>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,… love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,….).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). Ordinarily we have several side-characters with their own existing backstories, as well as a few player contributions including a very sad Alex Jones or Yak Lee, a literal MLP yak trained as a monk. If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
For the time being the party has successfully conquered the Gigajew, and through the tunnels beneath has all-kinds-of tortured to almost death (there will be more) James Alefantis and several patrons/staff of Comet Ping Pong. Through this tunnel network, there is only one direction to go, and that is the upper path, which seems to lead toward the usurped Trump Tower.
1021 replies and 18 files omitted.
>>65177"Shhhh!"
*sweat drips*
Does the door close or what?
>>65176One of the flesh-bags nods.
The doors close as the elevator section fills with flesh-bags. I did say it was like 20. They fill and start jabbering to one another about "Pawn Stars" and other random things. Eventually, as the elevator goes wherever its going (it feels to shift up, to the left, and then back down again) the one fleshbag who nodded earlier walks up and says. "Hibbity hooblah."
Fun fact: the close door button on an elevator doesn't actually do anything. It's only there for comfort; to make passengers feel like they have more control over the elevator.
>>65180"Hibbity, jibbity, Swamp Loggers."
[2d20 = 16]>>65182"Hoooblah?!?!?!" says the flesh-bag, and not just him. A ripple of "Hibbity!" "Hooblah!" and "Hibbity Hooblah!" ripples outward. The one fleshbag contorts its face, and screeches, "
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
Roll for initiative.
Tracy is the upper circle, on the right is a data screen-looking thing, and theres 11 fleshbags on either side
>>65183I thought they'd like that show...
[1d20 = 14]>>65183Stix initiative
[1d20+7 = 15]
Praise Epona for Uncanny Dodge
"Looks like these guys hate History channel as much as I do" Tracy hisses, clutching her defending dagger in her mouth
>>65186Tracy has about 5 attacks of opportunity
Stix has 3 attacks of opportunity
[5d20 = 50]>>65187With the sword, in a whirling frenzy
>>65189each of those should have a +24 modifier
>>65189The fleshbags part easily and readily, falling into a rapidly decomposing pile of filth not unlike what was coming out of the waste chute.
>>65191Tracy's nose wrinkles, but she remains focused
"Does anyone else want some!?" she screams at the remaining flesh-bags
>>65189How are you claiming a +24 attack? The base attack of a level 13 Rogue is +9, and 4 levels of duelist adds +4. You never listened Weapon Finesse as one of your feats, but if you had, that only adds +5 for 18. And then the cane sword was described as having a +2 enchantment for a total of +20
Meanwhile, Snek emerges from the waste disposal tube at a hub of such tubes, each with distinguishable odors emanating from them. This hub seems located in a centralized point, near the inside of the wall. There are two fleshbags on hand who do not detect Snek in any conceivable way.
[3d20 = 21]>>65188Three attacks with +4
>>65193The sword is +2? Hmm, it's less than the chain then.
[1d20+10 = 24]>>65194Snek hides real quick, waiting to see if anything else shows up
>>65195One fleshbag gets its face kicked in, while another takes an arrow to the dome. There are currently 13 fleshbags in the room, staring freakishly. Tracy has cleared all the ones adjacent to her, and she has initiative.
>>65197Nothing else presents its self. The two fleshbags seem to be performing some sort of repetitive task. One of them mentions something to the other about Honey Boo Boo, or some such nonsense.
[1d20 = 6]>>65198Tracy steps threateningly towards the fleshbags, stepping around the piles of ooze
"You bitches want some?!" she shouts, her sword pointed out in front of her
Intimidate
[1d20-10 = 5][1d20+14 = 29]>>65199Snek decides to try a terrible idea.
Sniping.
+14 is the attack roll, -10 is the subsequent hide check
>>65200Intimidate fail, but initiative maintained
Stix is next
Meanwhile, at the expanse otherwise seeming to be a gate, Thez stands there with her arms crosse. "I'm sorry about this, but there are certain norms that are requisite, at least initially. I can't just kick the door in. Besides, I imagine that Football may have a significant role to play in this."
[3d20 = 28]>>65202I heard it said that all you need to fix life’s troubles is duct tape, barbed wire, and arrows. Well... I may have added that last part.
Stix fires 3 arrows at the next target. 9/4/4
>>65204One arrow skimming off a bag, the other two hit their targets with precision. 5 bags rush in from the right, 6 from the left. Tracy gets another 5 attacks of opportunity, Stix another three, and at the end of the round (if she wants) she can still choose her action, since she's been deferring
[5d20 = 27]
Tracy stabs every one of the oncoming fatties.
>>65206REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[3d20 = 38]>>65205“Doesn’t look like scaring them with words or bloodshed is doing any good.”
Another three attacks with +4.
>>65208THP THP THP another 3 bags fall. A small handful remain, and they're messing with the data console thing
>>65201The sniping attempt is perfectly successful, but the hide check is not. Several fleshbags swarm Snek's position
>>65210Yes. She's been able to attack this whole time, she's just been biding it, per your request
[3d20 = 32]>>65212Tracy lashes out with her chain at the ones closest to the data console, and prepares to attack any others who approach it.
Then she steps towards it.
>>65213Good enough. Before any of the bags can alert anyone, and before the elevator reaches its destination, Tracy and Stix eliminate the existing threats. If they'd stood still the whole time, they could have avoided that. Oh well. The elevator opens to a large corridor running adjacent to the wall with a number of levers and switches,
>>65214"Well... That happened..." Tracy says a little nervously as she steps out
She proceeds to further examine the hallway.
>>65215“Wait. The bodies. What if they are found?”
>>65216"Fuck. Good call."
Tracy whirls around for a corner or something to drag the carcasses into
An echoing THUD reverberates up and down the entirety of the wall
(I'm skipping a bit, sue me. I got what I needed anywhow). Small sections widen by a few inches, every few feet Individually they amount to nothing, but collectively the entire wall of the fortress facing the remainder of the party shudders and flexes open at one end.
Brad gets a vague emotional wave that feels like "I DID SOMETHING", from beyond the fortress.
Thez gestures for everyone to proceed, deliberately waiting until last to enter. To her satisfaction, no one seems to be attacking. Through semi-adjacent archways, Tracy sees them enter, in a larger paved area leading to a strange monolith.
>>65220Tracy makes sure the coast is clear, before slowly and furtively making her way towards the rest of the group.
>>65221
Yes. Except, there are fleshbags in front of them. Trump has 2 attacks of opportunity
>>65224
I said Trump gets (tho he's entitled to use those dice if he wants)
[2d20 = 24]>>65223Quick draw Vanderiem. Render Offal
>>65227Quickly bisecting fleshbags in their surprise, Trump fells the last of the opposition along the outer gate. They have now officially entered the house of Bogdanoff, but only time will tell how successful they are at finding the throne.
*covers knives in knife oil*
*covers fur in vest oil*
"So, we gonna slay some bitches or what?"
Where last we left, Trump had just severed two flesh-bags in a manner not dissimilar to that of two enlarged watermelons. The gate, and the walled city stands before the party. It is a structure that stretches impossibly high and overwhelmingly solid.
>>65241>Torc covers spells in spell oil"I wouldn't mind getting out of here"
>>65241*hands sword*
"Pls put poison in sword."
>>65244"You know how to use this stuff, big guy? It's dangerous if you don't know how to handle it.."
devils are immune to poison, btw
>>65242Does Infernuis think an earthquake would help?
>>65246"Me know not to cut self or friends with it like this"
>>65248Tracy gives him a look like she really doesn't trust he knows what he's doing, but gives him a dose of bloodroot anyway.
"Say, you got a spell that could boost me, or my blades?"
>>65247Not at the moment. I mean, would he?
>>65249"Yea me have plenty, want to be more fast?"
>>65250It depends on how good the walls are.
>>65252"Speed is
always helpful."
>>65252I'd wait until we're inside the building. Use it to collapse the hallways enemies approach us by.
*Utters a prayer to most holy Elway*
>>65253*casts cats grace*
*casts magic weapon*
"You cut better and be faster."
>>65256*casts bulls strength*
>>65252The floors blend with the walls, and vice versa. It seems structurally reinforced to an absurd degree. Thez steps aside for a moment, giving a handful of things to Addy, hissing briefly at any attempt to question.
"Where did that weeb go?" Tracy wonders aloud, looking around for the ninja horse.
>>65260*casts cats grace on addy*
*casts protection from evil*
>>65263Addy, with a rather shell-shocked look on her face says, "No, here. Like this," and holding out a midnight-blue stone says an incomprehensible word. As she does so, a vapid coalescence fills in around the party, evident only in peripheral vision.
>>65264"what hell was that?"
>>65266"Mommy's stone," she says.
>is now covered in slippery magick oil, along with all her blades
>>65267"Addy me love you, me will do everything me can to make sure you are safe"
*hugs*
>>65268"Disgusting. Would not hug"
>>65270It's an old computer: reaction image folders from when I was a /b/tard.
>>65273"Uh. Uh. Aww"
*gently and lightly pats head with palm*
*humps leg one last time, seeing as they'll probably die*
>>65275"I'll think of you sometimes as I play on Mile High Field"
>>65276"Hey brad, how you holding up?"
Okay. Displayed is proposed formation. Trump and Fae can be either forward position, Addy is in purple, Torcuil in green cuz already 2 yellow characters
Lenos is marked, Kiynen has the line, Infernius is red, Addy is purple, Tracy is blue, Stix can be anywhere, flanking and taking advantage of cover throughout
>>65280Tracy has 7 AoOs with that Dex buff, so she'll stay back and kill off anything that approaches, or stab anything that breaks the line in readied action.
>>65278"I'm okay. Better than I was"
>>65281Yes. With her reach, Tracy shares 1st AoO with either Lenos or Kiynen, depending on which side the inbound comes from (the line indicates the tail-range of either)
>>65283>>65281The additional number of attack of opportunities doesn't necessarily mean more than one attack of opportunity, it just means that where there is more than one opportunity to make an attack, you may make up to that number of attacks in a round. A single opponent moving into or out of a threatened area still only counts as a single opportunity, for a single attack
>>65284I know. It just means she can stab 7 different enemies approaching. Good to keep you and Fae from getting flanked/pinned.
>>65284Yes, I apologize if I suggested or indicated otherwise
>>65285She has Opportunist too, so she'll get at least 1 AoO per round anyway.
Also, where she is, anyone who breaks the front line will be flanked, so she'll put one through anyone who gets near Torc/Infernius.
Actually, drawing straight lines, she could flank a few coming from the front too.
>>65287As long as she doesn't miss and accidentally put one through Torcuil himself
>>65291Well, he's behind her, so he's out of the go-to stabbing zone.
>Snek continues to slaughter fleshbags
*loads pockets with bits of Bog's expensive decorations and antiquities*
So where we last left off, the party is still standing before a great and massive door that leads into the Bogdanoff house, which has supremacy over all the noble houses of Hell. There are no things for Tracy to steal by the way. Several buffs have been passed around (I'm gonna need a complete listing btw, though everyone has Cloak of Chaos re: Addy)
>>65295What's the architecture look like? A style in mind?
>>65296Bleak. Absence of resources. In fact, about the least-hospitable structure you can ever think to have observed.
>>65297Just from the outside, or do devils have no sense of taste?
>>65295"This looks festive"
>>65297"Hmmm.. I expected something fancier.." Tracy says, with a disappointed tone
"We haven't gotten inside. I'm sure it will be plenty extravagant," Thez says, walking toward the side of the door, from which she knocks 3 times, slowly and distinctively.
>>65301*watches intently*
>>65301*points sword towards the door*
>>65301"Is this the part where we start killing?"
With a sound something like a hiss and a gasp, the massive gate (which is only one door, rather than being a double-door, for some reason) sucks inward, and then slowly retreats along the hinges. From the inside, the party is greeted with a dazzling array of refracted light and brightness. The whole interior is a-glow, and its resplendence is intense and jarring.
>>65301"Where does he keep his army?"
>>65306"Not in his house certainly. Ordinarily it would be strewn across the plains of Gehenna, but who knows now that he's working
with demons," she spits out.
>>65305"~Ooooooooooooh!"
>wingding eyes
>>65307"Uh do demons and devils have anything they weak against?"
>>65309"Silver, holy shit,... not much else to be honest."
>>65310"Uh, anything they are strong against?"
The interior of the facility looks like an endless hallway, refined to the last degree with all manner of resplendence (gilt, precious stones, royalty beyond imagination. As Tracy (cuz I know she's thinking it) none of it is remove-able. In fact, she finds that everything not nailed down is in fact nailed down in a sense. The whole area has some type of provision preventing thievery (cuz they absolutely don't get thieves in hell,....)
"If they have organs, I can kill 'em." Tracy says
>>65311"Some of 'em look like bugs. Don't use fire against those ones. Also, most of them have some protection against fire, so that's really not a solid choice."
>>65312[grumbles about not having the time to hack shit off of the ground]
>>65314"How do they feel about electricity?"
>>65314"Noted, don't use fire"
>>65307"Aren't demon's generally opposed to infernals?"
>>65318"They sound like the kind of guys who are opposed to
everything..."
>>65318"Is any of this ordinary?"
>>65316"Some are less susceptible, but I don't know of any that are immune."
With a quick glance around the area, as well as inside, Thez strides boldly into the building. It looks reminiscent of the scene in LOTR before the Balrog attacks, except everything is shiny and gilt. There's an endless array of hallways branching off in every direction, none of which are marked in any way.
>>65322Tracy follows suit, keeping her senses sharp.
>>65321"Same as electricity, which is odd considering some devils specialize in ice, but are immune to fire." o_O
>>65322*moves with the group*
>>65322"Hey wait for me"
>>65324"That's pretty fucking strange"
As the party moves forward into the building, a few fleshbags in the area gasp and hide in various areas as available. A sound of whispering emanates from throughout.
>>65328*tries to act cocky*
>is actually nervous
>>65327Tracy's energy is knife
>>65328Torc is nervous
A posh phantasm that looks vaguely reminiscent of Squidward from Avengers movie coalesces in front of Thez, and thereby the party.
"Commoner! What business have you in the Grand house of Bogdanoff?!"
"In fact, how did you even get into the building?"
T>"We came in the front gate. It was open, and seemed welcoming," Thez says with a sneer.
>>65330Good point.
*charges knife-energy*
>>65331>realizes the outside isn't a vacuum so Torc can't do that thing>>65334Daily stupid ideas: Take one level in soulknife to literally have knife energy
>>65336I would've been that, but Tracy already has physical knives as part of her character. They're currently well-oiled.
>>65333Nice trips.
"I see you lot are of a more contemptible variety. What claim do you have to present yourself in this house. Answer quickly, I have no time or patience for,... lower-classed."
Thez sneers again. "I claim right to challenge the master of the house."
To this, the phantasm disappears with a gasp.
>>65339"Ha faggot get rekt!"
The phantasm reappears momentarily. "Preposterous! All who have right of claim are present in the throne room. There are none others who have this right!"
"As principle of the house of Thez, I challenge the master of Baatorr."
"The house of,... who did you say?"
>>65337Like I said, daily
stoopid idea
>>65339"Thez, why did the clarinet player disappear?"
Thez looks sidelong at Kiynen, and gives a slight nod.
In response, Kiynen douses the phantasm in acid.
>>65342"Because what we're doing is unprecedented. Ordinarily, challengers don't walk in the front gate. To be honest, only a fool would do that. Except, that's our only option."
>>65341"She said house of THEZ you cock sucking faggot"
The clarinet player dissolves rapidly, in a fit of "No u!".
>>65344"Don't mind him, he's inconsequential. Besides, I'm sure the message was received."
And indeed it was.
>>65343"Good thing none of us where smart enough to run away from this"
Except Snek, the fucking asshole
>>65346"He gets flayed later"
>>65343Whispering to Thez
"Didn't these people manage to take down
all other rivals?"
>>65349*firmly grasps leg*
>>65348"Who gets flayed?"
>>65346Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Snek.
The scene begins to distort and spin around the party, almost dizzyingly. As the apparent surroundings begin to blur with eachother, a resounding (and curiously familiar) <CRACK> resounds.
Suddenly, the party finds themselves standing in a very large and open area, spacious almost like a Football field, except marble floors and wicked finery. At one end is a ziggurat, upon which sits the most massive infernal that has ever been seen (even considering Soros). This creatures bears two heads, both with monstrous chins. A low rumbling, vaguely reminiscent of a chuckle, resonates throughout the chamber. Along the walls (which are impossibly far away, as though this 'room' is a dimension in its self) are all manner of diabolical and abyssal creatures (more the former than the latter) all whispering amongst themselves in hushed tones.
"You're uglier than the last time I saw you. Where's your brother?" Thez announces challengingly.
>>65352Oh I know you haven't forgotten him.
"Is this a basketball court?"
*leg-grasping intensifies*
>>65352>almost like a Football Field"Anyone else ready to play?"
>>65355*pets*
>>65352*fills mind with thought of hitler and gassing bogs*
The massive Bog-creature smirks from both its mouths. Wordlessly, it booms from the rafters.
WELCOME TO MY HOUSE, PRINCIPLE OF,... THEZ? PLEASED I AM THAT THE RUMORS OF YOUR DEMISE WERE UNFOUNDED. BY ALL INDICATION THERE WERE NONE LEFT, EXCEPT PERHAPS AN INSIGNIFICANT FLEA.
>>65358"Me gonna laugh when thez gasses you faggots"
>>65358"Have you heard the Word of Football, good sir?"
>>65358"Pssst, Thez. Is this who we're supposed to kill?"
Tracy just draws-out her knives an hunkers down for the oncoming blood-orgy.
Trumpaladin pulls out a cheap necklace, the sort which you attach dog tags to, places the the Ring of Protection on it, and then hangs it around Fae's Neck
Torc decides finally try his ear cuff of blinking, and also activates his shield.
At a glance he looks very confident, but those really focusing on him will notice a bit of fear.
[4d2 = 7][4d20 = 40]>>65365Testing poking
>>65366Wouldn't you roll d%?
"Oww, you fucking cunt"
>>65361>ignorednot discouraging, in fact do it"A flea, perhaps. But this flea has ebola. Get off that throne," Thez says menacingly.
>>65362"He's mine. The rest are yours."
Are Adeline and Ponimaru visible?
>>65368"Okay, good luck"
Torc then trys to figure out where 'the rest' are
>>65368"Hitler will BTFO you. You fucking cunt face!"
>>65370Literally all around us.
It's a kill-circle.
>>65369Adeline is hanging back in formation. Ponimaru hasn't been seen since his first appearance.
>>65372Yeah, kinda
I chop some guys in half.
>>65373Are there enemies behind the formation?
>>65373Is it initiative time?
>>65375None immediately. There's a wide berth between the group (formation) and the surrounding.
Sneering menacingly, Igritchkora looks to a pedestal on his right, on which a sphere rests. The sphere levitates off the pedestal.
YOU ARE A FOOL. HOWEVER, YOUR RIGHT TO BE A FOOL IS UNDENIABLE
Igritchkora begins to stand, beams and wafts of energy sucking into the throne as he does so. Upon standing upright from the throne, the Bog appears to be an ordinary man in a neat suit, except with two heads.
"WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS" he intones, this more verbally than previous.
"No weapons, no items, no equipment of any kind."
"YOUR WAGER?"
"Your head on a pike."
>>65378"Well uh, this is interesting"
>>65378"Kick his ass thez!"
>>65381>Torc continues to blink through existence
"YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR CHANCE." he says, standing before the throne. "DO NOT REGRET THIS CHOICE," he says with a smirk.
Thez adopts a fighting stance, casting Shield on herself as she does so. Bog casts Unholy Aura.
Casting a sidelong glance at the party, Thez whispers. "Thank you, all of you. When everything happened, I lost all hope. I won't lose.'
>>65382*Takes a full-round action to gain concealment with cloak*
>>65379"Pssst! Neet, make my sword invisible."
>>65385Suddenly, a small, thin beam shoots from Torc's finger.
Tracy's knife gains the mythical powers of John Cena and lets out a whisper of "You can't see me"
>>65384"Good luck Thez"
And with that, the battle between Thez and Bog begins. And as it does so, some chatter comes from the periphery. None if it is expressly directed at the party, but much of it seems to relate. Comments of "I want that one," and "I have dibs on the shiny motherfucker," start to echo and resound from the surrounding masses.
>>65388"ELWAY HAS DIBS ON
ALL OF YOUR ASSES!"
>>65388*Stretches lewdly*
[Cocky pony noises]
>>65388"Me never skull fuck a devil before,should be fun!"
So, we have two dragons (are they in dragon form? I don't think so so far), a shiny paladin, a murder hoers, a skinny guy, a dirty hoers, a pissy dragonne, a bull,... am I forgetting anyone? Cuz 'they're' pulling lots to see who gets to eat you first.