This thread continues the ongoing RP/Shitposting game. Its based on D&D 3.5e core rules with exceptions made for just about anything. Its essentially a play-by-shitpost RPG with structural additions. Games get hairy on Saturdays, but weekends in general; weekdays are for meta and shitposting.
Most pressing of the situations is that involving Infernius, Trump, and Tracy; the former finds himself being surrounded by robots, while flying robots seem to have cut off his escape. As nimble as Uatchit is, his situation doesn't look good. Trump has fled outside the Cardashil wall, and his pursuit disengaged to secure the perimeter of the city. In short, Cardashil is now a Panopticon. Meanwhile, Tracy - er, a praying mantis who is clearly identifiable as Frank (or any of 3 other identities) - is amongst a throng headed for the teleportation gates along the perimeter of the park area.
Oh yes, and those grenades. One of the robots has char marks and scraping on it.
Meanwhile Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are having an otherwise constructive conversation in the Tower.
1013 replies and 98 files omitted.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
None
Some people think that potatoes are too starchy for the Denver Broncos, but not me, no siree bob. When I was just a small potato, I would occasionally salt myself and become that entity known to The French as Le Pomme de Terre, and I would cause the cholesterol of my enemies to rise through the buttery menace of my potato hide.
>>60532If sex "doesn't count" just because you eat your lover afterwards, then several insect species shouldn't be able to reproduce
>>60538*stores all of her money in a pot*
>>60539That might be the weirdest post I've read all day
>>60540It all disappears when the rainbow proceeding out of it vanishes.
>>60539I was shitposting; It would count, if it weren't just another married female masturbating with non-living household vegetables.
>>60542*forgets about it, because drunk*
>>60545Every housewife fucks the salad. This is training.
*eats a whole raw potato*
>>60548
If the discord online status is to be trusted, he is currently idle. I guess he is busy at the moment.
>>60435I am partial to the idea of using gas-based weapons.
>>60550It might come as a shock, but me too.
>>60551Poisons are such a badass way to painfully kill/incapacitate your enemy.
I'm glad assassins and Blackguards are proficient in poison use.
>>60552Would tracy help Infernuis make gas weapons?
I hope we get to play tonight.
>>60555Digits confirm poisons are badass.
>>60559Don't make me break out the runes again
>>60559*crushes u with truckload of potatoes*
>>60562"You gonna sleep with all them too? Hmmm?"
>>60559"I found a whole bunch of gold, Flashy!"
>>60566*claims it in the name of the Queen*
>>60569*divides and oppresses u*
>>60570*leeches your welfare system*
>tfw "last 50 posts" isn't nearly enough
>>60518??
>>60524Finds stray horseshoe
>>60526Waste of a good potato
>>60531>Irish>>60538wut
... it got weird from there
>>60575You know, play house, is the fight clubs still standing, etc.
Things to do
>is still angry over the tuberous adultery
>>60579At least she had the courtesy to kill her lay.
>>60578The fight club was burned to the ground.
>>60578>>60581The whorehouse burned to the ground, but the fight club still has members
>>60579?
>probably has ~2-3 hours before passing out
So, what is Tracy able to see from her position?
>>60582Hmmmmmmm...
I guess Torc could go see what Saw-horse wanted
Alright! Well my day was absolute shit! But enough about that! Aside from raping potatoes, where are we at?
>>60590Tracy is still in the crowd, observing That Bitch, and remaining opportunistic.
>>60590Sorry to hear that... I hope things get better soon.
>>60590Being angry about raping potatoes
>>60594What's he actually doing tho?
>>60595Reentering the structure through the hole
>>60592>>60593No worries, with any luck it will play out reasonably
>>60594Rly?
>>60591That Bitch is still in a small groups, alternating between giving instructions to the ppl there, and giving instructions into her phone. Something about
Not subtle enough to be
those invaders, but still a pain in the ass," have I mentioned she has a huge ass?
>>60590Sorry to hear that GM.
Torc is currently deciding if he should ask Death to come with him to see the trebuchets
>>60597Tracy makes herself discreet, but inches closer.
>>60598Well, Death didn't stop by for a group-chat, so intrigued.
>>60598Is Death a visible entity, or can only Torc see Death?
>>60596But aren't there increasing bots on both sides now?
>>60601Death is visible. No "Torcuil is talking-to/fugging the air" shenanigens
Trumpaladin renters on Fae, making use of the fact that Fae is a hell of a lot faster than the bots to evade them - or at least, to evade masses of the bots attacking at once.
He was supposed to meet up with Infernius and Tracy so they could all get IDs and not have to constantly worry about the bots, but nooooooooo, we can't have that now, can we?
>>60603Yes, but its all fat. That Bitch has no athleticism
>>60602He was supposed to meet Tracy on the other side but we have to replay Saturday and now you want to do something else that will result in That Bitch getting away anyways
>>60605Relax, Tracy just has to venture outside
>>60606>no athleticismTracy takes note of this, judging to see how easily she'd go down if she wanted to dispose of her.
>>60600Sound's good enough for me
"Hey, do you wanna go watch some trebuchet demonstrations?"
>>60604Good to know
>>60609Quick hint. Its a society based on non-aggression, where the robots do all the fighting
>>60611Gay.
Are their any soyboys around?
>>60613Aren't you about to get BBQ'd?
Just fly out of there. He's out of range in the very first round
>>60615Tracy observes Infernius from her position.
>>60617The bots have formed a ring by the hole. Going through would give them all a point blank shot, wouldn't it?
>>60620He has a round or many rounds before they form a ring. He has just refused to specify "I fly away" for some reason
[14d8 = 57]>>60620Yes
And speaking of crispy-fried Infernius, he
still (cuz this is the point that the game was stopped) is taking damage from 2 1/2 breath weapons.
It hurt last time, but we'll re-roll for keks
He had a round before Trump. He could have fled before Trump fled
>>60625You know Cardishil is enormous, right? It'd take several rounds to get back to the hole from the plaza.
>>60624Its super rare at this point, but yeah
>>60625Infernius seemed pretty set on making an entrance.
Making an entrance doesn't involve running away.
>>60627I don't fucking care. Cardishore can be how ever the fuck large it wants to be, Infernius has a flying mount that can move a hell of a lot faster than any of these, and he's higher in the order of initiative
>>60630Meh. Didn't seem that way to me.
>>60631You might wanna cast a spell to protect yourself.
>>60632It's not a matter of "seems," it's a matter of objective fact. Initiative is set and Infernius had a move before the bots next move. Movement and range are mathematical and Infernius had and has the better numbers
>>60634The bots are coming through a hole in the cieling tho. They could've put themselves between him and the door.
We don't even know what feats they have.
>>60631For now, Infernius only took 1 direct blast.
>>60633Good idea.
This is or would be the point that Trump actually made his escape.
>>60634Cuz that's saved him before.
At this point, Infernius has the option of fighting being reduced to an ash-pile, or relegating himself to an ash-pile.
Loved that Anne Frank meme btw
>>60635Then give us the IDs you piece of shit
I wonder if the bots target people with too many IDs per heat signature. There's no way anyone with more than one would have good intentions, and could only be a criminal. So why not fry them?
[d20 = 10]>>60636I attack with multiple over head strikes.
>>60640I don't want to answer, you fags will meta for days
>>60641>>60642>Super rare? I want extra crispy! >>60640Good point.
Tracy places the other 3 IDs in her Bag of Holding, to keep them out of the bots' watch.
>>60641I would've started with Protection from Energy, but suit yourself...
>>60597What do the other people in the group look like? Do they seem like they're of higher status?
*inches toward group*
What does the BOT distribution look like?
>>60646There's a few uniformed dudes, as well as some obviously theatrical types. The uniforms are more official looking.
>>60647Kek
This. Bitches like hearing about their wardrobe
>>60650Tracy appreciates Death's sense of fashion.
>>60649>uniformed dudesNoted.
Tracy figures these individuals may be staff serving in the cardishore government/system/whatever, and observes them cautiously, trying to get a sense of how things work around here.
As far as she can tell, is That Bitch highest ranking in the visible posy at the moment?
>>60651That style of wardrobe is actually increasingly popular in Europe these days
>>60650"I like your cloak. How'd you get it?"
>>60653....
That's not a cloak damn it
[1d20+26 = 32]
Fae spot check on bots
>>60655When'd she get a +26 Spot?
>>60655Fae is outside with Trump, so aside from a hastily concealed (so not) hole in the wall, and a ring of angry bots maintaining perimeter along the top of the wall, not much
>>60656Take a Dragonne, which already has spot skills maxed out, max out spot skills when you get paladin mount die and additional levels, add the wisdom bonus, add the +4 racial bonus dragonnes get, and you've got a very high spot modifier.
Trumpaladin can't spot shit by himself, he can't rely on teammates, and he doesn't have any way of casting "detect invisibility," so he needs Fae to be able to do this for him
>>60658>add the wisdom bonus, add the +4 racial bonusThe Dragonne stats, as listed, include all bonuses.
She does have 8 skill points to allocate from advancement tho.
>>60657Dive for the hole, with all haste. While we're at it, Trump detects alignment on visible bots, using Vanderium's at will detect alignment.
"Vanderiem, can you tell me if these bots are neutral, or something else?"
>>60659I don't give a shit what you think. Go back to playing your character and leave me to mine
>>60660"They're bots lad. They don't have alignments, they just do stuff that they're told to,"
(meaning, lawful)
How many drama queens have advanced thru the Gate at this point?
>>60662Lawful neutral, alright. Two questions: is the Eagles splendor from earlier still in effect, and would resistance to energy (fire) stack or not with the ring of fire resistance?
>>60653Ninja-tier if you take the sandnigger out of the picture.
>>60666Yeah, islam ruined it for ninjas ~_~
>>60665Eagle's splendor would still b in effect, though resistance doesn't stack
'when did he pick that ring for himself?' asks the theif
*shoots self in head for pointless loot-faggotry*
>>60664More importantly, do the high-ranking targets Tracy is observing show any signs of leaving soon?
>>60654Correct, it's actually a scarf.
[8d20 = 104]>>60669No, they seem to feel that the danger (?) is contained.
Oh yes, Infernius was attacking/ No effect (6's).
Rolling to continue barbecue
>>60671Tracy lets out an exaggerated gasp and pretends to take a selfie, imitating the behaviors of the drama-queens around her.
Beneath that, she's wincing at how much that had to hurt.
>>60678Eating over-cooked meals just builds character.
This is entirely out of character for Trumpaladin. The only reason I had him flee last Saturday was because I thought Infernius would do the same and because I thought the bots had a higher save DC. That why when we replayed again, I had him stay and fight. Because him being in the fight was crucial to making sure Infernius faced half the number of bots, and to give him a chance. Trumpaladin could never leave an ally, especially Infernius, to die, as he ran. That's part of why I wanted to just play out the battle without the bullshit. Because it was the only thing Trumpaladin could have done in that situation. Now we have an awkward situation where Infernius is kill after Trumpaladin ran,
and what is there to say about it?
>>60686>half the number of bots.Pretty sure they can target multiple creatures with their flammenwerfers. Remember that mailbox that cornered Brad and Tracy in that alley.
>>60688Because they were standing right next to each other. That's what flame weapons do. They affect small cone. Last Weekend it was 5 bots against Trumpaladin and 6 against Infernius, or 11 against Infernius with no Trumpaladin in the equation. Pay attention
>>60678Whats with those ansi shits?
>>60680kek
>>60683Well,... no,... he's regenerating,... but he is well done
>>60688With the ease of pointing a hose
>>60691Ogham runes cause reasons
How's Death?
>>60693Death seems to think its some sort of holiday or celebration of some sort. Something about friar Patchske or whatever. She wants to have a drink.
>>60691What about the bots around him? Are they getting ready to finish him off?
Also, does Utachit ever take damage in her animated form?
>>60694The celebration of Saint Patrick driving the "snakes"
Jews out of Ireland!
>>60696She literally just explained that the dust won't do shit if someone's already looking for you.
>'I'll be there in a few moments, Flashy. Just let me see what happens to the Bull.' >>60694Torc offers to take her for drinks
Hoping it will go better than last time he went for drinks with a female.>>60697Mr. Snek doesn't like that story
>"#SNAKELIVESMATTER" [1d20+24 = 38]
Rolling to Hide.
>>60695He's pretty finished off. And yes, he smells delicious, aside from the burned hair.
That Bitch makes a mention to several of the ppl and wanders away talking on her phone, attended by a nearby bot, exclaiming "Definitely not those assholes who looted the museum,"
>>60702And the mantis becomes a living stick
The reason I'm such an asshole tonight is because of other things...
>>60705There there, thats not true, you're
always an asshole, at least to me,....
>>60703>[flattered pony empathy]>'Yes, Flashy, I'll be there in a jiffy; you don't need that kitty. Just let me collect that bull's remains.'She feels/thinks, as she makes her way over closer to Infernius's situation.
>>60704Tracy slowly creeps towards his charred remains in stealth.
Have the bots around him dispersed?
>>60708No, they're intent on making sure he doesn't move, aside from the steam wafting from his remains,... which are still regenerating.
Thez meanwhile, thinks for a second, "I wonder what I'nis is doing. I hope he's not getting charred to a crisp."
>>60708>"How are you going to collect the bull's remains and why would it be easier than if you had more speed and three times the hp?">>60706Channing's no good for me
>>60709For whom is that intended?
>>60713To go with my "asshole" shitpost
>>60710Approximately, how many squares away is he from the crowd (need to know because speed/range and stuff)?
"Faust almighty..!" Tracy exclaims under her breath, eyeing the sizzling tender smoked ribs, in both exasperation and peculiar interest
So, are they just continuously burning him, or are they waiting for some kind of signal?
>>60704>Susan's colleagues looted the museum>security is on high because of that>That Bitch has high enough card-access to have a personal bot guard herTracy absorbs all of this info.
>>60715Xp
>>60716Yes. That Bitch is clearly running the show. Continually talking into her device, she makes toward the gates. Occasionally one of the bots spurrrrts the body with more flames (regenerating) but no, they're (and he's) pretty much done at this point
>>60720Tbh, I'm waiting for the demon to emerge, but don't want to be a metafag about it.Tracy appears visibly torn between attempting to retrieve Infernius's remains (at risk of exposing herself) and trying to follow the crown into the gate.
She takes a gander at the crowd around her assessing the situation and trying to figure out where to go from here.
Night faggots. Get this shit done will ya?
>>60722I've already doomed myself to no-sleep.
>>60721It'll be a bit before anyone bothers to remove the ring, I wouldn't wait on it, especially since Tracy doesn't know about that
On her way toward the gates, That Bitch stops mid-stride. She has a visible but short exchange over the phone, before slouching her shoulders and making her way back to the stage.
>>60724I would try harder to stay up right now, but I decided it wasn't worth it to watch you faggots debate cardishil
Again >>60725Does he not die until the ring is removed? Even with negative hit points?
Anyway, Tracy figures trying to retrieve Infernius's stuff is too risky at this point, and proceeds to follow the crowd as she ponders her next move, still absorbing info.
How many rounds would it take to get back to the hole? The city seems pretty big, so Idk.
>>60730Well, he
is dead, but regeneration does and will continue until the ring is removed, yes.
>roundsA few, nothing extensive since she'd be making a direct line
>>60730What's the rush to go through the gates? All that's going to happen if it waits three minutes is that there will be less security then
>>60731Tracy makes a bee-line for the hole in the dome.
>>60732>less security>implyingTracy wanted to follow That Bitch, but figured responding to Brad's request was more important.
>>60733So long as she makes note of which hole she went through
>>60734Well, then she'd have to watch her go through the gate.
Does he want her to come or not?
>>60733Several of the surrounding people seem surprised when the mantis takes off and starts flying, but sure.
>>60734The hole in the roof is huge, there's no mistaking it. As she flies through the top, she notices that the robots don't seem to give a shit