>Mixed NutsTo some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol
>What it doOn weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the ongoing storyline.
>What about me?New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit) or work with existing players and GM to create a new character. Ordinarily we have several side-characters with their own existing backstories, as well as a few player contributions including a very sad Alex Jones or Yak Lee, a literal MLP yak trained as a monk, Taylor Swift,... there's others. If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
Currently the party is facing almost certain death. Thez squares off against Igritchkora of Bog, while the party - and Torcuil in particular - have managed to piss off an entire royal court of devils and demons. They're in hell though, so at least their opponents will politely wait their turn.
Previous initiative tally
>>65413 → +Tracy (27)
881 replies and 19 files omitted.
Well, Torc has successfully pissed of a devil.
This should end well
>>65424Trunpaladin attempts to tweet out
"Bogandoff's claim to hell is as fake as his science papers. Let's see that birth certificate! #MakeHellGreatAgain"
General layout. Red is the party's formation, Thez and Bog are above, the ziggurat is beyond, and the curvy orange line is the court. Don't let that its a line suggest there's not lots of them. There's hundreds. And emerging from near-abouts where Torcuil sent the chain-lightning emerges from the crowd a very tall and slender fiend, his features more yellowish than the conventional red. His wings flutter about him like a cloak, and he moves gracefully. "And here I wasn't even going to involve myself in this little skirmish, but now you've gone and violated my NAP," he says drawing out a sinister and twisted (literally) looking rapier made out of what appears to be molded and beaten obsidian. "Now you must answer to Dru'tZil of House Kyrshar."
"But I'll be a sport about it! I'll give you to the count of three," he says with supreme confidents, as a handful of other devils fill in around him, evidently of the same house by their coloration. "One."
>>65426Tracy, with her invisible sword drawn and her mantle aflutter, holds a concealed object to Infernius and Whispers something to him.
>>65427She takes a step in Torc's direction, ready to guard him.
>>65430"Gonna stay out of it my fucking ass"
Record-scratching sound
>>65434
If you want, I can write you in right now,... but you're not going to like it if I do
>>65437Elaborate. Sympathy is a specific type of spell.
>>65436If you're not opposed, start by rolling a d20
>>65439Nice roll Mr. Laughter. You'll be early in the order.
>>65440K, so intending to effect the devils present. In what capacity is it being cast? To draw them away from the party, to keep them in position?
Also, is anyone else doing anything?
>>65441I cast it on tracys concealed object. And to draw them.
>>65442Torc is yelling at the devil.
Waiting...
>>65442I call the devil that wants to >rape torc a faggot.
>>65437And with that, Tracy whips an object out from beneath her cloak and shows it to the crowd.
>pic relWith all her might, she draws back and kicks the flashing white-and-black sphere to the edge of the crowd before the devils.
>>65441Both, tbh.
I meant it like a banana-kick, but the purpose is to distract any demons not buff enough to resist the save, and cause chaos among the otherwise carefully-planned devils.
>>65443Interesting choice. Alright
fugging calculations, on the ball I assume? Roll a d20 + 17
>>65444Yelling what?
>>65445Noted
>>65446*devils not buff enough
>>65448A lot of devils have spell resistance and high Will saves, but they'll be pissed when the others stop following orders and/or jump into a massive dogpile screaming "My precious!"
>>65450Bloody hell..!
>>65446So like an overhead volley kick sorta thing?
>>65448k
>>65450Maybe you should use the room dice? Or the script Atlas is using?
>>65455I'm having a hard time believing the impartiality of our dice system...
>>65455Yeah, arching like a curve-ball, with intention to fly over the heads of as many devils as possible spinning tantalizingly before planting itself somewhere within the ranks.
>>65456Much better. ^_^
>>65460Nice try, but no.
Alright. Torcuil and Infernius spit epithets at Dru'tZil, the latter after doing his thing to the ball. Lenos and Kiynen flap their wings, poised in a defensive fighting position, their tails lashing menacingly.
And then Tracy does her thing.
The entire collection, and I mean
virtually the *entire* collection of devils look up at the ball as it sails magestically overhead. Almost like those green guys from Toy Story, an echoing "Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh," reverberates from the whole crowd.
"Two," Dru'tZil says, his eyes darting to the ball for a moment, not realizing that the entirety of the mob, including the several devils that were moving to his side, are now lumbering away toward the ball.
As the mob centers around the ball and away from their previous position, a number of well suited and distinctive fiends stand there in a variety of dramatic poses. One wonders how long they have been standing there waiting for the opportunity, given that none of them shifted position for effect.
Moves?
[1d20 = 8]
Addy taps Thez' staff 3x against the ground, causing shadows to stretch, loom, and linger over the area. Its not sufficient to grant concealment, but it does,... wait, where did she go?
>>65464Torc casts eagle's splendor upon himself
>>65464I'd assume that mostly consumed Tracy's action.
She steps back towards Torc and Infernius, preparing to guard them in the upcoming melee.
>>65466"Shhhh"
>>65468That action was last round. "Two" is the next round.
As this is going on, Bog raises his Unholy Aura, his massive form seeming to waft black-ish flames, darkening in a sinister manner.
Thez however casts Shield on herself.
>>65469Tracy begins fighting defensively, preparing to guard Torc and Infernius as a readied action, and using her cloak to conceal herself until her next action, with her invisible sword poking out somewhere along the side.
She sizes up the oncoming bad boiz up ahead, and prepares to leap into a flanking position if any of them come towards the casters.
>>65472
That spell is gonna' last 34 hours.
Go play the 4cc anthem to them as they wrestle for the ball.
>>65472
Strumming intensely, as he has no idea what is going on, Rethgual stares at the strange and darkly robed form in front of him. He has no idea what is going on, so he continues to strum, as he is good at it, and it always seems to calm him. As he looks at the robed figure, a beeping sound occurs. The figure sighs, and reaches out a skeletal hand with a device strapped to the bony wrist. "Oh what is it now?" says an irritated woman's voice.
>>65473Yeah, I know. It was a brilliant move, and with that caster-level check, everyone short of pit fiends are now starting to fight over the ball.
>>65474I hope she's gets a good bonus for all those extra hours she's been putting in.
>>65470Also, Torc has the shield and blinking activated>>65476Kek
>>65477I don't follow your meaning, and you didn't follow my foreshadowing (I don't think)
Torc whispers to Infernius a bit, asking a bit of a favor.
>>65480I meant I hope Death's employer has been treating her fairly for putting in all these overtime hours over the past 15 years.
[1d20+30 = 48]
A <klack> sound resounds from Addy's former position.
"Three," says DZ.
And with a wink, he is acrobatically vaulting over the party, and engaging a precise strike on Torcuil.
>>65482Oh, so you did catch that
>>65483I'll start the funeral planning
>>65484>>65482>>65474>Torcuil snaps through 100 4th walls"Did someone mention Death?"
>>65483That could hurt...
Tracy was guarding him, can she make an attack of opportunity to flank him?
>>65428You still here?
>>65489Ah, good, because the melee is about to get intense.
>>65481"Hmm,okay me can do that"
*bestow curse to Dru'tZil(con)*
"Reeeee no one hits him but me!"
>>65476"Hell? What the fuck for?" the robed figure says in front of Rethgual. "Oh well, you can come too then," she says, muttering something about sharing a taxi.
Grabbing him roughly by the shoulder, Rethgual is pulled through a singularity, which I'll leave it to the imagination as to what its like.
>>65485Ouch. I don't even need to roll.
>>65487Well, he's in the *middle* of a teleport-augmented acrobatic charge, so not so much.
As his wicked sword - which is barbed in both directions, so it shreds as it enters and exits - stabs a full 2/3rd the length (so, about 2'+)
through Torcuil, DZ twirls over Kiynen, who opportunistically tail slaps.
>>65492>throughBy that, do you mean because of the blinking, o because Torc just liquefied?
>>65492"Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this..."
>dies>"I feel a disturbance in the force"
[1d2 = 2]With a slight force effect, her tail swishes just by the strange swashbuckling devil, as he twirls gracefully in the air, to land on the left side of the party.
Meanwhile Bog fires a pair of fireballs effortlessly at Thez. One speeds toward while the other lazily rounds at her. She tumbles gracefully away from the first, with the second veering in for a face-shot <whoof> which explodes ineffectively in the air, Thez appearing 30 yards to the perpendicular angle.
>>65493Oh, right. I forgot about that.
Oh shit. The appearance of the blade passing through Torcuil, and his experience of ripped and torn flesh was in fact sympathy pain, as Torcuil witnessed a refractive image of himself getting impaled, while he was safely inches away
>>65497HA-HA
>"Meh, false alarm"Does Torc get an
Attack spell of opportunity?
>>65497The meme man lives another round.
[1d20+11 = 12]
Gear-cuff to the rescue, Torcuil was just narrowly not-killed. Stix and Snek get AoO, as well as Tracy (ranged) and,... well,....
What appears to be a spinning golden disk darts out of the shadows where Addy was.
I don't even know how to interpret that. For one, its a pair of dubs. For two, its either 1 11 or its 111 or,...
>>65500When did Snek get there?
Stix and Snek get Attacks of Opportunity
One of these days we'll do the Side Adventures of Mr. Snek
[1d20+11 = 21]>>65504Okay okay.
Rollin
>>65505Sounds fun
[1d20+26 = 36]>>65500Tracy, lashes at his flank with her chain, intent on leaving him a nice litte cutie mark, if she doesn't disembowel him.
[1d20 = 12]>>65503Stix attacks
>>65507Holy shit, that flanking makes all the difference.
>>65508>>65506>>65507Attacks dart out from arrow, bullet, and chain. The former two strike solidly, though the arrow falls to the ground, unable to pierce the fiend's hide. The chain makes contact, gashing as DZ finishes his acrobatic charge.
>>65510You immediately materialize in a vastly wide and tall chamber. To your right is a skinny fellow in yellow. Heh, I didn't even plan that one. To your left is that darkly robed person you saw moments ago. What the fuck is going on?
>>65506"
YOU?"
To the party's surprise, Death has appeared, in this case touting a bard. A most insistent bard, I will say, who absolutely couldn't wait until we got back to nice-ville and wanted to spawn in literal hell. Beat's the heck out of a fire-trap entrance, I'll say that much
>>65512"DEATH?"Torc just about dies from happiness
Then just about dies when he realizes she's fucking pissed.
>>65512~Yay.
Flank-flank motherfucker.
"These guys are gonna kick your ass, you know that right?" says an emo-looking she-devil. Another chad-looking devil nods silently. Addy's throw, which almost stabbed Infernius in the leg, clangs to the ground in the distance, and then through force effect, levitates off the ground and drifts toward a section of shadow where Addy was. An excited clapping sound resonates from the area.
>>65512"HI I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE HOW ARE YOU"
[guitar playing intensifies]
[d20 = 18]
>>65515"Thanks for the encouragement Honey, so how are you?"
>>65516And like an unbidden mariachi, this bard fellow jumps into song. It may not be to the player's taste, but to the character, its catchy. Makes you feel like,... well,...
>>65518That wasn't from death, that's from one of the remaining fiends. This one looks like a thickly spined emo-chick with way too much makeup.
>>65518That wasn't her speaking
And by spines, I mean her whole body. "Like, go ahead an TRY and touch me asshole,...."
>hair tossing and dismissive gesturing intesifies
>>65520>she-devilI just saw this and I have a single response for my autism;
Je veux mortir
>>65515"Reeeeee that was too close!"
>>65520"Prepare for >rape"
>>65524"Jeh, vow mortar? What the fuck?" You're being laughed at now.
>>65523*tosses mane reflexively*
>>65526>You're being laughed at nowNot that I'm unfamiliar with the feeling, but that wasn't To-
Nevermind, wasting my breath.
Are the devils within 60ft?
Thez casts Mage Armor on self. Bog stops and begins laughing.
"Do you really think to stop me with first level magic? This is beyond the most absurd thing that has ever been conceived."
"Shut up and fight."
Bog casts Dispel Magic on area. Thez' 2 simple spells wink out ineffectively.
>>65528Not quite,
Slows playing to a gentle harmonic
"Whats going on here who are you people whats with the giant banana why was my body one with the cosmos???"
[d20 = 6]
>>65526"Lets see if you understand this, me am going to keep you as a sex slave goth bitch."
>>65531"Focus, bull..!" Tracy grows through the weapon in her maw
Skidding to the ground in a dramatic skid comes DZ, the swashbuckling devil, swishing moaningly with his rapier (the moaning both an effect of the souls trapped within it, as well as the manner in which the barbs cut the air. For reference, think that urn of souls thing from Kung Fu Panda
>>65524"I don't know what's going on, but I've got a contract to claim,
here. When you're
done implying Torcuil is dying maybe could I have a word?" Death whispers.
>>65534Cool sword.
I want it.
>>65534"Yeah no that's fine, it may be a little bit though. We gotta overthrow the kingdom of hell"
This isn't another mummy situation is it?
>>65534D-did he land close?
Thez casts True Strike on self. A flickering aura of tiny embers dances around her body. Bog laughs dismissively. "And what do you think will result of this action?"
Bog casts Invisibility, and vanishes.
"Do you think that you're going to just hit me, and then everything will be well. Look at those that your friends are engaging. Do you think this will go well for them? And what of your daughter? You have done well to hide this, but you must appreciate what is her overwhelmingly probable fate?"
>>65536Worse, though not nearly as bad as it could have been. That Sanctuary truncated icosahedron did sway things significantly. By the way, there have been deaths from among the devils who are still fighting over that.
>>65538>That Sanctuary truncated icosahedron did sway things significantlyYep, uh-huh I totally know what you are talking about.
>>65539>scared
>>65538Bog's laying down the trash talk with no let-up.
>>65540He means the ball idea was good thinking.
Now we only have to deal with the uber-bosses while everyone else in the fucking castle is held-up in a mortal combat clusterfuck over a single ball.
>>65543Not really. That 20 means someone popped the ball.
>>65544REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>65543Ah, yep totally got that.
>>65544Fuck
That erstwhile entirely-distracted mob of devils is now looking around, searching for something to distract themselves with, to lessen the pain of the pretty ball that once was and is no more.
[1d20+30 = 45]>>65548In a manner not dissimilar to the hoard of blacks some time ago, the devils begin to swarm and surge toward the party.
As they do so, DZ attempts another teleporting, acrobatic charge, attacks, this time spinning over Lenos in his departure.
As DZ appears behind Torcuil and thrusts his most wicked of rapiers through the other's chest from behind, pausing during the impalement to venture close and whisper, "No offense mate," he then draws the rapier from Torcuil in a dramatic stance, waiving any further motion. DZ now stands at the center of the party, Torcuil in dying at his feet. Stix and Snek get attacks of opportunity. I never filled in about Snek did I? Snek is peeking out of a ventilation shaft in the roof. From both ends, including pistol.
[1d20+38 = 53]
*lenos tries to swat dz out of the air with his tail*
[1d20 = 6]>>65553Another attack.... however an arrow is supposed to help, I don’t know...
[1d20+11 = 28]>>65553Snek fires as well as he can through the red mist.
>>65556Dat pali
And wtf happened to the quads?
The shadows where Addy was take form for a moment, swinging Thez' quarterstaff at DZ's legs ineffectively. Snek fires, which is deflected by some shiny black metal things on DZ's shoulders. With his wings wide in a dominant gesture, DZ is a skinny fiend in a pompous gambeson embroidered and detailed in an intricately elaborate fashion. Its moderately disturbing in overall aesthetics, but it maintains a degree of regality.
>>65553I think I kind of like DZ..
Others immediately surrounding DZ's position can take attacks of opportunity, or adjust initiative.
>>65561"... Nice blade.." Tracy says, the words falling out of her mouth involuntarily as she watches Torc's blood drip off of the rapier
>>65563>>65561Can i summon Adolf Hitler as a AOO?
[2d20 = 32]>>65563After taking an atosecond to admire his equipment, Tracy makes two rapid thrusts at him, flanking him with her own rapier, both with a +26 modifier.
DZ wipes his blade on his wings. "I hope there won't be any retaliation. It was business, after all."
Torcuil meanwhile, collapses in a heap.
At this point, almost anyone can take action. I'm venturing away from a turn-based system, and more basing it off player input. If a character is attempting to do too many things at once, I'll say something.
>>65566~Ooh, flanking crit!
>>65565You mean with Gate?
[1d20+11 = 15]>>65564"R-really Tracy?"
>>65567Snek decides it's time to shoot again
Thez meanwhile, is watching Torcuil die in a pool of his own blood, while Bog taunts her from an indiscernable location.
"You see? This was a fool's venture. Surely you must have known that this could never turn out for you? Except, no you
couldn't have known that could you? You were not
here. Well then. I'll let you in on a secret."
"This was our wish," Bog says, appearing next to Thez.
>>65565In what world does attack=summon?
>>65567Tracy just landed two Sneak attacks, and would continue to do as much damage as she can while she still can.
[4d20 = 26]>>65567Full-round sneak attack, if she has the time.
>>65571[1d20 = 14]I go for a stab with my sword then.
>>65574how do you use that system?
[1d20+17 = 29]>>65561"You know what goes great with a second attempt to kill the mage? Football. That's right. America's favorite goddamn pastime besides racism, frivolous litigation, and gun violence. Whether it's your Monday night line up, your plans to impress that chick you wanted to bang in high school, the list of reasons your father is disappointed in you, or your favorite moments with Tommy Wisseu, Football goes great with everything"
Tosses a Football at the devil
>>65573I mean... Meh?
>>65578Oh, look what the demons dragged in
no offense meant, kick their ass
Okay *this* is a melee. D&D makes melee seem like an orderly sequence of events, but no. Its a whole shit-ton of things happening at almost the same time, but in quarter-second increments.
>>65573Wow
>>65574Whats his BAB + STR?
>>65578A thundering sound echoes in the distance, through the walls and structures of the Bog balas. XDDDD
>>65580.... So.. Did she do some major damage before fucking up? She's got Deadly Precision..
>>65577[1 d 20] no spaces
[1d20+38 = 40]
*seeing torc die lenos roars and slashes at dz with his claws*
>>65566The chain strangely darts away and connects with those strange things on his shoulder. Her strike with the rapier connects successfully.
>>65583Lenos is breaking formation, despite the wave of devils about to attack?
[1d20+38 = 40]>>65584Sorry no i forgot how fare away he was
>>65580Trumpaladin smiles at the noise
"Sounds like your daddy is coming back to give you all those lessons in catch you missed as children."
>>65586>>65583What are the odds?
>>65588Of 2 2s, 1 in 400. Of any two numbers being repeated, 1 in 20
>>65584Hissing with rage, Tracy whirls her cloak to conceal herself, and makes another double-thrusting sneak attack with her invisible rapier.
[2d20 = 17]
>>65590I have no idea what I just rolled...
>>65585In a glorious arc of flame
cuz somehow Infernius remembered to ignite his sword DZ takes a swing from Infernius.
>>65590You can't double-attack with a single weapon
>>65592It's quickened though, right? 1 extra melee attack.
>>65592Did he attempt to catch the ball or did he come from a broken home with no father figure to learn how to play catch from?
[1d20 = 14]
DZ leaps dice feet in the air, and begins to gracefully fly/twirl using Technique; Device-enhanced Dramatic Acrobatic Parry.
[3d20+30 = 65]>>65597Had a +13 modifier on it, except I fugged the spacing. It was a 27' jump, spinning gracefully toward the ground and getting/causing attacks of opportunity.
Attacks are against Kiynen, Infernius, and Stix.
>>65597Freaking duelists..
*sarcastic grin*
>>65598"Fuck you twig boi!"
[1d20 = 3]
>>65594Actually, he sidesteps the football.
Those attacks don't have a 30 modifier actually, its +25, +20, +15, etc since they're successive attacks. So, 30, 36, 29 to K, I, and S
Meanwhile, Torcuil is rapidly bleeding out.
[1d20 = 17]>>65601Fires again
>>65602Wait, he's alive?!
Seeing this, Tracy pokes him desperately with her curing wand.
Also, the aforementioned (K, I, and S) also get AoO of their own.
>>65601"I see why you dance around up there like an underemployed ballerina. If you were down here, your ass would be beaten as quickly as Jeb!"
>>65602Lay of hands to restore 1 point of HP to Torcuil
>>65605Cure critical wounds on the autist
>>65604Well yeah, unless the person is horribly maimed/disfigured, you can usually heal them immediately after getting mauled and be okay. Death takes a round or two to set in, often.
>>65606This draws a sneer from his face.
>>65609Tracy makes sure the neat is stabilized, using her cloak to conceal the two of them for a few seconds.
[3d8 = 19]>>65608K
"Okay, this is just getting pathetic." Goth devil says.
Casts Cone of Cold, Maximized.
Roll reflex (dice 1d20+dex) saving throws, everyone
>>65609"I'm guessing your dance moves aren't any more impressive to the men than they are to us, otherwise you'd be out in the clubs in the Castro right now"
[1d20+8 = 25]
Stix’ reflex
>>65612"Hell is in Miami?"
>>65611REEEEEEEEEEEE
[1d20+8 = 18]
[1d20+15 = 31]>>65611"Coming from the expert on Pathetic. I've seen better moves from feverish homeless people dodging traffic in Washington. Better clothing too. Sad!"
>>65612[confused pony noises]
[2d20 = 25]>>65613Easily and effortlessly avoids a chilling wave of frigid energy, alongside Tracy with equal ease.
Infernius manages to jump aside, leaving Kiynen, Torcuil, Snek, and Addy. Dice is K and A
>>65617>>65615The Castro is San Fransisco's gayest gay district. The point is that if he were any good at being a duelist, he'd be trying to pick up gay men there
>>65621Well, I know that first part, I just figured Tracy wouldn't have any clue what he meant.
Frost growing along her scales and wings, Kiynen shrugs off the effects of the spell. Not uninjured, but not too bothered.
Meanwhile, that bard fellow is still standing there, and Death is patiently waiting for Torcuil to decide if he's dead or alive, since he just got hit by another spell (reflex save)
>>65624It's 2:30 where we are. He probably passed out after thinking he was dead.
it's getting late...
>>65624"Oh please. I get a cooler blast of air from opening my freezer door. You couldn't keep ice cream from melting in the summertime."
[1d20+2 = 19]>>65625We can semi-retire for the night. Dice is Torcuil's save. Save or not, the party made it to the initial threshold I pre-rolled for and can engage the denouement scenario/fight. Kudos (read bonus XP) to Tracy/Infernius for the
ricegame-ball no jutsu, that was one of those role-playing moves I was talking about that can totally sway the result.
>>65624"What a frigid bitch"
>>65628[laughs and slaps knee]
>>65627Well, I gotta pass out nao
Goodnight faggots
Even still bleeding, Torcuil has the presence of mind to escape the wave of cold. The perpetrator is one of three praying-mantis-lookin-motherfuckers, except they're blue and they're in midair and they're just kinda flying there. At the same time a handful of giant gargoyle-lookin' things flutter their wings angrily, the effects of the charm wearing off to their extreme dissatisfaction. A number of black shadows dart this way and that, as well as some whisps of steam. The party finds its self again surrounded on almost all sides, an open space between themselves and Thez, who still stands there listening to her surroundings, waiting for her opportunity.
>>65630Night, it's gonna be description, cinematics, and embellishment from here on, until tomorrow
[1d20+38 = 42]
*having dodged the cone of cold lenos leaps at dz to attack*
>>65631"That DZ fellow ran faster away from us than Bill Clinton at the sight of Chris Hansen. Who wants to get beat next?"
\r
>>65633Vaulting through the air to avoid the oncoming spell and unleashing his full draconic fury on DZ, Lenos performs a Death-From-Above maneuver.
DZ>Quickened Improved Teleport
Unfortunately, Lenos comes crashing to the ground, absent a target. From above and semi-flanking DZ appears with a swish sound.
"Hummmm. I guess there is Dragons," says the Chad devil.
"Oh yes, I had already decided to attack, I just hadn't said anything yet, for strategy," says a waif-ish devil.