>Mixed NutsTo some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol
>What it doOn weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the ongoing storyline.
>What about me?New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit) or work with existing players and GM to create a new character. Ordinarily we have several side-characters with their own existing backstories, as well as a few player contributions including a very sad Alex Jones or Yak Lee, a literal MLP yak trained as a monk, Taylor Swift,... there's others. If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
Currently the party is facing almost certain death. Thez squares off against Igritchkora of Bog, while the party - and Torcuil in particular - have managed to piss off an entire royal court of devils and demons. They're in hell though, so at least their opponents will politely wait their turn.
Previous initiative tally
>>65413 → +Tracy (27)
881 replies and 26 files omitted.
>>65904>"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT"Snek jumps forward a bit, but Torc waves his hand and Snek suddenly looks like a really good mime.
>"Nevermind...""Now be nice"
>"I was just gonna grab her, nothing bad..."
>>65906"Nuh uh, she's only as tall as me!"
The vein on Thez' forehead is becoming visible.
>>65907"I'll show you, I make the best beef you'll ever taste!" she runs off toward the tower. Thez sighs. "I've got a lot of explaining to do."
[1d20 = 19]>>65908*steps on snek*
>>65909"hey calm down ok? shes had a hard time."
*puts hand on thezs shoulder*
[1d20+25 = 31]>>65910"No, wh-"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"Snek grapples the stepper
>>65911"I have a good idea. Anyway, she's here. Now. And this world is hers. That was the deal."
[1d20+24 = 39]>>65912counter grapple!
Snek successfully wraps around Infernius, who with his superior strength has no difficulty pulling Snek off and tossing him back a few feet. Thez begins to follow after Addy, but pauses to watch the display.
>>65915>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE""Fucking children, the both of ye"
>>65916>>65913"hey me want to help train addy."
*stabs things in holodeck just to get the day started*
>>65918She looks at him a moment. "She's a monk, and with that belt (the one from the future) she's pretty skilled," she warns.
Thez follows after Addy, continuing the conversation.
>>65920*flexes like its jojos bizarre adventure*
>>65922"Well yes, you could beat her hand to hand *or* armed, but I'm the only one who can develop her fists," she thinks for a moment, "I'll have to get Ponimaru to spar with her. Anyway, in the mornings I'll be training her - you're welcome to participate of course - but otherwise she is free to do as she pleases,... without interference from me." she says gritting her teeth.
>>65923Torc and Snek decide to avoid this family conflict by going to grab some food.
>>65923*Bullies ninja-hoers*
>>65923"hmmmmmmmmmm"
*thinking infernuis.png*
Everyone present arrives at the tower. Trump and Stix' absence is noticed, but not unsurprising given the previous evening. Tracy is emerging from the holodeck area with a crazed look on her face, however upon entering the tower and hearing the sound of the birbs, Addy gets an overly excited look on her face, squeals, and runs off toward their area.
>>65927"hey have you seen lenos this morning?"
>>65927"Alright, one breakfast for me, twenty for Snek, anyone else want something?"
>>65928"No, he's probably lying at the bottom of a barrel somewhere."
>>65929The sound of panicked birbs erupts from Addy's departure, as they are not as excited to see them as they are to see her.
>>65929"I do." Tracy says, crawling out of the gym
Rather, they're not as excited to see her as she is to see them.
>>65930"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
*dashes off*
>>65932"addy,tracy doest really like people talking to the birbs."
>>65933Bunbun comes running out, with Addy dangling from her neck, absolutely frantic and almost running over Tracy in her attempt to get away.
>>65931"Well uh, anyone else?"
>>65935Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee
"REEEEEEEEEEEE!"
*Turns into a 4444 pound hoers and stobs them both like a fuzzy road blocker*
"Alright, 21 plates it is"
>"Don't forget my orange juice"
>>65937By that, I mean she lies down horizontal and lets Bunny ram into her flank, like a cushy barricade
>>65939>This is her only non-stabbing based response
>>65937"THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!" Addy hugs Bunbun tighter, "They don't even have their feathers yet! How come you keep them here tho? I mean their place is nice,... but,...."
>>65941>>65935"ADDY GET DOWN!"
>>65942"No u!" she defiantly starts giving Bunbun itches.
[1d20+24 = 40]>>65943*Grapple*
[1d20+17 = 31]>>65941>Is tempted to roll over on Cao's legs like a steamroller"NO Touching!"
Intimidate check
>>65945>Forgot to add size modifiers
[1d20 = 15]
Infernius wraps his arms around Bunbun immobilizing her. She flaps her wings in protest, but can't escape his grip.
Addy harumphs and does a crescent flip off the frightened birb and lands behind Infernius.
[1d20 = 13]>>65947Reeeeeeee nobody touches the birbs, ever!
Tracy makes a trip of opportunity as Infernius moves through her square.
[1d20+24 = 25]>>65948"CHILL OUT MAMA AUTIST."
*Grapple hores*
[3d5 = 11]
In classic form, Infernius' attempt to prevent the trip actually sends him tumbling that many feet away
[1d20+12 = 22]>>65951Tracy grapples the Cao by the scruff and tosses her off of the birb (whomever she's nearly as tall as).
Addy does however do her crescent flip off Bunbun (not behind Infernius anymore cuz).
[1d20+24 = 28]>>65952"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NO HURT ADDY!"
>>65954Lol that doesn't beat her touch AC
Okay. Tracy successfully gets her hooves (or maw) on Addy, but the little shit deftly maneuvers around (tumble) and avoids Tracy long enough to jump gracefully off like I had been trying to get her to the whole time.
>>65959*draws sword*
"leave addy alone thot hores!"
Tracy is visibly beside herself, doing the best to wuickly wipe off the lava streaming from her tearducts before turning to her assaulted birb.
>>65963What's ur attack mod?
Okay. Infernius attempt to stab Tracy, which fails. She towers over him, her frustration visible through her snorts
>>65965>She tower's over himLol no
Infernius's sword merely bounces off of Tracy's black ass, which she ignores, devoting all of her attention to her birb, nuzzling her affectionately.
add +5 AC for combat expertise
"So how come you keep 'em here?" Addy asks Tracy, completely disregarding her irritation.
>>65967*Gives glowing-green stink eye for several long seconds before responding*
"... Mostly, because the food sythesizer is in this building."
>>65968*Hugs birdie*
"It's okay now..."
>>65969"Huh. As long as I had known them, they always stayed at our hideout. There's a whole empty city they can run around in!"
>>65970"...So you say......."
>Is nao turned towards birb
>>65970>>65969"hmm thats a good idea, they would have more room for activities."
"I thought of that myself actually, although I've been way too busy lately even to consider renovating that dump."
*Brushes*
>>65973"me could have some men help."
>>65974"Wasn't that what they were doing after you 'cleaned the place out'? Why'd they stop?"
>>65973"Reno...vate?" Addy asks, an involuntary Muu escaping her lips. She looks at Thez, who waives her hand acceptingly.
>>65975They didn't, but in Addy's future they were stopped.
"Then what are we waiting for?! Let's go fix Durpistan!! I can't wait to see what it looks like now!"
"All the shop and trades are closed for the day,...." Thez comments innocuously. "The only person who might be working today would be Ben, but we need to talk to him for this anyway."
>>65979*Mumbles Fucking Jew*
>>65979"Sure.. I guess.." Tracy grumbles, carefully herding her birb back into her room with her sister
So with complete abandon, and with no restraint or hesitation, Addy runs off again, with absolutely no idea where she's going. Thez sighs.
[1d20 = 20]>>65982*stealthfully follows*
A short while later, everyone is standing outside Ben's jewelry shop.
"So,... where is he?" Addy asks. She asks this, because not only is Ben not in his shop, but his shop is not in his shop. Rather, his shop is empty with occasional scraps of paper lying about and disturbed dust laying about. There's no furniture, nothing. Just an empty building.
>>65985"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING JEW BLEW TOWN!" *From the bushes*
>>65985>>65986>Jew is gone>Shop is cleaned out, including funiture (there was time to pack things up before he disappeared, and the person packing took great care to carefully remove everything of value)>No mention of him at the party, or signs of a fight>Ben Shapiro is a massive fucking (((Zionist))) irlI knew the """""free money""""" from the NPC that just happened to be Jewish would eventually end with something like this.
He's not going to get away easily. The elvenniggers robbing us was an embarrassment, but I'll be damned if I'll just sit and watch the kike liquidate the Port's bank and scurry off without a fight. We agreed to gas him last, but he's still going to the fun camps first.
lenos has been forging this sword axe combo
>>66004he would also be prepping it for enchantment just haven't figured out what enchantment to give it yet
>>66004That's smart
>>66006There's one that allows to to switch through the elemental damages
>>66007whats the name of it
>>66008Energy Aura, arms and equipment 96
Alrighty! Dawn breaks on a new day for the party in question. About three weeks have passed since the return of the party, the grand and spectacular Football game (and afterparty) and the discovery of the absence of Ben Shapiro. In the intervening days, the party has developed in several ways. In the aftermath of the future scape, the group has collectively put their noses to the grindstone to refine their abilities, skills, and equipment. Each person, hoers, and snek has at least something shiny and new, and many have new and exciting techniques and moves to put into play.
In the surrounding community, Thez has built a training center located around the memorial statue. On odd days, one can see Fight Club participants training underneath the very statue which they are commemorated by. Trump has taken a pivotal and decisive role in the development of the port, and the infrastructure has seen significant developments, in spite of the absence of the jew cash cow. Adeline has made several preparations and spoken with technicians throughout the port, and is preparing a group to venture to Durpistan for its renovation and repair. Oh, and she's sporting an oversized plate of carmelized onions and potatos.
>>66011What clues were Tracy/Infernius able to find on Ben?
Infernius was going to spam all his divination spells, and then try to find Ponimaru.
>>66012Birdies are brushed.
In addition to Trump taking a presiding
ahem role in Port Barry, both in light of what had occurred to it in his absence and to alleviate the burden that was to have been returned to Sechs (who only recently started breathing again), Thez had opted to have Trump Tower's location moved. It would have been detailed in dialogue, but the intention was (and is) that Thez is no longer to take an active role in the party. In response to this, the Tower is now situated several thousand feet in the air in a location directly between Port Barry and Durpistan.
Blueprints and designs have been laid out for Infernius' ranch, which was spurred on by the return of Doge, who spent many hours wandering in circles (they weren't actually circles, he kept blinking around) until GM had pity on him and dropped him conveniently outside Port Barry.
Well then, Infernius is able to quickly ascertain that Ben is currently located in Court City. He left Port Barry immediately after the party departed for Cardashil, requiring no time to prepare (meaning, premeditation).
>>66016Locate Object, Greater Scrying, Discern Location... etc
So the current issues that face the party are thus:
There's the issue of Ben. There's the issue of Court City as a whole (and the change in stance between them and Cardashil). There's the Sil wall, beyond which is the elusive threat of Zion. There's those strange pirates who attacked that one time thanks for the ride bitches!, there's the elvenniggers who keep jacking shit, not to mention what may be developing in Cardashil, Sparintenar, and Krenshall,... and that's without having explored the entirety of the empire.
>>66019Maybe it'd be a good idea to go find the Zionists and slit some throats...
>>66020I hope you don't think it will be that simple
I guess Tracy's first priority would be to make sure her birbs are safely relocated.
reeeeeee i want my treasure back from the elvenziggers damn it
Adeline however, neither knows nor cares about such things, and is instead ready to venture to Durpistan in a full-sized camper-wagon loaded with cooking supplies. Don't act surprised.
"They'd be much happier in a big open city!" Addy implores Tracy, wrt the birbs.
>>66024>Iz slightly less than enthusiastic to go back to CardishilYeah, better find them before they spend it all..
Meanwhile *in* Trump tower, Thez is busy pouring through the library, looking for any piece of information she can glean or use. At this time however, a rather tell-tale WHOOOOSH sound occurs from the character's rooms, indicating the arrival of somebody *new*.
>>66025(Is that the wagon Slovenia built?)
The new player in question finds himself in a blank room with dark glassy surfaces. He's seated on a bed structure, also made out of this glass. There is a chest of sorts at the base of the bed (again, glass), and a single door is the only other remarkable aspect to the room.
>>66025>>66028*pulls wagon to abandoned gulag*
>>66028Uhm,... idk about *the* one,... its not the death wagon if that's your question, I had forgotten about that.
>>66032I meant the one big enough for her birbs.
Gets out of the bed and checks the chest
"Snek, prepare my airship"
>"When did you become my general?"
"Just get ready to head somewhere"
>"Where?"
"To be determined"
Torc and Snek head out of the holodeck, having finishing the last of their training.
>>66033No, not that one
>>66034Empty
>>66035Thez is pouring through books. The whoosh technically hasn't quite happened yet, but give it a sec.
>>66036"Hey Thez, anything interesting?"
>>66036Okay then.
Would the tower have landed in Durpistan so they could be dropped off?
>>66038Well, anyway, after settling her birbs (however she got them there), Tracy would be nosing around Duristan.
>>66038No, its at a centralized location, accessable (assuming one can fly) but not landed. There is an airship tho.
>>66037"Not really, I still can't figure out what happened. What I
do know defies my understanding of the workings of the magic in question."
Goes to door and tries to open it
>>66040Okay then.
Somewhere, within the 3 week period, Tracy would've brought her birbs to the abandoned gulag.
[1d4+15 = 16]Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are interrupted by the tell-tale sound of one of Lenos' fire-traps going off.
>>66043His surroundings are suddenly and inexplicably engulfed in flame causing that much damage. The room smells a bit of burned hair. Outside the door, along a blank wall is a scorched sign that says "Please don't firetrap the rooms"
>>66040"Yeah, I'm not even gonna try to understand what happened. Lemme know if you need any help though"
>>66046Boom"Uh, oh yeah. I know that sound"
By elf women balls what is this
>>66047Thez nods and sighs. "Its on you, my hands are tied,..."
>>66046Tracy is brushing her birbs in the city.
Runs hands on glass and looks for cracks.
>>66052There are no cracks or seams. It is surgically precise
Checks for surgery scars and kidneys.
>>66049"Huh? Okay..."
Torc heads up to see what nutcase is joining them this time.
>>66056Nope, he's unmarked and whole
Grumbles down the hall brushing off soot
>>66061Entering the hallway, he sees identical doors to the door he came from - all closed - with a single door on either end of the hallway.
Head out of the door, proceeding cautiously.
Walks to end of hall and looks around the corner
As the door opens, and just like with Gruu'mac, the room fills with flame for a moment. This all occurs within view of Gruu'mac, who had just entered the hallway.
>>66062And soon, a figure clad in tartan robes walking down the hallway.
"Hello?"
He's then followed by a giant snake
hearing 2 booms lenos starts laughing as he knows there is freshmeat for his traps
Readies tower shield. Whuts ya Bidnes!
[1d4+15 = 19]
So as the flames from the second firetrap subside, we have a black-armored figure standing in a hallway, a half-elf still in the room, and from one of the far doors, a human and a 30' snake.
Meanwhile, Torcuil arrives at the hallway, and can currently see a blackened-armored humanoid with wisps of smoke trailing off them.
The snake has a Pinochet hat, and a pair of sunglasses on, and is carrying a pistol with his tail, which is pointed at whatever he's looking at.
State ya name and rank humie
>>66076The orc spits at the tartan human, standing next to Snek
>>66073"Uh hello there-"
>>66076"Torcuil, Admiral of the Gestapo. Yourself?"
Torc gestures to Snek to be ready as he prepares a fireball.
Gruu mac
Slaps chest with flat side of axe.
Corporal in black orc brigade
>>66079"Orc?"
>"OOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK"Torc realizes he hasn't seen an orc yet in this land.
>>66080"Excuse me, this is Trump Tower. There are some who can explain where we are better than I"
>>66082"So they're not hostile then? Good." a voice says from beyond Torcuil.
>>66083Nothing to detect
*sighs forlornly* damn i was hoping to try out my new sword
>>66084"Well, not yet at least. Follow me"
Torc turns around and heads back, Snek just sits there.
[1d20+4 = 9]
Heads towards the noise, wiping ash off himself.
Follows torque eye ing the snake thing suspiciously
>>66089"Let's see; there's me, Snek, Trump, Stix, Tracy, Infernius, Thez, and a couple others."
As this is occurring, a half-elf enters the hallway from near where Gruu'mac is standing. He seems to have wiped most of the singe, but he obviously has just been scorched as well.
>>66089A <whooooof> sound from behind him is all that announces to him the entrance of someone behind him, who with a female's voice (the same who commented on hostility) speaks, "Here, a few. Elsewhere, there are many. Though, we few are more than the many."
>>66093"So what's up with all the mystics and shit Thez?"
Torc notices the half-elf
"Another one?"
Spins quickly and sets shield from being startled
*heads for the bar to get his tankard and start drinking* well ill have to find someone to test my new weapon on soon
Tracy, after putting her birbs to sleep, gets up and priwls the perimeter of the gulag in stealth, exploring the walls for what needs to be fixed
>>66098The damage is structural and intensive, mostly of neglect and incompetent workmanship. Its not a lost cause though
[1d20+35 = 45]
Snek takes the opportunity of Thez distracting everyone to hide amongst the walls.
>>66096"Easy there, I just showed up this way cuz I'm lazy, there's no threat here."
"Grunts"
Follows the human again
>>66100And somehow, an otherwise obvious 30' Snek seems to have vanished
>>66099"I've lived in worse." Tracy says, trotting along (silently)
For player's reference, cuz they wanted to know how that works
>>66104After circling the perimeter several times, Tracy decides to look into the cave/mine.
>>66103Wait until Torc remembers the ring in his pocket.
>>66102"Let's find Lenos first"
"I'll give you guys the short version. You died. Congratulations, you're not dead. We're not your enemy, we're kind of like a loose assortment of allies-ish, and we have plenty of enemies so please keep the beating of one another to a minimum. Its not prohibited, it just complicates things."
So Lenos simply went to get booze, so finding him would be momentary. Shall we assume Torcuil and co are in the mess area?
Hrrrrmmm. Dat dorf hit hader den I thot
>>66106*Checks how deep the mine goes*
So, we are all stuck in a bad situation, so let's get along?
Goes to massage singed half elf
Meanwhile, Tracy is investigating the ruins of Durpistan. Having rehoused the birbs there during the 3 week period, she has fully moved in and come to reside there, probably without really saying anything to anyone, cuz she's got that antisocial mentality.
"Its really not much different from what I remember,... I'm sure we can make it super awesome!"
For some time, Addy has taken to following Tracy for some reason. This both irritates the crap out of, and secretly amuses Tracy.
>>66114nope its a good situation we are in valhalla we get to fight and DRINK all day
>>66113The mine has a cave-in relatively early in its tunnel system. There's rotten and dessicated remains of commies.
Dis wont be so bad, easier if ya dont fight
Shrugs off orc. You stink of seabass...
>>66117*Ears twitch involuntarily realizing she's being followed again*
[sighing hoers noises]
Was there anything worth mentioning in the mines?
Friends! Not fuck buddies ya stank ass orc!