways to call him a faggot. As for you yourself, I have mostly called you a bad writer, which again applies. The shoe fits, Nigel. If you don't want to respond to the criticism you've been given then fine, but please stop making shit up.>I know about the charity work I've done, I know about the lives I've saved, I know about the good things I've done for this planet and western society and if they do know about it, they certainly wouldn't admit it or tell you about it, because it goes against the "Guys, look at CWC 2! Even worse than CWC 1!" narrative they're trying to build up so you don't think too hard about what I'm saying.
Fine, you do charity work, good for you. That changes literally nothing here, because the topic at hand is your writing, which is still just as objectively terrible as it was before you told us that. The irony here is you accuse all of us of being "leftists" or "SJWs", but you keep using SJW-tier bullshit arguments to defend yourself. Bragging about charity work is a fine example; the belief that good intentions justify any result is a frequent squawking point of leftists and SJWs.>They're liberals, shouting liberal words liberally.
Liberals, leftists, SJWs, Glimmerniggers, Manbearpig. It's always buzzwords and excuses with you. Get it through your thick limey skull Nigel: YOUR WRITING IS OBJECTIVELY BAD. That is what we are saying.>They keep repeating the "Your fanfic is the worst, you should get better at fanfic" and "You are the worst person, you should be a better person" lines, but if I listened to them… How would I improve?
You've been given ample advice on how to improve, you just refuse to listen. I've practically written a separate book just deconstructing your shitty fanfic, and I assume you've not even read a word of it. I don't even care; I didn't expect you to read it when I started. You tune out criticism better than leftists tune out crime statistics. At this point it's just writing advice for anyone interested in hearing my thoughts on the subject and entertainment for everyone else. However, I think if you were willing to simply step out of your own ego for a second and acknowledge that you aren't the greatest writer of all time, you might actually learn something.>If I listened to their "Advice" and wrote what they feel entitled to read, I'd end up writing on the level of that "And then Glimmer came back and molested Silver" story.
Yes, and at that point you would have written something objectively better than "Silver Star Apple and the Quest for YuGiOh Ripoffs and Incredibly Hard Butt Sodomy" or whatever the title of your work is. Ergo, you would have improved.>I'm already treating them far better than they're treating me.
No you're not. When you respond at all, you're petulant and whiny and act like you're being unfairly ganged up on. I'll remind you that you yourself started all this, just like you started it last year, and just like you'll start it again if you're masochistic enough to remain on this site after this.>One, what are my crimes?
Against the community or against literature itself? Because the answer to both questions would be "Silver Star Apple and The Quest for Having Entire Cantaloupes Shoved Inside His Ass">And two… There are pedophiles, on the internet. There are feminists, on the internet. There are parents who abuse their kids and proudly upload footage of this on the internet. There are Antifa members and supporters who proudly proclaim that they want the western world to die.
Yes, there are. That is relevant to this discussion about the quality of your writing in what way exactly?>Look at that "Monarchy VS Communism" picture, in which an anti-communist argument is reduced to something almost as absurd as pro-communist arguments.
I don't know what picture you're referencing. You know you can attach images to your posts, right? Anyway, ironically, most of us have said a similar thing about your argument scene with Glimmer. You reduce the conversation down to simplistic strawman arguments; the whole thing is basically just a reddit-tier No U debate.>The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of them. The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of their ideology and behaviour. The Liberals have to dismiss my criticism of their criticism. Because they can't handle it. They can't handle dissent.
I'm starting to think this is unironically what you think is actually happening here.>Gee, I wonder where the mods are.
Probably eating popcorn and laughing at you, same as the rest of us.
LITERALLY ANY CHANGE from what you have now would be an improvement. Your story has nowhere to go but up.
I explicitly said a number of things, with simple overall expectations in the resolution.
I'll even simplify them for you:
Even with your 'amazing' image in mind, the critiqued party (implying aggressed somehow lol) should not absolve themselves of responsibility, otherwise they obstruct to some degree their own self-improvement and overall-positive self-interests. Does that remind you of anyone?
Hilariously my response to the image was,
1. Positive, (not POZitive, but in the same vein as a positive-sum game).
3. The next step is something you've been provided constantly, horse, meet water.
>>3844>20 chapters from now>chapter 6>maybe about done with chapter 7.>"I'm about 80% done with the story"
Godamn you dont even know how to do basic math. Supposed 80% done with the story and all thats happened is random bullshit in the format of copycatting the show in your own spergy flavor with loosely connected "episodes" and you decided to use staright as a poor "season finale">Walking back to Ponyville together, something dawned upon Twilight. “Did we learn anything from that?”>“We learned there’s a Diamond Dog empire, and it wants to conquer Equestria,” Silver reminded her. "And that this town might be the perfect place for a break from Canterlot.">“I meant morally.” Twilight explained.>“Hmm...” Silver thought, and then he started speaking like he was reading a letter aloud. ”Dear Princess Twilight. Today I learned things that seem dangerous can actually be great! Also, Extreme Gears are amazing and you should buy one now!”>Everypony laughed, and the episode irised out
>>3862>Dear Princess Celestia,>Today I learned that Silver Star is the super most cutest cutie cute pony with awesome powers and great hair and oh my you I just want to let him do whatever he wants to me. Have you ever seen him do magic and stuff? OMG it's just totes amazorz!>I am therefore as of now resigning my post as Princess of Friendship to pursue my life's calling as President of the Silver Star is Great fan club. Also we're getting married!!! <3 <3 <3>Your Faithful Former Student,>Twilight Sparkle>PS he put a hot tub in my castle without asking, isn't that just the dreamiest thing ever? I'm totally going to let him do anal tonight.
>>3848> Writing a fanfic in which Glimmer loses.
You've completely lost the plot, because your stupidly long and padded with inane garbage fic has literally nothing to do with starlight until chapter 5 where shes just an afterthought of Nigelight. I did a ctrl f for "starlight" in your fic. Not ONE time is she even seen until your autistic sperg out in Chapter 6 where you decided you couldnt bear not letting your hate for starlight to go on any further, and it came out like a pot boiling over full of your own piss. Stop trying to even claim your story has anything to do with glimmer at all, because there is nothing there IS NO PLOT. The that effects your supposed main plot about magic tarot card crap, you know when you plagiarized Team Rocket verbatim? but then decided to bring them back with cards which im sure you plagiarized from some other anime.>And then the ground beneath them gave way, a pitfall trap leading into a chute that lead into the original one. Silver straightened his body to fall faster and he landed first, hooves flashing orange and absorbing the shock. His right forehoof’s orange energy formed a bouncy castle for the rest to bounce on, something Pinkie loved.>“How?!” Silver snapped at the tunnel walls, his voice echoing, his bouncy castle vanishing as Pinkie landed on Rainbow Dash.>The laughter of two haughty rich-pony voices, one male and one female, caught their ears, along with the laughter of a mare from Manehattan.>Or, at least, they thought these were ponies, until they looked up and saw the silhouetted figures of two Diamond Dogs.>“Prepare for trouble,
here in this cave!” The female figure announced, thin and lithe, with a spiralling catlike tail.>“And make it double, this could be your grave!” The buff male figure with huge hands announced.>“An evil as old as the land and sea...” She began.>“Sent here to fulfill our destiny!” He continued.>A smaller third figure popped up between them.
“And then, there’s me!” The manehattanite voice announced.>“To eat and drink to our hearts’ content!” Said the tall female.>“And hoard the rest without paying a cent!” Said the large male.>One by one, gems around them started to glow upon them like spotlights, properly illuminating them.
But startlight? you waste 30 fucking thousand words on the longest drivel in your fic yet, and for what? Starlight hasnt been introduced as a villain in your story, you just decide to force it on the reader and offload all her crimes you made up with no build up or backstory and then have an autismo narutard anime fight with her as if this is supposed to be a climax of the story and everyone is supposed to be engaged when it just comes completely out of the blue, and your own ass.
You are such a limp dick mother fucker that you wont even show her committing any so called crimes against a pony except your OC.
Learn how to fucking something with Acts in them if you want anyone to give a shit about your retarded ideas. The fact of the matter, is not the idea of Starlight being a commie thats a bad idea, or any of the other crap you made up. It's the fact you did a SHIT JOB at showing that to the reader why she's a villain and you think ONE scene where you unload all your spit raging fury about how you fucking hate starlight is good enough. YOU ARE A SHIT WRITER NIGEL. Walls of Autism about favoritism is not going to convince people to get the idea that Starlight is a bad character, it isnt even going to convince people that shes a villain and it sure as fuck wont convince anyone that your idea for starlight is better than Hasbros either.
>>3859>As usual, the best way to respond to you is to throw your own words back at you.
See, that's your problem: You aren't acting in good faith. You aren't trying to have a discussion with me, you're trying to berate me and my work until I "Give in" and "Lisun to u".
You aren't listening to what I have to say, liberal, but you feel entitled to be "Listened to" and to have your words taken as gospel.
When I say "Why are you doing x" or "Could you stop doing x", your response is "No ur doing x uwu".
Why? Because you recognize x as a bad thing, and you want people to believe I'm a bad man who has done bad things.
I'm the next Hitler, apparently, because I write fanfiction you don't approve of or enjoy reading.
So far, the only thing worth a damn that's been said about my Silver "Hurr durr he likes penis in his butt" Star story is that one bit where someone complained about the whole "You ask a question, then I ask a question" thing falling apart almost immediately like it does in most realistic conversations.
Good to know that didn't only bother me, I'll consider revising that part.
By the way, Glimmer isn't a season finale for this story. She's a footnote.
As for Glimmer doing evil… I was thinking of having her try to hit him with a Cutie Mark remover spell right after she loses their debate, instead of after he pushes her a little by fighting smarter than her, would that improve the story?
It would certainly make her more in-character. Hell, it's OOC for Glimmer to even last half as long as she did in that debate.
I mean, come on. When she has trouble talking to Big Mac, she forces him to talk(She'd be hilarious and far less detestable if the writers kept her from going beyond this level post-redemption). When five of the Mane Six critique her ideas on how to "Chill" effectively, she brainwashes them on the spot. On purpose, by mixing together some brainwashing spells. You can't even make the "Dark magic made her do it" excuse you could make with Trixie. When problems arise at the Nu-ling hive, she brings a monster that could kill them all. I know you stopped reading this part but you leftists who don't belong here really tip your hand and ruin the illusion when you say anti-commie political talk is something a story shouldn't contain. When Discord pisses her off, she laser-obliterates him and it was probably only an order from the executives that had the voice actor say "Actually no I just banished him so he can come back in the next scene". When her pseudo-boyfriend… did he try to leave her, or something? Anyway she age-regressed him over that. Oh, and she sold Trixie's house or some shit. One of my mates, he did hate Trixie more than Glimmer, but that scene (of all scenes? wtf man lol) made her hate Glimmer as much as me.
I'm probably forgetting some evil shit Glimmer has done. I'm probably leaving out some stuff from numlp episodes I didn't watch.
And despite all of her evil, she gets rewarded for it. She gets to be the Friendship School's leftist student counsellor person. She gets to TEACH TWILIGHT a thing or two about friendship. She gets to encourage Twilight to ignore the checks and balances on power. She gets to have Trixie plucked out of the writer's bin and assigned to her as the designated "Loser friend who makes Glimmer look better and saner". She gets to have a random inexplicable jump in power from "I can't beat one of Twilight's shields, and I can only take her mark if I get lucky" to "Not even the pissed-off embodiment of friendship and magic fighting for everything she holds dear can stop me from killing multiple millions every hour, and she can only get me to stop by offering me amnesty and a nice place at her castle", because the writers wanted her "Redeemed" and shoved down your throat as the "New" protagonist more than they wanted this character's arc to make any kind of sense.
She's already a villain, and you're fooling yourself if you think "The hero said she's redeemed so she's redeemed" works.
She's a fundamentally lazy villain, too. Yet another "Evil Twilight" done badly. Only so badly that someone involved with the show fell in love with her and ruined the show for her sake.
One more thing, if you think Silver Star Apple is a hypocritical egotistical knight templar cunt, it's intentional. He hasn't been through character development yet, and Twilight's still in the "He's so cool and smart, just like the books said he was!" phase.
32,000 words. 32,000 words, for a footnote.>>3867
You don't seem to get that we're not complaining about that. We're complaining about your methods, which are abysmal. If the reader can't tell if you're serious or not and has to slog through thousands of words of mischaracterizing, self-fellating trash to get even the semblance of a plot, there is a serious problem. Rather than reveal Glimmer's problems that actually exist, you hammer in artificial points and somehow make her much more sympathetic than the show ever did.>>3865
Again, just like one of those "chefs." It doesn't matter if Dickens, Hemingway or Shakespeare himself reviewed your tripe, you'd ignore his advice when you're very deserving of being berated. It's the (vastly more experienced) readers at fault, not you, and you can do no wrong. You deserve as many words of scorn as your glorified toilet paper is long.
I get that you, on a fundamental level, don't like the idea of a writer refusing criticism. And it'd be stupid to resent you for that, because I don't like seeing it either.
But criticism isn't this inherently perfect and valuable thing. Each piece of criticism only has as much value as it... well, has.
If someone says my story is shit because I ripped off Team Rocket for a villain group, well... The setting of MLPFIM kinda needs villains, and I like Team Rocket. They're also a godsend in the writing department, as they can be as threatening or as nonthreatening as the episode requires, without any change in their overall characterizations. Is Dinosaur King also shit for ripping off Team Rocket?
And yeah, 32k words is a footnote for me. If you think that's bad, wait until you see the Fequestria fic. Hope you don't like Zebras!
>>3865>I'm the next Hitler, apparently
Pfft, you wish.>You aren't listening to what I have to say
Nigger, I've spent literally the last two weeks wading through that river of shit you wrote line by line. I'm glad you've chosen to restructure at least one of the myriad flaws in your brutally awkward date scene, but I notice you still don't address the main point that was made, which is that your character spends the entire date blathering about himself and his mastery of autistic world physics, and pays Twilight about as much attention as he'd pay to a tape recorder he was talking into.
Your disrespectful writing of Twilight is probably my biggest gripe about your story, frankly even more so than your character's obnoxious superpowers and complete lack of interest in overcoming any actual challenge or ever pursuing any level of personal growth. Your presentation of her as some kind of squeaky toy whose only purpose in the story is to serve as something for Silver "hurr durr don't mind the sarcasm I unironically do enjoy penis in the butt" Star to shove his dick in is probably the most objectionable element in a story that is almost exclusively composed of objectionable elements. I am not the only person in either thread to have expressed this view.>When I say "Why are you doing x" or "Could you stop doing x", your response is "No ur doing x uwu".
I've made any number of specific points about your story that I object to, as have other anons. You never respond to specific points, all you do is make vague generalizations, then complain about being unfairly criticized without addressing any of the criticisms.
When someone says: "Your dialogue is weak and unconvincing" you go off on a random rant about leftists and Glimmer. When someone says: "Your narrative is rambling and unstructured, you frequently dump walls of text about unrelated subjects into your narrative, you frequently break the fourth wall to no good purpose, your story has no overarching theme, central conflict, character development, or even a coherent storyline," you start randomly calling everyone names like "Commissar" and "SJW" and flinging words like "transphobia" around, which nobody but you has brought up. I don't know if the issue is that you're incapable of responding to points made or if you simply don't want to acknowledge that points were actually made, but either way it's the behavior of an immature child who can't handle any level of criticism.
>>170256>I was thinking of having her try to hit him with a Cutie Mark remover spell right after she loses their debate, instead of after he pushes her a little by fighting smarter than her, would that improve the story?
See, this right here is exactly what your problem is. You don't know how to improve your story because you don't understand what's wrong with it in the first place. As I've said before, you write like a high school kid. You have no fundamental idea of how to build a story, your idea of constructing a narrative is just "I'll take this character and that character and have them fight" and then go on for pages and pages about how they fight. I really don't give two shits how Silver "you don't need no fancy grease, just get yourself some rump release" Star fights Starlight, or what move Starlight counters him with, or what super-cool-totally-not-ripped-off-from-any-anime-franchise final technique he uses to finish her. If you want to put crap like that into your stories once you've actually learned how to write, go ahead. But learn the fundamentals first. Exposition, rising action, climax, denouement, all that shit. Give the Hero's Journey blueprint a try. George Lucas can't write for shit, but he built a multimillion dollar franchise just by following that plan. Learn how to structure a narrative that isn't a meandering river of autism and learn how to write characters that are moving and convincing. Focus on all the dumb anime battle crap once you've figured that much out.>>3866>Hell, it's OOC for Glimmer to even last half as long as she did in that debate.
Nigel, the reader
can't even make it through half of that debate. I'm surprised Glimmer didn't leave to get a snack halfway through and just let your autistobot OC keep blathering. Cut. It. Down. That debate serves no purpose in your story and nobody wants to read it. Why is this simple concept so hard for you to grasp?
Also, do you even read things before you post them? This post is identical to the one above it with only slight revisions. You do this in your story too; you write a paragraph, then write the same paragraph below it with minor corrections to it. I don't get it, is this something you do consciously or do you just not know how to use your backspace key? You're not writing on parchment here, you can write a block of text, revise it, and then hit post you know.>One more thing, if you think Silver Star Apple is a hypocritical egotistical knight templar cunt it's intentional. He hasn't been through character development yet
Yeah, I get that. See, the problem is, your story goes on for easily twice the length of a regular novel, and from what I gather you're not even past the exposition yet. That's nuts. Nobody is going to want to sit and read something like this for this long with a character that is this unlikable. I get the overall direction you seem to be going with this, that Silver starts off as an asshole and eventually learns friendship or something, but so far we haven't seen him be anything but an asshole. This goes back into what I have told you probably hundreds of times at this point, that you don't know what you're trying to write. You probably have some general thread of a storyline somewhere in that rat's nest of a brain that makes sense to you, but you just write scene after scene after mind numbing, disconnected scene, and it's nothing but Silver "I use bowling balls as anal beads" Star being a complete dick to everyone. There is no other interpretation anyone can reasonably make about this character based on what you've written. >Twilight's still in the "He's so cool and smart, just like the books said he was!" phase.
Why is it a given that she would even be in this phase to begin with? It's as I've said: you either have no respect for Twilight whatsoever or completely fail to understand her character. Twilight is highly intelligent, and since you're writing about her at a post-princess-ascension part of the series timeline, she has a grasp of how social relationships work as well. There is literally no circumstance in which this character would ever behave like the kind of ditzy teenage moron you're writing her as. She would not immediately fall head over hooves for someone who behaves like this much of a self-absorbed asshole; even if she liked him or was attracted to him on some level she wouldn't just fawn all over him like a giddy schoolgirl.
And in any event, any romantic subplot in any
kind of story is only interesting if there is something to develop. There needs to be tension. The two characters need to be different from each other somehow, they need to have friction points, they need to piss each other off. If you start off with a flawless, dashing protagonist and ship him with a girl who is just madly in love with him from the get-go, you have nothing to work with. Nobody cares about it, you've lost the reader's interest. Everything you write just comes off as egotistical dick-fluffing.
Seriously, go on Udemy and shell out the $20, or pounds or euros or whatever you people have, and take a basic class on how to write fiction. Even just learning a few simple, basic things will help you tremendously.
>And yeah, 32k words is a footnote for me. If you think that's bad, wait until you see the Fequestria fic. Hope you don't like Zebras!
One more thing. Word count alone is not something to brag about. You talk about writing 32k words as a footnote like that's something to be proud of. It isn't. I'm going to quote you something I wrote about you earlier:
>32,223 words, 24,535 of which consist of a single scene. The argument scene between Glimglam and Silver "yummy cummy in my tummy" Star accounts for about 76% of this incredibly bloated text. For a point of reference, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald clocks in at 48,413 words. Do the math. Your autistic pony story, which can be summarized in its entirety as "MC goes on date, talks about himself, robs girlfriend's house, shim shams the Glim Glam (spoiler alert: you can't shim sham the Glim Glam), the end", is approximately 67% the length of one of the most highly regarded novels ever written in the English language. 24,535 words into TGG takes us to roughly the part where Gatsby is showing Daisy his house. In the length of time it takes you to lay out one scene, F. Scott Fitzgerald lays out his exposition, introduces all major characters along with their conflicts and backstories, and is chugging along at a fair clip through the rising action portion of his narrative. That is literally insane.
If you could write quality works of that length, that would be one thing. Some authors just write long novels, it happens. If a novel is good nobody cares how long it is. But usually long novels are long for good reason. Usually it's because there is a lot of complicated plot to go over, or there are a lot of characters doing different things simultaneously (George R.R. Martin comes to mind). Point is, shit is usually happening in long novels that makes them long. Your novel, or story, or whatever you consider this work to be, is really not complicated at all. You brag about writing 32k words, but virtually nothing happens during the entire expanse of those words. Silver goes to a party, he has an argument, the argument turns into a fight, he wins the fight, the end. You don't need 32k words to say all that.
This, once more, goes back to a point I've already made before: that you have no ability to filter what should and what shouldn't be in the text of your story. You go off on tangents constantly throughout what I've read of this work. Your entire argument scene is nothing but huge walls of text comprised of shit you believe about shit that has nothing to do with the FiM universe, and strawman arguments about shit you don't believe that also has nothing to do with the FiM universe, being dumped into quotes and forced into your characters' mouths. The fact that you slap labels like "Equalism" or "Harmonism" on your points to try to awkwardly wedge them into the universe doesn't help any of it one bit. You could literally chop out all 24,535 words of that argument scene and it would not detract anything significant out of your text. Not a single goddamn thing.
Continuing to use the Great Gatsby as a yardstick for measuring the length of this behemoth, if you subtracted 24,535 from the length of the text, starting from the back, you would be left with a story about a man who moves to New York, has dinner with his cousin and her husband, meets the fat chick his cousin's husband is cheating on her with, and goes to a party. It wouldn't even get you to the end of chapter 3. 24,535 words is the bulk of Fitzgerald's story. 24,535 words is a "footnote" of yours. Think about that.
>>3866>As for Glimmer doing evil… I was thinking of having her try to hit him with a Cutie Mark remover spell right after she loses their debate, instead of after he pushes her a little by fighting smarter than her, would that improve the story?>She's a fundamentally lazy villain.
You want to talk about lazy villains? Let's see some lazy, Nigel.You are fucking lazy ass wannabe-writer.
Having her use the removal spell will not improve your story or even that chapter. It does not change a god damn thing about how you havent set her up as a villain. I won't give a shit about your "hurr starlight is already a villain because I say so" low functioning autism because you lack the ability to discern human emotions and neither will anyone else. STOP INSERTING YOURSELF INTO EVERY GODAMN CORNER OF FIM.
It's nauseating how often this happens and it's narcissistic as fuck. The fic is RIFE with it, every. single. chapter. From start to finish.
In Chapter 6 you literally have her show up in a party minding her own business and then your faggot OC attacks her for no reason, wow she's having punch better put a STOP to THAT! The faggot doesnt even know her personally and he has no vendetta against her. You did a shit job on setting up a supposed "hero" and "villain". Starlight's nemesis was Twilight and maybe by association the mane6 would have their own feelings about her since they experienced Our Town. But nobody else on the good side was ever negatively effected by her actions, not even the other princesses and even muh timey-wimey line crap wouldnt actually know it was Starlight that caused it so they arent her enemies either.>When five of the Mane Six critique her ideas on how to "Chill" effectively, she brainwashes them on the spot.
Hmm where have I heard this exact blogpoint before?
Oh yes. From Silver "Witness me! This open full drum of silver paint is going up my ass" Star >“And you spat on it! You smirked at it, stepped on it, and spat on it! Twilight gave you new friends to latch on to, AND YOU BRAINWASHED THEM, because when you wanted to ‘Chill out"
Look at that, he has knowledge about something that happened that he was NEVER PART OF. AND NEVER WOULD KNOW OF, SINCE THEY NEVER TOLD HIM. He only just met the mane6, has never met Starlight until this point and suddenly he's going to start offloading all this trash straight out of your mouth about her personal history which is an impossibility for Silver to know, the only reason it's part of the conversation is so you can get all the autistic screeching about her out at once. He's just YOU and your mouthpiece. He knows about this because you know about this. He's angry about this because you are. One can not separate Silver's cock from your asshole and thats why your story tanks. You are an insufferable sociopath autist, and thus so is Silver.
He isn't part of some made up MLP time-police who's watching past present and future, and punishes people who mess with it. Here is no trial for her crimes at the end of the narutarded fight, it's just a self-absorbed decision he makes on his own thanks to your god complex and the same god complex you gave him because he is just YOU. This is why you reject every single piece of criticism. HE IS YOU. And you cant handle the fact everyone fucking hates Silver because you take it personally.
A non-existent backstory of how Silver rose to power through sucking a magical cock off a genie he found in return for infinite power and wealth, but now he's cursed to be thirsty for more dick. The only one who exists in the current dimension that fits the bill of 'nemesis' for redeemed Starlight is Chryalis after screwing over the hive so she has her. Not your faggy ass OC who has NO HISTORY WITH HER, not even one you decide to make up like your forced history of how Silver 'recognized' Twilight from the magic academy. >Evil Twilight done badly
You criticize it and yet, you arent doing anything better for making Starlight into a better villain. Your idea 'My godly OC removed her ''''universal favoritism'''' so now everyone can hate her like she's meant to be, because I hate her too reeee' and then have a one sided 'debate' over gommunism so she must be evil) is 10 times worse and it's the laziest godamn thing anyone could possibly come up with, it's logic I would expect out of an elementary school kid. But this is someone who thinks copy-pasting Team fucking Rocket who are complete 1-note joke characters is a good villain for MLP instead of coming up with anything original or interesting. A long winded one sided argument of puppets who push the button of autistic sperging about gommunism isnt worth shit as a villain. Your ideas are nothing more than half baked at best, one dimensional cardboard characters or stolen concepts with endless paragraphs of meaningless trival tripe that you think is exposition. Your ideas arent worth shit.
>>3874>In Chapter 6 you literally have her show up in a party minding her own business and then your faggot OC attacks her for no reason
You know what's even more stupid? Take a moment and look at the OP. See a discrepancy here?>Who wants to see a fanfic in which, halfway through chapter one, my donut steel OC debates Glimmer and then kicks her ass when she attacks him?>kicks her ass when she attacks him?>when she attacks him?
It's almost like OP knows starting shit at a party and throwing the first punch isn't exactly a heroic act. And since he won't shut the fuck up about SJWs, YOU KNOW WHO ELSE PUNCHES PEOPLE WITH OPPOSING POLITICAL BELIEFS WITHOUT PROVOCATION IN PUBLIC SETTINGS, NIGEL
Also >debates and then kicks her ass
Last time I checked Nigel he started the encounter with a Shonen Jump punch.
He's trying to reference the point where Starlight is 'seething at how capitalism-pony incarnate is so much better than her.' AFTER he insults everything about her for 20 minutes, and even makes a dig with Starbust so she punches him. AGAIN. ONLY TWILIGHT KNOWS ABOUT HER PAST WITH LOSING SUNBURST. FUCK OFF NIGEL.
Then his shit OC puts some narutist spell on her and 'has a calm debate' on how gommunism is bad. before the full narutoardlet fight breaks out.
It's just as much complete trash as the first time he attacked her out of the blue, and Nigel thinks this is making Silver the 'better pony' who will talk it out. You know AFTER reacting to a single physical punch from her pushing her buttons over and over and reopening wounds withBS knoweldge from the void he couldnt ever know. He reacts to the punch with the threat of INSTANT DEATH. What a hero, totally someone who is worth listening to and getting behind, someone who would ever exist in FiM.>"FOALS get sad when their friends move away, and whether it takes a few days or a few weeks, they eventually GET OVER IT.” Silver explained. “But YOU... you blamed his departure on Cutie Marks, and you let that hate inside you grow and consume you until you wasted your whole life searching for a way to take revenge on the very idea of Cutie Marks...” He smirked. “When you know in your heart that if he cared for you as much as you cared for him, he would have turned that offer down and stayed with you.”>Glimmer punched him in the face, but it was like punching a titanium sculpture. Even the area she’d touched seemed to have been transmuted to metal by some kind of spell, though only temporarily. She chipped her hoof, and screamed.>“I’m invincible when I’m angry,” He explained. “Old Pandarian secret. Did I tell you about the time I skipped my Magic College’s Spring Break party in Las Haygas to study magical secrets all over Neighpon and Pandaland? It’s one of a few neat little tricks I picked up, while learning how to control my rage, so it doesn’t control me. I used to have some issues with that. Here’s another one.”>His horn lit up, and with the accuracy of a Sherrif, he fired a brief, sharp laser at one of the balloons. It pierced right through, but instead of popping the balloon, it remained whole, as if it was a watermelon somepony had shot a laser through. The two holes on either side of the balloon spun and turned black, peeling off the balloon like stickers, leaving unharmed blue rubber behind, and flying through the air like thrown shuriken, before curving and flying at Glimmer. She flipped over a table full of food and used it as a shield, and the holes stuck themselves onto the table, becoming real holes once again.>She sighed in relief.>And then, far faster than before, before she could even react, they turned black again and shot straight at her, sticking to her like the icy hands of death itself and crawling across her body like scuttling insects, until one rested on her right Cutie Mark and one rested on the side of her horn.“All I have to do is think it, and those fake holes turn into real ones,”
Silver explained. “The technique in question is called Eye Of The Needle, a technique from a magical martial arts style the Pandas invented.
Knowing Nigel's track record, this spell is probably stolen from World of Warcraft.
>>3875>attacks her for no reason
Sure, because who would tackle and disarm a known mass-murderer if he didn't also know that mass-murderer had been pardoned?
Didn't he also apologize to her for opening with a takedown, upon learning that she had been pardoned?
If you want to make my story look bad, you should call it unrealistic that he didn't already know about the pardon.
By the way, someone complained about the "The Shining Silver Star of the Apple Family" title.
I get it, and I agree, that's why I changed it to "Silver Star Apple and the Search for More Money, Love, Magic Cards, and the Meaning of Life" a while ago.
Only in your mind, and in your shitty fic>>3878
You can pour syrup on shit, that doesn't make it pancakes
Remember what >>3876
said:>...and even makes a dig with Starbust so she punches him. AGAIN. ONLY TWILIGHT KNOWS ABOUT HER PAST WITH LOSING SUNBURST.
So, he didn't know she got pardoned of her crimes when he was familiar enough with Glimmer's shared home, Twilight's castle, to install a goddamn jacuzzi into it. He didn't know that someone walking free had been pardoned when she was literally living with Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Fucking Friendship.
He either knows Twilight, or he doesn't. Make up your mind, Nigel.
Uh... can you math?>>3880
I thought I'd already implied enough about how the clones and their shared knowledge works, but Twilight was giving him a quick rundown of her entire life's story while this distraction party was happening.
He knew about the shit castle because he went into it earlier in the story. He decided to fix it up because that's how he's used to impressing mares he likes: Big gifts and a charming smile only Twilight is smart enough to see through.
Sure. For example, in the last 4 hours you've uploaded 99 videos to YouTube, 66 of which are WWE2018, consisting of a combined total of just over 2000 minutes - or close to 34 hours - of wrestling video. However, >pic related
was the one that really stood out to me.
If anyone is wondering, the complete title is "PONY SLAMS HOOVES ON PIANO AND ASKS IF YOU'RE BIG ENOUGH">>3834
You really didn't do him justice. I couldn't see all
his videos (my computer doesn't have enough ram) but good god he's as blatantly and completely self-unaware on YouTube as he is in print.
Since it wouldn't be fair to judge him on today's/recent uploads, let's look at his Plague Inc Evolved videos from 3 months ago; 75 videos with 22 combined
views (and note, when you upload a video and watch it yourself, you get 1 view).
This cow has a whole shelf full of milk, ready and in stock.
If Jason worked in the fertizer business, he would have been a made man. He had that decisive reverse Midas touch: Everything he comes in contact with turns immediately to shit.>>3881>>3847
I dont know when this Pseudo Ban notice was added, but suck on that mod slong Jason. Pic related.
>>3881>I thought I'd already implied enough about how the clones and their shared knowledge works, but Twilight was giving him a quick rundown of her entire life's story while this distraction party was happening.
The clones are actually a big part of your problem. Large parts of this story are just difficult to understand because it's hard to tell who's a clone and who's the real Silver. There are multiple places where I had to read over the same section multiple times because I couldn't figure out what was going on; it sounded like Silver was in multiple places at once, then it turns out "oh, it was his clone." The story gets exponentially more complicated according to the number of Silvers there are in any given scene.
And the thing is, the clones are completely unnecessary. The example you give here only proves that you just use them as fix-a-flat to cover your plot holes and to give your character an excuse for being completely omniscient. It's the laziest, most amateurish hack technique you could possibly use to explain away legitimate questions the reader might have. Beyond that it's just another stupid power that he doesn't need to have; get rid of it and your story will improve.>He knew about the shit castle because he went into it earlier in the story. He decided to fix it up because that's how he's used to impressing mares he likes: Big gifts and a charming smile only Twilight is smart enough to see through.
Twilight being smart enough to see through his bullshit must be something you have planned for later in the story, because it doesn't come through at all in what you've written. He's done nothing but bullshit her so far, and she's done nothing but suck his dick.
Its evident from all his "content" that he spends an obscene amount of time playing video games and watching anime, and taking everything he thinks is cool and writing it into Semen Star's Story. I could speculate how he manages so much time (probably not unlike CWC) but I don't even want to go there. In any case, its evident that he is neither creative - plagiarizing everything, and poorly at that - and then like shoving it in everyone's face like a soiled diaper who, when called out for his shitty (literally and figuratively) behavior, accuses his detractors of whatever just-as-valid-as-his-perceived-greatness term he can draw from a very loose and non-comprehensive browsing of reddit, 4chan, and other sites.
Oh, but his reputation and reception is a conspiracy against him, let's not forget.
Can you world build?
Not that I'm defending this fuccboi, but I'll give credit where credit's due: if you go to his uploads and sort by popularity you'll find videos that are actually popular (hard to believe but bear with me). Hell, his most popular vid is an All Star shitpost with 23k views, plus several others that were able to get quadruple digit views. But they're a couple of years old. Why he can't get views like that anymore, who knows, maybe he hasn't adapted to the changing algorithms, maybe it has something to do with the 'throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks' approach to making vids that I mentioned earlier.
I made a video with a thousand views in one month literally just rambling to a webcam about how hard bein' a nerd was and how Gamers must Rise Up. I wasn't even a teenager, I was like 11. I quoted KJ-52's song Revenge of the Nerds as substance for my point.
It's seriously not hard to get a thousand views. Never was.
You got me there, I was looking at his work in the last year since that pertains to his appearance on Mlpol
The clones are there to make his wide arsenal and quickness in obtaining new abilities less impressive. Anyone can become a master at something if they can spend a week pouring over 1000 hours into mastering it, after all.>>3886
Turn your flag back on and tell me if you know what "14x8" is. Then tell me if it's greater than, or less than, fourty. It'll make sense eventually. Sorry about how smug this sounds, I can't think of a nicer way to word it.>>3887
I'm not making money from Youtube and I probably never will, so I upload for fun. The game was rigged from the start, so why stress too hard over it? If I get fame and fortune, I can get political power and make the game less rigged.>>3885
You know, if you word that post differently, do you know what you end up with?
"He plays a lot of video games and watches a lot of anime. He shoves a lot of it into a fanfic he wrote for free. He's mean and he says mean things to people who critique him! He also thinks a group of people who follow him from site to site are following him from site to site."
Scroll up and you'll see one redditor post his own reddit username, while telling someone else to message him there so he can post a link to the Anti-Silver Star Apple Discord Server.
I've been quite nice to actual critics who had something to contribute to the story. But why do the people who complain about the story's genre and fundamental aspects feel entitled to have it rewritten from the ground up to suit them?
You think Silver's too strong? He lost a fight one chapter ago and he'll lose some more fights later on.
You think Twilight's in love with Silver? Give it a minute, he'll fuck it up like the smug autist he is.
You think I share the personality flaws this character has? I don't think I do. My many friends also don't think I do. One friend said I was a bit "Overbearing" in political discussions two years ago, and I respect that guy, so I tried to be less overbearing in political discussions. I chose character flaws from a big-ass list and assigned them to Silver to make him a more interesting protagonist than the typical "Generic human with no character traits goes to Equestria and is loved by all" stories you typically see in the HiE pseudo-Isekai Anime genre.
I don't want to sound pushy, as I'm trying to be a less pushy person. But you're absurdly mad at me for a lot of things that aren't really objectionable at all.
Mind if I check something?
>>3891REPORTED TO THE SOUTH YORKSHIRE POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR INTERNET HATE SPEECH
>>3890>The clones are there to make his wide arsenal and quickness in obtaining new abilities less impressive.
So instead of giving your character every learned ability under the sun, you give your character the ability to clone himself so that different versions of himself can learn every ability under the sun simultaneously and then share the knowledge with each other, and that's supposed to somehow make the whole thing less ridiculous? You honestly believe your character is less of a gigantic, improbable, poorly-written douche because of this? I refuse to believe that even you are this autistic.
The clones are exactly what I said they are: they're a lazy way of explaining away obvious flaws in your story. One of which happens to be: "how could this character become a master of physical combat AND a master of magic AND a master of the sciences AND write 200 books AND communicate with porpoises AND do all the other ridiculous shit he does?" Oh, the answer is he just fucking makes infinite copies of himself and has each copy learn a different thing, well that explains it perfectly doesn't it?
This is the kind of idea a twelve year old would come up with, and a fourteen year old would realize was fucking stupid.>Anyone can become a master at something if they can spend a week pouring over 1000 hours into mastering it, after all.
No, actually they can't. There are literally 168 hours in a week. It is physically impossible to spend more than 168 hours a week doing anything, and that's assuming every single second is devoted to that task; no eating, sleeping or going to the bathroom. Any one of the disciplines Silver "spray my shitter with liquid nitrogen because I want you to literally wreck it" Star is the undisputed master of would take a lifetime to become the undisputed master of. 168 hours a week is nothing. Hell, 1000 hours is nothing.
If you consider that the average person is awake roughly 16 hours per day, 1000 cumulative hours is about 62 days. Could you become a master martial artist in 62 days? A PhD-level scientist? Master the guitar? No, you couldn't.
Even if Silver "lube your fist up with strawberry jam so the next guy to eat my ass gets a tasty treat" Star could clone himself and use his clones to learn things, it would still take them longer than he's been alive to attain the skill level he's at. Even if you want to make him a polymath with ridiculous powers you still have to use at least a modicum of common sense.
>>3889>Yandere Simulator>Sanic>Undertale>Steven Universe>Wrestling>Shit tier normie memes>Mr. Enter>hours upon hours of shit tier gameplay
The absolute state of Jasons Youtube channel. Look at all this autism. If i did not know better id almost think this was secretly Chris Chans. I hated almost all of these things years before i stumbled over you and to know that Jason took time out of his day to make dozens of videos about it is truly the cherry on the shit icecream. How do you even manage day to day life? I recommend you upload a housetour next to educate us on the matter.
I almost didn't bother writing this post to you and I have honestly descided to stop. I gaiin nothing from this futiled exercise.>>3884>Twilight being smart enough to see through his bullshit must be something you have planned for later in the story, because it doesn't come through at all in what you've written. He's done nothing but bullshit her so far, and she's done nothing but suck his dick.
Forshadow that Twi and silver will have a cconflict by having Twi roll her eyes at Silver's
comments othervise we don't expect your story to change after 30,000 words so why stay around to read more?>You think Twilight's in love with Silver? Give it a minute, he'll fuck it up like the smug autist he is.
But I can't read a 30,000 words in a minute. >>3847
It seems that after the mods told him this Nigel has actually begun answering some of our critism.
This is the important part of this post. I am curious what do you, the writer of this story, think of the first chapter? Why did you write it that way? What do you find intresting with it? What do you find enjoyable about this piece?
I was going to write: Exactly. Since I agree with glimglam's post.
>>3890>I've been quite nice to actual critics who had something to contribute to the story.
Your problem is you define "actual critics" as people who tell you things that you're willing to hear. You define "contributions" or suggestions as anything that you can add or change that won't significantly modify what you've already written, or would require any level of serious revision. In short, you believe that your story is basically perfect the way it is and anyone who tells you differently is just a troll or a hater.>But why do the people who complain about the story's genre and fundamental aspects feel entitled to have it rewritten from the ground up to suit them?
I don't personally give a shit what genre you want to write in, or rather I am capable of separating my personal genre preferences from the aspects of your work that make it objectively bad regardless of genre. This is what you're not getting.
If you want to take MLP and turn it into fucking Pokemon-tier shonen manga, then go ahead. I would probably roll my eyes at it and think it was a bad idea, but if you wrote it well I would at least acknowledge that it was written well, even if I didn't personally like it. Your problem is that you don't write well; you don't even write passably.
You don't understand basic, fundamental aspects of what makes a story, literally any story in any genre, good. You don't understand how to avoid the things that make a story, literally any story in any genre, bad. You make common, amateur-hour mistakes: crafting a Mary Sue protagonist, improbable world physics, poor narration techniques, continuity errors, poor characterization, poorly-written dialog, poor narrative structure, leaving spelling errors and typos uncorrected, breaking the fourth wall. You do literally all these things and more. In and of itself that's not a cardinal sin, as most beginning writers make the same mistakes; what is more galling than anything else is that you just ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to acknowledge that these things are flaws. You take the old "it's not a bug it's a feature" mantra to such ridiculous heights even Steve Jobs would be astounded by your pigheaded arrogance.
The reason you have been told, repeatedly, by myself and multiple other anons, to rewrite this story from the ground up, is because if you want to salvage this story, YOU NEED TO REWRITE IT FROM THE GROUND UP. At a minimum it needs heavy, heavy revision and a good chunk of its length truncated.
Whether or not a given artistic work is "good" or has artistic value tends to be a subjective discussion that relies a lot on personal tastes and how one chooses to define both "art" and "good". However, an objectively bad artistic work is easy to spot and is pretty much universally identifiable. I will demonstrate.
I've attached three images to this post. Pic 1 is a piece of erotic MLP fan art. Whoever drew this has obvious technical skill; this is not the kind of image an absolute amateur could sit down and reproduce. Whether or not there is any artistic value to it depends on your definition of artistic value. In this case, the artist can be said to objectively have technical skill; the artistic value of the work produced, however, is subjective.
Pic 2 is Convergence by Jackson Pollock. People have been arguing over whether or not there is any artistic value to this for decades. People have also been arguing over whether or not Pollock had any technical skill. I for one would say that whoever painted Derpy's vagina probably had more technical skill than Pollock, but at the same time you probably won't see erotic Derpy paintings hanging in an art museum any time soon (Sad!). In short, both the technical quality and the artistic value of this work are subjective.
Pic 3 is an illustration by Christian Weston Chandler. From both a technical and an artistic perspective, it is objectively bad. There is no irony or parody in this work; this is literally as good as he can draw. There is no room for interpretation here, this artist has no skill whatsoever. The artistic value of the work is also objectively nonexistent. There is no message or meaning to this, it's just a poorly-rendered drawing of some autistic kid's fantasy. You don't even need to put this much thought into it to see that it's bad; most people would just look at this and tell you it's bad. Quality art is subjective to some extent, but bad art is objective and universally recognizable.
Pic 3 is your work, Nigel, whether you want to admit it or not. You will never improve until you can read what you've written and understand why it is objectively bad. It has nothing to do with your choice of genre, or even your overpowered, arrogant ass of an OC. Silver Star could probably be turned into an interesting character in the hands of a competent writer; the problem here is that you are not a competent writer. My advice (even though I know you won't take it) is to rip this thing to shreds, learn to write, and then try it again when you've improved somewhat.
>>3894>Time out of his day
Again, I reference the 34ish hours of wrestling videos he recently posted; that's more that just 'time out of his day.
As for that list, those are his 'popular' videos. The overwhelming bulk of his 5000+ vids are a graveyard of "No Views", and what videos do
have views are either reposts of existing videos and songs, poorly mashed together songs that have no business being mashed together (his ear is as refined as is his pen), and yes those video game videos.>manage everyday life
I'm not sure if that comment is directed at me or not, but I'll bite. I'm currently on an extended vacation, preparing to start a personal business. A house tour is out of the question, but I'll be happy to provide how-to videos as my business partner and I build our workshop.
the request for a housetour video was adressed at Jason, my apologies. I should have worded that better. But if you think making how to videos about your new workshop business would be of interest, go ahead. >>3897
I dont think you can point out to Jason more clearly with obvious means how his writing is perceived without beating him over the head with a stack of papers.
>>3897>but at the same time you probably won't see erotic Derpy paintings hanging in an art museum any time soon (Sad!)
I'd settle for a monument being erected (no pun-intended) in Bubble Butt's honor.
I'm curious, what would you prefer that my youtube channel be? Minecraft? Fortnite? Schut Games? Please keep in mind that you're talking to a "Poorfag" here, someone who can't afford the latest shit without a lot of saving and/or commission work.>>3895
I answered some criticism a lot earlier in the thread. I could scroll up and find it if you want, but this is a big thread so it might take a while to find.
I think the first chapter is a bit dry, but I needed to establish who and what Silver is before he met the ponies. Too many writers forget to make their OC a person outside of the mane six and what they think of him, y'know? Also Silver insults that "The supposedly smart character repeatedly insults someone to show off how smart he supposedly is" trope. How different he acts around each of the three groups once he's separated them with walls is also a character trait I wanted to establish early on.>>3897>Your problem is you define "actual critics" as people who tell you things that you're willing to hear
I stopped reading there. I'm sure it'll make you happy to hear that, because it strengthens the "Silver is mean and evil and dumb and that's why he doesn't think my criticism is cool and that's why he's mean and evil" narrative you also tried to push in that fimfic thread I got banned for complaining about. But I've read you saying the same shit multiple times in this thread between posts in which I respond to actual critics quite nicely, so I guess it all balances out.
You're saying I don't listen to any critics unless they're sucking my cock. But have the critics I've talked to and given the time of day in this thread been sucking my cock? My cock doesn't feel very sucked.
You're just mad because I'm not listening to your criticism. As for why...
I'm honestly getting a bit tired of people who think "This story is shit, stop writing it! You're the worst writer ever and you're worse than/just as bad as Chris-Chan! You're gay AIDS and your OC likes penis in his ass! Downvoted lmao!" is the height of literary criticism.
When I showed you a pic on how to get better at criticism, what did y'all respond with? I should have just written /thread there, it would have been funny. And because that's the thread you want to turn this into. You want to throw shit at me until it sticks. You want to call me bad words until people who didn't read the whole thread just assume that where there's smoke (even if it is coming from liberal ears), there must also be fire. You feel entitled to enjoy everything you see and click and consume, even the stuff bored people make for free. And you're trying to make me out to be some kind of horrendous monster because you really, really, really didn't enjoy the pony fanfic I wrote for fun.
I'm just some youtuber. I'm just some writer. I'm just some content-creator, and artist. I'm not any of the things many famous people in this fandom are. I'm honestly kind of boring.
From what you've said to me so far, I don't think my writing would improve if I took your bitching and word salad pseudo-criticism "It fundamentally fails as a suspicious person truncated world physics story! Also you are LITERALLY HITLER AND TRIGGERING ME WITH YOUR AGGRESSIVE AND STANDOFFISH BEHAVIO - wait no I'm on a nazi site - YOU ARE LITERALLY THIS EGOTISTICAL TRANSGENDER NERD NOBODY PRESENT LIKES!" nonsense all that seriously. You want to seem like a critic, but you don't want to be a good or helpful one. You're just in this game because lazy criticism is easy. You're saying bad things about my fic because you didn't personally like it, and that makes you mad, and I make you mad.
I make you very, very mad. I'm not really sure why, since if I'd done anything to seriously offend you on that pony site you got me banned from by sucking admin cock(nice projection btw), you would have posted screenshots of that. You're mad, without a reason to be mad, and you're looking for a reason to be mad at me anywhere you can find it. You and your friends went through my Youtube videos, my DeviantArt pictures... Hell, I'm surprised nobody posted that absurdly-buff Akira pic I once made after losing a bet, leaving the context behind it out while trying to claim I'm some kind of weird fetishist for muscular men.
Your criticism isn't valid.
I don't believe all criticism is invalid, that's just something you've told yourself to soften the blow to your ego. I've listened to you, and that's why I don't think continuing to listen to you would help me improve as a writer.
You're not a good critic. I've seen youtube commenters who are better at criticizing things.
You're mad at me and you want me slandered and torn down like the leftist you are, and all it took to trigger this rage was for me to post a fanfic you personally don't like.
But if you didn't personally like my fanfic, well... So what? I wasn't paid to make a product you'd like. If I was, then sure, you'd have a reason to be this mad over pony fanfic horse words. But you didn't like my fanfic, and that's okay. You aren't really supposed to, because you aren't in its target audience. I'm trying to write MLPFIM as an action cartoon while also trying to preserve its core messages and themes better than nu-fim did when it decided it wanted to exclusively pander to you. It isn't supposed to be one of those excessively-upvoted HiE fics where the human is some bland guy you can project yourself as, or one of those short and shitty non-story scenes that exist to make normies shallowly feel cliche feels. This isn't some Nested Reddit Comment Chain in Fanfic form, like the "Semen Series" or the "Would it matter if I was" series. This isn't some mass-market story, this is the story of Silver and the Mane Six.
>>3901https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7n_1zsCVBxw>I stopped reading there.>My cock doesn't feel very sucked.>You're just mad>You want to seem like a critic, but you don't want to be a good or helpful one.>You're mad, without a reason to be mad,>hat pony site you got me banned from by sucking admin cock>Your criticism isn't valid.>like the leftist you are,>you aren't in its target audience.>this is the story of Silver and the Mane Six.
I don't know what you mean; criticism should be:
3. Provide a next step.
What's math got to do with this?
Is this more nonsense about you overblowing one fag from a site for fags following you onto a different site, also for fags? Because you seem awfully obsessed with making that sound like it was multiple people following you 'across multiple sites.'
-and how does leddit factor into all of this anyway? People sharing leddit usernames? Where? Provide the proofs.
>>3901>inb4 "stopped reading there">what should my YouTube be?
Its not a matter of what it should be, its assessing what it is. Being a poorfag doesn't preclude one from making content that people actually want
to consume, rather than just recording what one is doing
and assuming (hoping) that people want to consume it. The same goes for your Fic. If you make something decent, I'll personally
support your work, but I/others don't pay for trash, though we do pay to have it removed.>criticism
Yeah, I was the guy who gave you ideas about how to give Silver weaknesses that would necessitate the participation of the Mane without making them retarded shadows of their original character. I'm still waiting btw. I did warn you, I am an asshole. ^_~>Silver is mean and dumb
Not mean, just dumb. Seriously though, its not a narrative, its evident fact.>You're [all] just dumb
More deflections, par for the course I guess.>Nice criticism
This is a good point, but not for the reasons you think it is. Have you ever read an article or a post or an editorial by a professional critic? They're not constructive, they're about calling out the failings; what the recipient does with the criticism is their
business, not that of the critic. The job of a critic is to thoroughly assess something from a position of expertise, familiarity, and authority, and Glim Glam has done that in spades, yet I doubt you've read more than the first two words. As far as the 'friendliness', did you expect other/special treatment cuz there's the underlying theme of FiM? You obviously missed the underlying /pol/ theme. Also, there are plenty (most, especially of those who are paying attention) who would be happy if you did
/thread, but that wouldn't feed into your narcissism, would it?>I'm just some youtuber/writer/'content'-'creator'/artist
In all legitimacy, you should put a "really bad" in front of all that; such a realization would immediately help to improve your work, but you won't do that cuz reasons.>Word salad
There's that absent self-awareness you've been repeatedly criticized for.
I'm gonna jump around a bit, please bear with.>Your criticism isn't validsigh>You're not a good critic
Since you can't differentiate between good writing and bad, it stands to reason that you would likewise be unable to distinguish between good criticism and bad.>want me slandered
Is it slander to present your
work and allow people to reach their own conclusions? No one is required to agree with the criticisms levied, and yet everyone seems to. Must be slander, it couldn't possibly be cuz there's merit to the criticisms. Carry on, mightiest of authors.>better than nu-fim
There it is, your one-armed man. This explains your beef with Glimmer, your self-inserting, and the piss-poor narrative explanations and justifications. You're trying to single-handedly right/write
the wrongs of the last few seasons of FiM. The trouble is, you're observably (and painstakingly, as evidenced by Glim Glam) not qualified to do so in a manner that will appeal to anyone
.>I wasn't paid to
I addressed this point. As an amateur, you don't get to demand payment, you have to at least provide a prototype in order to appeal to 'buyers', and your existing work is so lacking that I can't even.>Not the target audience
While I'm sure you stopped reading long before (or will at least posture as though you had), pray tell: who is
your target audience?>Nested Reddit comment chain
You're right. It isn't FiMfic, nor reddit, nor deviantart, nor some blog that you have any claim over. You're an anon just like everyone else, except you want extrua-spesial treatement cuz you vomit words into a computer or mobile far longer than you should given your competence at writing. You're not entitled, and the more you try to act like you are/should-be, the more you will be shit on. Cuz its shit, and even those - self included - who wade through it are doing so to spare others from the trouble of doing so. How many who have
read chapters of yours complain of needing therapy, detox, decompression, or other maladies?
Lastly>I've done nothing to offend you
Oh, that's where you're most
wrong, AND you're first mistake. You're doing it now, and you've been doing it since you first felt entitled to "grace" the site with your filth. You fucked off for a while, and it was nice, but like a bad case of herpes (which I'm not the first to make that comparison) you keep coming back, more virulent than ever. You've inherited the wind so to speak, try not to cry too much about it.
>>3901>I'm curious, what would you prefer that my youtube channel be? Minecraft? Fortnite? Schut Games? Please keep in mind that you're talking to a "Poorfag" here, someone who can't afford the latest shit without a lot of saving and/or commission work.>I'm a poorfag, so of course I have to be a Sonic fan, diamond-miner, Undertale fan, Steven Jewniverse fan, WWE fan, YanSim fan, and follower of the cult of Mr. Enter
Show me the line we're supposed to draw here. You think that being a poorfag necessitates having shit taste in games - some of which are a waste of money might I add?>someone who can't afford the latest shit without a lot of saving and/or commission work>people pay you to write and/or draw
I guess if Virus-20 can have paying fans, anything is possible...
>>3903>not just giving him his stupid math answer
Now he's going to proclaim that you're a glimmerbot out to exterminate him for the glory of mother Russia. One step forward, two steps back.
>>3890>Anyone can become a master at something if they can spend a week pouring over 1000 hours into mastering it, after all.First of all, you are so fucking stupid you dont know that the rule is 10,000 hours to become proficient, not 1000
so way to go fucking that big detail up. Secondly this is a make believe fantasy for those who dont want to improve and ignore the second half of this. That the 10,000 hours only works when putting yourself to the grindstone, with dedication to that practicing and improving that skill, sacrificing something else. Anything else doesnt hold up to reality. And third it doesnt excuse YOUR BAD WRITING of having your OC a master of every subject you can think of.
It doesnt take very long to learn a new skill starting from scratch, provided you set some time aside for it every day or at least every week, [i]however it can still take 6-10 years to become semi-pro at whatever you seek out to do (sometimes 4 if you are obsessive about practicing and improving that specific skill) for many people depending on the skill it will take their whole life to really become a master and got an early start through childhood upbringings. Because NEWSFLASH there is always ways to improve, learning from different perspectives and teachers and peers. ONLY the ones who will become the new masters will seek out to climb to the top of the mountain with refining their craft to an edge while everyone else settles for something less impressive. Just how old is this irritating shitstain of an OC? You've made him more accomplished than Starswirl, with none of the age that would be required for even one 20th of his abilities, all so he can be a 'stud' for your waifu pillowsack. Just fuck you Nigel.
Do you know how FIM works nigger? You get one thing you excel at and that's defined by the cutiemark. What exactly is Silver's cutiemark talent that he's refining other than the art of rubbing himself out in front of every pony in the room. If you say "Magic" then congratulations, you've given the exact same vague answer as what Starlight's talent is, that lets her do what she does with magic higher than other ponies like the Princesses. And yet she doesnt have complete mastery over every subject, her hobby is pretty mundane, she isnt world famous, and her super-magic (which has a long history of backfiring on her) is still not even half the level of bullshit that Silver can do.
You've created a Starlight that has no flaws in his super magic, with no limitation, for no good reason. Nothing backfires on him and he has no reason to change morally because no one points out he's a an insufferable fuck, ever. You're trying to force the reader to love him because you're obsessed with yourself. If you are going into this fic expecting that you can hand wave everything off about Silver "80th time champion grandmaster in dildo riding" Star and everything else under the sun because muh 1000 hours then you are one of the most retarded people on the planet. This explains why you think you're a professional when you're fucking shit at writing Nigel, and you are self-inserting AGAIN into your OC.
How many hours have you spent dedicated to writing? How many of those years have you done ANYTHING besides increase your vocabulary? Your writing skills are hot garbage. Have you learned or practiced anything anything about pacing, dialog or character development? Do you have no grasp on how to write a good plot? Do you know how to build tension? Can you maintain the suspension of belief? Can you come up with unique and interesting ideas? Do you know how to do good world building, or what that even entails?
The answer to all of the above is NO. This is just long winded wish-fulfillment.>Atrocious characterization forcing in a literalwho to everyones face, as an insult to the canon characters.>All characters - background ponies or otherwise are nothing more than blank slate sock puppets with no actual personality or depth.>An easymode life for the godly unlikable main character, the most boring OC of all time who wins at everything.>He has a time dilatation spell AND can clone himself, so clearly he can be a master at everything without any sacrifices. FiM machinations be damned.>No conflict and no inciting incident because everyone is cardboard cutouts to cheer on a self insert. >Strawman villains that are nothing more than more blogpoint targets.>The pacing grinds to a halt with another episode of egotistic rambling about whatever your OC is doing or saying.>What small semblance of a plot is killed off, suffocated for more of your self insert going off on tangents nobody reading gives a fuck about.>Plagiarized ideas from animu regurgitated onto FiM and even plagiarizing FiM directly, warped and twisted to fellate yourself.>Skipping over important details leaving gaping plotholes in the work, because it's not about your OC so you cant get a stiffy while typing.
See, Nigel doesn't understand the value of his time and effort. His shadow clones are a perversion of the naive desire to have endless time and energy to do all he wishes and be the master of all trades, because he doesn't understand the true value of a division of labor and specialized talents.
Ironically, MLP itself has an entire magical system that is dedicated to individual talents and specialization, so Nigel's going out of his way to toss that aspect of the show he pretends to understand aside. Kill yourself Nigel, this is your mindset.
Good job conflating the two things that confuse you.
If I really have to say it outright, Glimmer had more stolen Cutie Marks in her town than she had ponies with stolen Cutie Marks. Her Cutie Mark storage wall was also full, so I guess it was a good thing for her that she had jars for the six extra ponies who showed up in her town, and I guess it's a good thing that even though over 100 ponies showed up to her town and either left without their marks or killed themselves after an overdose of Commie shaming tactics at some point during her life, the Mane Six were the first ponies to ever put her Cutie Mark storage wall over capacity.
As for your personalities, you feel entitled to be treated more than two times nicer than you treat me, regardless of how valid your criticism is outside of your own head. I don't take your "It's shitty poopoo and Silver likes cock in his ass" mouth confusion seriously, so you need to go on pretending that I am everything you virtue-signal about hating.
>>3909>ponies killing themselves
>>3901>I stopped reading there.
That's about what I've come to expect from you. You sure give a pretty wordy response for someone who didn't read what I wrote.>I've read you saying the same shit multiple times in this thread between posts in which I respond to actual critics quite nicely, so I guess it all balances out.
Speaking of saying the same shit over and over, this wall of text is really just your usual boilerplate response to any level of serious criticism from anyone: you complain that people are being too mean to you to deserve a response, you dismiss all criticism as ad-hominem attacks without addressing any of the points being made, and you insinuate that all your critics are just trolls who follow you around from site to site. Yawn.
In any event, I make the same points over and over because you never seem to grasp any of them, and all of them are perfectly valid points. I'm not going to bother restating them here; however, I will remind you that I am still going through your entire opus line by line in the other thread and addressing, quite specifically, everything I think is wrong with your writing. You are free to read or respond, or you can ignore me, or you can continue to be a whiny sperg; it's entirely your choice. At this point I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for myself and others on the site.
For anyone else reading this who, unlike Nigel, has an actual interest in improving their craft as a writer, I would actually recommend doing what I've been doing. If you read a particular piece and find that you absolutely hate it or absolutely love it, it is quite helpful to give it a thorough analysis, pull it apart and explore exactly what you like or don't like and why you love/hate it. It gives you an insight into your own writing and what sorts of elements you should include or exclude, and in particular what sorts of common mistakes that writers make that you can watch out for.>I'm honestly getting a bit tired of people who think "This story is shit, stop writing it! You're the worst writer ever and you're worse than/just as bad as Chris-Chan! You're gay AIDS and your OC likes penis in his ass! Downvoted lmao!" is the height of literary criticism.
Your words, not mine. In any case, I've given you ample reasons as to why your story is, quite objectively, shit and why you are, quite objectively, a bad writer. You can either choose to listen and improve, or continue to keep writing the way you do and keep getting shit on by probably anyone you show your work to. I know you think I've got some kind of vendetta against you but I really don't have a dog in this fight one way or the other; I'm doing this partly as an exercise for myself and partly because it's funny. The fact that I've actually given you some pretty good advice on how to improve your craft is just a bonus, although I know you won't see it that way.
As to the CWC comparisons, again these comparisons are made because they are objectively accurate. You behave in the same way that CWC does. Your body of work revolves around similar themes and is of comparable quality. You both rip off Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon and pretend it's original work. You both refuse to see flaws in your own work and dismiss anyone who doesn't like it as a troll. You are literally CWC with a British flag.>When I showed you a pic on how to get better at criticism, what did y'all respond with?
We appropriately made fun of you for it, because the pic just shows how completely dense and incapable of self-reflection you really are. You basically just complain that we're not being nice enough to you. We're not obligated to be nice to you, and we're not obligated to like your work.
You keep using the word "entitlement" in your responses, as if we are the people who are behaving like we're entitled to something. You are the one who actually has this attitude. You are the one who seems to feel that he is entitled to have his story read and enjoyed, and that anyone who doesn't like it can either criticize you on your terms or they can fuck off. This is bullshit. Early on in my objective analysis of your work in the other thread, I wrote a post on "Blaming the Audience" that I really do think you should read.
You are the OP of both threads that you're getting shit on in. We didn't seek out this pile of dreck you wrote, seek you out and start harassing you for it. You posted it here, twice, begging for attention and views. We gave you our opinions, you didn't like what you heard, so you started sperging out and it escalated from there.>My cock doesn't feel very sucked.
That's probably because it's chaffed raw from you continuously stroking it.>And you're trying to make me out to be some kind of horrendous monster because you really, really, really didn't enjoy the pony fanfic I wrote for fun.
There's Nigel's famous persecution complex again. I've never called you a horrendous monster, I've called you a bad writer, because you are. I've accused you of writing a bad fanfiction, because you did. I've said your OC is horrid, because he is. I've offered substantial proof of all these points, again if you'd like to try to rebut any of them I'll gladly hear you out.>I'm just some youtuber. I'm just some writer.
Only one of those statements is accurate.>You're saying bad things about my fic because you didn't personally like it, and that makes you mad, and I make you mad.
I've gone over this enough times already. You're right that I don't personally like your fic, but that's not the central issue here. The things that are objectively wrong with your fic transcend personal opinion; whatever else it is, it's poorly written. I could probably address the same issues I've already addressed without the sarcasm and gay jokes, but frankly you've given me no reason to do so. You'll get "nice" criticism when you write something that warrants it, and can approach this community with an understanding that we don't have to care.
A few more points then I'm done. Because I too can churn out thousands of words.>Your criticism isn't valid.
My criticism is perfectly valid. You just don't like it, because it isn't what you want to hear. Again, if you want to try and actually refute any of my points rather than just fling broad insults and conspiracy theories about "leftists" and people following you around from other sites, I'm all ears.>I don't believe all criticism is invalid, that's just something you've told yourself to soften the blow to your ego. I've listened to you, and that's why I don't think continuing to listen to you would help me improve as a writer.
As usual, you're projecting. My ego isn't the one getting beat to shit here, Nigel. I really don't care if you want to take my advice or not; you asked, or rather begged, /mlpol/ to read your shitty fanfiction and give you notes on it. We did, and you got pissy because it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Eventually you got so pissy that I decided to take it upon myself to give it a complete roto-rooter rectal examination and lay out exactly what's wrong with it in plain terms, no punches pulled. The project, believe it or not, has actually been fun, and as I've said at this point I really don't care if you're even reading my advice, let alone following it. Whether your writing actually improves is on you; I have no stake, these are just my thoughts. >I wasn't paid to make a product you'd like.
Of course you weren't. If I'd paid you I'd be demanding my money back; we all would. You're doing this for free, I'm doing this for free. The difference between us is, I'm enjoying myself and arguably producing something of value.>You're not a good critic. I've seen youtube commenters who are better at criticizing things.
Aw, that just hurts my feelings. *sniff*>You aren't really supposed to, because you aren't in its target audience.
Blaming the audience again. "You don't get it." "It wasn't written for you." "You clearly don't understand it." I'll say it again, Nigel: you don't pick your audience, your audience picks you. If you submit something you've created to be consumed and evaluated by someone else, that person is your audience. They don't have to like it or tell you they did. If the audience doesn't like your work, it isn't their fault for not understanding it; it's your fault for not communicating what you wanted to communicate. If you're just writing for yourself or your friends, then you don't need an audience at all and criticism doesn't matter. But if that's the case then why show it to total strangers, who have no reason not to take a giant shit on it if it's bad? Why post it here if we weren't in your target audience? You're just talking out of your ass and projecting as usual. If you don't have something worth showing to anyone, keep it to yourself. If you ask for criticism, be prepared to take it.>I'm trying to write MLPFIM as an action cartoon while also trying to preserve its core messages and themes better than nu-fim did when it decided it wanted to exclusively pander to you.
See, I get that that's what you're trying to do. What I'm trying to explain to you is that you fail to accomplish it. Ironically, as much as you shit on "nu-fim" and it's writers, you actually make a lot of the same mistakes that they do. You inject silly and improbable elements into the world to try and make it more interesting (to you, at least), you attempt to awkwardly wedge a Mary Sue original character into the main cast, you ignore the elements of the show that made it great in the beginning and focus instead on trying to warp it into your own personal Frankenstein creation. You don't write any of the characters well or even convincingly. Where the original series was envisioned to be a show about close friends going on adventures together, you attempt to exaggerate the "adventure" component to the level of epic fantasy while downplaying the "friendship" component until you just have a bunch of cardboard cutout characters who are neither interesting nor believable. Somehow, the OC character, who you put more effort into than any of the others, is the most poorly written, unsympathetic, and unbelievable of them all. In any case, nothing you've constructed resonates emotionally, and most of your "action" and "adventure" themes are too over-the-top and improbable to be taken seriously.
In the words of Lois Griffin: "This isn't art, this isn't even entertainment. This...blows.">It isn't supposed to be one of those excessively-upvoted HiE fics where the human is some bland guy you can project yourself as, or one of those short and shitty non-story scenes that exist to make normies shallowly feel cliche feels.
Lol now who's bitching about genres they don't like? In any case, what this story isn't supposed to be is beside the point; you completely fail to make it into what you claim that it is. You like action and ebin fight scenes better than feels? Fine, write about what interests you. You'd rather use an obnoxious self-insert OC than a blank-canvas projection-ready empty-template human character? Okay, you're the author; all that is up to you. That doesn't mean you have an excuse to just throw characterization and plot and narrative structure out the window and just write one long, rambling stream of autism about fights and magic.
I mean, come on. Criticism of "shitty, non-story scenes" from the guy who expended 30k+ words on a scene where two characters argue? The guy who padded a scene where his character flies from his office to the building across the street into about two pages worth of play-by-play narration? The guy who randomly dumps walls of text explaining world physics into block quotes and puts it in their characters' mouths?
You get to criticize the style preferences of others when you produce something of value yourself; until then, focus on getting your own house in order.
Well then where did the extra Cutie Marks come from? She's got over a hundred severed heads- I mean severed marks in her creepy room, in her creepy fancy customized and marked cutie mark container literally got so full she had to keep the marks of the mane six in jars...
I know suicide is horrendously dark and it doesn't fit the tone of MLP at all. But neither does a commie shame village. Ponies either ran away from her town without their marks and became hobos, ran away without their marks and got eaten by monsters, died in her town, got killed for uncovering the secret of her town, killed themselves, got turned into appliances and shit, or got so depressed and turned so grey that they turned to dust.
And if that's reaching, what's >>3908
"He forgot a zero so he doesn't get *rolls dice* time and effort and he should die" over here?
Also Silver's Cutie Mark is Connections. There are a lot of connections you can make with the concept of connections and a lot of things you can do with it(Good thing he comes from a world that doesn't know what nukes are), so it's basically the best mark possible outside of anything garish like an infinity symbol or Betterness or "Super Duper Mega Magic".>>3911
I don't see all criticism against my story as pointless. I see criticism of me as a bit pointless, since most of this site's users have just met "me" and there are people in this thread trying to misrepresent me. Nobody here knows about the regular trips I make to the local-ish charity store, or the charity shit I did in my youth, or those two guys whose lives I saved when I was younger, or that one suicidal guy I talked out of suicide(He's better now), or any of the other good stuff I've done. And I don't really like talking about myself, or defending myself from personal attacks on this level. I'd rather advertise my work instead. Besides, there's a good chance I'm actually two or three people working in tandem and everything everyone has said about me is bullshit.
Anyway, I read the critique of my work and the proper criticism is valid. If I'll improve as a writer by reading it, it's valid. I'm actually considering going back and doing that "Make Pinkie and Dash approach Silver before the party" bit someone talked about. Even though it'll make the "Silver gasps and loves the cute Pinkie, weirding everypony else out" scene less surprising. I'm also thinking of toning down Silver's abilities, he was supposed to be the "I have a lot of weakish moves and I know how to use them creatively, I'll turn around the ground under your hooves and that lamppost is now my trebuchet, I love going in with a plan and thinking on the fly when it doesn't work" to Twilight's "I have a lot of power and formal education, I love planning".
Also, "Your audience choses you"? Lolwut? Have you "chosen" me? Is that why you wish I was what you wish you chose instead of what I am? I get that you're trying to ironically quote a reversed bit from my story when Silver talked about selling shit, but dude, no. I choose my target audience when I make the fic, it's people who want to see Twilight and friends kick some ass. Individual people can choose whether they click my fic or not, sure, and they can decide for themselves if they like it or not, but individual people can't decide what my fic should be. Though they're welcome to offer advice on how it can be made better at what it's trying to be.
I get that you don't like it when writers "Clap back" to some of their critics, but... well, if you want to talk about something so shit even its creators won't argue with anything bad you say about it, shit on Fallout 3.
Seriously, that game's so bad, Bugthesderp shat on some of the dumbest parts of it just to try and please FNV fans in Fallout 4, even though that isn't how that works at all.
>>3913>extra cutie marks
It couldn't possibly be cuz they were busy doing other things, or a variety of other mundane explanations, no certainly not, it must be murder most foul right?>so it's basically the best mark possible outside anything garish
For one, there you go again trying to make Semen Star the 'best evar'. For two, you wouldn't know garish if you wrote it out in over 100k words, cuz you have and you haven't.>charity shit I did in my mouth
Sorry, that's just how I read it at first. I'm sure you'll think that's freudian or something, but I had to retrieve my sides so I'm chalking it as a win.>I helpeded people! I are gud!
We should compare notes sometime. Spoiler alert, you're outclassed.>I don't like talking about myself
Clearly>I'd rather advertize my workClearly>I'll tone down Semen Star
I hope so, I truly hope so>"Your audience choses you"? Lolwut? Have you "chosen" me? Is that why you wish I was what you wish you chose instead of what I am?
That's precisely it. You won't go away, you won't stop, so the only recourse is to try and get you to stop being such a faggot (read: learn to write compellingly so that our forced suffering isn't so insufferable). We're not here to talk about Fallout 3, and while you may intend
your audience to be "a particular group", for one I'd love to see the Mane kick (Silver's) ass and for two you're here bothering us
. Whatever you intended, you're shilling this shit to us
; naturally you're going to get our opinions. Don't like it? And the hoers you rode in on.
>>3913>cutie mark container literally got so full she had to keep the marks of the mane six in jars…
Evidently you never actually watched the episode, they were placed in the giant iphone at first, she only had them removed and put in jars later.
Just gonna add on to this, Nigel is only correct in that there are more cutie marks stored than ponies we see in the town, at least from a cursory glance at the episodes, that's if we assume the entire town takes part in the musical number. Pictured here is the cutie vault with 8 columns and 14 rows giving us a total of 112 slots for cutie marks, there are 13 unused slots, giving us 99 cutie marks before Twiggles and friends get themselves Spear of Longinus'd. Unfortunately, I'm nowhere near autistic enough to go through both episodes to figure out exactly how many ponies we see in the town.
Haha! That was only one leaf-anon commenting on your impoliteness and wanting to have a civil and polite discussion with you about your work in return for how he was treating you.
Wanting others to treat you how you're treating them doesn't sound as asinine as you somehow manage to make it sound.
The only one spewing retarded mouth confusion here is (you).
I myself don't give a fuck how you treat me, I don't care either way because it changes nothing, and next time, consider taking your criticism to the right person.
Do you actually have children? Because I don't think you even have a wife.
>>3913>I'm actually considering going back and doing that "Make Pinkie and Dash approach Silver before the party" bit someone talked about. Even though it'll make the "Silver gasps and loves the cute Pinkie, weirding everypony else out" scene less surprising.
Definitely a good idea. Part of the reason it helps to have other people read your work is because they can provide insight that wouldn't occur to you. When you are the author of something, the story is already in your head and when you go back and read it, you automatically envision it the way you want to see it. Your mind fills in a lot of the blanks, and things that come across as weird or awkward to a reader don't always register in your mind as such. Remember, writing is the process of taking what's in your head and laying it out so that others can see it the way you do. If other people are consistently giving you impressions of something you wrote that are way off base from what you intended, it's a good indicator that it can use a rewrite, or at least some tweaking.>I'm also thinking of toning down Silver's abilities
Also a good idea. As I read further into this I'm beginning to get an idea of what you're trying to do with Silver, but what I'm trying to explain is that it's just not working out quite the way you'd like it to. There are steps you can take to fix this.
One thing that it might behoove you to remember is that most action protagonists of the sort you're trying to write here don't start out with all their powers. I remember years ago I was watching Inuyasha at one of the later points in the series, where he had a bunch of crazy powers attached to his sword, and my stepbrother who had never seen the show was watching with me, and commenting on how stupid it was that he was so powerful. I had to explain that this was about a hundred episodes or so in and he had spent most of the series going through trials to acquire these powers.
His reaction is similar to the way I and most others on this site are reacting to Silver, because a character who starts off with a huge number of powers and can easily defeat most foes isn't interesting to read about, and can come across as obnoxious, especially when you also write him as being excessively arrogant. In the case of Inuyasha (I don't know if you've ever seen it but I don't watch a lot of the type of anime you usually reference; I'm afraid IY is the closest thing I've watched extensively) he starts out as a character with above-average strength and fighting ability, but still relatively weak compared to where he ends up later on. He gains most of his abilities over the course of the series. This is generally the preferred way to do these things.
My personal recommendation for Silver would be to reduce his powers down to a reasonable, mortal level. It's okay to have him be above average, even extremely talented, in maybe one or two areas. But you have to leave him room to grow and improve himself; otherwise what's the point of the story? If I were writing it I would give him a sense of strong business acumen, but make him less excessively rich. Make him an up and comer in the business world who hasn't quite made it yet. I'd make him maybe a magic prodigy in the same way that Twilight was at the beginning of the series, but not a hugely accomplished magician. Maybe give him one or two tricks that he's really good at and uses often to show off (the portal trick could actually be kind of a fun one), but dial it back to where he's got a lot to learn yet. I'd still recommend eighty-sixing the clone ability, but if you want to keep it at least don't have him start off with it, make him earn it.
His being the author of 200+ books is beyond excessive, maybe make him a prodigy with an interesting backstory who wrote maybe one somewhat successful book. He took the profits from the book and invested them into opening a magic shop or something. The magic shop was successful so he turned that into a chain. He's successful while still being believable, which humanizes (poninizes?) him and makes him more accessible to the reader. This buys you credits you can use to make him more of a dick in other ways if that's what you want. Maybe his poor upbringing made him ambitious to the point where he's not above grifting and stealing to get what he wants, so he's basically a legit businesspony who moonlights as a small-time hustler, and has an interest in magic and culture as well; sort of an anti-hero version of a renaissance pony.
See what I did? I really didn't change his character all that much from the way you made him, I just dialed him back to a level where he becomes believable and sympathetic. Usually the best protagonist for this type of action story is an individual who is flawed but not irredeemable, and stronger than the average resident of the world but still at a training stage that gives him room to improve.
This could actually help make his relationship with Twilight easier to develop as well. Imagine this scenario: Silver is not really famous, but autistic book horse knows his (ideally good but somewhat obscure) book, so she recognizes his name when he comes to Ponyville and tries to strike up a friendship. As she gets to know him, his arrogance and obnoxiousness turns her off, but he occasionally shows her a more human (pony) side that makes her want to keep getting to know him. He tries hard, usually too hard, and shoots himself in the foot a lot. She eventually finds out about his criminal side, which creates a moral crisis for her and forces him to examine himself, and ultimately make a choice between either friendship and redemption, or pursuing a lonely but probably lucrative path through life.
See how you set stuff like this up? I really didn't need to change that much of Silver's character to make this work, I just fleshed him out a little, toned down his powers and made him more human (ponyish). Now you try it.
>>3913>>3918>I choose my target audience when I make the fic, it's people who want to see Twilight and friends kick some ass.
Another something for you to consider: this may be who you intended to write for, but did you actually write something that such people would want to read? Give that question some serious thought; I'm not trying to insult you or ridicule you right now. Is "Twilight and friends kicking some ass" really what happens in your text so far?
Unless I'm way off base, what you're basically trying to write here is an action story. The format you're writing it in is also closer to a serialized format like a manga, rather than a more contained format like a novel. In some ways this gives you more freedom. You can basically keep writing for as long as you want to, chronicling the adventures of your character in bite-sized chunks without being constrained to the length of a single self-contained volume. However, I would still invite you to take a closer look at some of the long-running action manga series of the sort you seem to want to emulate. They usually move in arcs, which function like small, separate stories that play themselves out over the course of multiple chapters/volumes. The serialized format doesn't alter story structure; there's still a beginning to the arc, rising action, a climax of some sort, falling action, and a resolution that returns things to a starting point, but usually with the characters having grown or learned something. Then there's usually a couple of one shot humorous stories that last for a single (episode, chapter, what have you) before another arc begins, and the characters have another opportunity to grow and/or gain something (power, knowledge, whatever). This is the formula you should aim to follow.
Imagine that Pinkie Pie is blowing up a balloon. She's going to blow it up until it pops. You sit there, watching as she steadily blows air into the balloon. It keeps getting bigger and bigger. You know it's going to pop, but you don't know when. Every time you think the balloon is full to bursting, she manages to put a little more air in it. You can't fucking take it anymore. Finally, just when the anticipation has reached the point where you think you might actually die, there is a loud "pop", and the balloon explodes all over the place. Maybe it was full of confetti and confetti is everywhere now, because that sounds like something she would do. In any event, now that it's popped, you can relax for a few minutes. But then, she gets out another balloon, and the whole vicious cycle begins anew. That's how a story like this is supposed to work.
Now imagine another the same scene, but instead of blowing steadily until it breaks, Pinkie blows a little air into the balloon, and then lets most or all of it out. She blows into it again, then deflates it. Over and over. Sometimes there's more air, sometimes there's less, but the balloon never even comes close to a stage where you'd imagine it would pop. It will probably never pop, she just keeps blowing it up and letting the air out. It's not exciting to watch, it's just tedious. This is how your story currently works.
Every time some interesting shit happens in your story, you're putting air into the balloon. Every time you go off on a tangent about some random subject or start dumping unsolicited world info or backstory on Silver into quotes, you're letting it out. Not only does the balloon never pop, there's no indication that it ever will. Even if you manage to pop the balloon eventually, by the time that happens the audience will have lost interest, if they're even still around. I mean, you're how many thousands of words into it at this point, and what has actually happened so far? Seriously, take a moment and catalog all the events that actually occur and see how sparse it looks on a timeline.
Another thing to note about long-running serials is that there is usually a central plot arc, that runs like a single thread connecting all the smaller arcs together. It usually is anchored in some kind of quest or objective that the protagonist sets out to achieve. The smaller arcs are self-contained episodes that happen along the way. For instance, with Dragonball Z, the story is mostly a bunch of self-contained sagas that pertain to certain fights or certain characters. The overall arc is that Goku or whoever is trying to find the fucking dragonballs or whatever. Inuyasha's central arc is that he's trying to defeat Naraku; along the way he fights battles against demons and beefs up his sword powers. Naruto's central arc is...slathering potato salad on his dick and having his dog lick it off I guess; I've only ever seen one episode of that show and that was plenty. I honestly have no idea what it's about. But you get the point.
The main arc is the glue that holds everything together and gives the MC his purpose. The smaller arcs are where most of the entertainment value lies and where most character development occurs. The serial format give you a little more freedom to explore different ideas and pursue one-shot stories and side quests, but you need to at least follow the formula somewhat, you can't just ramble autistically about whatever whenever. Above all, action stories revolve around action; shit needs to be continuously happening in order to keep people engaged.
In the case of your story, the central arc is probably Silver's quest for personal redemption and fulfillment, which will probably culminate eventually with him forming genuine friendships with the M6, possibly boning Twilight, and maybe realizing that crime doesn't pay. Along the way, you can send him on all sorts of zany adventures that can be whatever you want. But you need to stay on topic, keep the action flowing, chop out needlessly verbose dialog (hint hint 30k word long argument scene), and make sure you know when and how you are going to make the balloon pop, and how to build up the appropriate tension.
Anyone else find it funny how when I critiqued a certain someone's ability to critique, that someone immediately threw out ALL of the stereotypical "Writer who cannot take criticism" damage control soundbytes, including stuff he hadn't even gotten around to accusing me of saying?
Also I already said let's not get into a "I'm a better person than you!" contest. This is the internet, we could both be bullshitting each other.>>3915
In the version of the episode I saw, the big cupboard thing was full. Glimmer stored the Mane Six's marks in jars specifically for... I forget why.>>3916>that guy I hate is only correct in the sense that he's correct.
I kind of just guessed around thirtyish ponies were in that town. It's possible that she had some kind of underground gulag for the "worst" thoughtcriminals and everypony in her town had just forgotten to say "Btw twilight plz help me break these trapped pones out", and that's where hopefully all of the mystery 70-80ish ponies went.>>3917
I diagnose you with gay, you whiny pseudointellectual redditor. Fuck off over to some adult political discussion so you can try and impress the adults present with your ability to (mis)use big boy words and terms while talking about "Muh cycles" and how "we have to prepare for the badness cycle guys! I'm smart for saying that! plz gib upvoats". Or fuck off back to the reddit/discord circlejerk that gave you this titanic ego. Either one works, but you honestly don't belong here.
You aren't intelligent. You aren't redpilled. You don't engage people in intellectual discussions. You don't care about western civilization or its future. You're just here to try and gain "Notoriety" so you can pretend your tiny scrap of internet fame means something. You're here because it's where the people went when they left you and the communities you and your friends ruined to seek greener and less circlejerky pastures.
You aren't here to have a good time. You're here to stop others from having a good time without you because you're secretly bitter about how lonely and irrelevant your "Ebin internet troll" lifestyle has left you.
You cry a lot when people don't treat you how you feel entitled to be treated, but you are a cuck.
And a fraud.
You are a cuck, and we have nothing to offer each other but scorn because I can't cure you of what you've got. I'm sorry for whatever parental neglect/abuse in your past caused you to act out in this way for attention, you didn't deserve to be raised like that but if you turned out like this, they deserved you. I'm sorry that you're addicted to the feeling of thinking you're being persecuted for loving glimmyglam, and your own sad idea of fun, but if I can't cure you, that means you will gain nothing from continuing to talk to me. So please, stop embarassing yourself, and stop trying to force your own views on what I "Must be" onto others. Don't make me tell the people here about that time you exposed yourself on a subreddit for old people while trying to convince the people there I'm what you think I am.
I like this, and I like you.
Naruto's arc was "Become awesome and prove I'm awesome to everyone who doubts, resents, and/or despises me" when the series was good, but it got swallowed up by the Uchiha like everything else in that category-gayht storm the story became. People talk about the last arc having too much DBZ bullshit but it all started when Itachi showed up and had "I can look at you and kill u instantly with mega black fire!" ability and a "I can point at you and make eye contact using my finger!" ability. Also the susanoo gundams were stupid, they should have been people-sized armour suits at best.
My autistic tendencies compel me to say the proper way to ponify "humanizes" would probably be "equinizes", but we'd need to check with an expert to be sure.
And you're right about Silver. I'll go back, edit some chapters, and nerf some stuff. And I'll remove some upcoming stuff, too.
I'm going to trim the fat from his backstory and keep the essential parts here, tell me what you think.
His backstory so far is: He was a smart, tough, lonely farm boy named Star Apple, and the only Unicorn for miles around. He lived on a western movie-themed Frontier Town named Manetanner if I don't think of anything better by the time that comes up in-story, and he was a fat kid who studied hard instead of making friends. His mom was a florist who married into the Apple Family after she met his dad at a gardening convention, and they moved to the frontier because they were bored in Manehattan and adventure sounded fun. He grew up on the farm and using magic to alter the fruits was banned, and so was using tech to make fruit-picking more efficient. They were old-fashioned ponies and he resented them for being that in the usual dumb kid way. Also, he taught himself magic from books he picked up in other towns while experimenting a lot, making random inventor crap, learning whatever he can, often by doing magic stuff wrong and learning why it went wrong, and so on. Then cattle rustlers went for his farm, so he picked them off one by one during a cattle theft using the crappy spells he knew and the inventor devices he made, and he became the town's deputy.
He got older and became a preteen, and decided to travel Equestria as Silver Blaze, young and magic bounty hunter, using his handful of magic spells and gizmos in creative ways to get around Stand-esque gimmicks used by many great outlaws he took down.
There was originally also going to be a bit here where he sent out a bunch of Silver Spares and many of them formed their own lives, the best ones going on to join his Leverage-esque crew on secret heists in his later years. One of those spares would go to Pony Asia and learn kung fu+The Spin from Jojo's while also "Fixing" the anger issues he used to have. And he still has them, they're just not as bad as they used to be. But I'm not sure about that now. On one hand, if he has a Leverage team, it means he has friends, so befriending the mane six is less special for him. So if they're all copies of himself, it still works.
Anyway, years later, he got old enough to go to college, and he reinvented himself as Silver Star, a suit-wearing british-voiced mysterious pony so he wouldn't have to deal with the "I can't allow some commoner to be my friend!" garbage he expected to encounter. He encountered less of that than he expected(possibly? unsure). Picking an obviously western-themed name was a small act of rebellion against the obnoxiously fake pseudointellectual rich-idiot ponies in the town, but he made friends at the school he went to. Though they ended up hating him after he fucked up in a big way and (spoiler) but he's still pouring money into finding a way to fix that.
He wasn't magically powerful enough to enter Celestia's School, but he was smart enough to get into the next best thing, Duel Academy. There, he learned combat magic, strategy, magical duelling, and he gained a formal education in the higher-level magic stuff while also taking secret remedial courses for the lower-level stuff he skipped or learned wrong. For example, he thought unicorns HAD to DBZ yell his whole life when casting hard spells.
The secret test to get in… It's the Kobayashi Maru. Silver got through it by being smart enough to spot a big hole in it I saw when I saw the Star Trek movie years ago. (I watched the actual Star Trek shows later and liked the original more)
He was sworn to secrecy about how he got in, so to maintain that secrecy he hypes the secret up like it was some kind of "Ultimate chosen one, equal of sage, great heaven" deal, implying that's what it was, when it was really just something anyone could figure out.
When he graduated, he did business shit, and that's where I began the story because I was originally planning on doing a "Every chapter starts and ends with a flashback scene to the guy's childhood, like how Oliver Queen from Arrow had flashbacks to his time on the island" thing I ended up dropping.
So, what do you think so far?
There are no other versions of the episode, Dear Leader Glimmer specifically orders Double Diamond to get their marks from the vault in part 2, in part 1 in makes a great big show of the marks going into the vault complete with loud sound effects as they're sealed behind the glass. You are correct in one aspect, you are wrong in another. That's if we ignore for a moment that some of the cutie marks present in the vault have duplicates and others even belong to ponies who at the time of the episode are living in Ponyville.
It finally clicked in my head. I didn't get this in the begining of these threads. I was wondering why Nigel believe us to be Glimmerlovers and communists and I finally saw it from his perspective.
He posted this fic here since he knew with this specific chapter since he thought he had made something we would appricate. A story in which communist were beaten in debate. But since he didn't get a good reception he wondered why that was. I think he had seen Glimmerposting earlier on this site so he came to the conclusion that some communist, which favorite horse is Glimmer, saw his post here. And since this person is a communist, he decided to call up some friends to shill and raid his post.
That is why he has been, I don't know if he still is, convinced that you all are Glimmerniggers.
>I like this, and I like you.
i know it wasn't directed towards me. You're tearing me apart Nigel. But I have said it before, I like a lot of your points on fim then I don't know you personally so I might not like you per se. I watch this thread and have my opions of what people write to eachother but this is the internet and I am not someone's mom so I am not going to lecture people on what they should and should not do.
A I right about it being you behind the posts about how Fluttershy became a manipulative bitch who made Discord emotionally dependent on her, Applejack became a stupid hick who gets angery at any other fruit than apples and that Twilight was turned into a ruby rose character? I have no idea of who ruby rose I btw But I do agree with those first points and with a lot of your other points.
However, I garantee that none of us are communists and I don't like your story.
I haven't read it because I usually just scan through a fanfic before I give it a shot. I was meet with a wall of text and I just felt so unmotivated to continue so I read what Glimglam posted about it instead. I figured that since you didn't point out in flaws in his description of your story, he wasn't misrepresenting you.
I know there was no other version, I was making a joke but I forgot what it was.
I hope the whole "Glimmer killed ponies" thing isn't what canonically happened to make Glimmer's bullshit power level happen.
But if she didn't kill anypony there, she definitely killed ponies in the alternate timelines she created by going back in time to ruin Twilight's life.>>3923
I don't think you're ALL them, just the ones that are them. Just that handful of dumb guys that are trying to insist I'm a bad guy, because they want to dupe people into thinking I'm a bad guy. It usually works for them on other, less smart sites, where "Muh group consensus" is god.
Also yeah, there are many ways to write a redemption story but "The supposed-to-be-nice hero uses friendship to make the bad guy emotionally dependent on her approval, keeping his balls in her purse instead of doing any heartwarming shit or whatever" really just doesn't sit right in a setting like FIM. The ponies are supposed to be cute, innocent, optimistic things in a dangerous world they tamed so hard they literally control the skies. Snooty places like Canterlot and Modernish places like Pony New York are supposed to be exceptions to the rule, not Ponyville.
Applejack... She was a really nice pony. She might not have topped any "Most popular" polls, but she was a good and respectable pony, and she deserved better than what the nu-writers did to her, turning her into the memey hick they see all southerners as.
As for Twilight=Ruby, I don't remember saying that but that's a good way to put it. After they "Fixed" Twilight's "Biggest" character flaw, she felt like a generic "Vanilla Protagonist" too often. Instead of seeing Twilight trying to make it as a princess and prove to Celestia that she can do this, we see a generic princess protagonist read lines on the script given to her by writers who'd never met her.
I think it's because they focused so much on the "Her being an Alicorn totally wasn't a dumb thing! Look, she's older now, so it fits!" stuff.
Ruby Rose worked when she was a socially-awkward weapon-loving dork two years younger than everyone else. When she got older and just became a generic "We can do it! Yay hope! I keep smiling because light!" protagonist it felt shallow. It felt like a downgrade. The writers didn't earn those "Smiling despite what she went through" points. The writers didn't earn anything. They just tease stuff for a while and then show it. It's like Steven Universe only not as bad.
>>3924>But if she didn't kill anypony there, she definitely killed ponies in the alternate timelines she created by going back in time to ruin Twilight's life.
That's debatable, even in the crystal war timeline the fighting amounts to slap fights and ponies have cartoon level resilience, so dropping boulders on Rainbow wouldn't have been lethal considering she's crashed at high speeds and walked it off prior. FiM isn't made for adults, there isn't anything in its universe or mandate that's lethal since producers in the modern day don't think kids can handle anything too dark, even the villains are exempt from outright death. Sombra exploded, sure, but he was shown to be able to regenerate his form from a single part, even the Storm King wasn't really dead thanks to the post credits scenes.
What I'm trying to say is, you've based a large portion of your judgement of Glimmer on headcanon derived from the staff's lack of maintaining consistency episode to episode (and occasionally even scene to scene if you pay attention to the wildly changing geography) and misremembered details in episodes. Since you've stated that your aim is to fix what the staff borked, one would think you'd pay a greater amount of attention to the details of what you're attempting to fix.
As an aside, fixing Glimmer isn't about her suffering retribution for what she's done, she's already been pardoned by Twaggle Sprinkles, so the better method would have been to send her back to Our Town to make amends and to remain there until she's learned and truly understood why what she did was wrong. A good scenario would be to have a Nishruu attack the town because of GlimGlam's excessive ShimSham, nullifying her ability to just magic the problem away and forcing her to utilise her leadership skills to make use of the talents and unique abilities of the town's residents to drive it off, realising in the process that utterly leveling the playing field like a dirty commie
doesn't solve problems. And yes, a Nishruu would absolutely work, Hasbro owns Dungeons and Dragons so there's nothing stopping anyone from just ripping shit out of the monster manuals.
I'm not sure anyone ever has called you a bad guy, just a bad writer with a bad OC.
>>3924>I don't think you're them, I just think that everyone I say is them
Am I the only person who sees the numerous fallacies in this position?
I think this is a measurable improvement. The backstory here is much better and comes across as less silly. I would definitely keep his magic abilities limited, especially early on. The more you can have him rely on ingenuity and creativity and less on high-level kamehameha type stuff the better off you'll be at establishing a good foundation on which the audience can build their opinions of him. At least in the beginning, like I said if you want to have him learn more high-powered spells and techniques later in the story that's up to you, but definitely in the beginning he should be physically and magically weak but intelligent and resourceful to make up for it. The progression through adolescence where he tries to make a living as a bounty hunter also has some potential, again just try to resist the urge to make him too amazing at it. The idea with fleshing out his backstory is not so much to provide a chronicle of neat stuff he's done, as much as to lay out the events that shaped his character, both the positive and negative aspects.
His childhood on a farm, for instance, would teach him the value of hard work and the value of money, but would also likely be the origin point of his greed and obsession with elevating his social status. His parents stifling his creativity would give him a chip on his shoulder which could make him moody and angsty, but also increase his hunger to escape mediocrity and pursue greatness. Having his family farm pillaged by cattle rustlers would teach him about loss (inb4 loss.png) and how anyone's achievements can be torn down in an instant. Personally, I would nix the bit about him going after the cattle rustlers and becoming the town Deputy; rather, I would have him go after the rustlers but fail miserably. He uses everything in his arsenal but it's not enough, either they get away and he's left hungry or they beat him to a pulp. Either way he survives and learns a lesson: that life is cruel, and he needs to become stronger. Think Batman Begins: when Bruce Wayne first tried to pick a fight with criminals, did he win? No, he got his ass kicked, but getting his ass kicked was an important development point for who he later became. He realized that grit and determination and righteousness isn't enough, you need an edge; you need strength, and you need to be ruthless to some extent. A fight isn't about who is morally right, a fight is about who can win. All of his experiences teach him good things and bad things, and both shape his character.
Going off to college, affecting a fake accent and trying to pass himself off as a blueblood while rigorously studying is exactly the sort of thing a character with this kind of backstory would do, so good job there. You're definitely on the right track, again just try not to have him gain quite so much power. You want him to emerge from dueling school as capable, probably on-par or superior to most of the top students, but not so overpowered it's implausible. You may want to consider giving him a rival here, possibly someone who actually is the type of blueblood Silver tries to pass himself off as. I'd make the rival as powerful or more powerful than him, whether or not Silver eventually defeats him or the conflict is left unresolved for possible future reuse is up to you; it's a stylistic choice and either could work.
I'd like to try to steer you away from the Kobayashi Maru business if I could, just because it's instantly recognizable as being from Star Trek and it's really not necessary to Silver's development. When I first came across it in your text my eyes pretty much rolled themselves. If you insist on keeping it in, since it's such a recognizable reference you want to make sure you write it in a way that makes it clear you are referencing Star Trek rather than trying to rip it off, which is a somewhat hard thing to do. I can generally do it but I don't know how to explain how to do it. In general I'd recommend you avoid referencing things outside the universe you're working in.
Having him working in business after college is a fine place to start, again just try to make his level of success plausible for the point he's at. There are a lot of practical considerations to business that have nothing to do with grit or moxy or the character's will. You need startup capital, a product, a way to manufacture and market your product, etc etc, and time for the business to take root and grow. It's unlikely a recent college grad from a humble background would own his own skyscraper, for instance, no matter how smart and talented he is. Maybe make him a small-time entrepreneur, or even an employee of someone initially. Maybe even have his initial adversary be his boss; he works for a shady company run by a shady pony, and he figures out some clever way to force him out and take over his company. There's a good first arc right there.
A couple more things.
I'd like to stress that how you go about revealing the character's backstory is as important, maybe even more important, than the content of the backstory itself. Probably the worst thing you can possibly do is have the character explain his entire backstory as dialog, and especially not at the very beginning of the story. If you give the whole thing away at once, then the reader knows everything about this character and there's no more mystery to him. Although in some stories the character's backstory is given away all at once, it's usually done quite a ways in, after a great deal of mystery has been built up around the character. In the case of Silver "sorry but I can't resist doing this joke one more time, butt sex lmao" Star, you're going to want to give it away in small pieces, and only in places where it's appropriate. When possible, try not to have Silver himself explain who he is, try to show
who Silver is and where he came from. You can do this through flashbacks, memories, inner monologues, whatever; just for the love of God please don't have Silver just start lecturing ponies about work ethics and bragging about how he used to beat up cattle rustlers while he's in the middle of a fight scene. Or a date.
I've actually got a YT video you may find helpful. It's a recording of a lecture on how to read and interpret fiction from the perspective of a writer rather than just consuming it as entertainment. The lecturer is William S. Burroughs, who I'll warn you was a beat writer and fairly degenerate in many ways (he was a literal fag and a drug addict, among other things). His actual writing I can generally take or leave. However, his analyses of literature are very interesting to listen to and I personally have picked up a lot of interesting ways of thinking from him. In particular, pay attention to the part where he's talking about the character of Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby, and how he is fleshed out. It basically goes over ways of thinking about a character as a whole person (pony), but only writing the parts you need the reader to see. If you do it right, the reader will get the sense of the whole character just from the breadcrumbs you give him, and be more satisfied for having pieced it together himself. You definitely don't want to just dump all the information in his lap at once.
Anyway, here is the video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dymsKE_N3A
Another thing I've mentioned before that I'd like to stress again is your characterization needs work. This is just the art of understanding who your characters are and determining how they will think, speak and behave in a given situation. It's hard to learn initially, but once you do learn it comes very easily and you can do it without thinking. For an OC like Silver, what you're doing currently is a good start. You want to get everything you can about him fleshed out: who he is, where he's from, where's going. What are his abilities and shortcomings, what is his personality like, what does he like to eat, is he a top or a bottom (sorry that's the last gay joke I'll make about him I swear), etc etc. Write it all down, but don't put it all in the story, just use it as reference. When you're writing, try to imagine yourself as the character. You need to write his dialog in his voice, not yours, that is crucial to making your character believable. You need to think about his actions and how he reacts to situations from his perspective, not from the omniscient perspective of the author. For instance, your scene where Silver starts petting Pinkie Pie. Is that something Silver would do, or is that something that you, the author, would like to see Silver do? There's a difference between these two modes of thought, and you have to learn how to split them apart, even if the end result is the same.
For the other characters, the preexisting pony characters, their personalities and backstories are already established, so it's a matter of just doing the same thing as with your own characters: learn to think like them. I've suggested before, and would still suggest, writing some short exercise type stories about small interactions between different characters in the MLP universe. These are not necessarily to be published, just to experiment with the characters and see how they act. Writing greentext from a prompt is also a good way to learn this. Focusing on simple scenarios where there is minimal action going on forces you to focus on the characters and how they think, speak and behave. Once you've got that figured out, you'll find your characters behave much more naturally when you put them in your actual world and have them react to your action sequences. You'll be able to integrate your OCs into the canon universe much less awkwardly as well.
Oh my-oh my, what do we have here?
It's hilarious because on one hand you're pointing out my 'notoriety,' as if it's a flaw, (it is), but you seem intent on giving me the notoriety you criticize.>Don't make me tell the people here about that time you exposed yourself on a subreddit for old people while trying to convince the people there I'm what you think I am.
THIS, is what I'm referencing by the way, because you seem intent on 'threatening' me with something; when I quite blatantly told you to 'do it faggot,' even though I'm not the person you're threatening and you're just giving said retard 'notoriety'
when you think said person is me
but you criticize my notoriety
I'll ask again, do you have a wife?
Oh yes, I knew there was something else I forgot to mention. The clones.
Again, I would personally like to try and steer you away from them as I think they make your story overly complicated without really adding much. Every time there's an extra Silver, the reader has one more iteration of the same character to keep track of and it gets difficult to keep track of where the real Silver is. They also seem to be a bit of a crutch you rely on to give Silver unearned powers or to explain away improbable events, and in any event I have to insist that you please stop using them that way.
One idea I might suggest is maybe having one clone exist, and rather than have him be a servant or assistant to the real Silver, make him be an evil twin or something. Like let's say that at some point, probably in college or maybe earlier, Silver attempted a high level spell that was beyond his abilities, or maybe tried to modify a less complicated spell as he does in the original story if I remember correctly. I seem to recall that he modified a basic cloning spell so that the clones were able to think and act independently, and retain knowledge, and whatever else they can do.
I would probably have him attempt the same thing, but instead of succeeding, fuck it up. He accidentally creates a perfect clone of himself, but while the real Silver works to overcome his flaws, his clone is just a complete soulless dick. He has his own life and goes on his own wacky adventures, but from time to time injects himself into the real Silver's life, attempting to impersonate him for various reasons, probably in situations like dates with Twilight or other instances where he is getting close to gaining someone's trust but his evil clone conveniently fucks it up for him. It's an old trope that you can still get a surprising amount of mileage from if you do it right.
trying so hard
btw I got those games from humble bundle. Cheap games AND I get to support charity!
Also if you want to pretend I "Hate you for being notorious", turn your PC off so you can keep on pretending I'm saying what you wish I was saying.
You're a loudmouthed crybaby, desperate for attention and "Notoriousness". It's sad and pathetic.>>3931
Sounds good, what else?
I was thinking of reducing his "Arsenal" down to "I have a handful of spells, devices, and enchanted stuff on me at any given time".
KEK, tell us more about Vril, and loudmouthed crybabies, please
>>3920>"I diagnose you with gay, you whiny pseudointellectual redditor. Fuck off over to some adult political discussion so you can try and impress the adults present with your ability to (mis)use big boy words and terms while talking about "Muh cycles" and how "we have to prepare for the badness cycle guys! I'm smart for saying that! plz gib upvoats". Or fuck off back to the reddit/discord circlejerk that gave you this titanic ego. Either one works, but you honestly don't belong here.[/b]
You aren't intelligent. You aren't redpilled. You don't engage people in intellectual discussions. You don't care about western civilization or its future. You're just here to try and gain "Notoriety" so you can pretend your tiny scrap of internet fame means something. You're here because it's where the people went when they left you and the communities you and your friends ruined to seek greener and less circlejerky pastures.
You aren't here to have a good time. You're here to stop others from having a good time without you because you're secretly bitter about how lonely and irrelevant your "Ebin internet troll" lifestyle has left you.
You cry a lot when people don't treat you how you feel entitled to be treated, but you are a cuck.
And a fraud.
[b]You are a cuck, and we have nothing to offer each other but scorn because I can't cure you of what you've got. I'm sorry for whatever parental neglect/abuse in your past caused you to act out in this way for attention, you didn't deserve to be raised like that but if you turned out like this, they deserved you. I'm sorry that you're addicted to the feeling of thinking you're being persecuted for loving glimmyglam, and your own sad idea of fun, but if I can't cure you, that means you will gain nothing from continuing to talk to me. So please, stop embarassing yourself, and stop trying to force your own views on what I "Must be" onto others. Don't make me tell the people here about that time you exposed yourself on a subreddit for old people while trying to convince the people there I'm what you think I am."
Never before have you described yourself in one post better, Nigel. This post is proof that you are merely low functioning, since you cant tell who is what. But good attempt. I doubt it will grant you long term betterment though.
Who are you on Fimfic, I want to know who he blocked >>3548>>3932
You don't know anything about me, leddit will always hold a special place in my heart because like most stupid places From the internet it's filled wIth Many people who will give validation and positive praise in the overwhelmingly positive if it has any slight amount of redeeming qualities or 50/100 if its shit.
The internet is just one of those places,
filled with tonnes of unearned, unhealthy and stunted validation.
So why do you care if I share my theories on leddit? Everyone who cares enough to engage gets value out of its discussion or likes it.
So hows my flag going?
I hope it isn't getting too muddy.
How else can I put this...
The problem isn't that you USE reddit, it's that you ARE reddit.
You are everything wrong with Reddit. You display the absolute worst of reddit-like behaviour, and the worst behaviours and attitudes that it encourages. You aren't here to contribute to the site, you're here to get metaphorical upvotes on this site. You aren't here to contribute, you're here to seem like you are a contributor, and to make sure everyone knows it's you when you talk out your ass about cycles and inevitabilities and other bullshit, you have an avatar by another name. Did reddit infect you through exposure, or were you always like this? It doesn't matter. You want to turn this thread into one of your liberal reddit circlejerk "Everyone, quick! Downvote this guy no matter what he says and where he goes!" sessions. You want to feel strong, and you want to reassure yourself that at least you aren't me. Of course, you not being me is only a reassuring thing for you if you can convince yourself that being me is not only bad, but the worst thing any human being could ever be.
These downvote threads might be fun for you, but they don't contribute anything to this site. They don't provide better OC for its users. They don't help western civilization. They drive writers away by convincing them that all fanfic writers are like this loudmouthed vocal minority of unpleasable bullies. They don't belong here, on a site that should be the perfect synthesis of everything good about /mlp/ and /pol/.
Just as the shills of 4chan's /pol/ don't belong here, the ledditor circlejerkers of 4chan's /mlp/ do not belong here. And if one does, so does the other, for whatever reason there is to allow one to corrupt the place.
I originally wanted to advertise my fic here, with one thread about it. I made a second thread about >tfw making this fic. But now, I can improve my writing skills here, with the aid of the civil and intelligent people here. And you don't want that, because you don't want people to be good, or to get better. You want to destroy, like a liberal. You want people to suck, so you can pretend they suck more than you.
If you want to find people who actually do suck more than you, there's only one place you can find them. Do something good for western civilization and try to uncover the identities of Antifa members, supporters, sympathizers, conspirators, and funders. You don't have to be like this forever. You can turn your life around and turn your desperate search for much-needed self-validation into something constructive. Trust me, your self-esteem issues hurt you a lot less when you've got some actual accomplishments to your name.
Shhhh! This is hilarious! You're gonna spoil it>>3937>pic related
>>3932>I was thinking of reducing his "Arsenal" down to "I have a handful of spells, devices, and enchanted stuff on me at any given time".
Again this is definitely a good idea and it's good to see you're willing to start moving your character in this direction.
For Silver's powers and arsenal the main thing is to just dial it back to where he's at a reasonable power level for a character at the beginning of a story. What specifically he can do is up to you, but the main thing to think about is that his powers are appropriate for a low-level character. If you think of it like a video game, most of the time you start out with a character who can't do very much initially. The character usually starts off with some skills in a particular area or a weapon he can use well, and maybe a single special attack or special move. Anything else he learns along the way as a result of gaining experience or fighting bosses. If a character is powerful enough to defeat the final boss at the beginning of the game there's no reason to play the game. If you want him to be both a fighter and a magic user, try to balance his abilities evenly between the two and don't make him too powerful in either area. A friend of mine is writing a fantasy story that relies heavily on fighting rules, and he solved these technical problems by devising his own level system and simple RPG-like battle mechanics. That way he's got a logical, consistent system that helps him determine where each of his characters is at skill-wise, who they could reasonably beat, and who they would be outmatched against. You seem to enjoy inventing spells and battle mechanics so this might be an avenue for you to explore. But map the details out on the side and use them as reference, don't dump them into your text.
Particularly since it looks like you want this story to be a long, continuing saga, you will especially want to think about what kinds of abilities you want your character to attain along the way and how to space them out so he gains them at appropriate times. You don't have to have the whole thing completely mapped out, but it's probably a good rule of thumb that he shouldn't gain more than one major power per story arc. Also try to keep in mind the way things would logically work in your world. What kinds of things would Silver be logically able to do at the point in his life that you begin the story? It sounds like he did well at his magical dueling school, so he would probably have some abilities there; however, he's young and a recent college graduate, so while he is probably a match or well above the level of most of his classmates, he would probably get the shit kicked out of him if he went up against an alumnus of that school who'd been out in the world honing his skills for a decade or two. School basically prepares you to enter a particular career or discipline; doing well in school means you're a good entry-level candidate, it doesn't mean you're a master of that discipline.
It's also logical that he would be good at business at this point, but probably not wealthy yet. He knows how to earn money but wealth takes time to build. Have him start out low-level somewhere in the business world and work his way up, as I said I think you could make an entire story arc out of a conflict between him and some evil businesspony, either a competitor or someone he works for. You could play this out over several chapters and then resolve it, maybe even work in another complete arc before he even thinks of going to Ponyville. If you want him to be a successful and wealthy character, you should spend some time showing his climb to success, rather than just start the story out where he's already successful.
As to his intellectual pursuits, again it makes sense he would be smart and ambitious but not terribly accomplished yet. I think it would be a good idea to have him write a book or something (ONE book) that ends up being reasonably successful in some circles and gains him a small amount of fame and income, but not enough to propel him to the top. Again I think this could serve as a potential introduction point for when he eventually meets Twilight. Oh, and one more thing about that: you really need to examine the dynamics between the two of them and how you approach that. The way I'd set it up is to have Silver be aware that the Princess of Friendship lives in town when he eventually gets to Ponyville and wants to meet her, but isn't sure how to approach. Twilight finds out through the grapevine that he moved there recently, and it turns out she's read his book and liked it. The details of how they meet are up to you, but ideally, at the beginning, Silver should be more impressed with Twilight than Twilight should be with Silver. Treat the relationship the way you treat the rest of what he does: as a goal that he gradually accomplishes over the course of the story. You can even use stats and things to make it work if that helps you; make a dating sim out of it. Create a progress bar for his efforts to win her over. Every time he does something to impress her, it goes up. Every time he does something arrogant or stupid, it goes down. Set a high threshold for winning her over that will take him multiple arcs to achieve. A romantic story within an action story is by nature a subplot, so dole it out in small chunks and space it out across multiple arcs.
Also if you didn't see them I would recommend you give a couple of other posts I made a quick read: >>3929
and >>3928. Pay particular attention to what I said about characterization because it's a significant deficiency in your writing that I've seen thus far, and if you can improve in that area it will help you a lot in any genre you might want to write in. You should also try to resist the temptation to go off topic or ramble too much or drop too much information into the story at once. Some writers like to outline and some like to make the story up as they go, but one way or the other you should have a general plan in mind for where you want the story to go in the long-term and try to follow it. In your case you may want to try writing a short outline for each arc you want to work on, then divide the action up so you know what events should happen in each chapter. The plan isn't gospel and you can deviate a bit from it if you want, but try to more or less adhere to the general timeline so that action keeps flowing evenly and your text doesn't get bogged down.
For instance Chapter 6 that you posted, which is where I initially started reading, is by far the longest chapter in your entire story, but very little actually happens in that chapter. If you lay it out so that by the end of chapter 6, this and this and this should have happened, then discover that Chapter 6 has swollen practically to the size of its own novel, but you haven't even covered half the events that you wanted to cover, that will serve as a red flag that you probably have some extraneous text that you need to remove or break up. Remember, if you're planning to write a long continuous work that spans multiple volumes anyway, you have no real constraints on length, so there's really no reason you need to feed the reader a huge amount of information at once. Just write it all out for yourself and save it to your hard drive somewhere, then use that text as a reference for yourself. You may want to consider writing a world bible or something similar that lays out all the complicated autistic mechanics and everyone's backstories and personal history so that you can reference it while writing. It will help you keep your details straight and also allow you to get a lot of your ideas out of your head and on paper, so you won't be as tempted to dump them into the text of your story. A lot of fantasy authors who set stories in complicated fictional worlds do something similar.
Sticking with Chapter 6 as an example, as I said you have an extremely long chapter in which very little happens. The reason for this is that you obviously have quite a bit to say about Glimmer and her beliefs and the things she's done, and the dialog between Silver and Glimmer dominates most of the chapter. Without changing any of the core content or message, you could split this up much more effectively across multiple chapters or even multiple arcs with a bit of planning and thought. You could simultaneously address some of the logic issues in this chapter.
You have Silver meet Glimmer for the first time at the barn party, however as it's been pointed out Glimmer is living in Twilight's castle, and you've said that one of Silver's clones has been inside the castle to explore it. It would thus make sense that Silver would be aware of Glimmer's presence in Ponyville, however at the party Silver seems shocked to find her there, which is how the fight starts. The whole thing just doesn't make much sense.
A better way to handle this would be to again eliminate the clone thing, and then have Silver bump into Glimmer at some point. He recognizes her, they argue (NOT for 30k words, just a short argument). Don't have them physically fight, just argue for maybe a couple of paragraphs, then Glimmer storms off. This sets up a conflict that you can make into a recurring event. It also opens up the potential for a conflict between Twilight and Silver, because Glimmer is Twilight's friend and Silver and Glimmer hate each other. Conflict is good, it's the stuff that stories are made from. If you want a long-runnning story, you'll want to set up multiple conflicts that can be resolved over time.
You can play out this back and forth a lot across multiple chapters or even multiple arcs. My advice, since you've said that Glimmer is not meant to be a major villain but just kind of a small distraction for Silver, is to make it a side story that intermittently pops up from time to time, rather than focusing an arc on it. Glimmer pops in and out of the story, and every time she does they argue about Communism or Equalism or whatever you want to call it. Just a short argument, nothing huge. If Twilight is around maybe have her stick up for Glimmer but also start to see things from Silver's perspective as well, the more he lays points out. In the end you can resolve it however you want, just don't do the whole thing all at once, and try to focus on events rather than rhetoric. In the massive argument scene, you tend to repeat a lot of the same points over and over. This isn't necessarily bad, but it's better to dole these kinds of ideas out across multiple scenes in small, easy to digest chunks. Again, remember your audience. People reading action stories probably aren't as interested in long debate sequences, so if you want to slip ideology into your story in a way that might influence them, you have to do it more subtly. Try to make the argument scenes topical and relate to events in the world, rather than something as broad and theoretical as ideology.
He's calling other people but between these two 'ebic drama threads' slightly turned into something useful (thank GlimmerNigel, faggot) and the poll drama /mlpol/ looks like it's experiencing the fall part of the cycle:
"weak men creating reddit-times"
Over all it's comedic because of how this mooomoo is
literally leddit even though he says I'm leddit incarnate.>>3937
So? You say I'm leddit, a valid flaw to be fair, but compared to my ledditfied description of myself aren't you still a bigger ledditor than me? Or is helping leddit pay the bills not counted?
It's almost like someone is making you criticize yourself.