Torc hopes to kick Death's ass tonight
Gosh these imaginary horseshoes are sexy.
[happy nerd noises]
I'm still directing you to >>32012 →
>tfw when i cant log into my rabb.it so i had to make a new one.
GM, how is Torc fairing against Death himself?
Actually, Trumpaladin calls Fae, so he can give her the bracers, and tells her in person to look over the homefront
*stamps hooves in anticipation (she really
likes the shoes and jacket), but nods understandingly with a determined, serious expression*
"I know, Flashy. I'm prepared to give this at all."
Gosh, imagine a slick, black motorcycle jacket/suit that perfectly fits to her body no matter her size. Smooth as fuck.
Actually, the magneto rod threw me. I can't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to steal it, which kind of nerfs the whole fight. 3.5e has it being Vs. a Dread Wraith, but that's lame; I was going 2nd edition, but without the scythe, death is kind of a bitch desu
For once, just once, you got the aesthetics right
*Trumpaladin appreciates and compliments Tracy's sexy black Jacket*
Haha fuck your planning
Torc ain't dying tonight.
And now Torc owns 'Death's Scythe' this worked better than expected. But don't have Death die yet. I want to try something completely stupid.
I want to reason with death
Trumpaladin gives her that look
"Wanna do something before we go?"
Oh, cuz I planned this Xp
I mean I seriously envision Death (Skeltal in a robe) looking down perplexed, looking at Torcuil (holding the scythe now), looking down again, looking back, taking a deep sigh, saying "You're right, my bad,"
"~Hmmmmm.. It'll be rushed, but we won't have very much time later..."
*drags him away for 15-20 minutes*
*Is dragged by pony or horse, I am not sure*
"You can keep your jacket and shoes on. Torcuil's gotta have his spaghetti with Trollestia before we can leave anyways"
*spends 20 minutes with pony*
"Okay listen Mr. Reaper, I actually do not wish to kill you. Nor do I wish for the curse of imortallity. When my time comes I will go.
I instead wish to ask of your aid. My friend is being infected by a parasite. Could you kill this parasite and leave my friend unharmed? My terms are I will give you back your scythe and you cannot kill me today."
*shocked parasite noises*
>>32037>I will give you back your scythe
This is a noble sacrifice.
Come on, Death. He's being generous.
Haha, fuck your planning too>>32039
Honestly, Torc has no use for it.
Plus he still bested death so win-win. Save a friend and claim that he beat death.
It's just an avatar. Not an actual god
>>32040>fuck your planning toofukking kek
GM said it was Death>>32042
Yea post rabbit link this could be bad.
Only fucking you would consider being rid of a parasite bad.
New Torc flow chartWill it fuck up everyones plans?>Yes
Fucking do it>NoIs the creature friendly?>Yes
>>32046>Can't spy on the rabbit cause still on tablet
Whats going on?
nothing yet, rabbit refuses to load.
>>32047>inb4, Death turns out to be a lady wraith, and assumes corphoreal form>Torc gets >raped again in exchange for Death's favor>"See you ~soon, meme-boy." *disappears*>>32048
I considered doing that, but I didn't because I'd prefer not to spoil shit.
>>32051>That spoilered text
>>32051>Torc gets >raped by Death
Boy will Torc have stories from this fucking game
Thats too good. I think it should be so.
I still think it would make more sense if she accepts his offer, rapes him, than before leaving tells him she's not able to do what he asked, but thank you anyways
Does anyone have the non-Stirner version of this (Stirner's a faggot)
Need the original.
Wait>See you ~soon, meme-boi
D-Did Torc become Death's fuck buddy?>>32056
Like why do you expect evil to make agreements in good faith?
death would be neutral Desu
Not yet, but in several she might have him forever.>>32062
Cause I can fucking kill Death right now. Nothing has happened, Torc still has the Scythe and Death in considering the offer.>>32062
And of course this
Death doesn't lie.
Okay. What about after you give the scythe back?>>32062
I can't think of a more obviously evil god than death>>32066
Why? Everyone else does
But Death isn't evil.
Death will eventually come, but it doesn't persue. It waits until you need to be guided to the great beyond.
Death is normal. The world as we know it wouldn't be possible without it.>Everyone else does
If you've ever read a story where someone made a "deal with death", Death always follows the rules to their full extent.
Death is Lawful Neutral.
It's a creature summoned from a tarrot card. Not a character from Harry Potter or whatever
Also, the wraith appeared for the purpose of dueling Torc 1-1, formally. Torc stealing the scythe was as good as beating her, so she has fulfilled her purpose.>>32071
Harry Potter has nothing to do with this
You just mad Torc gets to fuck death and Trump doesn't>>32071
Absolute top fucking kek
My sides were injured in this incident
My sides are currently passing the orbit of neptune
I do not want sex with a skeleton>>32072
Sure, but can it do precision surgery to kill something when it needed to challenge Torcuil to open combat? Wouldn't it need to challenge Jewfernius to open combat to kill the worms first as well?
>>32076>implying death wouldn't be E X T R A T H I C K
Probaly, I mean it is the God of Death
Why do you hate this?
I just managed to find the original, btw.>>32076>can it do precision surgery to kill something
I don't see why not. No point in challenging it now.
Continues having sex with Pony while he waits for everyone else to figure out what the hell is going on
Cause we spent seven hours preparing for a campaign that you want to beat with a tarrot card summoned monster
Oh don't worry, he's just made it more complicated. This ride is far from over.
>>32077>E X T R A T H I C K
Just like when you get all the dowries and marry the Skeleton Princess: she can assume corporeal form (still cold though).>>32080>*Army of dragons appears over the horizon*
But it is intertaining, no?
I mean Torc beat death in combat, and now is probaly gonna fuck her.
Would you comprimise that we have to find Infernius and contrain him for her to kill the worm?
Oh fucking hell, now I'm scared.
We restrain Infernius and she does the surgery, sure. Our other option was just to split the head open
Wait. I know what I want from you
The thing is in his balls. Tracy already tried burning the rest of his body to smithereens, so it must be controlling him from there.
GM, does Death ever fucking respond, or do her and Torc just stare at eachother while Torc falls in love with the sexy skeleton?>>32087
Now I really am scared
Nothing really. Just enjoy your date with your tarrot waifu. And release trumpaladin from his oath to not try to sex Trollestia
Don't get too
spooped, but in exchange for sex, the scythe, and that moon-card (you can have the star), the brain-worm is
kill. You're no closer to Infernius though.
"Hey! The compass is working! Its pointing south!">>32089
"Sure" (sorry, I was implicit, not explicit)
You're not interested in her
>>32092>lose moon card
I am now slightly depressed>keep star
This helps slightly
So now I fuck Death?
This shit is getting really weird.>>32093
And Trump has a fucking wife.
And Torc is intrested, just doesn't know what to do.
"Apparently, the compass is fixed on south.">>32095
A moment of silence, while Torcuil literally puts his many-times stabbed haggis in death its self.
"Then South we go!"
I haven't stuck Slovenia yet, just kissed her>>32096
Well shit, if it's on this plane, Call Fae>>32095
Get Trollestia. Ride her, we're gonna be on this plane at least for now
>>32096Wait, the haggis is his dick?
Oh god, thats not what I thought.>>32098
Torc is... occupied
We may disagree as to which part of his body the "haggis" is.
Torcuil hears a shout from another room
"Ride that Charger. We're on the material plane"
Stop bullying Torc.
I always thought you meant a literal Haggis
That's not bullying. We could use more allies and he needs to ride so he can keep up
i thought it was his asshole.
Haggis = Innards (accessed through his butt)
I thought it was Torc's ass>>32102
Thx for being nice to Torc
The one time I had to be right...
What happens after Torc sticks it in Death?
If we're not going into Hell there isn't much of a reason for you to not ride Trollestia
Apparently I was mistaken, I thought of haggis as a filled tube, so I figured the phallus.
Eyyy, I guess I understand.
But you fucking cunts have ruined haggis for me now
I based it off of this /pol/ screenshot.
It's his butt.>sorry, Overboard
Checked and sorry...
Did you like haggis better when you thought it meant asshole?
absolutely fucking disgusting.
Aww fuck, now I want an irn bru>>32114
Thats what ruined it>>32115
That was more disgusting than I was expecting
Irn Bru is delicious.
Trumpaladin, growing impatient, mounts one of his two possible mounts and rears, waiting for the release to go south
>>32111>thought haggis was acceptable>scottish
You got that fucking right m8>dons kilt
Also see >>32097
Don't ye be fookin dissin haggis you flapping cunt.
I wonder if Vadereim likes haggis.
he strikes me as a Poofta, so probably
Right you are. Thez, with also growing impatience, and upon seeing the direction that the compass indicates, <whooof>
YOU FUCKING WHAT MATE?
You sayin only gays like haggis?
"...Sh-should we go after her?"
*Begins walking through walls*
*rides demon horse*>>32127
"Ride your horse if you want to catch up with us"
"Gawd you guys,...." she says reaching out to and touching the whole party. <whooooof>
I'm not fucking welsh. I don't sex the sheep>>32131
Did Torc ever finish his prior commitment?
You never said...
She'll get him eventually.
Yes. Death is an entirely unintended yet inevitably recurring character now.
I fucking hate and love this at the same time
So where is everyone and what's going on?
>>32139>NEET virgin dies and reincarnates in a magical world where he gets wizard powers and is swimming in pussy
Most cliche anime ever.
>>32141>NEET cave wizard widower*
Yeah its fucking ironic considering I wanted to stay away from that
>Has now been waiting 11 hours and still does not know where we are supposed to be goinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1YmS_VDvMY>>32131
So are we going south towards or past Durpistan on the material plane, teleporting, or going to a different plane?
Falling from 3500 feet
Oh goodie. May as well call in Fae since it appears that we are remaining in this plane
>>32142>I wanted to stay away from that
That makes it even more cliche of a harem anime.
Can Troll fly?
She can cast Air Walk
Sorry I don't watch anime,
I have enough cancer already>>32150>>32149
Torc calls hoers
>>32151>Sorry I don't watch anime
I don't really watch it either, but I know the archytypes.
I don't even know that
I won't watch it until they make a Hitler anime
Yeah? Well I do! Xp
So Thez partially opens her gliding wings. As she leaves everyone in the dust she yells "I'll come back and tell you,...."
The rest of the party is speeding toward the ground
I learned them mostly from a week friend of mine who I studied creative writing theories with. I only ever really watched anime with him, but he taught me quite a bit.
It was during those years that I developed Yandere Calculus as a tragic writing theory.
Where did she take us?
>>32157>I'm not gonna be awake much longer
Also, Torc calls Troll so he doesn't meet Death again this fast
>>32155Alright, I used to watch it quite a bit, and still read manga a lot..
About a mile south of Port Barry>>32161
From md-air? Thez grabbed you, she didn't give anyone a choice.
You did leave blood in the entertron right?>>32158>>32162
Basically to summarize,... not a whole lot has happened. Torcuil, through some amazing ingenuity and some absurd luck (both for and against) has shagged Death and also killed Infernius' brain-worm. Wherever he is, lets hope he's better off for it. At the same time, the party vacillates between speeding toward and falling vertically toward his position, as Thez has a nasty habit of assuming fall-control when she activates her <whooooof>
Please keep discussion on topic. These threads fill up to Bump limit very quickly, and off topic replies just kill them faster
Anime Discussion belongs on /1ntr/. Haggis discussion belongs on /ub/. Further off topic replies will be deleted
Tracy grabs Torc by the scruff to keep him from falling to his death.
Trumpaladin mounts something
Both of them
Also Torcuil should have waited until we had Infernius to prevent it from blowing his cover
Fine, Torc polymorphs into a hawk so he can fly.
Actually, fuck it. Torc no longer needs a mount.>>32165
I thought he was on Tracy's back already?
He should have been at the moment they left, but GM says we're falling, so if Trumpaladin is not on someone's back, he gets on someone's back. Not Torcuil's though
>>32167>blowing his cover
Why would Torcuil, in character, believe he needs cover?
Anyone have the "no fun allowed" pic?>>32172
He's on Tracy's back, she's just not flying or anything yet
Blowing Infernius's cover. He could be in a Jew castle, and him being freed from the mind control worm wouyld just cause them to imprison him
Infernius just has to play dumb and moan like a brain-controlled zombie.
I said she was flying twice.
Discussion about rules or moderator action belongs on the /qa/ board
>>32177>implying that would be different than normal>>32179
It's Infernius. He would flip out and start babbling about Jews or something
Infernius wouldn't even need a Bluff check for it.
Torc cricles down to the ground in hawk form
I see one. I'll assume there's another that I've missed. ._.
So everyone is not falling to their deaths, sue me for hoping to paint that picture.>>32181
"They're right you know,...." XD
>>32184>Infernius even manages to mess up at looking dumb
It's about 1:30am and i can't stay up any longer.
I'll see you guys sometime tomorrow
I'll have Tracy place you in the bag of holding>>32185
"Tracy. Place Torcuil in the bag of holding"
'Night. Woulda had more action but you played your cards well.>>32188
Placed cuz dubs
[Muffled pony noises]>'He'll die.'
>>32191>"does he need air like that? I don't think we could just leave him. Should I tie him to Fae?"
>>32192>'Living creatures can only last for 8 mins in the bag.'
Oh he'll be fine, its not a standard bag.
>>32193>"Fine... If you have any additional rope or chain or duct tape I'll tie him to Fae"
Torcuil being duct taped to Fae sounds funnier though
>>32194>its not a standard bag.
It does actually. Its almost funny enough for me to waive the 'salve of slipperyness' requirement for ordinary use of sovereign glue
Even if it isn't sticky, and it functions like medical bandage cloth it can still be tied around Fae's torso.
*Puts Torcuil away, one way or another and directs Mountfu to continue South*
It'll work fine, just suggesting a situation where it didn't
So yes, everyone is more or less headed toward Infernius' position, somewhere in the south amidst thick woods and other spoopy.
[2d20 = 21]
What's the terrain look like?
Spot and Search checks to scout the area (both +21)
[2d20 = 25]>>32200
Have Fae listen and spot. Rolling for Fae
[1d20+21 = 41]>>32202
Also, Listen check to look for lumbering bull.
>>32203>tfw natural 20
What'd she hear?
It will tale more than one distance flight to find him. Thez has the compass, and she's gonna git the toy
... Did she hear anything nearby though?
Probably Fae muttering about leaving her life to serve a noble paladin, then finding she's replaced by the paladin's serial killer stalker who he started fucking for some reason, and now has to play second fiddle walking through the woods with a comatose guy duct taped to her back
[smug nightmare noises]
>>32189>played your cards well
Figurativly and literily>tfw when you threw off a perfectly good campaign by fucking death
Its not thrown off, it just needs a bit of rewriting,... after the bit of rewriting I had to do cuz the brain-worm appeared in the first place,....
Looking forward to it.
What show was this from? I think I've seen it before.
Never mind. Ir was dengeki oshioki musume gootaman gootaman tanjou hen.
Very funny, Trump's faggot.
Claiming Trumpaladin for Tracy.
Anime dsicussion belongs on the /1ntr/ board.
Asking about an on-topic image isn't anime discussion. Though it is off-topic. Just like this post. Feel free to delete.
>>32225>like he's never done it before
Alright, I've crunched the numbers. It would only take Thez approx 30 minutes to arrive at the apparent destination, and determining that the destination is correct would only take another minute. At Tracy's max speed laden, she will take over an hour. So, after about 45 minutes of travel, Tracy is the first to meet up with Thez, who is on her way back to meet the party. The destination is obvious by this point, a large and jagged-black stone city further to the south.
"He's somewhere in there."
Fae's ground speed with bracers and mount buff is 80. How long would it take her?
She's not carrying anyone is she? If no, it would take her just under 2 hours. Its 80 miles to the destination, and her max speed (full run) is 320 feet/round. Assuming she doesn't rest (which she would have to) that comes out to ~132 minutes. That also assumes she doesn't run into anything
>>32228>At Tracy's max speed
Just for my knowledge, does that include strategic spurring/healing? I realized through reading up on nightmare tactics that the biggest benefit to Tracy's high HP combined with Endurance is being able to gallop at max speed for long distances.>>32230
We duct-taped Torc to her.
I thought Tracy's speed was 100 (flying) and Fae's 80 (ground)
Torcuil is duct-taped to her, though that's still a very light load
This is kind of strange to me. I would never spur Fae because I'll bet she'd be offended at being treated like that, where as it seems Tracy can be physically bullied or even harmed in a number of different ways and never get angry over it
Tracy's base movement speed is 100 + 30 (horseshoes of speed). Max of x3 (cuz shes in armor and has Trump) = 390 ft/round
Total distance is 422400 feet.
Trust me, I crunched the numbers.
I thought she was wearing the zephyr shoes or that other set, and that the horse shoes of speed only improved ground and not flying speed?
Also, you can make a mount go 3x speed?
She requested Horseshoes of Speed for this expedition, though you make a good point about the ground only.
All creatures can move up to 4x (except with armor or a load) their base movement speed, however combat rules and fatigue apply the greater the multiplier. With the Run feat, that increases to 5x
Since I know someone is going to ask, Thez' base speed is 111 (its mathematically 110 but Xp), which through Run feat is a max of 555/round. However, every 4 rounds she can Dimension Door another 3240 feet.
Oh, well fancy that.
Trumpaladin, who ought to still be riding Tracy, takes a look at the city to inspect its features and any movement around it. What does he see?
What kind of load does Trumpaladin count as? A light load for her is 612 pounds, but Idk how much he weighs with that armor.>>32235
The Horseshoes of The Peerless Steed only increase her land speed, but they do make it much
easier for a rider to fight while riding her.
So I can now get Fae up to 240ft and she can outrun a dragon?
Didn't mean to spoiler that.
A load of,... sorry too easy. He's in Full Plate, but Tracy is uber strong, so a light load.>>32239
Is the Dragon walking?
My guess is ~225 pound human with 50 pounds armor plus 30 pounds more armor and gear, 120 pounds (or less) of leather light barding, and 60 poundsish of saddle bags (if it's the biggest bag of holding). Maybe less though>>32241
If she is on the ground, and either way for the dragon
Damn it, these horseshoes are haxxor
"IKR! I love them!"
Can outsiders be made into undead? Does a creature need a dual-nature to be animated?
Typically no, and neither can outsiders be resurrected. When an outsider is killed outside their home plane, they are forcibly returned, and when they die on their home plane they cease to exist.
As far as movement in/around the city, there is plenty. Differing shapes and sizes can be seen from distance, some very clearly not humanoid. The city appears quite active.
"Think we should approach the front gate?"
[1d20+21 = 25]>>32248>Nightmare Sense: Activate!
Tracy gets a better look at the creatures with a Spot Check>>32249>'Well, that'd be the polite way to do it.. but I'd prefer to be a bit more discrete.'
*Engages stealth-flyer mode, until plan is made*
>>32250>"I'm getting the impression that this is a trading city, and I say that based upon the diversity of the inhabitants. If a guy wearing a business suit (hat of disguise) came through on a large walking, non-flaming, non-smoking horse, people would think he's important, but no one would suspect as much as we are actually hiding, and we could observe the city freely and ask people questions about what is going on.>"If you don't like that, the way I see it, we only have three real options>1. I dismount and the party rogue does her thing while I wait for Fae or walk through the front gate myself>2. We go ethereal and walk through the city in the Ethereal Plane>3. We go through the front gate, preferably with the paladin looking like a businessman and the cauchemar looking like a large horse"
>>32251>'I want to investigate from a distance beforedeciding how to go in.'
>>32252>"Sure, but I don't think we'll gain much information until we get closer"
Trumpaladin uses his Hat of Disguise to assume the (relatively) innocuous form of a Joke Presidential Candidate
[1d20+21 = 40]>>32253
Wait for the check to go through.
For that matter add a Search check, to observe from above.
... Was he already wearing the hat?
Don't fly above the city, you'll be visible like a UFO
He didn't take it off
>>32255>"Put your hooves on the ground, stop flaming, and stop smoking. If anyone lays their eyes on you, they should see a dark blue draft horse with leather armor. What they should not see or think is "oh look a cauchemar, we need to think about how to kill that." Let us keep that secret until we decide when we want to reveal it"
She's not directly above the city, and she's got enough stealth ranks in this form to conceal herself, especially with the shadow armor.
*veers off to the side for stealthiness*
Conceal herself in midair? It wouldn't hurt to combine stealth ranks with an innocuous form. What's the harm?
Its kind of hard to hide in the middle of the air. Also, I'm pretty sure I omitted the shadow armor
Okay. She veers off and lands then.
Did she see anything worth noting with those checks though?
[1d20 = 17]>>32262
Trumpaladin searches city for features that are unusual or define its character
>>32264>rerolling the Search
There were woods surrounding the city, right? Did the area they landed in they provide sufficient cover?
The creatures are all armed, and not uniformly. Their weapons are of different make and origin, and in some cases are improvised.>>32264
The whole place is unusual. The walls are jagged stone like obsidian, there's no sensible layout, just clusters of areas connected by doors and walkways. It wasn't designed for any civic function that he's ever seen.
[1d20 = 7]>>32266
Spot check on the creatures. I know you said some humanoid and some not, but are any approximate forms or species discernible?
[1d20+21 = 22]>>32266
Any guards or watch towers?
What's the seemingly-clearest route for infiltration?
Search Check, to look for a way in.
>>32268>"I still think we have the same three options as before, although it looks like the creatures are more likely to be hostile. But it's a diverse group - they could be gathering for a game, for some larger threat - who knows? We'd need to talk to someone to find out. If I dismount and you assume pony form you could bluff your way in. If I stay on you we could walk right up to some one and ask him a question, and if he attacks you could bite his throat out or jaunt to safety. And of course, we can go ethereal into a building, although I think if or when we come out they will be much more likely to interpret us as hostile than if we went in properly"
Its mostly monsters, and of them most are oversized humanoids (giants, ettins, orgres, etc.). The human-sized humanoids don't seem the slightest bit bothered by their presence, and vice versa.
Wait. I think I know what is going on
Whispers to Tracy
"Bet each one of them has a brain worm"
[1d20+21 = 31]>>32271
Any sign of Infernius, or other Minotaurs?
[1d20 = 14]>>32271
Spot check for what the monsters are doing - what is their activity?
[1d20+19 = 31]>>32275
Better off with a Sense Motive check for that one.
In fact, that's what I'll do.
[1d20 = 10]>>32276
I think we are too far way, but fuck it. Sense Motive
No sign of either.>>32275
Occasional pockets of conversation occur, and a few scraps break out, but they appear in standby of a sorts. Mostly they are just keeping an eye on the city and one another. At the center of the city is a oddly shaped mound with sheer sides. Aside from what amount to shacks, it is the only apparent building.
I'm guessing we've stumbled upon something like an early English Hillfort?
>>32276>Mountfu has very nearly as many buffs for sense motive as you because of Haxxor, even though you had to allot many of your few skill points to itreeeeeee
Something like that, yeah.
Spot check again. What's the biggest, baddest creature and how well armed? How many creatures?
[1d20+21 = 24]>>32280
Can Tracy roll Spot again, to determine how the city is being guarded, before approaching?
Uhm, well there's a Truly Horrid Umber Hulk, there's a bunch of derpy-looking and non derpy-looking ogres, oh hey there is
a minotaur (not Infernius), there's a weird gray-skinned giant thing with 6 eyes across its forehead, there' a gorilla with 4 arms,... its almost like the GM went flipping through the Monsters Manual and just started picking things to add to the list. Oh, there's plenty of smaller monsters too (orcs and such).>>32285
More or less, everyone is watching and the humanoids have a fair amount of ranged weapons on/about their equipment.
Thez <whoooof> appears next to both. "The walls are enchanted, or magical, or something. I can't phase through them at all, and without seeing inside the place I can't risk teleporting in."
>>32286>everyone is watching
Well fug.. Idk how to roll stealth for that..
The crowd sounds tasty though.
[1d20+21 = 30]
Are there any rivers near? What's supplying the city with water? (they might have a sewer)
Search check to look for plausible alternative entrances.
NO! These things are probably infected with the mind control worms. In nature, the vast majority of parasites that alter a host's behavior do so in order to make the host more likely to be preyed upon, and transferred to the actual definitive host. For all we know, infernius was infected when he ate the troll hearts. I'm not going through all this same bullshit again just because Tracy wants to be le edgy. If she's hungry, eat gruel from Torcuil's sticks. Or a steak later
Torc wakes up, finding himself duct taped to someone
"What the bloddy hell?"
"It was either this, or the bag."
I am not sure, but I think you're 30 minutes out
I'm assuming Tor is aasically laying on Tracy's back, and the duck tape is wrapped around.
"Oh yay, I'm taped to you. Hi stabby-hoers, can you let me down?"
No. He's taped to Fae.
This, and she's running, so its uncomfortable.
Oh fuck, thats worse
"Uh, could you guys get me down?"
Only if she's caught up with us. You were an hour away, so I do not know
It'll be a bit before you meet up with Trump and Tracy. Might was well try and get comfortable. Nah, you can be there already, it doesn't change much.
"So then, what's the plan?"
"Oh thank Kek, Hi Tracy and Trump. Would you mind getting me off this...
"Her Name is Fae, and she's a dragonne"
*Cuts Torcuil down, and lets him fall, with duct tape still clinging to him*
Torc picks himself up, brushing off.
"Sorry I don't remember everything. Whats the plan?"
"I still want to talk our way in. Maybe think of a clever lie or something"
[6d20 = 92]>>32301
Thez shrugs. "I doubt we're going to get in undetected. That middle,... mound-thing looks to be the center of the place, but there's so many doors that there's no way of knowing which will lead to Infernius, especially if the inside is as chaotic as the outside." She <whooooof> disappears and reappears about 100' over the mound. Shouts immediately react, and several of the humanoids fire arrows.
"Wait, where are we? Last I remeber I was a hawk.">>32306
Thez <whoooof> appears next to the others and shrugs. "Well, it looks like we've already been spotted, and I don't think they're going to let us in the front door exactly."
In a forest outside the fort>>32309
"Wish I had our armies"
[confused pony noises]
"So, how long until they come storming out?"
*kicks soil, preparing for a charge*
I hope an arrow lands near Torc.
If it does, he inspects it
"Well this will be fun"
"Kill 'em all seems to be our only option. Recommend having a rider make themselves visible outside the gate, prompt some of the guards to give chase and leave the gate, kill those, then burst through the open gate"
The city thing we are outside of
"And Tracy, don't eat any of these creatures. I'll bet you every single one of them has a worm. You might get a worm doing that. Whatever you think you stand to gain is not worth the risk"
Back read, and specifically read GM's posts
What if we wait until they've opened the gate, make arun check while ethereal to charge right through them, then go through the gate while it's open?
"Not necessarily. I saw a few places on the mound we could land. In fact, while I can't go through the walls, I can get us up there without much of a fuss.">>32312
The fort ~80 mi south of Port Barry, where Infernius seems to run off to.>>32311
"They don't seem to be gearing up for a charge.">>32310
"It could take a week or more to gather and move that many men, plus the logistics of supplies are a nightmare."
Torc could fireball the gate
I think they have a barrier, but see Thez's plan>>32319
Okay, land the four of us on the mound
Imma' taking parts home anyway. Living creatures can't stay in the bag, so any bugs should suffocate.
Or, we could try to bait them into charging at us, then charge through the open gate
If you start this cycle of shit all over again because you are being reckless and allow a worm to live that should have been burned - like you did with the tarasque - I am killing your character
Or teleport right in front of the gate while it's open.
Let's go with Thez's plan though.
>>32319>Torc turns into an unladien swallow>flys into the fortress>kills gaurds>lowers gates
Thez is thinking
Thez's plan. Get all four of us in there
He could be killed pretty easily.
You guys are no fun at all.
Torc can handle himself.
I mean, he did beat death.
"There's only 4 of us, and that's a small army. I mean, we could probably waste 'em all, but not without injury or depleting resources (spells, etc.).">>32332
With a benis
"Plus, there's no way of knowing what we'll find once we get inside."
An ogre is a hell of a lot stronger without a weapon than a tarrot card monster>Don't Fear the Reaper started playing on laptop as I made this post
Are we going into the mound, or are we going through the front gate?
[frisky nightmare noises]
*kicks the earth and snorts*
"Well, what are we waiting for?"
A win is a win in my book>>32335
Ogre is not stronger than death>>32336
Torc could tak out the gate with a fireball
You disarmed the tarrot card avatar creature with a magneto rod. Not a melee attack like an ogre>>32337
Don't tempt me, but this
"Tracy, charge the biggest, baddest thing you find, and kill it. Get me closer. I want to hit it with my sword">>32334
"Fae, charge smaller creatures and rip them to pieces. Be careful if you bite though, since these creatures may be infected with parasites"
Fae should have 17 HD and an attack of +18, by the way
How about you fire ball the gate, and then we go to the mound directly?
Fireball the gate, charge it, then poof to the mound directly. Confuse them
Also, I can't find out what kind of creature a Dax is, or its abilities.
[1d20 = 20]>>32339
It wasn't an avatar, GM said it was death>>32340>>32341
Torc casts a fire ball from the staff of ultimate power
Roll for what ever may be needed
Ever seen the Rainbow Dash Presents episode "Haunting Nightmare"? In it, Twilight is infected with a mind control parasite - like an ant or snail - that makes her evil and intends to get her eaten by a celestial being so it can complete its life cycle. Something like that.
All you need to know is kill the host and burn the body
>>32345>inb4 the whole wall explodes
"Well, if we jump to the roof, that will bypass the mass, but there'd be nothing preventing them from coming after us inside. Depending on the terrain, that could be advantageous, or disadvantageous. If we face them outside though, they can fight us from close and long range.">>32342
Its Game OC>>32340
"Hmmmm. A feint could be quite effective,....>>32343
"... oh shit, we're going then."
Alright then. I'll give up on trying to research its abilities.
"Torcuil! Stay here and fight from range! Tracy Fae and I will go to the Roof!"
Wait and see what happens with the fireball first.
>>32346Burning them shouldn't be a problem>>32348
So what does the fireball do now?
It burns down the gate and makes them think we are going through the front gate. We have our diversion
Unfortunately, fireball is an incendiary explosion rather than a concussive one. So, while the wall is charred (but otherwise undamaged) several onlookers at that position on the wall are visibly on fire.
Thez times it so that the group teleports right at the moment of the explosion, leaving behind a group of stationary illusions that appear like crude replicas of the party.
>>32353For the last time, you are not GM>>32354
Kek, people got burned. I figured the wall would be fine, but the people was a bonus.
So where is Torc after teleporting?
What does the new location look like?
I'll just take their hands and anything else that looks interesting then. Claws, teeth, horns, eye-lenses, skins, scales... etc. Places where worms couldn't hide.
Pick one of the 3 start locations. Also, disregard the letters and numbers.
Is "Boss" Where it says it is?
Also, I just want to kill/destroy everything.
I'll let Tracy pick. Does this mean I am separated from Fae?
We can do that. Just get me closer
I fucking saw that Trump
Also, I gtg in about 40 minutes
I just want to be in the same location as Fae and riding Tracy>>32359>"Tracy, do you mind jumping through a few walls as I play Marco Polo with Fae? It would really hurt me if I lost her on a mission, so let's meet up, then let's kill everything">>32362
I wan't to take the long way and go on a ruinous, unnecessarily evil rampage, killing everything I can and taking extra time to plunder and whatnot.
Green, because that's my favorite color.
Don't forget to loot as you go by. Actually, Fae is probably strong enough to fight back whatever is in front of her if she's not too aggressive
Fae can't Cleave, can she? What if she's outnumbered?
No, that's just existing icons from the map I'm using.>>32360
No, everyone is together>>32363
The walls do not permit jumping through.>>32365
So am I hearing splitting up? That can be arranged.
Fuck off with your warnings and shite
I want to be with Tracy and Fae. Torcuil is soft enough he really ought to be with Fae or Tracepaladin
"Relax. Now that we're under the visible area of the mound, we can fly to whichever door we choose. Unfortunately, thats alot of doors."
It's harmless fuckery. Essentially shit posting. Don't take it personally
So we're underground then? Is it well lit enough for humans or do I need to cast daylight?
Did Trump send you a warning too?>>32372
"So, I'll just follow the crowd">>32373>leaf
GET THE RAKES
Damn it another one?
When does the blood-orgy start?>>32373
It's pretty annoying, desu.>nice
OH, HAHA, SO FUNNY!
No, but the mound is elevated from the rest of the city, causing the players to be out of sight, and assuming they don't fly too high so as to avoid being seen, they can pretty much move to whatever place they wish to start from.
It was a nice note>>32375
Not until after he said that
Blue, like my flag>>32379
YER A FOOKIN LEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFF
Tracy's Faggot said Green. But if we want to take the approach he wants, red makes more sense>>32380
Recommending staying together>>32376
Beware of traps in the halls. In fact, we may need a rogue in the party to locate them
The starting point only determines which doors are available from on foot.
It doesn't matter what door it is to me, let's go already.
I'll let Tracy and Torcuil decide where they want to start, but I want to be with Tracy and Fae, and recommend Torcuil stays together as well>>32383
Do you think we may face a booby trapped hallway rather than hordes of weak enemies? If so, it may be wise to dismount Tracy and let her do roguish things like trap spotting
>>32384>Do you think we may face a booby trapped hallway rather than hordes of weak enemies?
I hope both.
I guess the real question is, do you you think we should proceed into the hallway with Trumpaladin riding Tracy?
Also, no dismount. She has higher rank in Search in this form than she does from her class ranks.
Dismount when see fit.
Thez thinks sticking together is the best plan.>>32386
The doors are not big enough to accommodate Trump riding Tracy.
I'm just waiting for something intresting
Can Thez direct us with her compass?
Okay then. Just go through as normal.
Dismounts Horsey. Brings Fae inside though
"Not with any certainty. The compass points toward the left side of the building, but there's no way of being sure that the corridors don't wind back and forth. Fuck it, let's just pick a door."
Someone give me a color and a #, cuz this is a bit of a labyrinth
Vote blue to tip scales, because I'm itching to start.
And now I see there is no blue 7I'll be gone soon so don't expect Torc to be much help
Blue 7 isn't shown on the map
Prepare a few memes for him to cast as an NPC.
Fug it then
Uh,>Man's not hot
Fire resistance>Youtube rewind
Target is forced to watch the youtube rewind.
And he'll use his staff of ultimate power>>32403
I don't fucking care
>>32404>I don't fucking care
Let's go already.
Behind that door is a decent sized corridor leading to another door. Aside from a pair of Velociraptors, the room is empty.
[3d20 = 21]>>32406
I always wanted my own velociraptor..
It can't be avoided...
Charge one and attack with Cane-sword.
If the Great Cleave succeeds, finish the other.
Do you even have that spell?>>32410
It's too late to declare that as a ride-by attack, is it?
Yes (through homebrew), and you're not able to do ride by's like that
Which page did you reference for that material?
[6d20 = 56]>>32413
You do? Was that that weird feat or devotion or w/e?>>32410
Just nevermind. It would fail because Tracy attacked them, so no point in trying
Tracy/Raptors go first, then Trump/Fae, then Thez, and Torc last.
Did that first hit cleave?
For perspective, you've got the animated demon hands. Are those holding the swords, cuz otherwise I don't see how you could perform a ride-by attack.
I figured she was in warhorse form, using her maw.
Ride by attack is mounted combat. Which is definitely not what Tracy is doing
Heavens no, cleave only occurs when you kill one opponent, you get an automatic attack against another opponent if they're in range. Its possible to do so in three strikes, what's Tracy's Base atk?
What, when you said animated, did you mean not attached to her body? Are they floating there or something?
... yeah, isn't that what you wanted them for?
Well, what I was describing (or trying to) were gauntlets with animated finger-claws, that she could wear over her hooves as if she had hands, so then she could use decides that she couldn't normally use.
You know what, that's fine too.
Just have pony Tracy wield sword from hooves and avoid all of this weird and complicated bullshit
>already confused as fuck
So, do you not
want them flying around and grabbing things as though she had arms?>>32427
I did this specifically to avoid awkward questions of how she can be in a full run while holding swords
Oh no, by all means let them fly around.
Can I attack with them too?
Pony Tracy can charge and has charged bipedal in the earliest games. Please let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be>>32430
You get three attacks in a round
It's exactly the same thing as Tracy killing zombies in the very first session, except wielding a sword instead of two knives. Now let's move on
[1d20 = 8]>>32406
Torc fucks the raptorsGM please don't take my shitpost seriously
>>32431>three attacks in a round
With the sword, you mean?>>32432In the 1st session, Tracy also made five zombies explode just by looking at them.
I've put up with your haxxor bullshit enough. Even Thez - fucking Thez - only has six attacks because of a Monk's "flurry of attacks" option which requires her to sacrifice armour and attack bonuses. I have patiently played this game with a difficult class to play - Paladin - and only have the melee bonuses I have because this class gives so few other advantages, like your rogue's skill set or a cleric's spells.
Please play by the damn rules and accept 3 attacks per round from whatever means of attack you choose
I only made 3 attacks.
That's what's allowed, right?
[1d8+3 = 14]>>32430
I had assumed that was the idea.>>32431
Trust me, this is
the less complicated version. There are alot
of incidents where I just went with it rather than ask difficult questions that would have hindered gameplay. These eliminate those questions/incidents/issues.>3 attacks
This is true, regardless of how Tracy chooses to attack.>>32432
Knives I can see, basket hilted dueling swords, not so much.>>32433
Don't tempt me
So what I am seeing is that Tracy attempted a ride-by attack as the Raptors approached the party, and since Tracy is the leading party member (in position cuz she moves first) they would naturally gang up on her. The first strike lands, the second and third do not.>>32435>6 attacks
Uhm,... sure we'll go with that.>>32434
Should I point out that I've been gradually applying further rules as the game progresses, and that zombies are 1hd creatures, so its no biggie to give extra attacks?
[1d8 = 5]
That didn't work right
[2d20 = 26]
The Raptors take up position on Tracy's sides (flaking) and attack with talons
I still don't like warhorse form, I have never been comfortable with it
Fae is ordered to charge and attack the raptors with her Pounce feat.
Trumpaladin quick draws Vanderiem and draws the Bees. He makes a full round attack if possible, and charges if not
[4d20 = 31]>>32443
Dice roll for Trumpaladin's attack, if a full round attack is possible, and disregard if not
>mfw I forgot to use my haxx chain to attack from a distance
[2d8+5 = 11]>>32441
One of them hits, the other one doesn't defeat Tracy's armor/dex bonuses.
[4d20 = 50]>>32443
Dice roll for Fae, if she gets a full round, although I am not sure. Her attack bonus would be +18>>32438
An Equestrian earthpony wielding a sword with dexterous hooves makes more sense than a horse not breaking every single one of its teeth or giving itself CTE wielding a sword from its maw
Should only be three rolls, not four
Dragonne has claw, claw, and Bite
Makes more sense than "Jew powers let me become large AND put a sword in my mouth WITHOUT breaking all of my teeth when they hit a solid surface OR Dazing me when my head comes to an instant stop and my brain is thrashed about in my skull"
[3d10+33 = 53]>>32444
You can, but they're positioned so that in order to attack one of them, you'll be unable to cleave the other. All 3 attacks hit.
She used a knife with her mouth at the beginning too.
Earth ponies have strong jaws
Pls attack the one that hit her.
Politely request that Fae target the other raptorlevel 16 paladins get a fourth attack at that level with a +1 bonus...
[3d20 = 50]>>32454
Fae complies, full attack
I don't think that's the same, because she was targeting soft, fleshy targets. Hit a sword against steel, or miss and hit rock, you stand a pretty good chance of damaging the sword
, and definitely a good chance of breaking teeth or a brain injury if it's held in the mouth>>32455
Huzzah! A 20!
[2d4+2 = 9]
[2d6+4 = 13]
Okay, upon landing on the Raptor, Fae bites a chunk out of its face while her claws dig deeply through its hide.
[3d20 = 35]
Okay, the one Fae just mauled is kinda messed up. The other one is listing to the port side.
Thez darts over to Fae's, full-round attack
[1d20 = 5]
As the third hit lands (2 might have been sufficient, but was being thorough) Thez <whoooof> appears at the other one, continuing her attacks.
The first of which finishes off the Raptor.
Both Raptors are dead, and Torcuil didn't get a chance to attack.
[wounded, embarrassed pony noises]
"Okay.. I'll think first next time..."
How badly is she bleeding?
Recommend rogue pony check for traps before proceeding through door
Bah, that's nothing, barely double digits.
Beyond the raptor corpses (ha! good lluck carting THOSE around!) is another door.
[1d20+4 = 13]>>32464>>32465
Tracy cuts off the hands and feet of the raptors and places them in her bag.
Search Check for Traps
[1d20+5 = 22]>>32467
Listen check to detect creatures around corner
Trumpaladin and Fae, carrying Torcuil around like a cardboard cut out, proceed towards the door>>32468
It's a corridor with a door at the end. There is no corner
*presses ear to door to listen for what's behind*
The room you're in is stone and weird-glassy stuff, but the sounds from the next room sound like a small-build humanoid walking on a metal surface.
Trumpaladin uses detect evil while standing by the door. Look for strength of aura and number. I guess location as well
Just one, some distance to the right from the door. Aura strength is moderate
Is it locked? If not, open just a crack and peer through.
[1d20 = 14]>>32474
Nope, its unlocked.
*braces for engagement*
Peeking through the door, the next room is framed and lined with metal, a very deliberate and rectangular room. Several strange machines line the wall along the path which proceeds to the right. The sound of footsteps approach.
[1d20 = 17]>>32478
Trumpaladin studies the wall. What does it look like?
I mean the machines, if a description can be given
[1d20+5 = 9]>>32478
*releases chain from bag and prepares to attack approaching creature*
Spot check to see what's coming
Readies full round attack for when Creature comes by
Its hard to make much out from the door, but they appear to be large glass cylinders, full of fluid and containing some sort of immobile creature.>>32481
The footsteps are much closer, but no shadows are cast from the ambient light sources.
>>32481>"Expect undead. What do?"
[1d20+5 = 20]>"Something's coming" She says, readying her fiery chain to engage, and drawing kunai
Listen check to determine how many creatures.>>32484>'You're the Paladin; turn them when you see them.'
How many times can the Everwhirling chain attack per turn?
The creature steps fully into view. Its a very gaunt and hard-featured elf with very pale skin. It looks at the machine closest to the door, makes a few scribbles on a clipboard, and then wanders back the way it came.
Tracy makes an almost disappointed sigh of relief
".... That was weird...."
*steals everything that isn't nailed down*
Trumpaladin uses Hat of disguise to turn into a business man>>32487>"Wanna pull a bluff?"
Please be more specific. Are you entering the room?
Wait until the elf is actually gone
They're not inside already?>>32490
I thought you were doing a Scooby-Doo, peeking through the door like a totem
>>32491No stealing shit until we know what is going on>"Want to pose as a businessman and mare inspecting the units, so we can ask questions about them from the elf?"
Does he show any signs of leaving?
>>32493>'I don't think that's going to work...'
Are you guys whispering this?
>>32495>"Ye of little faith. If it doesn't, you can kill him with your claws. But you're a rogue. You can do this"
It's the empathetic link
Thez, not knowing what you two are discussing whispers "I say we interrogate him, find out if he knows where I'nis is."
[1d20 = 4]>>32500
Fuck it then. Opens door, uses Rope of Entanglement
Oh bloody hell.
I g2g for possibly an hour
I am so sorry...
[1d20 = 13]>>32502
Don't sweat it
Fae is ordered to Grapple
The elf-guy is caught sufficiently by surprise that he is caught sufficiently by the rope, which winds its self around him. Thez <whooof> gags his mouth and he collapses in a heap, while Fae provides support.
"He's unusually strong for his size," Fae comments.
Finishes tying him down, while Fae provides any needed muscle.
With the elf subdued, Trump can get a better look at the place. Its essentially a corridor, made of metal like seen before. On either side of the corridor are placed the same sorts of cylindrical devices, which he can see have organsms (mostly human/humanoid) that are suspended motionless in liquid. As the hallway progresses further, larger and larger tanks hold increasingly sized creatures, including - at the end of the hallway and adjacent to a stairwell, a cloud giant in the largest.
The tanks have lines and tubes running from the base to the mouths and along the creature's body. Its very mad-scientisty.
It's established that the largest creature is a Cloud giant. What about the remainder of the creatures? Are they essentially the same as the creatures seen at the walls?
No, the creatures at the walls were more bestial and feral, these seem to be more fair and gentle specimens.
[1d20 = 10]
Thez moves to the end of the hall, then to the top of the stairs, and listens for noise.
Again, take everything that isn't nailed down.
[1d20+5 = 12]>>32511
Tracy listens too, while stuffing her bag.
The only thing not nailed down is the elf-guy's clipboard.
Beyond the door, several individuals are engaged in conversation. Its impossible to make out what they're saying.
Don't. It would take forever, you could expose a steam line, and the creatures in the tubes or liquids going in and out could be very dangerous.
You got your loot from the Hax item creation. Be satisfied with it and don't risk fucking over the whole party
You can take his clipboard
Trumpaladin signals for Thez to come closer to talk to him
Take all the levers and buttons off of the machines, to effectively sabotage them.
"There's more beyond the door. They seem somewhat occupied, but if we're going to interrogate this guy we should take him back outside.">>32518
And then Tracy does this.
That would take a while, and we're probably going to blow up the facility, but whatever. I though you might want to interrogate a guy>>32519
"That's exactly what I was going to recommend. Let's go do it"
Please describe briefly the process of sabotaging the machines. The buttons are attached, and there's no levers to be removed. It IS susceptible to breaks at several points (along tubes, glass, circuitry, etc.).
"Or at least to where the dinos were, loud noises shouldn't be that out of the ordinary from that room."
Sabatoge sounds loud. Let's wait until we've cleared out the next room>>32522
"Yes, let's do that, and close the door"
Why don't we wait on the other side of the door and just stab them as they come through?>>32521
Nevermind that, I was mostly shitposting, but she wouldn't do something like that if she was in a hurry.
Snip-snip any visible wires, to cause problems for the next guy coming.
K, there are some exposed wires that can be cut. So while Tracy is doing that, Thez, Trump, Fae, and Torcuil haul elf-guy into the next room. He's definitely not casting a shadow, it wasn't just a trick of the light.
That's how I wanted to do this guy. But I think Tracy's evil alignment/lack of code/intimidation makes her helpful in interrogating this half-elf.
Alright, Trumpaladin removes the gag, and starts
"Sorry to startle and inconvenience you. We just want to ask a few questions"
Tracy follows the group and waits by the door, preparing to ambush the first guy who walks through.>>32526Paladins are responsible for all of the actions if their cohorts, but we diverge.
As you remove the gag, the elf hisses at you at length. "You aren't part of the Court, release me!"
>>32528Yeah, I know he's not really permitted to be around her at all, and there is a reason I had him try to kill her a few times. Just go with this fiction>>32529
Pulls out Kefka's head from the bag, and displays it to the Elf
"I am above the Court"
[1d20 = 8]>>32529
Intimidation roll, because why not?
This is why your character should be there
>>32530Killing cohorts is also considered an evil act, but whatever...
A vampire, from up close the smell of death is unmistakable. "Tracy, the round bottle," Thez says.>>32531
The vampire seems unimpressed. "I don't know how you got in, but you'll make a fine addition to the gallery," he says with a sinister grin.
>>32533Really? I was going to ask earlier if it was against Paladin code to deliberately wait for a small pregnant woman to make the first move into an area of danger, and if it mattered that he was engaged to her and that was his unborn childI'm not a very good Paladin...
*cuts vampy's feet off*
He hisses as you cut his feet off.
One of these days, you'll have to start asking questions BEFORE torturing captives,....
>>32535Idk if it's explicitly against code,
but letting your pregnant waifu do the dirty work isn'rt exactly exemplary behavior...We forgive you though.
I just wanted to cut off his feet...
They need to know you are willing to hurt them though. The only serious issue here is that would cause any living creature to bleed to death in a couple minutes>>32538D'aww*Internet hugs pony's faggot*Wait... You're just saying that because you want me to join the dark side
"Oh, so you have a gallery?"
Thez takes the bottle and opens it, pointing the top toward the vampire. The bottle dribbles slightly, but does not empty.
As Tracy finishes cutting through the vampire's feet it struggles against the ropes. "You've made a grave mistake that you shall spend a lifetime in oblvion for!"
V> Gaseous form
The vampire fades into a thick greenish cloud, no longer held in place by ropes (or physical form for that matter).
A huge gout of water like a fire hydrant envelops the now gaseous vampire, splashing him to the ground over against a wall. The greenish puddle wriggles a bit, but the gaseous vampire seems unable to escape from the water. A few moments later, the vampire reforms into a physical body (now neked). He's hissing like mad now.
Thez looks looks at everyone. "Not my first vampire."
[1d20 = 9]>>32543
Rope of Entanglement!
"These will make a fine edition to my
Damn It Tracy the new form could be an ordinary life form! That could cause it to bleed to death or die of shock!
"Tracy, I get that you are le ebin ebil or whatever, but please, be smart
about it. Think about the consequences your actions could have before doing them"
Success. He's now bundled in the corner, with no feet (and soon no hands), neked, soaking wet, and really pissed off.
"I recommend Cure Light Wounds if you want to squeeze info out of him,... restorative spells - especially from a holy spellcaster - are particularly 'motivating' for undead."
"He was rude to me, and I wanted his hands."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqAkq8v6LuQ
*guards door, waiting to sneak-attack any faggot that comes through*
>>32540>Dirty workI mean, I fully intended to try to take the kills and do the most damage, I just mean she is the one who gets hit by the opponent's attack round>>32550
"Next time, make sure it won't bleed to death first">>32549
Paladin's Lay of Hands on Vampelf!
Meant to link to >>32538
>>32552That doesn't sound very heroic...
More hissing, writing, and angry-vamp-elf-face "WHHAT! What do you WANT!?"
*draws penis on his face*
That reminds me. Did Torcuil ever wash off the writing Thez did on his face? Way back when he was in a coma? I don't think he ever did. Torcuil has a penis on his face, along with ridiculous anime-eyes.
"We just want to know who you are, what is going on here, what gallery you are talking about, what the court has to do with this... Actually, we want to know pretty much everything that is going on here">>32554That's why I had to stop and think about doing it first>>32556
laughs at pony's silliness
"Where's our bull? The red one." Tracy asks, not bothering to consider that he probably doesn't know shit
*carves crucifix into one arm, and football into the other*
*slices swastika into forehead*
Like, he has the whole time. Adjusting brain-canon>>32558
"I work here, this is the resource wing. The gallery, well thats what those machines are in the next room. This is the Court City, the whole operation is at the behest of the court!">>32560
At this he looks at you confused. "This is a joke right?" He glances back the way you first came in.
*goes back to waiting by door, remembering her ambushing duty*
Trumpaladin picks up pony, and puts her in his lap as he stares down the elf vampire, petting her like a Jame's Bond Villain's cat
Grapple check on Pony>>32562
"This is the court city? This? I thought that was North of Port Barry?"
[1d20 = 11]>>32564>>32563
Grapple roll for pony
"Where do you keep the weapons around here?">>32564
"It is,... was,... it was north back when GM was still being a faggot and going "hurr, north is down" but then later said "Fug it, can we just have south be down?" he replies in an out-of-character, almost apologetic tone.>>32566
There's a longsword and some armor among the pile of clothes.
"Keep? Only a fool would leave their weapons out of reach."
*takes elf's clothes*
*cuts his dick off, because why not?*
Trumpaladin shrugs, in such a way the pony could leave to go get the weapons without his arms getting in the way
"So what is the operation you are working here, at the behest of the Court?"
Now you see why Trumpaladin is so afraid of Tracy
Its a damn good thing vampires have fast healing. Sheesh.>>32569
"I run the machines. The machines extract blood from subjects. This is the main facility of the vampire (faction) blood harvesting operation."
Oh, btw, how many hit dice does this guy have?
"What kind of blood?"
>>32572GM shitpost: all that information could have been obtained by looking at the clipboard
"Is the court mostly vampires? Where are the subjects taken from?">>32573
Grabs pony ears in a way to be painful to the pony
"Do not poison the child"
Did his dick grow back yet?
"It's not poison."
*reads sheet, to tell if it's actually poison.*
"I want my child to be born healthy, be able to live a normal life, have no deformations or mutations, and be able to be accepted by his peers. If you want to mutate yourself into... I have no idea what, you can leave me after the child is born and do whatever to your body"
I said fast healing, not fast regeneration. The wounds close, not regrow.
The clipboard contains a very neat and itemized chart indicating approximately 17 different creatures including the Cloud giant, litres of blood per hour, notes, etc. The heading indicates "Court City Blood Harvest Audit"
"The specimens are taken from wherever they can be found without disrupting the established hierarchies. I'm not much in the loop on that."
Thez gets pissed and places her heel inside his jaw. "The bull, you never answered the question about the bull."
Thez removes her heel.
"He was taken that way (back the way the party originally came) and further into the structure."
What he means is, choosing door Red 7 was good, but Red 8 would have been better
Unfortunately, an alarm starts blaring from the Gallery room.
"I'm not looking for any mutations, just supplements. It's got everything the body needs. Just ask pasty over there." she says, gesturing towards the bleeding, butt-naked vampire.
[4d20 = 36]>The Elf is listening to us fight>>32582
Kills Elf Thing with slashes to the throat and head
[1d20+5 = 13]>>32582
Listen Check to determine what's coming and which direction to move.
*takes jaw-bones from mutilated vampire head*
Trumpaladin gives a look like he's clearly uncomfortable with this and is also unconvinced, but figures if he can prevent his child from looking like a Chernobyl birth because of the mother's carelessness, he'll be fine
"Be careful for AIDS"
"I'm sure they were very careful to make sure their crops didn't have AIDS."
"Thats true, blood is the most nutritious natural fluid.">Alarm
As Trump slices it, it again assumes gaseous form, which Thez again douses with water.
"We don't have time to kill it, damn things are like cockroaches.">>32585
There's people in the Gallery room, one of them is approaching the door to the dino room, agitatedly saying "That motherfucker better not have gone to sleep again."
*waits at door to stab anything coming through*>>32589
*takes his lower jawbone*
Trumpaladin goes to the door onto its side, and readies an attack on whatever comes through as it comes through. Fae is ordered to do the same on the other side
Scratch that second action, just get ready to sneak attack the goy who goes through the door.
Draw Assassin's dagger and sword, whilst setting auto-chain loose
He doesn't become physical again. No jawbone for you.>>32592
A familiar faced, but this time much paler fellow kicks the door open, yelling "God dammit John, where the fuck did you run off to?!" Since she hadn't really thought about it, Thez is just sorta standing there in the open. This serves its purpose of distracting the new entry though, and as Trump and Tracy let him have it Thez says "Hi Barry!"
[1d20 = 1]
Tracy is the one who actually GETS sneak attacks, so she goes first.
[4d20 = 37]>>32593
Full Round attack with Vanderiem
[1d20 = 3]>>32593>Barry
Sneak Attack with Asassin's Dagger: Death Attack for Paralysis
Leave the face to Thez or you activate your curse
Elves aren't hoo-man, and neither are vampires Xp
Jesus, Vamp Barry rolled a 1 on his saving throw against sneak attack. Let's just assume he got merc'd before he had a chance to raise an alarm.
Is Barry a Vampire?
For the record, sneak attacks don't require a die roll, they require the person on the receiving end to reflex save. And he ebin failed. Assuming Tracy didn't kill him, Trump sure as hell did, and vamp-barry is now a puddle-vampire as well, Thez keeping the bottle handy.
I decided it was a good day for Barry to die,... again.
*steals Barry's clothes, for the second time*
Anything I need to know before I get back to this shit?
[1d20 = 9]>>32604
What's the DC on these attacks?
Whelp, Trumpaladin listens for more people/things
We're in the Court City, apparently. We found a Vampire blood farming operation
[1d20+5 = 9]>>32607
Also Listen check
[1d20 = 8]>>32608
How the fuck did we get there?
GM, can I know Torc's surroundings?
Perception check just incase
"Thats sweet, but no way am I eating vampire face. Thats how you get the AIDS. In any case, we know which way to go now. These fucks are stuck in this form until the water evaporates, so we don't have to worry about them following us or raising an alarm."
She says as alarms are still going off in the Gallery room.>>32601
This Barry is a vampire. Don't worry, there'll be lots of Barry's, as well as others whom GM works with.>>32610
You're in an L-shaped room with 2 dead velociraptors, and two greenish puddles of water at intervals. There is an annoying alarm sound coming from one direction, and Thez is already headed in the other. Court City is where the party was following the I'nis Compass to, except that no one had ever been there and its not like anyone knocked on the door and asked "Where is this". Xp
*takes velociraptor skins as well*
Thez rolls her eyes. "If you really want to keep the corpses, help me carry these outside."
Okay, I see. DC10 + Assassin Level plus int modifier, though I want to note that it requires three rounds of study so waiting to do it to someone coming through a door would not allow a death attack, though it would allow a sneak attack>>32611>That's how you get AIDS
THANK YOU! Someone else finally noticed how dangerous eating random shit is
*Follows Thez to where ever she takes hims>>32612
That would make a wonderful purse, but I'm afraid that would take several minutes and we don't have the time
I would've just taken their entire bodies, but Trump's faggot is paranoid about worms.
*helps to carry*
*Helps Thez carry Potential Purses. Get's Fae to help*
"Tracy, can I get a tissue sample?"
Torc follows, helping how he can
*offers piece of dino*
They are too heavy and generally not worth taking the whole thing, just get the skins.
"Thanks Tracy. So, now what the hell are we doing?"
"We're looking for the stupid bull before he gets himself killed."
"We're going to door Red 8 so we can rescue Inferius"
"I knew that.">>32622
"Is that where he is?"
Fair point, I'll not make that mistake again.>>32615>>32616
Upon getting the bodies outside, Thez <whoooof>'s one away,.... <whooof>'s back,... and then <whooooof>'s the other one away,... before <whoooof> returning.
"There. They're outside the city wall, if you want to retrieve or resource them later.">>32620>>32358
Vampire-elf-guy just revealed that the door (8) at the end of the path that Red 7 is on is the door that the party wants to go to find Infernius.
Considering the available options, the party bypassed a whole lot of crawling and fighting, not to mention back-tracking and shit. It wasn't a perfect choice, but it was damn near.
"Well, If we're goin'..."
Torc steps to the side and gestures at Thez
"I already took the best parts, but I'll pick them up later."
>>32624>My Choice was amazing
"Tracy, want to inspect door Red 8?"
[1d20+5 = 11]>>32627
Listen check to hear what's beyond the door.
Should I summon Trash Man?
Wait for the next fight.
Well I assume there will be one when we go through the door
Nothing can be heard from this position. No sounds occur from around the door.
Distant, but 2 presences far from the door in the next room.
Is Torc gonna have to fireball a door again?
"Anytime today would be nice..."
None except Torcuil and Trump.>>32637
The door opens to a long staircase leading down. 2 voices can be heard speaking from the bottom, one female and one male. The female is raspy and ghostly, the male is deep and inhuman.
"who wants to walk down?" Trumpaladin whispers
[1d20 = 6]>>32637
Torc summons the Trash Man
15 CHAGM, feel free to makes slight changes if necassary
Rolling initiatve for Trash Man>>32639
[1d20+5 = 18]>>32638
Spot check to see what's down there, through the dark>low-light vision/darkvision
THEY ARE TOO FAR AWAY! WE HAD THE ELEMENT OF SURPISE! Oh Come on! We could have listened to them
*Throws Torcuil own the stairs*
[2d20 = 6]>>32640
*kicks trash can down the stairs with both rear hooves, as a distraction*
*Sends chain after it to auto-attack whatever's down there*
Rolling for chain's attacks
[1d20 = 14]>>32642
He never said anything?
What the hell?
*grabs torc, to keep him from falling*
Seriously. It actually makes my job more difficult now. Hold on,....
I want to specify the Trash Man made no noise, he just appeared>>32645
Torc whispers "thanks Tracy"
Trumpaladin stands back and expresses his frustration
So you summoned him without making a sound? Cuz, Summon Trash Man is a non-verbal spell? The Trash Man doesn't strike me as the quiet type.
Tracy shoved him down the stairs as soon as he appeared.>element of surprise.
It's the Trash Man. He doesn't do stealth>>32649
There are better ways to Leeroy Jenkins
I'm the Rogue/Assassin/Blackguard; let me decide the sneak attacks!
Does writing in a tome make noise?
BESIDES just the Trash Man could run downI'm honestly supprised now one has killed Torc out of sheer annoyance, especially you GM. I fucking suck at this
Because throwing a trashcan down spiral stairs is so stealthy>>32653>supprised now one has killed Torc out of sheer annoyance
I know, right?
Fuck your wussy ass sneak attacks
TM> I'M THE TRASH MAN
And he jumps down the stairs to fight while Torc holds everyone back at the top
Torc (whispering)> Hold up, lets see how long he lasts
[1d20 = 2]>>32653
If I was rigidly adhering to D&D rules, I probably would have.>>32654
Its a straight staircase. So the ppl at the bottom know that there's something at the top. For future reference, consider casting spells before
entering the room you wish to be sneaky-ish in.>>32643
Quaint, but the staircase is more than 60'
H> Finger of Death
The sound of Trash Man slumping and then dematerializing can be heard.
"You, go and learn what the meaning of this is."
Heavy steps can be heard advacing up the staircase.
>>32656>Finger of Death
So now we know what is waiting for us
>>32657>2>still killed him instantly
Torc projects his sheild and pulls out staff of ulitimate power
Moves outside of stairwell, and readies Full Round attack with Smite Evil on the first two attacks. Fae is asked to do the same on the other side
Fall back a bit and prepare chain for attacking.
That was Trash Man's saving throw>>32660
The footsteps stop part of the way up the staircase,... cuz there's a pretty obvious spiked chain dangling there.
>>32661>"Recommend sneak attack like on Barry. You will not get a better chance, and distance will not save you"
Thez sighs and goes ethereal.
*chain slowly and awkwardly retracts*
How do you determine the DC for a finger of Death?
The spell listing has it as a fortitude save, DC spell level (7) + intelligence bonus.
Matters how powerful the caster is.
Mirthless chuckling can be heard from the base of the stairs.
"Very well. Take your time revealing yourselves, your intrusion has been noted and will be swiftly routed," the voice grains, in an abysmally low tone.
Oh Thank God.
*Holds on to +15 Fortitude save modifier like prayer beads, but remains at the door, readying an attack*
Want to do this?
Strike that, its 10 + spell lvl + int bonus
[angry chain-rattling noises]
Well that's less good>>32673
We could go Ethereal and go around him maybe
Booms can be heard from beyond the current adversary.
[1d20+21 = 27]>>32674
Walls don't allow for phasing through.
Spot check to witness whoever's at the bottom
Can't really charge him, and need a specific mount to go ethereal to get around him, so I'm stuck for the moment
Torc's faggot frantically searches for the SoUP's spell list
Walls can't be phased through, but dudes can.
More booms can be heard from beyond the current guy (Oh FFS, its Dick Cheney)
Fuck it then.
*Advance down the stairs in ghost-form*
DIck Cheney stands there, giving his zombie-face, and looking quite evil and undead. He wields a warhammer, and is clad in blackened armor. He seems oblivious to your movements.
Que? Is he deer hunting>>32681>"You materialize next to him, make a sneak attack, and I'll flank him with the boots"
Why is he a villain though?
Rapid-dismount requires a Ride check.>>32684>Dick Cheney.
Wait. Am I mounted on you?
I have an idea to buy us time
Torc casts wall of force in the stairwell when he can
That's what you said earlier
I'm going to have to go soon...
>>32685>Implying America did anything wrong in spreading Democracy to the Middle East and Liberating the oppressed oil reserves there>>32688
Eh, rides ghost horsey down stairs, and readies an attack for when she materializes behind him
I really can't tell if you're being ironic or not...
>>32689>wants to get into a lengthy discussion about foreign policy cuz GM decided he'd make a good undead character.
Sigh, no mounting indoors.>>32685
Hasn't been mounted since first endering the place,....
More booms, and a click sound can be heard from beyond Dick Cheney.
That will buy time,... in a manner of speaking.
Tracy walks forward down the dark corridor, sword drawn and chain prepared on auto-strike.
Trumpaladin walks into the doorway, and casts
Have fun running into that wall of force
He casts in on Dick Cheney. Cause he's dead
Why did you do that? How does that do anything other than fuck us over by leaving us unable to attack him? And yes I have an idea, cast "Implosion" on him
Fine, but when he kills you first I'll be the last to cate.
Trrc cancels that and casts ray of enfeeblement
Don't cast on Tracy.
I wasn't going too
Wait a minute.
Casts DEATH WARD on self
If Tracy would like to be five feet or less from Trumpaladin at the time of casting, AND remain within five feet of him as they progress down the stair case, Tracy can have immunity to finger of death and perhaps a couple other benefits Trumpaladin casts on himself
Follow her down the stairs.
[1d20 = 19]
If Thez were in the room, she would be facepalming. A few more BOOMs can be heard from the next room.>>32699>ROE
Hmmm, that one might actually do something.
[1d6+5 = 9]
ROE strikes successfully, severely retarding Dick's strength.
I hope that 19 is in my favor
Eat dick Dick....
That sounds weird
"Prepare yourselves, for you'll be denied the quiet of death." Dick says, ascending the staircase.
Should I mention that the staircase is too narrow to allow ppl to stand side-by-side?
Yeah that might be useful
Is there a roll Torc has to do when he shoots his pistols, cause thats gonna hapen after the Pence Prod comes out
Trumpaladin goes towards Cheney to try to attack him with his sword
Use the Hand of Glory to cast Daylight down the stairs.
Too narrow to dodge?
Throw as many poisoned kunai as she can in one turn.
Do you want to be the person to make melee contact, or me?
You're gonna use the melee cattle-prod before the ranged pistols?>>32714>poison>undead>facepalming intensifies
You might want to get behind and above me
>>32716I'm sorry. I've got a project that's due in three hours, and I haven't been paying the best attention...
Its not supposed to be melee, I thought I said it shot lightning.
But, I guess it's pistol time.>>32718
Oh fuck, you go do that
Grapples pony, and move her above and behind him so he'll be the one to take the hit and not waifu
Casts Protection from Evil on Self
This was not intended to be posted. If cheney is a single round away, Trumapaldin readies an attack, with two smite evils
Thats fine, I'm about to cinematic it to a close anyhow>>32719
You said "Cattle Prod">>32722
Dick Slowly creeps his way up the stairs, not for stealth but to maintain his posture. He displays a certain finesse, despite being a walking corpse (what? he IS!)
A BOOOOM sound echoes from beyond Dick Cheney, followed by a scraping sound.
That shot lightning
Well, then Trumpaladin casts Protection from Evil on himself. If pony is close enough (I think she should be) she should also receive it because she has the Paladin's Mount class
To Dick Cheney
"Have I ever told you that I appreciate what was accomplished in Iraq? Not only did you get Sadam out, but you managed to build a democratic regime that lasted"
:O - amazed face
What kind of cattle prods shoot lightning?