This bread is not for you! This is a very special bread, made entirely of mixed nuts.
Welcome back to the Game, where right now we're discussing how Tracy can't hide the fact that she sometimes catches fire.
505 replies and 132 files omitted.
>>9470why is my int not in the teens?
>>9472because infernuis obvisouly the smartest.
>>9473I'd say he's displayed far more wisdom than intelligence
>>9460>>9476Craft Magic Arms and Armor
Craft Universal Item
Craft Construct
Craft Wondrous Item
Craft Staff
>these are the real globalist fighter feats >>9478Lenos, still hammering away in the forge, peeks his head away from his latest construction.
"He'll be fine."
>>9458>reee-ing>>9469I am chaotic
Both as a result of living in a cave
And my god Kek
>>9470GM, can I have stats too?
>>9480I don't know enough about Torcuil at this point tbh. I mean we know he likes staves, but does he have any martial skill? Where's his claymore dammit? What kinda scotsman,... anyway, here's what I'm thinking:
Str: 9
Dex: 14
Con: 12
Int: 16
Wis: 11
Cha: 14
Also Torcuil gets an extra feat at first level cuz human. No stat change though.
>>9481>Pic relatedI know what most of the words you said mean, separately.
What's martial skill?
Weapon skills?
Help
>>9482"He means can ye handle a blade lad!" Vandereim calls from over there.
>>9483martial skill= swing sword gud.
>>9483>>9484>>9485every meme i post i darw and show it to torc.
>>9486Yeah, but he's already seen 'em cuz they're already posted elsewhere XDDDD
>>9481 Torq lived in a cave in Scotland for years studying ancient memes scrawled on cave painting, so he should have a good amount of wisdom. He should probably also have Archane knowledge because of it.That's just my opinion though.
>>9490So, scottish dyonisus who memes? Alright then I'd go with:
S 11
D 14
Con 12
Int 16
Wis 13
Cha 11
10-11 is the scale for average (peasant-soldier class) human, 10 being 1-5 on the overall rating scale, 6-10 obviously for 11
>>9481>Where's his claymore dammit? What kinda scotsman,…>Implying he'd be able to swing one with his wimpy cave-NEET armsHis character background stated that (((they))) took over his country, so it would be post-"Bin That Knife" Scotland.
He should have a trusty blackthorn Shillelagh: the most lethal weapon allowed in the UK
imo, it should be a really buffed-up magic item with a permanent spell cast on it. >>9492so gm when am i gonna get my wyvern mount?
>>9494You've already got a fly, what more do you want?
>>9493A shillelach you say? Not per the spell, but make it a +2 darkwood club.
>>9495does the fly breath fire?
>>9497>>9495i like to have a backlog of mounts.
So long as we are making unreasonable requests for superfluous second or third mounts, I'd like to request a Gloriana class Battleship as a mount
>>9496No. It doesn't attack, can carry a load of up to 600 lbs, and can basically 'Goku-on-a-cloud' you around. When brought forth (no longer than 2 hrs up/1 hr down) you have a telepathic link and can issue commands and receive info from (like a drone kinda).
>>9502It is also a frilly gem-encrusted, girly pin when not called forth, and can only be worn in the mane or tail.
>>9505i wear her? with pride in on my tail.
>>9505That's actually pretty neat
Fae is competent to do missionary work right?
>>9507She has sufficiently memorized more of the prophecy of John Elway and the multitude of texts that surround him than anyone in this realm, so yes.
>>9506The commands (instant no-action upon command) which can be combined with any attack movement (5' even in full-attack) are "Uatchit" (ooh-wad-jit) and "Shoo-fly".
>is finally done working
Alright, so for the past few days, Tracy has been sitting in her Cuckshed camp, managing her equipment. She tried to cook some potions, but her faggot doesn't know how potions work, so let's just say she gave up for now after blowing herself up for the third time.
GM, Tracy bought explosives-equipment back in the alchemy shop at Port Barry. Her faggot forgot to make the requisition for dimeterium ingots (what I wanted bombs for), but could she at least make a low-power firebomb/flashbang? Something like pic related.
>>9510But she's walking down a road way away from town.
And don't you dare make anything like pic related
>>9510There are schematics for flash-bangs and frag grenades in library of Floating Trump Tower. Pretty much anything that can be researched can be researched at the (now) Trump Tower
>>9511>she's walking down a roadShe made a survival check when she saw the road-blocker sign, and made camp until GM was ready.
>>9512>on the roadSo, no?
>>9513But how much time has passed in the game?
>>9514I just took it from the "Try again Friday Xp" joke, that Tracy's journey would've taken awhile, so she would've made camp at some point (due to her interactions with generalfags on /mlp/, she's an excellent cuckshed-builder).
GM, depending upon how much time has passed within the game, I would like the following interactions to take place or have taken place within the game involving Trumpaladin.
1. Taking possession of one of the rat buildings, and beginning the process of converting it into a privately owned grill
2. Meet with Sechs of relevant representatives about a levy on the town's population to create a standing army, as well as whether this may be organized as belonging to the town, or as a new Military Order for Football
3. Meet with Sechs or relevant representatives to ask about the other towns and cities on the planet - what their status is, where they are, and so forth.
This latter most action should be played out, but all should be completed prior to the beginning of the new expedition.
Also, a check on the progress of conversion to Football is necessary
Tracy pretends to be summoning Sinisa Mihailovic, for the 6 gorillionth time, just to piss-off Fae when she saw she was about to fall asleep.
>>9518No way. Fae is lawful good, and therefore understands the beauty of jurisdiction - that most beautiful of requirements by which even the severest of problems may be taken out from the stack of the inbox, and gleefully resigned to "not my problem"
>>9519> jurisdictionWhat was that.
Also, when did the cat stop following her? That actually changes what I'm going to do tonight. At what point would she have left?
>>9520that?*
What 'jurisdiction' were you referring to?
>>9512>Pretty much anything that can be researched can be researched at the (now) Trump TowerThat's actually quite the powerful mechanic.
What's the least bullshit way for me to have Tracy develop her Wilder powers?
>>9520Fae was assigned to determine where the money was buried, if Tracy was up to any sketchy shit, and if she was going to harm anyone or anything Trumpaladin didn't want her to. But Tracy is now far away from where the money would likely have been buried (I believe she's never been in this area before, so it couldn't have been here). And not only is she far from Port Barry, it doesn't look like she intends to return. She could be leaving to join the enemy, but there's nothing Fae can do about that on her own. So the logical conclusion is to go back to the city, report findings, and stay watch on the eastern walls in case Tracy returns.
When would she have left? Probably after Tracy completed her flight training and went down the road, or at least after she had that encounter with the store owner that was a little reminiscent of this scene from No Country For Old Men
https://youtu.be/BqMdQBox15sThe reason is that's about the time she would have determined Tracy intended to leave
>>9522I'm sure I said something to that effect at some point
>>9523Wait a sec tbh
>>9524Whenever you decide to recall Fae, she will be dryly happy to report that Tracy was most diplomatic and proper in all the circumstances she presented herself in. There is no threat from Soros.
>>9524Fair enough of an action plan, on Fae's part.
>the enemyWho?
>watch on the eastern walls>Implying a classless kitty could out-roll her stealth checksShe went North, btw.
>FridayCan Tracy get glimpse of the city yet?
Tracy practices throwing her kunai at a tree to kill time and train her Concentration
>>9526Or she can say that Tracy did a lot weird ass shit involving lighting herself on fire and flying, followed by a scene like Anton Chigur and the gas station antendant
>>9527A flaming, flying horse is the opposite of stealthy. And guards can be told to report any blue ponies coming through.
>>9526Can Trump recall Fae or does FAE need to leave on her own initiative? Either way, her Daddy needs her elsewhere
>>9530You should be able to recall her for at least a mile's distance. Idk though..
To what point did you tell her to keep Tracking? Tracy hasn't attempted to throw Fae off of her trail yet, so any Tracking check could still be intact.
Empathetic link could've given your character the opportunity for mild communication within that mile's distance, and a Paladin's Mount, for that very reason, probably wouldn't pursue low-priority targets beyond that distance, unless given approval by the Paladin. Since Draggones aren't suited to flying more than 30 minutes, it's not far fetched to believe that she would've gotten tired pretty quickly and just reported back that she didn't really see very much of major concern, and reported back during the first night (she could track her pretty easily on foot, but would you?).
I just care because of my character-development plans. All those flowcharts getting activated at once last week makes it feel like I'm playing snakes and ladders.
>>9531Her assignment was to see if Tract anything suspicious, committed crimes, or went to the location of the money. The bottom line is that Fae is useful in other roles, and the opportunity cost of keeping her on Tracy now outweighs the benefits of following her. She is need for other purposes. Tracy is a pretty high priority target, so there would have been approval to follow for a while if needed, but once Tracy showed she wasn't going to the money or going to kill anyone or burn down buildings in Port Barry, nor make any sort of communication to George Soros at least yet, she dropped down the priority list
>>9532Wish I'd known that last week, but noted.
>*erases 3 Bad Endings* >>9533Tracy is next week's problem, so far as Trunpaladin can tell. But THIS week's problem... That is what is on his mind. It is that for which he needs his missionary-mount, ever mindful of the the need to efficiently allocate resources
>tfw I gotta rewrite her emotional balance state to accommodate for the absence of the Dragonne's presence on the trail to the city
I'm going to have her hand-out soccer balls to children later, just to spite you for making me do all this math on my development theory.
>>9536Which city? Because FAE isn't leaving the vicinity of Port Barry. Yet.
>>9537The city in the North that GM won't let me explore yet, it would've been quite a few miles past Pit village
>>9538It does fit the theme well. >>9539GM can do what he wants, but most probably all players will converge on that city
GM, did you have prior plans for that city that would get fucked-up by me having Tracy explore it? I could have her go back and do other stuff I wanted her to do.
GM, prepare to get plans fucked up, because we are exploring somewhere in the next session
>>9543>Forgetting there's an imbalance of power in my favor as wellWhen three separate players have affirmatively voiced a desire to go exploring, yes, yes I am
>>9489Was I right to guess that Trollestia's Clerical domain was Trolling?
>>9528Now she tries swinging her whip.
>>9549No. We are waiting for GM to-
>>9548>GetOverHere.gif >>9548>Tracy suddenly feels much more attuned to using the whip now that it is part knife.>she practices some more>she tries cracking the whip>WowSoEdgy.jpg>She then attempts grappling small objects>not so easy>tries to grapple branch>it gets stuck>yanks on chain>it's fucking stuck>yanks with all her might>'Get Over Here!'>branch cleaves loose and lands at her hooves>Wicked smile>practices grabbing various small objects with the whipknife>is getting good at it>OMCUinicornsBtfo.webmIt takes Concentration, but it works
>All the while she's charging her Ki, waiting for The Game to begin Irrelevant shitty videos, because I'm bored:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbAgUzbhlMs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXU01cuWyx8
>>9552tracy show me how to do that?
>>9553She's very far away from you
>>9553See
>>9554It wouldn't be bad if you were to meet her on this mission though, since it'll fit your character's creed, eventually.
>>9555Checked.
>>9554it goes without saying that, that comes later.
>>9542You assume that exploring changes my plan
>>9558Oh I was just making fun of
>>9541Also, Trumpaladin goes to Sechs, or whoever is relevant, to ask which cities are near in in relations with Port Barry
>>9545infernuis planned to look for the missing jews this episode.
>>9560Well this is problematic. I was going to open up relations with a new city/localitiy, and determine if they needed overthrowing/annexation, could vassalized, or were open to prosthelytization
>>9559"Well, nearby there's Pip although there's not much to see there. A good ways beyond you'll find a split. One road leads to Cardishore, another road leads to Sparinetar, and another road that leads to the Gnome city of Krenshallgramellervenciatus, tho most just just call it Krenshall.
>>9564"What is there of note about Cardishore or Sparinetar?"
>>9562ill help you bring the other towns democracy.
>>9565"Never been to either, but from what I hear Sparinetar is a thriving industrial and technological city. I hear similar things about Cardishore, but,... I don't know, its a different kind of culture there."
>>9567Excellent. Inferius can do a jew search while Trumpaladin brings Freedom
>>9568"How industrial? How Technological? What do you mean by 'a different kind of culture'?"
Can Tracy enter the city yet?
>>9570Wait for everyone else goddamn it
>>9571She's already like a week ahead of the group.
>>9566The one to the north is Cardishore, and it looks like a large dome. Its actually a smaller domed building inside a large wall which from distance looks like a giant dome.
>>9569High industrial, high tech. On what scale is Trump familiar?
>>9570Sure
>>9570Rather, she can approach the gate.
>>9572It's been like two or three days game time
>>9573Modern America
>>9572Besides, we're travelling by a much, much faster means than walking
>>9575More tech, more industry. A little bit sci-fi then.
>>9575Correct. The Denver Broncos have established themselves as a team of proper athletes, Trump's Generals (I'm still not sure exactly where you're going with that, but whatever) are coming along nicely as well. The stadium its self is the largest building that's been seen, almost the size of Port Barry its self.
>>9574Tracy considers that walking through the streets as a talking hoers might draw too much attention.
*gets on hind legs (that's how she normally walks anyway*
>DisquiseTracy pulls up her hood and drapes herself with her cape. At a distance, she appears like a short halfling or kender, and like a small beastman up close.
She approachs the City dome slowly.
>>9576>Dragonne fly speed: 30 ft (40 with the class bonus)Tracy could walk faster.
>>9577Did you think he would fly on the Dragonne when there is an even better option?
>>9577>Trump's Generals (I'm still not sure exactly where you're going with that, but whatever)In the early 1980s, Donald J. Trump owned a football team of the now defunct United States Football League that was named "The New Jersey Generals," that played in Giants Stadium.
>>9578You're far enough away still to disguise and stealth (cuz disguise is part of stealth).
>>9579Of course he did. What 'better option' do you mean?
>>9580Use the vehicle that was designed for this purpose. The floating Trump Tower itself
>>9580>Arrives at gateWhat's the castle guard look like?
[3d20 = 42]>>9583Also, roll to Listen, Spot, and Search
>>9582They wear very neat uniforms, with several weapons at their belts, and communication devices that they frequently exchange information from/with.
>>9581And here I thought everyone forgot that the building moves.
>>9585>doesn't look goodTracy approaches cautiously, inspecting the rigid-looking guards.
The gate is shut, I suppose?
>>9585I remembered, it's just that I wanted to stay in character.
>>9586Yes, and there is a very long line outside the gate, which continues just inside the gate. Like, the gate is really just a checkpoint for a guard to look at you and then nod you inside where the line continues about 6' in.
>>9588>Tight immigration controlI'm liking these people so far
[2d20 = 9]>>9586Sense Motive
What kind of checks are they looking for?
Has anyone passed through recently?
Spot to read lips
>>9589DnD mechanics
Where did I mention that? I didn't think she'd just take to the controls and move the whole crystal, like she owned the place.
>>9592They don't appear to be checking for anything in particular, more checking everyone entering. The guard makes a few notes on a stack of paper on a clipboard with each person entering. A little further in is another guard who asks a few questions. They're slightly out of hearing range.
>>9594This is the only visible way in right?
Fuck it, I don't feel like being the rogue that finds her way in through the sewer before asking.
*walks up to gate*
There's a good 50 people in front of you in line, and they don't appear to appreciate the idea of you cutting in line.
I cant join you guys tonight, ive got a stacy to fuck.
>>9594>>9591They are checking IDs as a security measure, aren't they?
>>9597Uh... okay?
>>9597>nazi horsefucker>stacyI'm not saying its not true, but you'll pardon my skepticism. Go forth and damage the pussy
>>9596Tracy's anger festers as she waits patiently and Lawfully to slowly get into the gate.
In the time being, she uses her superior pony senses to eavesdrop on everyone's conversations and gather information about the gatecheck and the city.
>>9598Not just, but that appears to be part of the process.
>>9600>LawfullyYou got a visa, little pony?
>>9600The conversations are many and varied, and don't appear to have a common theme (or any theme at all really). The clothing of the people in line varies across all sorts of cultural lines (most of which you're entirely unfamiliar). Some in line are talkative and loud, while others are quiet and reserved. Everyone seems to be attempting to occupy themselves, but all are just a little irritated at having to wait.
[3d20 = 29]>>9600Also, sense motive while she's at it.
What is everyone so eager to enter the city for?
>Listen+Spot(read lips)+Sense Motive >>9603Who's immediately in front of Tracy?
>>9605There's all kinds, though more are on the high-charisma side of the scale.
>>9602So am I to assume you are wanting Lenos to fly the Tower north?
>>9606I meant like right in front of her.
Does he/she/it look bored enough to make small talk?
>>9609You're welcome to try. Even those who are talking to one another appear passive aggressive in the least, especially the more talkative ones.
I dont feel like reading, can someone tldr me?
>>9611Tracy is waiting in line for a sports game or something like that, while Trump is waiting for a flight
[3d20 = 39]>>9610Diplomacy check
Add some profession and perform to look like she's got something interesting to offer.
>still don't know what the first guy looks like, so I'm not sure how to address him>'Hello?' >>9489>my shitty OC is getting shippedI wish I could say this is the wierdest thing to happen to me today
>>9492Okay, I get this
>>9493I actually own a claymore style dagger, so maybe we could oork with a claymore dagger for Torc? >>9614Take a seat with me Inferius. Anything you want to talk about as we wait?
>>9615Come sit with us!
>>9617infernuis sorry for opposing you so much, me want you to know me friend and me stop at nothing to protect friends.
Tracy approves of your edge.
GM, please let him have it.
>>9619While waiting, Trumpaladin spots a guy weirdly dressed as a lizard
>>9620"D'aww"
*hugs cow*
"Let's go spread the word of the stonewell and Football together
>>9622Trumpaladin could only take a sideways picture of the lizard man
>>9623You are the last person to be calling others edgy
>>9626I meant she approves of your blade.
Watch out, she might steal it. >>9620this go for torc too, since you help me protect thez.
>>9618 >>9618Sure, I recommend a wrist-sheath.
Trumpaladin silently wonders to himself, "what is that man dressed for? Is it a birthday party? Did he just want to be silly?" As he waits for Lenos to begin the process of taking the party to Charybdisville or whatever it was called
>>9613GM, after this check, could we fast forward and get to the gate, so that Tracy has some time to gather information?
>>9630As Tracy and... Infernius stand in line, Trump tower slowly floats in the direction of the city, to the amazement of those in line.
>>9629Works for me.
Y'all just be glad I didn't choose a katana
>>9632>As Tracy and… Infernius stand in lineWait, when did he get there?
Great! Now we just have to wait until boarding
>tfw it's open seeting, but there's an order to who is allowed to get on the flight when, and the Tickets the government bought for you have you getting on last or almost last on a completely full aircraft on all three flights, so you have to sit in the very last row, the very front row, or some middle seat
>>9638i notice that hores is not pastel colored.
Tracy begins crafting futbols as she waits, her ki fully charged
>>9645to be chaotic is to love.
>continues to sit at airport
>>9648"Then I can say all the more firmly that *shudders as he says it* Association Football *withholds vomit* is not chaos, but something else. Darker. More evil"
>>9649>Looks for plug to use for charger, but there isn't one >>9648This
Tracy's character in her normal form at this state is Chaotic Neutral.
The truncated icosahedrons, however, are Lawful Evil. >>9652"better hide that from..." *glances over at Inferius* "He'll steal your memes" Trumpaladin whispers to Torucil
>Blog posts on chan site [1d20 = 3]>>9652roll to watch him flip through covertly so i can steal his memes
[1d20 = 11]
Roll to check for new email in the 3 minutes since I last checked it
>>9655>cleric stealingI'm the rogue. Stay to your domain.
Tracy suppresses the urge to go on a killing spree after having waited in line for an hour.
>>9658memes arent real property
>>9659You finally reach the first guard.
"Name?" He completely disregardingly asks.
>WtfKindOfNameDoIUse?
"Ugh... T. Sentry."
>>9662Calling to board section A???
>>9660Infernius should focus on praying to his lord to gain greater faith powers, instead of stealing spells from a different domain.
>>9664">whythefucknot?
"Yes."
>>9661property exists but memes dont fall into that category.
>>9664>>9667I thought you were GM for a moment...!
>>9668You should buy some chicken and make chicken tendies to sacrifice to Kek.