RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1411 replies and 91 files omitted.
>>59655Well... sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to playing along side you when you got back... oh well. Have fun sulking, I guess.
>>59655I could answer essentially every one of your points, but would it be moot?
>>59657I can think of a couple reasons Trump could still be alive if you want to get technical, and considering the spellcaster level of the party, its really not that difficult to go about getting the stuff back (Infernius' will be more difficult) but idk
To be quite honest, aside from Torcuil turning into a pile of sand, this is the first time that character actions have resulted in any serious consequences in spite of numerous opportunities for things to have gone differently. For example, when Torcuil used the Magneto rod on Death, the scythe should have gotten a will save using Death's stats, but it was funnier to just let it play out. The whole point of the game is to have fun and to be creative, such that it is enjoyable for yourself and for others. If its not, then I don't know what to say.
And I did literally post that the choices that Infernius and Trump were making would likely result in them waking up in the entertron without all their stuff. Blatantly.
>>59659You shouldn’t have to say anything. You have been doing a wonderful job. One that I guess Trump can appreciate right now. You keep up the good work GM.
>>59655>if Tracy's faggot had stayed with the group rather than wondering offI'll say right now that I fucked up big time...
What I meant to do was proceed ahead of the group in stealth to figure out what was going on. Once I got there, I had intended to steal some IDs and distribute them to the party, but I dropped the ball on communication and just watched Brad and Infernius step in before I did that...
>it feels like an arms raceIt's never felt that way to me. I just want things, not just to get an advantage over other: it's not a PvP game.
>With all equipment gained over the past six months gone, it's definitely not worth proceeding.Oh don't be that way. Your stuff isn't gone for good, just in a hard place to reach.
There's always more to be gained too. It's not about what you have, it's about what you can get
(says the thief).
I get it if you wanna take a break though.. I'd be pissed if I were in your position...
>>59660It's not the first time we got close to losing our stuff too. That mummy room could've exploded us, and the last room in the temple definitely would've.
>>59663The mummy room wasn't planned, and tbh neither was the self-destructing octahedron. It was a trap, but it was going to be vs spell-casters rather than just <smite> ur dead. I change lots of things on the fly due to sudden inspiration.
I want a dungeon, and maybe this time we won't fucking split the party.
By unplanned, I mean the dust was originally just to conceal the coffins, but when I thought about it from a combustable dust standpoint, I realized it would be a veritable powder keg. The End room of the temple was going to introduce 7 dominant factions that control the rest of the world, outside the empire - which is the largest geographical nation but still a minority by planetary surface. There would be hints and foreshadowing and all sorts of teasers, but suddenly I felt like removing it and transitioning the story in a different manner.
>>59666Yes, satan
>>59667My Satan trips demand a dungeon that starts out like a normal cave, but descends deeper into a hell-scape. The entrance can be the fissures.
>>59666Trips confirm...
I promise not to wander off again...
I guess it's settled then, if GM wants help I'll make maps.
I guess we need to get Stix some gear, plus give Infernius and Trump some temporary replacements.
>>59670We still have that set of Full plate for Brad, and Tracy would let him use her sword.
>>59670Stix has that double-ended banesword for a weapon. He could use some armor though.
>>59672Something that doesn’t catch fire easily I hope
>>59673Rangers' combat style works best when they're wearing light armor or no armor, so we could set him up with some studded leather or chain-shirt.
Was this thread deleted just a few moments ago?
>>59676Trump hit the wrong button
Anyway, leather would be good for Stix
>>59677>hit the wrong buttonpic
Whatever, so long as it's still here..
>>59646Earthquake only has an 80 foot radius. It's a "highly localized spell." It shouldn't have affected Trump at all
How big was the stage/plaza? Maybe they were outside of the AoE and only the bots got targeted.
>>59679I kind of figured everyone was at this point. The bots would have maintained a 75' perimeter around both. Are they near each other or not?
>>59682If the bots are in a circle that is almost as wide in radius as the radius of the spell, then clearly they would need to be at least 150 feet from each other or else the circles would over lap and bots would be on top of each other
>>59683I was envisioning a park sort of like the National Mall in Washington DC. Not the entire thing, but a square or rectangle of it, as big as the square which contains the Washington Monument at the largest or as small as the rectangles at the center of the Museum district. That's a square with a diameter perhaps as large as one half mile, and at least 1000 feet across. The bots were stated as occupying the perimeter, presumably almost evenly spaced apart from each other. The idea was, as soon as Infernius exposed himself, to run to the perimeter and destroy the bots one by one using Fae's speed, and to do so before they could maneuver into a group
When did That Bitch get away?
>>59684The entire park, sure, but this would have occupied only a space of about ellipse road
>>59685During the earthquake. She has status, and doesn't need to wait in line
>>596861. That could have been specified or at least implied earlier
2. He's still not within 80 fucking feet of Infernius
>>59686Eclipse road is 1,800 feet in diameter, or 900 feet from the center to the perimeter. Now how the hell fast are these bots to close the distance to encircle
and attack in the same round?
>>59689And Earthquake still has a radius of 80 feet.
>>59687>>59690You're not gonna let me squish him are you >_<*
>>59692I want to know why distance is taken into account when Infernius wants to melee the enemy or when Tracy wants to be a bitch, but not when casting spells that have "a very localized effect" in the spell description, or when Trumpaladin tries to execute a plan (the only one available at the time) the crux of which is taking advantage of the distance between the bots's starting position
>>59695Because the robots don't run right up to a target, they have a ranged weapon, though incurring a saving throw rather than an attach roll. In this case I emphasized the range because he wouldn't have been able to full round attack, he's have to do a move action from which he could do a single attack to end the round. The bots have a base movement speed of 55
>>59695"an intense but highly localized tremor rips the ground"
80 ft radius centered on spell caster
That means the spell would have
barely affected the bots that were holding a circle 75 away from him. It absolutely would not have affected Trumpaladin, Fae, the bots near Trumpaladin, or Tracy.
>>59696A ranged weapon of 75 feet. Not 750 feet. The shazbots are "around the perimeter" according to
>>58964. If the park is approximately the size of the eclipse circle then it is ~900 radius with Infernius near the center. This means that the furthest ones would have taken 4 rounds to be within 75 feet of Infernius assuming they go 4 times 55 feet a round, and a varying number of rounds to reach Trumpaladin, since he started near the perimeter and only exposed himself to attack a bot that was near the permiter, leaving him a round away from probably two and a little further away for others.
>>5969580 ft circular spread is a really wide AoE for a spell; I can't even think of a non-epic spell with a wider radius. It's 'very localized' for an earthquake.
>when Tracy wants to be a bitchOh come on. There was nothing to be gained from being close to the center of action there as a rogue: she couldn't damage the enemy and didn't have the hit points to survive even one blast.
The reason I even got those shoes was so that she could escape combat scenarios and sneak back in at times of opportunity.
Believe it or not,
this wasn't set up against you; it's just fucking unfortunate.
We can get your stuff back over time; it's not lost. Can't we all just move forward?
Is one misfired spell really all it's going to take to destroy this party?
>>59698Fuck off
>It's a really wide radiusHe's not in that radius either way. It would be physically impossible for him to be in that radius, because there's a fucking ring of steel at 75 feet
>>59699>Fuck offOh bite me. I hear that every day from you.
Why have you always got to be so antagonistic? Everyone in this party only want to have fun, and you take everything personally. I get you're upset, you have every right to be, but there's no need to be so hostile about it. We're only trying to help here.
>>59700Bye.
I g2g too.
>>59702Alright, I didn't really mean it that way, but I don't feel like deleting that post either. I'm just tired...
I gotta go do shit..
>>59702Because anon, everything is shit
*feeds birdies*
*feeds mimic*
*feeds orcs*
>>59705*lies down in front of tracy*
>>59706*looks down a bull, chin turned up*
"You fucked up."
Let's see, the last thing Torc was doing is getting Mr. Snek registered...
"Gah, wait. If you're here..
how'd you die?"
>"Tell him he looks like a burger"
"Mr. Snek wants you to know you look like a burger"
>>59709"Brad fell into earth, me got surrounded by robots and ashed"
I'm maintaining
>>59697. The entire logic behind everything was based on the common sense that the fairground was not tiny
>>59711Were you in melee range of the bots?
>>59712He used Fae to close the distance
>>59713Did he cast the spell on the bots or on himself?
The spell has 400 ft range.
>>59714The way Infernius would have been able to damage the most bra would have been to cast it on himself, because six boys were in a circle around him with a radius of 75 feet. The bots were split into two circles of 6 and 5 with radiuses of 75 feet
>>59715So you wouldn't be caught in it?
Did I ever end up using the star card? Cause I don't think so.
>>59710"Sounds fun..."
>>59717You did. You raised your Char to 20 i think.
*sniffs around entertron*
[worried pony noises]
"... Flashy..?"
*tears drop*
>>59717"No, it my fault he dead!"
Stix watches this in silent confusion.
Yes, I'm going to write a fucking brief justifying the Leeroy Jenkins plan.
The Fairground is stated as being approximately 1800 feet in diameter, in presumably either a circular or square shape, and the bots are stated as being "mostly around the perimeter." The Bots are stated as having a movement speed of 55. This means they can move 220 feet in a round, maybe 275 feet if they have "run." And only 55 feet if they want to make a standard action. You know, like deploy a flame thrower. This means that it would take the bots four full rounds to come near enough to the center to be able to be within 75 of the center. 75 feet is the length of the flame. So if Infernius were in the center - assuming the stage is near the center, but a bit off, it would take four rounds before the bots got to him. And if Infernius were off center - let's say off center by 200 feet, it would take three turns for the nearest bots to get to him, and 5 turns for the furthest away bots to get to him. If some of the bots were not around the perimeter, and nearer the center - say, maybe there were by the stage - then these bots may have engaged Infernius after a single round, while others were three or four or five rounds away. Perhaps infernius could have killed or disabled these before the further away bots even approached.
Trumpaladin did not start in the center. He was nearer the perimeter because he was looking for the Cardishore equivalent of an Apple Store in the stalls. He spent a round at least running on Fae - speed 320 feet a round - and pounced on a bot, disabling it. The reason was obvious. He had to disable the bots, as he had no way of not confronting them eventually, and since Infernius was going to get himself killed, there was nothing else to do. Now, it must be understood that a circle with a diameter of 1800 feet has a radius of over 1 mile. Bots would be 470+ feet apart from each other on the perimeter if evenly spaced. As they near the center, the distance between bots decreases, but by the time Trumpaladin engages, probably only two bots would be within 220 feet of him, and able to engage in one round, with another two bots arriving on the round after that, and another one after that, or three rounds for 5 bots to close the range. Possibly more, but I am no good at Trigonometry. That's just the time to come close, not the time to also use a flame thrower
Now, the bots have more HP than Trumpaladin could possibly destroy in one round, especially with an AC that evidently is about 30. But Trumpaladin has a weapon specifically designed to damage objects that he never used before, and he has a feat he never used before to help with sundering. So he can sunder the flamethroing nozzles - with the help of Fae to close distance - essentially once per round, to disable the bots in that way. Trumpaladin also is built to the greatest extent possible to do well on saving throws. So it seems plausible that he could have dispatched 5 bots if they engaged at the rate it would take them to close the distance, rather than magically but not literally magically all closing the distance all at once.
>But the Lady was calling in reinforcements
The average police response time in the US in emergencies is 11 minutes. Cardishore is more technologically advanced, more secure, and smaller, so I think we can safely say they'd get there more quickly. But it would still take them a minute. 10 rounds. So Trumpaladin and Infernius could have dispatched most of the bots, and then opened smoke screen (trumpaladin has the flask), open a dimension gate, fly away, run away and hide in a house, or figured out something in the few rounds.
There is no fucking way at all that Earthquake could possibly have affected Trumpaladin or anyone not in Infernius's circle. It has a radius of 80 feet, and the distance from Infernius to the bots around him alone was 75 feet. There is no reason at all to believe that Trumpaladin and his 75 foot radius of bots overlapped
[1d20+31 = 32]>>59726B L U F F T I M E"No he didn't. If he did he would have died, and do you see him in the entertron?"
>>59727I'm not arguing or anything, but how do you know this much about the distance and proximity of things? It all seemed much closer together to me.
[20d1 = 20]>>59728FUCK THESE DICE
>>59730REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>59729GM says in
>>59686 that the fairgrounds are about the size of the area enclosed by Ellipse Road in the National Mall. Ellipse Road is a little more than one half kilometer in diameter
[1d20 = 11]>>59728Persuasion
"It is my fault! He must be stuck down there!"
[1d20+5 = 16]>>59733"Then we will find him, and make sure he's safe."
Rolling to calm Infernius
>>59735"There there Mr. McRib, we'll get this fixed."
>>59736"I was gonna drag you along anyway so I could meet you, so yes."
>>59737“Alright! Where are we headed?”
>>59738"Cardishit, I haven't been there since I third wheeled on Infernius and Thez's wedding."
>>59716Unless Infernius were intentionally trying to target Trumpaladin, there is no fucking way he would have been within the radius of the Earthquake
>>59739“Sounds lovely...” he remarks sarcastically
He gets up.
“I don’t suppose the road there passes by the port?”
>>59741"Oh yeah"
>>59742"Beautiful wedding, too much blood though. I think it does, we'd have to stop by the port anyway though."
[worried pony noises]
"... Flashy...?!"
>>59744"Tracy.... were gonna go try to get brad out of the ground we could use your help."
>>59745"... Really?"
>>59746"Reeeeeeeeee! Non-consensual hugs!"
>>59743“I would ask... but I suppose I don’t really want to know. Anywho, I left something by mistake there and I hope no thief stole it before I get the chance to get it back.”
>>59745“And perhaps while we are there we can get a shovel and pickaxe to aid our exploration for the missing fellow?”
>>59748"We murdered a lot of communists, but yeah we can swing by"
>>59747Torc hugs tighter
"Too bad, I'm violating your NAP"
>>59747>>59748"Yea we need tracy to go ghost"
[1d20 = 17]>>59752>6+9NiceSnek takes over for Torc who has now been stabbed
>>59753“Yikes! Are you alright?”
Stix runs over to him.
>>59752You don't get Reflex saves for attack rolls, waif.
>>59754"Yeah, I'm used to it really"
>>59756“Ok... note to self: Tracy needs personal space.”
>>59757"Eh, at least it isn't my haggis"
>>59758“Again... probably don’t want to know.”
>>59759"Nope, you really don't. Shall we get going?"
>>59760“I’m ready. Lead the way my friend.”
Tracy's faggot, the porn thread fell off the front page, and we have guests over
>>59763Talk to the dev squad about a function to tell you where the duplicate file is if you post a pic that's already in the thread. Nobody ever contributes but me because I post all the new shit.
>that file already exists in this thread
Which one, dammit?!
It fucking sucks when you're using hotlinks.
>>59770Are those birds considered exotic by chance?
>>59772They're Rocs: giant ass birds.
Tracy adopted them.
>>59773I was just wondering, because on of the ranger spell takes about needing a feather from exotic origin to make a wind wall... sounded interesting
>>59774I can’t spell today! Ugh!
>>59774Materials for your spells probably won't really be an issue, fyi, but it's good to explore/consider.
Tracy could use help with the grooming at times too.
Stix needs a pet tho.
Shilling for one of these things, or at least just a pup.
>>59777Trips demand a pet! How do I get one though? Are there pet shops in the port? Or do I tackle some in the wild and train them?
>>59778Patience. Trumpaladin received his business partner when Elway directed her to arrive from the plane of Football with a Kajit caravan at the city walls. Torcuil's scaly waifu was crafted from a piece of wood
>>59778Books say it's a 24 hour ritual to call a beast from the wild or other planes to be your companion. Or you could get one through story or any other way.
>>59779An animal companion isn't the same as a paladin's mount tho.
>>59777>>59782An adult would be kind of OP tho..
>>59779>scaly waifu>"Am I being sexualized without my consent? This is a clear violation of the NAP.""What'd you say Mr. Snek?"
>"nothing" >>59784Well, snek is a staff, so yes he's being objectified. Is Snek a feminist now?
"Tell her to gather three lilies of white
Yesterday holds memories in time —
To place at my headstone, beneath the moon's light
Then she'll be a true love of mine —
For ever she'll be the one true love of mine..."
>>59739I think your mistaking Cardashill with Durpistan
>>59778Yes actually, though the best pets come of weird inspiration and ti
mely dice rolls. I suppose trips might suffice tho
>>59789"Thez brad is stuck in a hole"
>>59789Interesting. You will have to tell me more about these timely rolls.
but I’m probably going to pass out any minute >>59790"That doesn't explain why
you're emerging from the entertron," she replies, deadpan.
>>59791No worriies, as you will
>>59791A recent example is where Infernius wandered off looking for an animal to be adopted into the developing ranch idea. He rolled a 20 on his 'finding shit' roll, and ended up making friends with blink doge
>>59792"Me got burned to death by robots in cardishore"
Yes, I can hold out forever
>>59795Infernius lost track of him around the time he made his 'spectacular entrance'.
>>59796Yes, yes, we're getting to that.
There's a fair case to be made that the ruling on the whole "Earthquake and whoops Trump got squished" bit. For one, Infernius has neglected to realize that since Trump (would have) been kill before him, that Trump would then be in the Entertron. I know I bear overwhelming blame in not addressing that, but Infernius was right there and though Trump was unresponsive at the time his character would still have been present. Because of how it was minimally described, the outcome of Trump is not determined, and could be expressed along a spectrum
>>59794"I let you run off without me one time,
one time, and you're waltzing out of the entertron,"
"It'll be fine" he said," she pantomimes
>>59798"Me was surrounded by 10 robots with flamethrowers"
>>59797If Trumpaladin is not killed in an earthquake, then neither are there 10 robots facing Infernius - only six minus those that get tipped over. He wouldn't have died (as quickly)
>>59799"Boy, its a good thing I stayed behind, we had a dramatic venture of me attacking the city cuz me and they were bored. I'm so glad you got to get murdered," she says, very deadpan.
>>59801"Come on baby, me sorry but you, addy, and the towns saftey is more important than me."
>>59802"Says the bull that just gave form to a pestilential demon,"
>>59806I guess we are not going on the mission after all. Oh well.
>>59807No no, this is a different story.
The mission is still on
>>59808But if Trump isn’t stuck in rock anymore, then there is no quest to get him out.
>>59809Oh
Can't Trump have stayed on the surface, albeit missing a Chunk of health?
>>59810GM makes it sound as if he isn’t dead yet, but is about to, which Trump is not happy about. He did say several times in the discord he was not rolling with it.
>>59800There's still a lot of robots though, and "hundreds" more pouring in through the roof.
>>59795Go look for your other dog.
>>59777Brachyurus is best pupper.
>>59821There was a shill? I always miss the best posts. ;_;
>>59825This.
Sometimes I miss the rampant faggotry..
*Feeds mimic pastrami sandwich*
>>59828Fucking hell.
That faggot already left at least five of his abhorrent threads on /sp/.
>>59828It was Zald with his fucking undertale lesbian fish
>>59830I thought zald didnt reply to people?
>>59832That undertale lesbian fish thing is his avatar now basically. He historically would respond to posts but would not link them (maybe he's posting from a safari browser on his phone?)
*brushes birds to keep them free of parasites and sores*
*Takes them to hop around the holodeck*
>>59834*mammoth-sized chicks hop around the virtual park*
<CHEEP!><CHEEP?><CHEEP!><CHEEP!> I can no longer access Discord...
>>59837GM is going to work, so you didn't miss anything. Except that Hitler commands Infernius "to fix thy own fuck ups"
>>59840*Cheeks grow flushed as she watches the birds hop and tumble about the place*
>>59840Especially since its that time of year, my local supply store has basins full of cheep-cheep
>>59842If Trumpaladin can proceed with his turn as he would have, then it is
Fae: Standard Action, cats obscuring mist. Move action, move the 75 feet to one of the robots
Trumpaladin: As I tried to do in
>>59438. Except if he can use Divine Might (his racial bonus feat has never been specified), then add that
>>59843Unless Sanctuary is effective against the flamethrowers. Then she casts sanctuary on self
If we're moving back several rounds, can Tracy attempt to snipe That Bitch before she gets to the gate?
I gotta Level-up so Tracy can summon her special cohort..
>>59845Tracy creeps up to get within ~30 feet of her.
>>59845Was she within 60 feet?
>>59847Well, Trumpaladin is facing 5 DC 10 monsters all by himself, has already killed two of the things
by himself >>59849>W/n 60 ftShe was hiding in the crowd as they moved away from the action.
>>59852They're monsters GM made up tho. How'd you determine that?
>>59853Well, let's see
The DC on the flame thrower is allegedly 22. That's the same as a Juvenile Red Dragon. The AC seems to be about 30, which is similar to an Old Red Dragon CR 20 or that Mummy Lord CR 15. They have a weak point (the Nozzle) which takes the CR down, but they seem to have an HP higher than 100, which is normal for most CR8+ monsters. The damage on the breath weapons is allegedly 14d8, although I think GM is mistaking a time he rolled for two of them, so maybe 7d8. 14d8 is similar to the 12d10 of an Adult Red Dragon CR15, and 7d8 is similar to a Young Red Dragon CR7. However, a Dragon can only use the weapon once per every few rounds. Like every 4 rounds or whatever, while these things can use it every single round. So these things are a hell of a lot more dangerous than a normal red dragon, at least to a warrior.
So these things are probably like CR10 to CR15, hard to say
>>59854>All this metaThe rules for CR weren't made to identify monsters' strength, they were meant for making/advancing them, for GM
Comparing things to dragons isn't proper either: a GM might consider speed, AC, the number of sides per HD, temperament, and a whole other list of things if he gave a fuck about getting CR right.
>15Nah. These things look like dull pushovers by themselves. I'd say 8 CR as individuals. They've just got tough armor and a dangerous extraordinary attack.
The encounter itself though? Idk about that. They're certainly dangerous when they surround you.
>>59855CR kind of falls apart when you take it to an individual level.
What really matters is if your character has the ability to damage the enemy or not.
>>59855These fucking flamethrowers definitely raise the CR on them. I think 10, like a Juvenile Red Dragon. Maybe more or less depending on the damage rolls
>tough armor and a dangerous attackYeah. What else is there exactly? They are highly mobile and have high HP. Only Infernius and Trumpaladin even has the BAB to beat their armor half the time, and they have too high of an HP for area spells to matter all that much
>Tracy's faggot complaining about anyone metaposting >>59857Meh, idk.
I just don't think it'd take four lvl 10 characters to fell just one of these things.