>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,… love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,….).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). Ordinarily we have several side-characters with their own existing backstories, as well as a few player contributions including a very sad Alex Jones or Yak Lee, a literal MLP yak trained as a monk. If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
For the time being the party has successfully conquered the Gigajew, and through the tunnels beneath has all-kinds-of tortured to almost death (there will be more) James Alefantis and several patrons/staff of Comet Ping Pong. Through this tunnel network, there is only one direction to go, and that is the upper path, which seems to lead toward the usurped Trump Tower.
1021 replies and 27 files omitted.
>>64973"No she say me and addy both cant die."
"Stix, Addy, and Torcuil should maintain the middle of the formation, so that they can't be immediately targeted by melee. Infernius and I (highest HP) will lead, with Trump and Fae on the sides. Tracy can flit around and stab opponents, tumbling through the formation as she feels inclined. Am I forgetting anyone."
"Yeah."
The area fills with smoke,... far more smoke than was necessary, but as it clears a very scarred and abused, but much older Ponimaru stands at the edge of the area.
>>64978"... And to think I was just ablout to throw his ears in the machine..""So you're still alive, weeboi." Tracy says
"How long have you been watching?"
>>64978“Ponymaru!”
Stix is pleased to see his strange acquaintance.
“You made it!”
*lenos pops neck and rolls shoulders* alright are we all ready?
>>64980"Long enough. This plan is suicide."
Thez makes a discouraging shake of her head, which does not go unnoticed.
>>64984Tracy's eyes narrow a bit
"And when did you get here?"
>>64984“Did you have another idea of what we could do?”
>>64986"No. But if you're going to go getting yourselves killed, I'm going too."
>>64987Torc leans towards Trumpaladin
"Am I supposed to know this guy?"
>>64987“That’s the spirit! We just need to fix what happened here. We can’t let all this death and destruction come to pass. If the price to pay is my life, I think that is a decent bargain. I’m sure everyone here agrees.”
Ponimaru places a hoof on Trump's shoulder. "I know what happened. I tried to free them from the Gay marriage curse that had been placed, but every day the grounds keeper returned, to restore them to undeath and ignominy. I would,...." he says, turning away.
"I guess we're ready,... ish, then. Tracy would obviously lead the stealth group, while the rest 'presents' themselves at the gate. Any additions?"
"I will be there for the infiltration." Ponimaru says glaring from his one good eye.
>>64991Trumpaladin looks at him in the eyes, barely withholding crying, silent for a few moments
"....Thank you"
>>64989It's Thez's message boy. He;s delivered multiple messages over the past few months, such as the letter Thez sent when she was in self-imposed exile, and he helped to locate the kidnapped loggers. Also the Blue one killed him. Twice."
>>64993"We get revenge for our men."
*puts hand on shoulder*
>>64994He resists the spell.
"Save your energy. You'll need it, and besides, this isn't
just a ruined eye." he says firmly.
So the gate to Hell is as was aptly described, a doggie-door of sorts. While precarious in a pinch, no one is beating down the party's door at the moment, so it's not an issue.
<thud> >>64995The sadness is not erased from his expression, but Infernius's hand and display of solidarity gives Trumpaladin strength, and he stands straighter, taller.
"Indeed we shall. When we get back, we're going to wipe everyone of those bastards out as they would do to us"
>>64996"Uh guys, what was that noise?"
>>64997"You will have no control of my brutality,just so you know."
>>64999"Just be discriminate as to who you take it out on"
[1d20+5 = 16]>>64996"Oh, just what we needed.." Tracy says, her ears turning towards the sound like satellite dishes
Untrained Listen check, because why not
>>65002"There's peoples." says one of the children, looking out from the main entrance. A chorus of light sources reflect from the wall.
>>65003Tracy, not really thinking, swiftly moves to put herself between the children and the light sources.
>>65004"Dont worry kids. We'll protect you."
>>65004Thez looks at her. "There's really not much time or option for that. We have a job to do, and it looks like we may be running out of time to do it," she says walking to stand adjacent to the miniature portal.
>>65003>"Uh, Torc?""I see it, I'm not blind."
>"Well what is it magic-ass?""I said I wasn't blind, I didn't say I was a genius"
>>65006"Guess there's no time like the present for us to leave"
Torcuil gestures to Mr. Snek
"Ladies first"
>>65006Well, she didn't say anything before doing it, but she turns hesitantly towards Thez.
>>65008Snek of all the party, has the easiest time of things, simply slithering through the portal. Next would be Lenos (in Brownie form) who could simply walk through. Followed after would be Tracy.
>>65009"What are you thinking?"
>>65010Tracy doesn't say anything, but bites her lip indecisively
[1d20+9 = 28]>>65010As Snek disappears through the portal Torc hears a faint hiss
>"Pearls before Swine"As Snek pops out the other side he looks around for anything threatening
Spot check >>65011"And take them with us? To Hell?!"
>>65014"They will be raped again, they're not staying."
>>65013He finds himself on a dim landscape covered in shattered stone. The ground around him is literally a pile of rubble. The air is stagnant and still, where if a dust particle were dislodged it would remain still in the air. The sky is a deep and foreboding red without more than a glow to suggest that maybe somewhere beyond whatever blanket covers the sky there
might be a source of light.
>>65015"You're not making things any easier!" she says, relenting and waving children through the portal,... into Hell.
"This is what you get for throwing random shit in there," Thez quips to GM
>>65014>>65010"Oh bucking roadapples..! I'll be back, girls!" Tracy cries back at her Angels before disappearing through the portal.
>>65015Can you still cast Reduce Animal?
>>65019"YOU.... OAF!" Thez says, grabbing and retaining the pickle because now is not the time but its too late to do anything about it.
>>65020>>65018*turns sam and bunny into kiwi birds*
>>65011"Are you daft? Their salvation comes in resetting this horrible timeline. Not in being literally sent to Hell"
>>65021*grabs tiny-ass, blind birbs and bolts thru the portal*
>>65023"Are you trying to double your number of birds here?"
Trumpaladin puts his hand on his face
>>65021You can't do spells as a pickle
>>65017As Tracy jumps through the portal, the two birds nod to themselves in a manner. They both fly and position themselves at the entrance to the tower, perched in such a way to protect and block the increasingly inbound presence. As they do so, several magical effects and spells streak out from the tunnel and sting at them.
"These absolute fucking idiots, what do they not ge-"
Torc realizes he's wasting his breath and gets in the newly formed line for the portal.
He then questions why he has to wait behind these children and decides to cut to the front.
>>65024"I don't want to leave them again!" Tracy shouts back
>>65026Two Rocs is already more than enough.
>>65027"Hey! You're a filthy cutter, you dirty line butter!"
>>65028"So you literally send them
to Hell?"
>>65025*unpickles and casts it.*
>>65022"Me dont care, they come with us now."
>>65028By no I mean, I'm not allowing Infernius to alter them in pickle state, and thereby their giant asses are perched (literally) at the entrance so the party can get their happy asses through the portal like they ought to be doing.
>>65029"They be raped here, me not let that happen, and the rocs can help us."
>>65031As a mage once said, "Fuck your plans"
>>65029"Ah fuck you too, now get over here before I find a way to drag you through"
>>65034Not this time. Sammy and BunBun have made their choice. They're making sure the party still has a chance.
>>65036[sad poner noises]
".. I-I promise I be back this time..!" Tracy says, tears streaming from her faces as she dives through.
Thez, in her best Arnold impression, yells, "Get to the portahl!"
>>65034"Infernius. They'll be fine. Better actually once we reset the timeline. They will be worse off if they follow us. Give it up"
"Welp, stay if you guys want. But my Snek is on the other side"
Torcuil dives through
>>65039"Fine"
*disgusted Minotuar face*
*turns back into a pickle*
Whenever everyone gets done fooling around and goes through the portal, Stix will follow in
>>65038Tracy has passed thru, regretful but determined.
>>65042*shrugs*
Trumpaladin goes through
>>65043"They're damned birds. Calm down"
Lenos is through and waiting impatiently arms folded and foot tapping for everyone else
Fae stands there looking dryly at Thez.
>>65047"I'll call you from the otherside"
>>65048Fae sighs and joins Sam and Bunny, as a large contingent of armed and armored troops collide with them. Thez ushers Addy through, and then follows behind.
On the other side is a wasteland. As each person pops through they're immediately impressed by the silence of it all. Sound hardly seems to travel, and the sky is a deep red. In the distance is a mountain of sorts, dotted with light sources.
>>65049Trumpaladin kisses her before going through
"don't worry, you'll get that hellish business trip you've always wanted"
>>65050The silence is broke by a hissing
>"Finally, you idiots made it" "I take it that's where we're headed?" Ponimaru asks, indicating the obvious structure. Thez looks down and kicks at something buried in the rubble. "Yeah, that's the place."
"This place smells funny," Addy whispers.
>>65054"Addy you havent smelled your father much if you think this place smells funny" lenos stage whispers
>>65055"I was just about to say the same thing"
>>65056>>65055"Hey me bathe every now and then."
Trumpaladin now CALLS FAE
[1d20 = 3]The ground beneath crumbles beneath everyone's feet, more arid than one would imagine anywhere could be. The silence of the surrounding environment has an eerie nature to it, as though the landscape its self is looking back at each expectantly.
>>65058Who appears sweating and excited, and not in a lewd sense. Thez meanwhile lifts the portal device over her head to send it crashing down against the ground.
*tosses snek another choclate covered cygnomebyte*>ya now and then is right
Despite the crappy roll, its still a success cuz crazy BAB. The large group of children who someone thought it would be a good idea to bring along are all looking unemotionally expectantly at the party, a few of whom have started stirring rocks with their feet.
>>65064"He smell like shit and mountain dew."
>>65063"At least I try to bathe"
>>65062"Who... Who brought the fucking kids"
>>65065"Its your fault he smells like shit though," Thez quips.
>>65066"It
certainly wasn't my idea," she says, raising her hands. "I thought we were going to war. Against that, by the way," she says, gesturing at the obvious mountain.
>>65062"Wait. I thought Infenius left them? Are they going to be stuck in hell forever?"
>>65068"You seem to have pissed of a whole lot of jews by assaulting the grove. Sam and Rabbit are,..." she looks at Tracy and says unconvincingly, "Fine, I'm sure."
>>65067"Well this is fucking great"
>"Welp, we gotta either get rid of them or hide them" >>65069"This timeline will cease to be."
>>65070Did Fae just lie? She's lawful good
>>65073If everything works out, Sam and Bunny
will be fine, so it isn't a lie.
>>65074I almost had her call him Samuel Xp
>>65075>him[grumbling intensifies]
"Okay.. let's hop to and get this battle over with."
*scans hellscape*
".. Hmmm not as bad as I figured.."
The building standing before is wrought of molded obsidan-steel (you've heard of glass steel?) spiralling around the base of what appears to be a short mountain. All across the mountainside are lights, flickering on and off, moving this way amd that.
>>65078*checks the fountain for coins*
>>65078Torcuil and Snek try tonprepare for what ever is about to come
>>65079Rupees are fine too though...
>>65083Whatever they make wishes with around here.
>>65073>>65075Tracy's birbs are invincible.
They had us leave without them so they could unleash their
full power.
Well aside from GM being a faggot (I did warn in the OP), who all is joining the "Stealth" group, and who is staying behind to (essentially) wait on the 'elevator'?
[1d20-9 = -9]
Rolling to move silently into the Stealth group
>>65086We're there any coins in the fountain?
>>65092Are you serious about this?
[1d20+10 = 17]>>65093Snek hides before the Paladin and Rogue fight to the death
Torc wishes he could
>>65088Tracy stops and turns with a dreary look on her face
"..Flashy...."
>>65097*stares*
She doesn't say anything, but he can clearly sense that she strongly advises against coming*
>>65098*stares right back at her*
[1d20+7 = 24]>>65099"Now kiss"
Snek shoves Trump at Tracy
>>65101"You're seriously going to try and sneak around? In all that?" Thez asks incredulously.
>>65104Trumpaladin turns to her, a clanking sound made as he moves his torso
>>65105"The fewer people we have sneaking in, the greater the likelihood we go undetected. I'm not saying don't, but Tracy and Stix could probably manage."
>>65106"Not to mention that aura.." Tracy says
>>65106"Fine"
Trumpaladin crosses his arms to more metalic clanging
>>65107"He has an aura?" Thez asks obliviously.
A>"You didn't notice? Its all shiny!"
"Are you comfortable with that Tracy, or does anyone else want to go?"
A> "I wanna go!"
"You are staying here with us!"
A> "Fine,...."
>>65111>comfortable[dry laughter]
"That'll do..." Tracy says, turning to move forward.
>>65111“You need me to go scout out the place as well?”
>>65111"Why would she not scout ahead? She is one of the few to have the talent, and if she needs babysitting, there are none better over here"
>>65113Tracy seems vaguely uncertain (she hasn't actually known Stix for that long), but doesn't protest
"You just keep your eyes open to see if any guards come by, while I focus on what I need to do."
>>65112Thez smirks at how easy it is to goad Tracy into motion. She sets off along an apparent road of sorts toward what looks like at times is a main gate, but for the moment looks like a wall made out of obsidian stalagmites impossibly close together, which reach up a good 50' or more. Addy follows close behind, as does Kiynen in lady form.
Snek decides fuck Torc's orders, he's a strong independent snake and joins the stealth party.
After only a few feet, Tracy slips into nothingness. Its a place that she goes sometimes where feelings are displaced, there's only sensation and response and an underlying urge to stab. To the untrained observer she simply vanishes mid-stride.
>>65113Roll a stealth check with modifier (skill and dex)
>>65117"Does he know that when he moves more than 100 feet away he reverts to staff form?"
>>65119How would Brad know that?
>>65119Ordinarily, I'd agree, but I'll allow it for dynamic.
As Snek speeds off, Lenos mutters a few words and pats him on the departing tail, and Snek likewise becomes apparently invisible.
>>65121Nope, that was perfect
>>65120Because we talked about it. Also, you can't hide in plain sight. That's a level 17 Ranger power. Not a level 13 rogue power
>>65123She's not hiding, she's sneaking.
>>65123There's sufficient debris to blend in with. So Tracy and co speed off toward the edge of the wall, while everyone else(?) ventures toward the gate.
>>65125Torc is, understandably, a bit shocked at his 30 foot long snake just disappearing.
"They never listen"
He then proceeds to just sit and wait for the scouting party to return.
>>65128Stealth group arrives at the wall. It's an impressive structure, seemingly feet thick at the base given the shape of the spires that form it. No apparent weaknesses present themselves as they begin to examine the area. As they're investigating, a sloshing sound coupled with motion occurs further on.
>>65131After a few moments, the sound occurs again. As Tracy lingers, a foul odor greets her from that direction.
[1d20 = 3]>>65132Can Snek make a scent check on that?
This'll be my roll if yes, you can ignore if the answer is no.
>>65132"Something's there." Tracy whispers
Tracy switches her cane to sword form and prepares to stab literally anything she encounters.
She takes a move action to determine the location of scent, particularly if it's moving towards them or away.
>>65133Oh, its hard to mistake the smell of offal. As they approach to inspect, it appears to be a waste disposal chute, about 3' in diameter. Its been stuck through the wall at an angle. The wall continues past it.
>>65136The sort of foulness that denizens of hell would produce
>>65135Snek is about to say there's nothing to worry about when something dawns on him.
His translator is gone...
>>65136I'd have to take a risky guess and say guts.
>>65136Like "melt your bones off" kind of waste, "can't approach without vomiting" kind of waste or "damn gurl, this shit is nasty!" kind of sewage?
>>65139Like, exposure could result in status ailment sickened
>>65138He can roll bluff for innuendo, if he's good at pantomiming.
>>65140I'll leave that way in as a last resort..
>>65135Tracy's eyes linger on the sewage tube for a moment, before continuing forward
"Old habit die hard.." she mumbles, before she ushers the others to follow her slowly
>>65142Follows Tracy slowly and stealthily
>>65138Lenos is with them......ofcourse i wouldnt ve to trusting with him translating accuretly
>>65141>bluffThis. Luckily Snek has a good Int modifier
>>65144Nah, Lenos stayed behind cuz you hadn't posted. He gave Snek Improved Invisibility as he was leaving though.
>>65147And that's another problem, the others can't see him
>>65148Just barely about what you'd get from an empathetic link: vague feelings or intentions
>"What's that boy? Little Johnny fell down the well?">[hissing sounds] >>65149Well, it occurs to Snek that he could easily fit through the waste pipe, and filth doesn't really bother him. If he wants, he has the option to make his way down the tube while Tracy and Stix continue on.
>>65151Well, this situation can't get any worse so why not
>"Geronimo"Stix and Tracy hear faint hissing
>>65153Tracy's ears perk towards the pipe suspiciously, but she dismisses it as gas escaping the pipe.
>>65150Kek
>>65154Just some hot air as Torc would say
[2d20 = 13]>>65153Snek dives in, in complete disregard of all the,... well you don't wanna know. He glides along quickly, without any obstruction.
Meanwhile Tracy and Stix continue along the wall.
>>65156Tracy's hair stands on end.
>>65158*freezes again*
"fuk" she whispers with half a breath
>>65159Stix stops dead in his tracks, trying to get a signal of what’s wrong from Tracy
>>65143Is Stix likewise freezing?
[1d20+20 = 29]>>65160Tracy doesn't say anything, but her ears swivel left and right like little satellite dishes
(I know, I use that image a lot)She looks around for what made her timgle
Search check
>>65159>>65160As they both freeze in place, a gust of air cracks in the wall immediately adjacent. Unnatural breaks appear along the wall, and a portion of the wall opens up. Imagine that the top 3' of a 6' section folded inward toward the ceiling, and the bottom 3' folded toward the floor.
Now imagine that on the other side of this sudden opening were about 20 flesh-bag looking things, carrying trashbags.
>>65161Yes, waiting for a signal from Tracy
>20
fuck
Like, right in front of them?
The fleshbags greeble and glorp in some form of language to one another. For a moment the fleshbags seem intent on glarbling about Duck Dynasty, whatever that is.
>>65166Roll a fortitude check, Stix too
Passing magnificently, both Tracy and Stix have the presence of mind to stay still while the flesblobs umber past with their loads. For a moment, what appears to be an elevator or sorts, designed for large capacity, sits empty.
>>65170Tracy stares at the fleshy things for a second or two before turning to the elevator
"I guess this is our stop.." she says, unsure
*steps into elevator-thing*
>>65162You can tell a lot about a person by what's in their garbage.
>>65171I guess Stix goes in the elevator too.
>>65174He gets on the elevator just as the flesh-bags amble their way back toward the elevator at Tracy and himself. Wut do?
>>65175Pushes the close door button
“What are we even doing in here? Where do we go from here?”