RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal
1411 replies and 105 files omitted.
>>59455
It’s always one more..
Your never satisfied!
https://youtu.be/OxHAN6JIkNo
>>59456
“Not as interesting as gnomes I bet.... what are gnomes by the way?”
>>59457
“Hey! It is a perfectly normal fear out of all the things most are afraid of irrationally.”
It’s always one more..
Your never satisfied!
https://youtu.be/OxHAN6JIkNo
>>59456
“Not as interesting as gnomes I bet.... what are gnomes by the way?”
>>59457
“Hey! It is a perfectly normal fear out of all the things most are afraid of irrationally.”
>>59458
"Its not a criticism, I just figure that since he's the magic guy he should know. By the way, doesn't I'nis' sword catch fire sometimes? Probably better mention to him too,... still haven't figured out what to do about Lenos yet tho." she says holding her chin.
"Its not a criticism, I just figure that since he's the magic guy he should know. By the way, doesn't I'nis' sword catch fire sometimes? Probably better mention to him too,... still haven't figured out what to do about Lenos yet tho." she says holding her chin.
"In fact, if you let snek eat one and then turn him into a staff, all you'd have to do is set off an explosion and say that the gnome exploded."
>>59462
None, but since Trump isn't escaping the arial bots she's calling in are proceeding in through the roof.
None, but since Trump isn't escaping the arial bots she's calling in are proceeding in through the roof.
>>59460
“Huh... so, I remember you have this... meme magic. Think a pony like me could learn something like that?”
“Huh... so, I remember you have this... meme magic. Think a pony like me could learn something like that?”
"And incidentally, is Snek on file in the Entertron? I mean I know he's a magical creature, but I don't see why it wouldn't work,"
>>59471
Yes but this would be more for situations like if the mummy room was set on fire, which I was certain would happen but somehow didn't
Yes but this would be more for situations like if the mummy room was set on fire, which I was certain would happen but somehow didn't
If you want an idea of what it is like to wake up in the Entertron, refer to Gantz
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*plays a generic Fashwave song*
K, so Tracy is closing on That Bitch, but low key; bluff check.
I think its now Infernius' turn
I think its now Infernius' turn
Use uatachit
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>>59488
*casts earthquake*
"Fucking robots REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ME AM GONNA KILL ALL OF THESE FUCKERS THEN ME AM GONNA RUN YOU THROUGH WITH MY ZWEIHANDER YOU RACEMIXING WHORE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
*casts earthquake*
"Fucking robots REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ME AM GONNA KILL ALL OF THESE FUCKERS THEN ME AM GONNA RUN YOU THROUGH WITH MY ZWEIHANDER YOU RACEMIXING WHORE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
While the red bull messes up the place, Tracy uses the distraction to discreetly inch closer to That Bitch, until she's withing ~30 ft.
In her turn of course.
In her turn of course.
[11d20 = 125]
Well, it looks like only Infernius falls over from the spell. Additionally,
Well, it looks like only Infernius falls over from the spell. Additionally,
3 of the shazbots fall over.
In addition to that, everyone roll a d100 regardless of saving throw
In addition to that, everyone roll a d100 regardless of saving throw
I rolled d20s
[2d20 = 17]
Alright. Everyone who got 25 or less gets to roll another reflex save DC 20, to avoid falling into the fissures that have opened in the ground.
Alright. Everyone who got 25 or less gets to roll another reflex save DC 20, to avoid falling into the fissures that have opened in the ground.
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>>59525
>Bright glowing hand manifests in the air to catch Infernius before he falls to the center of the earth.
>Bright glowing hand manifests in the air to catch Infernius before he falls to the center of the earth.
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[internal pony screaming]
GM, do you believe in the hollow earth theory by any chance?
It looks like I won't be the only one to lose all of his stuff in this city...
Welp, it looks like Trump and one of the shazbots fall in, and since everyone is immobile (not flying) no one can prevent them from being crushed to death as the fissure closes.
Trump summarily wakes up in the Entertron.
But he's still hungry
Trump summarily wakes up in the Entertron.
But he's still hungry
>>59544
"YEE BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!" emanates from the center of the earth...
Poor Vadereim... He didn't deserve such a cruel fate...
Tracy bottom jaw drops to the floor, and she promptly gtfo's the area.
"YEE BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!" emanates from the center of the earth...
Poor Vadereim... He didn't deserve such a cruel fate...
Tracy bottom jaw drops to the floor, and she promptly gtfo's the area.
Tracy ditches the retarded bull, and makes a break for the perimeter, stealthily, deciding that her precious knives can wait, while she goes to the Entertron to console her husband.
>>59551
Ya' done fucked up!
>>59551
Ya' done fucked up!
>>59556
Nope. And come to think of it, he probably wouldn't wake up in the entertron, cuz his body wouldn't be completely destroyed, he'd just be crushed to death and somewhere deep in the ground.
Nope. And come to think of it, he probably wouldn't wake up in the entertron, cuz his body wouldn't be completely destroyed, he'd just be crushed to death and somewhere deep in the ground.
Personally, I would prefer that not be the outcome, but I fail to see how it could be otherwise, given the spell description
Infernius, ur gonna' craft Brad a new set of stuff.
Can Tracy fast-travel back to the tower while Infernius fends for huimself? She makes a bee-line for the Entertron
I can feel Brad's reeling from here, and I just wanna say I feel it too, m8.
Tracy runs all the way home
[worried pony noises]
Tracy runs all the way home
[worried pony noises]
Tbh I'm contemplating tweaking how the Entertron works, that it activates whenever the player dies, rather than when their body is destroyed.
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>>59573
How about players can force the machine to activate on another’s death, and it only automatically activates on body destruction?
How about players can force the machine to activate on another’s death, and it only automatically activates on body destruction?
What happened to That Bitch? She didn't fall over?
I was going to assassinate her and take her card, but then shit happened.
I was going to assassinate her and take her card, but then shit happened.
>>59575
Well it would be Trump's turn,....
I guess that makes it the shazbots turn. With Trump no longer an issue, the 10 that remain center around Infernius and douse him with flame. Roll 10d20
Well it would be Trump's turn,....
I guess that makes it the shazbots turn. With Trump no longer an issue, the 10 that remain center around Infernius and douse him with flame. Roll 10d20
File (): 8DBD82BFE2EBEEA1C6B0DB8A94CE6963-573817.jpg (560.4 KB, 657x1097, 1520739887553.jpg)
[84d8 = 362]
>>59591
And his dex is shit,... so let me rephrase. 7 of them land. He got a 20, so I'll have 1 miss, but he got hit by 6 of them. 6 x 14d8
>>59591
And his dex is shit,... so let me rephrase. 7 of them land. He got a 20, so I'll have 1 miss, but he got hit by 6 of them. 6 x 14d8
>>59592
I could see an interesting scenario where a villain captures the tower and makes clones of us, most are zombies, but the “boss” fight would be actual, fully functional clones to fight
I could see an interesting scenario where a villain captures the tower and makes clones of us, most are zombies, but the “boss” fight would be actual, fully functional clones to fight
Well fuck.
That was an epic failure of a session.
That was an epic failure of a session.
I literally can't even..!]
Goodnight fellas'.
Sorry, Brad's faggot...
Tracy will let him use anything she has, if it's any compensation.
Goodnight fellas'.
Sorry, Brad's faggot...
Tracy will let him use anything she has, if it's any compensation.
File (): 760FA4A6915BE1713B7C00C2A995788E-51426.jpg (50.2 KB, 711x399, 1478192957784.jpg.cf.jpg)
Sorrt brad. I didnt want it to be like this.
>>59601
So here's the thing. Yes, the ring of regeneration would sustain Infernius,... right up until his corpse was stripped of its equipment, especially when it ceased to die entirely in spite of ridiculous damage. So he would die, upon the ring being taken. There will be more consequences, but for now - as I said would happen - Infernius wakes up in the Entertron.
And he's still hungry
So here's the thing. Yes, the ring of regeneration would sustain Infernius,... right up until his corpse was stripped of its equipment, especially when it ceased to die entirely in spite of ridiculous damage. So he would die, upon the ring being taken. There will be more consequences, but for now - as I said would happen - Infernius wakes up in the Entertron.
And he's still hungry
... it was inevitable anyhow, since the eds were gonna show up in pretty soon.
>>59602
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tracy has never felt so glad to be a Rogue, but also never felt so helplessly ashamed at being unable to protect anyone...
*Goes to bed for real this time*
*Goes to bed for real this time*
>>59607
As he makes his way there, he passes Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez, who's eyes widen alarmingly at his entrance
As he makes his way there, he passes Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez, who's eyes widen alarmingly at his entrance
>>59609
"Fug," says Thez.
Meanwhile, back at the park. As a few of the Cardishore administration begin removing items from Infernius' should-be corpse, ultimately removing the ring (but not the sleeves, cuz they don't just "come off") a very curious thing happens. For one, Infernius' entire body is enveloped by the sleeves, the mouths elongating and distoring to consume the entirety of his body, meeting ultimately at his chest, and partially burrowing into his skin, forming a golden yin-yang looking symbol. His entire body now covered with that shiny-black skin, and his eyes replaced by glowing red lights, not-infernius slowly climbs to its feet.
"Fug," says Thez.
Meanwhile, back at the park. As a few of the Cardishore administration begin removing items from Infernius' should-be corpse, ultimately removing the ring (but not the sleeves, cuz they don't just "come off") a very curious thing happens. For one, Infernius' entire body is enveloped by the sleeves, the mouths elongating and distoring to consume the entirety of his body, meeting ultimately at his chest, and partially burrowing into his skin, forming a golden yin-yang looking symbol. His entire body now covered with that shiny-black skin, and his eyes replaced by glowing red lights, not-infernius slowly climbs to its feet.
>for once Torc wasn't the one that died
Think a well-worded Wish or Miracle could retrieve just Vadereim at least?
>>59617
I was just wondering, since that spell can do shit like part the red seas, or safely transfer an entire party to another plane, or reverse an erupting volcano, that it could maybe, with appropriate sacrifice, retrieve a single object from underground, if the caster prayed hard enough to his deity.
I was just wondering, since that spell can do shit like part the red seas, or safely transfer an entire party to another plane, or reverse an erupting volcano, that it could maybe, with appropriate sacrifice, retrieve a single object from underground, if the caster prayed hard enough to his deity.
>>59621
I guess so..
I just thought of the image of Infernius slowly sinking into a giant sausage machine while he heils sadly and plopping out dozens of cartoonish Sausage-Infernius' on the bottom end of the machine to be grimly amusing in this situation..
*abandons shoop in progress*
I guess so..
I just thought of the image of Infernius slowly sinking into a giant sausage machine while he heils sadly and plopping out dozens of cartoonish Sausage-Infernius' on the bottom end of the machine to be grimly amusing in this situation..
*abandons shoop in progress*
>>59623
Aaaand I just closed the tab...
What a shame.
Might do it again after the group dialogue..
I think Brad is still mourning his loot..
Aaaand I just closed the tab...
What a shame.
Might do it again after the group dialogue..
I think Brad is still mourning his loot..
>>59624
Oh he'll get it back, he just needs to not go Leeroy Jenkins. Not that that was precisely what killed him, but it certainly set everything in motion.
Gawd I was dying laughing when it happened tho
Oh he'll get it back, he just needs to not go Leeroy Jenkins. Not that that was precisely what killed him, but it certainly set everything in motion.
Gawd I was dying laughing when it happened tho
It's not all Infernius's fault though.
I should've done something to help them escape before that even happened, but I just watched thinking that Tracy would die before the mailboxes..
Idk what happened to Fae, but her chances of surviving/escaping on her own would've been nil, even if Tracy helped her out..
I should've done something to help them escape before that even happened, but I just watched thinking that Tracy would die before the mailboxes..
Idk what happened to Fae, but her chances of surviving/escaping on her own would've been nil, even if Tracy helped her out..
>>59625
It was quite the epic-tier fuck up.
>PCs get near party
>Realize they'll die without ID cards
>Rogue tries to get everyone cards
>Neglects to tell anyone about it (sorry)
>Infernius crashes party in vibrant display
>Chaos ensues
>Drama queen stampede
>Terminators close in
>Flamethrowers throw
>Brad jumps in to save the day
>Oh shit
>Brad tries to escape on Fae in the air
>Comes back figuring he could take out the bots and save Infernius
>Infernius has an idea
>Bull casts powerful AoE spell
>Does minimal damage to the enemy and kills an ally
>Bull is turned to ashes in next turn
>Infiltration plan scrapped by remaining PC
>Two PCs worth of loot lost
Yep, that's an academic record alright.
It was quite the epic-tier fuck up.
>PCs get near party
>Realize they'll die without ID cards
>Rogue tries to get everyone cards
>Neglects to tell anyone about it (sorry)
>Infernius crashes party in vibrant display
>Chaos ensues
>Drama queen stampede
>Terminators close in
>Flamethrowers throw
>Brad jumps in to save the day
>Oh shit
>Brad tries to escape on Fae in the air
>Comes back figuring he could take out the bots and save Infernius
>Infernius has an idea
>Bull casts powerful AoE spell
>Does minimal damage to the enemy and kills an ally
>Bull is turned to ashes in next turn
>Infiltration plan scrapped by remaining PC
>Two PCs worth of loot lost
Yep, that's an academic record alright.
>>59628
The spell would have been great against creatures, but the bots get a racial bonus to avoid falling because of their design (they roll around on wheels, and their weight and center of balance makes them easy to keep upright). One of the bots did get squished, (I suppose a case could be made that it might be intact,... something to keep in mind when retrieving stuff) but yeah that was something else
The spell would have been great against creatures, but the bots get a racial bonus to avoid falling because of their design (they roll around on wheels, and their weight and center of balance makes them easy to keep upright). One of the bots did get squished, (I suppose a case could be made that it might be intact,... something to keep in mind when retrieving stuff) but yeah that was something else
Next time I go to Cardishore, imma enter legally and leave all my shit back at the tower.
>>59630
Other than trying to find knives, what was the party doing there? I’m still a little unclear on that part.
Other than trying to find knives, what was the party doing there? I’m still a little unclear on that part.
>>59629
If the mailboxes are shaped like how I imagine them, they seem like they'd be helpless if they ever did get pushed over.
If the mailboxes are shaped like how I imagine them, they seem like they'd be helpless if they ever did get pushed over.
>>59638
Would they have any way of pushing back if someone were to push them over from the side, or would it just be like cow-tipping?
Would they have any way of pushing back if someone were to push them over from the side, or would it just be like cow-tipping?
If you want to get thorough, it was inspired by my frustration with having to write out in gnome-speak. It suddenly occurred to me that I could effectively end the dialogue if Farzalington happened to have crafted a James Bond esque grenade pen, and for stylization I opted for Farzalington to start talking shit about GM which resulted in the pen malfunctioning and exploding.
>>59645
The meme knives are still there, and there are a number of possible avenues to getting them.
Leeroy Jenkins is not one of them.
>>59645
The meme knives are still there, and there are a number of possible avenues to getting them.
Leeroy Jenkins is not one of them.
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>>59646
I'll get them some day...
As she runs towards the port, Tracy turns her head to glance back at the Starting-Equipment-Devouring city, and silently swears a vow vengeance on that wretched land.
I'll get them some day...
As she runs towards the port, Tracy turns her head to glance back at the Starting-Equipment-Devouring city, and silently swears a vow vengeance on that wretched land.
>>59647
Well they don't all have Bond pens, but they do all have something that in certain circumstances can explode
Well they don't all have Bond pens, but they do all have something that in certain circumstances can explode
>>59650
The Asians do this on occasion. In WWII the Japanese planned to use bomb vests for civilians to die with honor if they were captured during the land invasion the US was considering
The Asians do this on occasion. In WWII the Japanese planned to use bomb vests for civilians to die with honor if they were captured during the land invasion the US was considering
I think this is my cue to get off.
If I stop to think about it, there is much to say about the event itself. Of course Infernius cast the Earthquake. But that was only because GM, who entirely forgot about distance when the robots had to move from their positions dispersed along the edges of a park presumably as large as the National Mall and all gather together in the same location and could make a full attack the same round, suddenly remembered distance when Infernius's Faggot wanted to engage in melee. The situation never would have happened if Tracy's faggot had stayed with the group rather than wondering off. Or would have communicated something - anything. Or if Infernius hadn't insisted on provoking a fight. And then of course why the hell could Fae not try to grab Trumpaladin if he was riding her? And why the hell couldn't we go with the play through I tried to make in saturday. But maybe it's my fault for making two dice rolls for what should have been one. But whatever. There's nothing to be gained by resentment and arguing any more.
I was dreading that session in the way I dread a lot of sessions. It's not fun any more, it feels like an arms race. With all equipment gained over the past six months gone, it's definitely not worth proceeding.
If I stop to think about it, there is much to say about the event itself. Of course Infernius cast the Earthquake. But that was only because GM, who entirely forgot about distance when the robots had to move from their positions dispersed along the edges of a park presumably as large as the National Mall and all gather together in the same location and could make a full attack the same round, suddenly remembered distance when Infernius's Faggot wanted to engage in melee. The situation never would have happened if Tracy's faggot had stayed with the group rather than wondering off. Or would have communicated something - anything. Or if Infernius hadn't insisted on provoking a fight. And then of course why the hell could Fae not try to grab Trumpaladin if he was riding her? And why the hell couldn't we go with the play through I tried to make in saturday. But maybe it's my fault for making two dice rolls for what should have been one. But whatever. There's nothing to be gained by resentment and arguing any more.
I was dreading that session in the way I dread a lot of sessions. It's not fun any more, it feels like an arms race. With all equipment gained over the past six months gone, it's definitely not worth proceeding.
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