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File: 1513400967649.jpg (1.48 MB, 1920x1080, img-2048973-1-epic-mlp-wit….jpg)

e7ac9 No.34464[Last 50 Posts]

This is the Nuts thread. Its based on D&D 3.5e rules,… but only loosely, and only as a baseline. It's really an anything goes free-for-all, continuous RP thread. If ur interested, say "Hi" or announce yourself and GM or participants will be happy to assist. In the meantime, much of the party just jumped into the Ethereal Plane to murder some shit, cuz why not? We haven't killed anything (well Thez has) in like 3-4 days now (real-time, not game time) and like I said, why not?

94dd4 No.34466

Hi /overboard/!

5a385 No.34467

File: 1513401031285.png (175.11 KB, 600x600, 934.png)

35e65 No.34468

File: 1513401078383.png (87 KB, 525x596, flashy is asleep.png)


35e65 No.34469

*spams all detection abilities*
Where are the ghosts?

94dd4 No.34470


35e65 No.34471

*cue themesong*

5a385 No.34472

"If you stand still, then you will only cover an area of 2830 square feet a round, and it will be the smae 2830 feet the next round, and the next round, and the next round. If you move forward at half speed, you'll cover a much larger area AND IT WILL ACTUALLY BE A DIFFERENT SET OF DARKNESS EACH ROUND"


5a385 No.34473

35e65 No.34474

[confused pony noises]
*bolts because sharp spurs*

94dd4 No.34475

That works too

5a385 No.34476


Detect Evil!

Also, if you actually think we'd encounter Devourers, shouldn't I cast Death Ward? That protects from "negative energy effects" for 16 minutes

e7ac9 No.34477

Alright, so the (active) party is currently galavanting on the Ethereal Plane which is ahem a misty, fog-bound dimension. Its collection of swirling mists and colorful fogs that border the material plane, which is visible but muted and indistinct. The colors blur into eachother and the edges turn fuzzy. The area is mostly empty of structures and impediments, and there is no gravity making movement difficult to those without self-propulsion (wings, for example).

94dd4 No.34478

"You know what this place needs?

5a385 No.34479

File: 1513401778313.jpg (88.04 KB, 1000x600, e1ssy8zmsovz.jpg)

>Moving on your own propulsion
Plebian. Mounted travel is the only fit travel

35e65 No.34480


Does Spell-turning turn spell-like abilities?

35e65 No.34481

Dice rollRolled 14 + 5

Listen check again

35e65 No.34482

Dice rollRolled 20 + 5

And a Spot Check

e7ac9 No.34483

Kek, that reminds me of my paintballing days
Several in number, moving fast, and distant
>listening and spotting on the ethereal plane

94dd4 No.34484

Dice rollRolled 12

Torc casts frog swarm as propulsion
Roll for perception check using magic and shit

e7ac9 No.34485

Uhm,… frogs appear in the surrounding area, not falling to the ground as would be normal, but just floating in the air with a confused (for a frog) expression on their face.
Frog swarm does not propel.

5a385 No.34486

Well mother fucker
What size? What intensity?
Ready full round attack Vanderiem

e7ac9 No.34487

So just to be clear, where are you going? Just "that way"?

94dd4 No.34488

B-but muh newton's laws

5a385 No.34489

We found something. Let's figure out if it's what you think it is

5a385 No.34490

But they are not shot out of the staff, so there's no pushing effect

35e65 No.34491

b-b-b muh 20…
Hone in on aura using telepathy and Ready self for combat. Approach cautiously
Cast True Strike, and share it with Trumpaladin.
Looking for something to kill

e7ac9 No.34492

Ur in the ethereal plane, newton's laws don't apply. Null gravity. Also, the frogs don't fire from ur arse.

35e65 No.34493

>the frogs don't fire from ur arse

5a385 No.34494

Detect evil what's the hit die on the foes?

e7ac9 No.34495

Oh fine, you see darting shapes in the distance moving at high speed. They're moving too fast to make anything out but a blurred face, which appears haggard and lanky, with green skin covering.

5a385 No.34496

With Detect Evil, what is the approximate intensity of the creatures, and what direction are they going?

35e65 No.34497

Alert Trump of targets
Observe and prepare to engage

e7ac9 No.34498

It varies. Lots are squishy, some are decent, a handful are stronk, and there's a bit of mustard in the mix.
Oh they've detected the group, and are flying around at range.

5a385 No.34499

>prepare to engage
If we're going up against soul suckers I want to know so I can cast the spell, and if we are not, I want to wait, so it isn't dried up one minute before we encounter soul suckers

94dd4 No.34500

Ah, yes.
Now I have this
Fuck, I can't find the video with the guy talking about doin some drug and leprechauns flying out his arse

e7ac9 No.34501

"Fug. I lost them, can you see anything?" Thez says to Torcuil (who has also lost sight of Trump and Tracy)

5a385 No.34502

Does she show up on Detect evil? By the way, that's being used like a radar now

94dd4 No.34503

"Uh, no I've lost em"

e7ac9 No.34504

BTW, Thez WOULD have given back the girdle and Sugoito,… IF Trump and Tracy hadn't taken off like idiots,…. Xp

35e65 No.34505

Dice rollRolled 4 + 21

Devourers aren't fast.
Be ready for a surprise.
And draw your bow.
Nightmarish Track check

e7ac9 No.34506

>Tracking, on the ethereal plane
What about vacuous and gaseous plane of nothing don't you get?

5a385 No.34507

I wanted to go back to the tower, but Tracy dragged me here

Quick Draw Composite Bob's Bow, ready full round attack on creature that comes in range and in clear shot
Cast spell now?

94dd4 No.34508

35e65 No.34509

Idk… She's got insane survival on other planes.. but I guess that doesn't apply..

35e65 No.34510

Which spell?

e7ac9 No.34511

What kinda acid was he taking?
Torcuil flies off, a stream of leprechauns flying out his ass.
"Well fug," Thez says, and takes off after him. "DO you even know which way they went?" she calls after as he continues to fly, propelled by leprechauns. Leprechauns. Seriously? Oi.

5a385 No.34512


"The subject is immune to all death spells, magical death effects, energy drain, and any negative energy effects"

35e65 No.34513

How far away are the targets?

5a385 No.34514

Holding in a circle moving around us, "distant," but have spotted the group

94dd4 No.34515

Hey, Trumps the one to mention frogs coming out of asses.

e7ac9 No.34516

Dice rollRolled 6

Too far to make anything out, but shapes can still be seen moving about
Yeah, ya should

35e65 No.34517

Ask the leprechauns

35e65 No.34518

Activate Robe and start phuming smoke like crazy

e7ac9 No.34519

Are you still moving?

35e65 No.34520

Moving enough to keep sense of the targets, but treading more carefully now.

94dd4 No.34521

Dice rollRolled 1

Can't, theyre touching his lucky charms on the way out
Control check

94dd4 No.34522

>open google
>type "nearest cliff"

5a385 No.34523

That was GM

>"What do demon horse"

35e65 No.34524

File: 1513403136693-0.png (285.36 KB, 2400x2376, liftarn-Laughing-leprechau….png)

5a385 No.34525

Stand still and wait for them to come? Charge them? Go closer and shoot with bow? Should I ready a bow or a sword? Should I cast death ward or some other spell or wait?

5a385 No.34526

Is it possible to shoot any of them with a bow - that is, are the targets clear enough and close enough?

35e65 No.34527

>'Well… We get in range.. and then we stab them.."
Find first; then get in shooting range.
Shoot first, then make ride-by attacks

*follows whateverthefuck*

e7ac9 No.34528

fukking kek
Well, my my calculations (and thats per a dice roll, since Torcuil TOTALLY moffed his control check (not that he got one for ass-leprechauns)) Torcuil is heading in a completely different direction than Trump and Tracy, and he has no control. Thez is keeping pace.
You can shoot, in fact range rules are less applicable,… but its almost like the moving shapes know that too. They're maintaining a perimeter, analyzing the pair. There are some watching the flying-leprechaun-scotsman, but thats more from disbelief and curiosity than aggressive strategy.

94dd4 No.34529

Dice rollRolled 1

Check to shove a cork in ti

94dd4 No.34530


5a385 No.34531

Dice rollRolled 7, 4, 11, 20 = 42

Shoot Full Round with Compisite Bob's bow at smaller target, chose the one closest and clearest

5a385 No.34532

What are the stats on Bob's bow? Wasn't it a +2 bow? And what is the damage roll?

35e65 No.34533

Dice rollRolled 12, 2, 14 = 28

*unleashes chain and sends it to attack*
It can attack… three times?

5a385 No.34534

Well, because you didn't advance to level 15 rogue you really should only have two attacks

35e65 No.34535

>leprechaun-pressure was too great

35e65 No.34536

An Everwhirling Chain is a chain of speed too.

e7ac9 No.34537

Dice rollRolled 16 - 8

This shit writes its self
So Torcuil continues to shoot off, propelled by ass-leprechauns, well distant from Tracy and Trump (who seem to have become stationary). Thez is close behind.
>No manyshot feat
Trump fires a single arrow, at an elusive target, that is moving, and is partially obscured.

5a385 No.34538

Fuck it then

Readies Vanderiem for when something get's within melee distance

e7ac9 No.34539

You assume its in range

94dd4 No.34540

Dice rollRolled 18

Anal clentch roll?
I'm out of ideas

5a385 No.34541

Follow the Leprechaun

e7ac9 No.34542

That'll work
The leprechauns are long gone, and went in a completely different direction. Remember, Tracy sped off - spurred by Trump's "Chad charge" - before Thez and Torcuil even GOT to the ethereal plane, and they went in a different direction. Good move btw.

94dd4 No.34543

"I'm never doing drugs again"

35e65 No.34544

Is it not?
Spirited Charge. Make 3 ride by attacks when in range.
I suggest Trump does the same.
We could meet up with the rest of the group…
Let's do that.

5a385 No.34545

Make up your mind

Are you being sarcastic with the good move or what?

Either way, he has a readied full round sword attack for an enemy within range

5a385 No.34547

The great Erwin Rommel told his troops "In the absence of orders, find something and kill it." I suggest we do the same

35e65 No.34548

Does she sense the rest of the party?
You're the rider, you steer.

e7ac9 No.34549

>when in range
Okay, I'll let you know
Uhm,… spoiler alert, these enemies aren't going to LET you get in range
Hold on, I'll paint a picture.

5a385 No.34550

Follow the movement

Detect evil

94dd4 No.34551

I have shit to do… techinicaly now today, and yesterday was a steaming pill of shit so I'm going to sleep, see you faggots tomorrow

35e65 No.34552

Idk what these are. Devourers are slow, and Marauders aren't ebil..
>Torc is blasting off again

5a385 No.34553

If the horse does a charge then he's in range

Poor Torcuil's faggot. Goodnight

5a385 No.34554

Hellhounds? What lives on the Ethereal plane?

e7ac9 No.34556

File: 1513404499212.png (4.78 KB, 542x758, ufuggedup.png)

This is a rough sketch of the inherent trajectories. As you can see (given the time differential) neither group (Trump/Tracy OR Torcuil/Thez) had the chance to really analyze where the other was going. Each pair is kinda on their own at this point.
'Night! You won't die, Thez is with you.

35e65 No.34557

The chain is 60 ft, and she charges fast.
How fast are these things moving?
Anything with the ability, I guess…
Shouldn't Trump be able to detect Thez because her class ability designates her as an Outsider?

5a385 No.34558

e7ac9 No.34559

Lots of things, and even more venture to it.
You might be surprised
There are approximately 16 signatures, of varying intensity. The stronger intensity signatures are more distant and stationary, while the less intense signatures seem to be the ones whirling around and darting to and fro.

5a385 No.34560

>Something about hellhounds obviously not being ethereal
Nigger I have no idea what is on the ethereal plane. I don't want to be here. I'd rather advance towards a group goal like killing off the Cardishore Globalists or interrogating Darkie, going to the Drow, murdering them all, and then taking their stuff. Or if you want to go hunt random monsters, go north or far to the east to kill dragons, which leave 3x treausure, unlike Devourers that leave none at all. If you want to kill something on the Ethereal plane, find something and kill it

A couple masters with controlled fiends I'll bet

e7ac9 No.34561

Good point. Trump can't detect anything, because everyone is out of range.

35e65 No.34562

Goddammit, just fucking charge forward until we're in range to do something.
>inb4, they're intelligent, peaceful creatures

35e65 No.34563

Also, activate the Ring of Spell turning on the Hand of Glory.

5a385 No.34564

This so much


e7ac9 No.34565

GM sighs and rests his chin on his hand, watching Trump and Tracy speed off to their doom.

35e65 No.34566

When you say that, I lose all confidence…

5a385 No.34567

Or we could pop back into the material realm. Where we have some vague idea of what is trying to kill us

35e65 No.34569

Why the fuck not?
*pops back*

e7ac9 No.34570

THERE'S an idea,….

5a385 No.34571

So, wanna go through woods looking for monsters or talk to darkie, or go to cardishore?

35e65 No.34572

Gotta figure out where we are first…

e7ac9 No.34573

File: 1513405368121.png (485.44 KB, 488x499, numap.png)

Both materialize,… alive,… on the golden X in pic relted.
For the record, you would have both died, have woken up in the entertron, with no equipment. You're welcome.

5a385 No.34574

Dice rollRolled 7

We were not charging for very long, and movement in the Ethereal plane is half as fast as the material. We'll be fine.

Search check surroundings, as if Trumpaladin could tell one strand of trees from another

e7ac9 No.34575

Future note, don't run off like an idiot. Strategy (which ur opponents had in spades) can defeat ANY level opponent.

35e65 No.34576

Shit… I didn't realize they'd gone that far.
*chill runs down spine*

5a385 No.34577

Fuck yeah! Dragons!

I'll repeat what I said to Tracy's faggot to you
">Something about hellhounds obviously not being ethereal
Nigger I have no idea what is on the ethereal plane. I don't want to be here. I'd rather advance towards a group goal like killing off the Cardishore Globalists or interrogating Darkie, going to the Drow, murdering them all, and then taking their stuff. Or if you want to go hunt random monsters, go north or far to the east to kill dragons, which leave 3x treasure, unlike Devourers that leave none at all. If you want to kill something on the Ethereal plane, find something and kill it"

e7ac9 No.34578

>Movement 1/2
Why would you think that?

5a385 No.34579

Oh calm down. We're in great hunting territory. Wish I had Fae though. Can she get here quickly?

35e65 No.34580

>Can she get here quickly

e7ac9 No.34581

Do you think you're in range for empathic link?

5a385 No.34582

Because that's what the wiki page says
>An ethereal creature is invisible, insubstantial, and capable of moving in any direction, even up or down, albeit at half normal speed.

When you call a mount, they appear the next round right next to you from the celestial plane

35e65 No.34584

Dice rollRolled 7, 2, 1 = 10

Spot, Search and Listen
Wtf are we?

5a385 No.34585

Dice rollRolled 16

What is the biome we are in?

Spot check
Detect Evil

35e65 No.34586

What a shitty fucking roll that was.
>+5 on spot and listen

35e65 No.34587

Detect Good, because why not?

35e65 No.34589


35e65 No.34590

Dice rollRolled 7 + 19

Rolling to Hide

5a385 No.34591

Why? Also can you outrun a dragon?

35e65 No.34592

Well, she could out-maneuver one, if it didn't just breath fire at them..
Why not?

e7ac9 No.34593

See, here we're in a pickle. The rules listed by Ethereal Jaunt describe an individual who is otherwise non-ethereal, moving at base speed. When one considers that Tracy was spurred, she can be assumed to be moving at greater than 'base' speed. In addition, I disagree entirely with the rulebook on movement speed in the ethereal plane, with regard to self-propulsion, which Tracy has. I'm of the mind that self-propelled characters/entities - given that there are no obstructions or landscape to deter - would move at twice their base movement rate.

35e65 No.34594

>would move at twice their base movement rate
Wow, add a run check to that and she could move… really fast.

e7ac9 No.34595

Don't worry, Thez and Torcuil will find themselves in equal a pickle.

5a385 No.34596

There's no block on something like a road. If anything it should be the same, since there's air resistance in both apparently

e7ac9 No.34597

But there's no air resistence in the ethereal plane, hence the accellerated (in my design) movement

5a385 No.34598

You said a few posts ago that wings work. They wouldn't do anything with no air resistance. But whatever, I'll argue about this when it becomes an issue later

35e65 No.34599

What pickle are we in?

5a385 No.34600

The kind that gives treasure

35e65 No.34601

How do you know that?

e7ac9 No.34602

I hadn't planned it, but for now the party's biggest issue is finding their way back to Port Barry
Hmmm, you're right, thats contradictory. One moment

5a385 No.34603

Well, if we encounter a dragon, and it is small enough to kill, then we can take it's treasure. I think a lot of monsters and barbarians give treasure. You wanted to grind xp, well, you're in precisely the right place to do it

35e65 No.34604

>small enough to kill
>in the mountains
You mean babies/teenagers?
Sure, that's something to do.

35e65 No.34605

It's getting close to 2:00AM…

5a385 No.34606

You got like a 140 HP don't you? I think we could take on up to a full adult. And if we encounter something larger… you can move at 3x speed right? If nothing else, Ethereal Jaunt

5a385 No.34607

On a Saturday morning

e7ac9 No.34608

K. Trump is right, wings would not work. Since however, no one is using wings (or air resistence) as a propulsion method, its a moot point. The 2x speed is still in play, and Torcuil and Thez will find themselves approximately 166% the distance Trump and Tracy crossed, except to the east rather than the north.

e7ac9 No.34610

Also, I think now is a good time to adjourn this "casual" weekend Xp

046ba No.34611

and i thought i was bad at roiling.

ade21 No.34612

Figured out the easy way out. I still think the hard way may be more fun

35e65 No.34613

Are you talking about the teleporting helmet?

35e65 No.34615

Is there a machine at the tower that assembles golems/constructs?

e7ac9 No.34616

Seriously, I had to check the script to make sure that wasn't a 1d1 troll.
There might be, you'll have to wait until you're not ~150 miles away to check tho. ^_~

35e65 No.34617


35e65 No.34618

File: 1513442167295-0.jpg (30.74 KB, 640x320, 328ca3fb3daf3f0147dbcfa43f….jpg)

>tfw you move so fast you don't realize you're speeding all the way across the continent right into the jaws of doom

94dd4 No.34619

You wheren't the one with leprechauns spewing out your anus

e7ac9 No.34620

It wasn't the speed that would have done you in, it was the opponents and their methods. Some opponents do and will make it a practice to kill things much bigger and badder than them

35e65 No.34621

If it's any compensation, that shit was fucking hilarious.
I wonder what they were… Idk what kind of creature moves faster than Tracy and can use Ethereal juant..
Oh well, time will tell.

94dd4 No.34622

Not gonna lie, those rolls had be in tears

e7ac9 No.34623

I won't spoil it, they'll be back eventually, but they didn't use ethereal jaunt. They made their way to the ethereal plane from another plane (not the material). Also it wasn't that they move faster (they don't) but they were maintaining a distanced formation. They were sizing you up.

35e65 No.34624

I'm going to have to work for several hours..

94dd4 No.34625

046ba No.34626

e7ac9 No.34627

File: 1513445497718.png (1.19 MB, 1003x567, NUERmap.png)

Here's a rough depiction of the new locations, Tr/Tr in gold, To/Th in blue.

ade21 No.34628

Neat. What is the biome, and what is the scene from Trumcy's perspective?

e7ac9 No.34629

Mostly plants
kidding, I'm working on it

35e65 No.34630

Are all the area-names on the map accurate?

046ba No.34631

"huh where everyone go!?"

5a385 No.34632

>Even Thez is gone
I feel sorry for you man

35e65 No.34633

They're gone.
Try talking to Darkie.

ade21 No.34634

*Bends over, and hugs horsey*

e7ac9 No.34635

For simplicity, yes, though they may have more colloquial names when ventured to, and don't assume that the name necessarily correlates to the dynamic and local structure (though it may). Also, there are no names on the world, so technically that info is not known to characters

35e65 No.34636

[affectionate pony noises]
Is he still small?

35e65 No.34637

>that info is not known to characters
Did Tracy learn anything about the local geography from the atlases she read in the library?

046ba No.34638

*sad minotuar noises*

e7ac9 No.34639

No, much as those mini-memes made me kek
It certainly wasn't planned, but it will (hopefully) be resolved before too long (which with this lot, means next tuesday Xp)

ade21 No.34640

I do not know
"I know it may not seem like it at times, but I really do love you Tracy. And I cannot stop loving you. I want you Tracy"

35e65 No.34641

"… Really?"

046ba No.34642

can i go talk to the drow?

ade21 No.34643

*hugs horsey again*
"Of course. I am happy to see you, I miss you when you're away. I love the feel of your soft blue fur and I love your adorable pony noises and jump scares. I see how devoted you are. You'll make a great mother to my son, I'm glad he has you. I'm glad I have you"

35e65 No.34644

[happy pony noises]
".. Tha.. th-that makes me feel better…"

ade21 No.34645

*tries to look into horsey eyes, or at least eye from the angle*
*rubs horsey neck fur*
"You feel better? Well that's not enough for me.What can I do to make you feel complete?"

e7ac9 No.34646

046ba No.34647

i walk to where he is.
"hows it going knife ear?"

35e65 No.34648

>what can I do
Help her kill Trollestia.And Fae (optional)
She'll love that.
"…. I… I'm not really sure.."
[confused pony noises]

e7ac9 No.34649

"Oh good god. What do you want? Decided to amuse yourself at my expense ay? he gets more cockney when he's agitated Well go on then, its not like I've got anything better to do."

35e65 No.34650

It's serious though.
Can we get a glimpse of where we are?

e7ac9 No.34651

You mean aside from the maps? I'm assuming you're at an elevated position, so more ground-based details depend on getting a closer look. It's at the border of a mountainous area and a plains area with some not too distant forest.

5a385 No.34652

I'll help her kill Trollestia if she's not pregnant. My loyal attack football kitty is entirely off the table though
"I do want you to be happy, little pony"

046ba No.34653

"ugh what that smell?"
"me came to alleviate your boredom, me a doctor me know it not good to be left alone this long."

5a385 No.34654

"Take us down horsey. Let's see what's worth our while in this area"

e7ac9 No.34655

"Oh what, you leave a man in a steel body-cast and you expect poupurri? Suddenly you're concerned about my well being is it? If you're not here to let me out, be a good lad and sod off!"

35e65 No.34656

Dice rollRolled 7 + 20

Better do it before bothering to find out. It's all going down the tubes if that's the case.
*descends slowly and stealthily as possible* (for a horse in mid air)
Roll to Move Silently

046ba No.34657

"me Bet you hungry huh?"

35e65 No.34658

Dice rollRolled 9 + 20

Hey, when it says that Empathetic link gives the paladin and the mount the same connection to a place or item, does that also apply to worn items? When Tracy wears her cloak of charisma, does Trump look Equally fabulous by proxy?

35e65 No.34659

Didn't mean to roll

e7ac9 No.34660

"Oh, you're a right prick now aren't you, all pleased with yourself. You wouldn't be smiling if we the shackles were off, I'll tell ya that!"

5a385 No.34661

"Why stealth? The last time we used stealth we failed to activate a dragon attack we could have taken. How are we going to clear the area of monsters if they don't know we're here?"

Now what does she need that cloak for?
*sad paladin noises*

046ba No.34662

"what you like to eat?"

35e65 No.34663

Dice rollRolled 19 + 21

She was going to give it to him, but then you asked for a Spell resistance cloak.
How does the item-synch work then?
>Why stealth
"I don't want to get shot before engaging"
Listen check to sense nearby creatures.

35e65 No.34664

Dice rollRolled 9 + 21

Follow up with a Spot check

35e65 No.34665

>How are we going to clear the area of monsters if they don't know we're here
"We'll make noise once we're ready for combat."
They could both make mounted Sneak Attacks together, if he fell.

046ba No.34667


046ba No.34668


5a385 No.34669

Dice rollRolled 17, 1 = 18

If you want to get back to interrogate the Drow right now, I've figured out several different ways of using the helm that I think I can argue that would get us there in one or two jumps

I'd like some numbers on these cloaks. Depending on stats and the like, it may make sense to switch. What is she wearing in the robe cloak category?

Detect evil. Spot Check. Search Check for anything civilizational

e7ac9 No.34671

"Oh a comedian now are you, here to have a laugh? If you're expecting me to beg I won't. I just hope I get a crack at your cheeky ass at some point."
It means that divination, or other types of items are and can be shared (visual-empathy). Please note, the rules were not designed for character-based-awakened-pony-cauchemar-murderer-paladin-mounts.
It would take more than that, but it would help speed your return,… except you have no compass, and the area is unfamiliar, meaning you can't be sure which way is 'back'.

35e65 No.34672

Dice rollRolled 19 + 21

Rolling for compensation search.

35e65 No.34673


35e65 No.34674

Helm would never work on a Drow Assassin.

046ba No.34675

"me being serious we have machine that make any kind of food."

94dd4 No.34676

Torc wakes up after his anal trama
"Where am I?"

5a385 No.34677

Dice rollRolled 19

So where does horsey want to go?

I don't think the teleportation spell requires much more knowledge than knowledge of the destination, but I'll argue that when I want to use it.

Does a search check show anything civilization-related anywhere in sight? Rolling again because he'd do this for minutes

Wrong helm, and I bet it would if he managed to fail a will saving throw

You're not in some trucker's cab at least

e7ac9 No.34678

"Oh, well, look who's had a gander about the building! Isn't he special? You think I don't fukkin' know that already? You think you lot are the first to venture about this place?

046ba No.34679

"hey stop being a cunt or me shit in mouth."

35e65 No.34680

What do they find once they get close to the ground?

94dd4 No.34681

Who the fuck is infernius talking to?

35e65 No.34682

>So where does horsey want to go?
I want to go exploring/hunting/looting
She wants to go on a solo adventure with her husband, a long one.

35e65 No.34683


5a385 No.34684

While we have Drow to fight and an impending war against the Cardishore/Court alliance? With no food, chopsticks, and I am not sure I got the sword and girdle back? Okay…

94dd4 No.34685

So GM, what does Torc find when he wakes up?
They are Torc's copstick, you don't get them
Also, wrong post

5a385 No.34686

Well Fuck you too
See >>34684

35e65 No.34687

>With no food
They'll be fine. There should be game in the forest.

046ba No.34688

infernuis knows how to farm.

35e65 No.34689

What did he grow?

5a385 No.34690

Infernius is 150 miles away right now…

+21 for Tracy. What is he going to sleep on? Tracy?

He's been hinting it this whole time

94dd4 No.34691


35e65 No.34692

File: 1513454260672-0.jpg (529.62 KB, 1369x2418, 5BPXcB4.jpg)


046ba No.34693

potatos carrots greens that sort of stuff.

35e65 No.34694

>for Tracy
Survival applies to allies to others as well. He'll be fine with her.
Worry about Dragons and whatnot.

046ba No.34695

what the fuck did i just read?
he didnt know that existed untill he came here.

5a385 No.34696

Kek. Remember when you posted that "what do you need 200 pigeons for" screencap? If we had a homing pidgeon, we could follow it home, or at least send a message back.

"When the time comes, I'll know"

I want a nice city to conquer…

046ba No.34697

>I want a nice city to conquer…

35e65 No.34698

File: 1513455106716-0.jpg (95.8 KB, 750x600, lawful_good_2.jpg)

>city to conquer
You'd have to """liberate""" it first..

046ba No.34699

i wouldn't.

35e65 No.34700

I too want to conquer nations..
..Or at least burn down a village or something.

046ba No.34701

burn down cardishore.

35e65 No.34702

She will if she finds out they lost her special knives.

94dd4 No.34703

What allignment would be
>there are no civilians, just "acceptable causalties

5a385 No.34704

File: 1513455344458.jpg (88.62 KB, 850x400, quote-some-who-call-themse….jpg)

>Implying I can't do both at the same time

Eh, we'll see what to do with the settlement once we know its essential character. I feel like I need more humans. More of them to work in the mines and factories, more to buy my products, and more to rule over

You already burned down a city and killed a source of mine workers. You also caged an entire village. Hush

046ba No.34705


046ba No.34706

i need more!

046ba No.34707

good burn the capitalist kikes.

e7ac9 No.34708

Sorry, some shit just hit the fan. I'm gonna need a minute.

94dd4 No.34709

Np, its fine

5a385 No.34710

Fuck off. The continent does not have infinite resources. Be smart

35e65 No.34711

That's fine.
I g2g too.

e7ac9 No.34712

Whew, heaven hasn't fallen who here gets that joke? so back to the races!
"Oh well shit, I guess I'd better shape up or I might be in store for some right adversity! Did you have a question unicorn?"
You find yourself on a beach. Thez is nearby, trying to find her bearings.
Anything from true neutral to chaotic evil
I'd forgotten about that

5a385 No.34713

>Did you have a question unicorn?
Is Trollestia there?

>Thez and Torcuil are alone together on a beach

Oh God. I know where this is going


We should probably free them

e7ac9 No.34714

No, that was for Infernius, who only has one horn
Its the sjw village Infernius raided

046ba No.34715

"what you want to eat. me trying to show you some respect."

e7ac9 No.34716

"At this point I'd eat your other horn if that's what was available!"

046ba No.34717

"hmmm strange but okay me be back."
*goes to the kitchen and gets Minotaur horn soup for him and some roasted dark elf for me*

35e65 No.34718

I get it
So, where are Tracy and Trump, and what's around them? Did any of those checks detect anything?

35e65 No.34719

046ba No.34720

*chops up a psychedelic mushroom and adds it to the soup along with some carrots and potatos and some pepper.*

5a385 No.34721

So… Um… what do Trumcy see? I think Tracy is specifically looking for living things, and Trumpaladin is looking for roads, houses, wells, ruins, or freaking anything besides nature

e7ac9 No.34722

The climate is a bit colder but not terribly so. There is more wildlife in the area flitting about, and observably more birds. Its not terribly different than the Port Barry area, but it seems less travelled. Instead of roads here are small trails (mostly animal) and the apparently human transit routes show a lack of carriage/coach wheels, just foot/hoof prints. The squaking of birds can be heard from tall grass nearby, and the general scene seems like people don't visit often.
Out of curiosity, where did he get shrooms? Asking for a friend. Seriously though, I shouldn't allow that,… but I will

35e65 No.34723

Any signs of those creature they were chasing?

5a385 No.34724

What kind of wildlife are we talking about here?

e7ac9 No.34725

Nope, they haven't made any sign. Wildlife is what you would expect: rodents, birds, and generally mild creatures.

35e65 No.34726

Does the humanoid trail appear to lead anywhere observable?

5a385 No.34727

Alrighty then

*pets horsey*
"Alright Tracy, I think the generals will be expecting me back, but if we're honest, I think Fae can handle it. I can stay out a while longer here with you.

So tell me, where do you want to go? Do you want to go into the plains? Do you want to venture into the mountains? Do you want to venture into the forest? Personally, I've seen enough damned trees over the course of two lifetimes to last me plenty more, but I'll go where you want. I may be able to get us directly home - now even - though I cannot be sure"

5a385 No.34728

"I am going to recommend you just walk on hoof. You'll be a lot harder to see if you're on the ground, and you'll look like a horse. Not a UFO"

e7ac9 No.34729

Not immediately, no. It curls in one direction and the opposite, coming near to the base of the mountainside at one point, while leading back along/into the forest at both ends.

5a385 No.34730

>A path mysteriously loops around at the base of a mountainside

35e65 No.34731

Alright, follow the trail stealthily, on the lookout for any signs of large or sentient creatures.
Try using Detect Ebil.

5a385 No.34732

I think anything interesting is too far away, but sure. The odds that this pathway is anything other than a hunting trail is slim, but if there's a spot where offerings are left to a dragon, it's where the trail meets the base of the mountain.

Trumpaladin uses the hat of disguise to disguise himself as a farmer. He recommends horsey try to hide her power levels and instead look like a normal if somewhat blue horse

Use Detect evil

35e65 No.34733

It's actually just supposed to be a Hat of Glammering, but sure..

046ba No.34734

mushrooms grow on bull shit.

94dd4 No.34735

"Thez, where the hell are we?"
Torc gets up and brushs sand off of himself

5a385 No.34736

Eh, either way.

I'll just go ahead and tell you my general strategy: Hide our power levels so that opponents are foolish enough to attack us if that is their inclination, then we come out in full force and kill them. Unless they are bigger than us after all, then we hit a panic button (ethereal Jaunt, teleport, or just run/fly like hell) and leave

35e65 No.34737

Dice rollRolled 9 + 19

Okay, do that then.
Bluff check to look nonthreatening.

35e65 No.34738

*walks down trail*

5a385 No.34739

Dice rollRolled 17

Detect evil and spot check

35e65 No.34740

Dice rollRolled 2 + 21

Also Spot check

35e65 No.34741

Dice rollRolled 12 + 21

And Listen

35e65 No.34742

Dice rollRolled 6 + 20

And Search, because why not?

35e65 No.34743

Who runs the Cathedral btw?

046ba No.34744

i guess i haven't technically set up a high priest.

5a385 No.34745

>Not everyone has a gleaming Dragonne to administer Sermons

35e65 No.34746

File: 1513463849001-0.jpg (148.2 KB, 1024x358, eaf.jpg)

File: 1513463849001-1.jpg (182.62 KB, 864x1080, b59.jpg)

Isn't Infernius supposed to be the high priest?
Also, ched memes because boredom.

35e65 No.34747

Can Fae even talk to hoo-mans?

5a385 No.34748

Well, when we first encountered her she was speaking to Trumpaladin (and Tracy heard it). And frankly she speaks like she's more intelligent than most. She's definitely talked to Trumpaladin since then, and I know she directed words to Slovenia, though it isn't clear they were returned. I think the "speak the same language as familiar" thing is a specifically blackguard feature than kicks in at high levels. I think she couldn't speak to Trumpaladin except through speaking Common

046ba No.34749

yea i guess he is.

046ba No.34750

File: 1513464723875.png (536.27 KB, 1401x946, 1512757477463.png)

>tfw when the paldinds god loves him more.

35e65 No.34751

I wonder if I could give other animals bonus languages..

35e65 No.34752

File: 1513465459024-0.jpg (70.84 KB, 600x750, Hitler_72de7d_918845.jpg)

Nah, he's just spoiled.
Hitler is a serious lord, but he's listening.

94dd4 No.34753

RIP Infernius

35e65 No.34754

*blows raspberry*

e7ac9 No.34755

I'm not ignoring you guys or thread, but today is kinda busy/involved for me. I'll try and keep an eye on things, but occasional lurking is the best I can offer.

94dd4 No.34756


5a385 No.34757

*Licks horse in the ear*

94dd4 No.34758

Eww earwax

35e65 No.34759


35e65 No.34760


35e65 No.34761

What exactly is the Cathedral for anyway? Does your character spend time there healing the poor or something?

046ba No.34762

Yea he heals the sick,blind,deaf and poor for free there.

5a385 No.34764

D'aww! That's super cute
*rubs horsey head*

Why you wanna kill Trollestia though? Just look at the entry for Celestial Chargers. These things are OP as fuck. Like I'd love to have one as a mount. Even without Paladin's Mount buffs it beats out buffed up Fae in most aspects and even beats a Cauchemar in overall utility. Like damn, this is a strong magical beast. I want to ride her.

Also, I think I finally found the key to unlocking her and making her do what I want her to.

046ba No.34765

>Why you wanna kill Trollestia though
Beacuse YouFuckedher.

35e65 No.34766

File: 1513476148295.png (230.52 KB, 500x926, 1376187244819.png)

>Why you wanna kill Trollestia
I don't care; I'm trying to stay in character. Why would she let Troll get away with that if she killed Copper over a single ride? She's not just going to do-nothing like a powerless cuck.

5a385 No.34767

Where the fuck did that image come from? Where did you get all of those line drawings from?

35e65 No.34768

I mean, Tracy hates Troll more than every other character, for fucks sake.

35e65 No.34769

File: 1513476494110-0.png (136.26 KB, 409x750, 511754__grimdark_grotesque….png)

Here's a colored version.

94dd4 No.34770

>raises hand
Does Tracy hate Torc?

5a385 No.34771

>also raises hand
Um… How low is Trumpaladin on that list?

35e65 No.34772

A little bit. He hasn't done very much to anger her or get in her way.
Tracy hates everything, fyi.
She loves to hate him.

94dd4 No.34773

>takes note

5a385 No.34774

So… Right above Trollestia?

35e65 No.34775

I won't answer that.

5a385 No.34776

She's so mysterious

35e65 No.34778

Females are complicated.. and dangerous..

35e65 No.34779


35e65 No.34780

File: 1513477130751-0.png (1.32 MB, 1280x1397, a_cagey_love_letter_by_wic….png)

The artist is Wicked-At-Heart.
I've already posted everything from the set though.

5a385 No.34781

I've always had Trumpaladin respond as if he thought her behavior to be a charade. Like she was hiding some deeper malevolence

That's an… interesting image. I think maybe you may want to consider trying to make some of your own Tracy art. She doesn't get much new art on Derpibooru…

35e65 No.34782

File: 1513477349808-0.png (1.63 MB, 1280x1695, tracy_s_got_a_gun_by_wicke….png)

Actually, Idk if I've posted this one yet.

35e65 No.34783

File: 1513477427875-0.png (3.67 MB, 2000x3000, 874921__explicit_grimdark_….png)

35e65 No.34784

When does he usually go?

94dd4 No.34785

Whenever he finishes fucking Thez

5a385 No.34786

Yeah, this is definitely in the "made up after the fact" category

35e65 No.34787

I hope he showers properly…

5a385 No.34788

Okay, now I definitely want a ranking of hatred of other characters

35e65 No.34789

lol I'll never tell!
I threw out the booklet anyway, so I'm at a loss for how to apply the points

94dd4 No.34790

Well, I have shit to do in the morning, and nothing really seems to be happening so I'm calling it a night.
Also, I leave an idea for GM.
So, say you get GMs block and can't think of an idea for a session. Let one of us faggots have a turn at GMing. It would give you a chance to just kinda play Thez and enjoy the game without dealing with GM shit, and give us a chance at GMing. Or am I just stupid and this idea is terrible?

35e65 No.34791

File: 1513479665566-0.jpg (202.33 KB, 1000x1000, flat,1000x1000,075,f.jpg)

Tracy places her Mage Hand in one Gauntlet, and the Hand of Glory in the other.
pic unrelated

35e65 No.34792

It's not rocket science..

35e65 No.34793

When you move a Darkskull, is it's unhallow recast every time it's planted?

5a385 No.34794

35e65 No.34795

File: 1513481484484-0.jpg (25.11 KB, 450x312, iceland.jpg)

Ah, nevermind. It seems like the Unhallow just follows the skull wherever it goes. No cool field spells either, but swank for an ebil character to carry.
Do Ebil creatures or Fiends get any profane bonuses in unhallowed sites?

35e65 No.34796

File: 1513482532323.jpg (122.05 KB, 397x759, tempo.jpg)

I need to get a lot edgier if that's the impression I make with her…

5a385 No.34797

Oh don't feel so down. It's the last verse that makes me think of her

"She runs into the hallway and through the bedroom door
She reaches for the pistol in the bottom dresser drawer
The lady in the mirror says "he won't do this again.
This will be the last time I'll wonder where he's been"

35e65 No.34799

I definitely need to go edgier though… I've been slipping..

5a385 No.34800

Why do you need to be edgier?

35e65 No.34801

File: 1513483362403.jpg (78.78 KB, 505x648, cuhrazee.jpg)

I need her to stab more things… not just the bad ones either..
I need more sentients to stab. It doesn't matter how squishy or poor they are.

5a385 No.34802

Don't kill off my future customers, workers, and subjects. We don't even have enough humans to work the mine in Derpistan
I asked you to stab Torcuil that one time
>how squishy and poor they are
What if they are tough?

35e65 No.34803

File: 1513483652272.jpg (96.94 KB, 803x524, relatively.jpg)

Like, a constant supply of targets..
I wish the settlements of port barry weren't so far off… I guess that's what stealth is for.
>What if they are tough
She'll stab anything she can.

I've been abusing her for a while now.. there's been way too much dere and not enough yan.

5a385 No.34804

Please don't provoke shit for the sake of it. I've been abusing Trumpaladin as well with not enough holy crusading

Let's just kill dragons and bandits and giants together and take their shit, then kill the globalists and take their shit, and leave the peasants alive to prostrate themselves before us

5a385 No.34805

I forgot to add "kill all of the drow and retake our shit" but I hope the point has been made…

35e65 No.34806

File: 1513484052045.png (41.74 KB, 497x487, Tracy's day.png)

… What have I been doing all this time.. killing just one pathetuc fuck a month, like a serial killer. Tracy should be murdering every other day, minimum…

GM, where can Tracy go to kill things on a regular basis without causing drama?

e7ac9 No.34807

Sorry for my absence and I mean that, I was at a 100+ normie function, let me get caught up

35e65 No.34808

File: 1513484256421.jpg (114.53 KB, 800x632, 1363054833212.jpg)

I mean like, how do I incorporate her picking someone off every day?
Do I need to stalk an NPC, kill it, clean up, etc with all separate rolls? I don't want to take a whole session to express a hobby.

5a385 No.34809

We've got more than enough killing that actually legitimately needs to be done

35e65 No.34810

File: 1513484450045.png (113.58 KB, 800x733, 1363057242464.png)

But then it wouldn't be murder. Too Lawful.
It won't take too much time.

e7ac9 No.34811

Not opposed if anyone wants to desu
Ebil, yes
Depending on the target, yes. Are you looking to randomly kill something, or are you looking to find people who Tracy would want to kill? Both?

5a385 No.34812

Nigger, a Paladin is supposed to kill evil monsters and murderers, and so are chaotic good wizards and clerics. Jesus it's hard to maintain this party. We have enough vampires and drow and globalists and so forth to last her months

35e65 No.34813

File: 1513484917496-0.jpg (209.7 KB, 750x600, a4740a6fab9a77da5f4886e241….jpg)

Both. Although in a way that won't cause drama later (combine stealth with layers of disguise). Mostly basic mugging and serial murder, but it could be directed towards NPCs who may "deserve" it.
I realized that she's spend way too much time sitting indoors doing arts and crafts and whatnot. She's Tracy: murder is her hobby. I want to own this Neutral Ebil Alignment and start killing for the sake of killing.
Now that I've been liberated from those god awful flowcharts, I can actually play Tracy.
Don't worry, she'll have time to kill those too.

5a385 No.34814

*sighing Paladin noises*
*Pulls back out Sword and Shield with Templar Sign engraven over it*

35e65 No.34815

Did he ever get a sheild?

e7ac9 No.34816

Technically, he's had one the whole time. IDK where he's keeping it though, its a tower shield

5a385 No.34817

He has the ring shield. He'll need some feats to be able to wield a tower shield alongside Vanderiem. Frankly though, I like the +3 damage I get from from wielding the sword two handed. I need all the damage modifiers I can get

5a385 No.34818

GM, I'm fascinated on what went down in the fight on the catwalk. It's exactly the sort of fight I have been thinking about and planning for and adjusting strategies for, and it's also the best use of Fae in action I've been able to do so far.

As I understand it, Tracy was holding a small-sized Trumpaladin in a complete pin, while the other characters where standing around within range to take action.

Fae charges, and using her pounce feat, makes a full round attack with bite, claw, and claw on Torcuil. Toruil's AC is sufficiently low (like a 15?) that all three attacks would have landed. I calculated damage at 37, although I see now that I mistakenly applied more than the full share of strength modifiers, and the real number should have been 29 to 30ish. I do not know Torcuil's HP, but I think it is 16d4 with no constitution or racial modifier, so about 40. If that is so, he would have lost around 75% of his HP in a single round

After Fae made her attack, Infernius attacked Fae with the scimitar. He rolled a 7, so my guess is that the attack would not have beat Fae's AC, which should be 28 assuming that Thez did not craft and fit her with a light suit of armor as requested (if yes, then a 32).Torcuil himself spent his round to try to make a concentration check to cast a spell, which seems to have failed

For reasons that will eternally puzzle me, Torcuil chose to have his familiar, the constrictor, attack the disabled and pinned Trumpaladin, rather than attack Fae, who was right there and just took down 75% of his HP.

Then the next round began, and Fae made a full round attack. It seemed like every attack landed, with the last one being a 20 and thus to be rolled again for a critical hit. That should have killed him. So if that fight went as I thought it did, Torcuil would have died in it

e7ac9 No.34819

That seems about right. I don't recall the request for armor for Fae though, I must have missed that. And where did Infernius get a scimitar from?

35e65 No.34820

Also, can this be her default Training? To practice Feats like Improved Death Attack, Great Dexterity, Sneak Attack of Opportunity or whatnot?
In the beginning, I had her throwing her kunai at walls and shit as her default "training" pass-time, but I never even considered she could learn feats from it
Also, since Tracy can use her mouth to hold weapons, is she viable for the multi-weapon fighting feat?
Use the goddamn shield.

35e65 No.34821

Snek was there to grapple Fae and keep him off Torc.
Although you deleted that.

5a385 No.34822

My guess is that Infernius meant to imply that he took Death's Scimitar and attacked with it. I believe it should have been in Torcuil's possession. Mmade he handed it to Infernius, I do not know.

Actually, I'm pretty sure he gave it back to Death. Eh. Infernius said he attacked fae with it

As for armoring Fae, can I get the equivalent of a Chain Mail Shirt (+4 AC light armor)? Preferably whatever looks best aesthetically. Are there other things you can put on a mount?

Use the freaking room in the tower that is built for this, carries zero risk, and doesn't require my character breaking off the engagement and killing yours when he eventually finds out

I asked him who snek grappled, and he said snek grappled me. Not Fae. Me

35e65 No.34823

File: 1513486159241.jpg (48.28 KB, 300x500, hide the body.jpg)

>when he eventually finds out
Tracy knows how to clean up after herself. Just don't actively go looking for it.
Anyway, there shouldn't be an NPC in Port Barry capable of out-rolling her in Disguise.
>I asked him who snek grappled
Before you b& everyone..
Also, what the AC on Tracy's armor? The slick motorcycle suit was omitted, so what's she actually wearing? I thought I ditched the hydra/skull armor in her room to preserve speed.

5a385 No.34824

Oh bullshit. Like it won't be entirely obvious who is responsible when a person is murdered every other night. This will be as secret as my sex with Trollestia

5a385 No.34825

>Just don't actively go looking for it.
He's the white knight protector of the citizens of Port Barry. Going and looking for who is killing his sheep is literally and unironically his job

e7ac9 No.34826

Yes. You can also enchant it if you'd like. Also yes, Torcuil gave the scythe back to death.
>holodeck murder
Can't it be this TF Tracy's faggot? Then you can custom design the scene. In fact, you can kill Trollestia as many times as you want without actually doing so, just by using it.
Did you? I neglected to recall if you had.

35e65 No.34827

Does he go on regular patrols? How many hours a day does he do that?

e7ac9 No.34828

Not to mention the number of poners Trump can have his way with, without hopefully offending Tracy I mean its on par with fapping

35e65 No.34829

>without actually doing so
There's little point then, but could simulating dozens of times give her a competence bonus?
Can I enchant a suit of light armor for Tracy?

35e65 No.34830

How far can Trumpaladin move with that Helmet?

35e65 No.34831


5a385 No.34832

Infernuis's Police do. That's their job. But that's not the real danger. If seven people go missing in a town of 2000 people, that's headline news. Sechs will tell trumpaladin or someone will. Or he'll overhear an unusual number of "desertions" of ship crews and figure it out, or he'll call tracy and she's out, or she'll leave behind a body, or Jesus, pick any number of things that can go wrong.

If Tracy can fucking "smell semen" off of a horse that should have it inside of her, then Infernius's Gestapo can solve a crime

35e65 No.34833

>seven people go missing in a town of 2000 people
It's a por. Most of the people shouldn't be permanent residents.

35e65 No.34834


35e65 No.34835

What do you mean?

e7ac9 No.34836

Well, for combat techniques (cuz, beating a practice dummy, even one that's got a dead guy roped to it) only live fighting will suffice. Thats why ordinarily you only get feats on a per 3 or 4 level basis, its assumed that you had developed the ability during the previous combat scenarios that led to the xp/level. What I'm saying is, I'll allow that the holodeck can simulate opponents effectively enough to develop feats, but you don't get any experience. Just go with it.
You make a valid point, especially with pirates (oh what, you thought Korak was the only one?)

5a385 No.34837

So? If more "sailors desert" than historical average, it'll be noticed. especially if you want what, to kill every other day? So like 150 per year in a town of 2000 with a few traders passing through? No way in hell that would go unnoticed. And she'd have to hide every single body perfectly. One is found by a fisherman or farmer or hunter or hooker or who knows what and it's easy to image who done it

35e65 No.34838

What exactly are the capabilities of the Gestapo? Do they have class levels or skills?

5a385 No.34839

Who knows. What are Tracy's capabilities? I don't recall you rolling for smell with the semen on Trollestia

35e65 No.34840

That's what I was going for. The docks are mostly fishermen and pirates, right? People probably disappear every day.

5a385 No.34841

It's a small town of 2000 people. Not London or New York City. It would be noticed. Quickly.

e7ac9 No.34842

>all this meta
Why you gotta know? Aren't I allowed to have secrets?
>cries and runs away slamming the door.
Kek no.
Its a local population of ~2000. There have been more and more people in and out over time, especially with all the buildings and architecture, increased commerce, not to mention the stadium - or the dog/kefka killing - and Football in particular. Port Barry is poppin' off these days.

5a385 No.34844

Nigger, the coming of Korak's ship was a big deal. I've asked repeatedly whom Port barry does business with, and you've given answers that indicate little naval traffic. You've also stated no new wares have been imported in many of the shops. No, there is not heavy traffic, and you are being inconsistent by saying it is here and not in the other times I asked. And if there were, it would still be noticed because the numbers are low enough that seven or ten or a hundred is a big number

35e65 No.34845

You don't roll for scent.
I maxed-out all of her stealth-related skills.
You don't think a nest of pirates would involve someone getting stabbed or disappearing on a weekly basis? Korak was able to run a human-trafficking business under everyone's noses.
Heck, with a good Gather Information, Disguise, and Blufff check, she could disguise herself as members of opposing pirate factions and start pirate mafia wars. That'll be interesting, and could create sufficient cover for her shenanigans.

35e65 No.34846

>it would still be noticed
She's a rogue, she could make it look like a fishing accident.

5a385 No.34847

You think a dozen plus fishing accidents wouldn't look weird? Ddo you think she'd never roll a one? No one would ever find a body with a stab wound?

5a385 No.34848

No, Korak's business was discovered by Torcuil and Trollestia within six hours of him arriving in the Harbor. Infernius has expressed an intent to use the gestapo to crush all piracy

e7ac9 No.34849

Hmmmm. You're giving me ideas.
No new wears inventory wise, and not of the quality you're talking. There's basic, unalterable swords and general equipment available, but there aren't any Ridicular the Mighty Spear of Killing Anyone no Saving Throw-type things showing up, no.
There wasn't then. Oh, look now, there it is. Deal with it.
Hey, if you can delete posts and ban people, I gotta flex my abilities ^_~

35e65 No.34850

>there is not heavy traffic
It's a port. All the supplies we ever need comes in days. There has to be heavy traffic.
I'll try my luck.
He'd been doing it for years.

5a385 No.34851

No, I asked where shit came from, and it mostly came from Drow and Jews and the like, and it's gone now

>I'll try my luck


>He'd been doing it for years

Before he met the party. He died within 24 hours of meeting the party

35e65 No.34852

Muh adventure. Muh fantasy.

5a385 No.34853

You are being unfair in applying the rules and altering them specifically to enable drama and intra-party conflict. Why

5a385 No.34854

We resolved this shit a month ago. I'm not playing that game

35e65 No.34855

He just said there's heavy traffic so it's less likely for people to notice if some worthless pirate goes missing. How does that enable drama/conflict?

e7ac9 No.34856

I'm enabling the party to choose to act in a manner that is non-conducive to successful party relations, or choose to work together and make compromises where behavior would otherwise burn this motherfucker down. I'd much prefer the latter desu.

5a385 No.34857

Alright, but this is burn the motherfucker down acting if any of the Three good aligned characters finds out. And if we've learned anything, we love to metagame, so they will find out, so Tracy's getting divorced and a bunch of far worse things.

35e65 No.34858

File: 1513488397877-0.jpg (36.71 KB, 480x320, g3C6Cc5.jpg)

>if any of the Three good aligned characters finds out
They won't. The most you could hear about is "some pirates got in a fight and stabbed each other, again".
Don't read into it too much.

e7ac9 No.34859

I agree, and thats why I am trying to compromise with the holodeck scenario.

5a385 No.34860

Bullshit. The moment Infernius and Torcuil hear "pirate" they'll go crazy because they hate pirates, launch an investigation and… low and behold, Tracy is prime suspect. She is divorced by means of a sword

35e65 No.34862

>they hate pirates
The port is full of pirates. It won't make a difference if one stabs another.

e7ac9 No.34863

>dat pic
Better not be any of the Fight Club either.

5a385 No.34864

How many pirates are there? Tell me. Give me numbers

e7ac9 No.34865

"Excuse me, we prefer the term private military, ever since that Trump fella showed up and killed off Ol' Korak."

5a385 No.34866

Now MY ears are perking! I can hire mercenaries!!!!

35e65 No.34867

>Give me numbers
Go into town for a whole day and make a Gather Info check if you want that. It'll probably just draw suspicion though.

5a385 No.34868

Nigger, you're the one who thinks he can literally get away with murder on a daily basis with no rumors starting up. You tell me this shit

e7ac9 No.34869

If meta is inevitable, don't bring it weak. You're still 150 miles away. That's no less than a 4 hour flight back, assuming you can even figure out which way to go, and the mercenaries aren't looking to do any deals with Trump to begin with.

5a385 No.34870

>Aren't looking to do any deals
But I have money. Finally.

Go retrieve the gems

e7ac9 No.34871

"Aye, and so did ol' Korak lad."

35e65 No.34872

File: 1513489188843.jpeg (62.95 KB, 800x600, download.jpeg)

Also, I'm having a hard time figuring out what kind of creature she can 1-shot with a sneak attack. Her Sneak Attack is 8d6, but actually haven't had very many chances to use it to see how lethal it is. How can determine what kind I creature (hit-dice wise) that she can kill or cripple with her first attack?

5a385 No.34873

"You were loyal to him. He's dead. Now I am here, and forgive my lack of modesty, but I'm a better businessman than he is. You'll make more under me"

If we find bandits/highwaymen while away that may count. Maybe wolves also

35e65 No.34874

File: 1513489304941-0.jpg (82.22 KB, 640x480, dd-meme-why-do-dragons-ref….jpg)

>mercenaries aren't looking to do any deals with Trump to begin with
Is that due to the code for cohorts, or do pirates just generally dislike working for Paladins?

35e65 No.34875

Who is speaking here?

5a385 No.34876

I know how to talk to Pirates

It's a hypothetical meta conversation. Nothing in game

35e65 No.34877

>If we find bandits/highwaymen while away that may count.
Idk if she can Sneak Attack while she's carrying a shiny gold paladin, desu…

e7ac9 No.34878

"You're not gettin' it lad. The fact is, our loyalty is to our skins first, and to be honest, we don't trust you."

e7ac9 No.34879

"Just some random guy who might be at a bar somewhere, and nobody else." turns back to his drink.
Just a random dialogue that might have happened at some point.

35e65 No.34880

e7ac9 No.34881

Or on fire,….

5a385 No.34882

They can dismount

Fucking Torcuil and his pet fucking things up for us

"That was Torcuil damn it! He attacked! I, by contrast, never break a convanent. I would never do as he did.

After all, you all are so much more valuable to me alive"

35e65 No.34883

Sure, but to Sneak Attack something by herself, wouldn't she have to leave him alone at a distance, which she wouldn't do..

35e65 No.34884

She can turn into a heavy warhorse too with a Control Shape check, can't she?

5a385 No.34885

They can be on either side of a road as bandits approach, Trump in the open in the front and her sneaking up on the flank

35e65 No.34886

… maybe..

Will we have time to get to any combat tomorrow?

35e65 No.34887

It's late. I'm going to bed.

5a385 No.34888

Do you mean while mounted?

e7ac9 No.34889

Technically, she just has to be behind them or striking from concealment

35e65 No.34890

I don't see why not.

35e65 No.34892

Does she need a Concentration check?

e7ac9 No.34893

Sorry, but I do. 'Night

e7ac9 No.34894

Every round?

5a385 No.34895

Am of confused

35e65 No.34896

To assume hybrid shape. Does Control Shape require a check every round?

e7ac9 No.34897

If you're mounted, which was what we agreed turns her into a cauchemar entirely, yes.

35e65 No.34898

Oh, so she has to stay in monstrous form while mounted? It doesn't just require a Control Shape check to evade involuntary transformation?
Alright then, noted for the future.
Also, to fake death, does that require a Bluff check or a perform check?

5a385 No.34899

But if she stops smoking and flaming, she just looks like a dark blue Shire plow horse in a weird amount of black leather, right?

35e65 No.34900

I'm sorry. I can't meta any longer. Passing out.

e7ac9 No.34901

Pick your poison, either one could be put to the dice.

5a385 No.34902

Why would Thez have intervened to save Torcuil, but she didn't give a shit when he shot me, and a while ago, when I asked Thez "can you please stop Torcuil from coming to kill me" she basically responded "don't be afraid of death you coward"?

35e65 No.34903

Can a player make itself appear dead with a bluff check.
I was exhausted, so I had the shitty idea to use her +19 Bluff check to play possum, since a nightmare's flames go out when it dies. It's a retarded idea. I need to sleep…
Can her glasses create an illusion that overshadows the illumination affect?

35e65 No.34904

It was a good shot.
There was little time to intervene anyway. Drawing the gun is a free action with those cuff-links.

e7ac9 No.34905

Because I told you, it didn't harm you, it just stung.
Thez is a shitposter
Sleep, I'll think on it.

5a385 No.34906

You said before that Tracy can control the smoke and flames at will right?

35e65 No.34907

Being mounted turns her into +1600 pounds of pure sex; she'd have to roll every turn to avoid involuntary transformation, like a werewolf, apparently.

35e65 No.34908

Alright, now I'm absolutely going to bed.

e7ac9 No.34909

Think of it as an involuntary response to being so close to Flashy Kun, since you keep insisting on that e_6

5a385 No.34910

>+1600 pounds of pure sex
Okay, that made me laugh for a solid minute. I remember going through the old threads and seeing "1200 pounds of pure sex" and that was hilarious as well

So can she not turn fire and smoke off while riding her?

35e65 No.34911

A psychosomatic change seems appropriate. It implies that she has the latent power to take that form, but just doesn't have any idea how to use it unless she's in the mood.
>Didn't sleep

5a385 No.34912

A Paladin's mount gives god tier buffs, so I'm going with "Elway stepped in to channel and maybe add power so she can be full form"

35e65 No.34913

You're implying that a Divegrass playing Fiend is channeling football energy? Nah, i'd say it's just that she discovers the necessary excitement to attain a complete transformation.

e7ac9 No.34914

>>34911 IKR
>>34912 This
>>34913 Both

5a385 No.34915

Hardly. Tracy is an evil of the sort that needs to be either Destroyed or in someway harnessed and controlled. Destruction was not possible or at least not desirable under the circumstances, so a creative method of harnessing is used - make her a paldin's mount, which makes full use of the Jew powers and adds in Elway powers as well

e7ac9 No.34916

Gasp! The power to harness the jew!

5a385 No.34917

File: 1513492393656.jpg (226.25 KB, 1600x900, 151025111221-trump-thumbs-….jpg)

It's a pretty Kick Ass deity

35e65 No.34918

>Jew powers
It wasn't all Jewish power. Half of that was Thez's blood too. I made a point of having her take both beakers so she would be neither lawful nor Chaotic from it (because nightmares are neutral), and instead find her create her own form of ebil.

5a385 No.34919

File: 1513492563400.gif (534.98 KB, 304x367, 7de.gif)

You mean the powers Thez got from that psycho uber-feminist? So you have jew powers and feminist powers?

35e65 No.34920


Are there any other fiends Tracy can eat? They can't all be Jewish.

35e65 No.34921

What kind of powers does feminism give you?

5a385 No.34922

Thez's devil sire was the Golden Lady, who is a bitch so feminist she could work in Hollywood. When you take Thez's demon powers, you are taking the Golden Lady's demon powers

You tell me

e7ac9 No.34923

Not all devils and fiends are feminists and jews, these ones happen to be.

35e65 No.34924

What about her was feminist? She just seemed like the kind of high-and-mighty, condescending sort of character you'd expect from a literal god.
>You tell me
*Throws him off her back*
*Sits on*
We on top nao

5a385 No.34925

My Character and Infernius had a very long conversation with Thez that you were not present for that explained the Golden Lady

Bad pony

35e65 No.34926

If she has Jew power, can she smell gold and weasle out of tipping at restaurants?
>you were not present for
Quick rundown?

*Butt obscures world*
*Tears off shoes and pants*

e7ac9 No.34927

>inb4 >rape

5a385 No.34928

"Be gentle with those damn it!"

I asked a large number of questions about why the Golden Lady paralyzed Torcuil, Infernius and I, while Tracy and Tay were ignored. The answer was something along the lines of those two responding in a particularly "feminine" form of defiance that she wanted to hear while I attempted to talk my way out and Torcuil and Infernius, while defiant, weren't defiant in quite the right way. She said that in general the golden lady is a sort of upholder of that which is feminine, I guess in the lawful evil sense

If i can call a mount I can deflate a mount right?

35e65 No.34929

It'll only be that way if he has the gall to resist, but yes.

I'm too exhausted to type it out though. Whatever happened, she sat on him the whole time.
He'd still have a 1200-1400 pound warhorse on his face, and this position could arguably count as mounted, from a psychosomatic perspective (it's all in her head, after all).

e7ac9 No.34930

Seriously though, Trump is in full plate, and Tracy is sitting on him. Its not as simple as declaring 'ripping his pants off'.
As in dismiss? No.

35e65 No.34931

She can use her jaws to tear things off, can't she?
She could at least open the armor hatch (all medieval suits of armor have one) for easy access.

5a385 No.34932

>it's all in her head, after all
No it ain't. A Paladin's mount is a gift from the deity to help him in his quest

>Whatever happened, she sat on him the whole time

Like what could she do?

I can't dismiss a mount?

e7ac9 No.34933

Yes, but there's Korak's pimp suit to contend with in that event.
Not a player mount, no

35e65 No.34934

I remember at least four verses that included having secks with horses as part of the "Quest".
… Hypothetically could the Pimp suit be repaired?

5a385 No.34935

What do I have to roll to get myself out of this? An opposed grapple check? An attack of opportunity? Can I put the helm on?

Oh don't you dare damage that pimp suit you faggot!

35e65 No.34936

She's got both his arms, torso, and head pinned under her Yuge-class butt.
..You wanted to see the feminist powers in action…
*Refrains from ripping through suit*
*Carefully unbuttons*

e7ac9 No.34937

The pimp suit exceeds anyone's current ability to modify or repair.
Technically, the whole thing is contestable since no dice have been rolled yet.

5a385 No.34938

I think she's too big for a successful 69

35e65 No.34939

Long neck, high dexterity.

5a385 No.34940

Oh well then he sure as shit better not damage it if we can't even find a tailor for it

35e65 No.34941

It can't be tailored? Wasn't it originally made to fit a Dwarf?

5a385 No.34942

GM, is >>34939 accurate and Cauchemar tracy could at once sit on a guy's torso but also suck him off?

5a385 No.34943

I would think a Paladin's mend spell could do something

35e65 No.34944

Ever seen a horse sit? She could reach.
He should focus on his part, because he's not moving until she's happy.
I thought that only worked on non-magical objects?

e7ac9 No.34945

You seriously want a ruling. Thats not a question, I'm marveling. Since you asked, I wonder if he can stick his head up innit.
You're not helping

5a385 No.34946

File: 1513495577069.gif (251.14 KB, 311x288, 1507355229015.gif)

….I don't like oral sex

That was a legit question because I have no idea

35e65 No.34947

Neither do I. This is feminism.

5a385 No.34948

No feminism! Do it the way God intended - with the semen in the horse vagina. She can be on top if she wants

e7ac9 No.34949

Logistically speaking, yes, she could reach.
I gotta crash, catch you guys later

35e65 No.34950

Alright, you sexist, bigot.
*Turns around and does whatever until her faggot recovers from hibernation, pinning him the whole time*


5a385 No.34951

*Is milked by demon horse*

35e65 No.34954

>*is sat on until passed out*
>*wakes up the next morning in camp*

35e65 No.34955

Can I get an answer to that multi-weapon fighting feat?
I want to impale targets three times at once.

e7ac9 No.34956

Yes, while it doesn't afford any additional attacks/round, it could enable a simultaneous triple-stab sneak attack.

35e65 No.34957

File: 1513529976251-0.jpg (67.69 KB, 750x600, 9c822fda313f2a6c62e8f1c75a….jpg)

File: 1513529976251-1.jpg (61.78 KB, 736x588, DFWAdRCUIAAQnhQ.jpg)

File: 1513529976251-2.jpg (45.82 KB, 750x600, sneakattack.jpg)

File: 1513529976251-3.jpg (89.43 KB, 716x960, a68a11af2ffde9777f09feb354….jpg)

File: 1513529976251-4.jpg (42.78 KB, 500x447, dd-meme-why-do-rogues-pref….jpg)

35e65 No.34958

File: 1513530156625-0.jpg (114.17 KB, 630x630, 1779339_0.jpg)

>triple-stab sneak attack
That's all I needed.
Can I make a Triple Death Attack too?

e7ac9 No.34959

As long as the victim is studied for 3 rounds before performing the 3x, the sneak attack (so damage) can also be a death attack (save or die).

35e65 No.34960

Does a Death Attack stack with a sneak attack? Do targets still take sneak attack damage if they succeed their saving throws?

e7ac9 No.34961

It can, yes. Sneak attack by its self is easier to do, but sneak/death attack is perfectly permissible.

35e65 No.34962

File: 1513530988362-0.jpg (83.38 KB, 750x600, Dnd_696697_6026462.jpg)

For the sake of range estimate, what kind of monster (hit-dice wise) can she one-shot with a good sneak attack at her level? I just want to figure out what I can hope will die on the first strike.

35e65 No.34963

File: 1513531030298-0.jpg (34.47 KB, 500x403, stealth-funny-motivational….jpg)

Wrong meme.

ade21 No.34964

A level 12 rogue can deal 6d6, or about 21 additional damage with a sneak attack. If all three strikes land, that's 63 damage. So you could kill a Torcuil, for example

35e65 No.34965

File: 1513531203043.jpg (1.36 MB, 1360x1748, bearhunting.jpg)

Also, can she go hunting in the morning during the time Trumpaladin is asleep in the cuckshed she built overnight?

ade21 No.34966

Why would Tracy have three attacks per round? A level 12 rogue only has 2 attacks per round

e7ac9 No.34967

Tracy is 1 Blackguard, 1 Assassin, and 14 Rogue yes?
Assuming all three hit it would be: [A+B+C weapon damage (including bonuses)]+45d6, in that each attack (weapon) is a separate sneak attack, gaining the 15d6 damage off the weapon's specific damage.
So lots.

046ba No.34968

tries not to get erect… fails.
where is infernuis on the list?
i do.
its in my backstory queer.
dont feel so down, this is the song i think of when it comes to tracy.
what scimitar?
i said i give an infernuis stunner (like stone cold.)
if you murder any of my men we will have an issue.

ade21 No.34969

Now where the hell do those numbers come from? The wiki says
The rogue’s attack deals extra damage any time her target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has a Dexterity bonus or not), or when the rogue flanks her target. This extra damage is 1d6 at 1st level, and it increases by 1d6 every two rogue levels thereafter. Should the rogue score a critical hit with a sneak attack, this extra damage is not multiplied.

e7ac9 No.34970

Excuse me, I used the wrong multiples. Yes, it would be 24d6, not 45d

35e65 No.34971

Ponies mouths count as hands for the purpose of holding tools.
The multi-weapon fighting feat allows for characters with three or more "hands" to hold an equal number of weapons without penalty.
I think I'll only advance her as a Rogue from now on.. I wanted Aura of Despair, but I think she'll be better off getting to ebin level first, so she can get one of those ebin bonus feats.
She'll only murder pirates who cause trouble, alright? She won't touch anyone who might be missed.
>where is Infernuis on the list?
not telling (also, I threw away the key to the point system)I really like your character though
How much damage is that per turn?

35e65 No.34972

Like what kind of game is there in the forest?

35e65 No.34973

What's Trumpaladin's base attack bonus?

e7ac9 No.34974

That would depend on the weapons used (must be piercing), but its that's an increased damage of + 24<x<144 over the modified damage all the combined weapons,… so yeah, murder.
There's game. You can hunt if you want, but I'm not gonna do full combat for it. Roll a survival check to catch something.

ade21 No.34975

16 11 6 1

ade21 No.34976

I think you're including the assassin and blackguard levels into it, when only the rogue levels count. It should be 7d6 per attack that lands, for 21d6 if all three land. Also, does she have 12 ranks in rogue and 3 in blackguard or 14 ranks in rogue and 1 in black guard?

35e65 No.34977

Dice rollRolled 11 + 19

*duct-tapes snoring Trumpaladin to back*
Rolling survival
Is the cumulative the "base"? Or is it just 16 as the base?

e7ac9 No.34978

No, assassin also gets sneak damage dice, which expressly stack with rogue sneak.
That's my one question. I don't remember which.

35e65 No.34979

Dice rollRolled 10 + 20

Also, Move Silently, so he doesn't wake up.

e7ac9 No.34980

16 is the base, and each additional attack gets 5 less for bonus

35e65 No.34981

Now I'm confused too..

35e65 No.34982

Epic prestige classes like Divine Emissary require a 23 base attack bonus. How does one attain that if their attack bonus doesn't increase after 20th level?

e7ac9 No.34983

Epic BAB increases by 1 every 2 levels.

ade21 No.34984

File: 1513532854375.png (47.72 KB, 246x250, image.png)

>Is the least liked character here
*sad blackguard noises…*

e7ac9 No.34985

That's not true, the least-liked character has been starving for days in a body-cast.

046ba No.34986

i want to be a divine emissary.

35e65 No.34987

I want to figure this out, so I can decide weather or not to advance as a Rogue to become a Perfect Wight, or as a Blackguard/Assassin to get other cool stuff.
So, a paladin/Cleric/blackguard would have to be level 26 to become a Divine Emissary?
Get weapon focus in that Fash-axe. You get automatic proficiency in it since Hitler is a war god, not to mention that Minotaur's also get proficiency in battleaxes.

ade21 No.34988

*wakes up and starts tearing the shit off of him to get off the horse's back*

046ba No.34989

how long would it take to get weapon focus in the training room??

e7ac9 No.34990

Without knowing the level distribution, that sounds about right
All in good time. While Tracy is catching boars (its boars btw), did you want to continue trolling Darkie?

e7ac9 No.34991

About a week, game-time

046ba No.34992

yes i do.
i bring him his soup.

046ba No.34993

35e65 No.34994

File: 1513533580334-0.jpg (101.43 KB, 600x630, adolf-hitler[1].jpg)

Also, you'd have to complete some great mission/feat/quest in the name of Hitler to earn the class as your deity's favorite champion.
I suggest gassing the kikes (for real this time).

e7ac9 No.34995

Thanks for the reminder. Also, if Infernius does a stunner, wouldn't it also be kind of like a gore, since he's got a horn?

046ba No.34996

oh i can't be one then.

046ba No.34997

yea that's what i was thinking.

ade21 No.34998

How can he do a "stunner"?

ade21 No.35000

Trump is free

ade21 No.35001

Trumpaladin frees himself of the devil horse

e7ac9 No.35002


046ba No.35003

35e65 No.35004

What's the clearest path for Tracy to become a Perfect Wight?
No staph. he was were supposed to wake up in the cuckshed to the smell of bacon. Don't ruin muh scene.
The duct-tape is fucking inescapeable anyway, so better off snoozing until she finishes cooking breakfast.
Why? It's still 7 levels away until he has the attack bonus.

35e65 No.35005

Stunning Fist (if that's what you meant) requires a selected feat, unless you're a Monk.

046ba No.35006

i would have to get hitlers attention.

ade21 No.35007

why does she take him though? To prevent him from escaping if he wakes up?

046ba No.35008

94dd4 No.35009

>Torc's faggot dies from exhaustion

e7ac9 No.35010

I don't think he was going for the stunning strike, it was just a meme-reference
Yeah about that duct tape,…
>clearest path
I don't know, and it would take me time to figure out
Still on about that are you? How many times have you heiled?
Exhaustion? o_O

046ba No.35011

a lot.

35e65 No.35012

File: 1513534580712-0.jpg (286.6 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

Dice rollRolled 8

*lays sleeping husbando in cuckshed*
*roasts boar*
Rolling to buck tree for an apple or something to put in its mouth.
She has more ranks in survival while he's touching her.
Would he have tried to escape? If so,

Did you consider putting more ranks into Knowledge-Religion? You could probably discover the quest yourself if you studies the holy book.

e7ac9 No.35013

I don't recall much heiling,….

046ba No.35014

yea i have 10 ranks in it.

35e65 No.35015

Actually, could they have also made some non-magical duct tape for day-to-day utility, using regular glue? Sovereign Duct tape is for more extreme issues, like holding dams together in an earthquake…

94dd4 No.35016

Choirs are exhausting man

So what have I missed?

5a385 No.35017

Alas poor Torcuil's Faggot, we hardly knew ye

>How many times have you heiled?
This. Trumpaladin is one of the shittiest paladins in the history of Paladins, but Elway is at least getting a return on his investment. He built a stadium, mentions football in every public speech which is often, goes to games, and is well on his way to expanding the franchise to a second city

Kek, that's resourceful at least

35e65 No.35018

Try rolling a knowledge check to find out your lord's mission for you.
Is a Cleric answering his lord's ambition an easy, basic, or tough question DC?

e7ac9 No.35019

Kek, that they are
Well, Tracy is roasting a boar in unknown place #7, Torcuil and Thez are still on a beach finding their bearings, Infernius is still trolling Darkie, and I'm free for the day, so can actually do stuff.
"I don't suppose you know how to Teleport?" Thez asks.
Duct tape is magic tho.

5a385 No.35020

>Is finding out the purpose God has set for you an easy or difficult question

>Duct tape is magic tho
This. Wait. Can we manufacture it and sell it?

e7ac9 No.35021

Sure, Sparintenar would love that shit, especially if its camo'd.

046ba No.35022

*wipes away tears*
sieg heil! sieg heil! sieg heil!

94dd4 No.35023

"Yeah, I can teleport. To the tower I assume?"

35e65 No.35024

Try walking througfh town and healing the poor or other kinds of charity. From logs I've read, it's normal for Clerics and Paladns to get swamped with poor people begging for healing wherever they go. Charity/sacrifice earns them Good Boi Points.
Well, a Cleric should at least have a good hunch about what his god wants him to do, maybe he can get a bonus for Reading the whole Mein Kampf 6 gorillion times (also, Read Magick spell + Divination).

94dd4 No.35025

Deutschland Deuschland über alles!

5a385 No.35026

That reminds me, we can charge for medical services. I think we can also sell use of the entertron to people far away who have someone they want resurrected

046ba No.35027

Möge das deutsche Volk für immer regieren!

046ba No.35028

so have i made it to the drow with his soup yet?

94dd4 No.35029

Can they get tendies with good boi points?

35e65 No.35030

*wafts bacon*
*lays beside husbando*

>Paladin charging money for the needy to use his Law on Hands ability.

Don't be a Jew, Anon.

046ba No.35031


e7ac9 No.35032

"Unless you're keen on exploring. Gimme a sec." <whoooof>
It suddenly occurs to Infernius that there is no possible way that the party could have eliminated all the (((rats))). Knowing how they work and operate, they are sure to have multiple bases of operation, and be inter-connected across the map.
<whoooof> "…left the goddamn glider-wings in the Court City. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh well," she ports in mid-rant.
"There's several settlements and smaller cities to the north, and a few larger cities to the west. I don't recognize any of them, but if you want to gather information we can do that, but I'd just as soon get back. I had an idea for the Fight Club, especially with the potential for liches and vampires from the Court,"
Uh, unless you stopped on the way. "Not to be cheeky, but how am I to eat it?"

35e65 No.35033

For Clerics, I guess you'd need a certain number to get good effects from Spells like Planar Ally. Also, their Holy scripture probably has it's own requirements for charity.
Paladins are (normally) required to do everything they can to help those in need, so long as it doesn't require performing ebil acts to do so.

5a385 No.35034

>Wakes up
>Wonders if it was all just a bad dream
>Demon Horse is there
>Nope, it's real
>She's at least pretending to be nice, so there's that
"Hey Tracy"
*pets horsey or pony as appropriate*
"D'aww, you made me breakfast? That's so sweet"
*inspects bacon for authenticity*

046ba No.35035

can you describe the way the cast is made around his head?

35e65 No.35036

File: 1513536482513-0.png (216.47 KB, 1000x800, 385624__suggestive_artist-….png)

"Good morning, Flashy."

e7ac9 No.35037

I was absent during the casting (I wanted to leave his head in a bucket, remember? Xp) but I would assume it would fully encapsulate his body from the neck down.

5a385 No.35038

*pets pony*
"Good morning Tracy"
*removes knife from pony mouth*
*inserts tongue into pony mouth*

94dd4 No.35039

"Is there a way I could leave a… a…
Ah fuck what was it called…"
Torc paces a bit before remembering
"Ah yes, a waypoint here so I could teleport back if I wanted? Either way I'm ready to head back."

046ba No.35040

"me feed you."

35e65 No.35041

>only the neck down
Does it impair his Concentration? Otherwise, couldn't he just use the Alter Self spell and an Escape Artist check to turn into a viper and slip out?

e7ac9 No.35042

"You don't need to waypoint this location. Now that you're aware of it, you can teleport here at will. I'm rdy to go."
Alter self requires movement and gestures to cast, even as an assassin; not an option.
"As undignifying as it is, I'll take it."

046ba No.35043

"say aah."

35e65 No.35044

*takes knife back*
*cuts into pork and serves it*
"Are you ready to go on an adventure today, ~Flashy?"
This is news to me, what does Tracy need to do for her spells? It doesn't require some ninja hand-sign, does it?
>tfw no fingers

e7ac9 No.35045


5a385 No.35046

D'aww. Has breakfast with pony

"I have things I need to do, but sure. What do you have in mind?"

046ba No.35047

"open mouth or me cant feed."

94dd4 No.35048

"Ah okay"
Torc teleport to the tower

e7ac9 No.35049

Depends on the spell. Alter self requires verbal and somatic (body movement) to cast. Each spell has particular requirements (materials negated)
"Oh fine, AHHH," he says with a bit of spite.
Where in the tower?

046ba No.35050

*makes sure to get all of the vegetables in the spoon.*

94dd4 No.35051

Main lobby

e7ac9 No.35052

K. Torcuil and Thez <POP> back to the tower. Distantly, they hear a very irritated "AHHHH".

046ba No.35053


35e65 No.35054

"It irks me to let those targets get away… What do you say we investigate the area and see where they went today?"

94dd4 No.35055

"Now what the hell is he doing?"
Torc heads to the room where the voice came from

5a385 No.35056

"Do you mean in the Ethereal realm? I personally am just fine to be the target that got away"

35e65 No.35057

"There were several Ebil auras, don't you think we should investigate?"
Also, I'm starving for XP.

e7ac9 No.35058

Torcuil arrives and Thez <whoooof> appears to see Infernius about to spoon-feed Darkie, who's got his mouth open like,… well like a hospital patient in a body cast.

94dd4 No.35059

"Uhhh, Infernius, what are you doing?

046ba No.35060

"hey ana, darkie was hungry."

e7ac9 No.35061

"Uh yeah, I thought we were starving him. Have you tried interrogating him first?"

94dd4 No.35062

"We where leaving him in solitary containment!
Trust me, its effective…"

046ba No.35063

"no but he might be more inclined to talk if we feed him."

e7ac9 No.35064

"I know, that's why not being solitary and feeding him baffles me."
"This! Bloody hell, don't stop, please. I'll tell you what I know! Ahhhhh!" he says much more graciously, hoping Infernius will continue.

94dd4 No.35065

Torc considers punching Darkie in the face

046ba No.35066

*continues feeding*
"here comes the luftwaffe."

5a385 No.35067

"If while wondering through the mountains here we stumble upon a Great Wyern Red Dragon, we can teleport out, you can jaunt, and we can run like hell. What happens if we encounter something too strong to kill in the Ethereal realm? Does it have a way to follow us if we juant? Is it faster than us? We can't teleport. You can't hide or do sneak attacks. I can't dismount and do flank attacks. If we die on the material plane, Thez can get out stuff. If we die on the Ethereal plane, it's gone forver. And our souls may even be taken.

You tell me just precisely what those things are, how you are sure they won't kill us, and how you plan to kill them, then maybe we'll go."

35e65 No.35068

>fast forwarding a bit to finish breakfast and get the show on the road
>*slices out large, generous portion of the porkbelly for Trumpaladin*
>[hungry hoers noises]
>*ferociously into the remains of the carcass and eats as ferociously as a pregnant monster-hoers would* (says something about cravings)
*munch* "I've always been so fucking hungry these past few months..!"*munch*
>*looks at body, ribs no-longer exposed*
"…and I've been putting on a lot of weight too…" *munch*

e7ac9 No.35069

Okay, now Thez is embarrassed for him, but mutters "I hope the Tower surveillance system is getting all this, for blackmail purposes."
>we can teleport out"
Um, how exactly?

35e65 No.35070

>If we die on the Ethereal plane, it's gone forver.
Her Etherealness would end as soon as she's incapacitated.
"I'm not afraid, Flashy. I'm confident if we're together."
[affectionate hoers noises]
>Tower surveillance system

5a385 No.35071

35e65 No.35072

>how exactly
Doesn't he have a Helm of Teleportation?
Pls gib bootz for Sneak Attacks. They're more useful on her.

046ba No.35073

*infernuis turns his head in such a way that darkie cant see and flashes the biggest smile to thez then goes back to regular infernuis expression and continues feeding him*

94dd4 No.35074

>stuka noises

5a385 No.35075

GM explicitly said we'd both get killed and we would have lost our equipment if we got too close to those who-knows-whats. What more do you want?
"Why though? If we kill bandits here we make it safer for travelers and can take the loot. If we kill a dragon we can take a hell of a lot of loot. If we locate a city we can add a trading partner, and I have been meaning to find a source of iron so we can send it to Krenshall. The material realm gives us much more to gain and is a hell of a lot less risky"

35e65 No.35076

Bandits probably aren't ebil, let alone ebil enough to have auras.
"What bandits?Are you saying you just want to make our way home on hoof, Flashy?"
She never implied she want to be ethereal again, btw.

e7ac9 No.35077

Helm of Flash-Step (quickened Dimension Door, range limit 100')
This. Etherealness doesn't end when incapacitated

35e65 No.35078

>Etherealness doesn't end when incapacitated
Oh. Good to know then.

35e65 No.35079

She'll go wherever he wants to; just decide where to go so we can get to the exploring/combat/whatever.

5a385 No.35080

"Why don't we follow that footpath to the base of the mountain?"

e7ac9 No.35081

"You uh,… seem to,… know? what you're doing, so I'll be back," she says with a <whoooof>.

35e65 No.35082

"That's fine by me, ~Flashy."
*buries bones, stamps out fire, and tramples cuckshed*
>a few minutes later
They're on the road.

35e65 No.35083

Dice rollRolled 16 + 21

*follows path to the base of the mountain*
Rolling to Spot any nearby creatures

5a385 No.35084

Spot Check
Detect Evil

"I've got a bad feeling about the point where the trail meets the mountain. Seems like an ambush or drop off point. Same with where the trail meets the forest."

35e65 No.35085

Dice rollRolled 15 + 21

Listen check as well

5a385 No.35086

Dice rollRolled 2

forgot to roll for the spot

35e65 No.35087

Dice rollRolled 14 + 20

And Search, to inspect the path ahead for anything peculiar

35e65 No.35088

Detect Good, because why not.

94dd4 No.35089

Why even fucking roll with those bonuses?
and how do I calculate character bonuses

046ba No.35090

"panzers inbound!"

35e65 No.35091

"Yeah.. If I were setting up an ambush, this would be where I'd do it…"
>on guard, but still moving quickly down the path, keeping a close eye* (tfw eyes on both sides of the head to detect predators) on the forest on either side of the path

e7ac9 No.35092

The area outside the path is full of thick undergrowth, making movement more difficult (1/4 speed, without incurring penalties). There are some gradually increasing slopes further on, and the area has sparse trees.
So Tracy is basically in "gimme something to kill" mode?

5a385 No.35093

Dice rollRolled 13

Same here

Trumpaladin does a search check, looking for broken limbs, and any big gashes and disruptions in the ground, grass or mud

For the most part, I think good aligned creatures will not be inclined to ambush us. Although Tracy might look like a good target. They may be confused as fuck by the Paladin riding the fiend though

35e65 No.35094

>So Tracy is basically in "gimme something to kill" mode?

94dd4 No.35095

Dice rollRolled 6

Panzerkampfwagen? Panther? Tiger? Stug III?

Rolling for a sidequest cause bored

5a385 No.35096

So is the path clear, and is the flora basically brush?

I think that's mostly to prevent ambush

35e65 No.35097

Dice rollRolled 2 + 10

*uses glasses of Disguise*
Disguise Check to appear less monstrous

35e65 No.35098

046ba No.35099

ze king tiger.

5a385 No.35100

Just proceed down the path and spam spot and what have you checks

Ddo you want to follow the path to wherever it leads (back into the woods) or do you want to go into the mountains?

35e65 No.35101

Dice rollRolled 2 + 19

Roll a Bluff too, because it's higher rank

35e65 No.35102

He's the one steering. Either is fine.

e7ac9 No.35103

Dice rollRolled 4 + 4

What manner of bonuses? Skills?
>all these spam-checks

046ba No.35104

"so where are you're friends?"

046ba No.35105

detect lies

5a385 No.35106

Well here's the thing. If you look at the map, there is a city on the other side of the mountains. There's also one a bit to the Northeast past the forest. Mountains also are home to dragons, although not all dragons are small enough to not run like hell from. The path, however, likely leads back to something sentient somewhere, my bet is a village. I have no idea if diplomacy will do well or not

5a385 No.35107

Proceed further down path approaching the base of the mountain

94dd4 No.35108

Ah, Tiger II
Have fun with that engine transmission
Like the stat based bonuses

046ba No.35109

nah i changed production to the Maus

35e65 No.35110

Tracy doesn't actually care what she's doing, as long as she can do things with her husband.
The village seems like the more reasonable venture desu,.just because the characters wouldn't think of venturing at a length attack dragons in their own territory when they don't even know they're there.
>Forgetting that dragons live in other places too

e7ac9 No.35112

"Friends? You don't know how drow work do you? Our partnership was based on mutual self-interest, not some particular alliegence to one another." True
I'm still not sure what you mean. Stat (str, dex, etc.) bonuses are +1 for every 2 points above 10 (+1 at 12, +2 at 14, etc.). For skills, each skill pertains to a stat (dex for tumbling, for example) and applies any modifier from it to the check, above the skill level the character has.
Oh make up your mind,…. Do you want to kill things or not? Random encounters are the worst, but I've already done up a thing.

35e65 No.35113

I want to kill shit. I'll take the risk.

35e65 No.35114

Darkie could use a Friendship lesson from Twilight.

046ba No.35115

"ok Do you know you're they are?"

046ba No.35116

or…… tracy?

35e65 No.35117

… Perhaps…?

94dd4 No.35118

Have fun crossing bridges
The stats, thats exactly what I was looking for. Thx m8

5a385 No.35119

I'm just thinking about what I would want to see if I were there. There are so many trees - it's like every square inch of the American South from San Antonio to Savannah that isn't walmarts or swamps is pine trees, so I've seen enough, whereas the mountains of Greece and Costa Rica and West Virginia - seen in passing - are beautiful.


5a385 No.35120

GM, what is my constitution score?

35e65 No.35121

She'll go wherever she's steered.

046ba No.35122

you are both rouges so there is some common ground.

5a385 No.35123

Uh… further down the path? Let's just see if anything finds us at the mountain

e7ac9 No.35124

You wanna try that again? o_o
Alright. Tracy can hear the sound of movement somewhat far off, along the patches of woods that separate the path from the mountain, but can't see anything yet. There's a good number of them.
(sorry, lagging, gonna reboot)

046ba No.35125

kek brain fart. infernuis said that in character though.

5a385 No.35126

Detect evil and spot check, which Trumpaladin would be doing regardless

35e65 No.35127

Dice rollRolled 10 + 19

*slows down and veers off to the brush on the opposing side, observing the situation*
"… Something's there."
She draws her cane, looses her chain and approaches more slowly.
Sense Motive to figure out if they've been spotted spotted yet.

35e65 No.35128

Or more importantly, if they're approaching.

046ba No.35129

"Do you know where they are?"

5a385 No.35130

Dice rollRolled 7

Dismounted or no?

Trumpaladin draws the Bees and draws Vanderiem
Spot check
Detect evil

My guess is no

35e65 No.35131

She's been mounted the whole time.

e7ac9 No.35132

A good number of faint evil signatures. And squawking.
Clinkety clink
"No. The spellcaster had a pocket dimension we would disembark from and return to, connecting wherever we were (which was always a different locale) to wherever we were operating in." True

046ba No.35133

"what is your name and what are there names?"

35e65 No.35134

Tracy turns towards the squawking, confused but curious.

5a385 No.35135

File: 1513543048953.png (630.67 KB, 1125x1000, 1512638779170.png)

*shrugs at horsey*
>"Evil robot birds?"

35e65 No.35136

"What's a robot? They could be summons. Be on guard. They've spotted us."

e7ac9 No.35137

Not spotted, but chains aren't exactly quiet
The sounds of footsteps, lots of them, start approaching.
"I, as you know, am Darkemter Vrees. Their names are unknown to me, we used false names for business reasons." True

5a385 No.35138

Detect evil, looking to see if larger signatures are approaching. Ready Full round attack with Vanderiem when an evil-scented entity gets in range of the sword

>"We killed robots that came to attack Thez, remember? What do you think summoned them?"

046ba No.35139

"who do you work for? call i call you vrees?"

35e65 No.35140

Dice rollRolled 13 + 21

May as well make a Spot check to see what's coming.
Tracy puts her chain away and retreats to the side of the road for cover, still observing.
>we killed
They mostly just watched, desu.

35e65 No.35141

Dice rollRolled 14

Rolling to Hide.

5a385 No.35142

Dice rollRolled 10

>"If these things have a master, do you want to remain at range and draw off the summoned creatures, killing or do you want to attack the master directly?"

Trumpaladin tries to be stealthyish
Rolling I guess

35e65 No.35143

She'll decide when she knows what's going on.

e7ac9 No.35144

"You can call me Susan if you like. My contemporaries called me Darkie, for the double-entendre. We didn't have a client, we simply stole from whoever was slipping on their game. Incidentally, you can have the most magical lock in the world, and it doesn't do a bit of good if the walls are unsecured." True True True.
Nothing larger, but there's about 8 of them and they're approaching.
Good move

94dd4 No.35145

>Torc has nothing to do
"Susan, if you could talk to a spellcaster, do you think you could provide enough information to get us to this pocket dimension?"

046ba No.35146

"are you all darkelfs? im guessing no. how do you secure the walls?"

5a385 No.35147

These things have a "feint" evil aura as you say? What's the aura on these?

>"looks like just these eight. If possible, let them pass through then we kill them. If they are small enough, we may be able to dismount and kill them faster, but I do not know"

35e65 No.35148

>dismount and kill them fast
"Faint" should be 10 or less hit dice, for monsters.

e7ac9 No.35149

"He wouldn't respond, they are certain to know I've been captured by this point." T
"Yes, all dark-elves." T
>What's the aura
Uhm,… aside from the obviously already answered question, I don't know where you're going with it. There's 8 faint auras approaching.

35e65 No.35150

"I need to see them first".

94dd4 No.35151

"No, not him. I meant another magic user. Could you provide the information?"

046ba No.35152

"how do you secure the walls?"

5a385 No.35153

We're looking at about 55 HP or lower then, so a good chance each one can be killed in a single round of attacks, but a reasonable chance they would need both characters to finish them in a single round, and also a chance to cleave. What spells do you want?

35e65 No.35154

File: 1513544433850.jpg (33.5 KB, 400x267, glow-in-the-dark-eyes16325….JPG)

*lurks in shadows, waiting for entities to come by*
It legitimately matters what comes by and what they do.
She's got Dark Blessing, so eagles Splendor helps with the defensive.

e7ac9 No.35155

"You're asking me? I'm the sneaky ninja, what do I know about the technicalities of magic?" True
See above
"I don't know what does it, but I do know that unmagical brick walls aren't it." True
Before long a large creature standing on four stilt-like legs emerges from behind some trees about 40' off, from behind a dip in the landscape. It has a birdlike body, round and plump, and its body is about the size of a small pony, balanced atop its legs. Feathers that range in color from brown to red cover its body, its legs end in terrible claws while a glistening beak shines like burnished metal.

94dd4 No.35156

"Fair enough"

046ba No.35157

"where are you from?"

e7ac9 No.35158

File: 1513544567543.jpg (108.8 KB, 400x481, MM35_PG9.jpg)

I always forget the pic,….

5a385 No.35159

Trumpaladin does a spot or search or whatever. Is the creature organic or a construct?

94dd4 No.35160

What the actual fuck?

046ba No.35161

what the fuck?

35e65 No.35162

I think I know what that is.
Tracy doesn't move, but takes a deep breath and braces for a charge once she sees the other.
Knew it.
It's an achaierai. Lawful Ebil. They're intelligent.

5a385 No.35163

I know right. It's like it could be from the Australian Outback

046ba No.35164

fucking this.

94dd4 No.35165

Or Florida

e7ac9 No.35166

"What do you want, a biography? I'm from another world, same as you lot I'd wager. In fact, this Tower is just as much mine as it is yours."
Shush, that's a Trump/Tracy thing
No, she doesn't she's never seen anything like it o\_/o

5a385 No.35167

Jesus Tracy's Faggot, if you know what things are ahead of time, then fucking say it. that, or stop claiming you know.

35e65 No.35168

Intelligent the same way a 'normal' nightmare is, rather.
"Are we hunting today, Flashy?"
I know she doesn't. She thinks she sees a big bird-thing. She only knows she's seen a tasty-looking fiend.

94dd4 No.35169

Its still weird as fuck
"What do you mean 'just as much mine?'"

5a385 No.35170

>"It's Evil, so on the list. It's not a robot, so it's probably not a sentry for some more evil empire. Unless you think we can talk to them and get something valuable from the encounter, then yeah, let's kill them. Let me know if you want bull's strength first though"

046ba No.35171

"not anymore. you lost all Your rights once you stole from us. maybe you some get some back if you help us find your companions."

e7ac9 No.35172

"I mean, you folks aren't the only players who found yourselves here in this facility after dying gruesome deaths."
This is exactly the type of meta that really kills it. If you "know", keep it to yourself. It doesn't help, since none of that is known to your character.

94dd4 No.35173

File: 1513545283427.jpg (17.53 KB, 236x315, Achaierai.JPG)

I like this picture of an Achaierai for some reason
Torc stares for a minute before shaking his head
"We're getting off topic. Is there anyway to accsess this dimension without the Spellcaster. A door of sorts?"

35e65 No.35174

[frisky nightmare noises]
*kicks the earth softly*
"… Do they even talk?"
Also, do Eagle's splendor instead.
Noted. I won't spoil shit in the future. I actually regretted that as soon as I posted.

35e65 No.35175

It's kind of cute, desu.

046ba No.35176

e7ac9 No.35177

Dice rollRolled 1, 5 = 6

"No, he had a device that allows access, but its still in his possession. Without it, I don't know how to get 'there'." True
No, they're squawking, not talking.
Trump and Tracy both see the lead one

e7ac9 No.35178

… but its totally oblivious to their location for the moment

5a385 No.35179

Are they magical? Because if not, what do we both need savings throw bonuses for? Bull's strength will add plus two to each one of my attacks and +3 to each one of my damage rolls. Probably the same with you. That's a hell of a lot of damage we'd be forgoing

35e65 No.35180

"I'm ready for whatever you are, Flashy."
Also, make the decision yourself. She's the cohort. The only reason she hasn't charged recklessly is because she's waiting for a signal/strategy/order from her husbando. She's in hunting mode, but she's behaving.

35e65 No.35181

It doesn't matter, just take the initiative and tell her what to do via your character's knowledge.

94dd4 No.35182

Like some fat songbird with 4 legs
"Describe this device, if you can"

e7ac9 No.35183

GM facepalms. This went from an unknown random encounter to a meta-haxx kill it the best way. Trump see's a weird-ass bird, out of range for a surprise attack.

5a385 No.35184

Casts bulls strength on self and tracy
Wait a beat
Ready an full round attack on bird further away than the first, and order Tracy to charge

e7ac9 No.35185

"It was a collapse-able platform, that could be quickly placed or removed allowing access to the pocket. I don't know how it worked." True

5a385 No.35186

>Out of range for a surprise attack
Then i have time to get Vanderiem drunk

e7ac9 No.35187

This is why random encounters are gay, cuz players always "know stuff"
You're carrying booze? I recall no acquisition of booze,….

046ba No.35188

35e65 No.35189

[frisky nightmare noises]
"D-do we charge, Flashy? They're ebil r-right? I can stab them? Let me stab something..!"
Gib dialogue, faggot
Is that an order to charge or to kill?
No you don't.

5a385 No.35190

I acquired three bottles from the kitchen of grain alcohol before leaving to go somewhere, I think it was before leaving to Krenshall

94dd4 No.35191

"Did he have a name for it?"
Torc stands up and acts like he's getting ready to leave
I had to ask how stats affect rolls, do you think I know shit?

5a385 No.35192

File: 1513546058662.jpeg (42.68 KB, 559x465, 1510091912910.jpeg)

>"Charge them. Stab them. Get me closer. I want to hit it with my sword"

35e65 No.35193

Dice rollRolled 11, 2, 12 = 25

You don't need it.

Fug it, I don't care what I "know".
Tracy loses her patience and makes a flying leap over the birds, frenzied to stab something. She blows smoke ahead as she goes.
"Wish granted!"
Rolling for a ride-by attack on the nearest bird.

e7ac9 No.35194

GM suspects Trump is playing on his laziness and unwillingness to pour through previous logs
e_e Fine, Trump pops a flask, or skin, or whatever he's keeping this alcohol in, and offers it to Vandereim. "Now you're talking lad!" he says.
"Squawk? SQUAWK!"
"Squawk!" "Squawk, squawk!"
"No, it was just a device. What it was called wasn't ever relevant." True
>know shit
I wasn't talking about you.
The lead bird starts charging toward the sound, detecting Trump in the process. Since Trump is readied, he has opportunity.
Hit, miss, miss.

5a385 No.35195

Dice rollRolled 7, 16, 10, 12 = 45

Trumpaladin's readied attack would be triggered when he gets in range of a bird. He tries to aim for a different bird than Tracy if in range, and the same if not

e7ac9 No.35196

Three more birds crest the incline the previous one came from, with the sound of more emanating from behind them.
The only one Tracy has the chance to attack is the lead one, which is charging toward Trump

5a385 No.35197

If Trump does not have Thez's girdle then the bonuses are +26 +21 +16 +11 with bull's strength and drunkenness cancelling each other out

5a385 No.35199

Dice rollRolled 8, 13, 1, 10 = 32

Roll again? Okay. See >>35197 (You) which I think is accurate as to attack bonuses

35e65 No.35200

It doesn't freaking matter, just Smite! You've gotr Spirited charge with these shoes, you could knock-out just about anything with a mounted melee.
Make it a ride-by attack.

e7ac9 No.35201

As the lead bird runs toward Trump, Tracy breaks from concealment and makes a ahem ride-by attack
Too late. Tracy is already committed, as is Trump.

5a385 No.35202

>Spirited charge with these shoes, you could knock-out just about anything with a mounted melee

Ride by sure, Just he slashes

We're mounted and never dismounted

94dd4 No.35203

"Eh fair enough"
Torc throws his snek down, transfoming it into Mr. Snek. He talks to Mr. Snek a bit, then stands back up.
"Okay, thank you Susan. You have been quite helpful. Infernius, if he mentions anything else please send a message with Mr. Snek."
Mr. Snek: *tounge flick*
Torc heads to the library

e7ac9 No.35204

Dice rollRolled 3

Tracy's damage (without str and other modifiers for damage)
Gashing the bird as it runs toward Trump, he gets a single attack of opportunity before this turns into an initiative-based melee.
You do realize that voids all the stealth and shit right?

5a385 No.35205

Dice rollRolled 4

Make attack

5a385 No.35206

I don't know how all of these billions of game mechanics work. I just know that when I asked if I was dismounted or not, Tracy's faggot said no

35e65 No.35207

>not Smiting
It's too late now.

5a385 No.35208

I've been conservative because I only have 4 smite evils… maybe that should have been one of them
>"Am I fucked? I do not know"

e7ac9 No.35209

Why are you asking Tracy if Trump dismounted or not? My impression was that he did, since Tracy wanted to hide, since otherwise hiding while mounted would have required a bunch of checks that I see none of.
This requires a serious re-iteration of "what happened". Next time this happens, someone is getting nerfed.

5a385 No.35210

File: 1513547458734.png (255.79 KB, 1116x1024, 1513041690596.png)

So what happens next?

35e65 No.35211

Well, it seems we fighting on the ground now, so it's assumed that he dismounted.
If not already, Tracy grows to full size and begins filling the area with smoke.
She activates her robe for increased concealment.
Get ready to defend yourself.
Did you bother to put any ranks into Ride?

e7ac9 No.35212

Dice rollRolled 1, 6, 8 = 15

Dice rollRolled 4

For continuity's sake, I'm going with the Tracy dash attack, followed by the Trump opportunity attack. Trump's attack lands, dice plus modifiers,… which kills it. As it runs up on Trump, he slices vigorously into its body, and it goes falls skidding to the ground in a heap. Three more are visible, and others aren't far behind. Initiative roll Trump, Tracy, Birds.

5a385 No.35213

Look, D&D has nine billion different rules. I cannot learn all of these while also needing to study anti-trust law copy-right law professional ethics US naturalization law adminsitrative law relation-back rules in civil procedure while dealing with a laptop that breaks and the daily need to get food. So I do not know all of the rules by heart. I've studied up on the ones that generally apply to my character. Hiding is not one of those things that normally apply to mine. And while mounted combat applies to mine, I have npt studied it very hard. Tracy's faggot knows hiding. He knows mounted combat. Hence, I asked him if under x circumstance it would be necessary to mount or dismount.

Glad it dies

35e65 No.35214

Alright, I'm sorry if I misled you.
Let's just finish the encounter.

Tracy is in hunting mode, on orders to finish off these creatures, but she tenses at seeing her husband attacked, and instinctively steps back a bit, looking concerned.
"F-Flashy, are you alright?!"

e7ac9 No.35215

The 3 lead birds move more into view and 2 of them squawk while another charges. Another four fill in behind them.
Initial distance is ~40', so no one is range of attack. Movement/support/technical actions only.
I know, and I appreciate your position. I'm trying to make combat as fluid and seamless as possible. It worked right up until the "Trump is still mounted" bit, which made the previous impossible, so I'm line-item-vetoing it. Trump has last move in this situation, and the birds have already moved. Tracy has action, but she's not in range to attack.

5a385 No.35216

>"I'm super, sweetie"

e7ac9 No.35217

He never got attacked, it died at his feet. There's still 7 of them, and Tracy can attempt to hide again, or she could engage, use an ability, move/position, or something I've omitted.

5a385 No.35218

Fuck it.
"Want to be ridden pony?"

e7ac9 No.35219

The birds are essentially in a triangle formation, with 4 at the back, 2 at the middle, and one charging.

35e65 No.35220

Tracy looses her chain and gets ready to attack the birds as soon as the come in range, blowing smoke and activating her cloak.
That's not what she would've thought though. She only saw a monster running at her husband; she didn't care if it landed or not.
She turns to the side and puts her body between Trumpaladin and the and the birds.

5a385 No.35221

Trumpaladin mounts horsey if possible

35e65 No.35223

Put more ranks into ride from now on.
Rapid Mounting/Dismounting is a DC 20 check.

94dd4 No.35225

Torc arrives at the library and looks for books about magical items or dimensions

e7ac9 No.35226

You can expend your action for the round closing in on Trump's position, if being mounted is your intention.
This, though Trump is out of range and has a full round to mount, since that seems his intention.

35e65 No.35227

[irrationally-protective nightmare noises]
*smoke fumes*
I said I threw away the charts, but I remember the courses of action.

I g2g for 5-10 minutes….

046ba No.35228

*scratches behind mr sneks eyes*

046ba No.35229

"so vrees do you wish to be free?"

e7ac9 No.35230

A cursory review indicates that whatever item he is describing is not listed, and is therefore a custom-fabrication.
Snek likes this one.
So, I have it at Tracy closed so Trump could mount, and is beginning to billow smoke.
"Does a bear shit pope, who wandered into the woods and found himself face-to-face with a bear?"

35e65 No.35231

Can he use those Flanking boots to close the distance next turn?

35e65 No.35232

This guy is awfully sarcastic.

e7ac9 No.35233

I was under the impression that Trump was mounting Tracy. Besides, any boot-flaking would be Trump's call, so why is TF asking about it? e_e

5a385 No.35234

I was guessing that the range was more limited, but I have no idea. Even if it did what would I be flanking? The charging bird? And then what? They are far away

Mounts horsey

046ba No.35235

"what if i said you can earn your freedom?"

35e65 No.35236

>why is TF asking about it?
Because he never uses them.. and I kind of want them…

94dd4 No.35237

Mr. Snek: *more tounge flicking*
Hmmm, well I got nothing. Maybe if Lenos was back…

046ba No.35238

*lightly steps on snek*

94dd4 No.35239

File: 1513550139141.png (41.69 KB, 500x398, gun-sounds-snek-4228492.png)

046ba No.35240

"good snek."

94dd4 No.35241

A GAU-8 avenger sprouts from Mr. Snek's mouth.

Torc hears "BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT" from the library

046ba No.35242

"BAD snek."

e7ac9 No.35243

"I'm not sure what you mean by "earn", but lets hear it."
You're right, he doesn't.
A gau 8? No. So many kinds of no.

94dd4 No.35244

It was a shit post
You stepped on him

5a385 No.35245

So is it bird's move with Trump mounted on Tracy?

046ba No.35246

i laid my foot on him basically.
"me imagine sitting in your own juices isnt very fun, so if you agree to help us track down your "friends" me vow me will let you go after we find them."

35e65 No.35247

Tracy is readying to strike with her chain.

e7ac9 No.35248

Yes. The charging one gets into range, giving Tracy and Trump an attack of opportunity, though its going for a spring attack. 3 of the group (2 from behind and 1 from the middle) also charge. The rest close distance (5') and maintain readiness.

ade21 No.35249

In the last round rather than coming to be mounted?

ade21 No.35250

Dice rollRolled 14, 16, 7, 7 = 44

Sword slash! I don't know if I have one or four, but just take the first dice roll if the former

94dd4 No.35251

GM, where is Lenos?

35e65 No.35252

Dice rollRolled 6, 5, 9 = 20

Can she do both? She was only drawing her weapon.

Tracy lashes at the charging bird with her chain, snarling angrily.

046ba No.35253

fucking the female black dragon.

35e65 No.35254

what a shitty roll..

35e65 No.35255

They must've hit-off pretty well then.

94dd4 No.35256

>inb4 Lenos dies of exhaustion

046ba No.35257

either that or he got killed and his hide stole again.

35e65 No.35258

That would suck, but that's unlikely.
This sounds more plausible.

e7ac9 No.35259

Closing on Trump required a full movement (quick actions only). Trump would then have mounted, which even if he did it quickly, Tracy's move was expended. Meaning, it wuz the birds' turn, seen here: >>35248
Trump and Tracy have a single opporunity of attack, before it's Tracy's (full) turn, followed by Trump's.

ade21 No.35260

Use my 14 from the first roll for the attack of opportunity

35e65 No.35261

Dice rollRolled 20

*Stabs with cane-sword* (poisoned)

e7ac9 No.35262

Dice rollRolled 2 + 92


e7ac9 No.35263

Dice rollRolled 2 + 9

That didn't work.
Dice x2 is damage

ade21 No.35264

Dice rollRolled 20

Rolling again if it means anything

e7ac9 No.35265

It does, that was your attack of opportunity. The second bird skids to the ground dead, this time to the right of Trump and Tracy. Its Tracy's move, followed by Trump's, while the birds (still 35' away) maintain a trapezoid formation.

35e65 No.35266

I might have to leave within the next hour…

ade21 No.35267

Charge into the center of the formation!

35e65 No.35268

Dice rollRolled 20, 13, 12 = 45

They're in range to attack with the chain, right?
Spirited Charge, lashing-out with the chain at the center bird and billowing smoke ahead in a cone.

e7ac9 No.35269

Dice rollRolled 1, 19, 1, 18 = 39

Well, at this point its not much of a fight. The enemies are clearly out-classed, even given numbers. With Trump on Tracy its just a matter of picking them off, and unless there is a 1 in the next couple rolls, there's no chance of them doing anything particularly damaging to Tr/Tr.

e7ac9 No.35270

Oh that's not good

35e65 No.35271

>unless there is a 1

e7ac9 No.35272

That however is. The first two attacks land
>billowing smoke ahead
Not quite how it works.
Tracy, with chain lashes guresomely once and effectively the second time. The bird is alive, but just barely. Its Trump's turn
Just wait

046ba No.35273

ade21 No.35274

Dice rollRolled 9, 13, 9, 2 = 33

Hoping to cleave with full round of slashing

e7ac9 No.35275

Dice rollRolled 18

Yes cleave. The first attack fells the 3rd, and cleave takes precedence against the next (there's 3 charging) which lands (the 13). The 9h hits as well, followed by a miss with the 2, followed by another attack which doesn't have dice so

e7ac9 No.35276

The 4th bird falls dead <boooof>
BIrd's turn. The charging bird does a spring attack. Trump has an attack of opportunity against it.

e7ac9 No.35277

^Trump and Tracy

35e65 No.35278

Is Tracy still charging?

ade21 No.35279

Dice rollRolled 18


35e65 No.35280

Dice rollRolled 19

Stab cane (still poisoned)

e7ac9 No.35281

Dice rollRolled 4, 9 = 13

The 5th bird takes 2 dicey wounds. Not enough to kill it, but its pretty fucked up. Both 5 and 6 spring attack.

e7ac9 No.35282

One misses entirely, the other glances a strike against Trump's armor but fails to land. The rear birds squawk at eachother, and start backing away.
Tracy's move. There's 2 birds immediately (within 5') in range, while the other 2 are now backing off.

35e65 No.35283

Dice rollRolled 4, 10 = 14

>start backing away
Tracy's not stopping unless Trumpaladin stops her deliberately, now that she's like this.
She charges the nearest bird feverishly with two flaming hooves.

ade21 No.35284

Dice rollRolled 14, 12, 13, 4 = 43

Trumpaladin makes a full round attack of slashes against what is in range

e7ac9 No.35285

Okay, we can agree that 5 and 6 are done. 7 and 8 ain't havin' it, and are in full flight.

94dd4 No.35286

Torc decides to get some food
Rolls to start eating haggis I'm feeling left out on the rolling, okay?
"Hi susan, I'm back. Want anything to eat?"
Mr. Snek drapes himself around Torc's shoulders

94dd4 No.35287

I fucking mistyped dice RIP me.
Oh, GM can I get the full map again? I promise I'll save it this time

ade21 No.35288

To Tracy:
"Don't let them get away! Pursue! Charge! Kill!"

35e65 No.35289

[frenzied monster noises]
*rears with a feverish snort*

35e65 No.35290

Tracy gladly complies charging toward where she's directed at full speed.
She replies something through the empathetic link, but it's unintelligible. She's just bloodthirsty.

35e65 No.35291

For the record, if Tracy is directed to charge, she's probably going to comply no matter what.

e7ac9 No.35292

Dice rollRolled 16

>>35287 see >>34627
Tracy closes distance in a single round-movement with one, but draws an attack of opportunity from it

e7ac9 No.35293

Dice rollRolled 5, 2 + 4 = 11

The attack lands doing minimal damage. Trump's turn.

94dd4 No.35294

Thx, does Susan respond?

ade21 No.35295

Dice rollRolled 8, 16, 5, 9 = 38

Full round slashing

e7ac9 No.35296

Kill. One remains, in full flight. In range, with a full round motion from Tracy, who's turn it is. (blah blah, attack of opportunity, blah murder, blah, murder murder murder, and murder murder). Okay, they're all dead. There's 8 bodies strewn about the area.

ade21 No.35297

Dice rollRolled 17

Trumpaladin regains lucidity, and tries to calm or stay Tracy for the moment.

Spot check. Detect evil

e7ac9 No.35298

"You're not exactly giving me a choice in the matter. Either stew in this filth, or 'potentially' run free and frolick amongst the birds and animals, yeah?"

35e65 No.35299

Tracy slows to a stop and snorts feverishly, padding the ground beneath her.
[frisky monster noises]
She isn't calm, but his voice comforts her
*panting* (snorting)
She turns her head and nibbles at him
"Did I do well, ~Flashy?"

AQaaannd I g2g

e7ac9 No.35300

Later, have fun

5a385 No.35301

*pets horsey on the head, moving her ears to and fro.*
"You did very well my beloved mount. Now listen, in case those were the attack dogs of someone more dangerous"

94dd4 No.35302

See ya
"You want some more food?

e7ac9 No.35303

"Oh, cut the crap. What do you want to know? I'll fukkin' tell ye, just to get the show on the road. They give me magical transport devices, I get all sneaky sneaky and jack people's shit, and then use the devices to get away. Rrrrragggghhhhhh!" His body cast shakes around a bit as he fails in the attempt to flail in frustration.

94dd4 No.35304

"Calm down mate. I was just making myself food and was wondering if you wanted any. Though, can you get me the device?"
Mr. Sneks lifts his head and stares at what seems to be causing his master distress.

94dd4 No.35305

I gtg for an hour

046ba No.35306

"yea thats my offer."

e7ac9 No.35307

<whooof> Thez pops back in "Sorry it took so long, they insisted I beat them. By the way, the Fight Club may stop by and use the Entertron,… in a bit maybe."
"You'll trust me, just like that. Either you're a fool, or you're supremely confident."

5a385 No.35308

So assuming a follow up detect evil casting, a spot check, and hopefully what would have been listen and spot checks from Tracy all revealed nothing, Trumpaladin steps down to inspect the killed creatures. He wants to try to determine what he can about what they are, where they came from, and so forth. And of course… look for treasure or loot

046ba No.35309

"me let you decide which it is."

35e65 No.35310

Tracy moves up to one of the corpses and sniffs it curiously.

e7ac9 No.35311

No evil, and no possessions or treasure to speak of. Tracy could track. Pssst, detect evil only has a 60' range,… looking is a better way of determining threats
He thinks for a moment. "Define help."

5a385 No.35312

"Want to track where these things came from? Do you have any idea what they are?"

35e65 No.35313

Dice rollRolled 5 + 21

"You think these things will taste good?" She implores, as she begins dismembering the corpses and tossing tender parts in her bag.
"I don't know what they are, but they smell.. interesting…" *mouth waters a bit*
(this is my way of implying that she vaguely senses that they're some kind of fiend. She has a taste for fiends.
Idk if it'll work at all, but rolling a Track check to see if she has any clue where they could've come from.

5a385 No.35314

Dice rollRolled 4

"Careful with those! You don't know what they are or what they do"

Trumpaladin takes interesting parts himself, like feathers or beaks

Spo check, because why not

e7ac9 No.35315

"They do, and they've got 4 drumsticks each!!" Thez yells, though technically Tracy wouldn't hear her, nor would she have heard Tracy in the first place.
…maybe,… yeah.

046ba No.35316

"you help us find our gold then you can go your own way."

5a385 No.35317

Trumpaladin casts "Detect Poison" on the bird

e7ac9 No.35318

He squints his eyes and remains motionless for a moment. "I'll do it, but I will need my blades and some of that haggis," he says pointing at Torcuil's plate inb4 haggis jokes. "And I get a portion of the retrieved gold," he says, his eyebrow twitching, betraying a bit of daringly overzealous negotiating.
Other than the intestinal tract, its clean.

046ba No.35319

"you get 3%"

35e65 No.35320

>You don't know what they are or what they do
Cast Detect Poison if you're so concerned, fgt. Even I think they look delicious.

Tracy tells Trumpaladin that she's more tan capable of handling the bodies, and that she'll give him any piece he wants later after butchering. She then unfurls her skin-sack and ties wraps the parts that didn't fit in her Bag of Holding into a bundle.
Do "infernal" and "fiend" mean the exact same thing?
Tracy saves the intestinal tracks in a separate container on her saddlebags, considering that they might be useful later.
Did you ever consider asking Vadereim about monsters with Ebil Auras? An intelligent bane sword might be at least be able to identify a fiend.
Also, freaking talk to him. What's the point in having a talking sword if you never speak to him? He might know quite a bit, considering that he's a relic from a previous campaign.

5a385 No.35321

Dice rollRolled 19

I thought about it, then figured he probably couldn't provide much more than the alignment,
but fuck it

I don't know if he can let her eat those things. Would they mutate the child? Could they? He's not going to gamble letting his his child turn into a freak just to avoid starting
a fight. He'd rather start a fight.

Well Fuck it. Trumpaladin asks Vanderiem, who hopefully is sobering up by now
"Hey Vandy! What the hell are these things? Do you have any idea?"

Aslo, wisdom check on the type of poison in the intestines

e7ac9 No.35322

Thez is confused. "You're trusting him?" to Infernius
No! Glad you asked! Infernal is a blanket term referring to an external plane (outside material) that is "Not Good and not primal/natural". The NAP is infernal at the perimeter of the concept. Diabolical refers to devils and Abyssmal is then demons.
WAIT! No, Trump is right. Its so small, almost like a second appendix, except its above the throat box. These things do have a poison gland. They were never in range and still long enough to try, but they spew poison smoke.
Several previous campaigns. He's literally older than Thez.
They're from acheron meta, its a plane of war, not creepy hellish corruption.
"Fucked if I know lad. I heard ye had some drink a bit earlier tho."

e7ac9 No.35323

P.S. The poison in the intestines is poo.

94dd4 No.35324

>Torc hands him a plate of haggis

e7ac9 No.35325

"You know I'd accept it,… but this here body cast,…."

5a385 No.35326

Trumpaladin gives more alcohol to Vanderiem because he seems to be asking for it, and recommends to Tracy to cut off and save the poison glands.

Did Tracy's search check reveal anything?


>Thez is confused
Well, I can say that scene would never have gone down that way with Trumpaladin there. He can never trust any evil aligned creature than isn't Lawful - never. We'll see how it goes down

e7ac9 No.35327

pssst Darkie isn't evil

35e65 No.35328

File: 1513560472814-0.gif (Spoiler Image, 2.76 MB, 412x600, 1102664__safe_screencap_pr….gif)

The foal has a literal fiend for a parent. It was conceived while she was transformed: the parts of her womb that regenerated did so because of her transformation. On top of that, it was mentioned in the Elway prophecy, so it absolutely won't be a "normal" child. Eating devil-chickens won't do anything extra to it.
The baby might have uber-demigod powers or some other crazy horseshit, but I'm sure it'll still be adorable. Stop worrying about things that might "mutate"
it, because it's already more than likely to be something unique.

Tracy pulls-out the poison glands and puts them together in a jar on her saddlebags.
*dumps intestines out after realizing it's not killing anyone*

35e65 No.35329

Dice rollRolled 18 + 21

>Tracy's search check
You mean the Track check?
Search check because he asked.

94dd4 No.35330

Torc feeds susan the haggis

5a385 No.35331

046ba No.35332

"dont worry swetie me know how theese types get when offered a payday."

046ba No.35334

detect good?

35e65 No.35335

… He's an Assassin, isn't he?

5a385 No.35336

Why you post such evil gifs? He doesn't want a child that's 25% Judeo-bolshevik and 25% uber feminist. If it must be part Jewish, at least let it be the good kind of Jew

046ba No.35337

there are no good jews.

5a385 No.35338

She's supposed to be a pony…

94dd4 No.35339

Detect stupidity

e7ac9 No.35340

"Deal. Now get me the fuck out of this cast."
"Definitely not"

5a385 No.35341

Just a statement of preference. That is all

94dd4 No.35342

>not "Infernius radiates so hard Torc gets a headache"
"Fine, we'll let you out"

35e65 No.35343

Good point. It might just be a "normal" baby.
My point is that it's not going to be drastically affected by anything she eats, if you put it in context with the circumstances of its birth.
>25% this
>25% that
I don't think that's how peculiar creatures work in a fantasy setting. If it has Ebil Outsider characteristics, it would't necessarily be of Jewish nature, since it's twice passed-down and hybridized. It could be its own unique essence.
>good kind of Jew

046ba No.35344

"A deal is a Deal"
"kill him and put him back in the cast if he tries anything ana."
*opens cast*

35e65 No.35345

>Deeper Darkness
>Dimensional Door
>Alter Self:Pegasus
>Pass Without a Trace
He can cast all those spontaneously…

046ba No.35346

im sure thez is faster than him.

94dd4 No.35347

Dice rollRolled 18

Torc can cast Polymorph:Dragon….

rolling for inittive just incase

e7ac9 No.35348

Sorry, I linked the wrong post. That was supposed to be >>35335
I figured you knew already, it would be redundant.
What kind of solid-steel body-cast can you just "open"?
Infernius realizes that letting Darkie out is going to be more difficult than he originally anticipate.

5a385 No.35349

Infernius is a particularly stupid and imprudent form of good, but whatever. That's his character. Mine would never trust Darkie that much, or would let him go with the intention of him escaping and then Scrying or whatever his location. But maybe infernius's leaps of faith in trusting others is better than my "never trust anyone" approach. Maybe he'll get further than I could have. Let's see

35e65 No.35350

I thought Ebil was a class requirement for Assassin.
Or is he just formerly ebil?

94dd4 No.35351

Torc somehow uses magic to free Darkie…
And he plucks a hair for safe keeping

5a385 No.35352

This. Also, Drow are Chaotic evil if I recall

35e65 No.35353

Neutral Ebil, as a society. Individuals vary.

e7ac9 No.35354

Don't worry, Thez never trusts anyone either.
If you're asking if I (as GM and co-creator of this character) have an excuse for a non-evil character to have assassin ranks, then I assure you I do.
Are we talking statistics, or are we talking specifics?

35e65 No.35355

After loading everything, Tracy allows Trumpaladin to mount her and continues down the path.
Are they still going towards the mountain, or towards the settlement or something you mentioned?

046ba No.35356

can you make him ethereal?

5a385 No.35357

Of Course. Where do you want to go?

35e65 No.35358

She doesn't care. Steer her.

5a385 No.35359

Dice rollRolled 3


Trumpaladin orders the horsey high up into the air. He then searches for signs of Agricultural fields, clearings, settlements, structures, and anything familair

35e65 No.35360

Dice rollRolled 9 + 21

They could probably see further if they were higher up.
Sensing his intention, Tracy flies ~60 feet in the air, and makes her own search check.

046ba No.35361

be back in 30 minutes.

35e65 No.35362

Did not see that he ordered (or just asked?) her to fly, sorry.
She complies.

94dd4 No.35363

I guess, Torc still takes a hair though

046ba No.35364

take a few.

e7ac9 No.35365

The fastest way tbh is to cut his head off and throw that in the Entertron. "Kinda why I wanted to keep his head in a bucket," Thez says with a hint of sarcastic irritation.
At 60' Tracy realizes, "I can't see shit from this altitude." and feels compelled to go higher. Its at about 250-300' that she starts to notice a pattern. There's a mountain range right to Tracy's right. It looks kind of familiar and it reminds her of,…
The bebes. Which way are the bebes?

94dd4 No.35366

Torc takes a few

046ba No.35367

"um vrees there might be a problem, you'll get 5% percent because this isnt going to be pleasant."

35e65 No.35368

I was thinking I should make her more nervous about those birds.. She's even less comfortable with leaving them in the stables now…
If that's the direction of the tower (where she's going), Tracy flies off towards the mountain range, unless Trumpaladin greatly objects to it.

5a385 No.35369

I kind of wanted to see if there were any settlements, cities, or civilizations or factions to explore. Of course there's the thing with the Drow Trumpaladin would have wanted to do anytways, he wants to revive pirates and convince them to work for him, and so forth. If Tracy says anything about the Birds, Trumpaladin will say "Oh don't worry,
Trollestia is good with children and will look after them"

e7ac9 No.35370

"Done. Oh what, you think you can outdo the queen of spiders, when it comes to "unpleasant"? Oh do tell me ways I can be paid more, I implore you." True
It does look familiar.

35e65 No.35371

Saying that would make her feel even worse…
Can she actually tell which direction the tower is in?

94dd4 No.35372

Torc turns to Infernius
"Who gets the honor?"

5a385 No.35373

If the mountain range is recognizable, that means that following it will lead them back to the tower

35e65 No.35374

For really no reason, Tracy drifts towards the mountain to get a closer look.
It isn't though.

5a385 No.35375

Yes it is. Also, would she not like it if he went back up north later with Fae or perhaps Trollestia?

35e65 No.35376

GM said it wasn't familiar.
She would hate it, and don't even think about the later one.

35e65 No.35377

Oh, wait it seems I was mistaken.
Tracy speeds off towards the familiar mountains.

046ba No.35378

"thez does."

046ba No.35379

"do a good job helping us."

94dd4 No.35380


35e65 No.35381

What time of day is it in game? A bit before noon?

94dd4 No.35382


5a385 No.35383

And don't even think about murdering sailors in Trumpaladin's Jurisdiction. Jesus, Paladins are supposed to kill evil outsiders everywhere, but I toned his white-knightedness down so that he only gives a shit about people under his "jurisdiction," and that includes Travellers in his city. Want to do random stabbing, go to Cardishor or Krenshall. Some place he isn't legally and morally obligated to divorce her, renounce her, kill her, then have sex with a good-aligned celestial charger over her corpse if she's murdering visitors

35e65 No.35384

"……. Flashy…"

35e65 No.35385

[unsure pony noises]

5a385 No.35386

"We can go back, little pony. They'll be wondering where I am anyways"

046ba No.35387

"oh hey trumpaladins gone"

35e65 No.35388

*is speeding towards the tower*
"… Flashy..?"

94dd4 No.35389

Torc pulls out his dagger and turns into into a full claymore

5a385 No.35390

*rubs horsey*
"What's wrong little pony?"

Not sure if funny or reee inducing
I meant Fae and his Generals, whom he kind of just left…

046ba No.35391

"go for it."

e7ac9 No.35392

"What? Me? Well, I guess its my lucky day," Thez says like she just got bingo. "Uhm,… I uh,… I don't have a blade at the,… oh wait nevermind," she says finally pulling out a device that looks kind of like a folding saw, which she flicks open. Its a fancy-lookin' kama, sculpted to look like quetzalcoatl.
She looks over at Torcuil and thinks for a moment.
"Oi. You ever seen the Dark Crystal?"

94dd4 No.35393

Dice rollRolled 1

Rolling for a swing

046ba No.35394


94dd4 No.35395

Someone put me out of my FUCKING misery

35e65 No.35396

File: 1513566143617.png (110.48 KB, 470x342, shoobedoo.png)

"……. Flashy… You wouldn't cheat on me, would you? That one time with Thez was just >rape, right? You wouldn't do something like that on your own volition, right…?
You notice that she is now flying frighteningly hight
"……. RIGHT?!" Her voice sounds desperate

046ba No.35397

"please continue sweetheart, ignore torc stabbing himself."

35e65 No.35398

File: 1513566197541-0.png (465.2 KB, 1280x1080, 1071367__semi-dash-grimdar….png)

>Someone forgot to make the weekly sacrifice to the dice gods.

94dd4 No.35399

[Screaming scotsman noises]
Because I'm such a faggot, give me thirty minutes and you'll get a pic

5a385 No.35400

I actually feel sorry for darkie

>Resists temptation to ban Torcuil's faggot

I know right

046ba No.35401


35e65 No.35402

*shakes a bit*
*legs buckle*

94dd4 No.35403

Plz tell me you removed the sword first

e7ac9 No.35404

Dice rollRolled 3, 7, 7, 4, 5, 5, 8 = 39

Dice rollRolled 7

>GM finally corners his sides and takes them back into possession
Cuz she's still laughing, Thez reglects strength bonus.

046ba No.35405


5a385 No.35406

*He pets Tracy, slowly*
"Tracy, I really do want this to work out…

As You certainly know, I am the Waifu Thief, he who insists on having more than one waifu. And I came in here with the intention of doing just that. But if you insist, I can make a change for the sake of our marriage. I am willing to sacrifice to make it work…

Now Thez was definitely not intended. She doesn't even have hooves. Not my type.

Tracy, what happened between myself and Trollestia happened…

But it was not a reflection of how much I love you. It was not a reflection of how desirable I think you are. I can make this work"

94dd4 No.35407

These breds have put my sides in orbit of Sirius
INB4 stabby stabby

e7ac9 No.35408

OH! He's still (technically) alive! He's literally hanging on by a thread, dangling backward as it were, from his body-cast. That is, his head is.

046ba No.35409

046ba No.35410

fuck it i rip his head off!

5a385 No.35411

The dice gods fucking hate Darkie

94dd4 No.35412

Dice rollRolled 9

Can Torc have mercy kill?

5a385 No.35413

Of himself?

94dd4 No.35414

Rude bitch

35e65 No.35415

File: 1513567030503.jpg (67.75 KB, 509x354, intredasting.jpg)

*heavy breathing*
*buckling intensifies*
"…… Wh-what exactly.. 'happened'?" she knows but she's in denial

e7ac9 No.35416

Sorry, that's a fail
After Infernius' 2, that'll be fine.
Off comes Darkemter's head, squeezing out the words, "Finally, shit." before being picked up and lobbed back into the entertron, to be reconstituted without clothers. "Well hello friends,long time!"

046ba No.35417

i throw him some pants.

94dd4 No.35418

I only have d6's…
How many are needed for a sacrifice?
Torc hands him a tablecloth

5a385 No.35419

"It was not an act of love. That night, outside the fort, as you tried to run away, that was an act of love. I did it because I felt like if I did not, I might lose you forever. And I didn't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you. And in so doing, I gave you something. I gave you your foal - hopefully just the first. And nopony else has received such love from me"

046ba No.35420

the dice lords demand blood.

e7ac9 No.35421

"Ahhh, thank you, but I brought my own," He says, almost smearing his hands along his waist-line. An endless number of tiny dots descend from his hands and weave themselves around his legs like creepy-spooder sweat-pants,

35e65 No.35422

*buckling lessens slightly, before intensifying again, her whole body shivering*
"….. Flashy….. why would you do this…? *voice cracks* a-and why with that white c-cunt..?"
>flight pattern is now dangerously unstable

046ba No.35423

can you recall your spiders from our vault?

046ba No.35424

forgot the "

94dd4 No.35425

Uh, I've got the Kilt, claymore dagger, and bagpipe chanter. But not blood…
"Ah, now. Do we have to make your 'escape' look convincing?"

35e65 No.35426

It needs to be virgin blood too.
Do you have a virgins with you?

5a385 No.35427

"Because I had this stupid idea when I first saw that unicorn that I was going to have sex with her. Then it became kind of a contest with Torcuil, who I was still angry with at the time. And finally Trollestia gave me just enough rope for me to hang myself with"

94dd4 No.35428

T-the person typing this…
Hey, no dragging Torc into your love problems

35e65 No.35429

[dangerously unstable pony noises] (emotionally and physically)
"….. Flashy… I…"
*suddenly drops ~20 feet*
"….. I don't know what to…!" *breaks off*

5a385 No.35430

"I'm sorry Tracy. I love you"

e7ac9 No.35431

"I could, that is if that little shiny-haired fellow hadn't gone hiroshima on them a couple days ago."
"Oh, I get it, an "escape"? Ha ha ha, no. They won't fall for that. They'll see any pursuit as adversarial, me or otherwise. Decide now. Who is hunting, and who is hunted?" His eyes grow cold.

046ba No.35432

"we hunt your friends."

94dd4 No.35433

Torc draws one pistol, a staff, and Mr. Snek begins to hiss
"We're hunting"

35e65 No.35434

*rises a bit before dropping again*
"….. D-d-d-do you? Do you really l-love me, Flashy..? I'm your one and only true p-partner…?"

35e65 No.35435

*flies up again, much, much higher*

5a385 No.35436

"I do love you. You are the one I think about when I am away. You are my one waifu… You are my partner and the mother of my child. I did not realize you would be shaken from that belief"
*tries to hug horsey*

046ba No.35437

poor tracy

94dd4 No.35438

This, she just wanted a family

35e65 No.35439

File: 1513568986259.jpg (45.63 KB, 332x362, thisfeelsdirty.jpg)

*slows to a halt*
*shivers feverishly*
[confused pony noises]
*chokes up a bit*
"…………………………………………………………………………………….. r-really…..?" *sniffs*

5a385 No.35440

"Tracy, I am not perfect, and I have made very serious mistakes. I did not and do not want to hurt you. I will be your husbando. I will be yours."

Pets horsey
"The three of us together in a household, think of it. You're going to be a mother"

35e65 No.35441

File: 1513569465679.jpg (61.74 KB, 483x525, only the dead can know pea….jpg)

"……………….. I'd do anything for the sake of our family, Flashy. Anything. Can you say the same…?"

35e65 No.35442

*hangs in the air, motionlessly*

5a385 No.35443

"What must I do?"

046ba No.35445


35e65 No.35446

File: 1513569928392.jpg (40.12 KB, 343x374, fuck.jpg)

"…. Would you do just one thing.. for the sake of our family..? To prove you love me? I can forgive you if you do, but you have to promise me, Flashy.. I'll never ask for anything else again if you do this for me."
*stays stalk-still*

94dd4 No.35447

>goes to sleep
See y'all tomorrow

5a385 No.35448

*Trumpaladin winces*
"Tracy… I'm not allowed to do literally anything… But I am willing to go very far for you. For us. What do you need me to do?"


35e65 No.35449

File: 1513570317486.jpg (57.56 KB, 322x284, yep.jpg)

"Kill the Troll."

5a385 No.35450

File: 1513570661478.png (2.47 MB, 2048x2048, 1512632098297.png)

*Trumpaladin ponders the ethics of allowing one innocent person to die for the sake of rectifying the sins of another, and for protecting the lives of others*
*Thinks of the symbolic meaning of killing a Unicorn*

"If… I do that… can we be a happy couple? Can we be a family?"

35e65 No.35451

File: 1513571287701.png (484.59 KB, 2956x4000, implying you wouldn't.png)

"I need this, Flashy..! I can't wait any longer..! I've wanted to kill her since the day I first met her, and I can't hold back anymore. It hurts to even look at her now; she makes me want to scream.. it's too late, there can only be one of us…
I'm going to kill that unicorn.. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.. But when I do, I don't want it to hurt us; I don't want to have to keep it a secret from you. I want to share my whole self with you, Flashy; so please.. kill her with me.."
"You know I love you, Flashy.. If you love me, will you help me make her disappear, permanently? I can't live in the tower with her there, it has to be done… I can forgive everything if you'll just do this for me."