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Kaverns & Kobolds Two: The Electric Boogaloo
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.162916
Welcome to the Kaverns & Kobolds Klub (/kkk/).

This source will be dedicated to posting resources and session logs for a whacky low-level 3.5e adventure featuring an all-kobold party, with the recurring theme of (((gnome))) genocide.
The game begins at lvl 1 using standard 3.5e rules, with a few houserules. The setting is generic and uses elements from various d&d settings. Characters begin at lvl 1 with 40 point buy stats, and all PCs recieve Dragonwrought and Dragontouched as a bonus feat!

Adventure Synopsis:
>For centuries, the kobolds of the Spawncamper tribe lived in rugged peace, amassing great wealth in the mines and only suffering occasional mass casualties from battles with neighboring goblinoids, gnomes, gnolls, dwarves, and really everything else. However, that changed just a months ago, when the tribe's clergy stopped recieving bonus spells from their almighty Lord and Savior: the Devil Kurtulmak. The Silence of Kurtulmak lasted for only one week, but the event shook the core of the tribe. In their search for answers, the tribal leadership determined that the cause for the silence was for the fact that they had failed to wage war on the neighboring gnomish kingdom of Glimmersburg for too many years. Intent on proving their devotion to their lord, the fanatic kobolds rallied their forces and planned an all out assault on Glimmersburg and its neighboring villages.
.....
>The invasion resulted in catastrophe. While the Kobolds fought well and were skilled in the arts of gnome-slaying, they miscalculated the strength of the gnomish kingdom's alliance with the nearby dwarven clans, and were forcefully pushed back and outnumbered. They also never expected to be flanked by svirfneblin from the underdark blocking off their path of escape. Outnumbered and surrounded in three dimensions, the Spawncamper tribe suffered casualties like they'd never seen before, pushed to the bring of extinction. What's more, the war revealed veins of rich mineral resources that the kobolds had been mining, and the gnomes of Glimmersburg decided they would annex the territory of the spawncampers and get rid of the kobold nuisiance once and for all. In a last bid effort, the tribal leadership set off a series of explosive traps that collapsed the majority of the mines that had been taken over by gnomes, causing mass casualties on both sides, but buying some of the remaining kobolds time to escape. Spawncamper tribe was all but destroyed, with the few that survived scattering in every direction for survival. In a The Gnomes currently occupy what remains of the mines, and are intent on slaughtering every last one of them.
>But as the mighty Kurtulmak taught them, no battle with gnomes is over so long as one kobold survives. Soon, the gnomes of Glimmersburg will once again face the wrath of Kurtulmak and the blood of Tiatmat.
.....
>And so, we begin with the position of our heroes. They are brave kobold warriors who fought in the Glimmersberg assault. Ranking high in their respective warbands, they've seen their share of work and battle following the three K's of Koboldism: Kruelty, Kowardice and Kunning. After strategically pushing their younger comrades into the meatgrinder, they set off a powerful Wyrm ditherbomb that collapsed the cavern of a battlefield while they hid in a storage cache where they stayed for days.
>Running low on resources, our heroes are set to emerge from their little fishbowl and make their own path. Perhaps they will seek revenge on the gnomes who destroyed their society. Perhaps they'll search the rubble for survivors. They might rebuild and repoulate the mines themselves, or leave the kaverns in search of better luck elsewhere. They might just cower in place until they run out of dead corpses and eat eachother. Perhaps they'll set off on their own adventure and the honest life of the average murderhobo. Only time can tell.

The /kkk/ runs on discord (for now) as a corner of the 'Official' /mlpol/ Horseplay Initiative. I started this adventure as a joke, but I've decided to use it to test methods and media for a multi-media Westmarches that I've been planning to create for this community. New members/players are always welcome:
https://discord.gg/QBJqaM64H5

This setting uses Action Points (Eberron style, not UA style), and any character who writes a log, session summary, in-character anecdote, artwork or other substantial contribution gets one free action point at the end of the session, so please write logs.
114 replies and 66 files omitted.
Anonymous
084ee26
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No.165215
165379
>>165214
It is observably NOT me asking you to feature lewd lizzers pictures, cuz that would be bad for society.
<but it was>
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165216
>>165212
Breaking news, local kobolds find mole corpse holding a lurking gnome near their campsite! The gnomish suspect was last seen red-hot and charging into the woods and remains at large, any knowledge as to this creep's whereabouts will be greatly appreciated.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165217
>>165212
>>165214
An ample description will be rewarded with an action point, as usual.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165303
PXL_20220802_031942486.jpg
Imperial Wyrmhunter, as Zags described it in his charcoal drawing.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165345
03eb8f489a4a13b1a1220ba2a4e462e9cf56e0b41a964ae9bbdcf311afdbc962_1.jpg2.jpg

Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165379
165384 165388
20220806_033136.jpg
>>165215
>POV: Kisara caught you spying
You'd better appreciate this anon, I didn't spend 4 hours drawing and abusing three of my colored pencils for nothing!
Anonymous
f4e710a
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No.165384
165408
PXL_20220807_040808294.MP.jpg
>>165379
Nice work, Kisara.
Anonymous
084ee26
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No.165388
>>165379
Based and lewdpilled
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165389
DAY 34 (i think)
I've been tracking events based on a lunar calendar. Whatever it is, it's the day before the solstice, the last cresent before the new moon.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165391
Meepo getting back to the citadel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRc_WeN9vhI
Anonymous
65689b3
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No.165392
FVA9as5VEAA5JUt_1.png
This session in a nutshell
Anonymous
f4e710a
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No.165394
unknown_64_10.png
Yusdrayl, sparing me the burden of having to write actual lines for her this session:
Anonymous
65689b3
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No.165396
PXL_20220808_033928094.jpg
New places means new foods.
Briaxshulty cream is something that kobolds don't get to try very often.
Yusdrayl seemed to like it.
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165401
165402 165600
>>165212
>Where we last left off, we had just finished washing off our kobold smells as much as we could before our shower got interrupted by a bunch of fey (or one nosy anon if you choose to believe my picture)

>So we begin the session discussing how we'll go about scouting oakherst
>We decide our order of operations, get in our disguises (Kisara/Vyth/Adooris and Yusdrayl/Misc./Akara), and head into town to scout out a tavern first
>On our way over, an obviously drunk guy calls out to us and mistakes the being henceforth known as Kithoris for someone named Barney
>Kithoris respectfully corrects the man, and disengages from the conversation to join the being henceforth known as Yusara inside the tavern
>Adooris gets a bit mad that we didn't do any digging yet, given the NPC told us something about Barney losing his farm, but Kisara decided it would be better to waste as little time in the open where somebody could potentially reveal us to the relevant authorities
>We go inside the tavern, and some guard gives us the stinkeye over his full english but otherwise doesn't bother us thankfully
>Something that we noticed immediately though was a dorf and a halfling arguing with a gnome nearby
>The halfling is yelling at the dorf about some kind of breach of a moving contract, all the while the gnome is writing shit on a scroll
>The halfling does win the argument though, with the gnome and dorf leaving to come back tomorrow night for some reason
>The halfling then comes over to us, so we order some food and try to blend in for the moment
>The operative word being try, since Kithoris ordered a respectable half-stack of pancakes and some water for breakfast while Yusara ordered a full fucking cooked sheep and no drink...
>Kithoris then tries to open a conversation with the halfling lady and we learn that Oakherst is being ceded to Gnisrael with the humans being forced to move out for the most part
>We also learn some small pieces of information about the Silver Empire, being that they apparently have widespread use of actual silverware instead of wood or something
>The halfling lady then lets us go about eating our food, and those of us inside the trench coats sneak pieces of food and drink when and where they can
>I roll some dice and Kisara enjoys the pancakes, but doesn't enjoy the purified mineral water
>While we're eating though, some cloaked figure approaches us and tells us to meet it out back in kobold speak!
>As we go to leave though, Yusdrayl grabs some last-minute food off the table, including a pitcher of whipped cream
>We then go to meet the figure out back, and as it turns out it's Meepo!
>He looks way older and acts a bit different too despite only about a week of being gone for some reason...
>He seems pissed about getting ditched, but we explain the issue to him about the tree and needing to evacuate hurriedly and eventually things are forgiven
>Anyway, he's planted all the big bombs at the important locations to hit so we can blow them up with smaller bombs
>Another argument starts because it wasn't exactly clear that the explosives that were being used weren't going to tear apart the entire town, but we get past all the arguing after like 10 minutes and then have Meepo fill us in on things around town
>The big building that all the kobolds were being put into is gay baby jail, and there's a lot of big strong dudes in there locking it up tight
>Meepo planted bombs under the walls in preparation for a prison break during the raid
>It's about here that I get a sneaking suspicion that Meepo isn't Meepo
>There's no evidence though, as all of us get middling to bad sense motive rolls and when prompted to "ask Meepo something that only he would know," she proceeded to ask him about a running joke throughout her tribe that he was the focus of instead of an actual question
>sigh
>Anyway, we continue going around and gathering information and decide to head to the other big, well-protected building next
>On the way there, we find a lady preaching a bunch of Pelor shit to a crowd
>She's getting heckled by a guard for not sucking Sigmar's dick though, so that's rude
>Luckily for her, that guard gets dragged off by another guard for a lunch date between his ass and more than a few pineapples, so the lady continues doing her thing unhindered
>We then keep walking uninterrupted until we get to the building, and it turns out that it's a bank
>Meepo then tells us that it's apparently guarded by magic walls, and it's somewhat implied to be the reason Meepo's weird now, so we move on to the market next
>While we're there, we see a gnome selling some familiar-looking weasels
>As it turns out, they're dire weasels that might be stolen from the spawncampers during the raid that broke them, so we buy them back from the gnome and make a note to steal the rest of his shit after we kill the dealer during the raid
>We end up coming to a deal after some diplomacy and disguise checks, and bring the weasels and some supplies we negotiated for out of the town with Meepo's help
>Kithoris and Yusara then dissolve back into their constituent pieces and they all go to report to Ukri again
>We then spend the rest of the session working out some raid plans, and it's decided that we go for the prison break first before going off to try to lure out the gnomish bastard that has our crap still
>It's also brought up that he'll likely be there with more clerics of his god than just him, but with any luck the raid will have them all spread out so we can focus on killing them one at a time
>After that's settled, the session ends there!

A fun time, and I enjoyed becoming The Ultimate Lifeform™ with the rest of the party! It may just be because I was the one actually doing everything, but I found the RP to be fun and the stealth to be engaging despite not getting much XP from it (though getting to level 5 from drawing a picture of Kisara standing naked in a river likely helped alleviate my endless hunger for experience points). Anyway, the raid's next, see ya then!
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165402
image_2022-08-08_210043251.png
>>165401
>mfw exactly 6000 characters
Anonymous
11387bc
?
No.165408
PXL_20220810_022236564.MP.jpg
>>165384
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165481
PXL_20220815_034844055.MP.jpg
Screenshot_490.png
Highlight of today's session
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165555
165558
Screenshot_20220818-145613.png
Check'em
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165558
165559
>>165555
Congrats, you're the new Flash Sentry. Hope it was worth it
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165559
165561
Kobold (5).jpg
>>165558
Someone had to take it.
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165561
165562 165563
>>165559
Literally what he used to justify his shit. As I said, congrats; you've come full circle.
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165562
>>165561
Not to suggest you're a narcissist, but AM indicating you're behaving LIKE a narcissist. Kudos
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165563
165564
Kobold.JPG.jpg
>>165561
Oh seethe harder faggot. Would you rather the retards in the flat earth thread take it?
I saw quads right in front of me, so I took those quads. I don't do it here that often.
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165564
165565
>>165563
Yes, your propensity to make excuses is well established. However, you're fully entitled to provide more evidence, if that's your preference.
>tl;dr Make all the excuses you want; you've become the thing you opposed. Hope you're happy with it, I'm sure he was.
Anonymous
076609c
?
No.165565
165566
fluttershy_roll_eyes_by_yanoda_d4xir6j-fullview (1).png
>>165564
Whatever you say then.
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165566
>>165565
Yeah, he said that too
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165574
165575
PXL_20220819_021421411.jpg
Return Of The Skellymans
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165575
165576
>>165574
*clickity clackity*
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165576
>>165575
*DOOT*
Anonymous
4602c13
?
No.165600
165601 165829
>>165401
>Where we last left off, we had just returned from our scouting mission in Oakherst, finding that it had been bought out by Gnisrael and reporting this information to Ukri

>We actually begin in a brief interlude between leaving town and getting back to camp, where we're ambushed by a party of gnomes!
>We quickly kill them all, letting not a single one flee back to warn the town of our presence in the forest
>The rest of the day goes as discussed though, with us reporting our findings and weasels to Ukri before going off to do our own respective things
>Kisara takes rest of the day off, Adooris writes a letter and attempts to talk to the Pelor lady (potentially jeopardizing the raid, I'm not sure), and Vyth goes with Akara/Yusdrayl to make a new shrine to Kurtulmak
>In the process, he breaks a geode and ends up pissing off an earth spirit fey thingy called an oread
>Apparently, this thing's basically a mountain dryad and they fucked with its pet rock or something by turning it into a statue of Kurtulmak
>We spend some time fucking with it, but it then initiates combat
>It charms Vyth, and in response we go to battlestations
>Kisara fires off a warning shot that does some minor damage, and we end up negotiating with it through Akara doing what he does best (being a bitch)
>It wants us to donate some mineral/metallic stuff to compensate for fucking with its rock though, so, unfortunately, we do...
>Kisara gives it a 100gp copper ring to fuck off, Adooris gives it some gold nuggets we got from the gnomes, Vyth offers a buttload of onyx gems (still charmed, by the way), and Ukri/Yusdrayl cough up some gems and copper ingots
>With the current situation resolved, it lets us ask one question each
>Adooris: "what item did the gnome take from the tree?"
>Oread: "A token of the earth imprinted with the lady's face and tail (a coin)"
>Kisara: "why the fuck are you here?"
>Oread: "banished to the forest for committing mountain crimes"
>Vyth: "wanna fuck?"
>Oread: "lmao no"
>Yusdrayl: "Where's the good mining spots for shinies?"
>Oread: "a list of places for later"
>Ukri: "Is the tribe safe here?"
>Oread: "Not my problem"
>Akara: "[sniveling dwarven]?"
>Oread: "[incomprehensible fey]"
>We then have a small IC argument where Kisara demands to know what Akara said and, when denied, starts throwing insults while Adooris attempts to stand up to her raw Facts and Logic™
>Vyth and Ukri then animate some dead in preparation for the raid, and the session ends there

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus 2 sacrificed for power

All in all, a fun session and I enjoyed being able to screw around with the oread and also fighting some more gnomes! It sucks that there's no session this week as the GM needs to tackle some IRL stuff, but I don't mind it. Next week's the raid, and I hope to see you all there!
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165601
165655 165731
facepalm-pony.jpg
>>165600
>Mfw I decide to use a humanoid-ish enemy but forget it has no languages in common with the party
Anonymous
297996b
?
No.165655
165732
>>165601
Could wear a Translator Ring that breaks it dies or anyone tries stealing it
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165731
165732
>>165601
<scribble scribble
Are you sure? Look again
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165732
>>165655
>>165731
Nah, I don't ever retcon monster stats/equipment. Once initiative is rolled I stop editing the statblock.
Anyways, there was still an NPC that could speak Dwarven that was able to translate.
Anonymous
f4e710a
?
No.165733
Ukri speaks Dwarven too, now that I think about it.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165816
165817 165828
PXL_20220816_043851771.MP.jpg
Meet the super-scary, absurd-damage, borderline-unfair miniboss I made, that died with one hit because he failed a saving throw at the beggining of the encounter.
Anonymous
084ee26
?
No.165817
165823
>>165816
<Aye, it do be like that sometimes.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165823
CKE6NxhDayDIWXGikoI7K-YIs2uo-QyeYK043vFZnJI.jpg
70cac1308844724275b86978e345548c.jpg
>>165817
Maybe it was for the best. The energy-drain he was capable of might have really been a bit too brutal in the long run. Party still has to fight my *other* super brutal Rogue/Mage hybrid boss.
Anonymous
1376274
?
No.165828
165829
>>165816
You don't fudge dice rolls to make fights last until a second or two after they stop being fun?
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165829
165844 165947
>>165828
the way he described the boss and due to the fact that it stopped being fun on turn 1, I'd say that the fight only lasting one round is completely justified. Anyway...

>>165600
>Where we last left off, Vyth and Ukri had raised some dead after we fucked around with an oread

>We start off the session by interrogating some gnomes
>Good intimidation makes all of them start shitting themselves
>All but one though, turns out he's a cleric of berefart bitchass
>Knowing this, we do everything we can to get as much information out of him as possible
>Kisara even eats his own disembodied arm after beating him with it, much to his horror and our amusement
>We eventually decide to just check his gear, and find a suspiciously magic paper
>We start breaking apart its magical defenses and even spring a magical trap on one of the prisoner gnomes causing the cleric to offer us an actual reading, but we decline and decode some more until we make another prisoner read it
>It's just some cryptic bullshit, something about dots at sundown or something
>This means nothing to us, but hopefully it gives us some way to find that one asshole
>We then skip forward to just before the raid, where we sacrifice all the prisoners as a solar eclipse begins at sundown
>Said solar eclipse lasts for way longer than usual, and still hasn't ended as of the end of the session
>When we arrive, we find Oakherst already under assault by gnolls, so distraction secured?
>All the kobold teams break off to do their jobs, and we start by going to rescue the captured kobolds
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
>And that Vyth disguised himself as a human child when we went in, meaning that him getting caught didn't break our cover
>We definitely fuck up at getting them out though, so that sucks
>The human Slavemaster then jumpscares us, starting combat with all of us but Akara being stuck cowering for one round
>Luckily for me though, Akara not being terrified shifts his focus and stops me from immediately being killed outright!
>Vyth then counters this fear bullshit by blackpilling him with the heartache spell, leaving him in the exact position we were in last turn
>Akara coup-de-graces that asshole despite a bunch of approaching enemy guards' best efforts, but he still almost gets shredded completely
>He survives though, leaving kisara open to fry 6 of the 8 not in melee with Akara
>Everybody but meepo takes on some guards, he's busy actually freeing the kobolds and getting them out of harm's way
>Akara goes down after a few too many hits though, so that's a big problem
>Vyth and Kisara finish off the remaining guards relatively quickly and help him back up though, so our hero doesn't die here!
>Meepo also finishes freeing all the bolds, so with Vyth's skellies fucking up the remaining humans, we decide it's time to cheese it
>We put Akara (while he's recovering) and the Slavemaster's corpse on the floating disk and bring them both out of the camp with us
>I know that I'm taking his whip for myself, the rest of his loot can be divided between Vyth and Akara
>As of there though, the session is over

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus ??? sacrificed for power

Nicely done! We saved more kobolds (a few of them being revealed as more siblings of Kisara/Adooris/Yusdrayl after I completely miss an obvious hint), and we killed the worst boss we've had to fight yet with minimal pants-shitting! I'm hoping that that whip I get's going to have some kickass powers to use against the gnome, but if not then it still makes for a cool trophy for Kisara's growing horde. Onwards to the next part of this mission, finding that asshole cleric and putting him down to get our shit back and reclaim our pride! See you guys next week!
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165844
tumblr_m3akbte6911rv231do1_640.jpg
>>165829
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
Perhaps I didn't describe this accurately. The zombies in the fort weren't attacking the marines; they were following their orders and marching out of the camp.
Pic semi-related.
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165947
165953
>>165829
>Where we last left off, we killed the slavemaster, freed some kobolds, and fucked up the major stronghold of human resistance to our raid (and I lost my session notes for this last one because my browser crashed...)

>This time, we're going back to the rendezvous point by a gnoll demon lady and her gagglefuck of retards, and she's definitely a bit scary but her entourage breaks and then she bugs out
>There are also some grosser than usual gnomes helping her out, and it's revealed that these assholes worship a somehow more evil gnomish deity that just wants to consoom
>We move on and report back, delivering the freed kobolds and the slavemaster's corpse
>We then get word that there's a bunch of dancing Israelis gnomes around the place, so we investigate
>Turns out they're all illusions, and the spots on the horizon hint has told us nothing yet
>We're at least on the right track with the gnomes and their ritual though, so that's good
>We're rudely interrupted by a gnoll necromancer and her ghouls though, so we have to waste more precious time and spells on dealing with these interrupting cunts instead of our true enemy
>And that's where shit ends

Until now! Hopefully we aren't interrupted again and can actually get to the bottom of this crap chute so we can make that one evil tree stop wigging out and get our home back, but if it's as I suspect and we don't, then... fuck.
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165953
165954 165959 166044
>>165947
>Where we last left off, we beat the tar out of a gnoll necromancer and her goonsquad while making no headway on our investigation

>Now, we're still standing around and waiting for something to happen to yield new information
>The gnomes are illusions, we know that, now what else can we find out?
>Well, we can find out that we need to make listen checks
>Shit
>Wait, never mind, it's just Yusdrayl and some of her own mooks
>Apparently she got worried about us being out here and gathered a rescue squad since four kobolds in a warzone is apparently a death sentence instead of a covert ops team
>We put her mind at ease by informing her that we survived the Spawncampers' collapse and killed every gnome there with only three of us, and she then opts to join us on what's left of the investigation
>Said investigation is also cut even shorter by a bright flash of blue and a sonic boom from the center of town, and upon knowledge rolls being made, we learn that the humans have just used the Emperor's Seal
>Said seal being activated means one of two things: either the remaining human population is being bugged out, or they're bugging in an entire subjugation force
>Either way, shit's FUBAR and we need to scram
>We abandon the investigation and start circling around Oakherst to meet back up at the rendezvous point, but along the way two things happen
>1: We get ambushed by more gnolls and the martials take them out quickly while at least Kisara decides that it's better to just run
>2: We notice a pattern in the illusory gnomes, particularly that they all seem to be situated behind shops!
>Perfect, there's our clue!
>We stealth our way over to a shop now and head in the back, finding the shopkeeper dead on the floor and a knife in his back matching the type of knife that we know is used by the assholes we're looking for
>We also find a secret tunnel under a trapdoor, but knowing what we do, we check it for traps
>The door is trapped, the tunnel's VERY trapped, and by the time we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we are paranoid of more traps
>Also, in fear of actually risking our lives in a real fight here, we wait outside the light and plan for a while since this seems like the place to find Dickhead Stickyfingers
>Such plans include splitting the party to get help while the rest of us forge ahead, sending one of Yusdrayl's guards to do the same, and even just full tactical retreating back to the rendezvous point to report our findings and bring the entire raid force down into the complex
>We don't settle on anything actually tactical though, since I have a fart in a jar that I saved from some optional fight we had a while ago!
>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
>The gnomes in the room are all gassed, and since we completely misjudged just how much this spell would spread, we also retreat back up the tunnel until it stops chasing us at an incline
>Through some other knowledge rolls, we also learn that this spell will last for around 10 minutes and, so long as it's not forced to travel up an incline, will spread up to a 900-foot radius
>Well then!
>The gurgled kvetching of well over 300 gnomes eventually echoes up the tunnel to us, all the while Kisara starts laughing maniacally at her own spark of mad genius playing out somehow much better than even she expected until the 10 minutes pass and we get to explore what apparently is actually a full underground complex!
>We make our way into the first room, find a couple clerics of berefart who were BRAAAPed to death, loot their bodies, and find nothing of use to us, so we move on deeper
>As we move deeper, we find that this was more than just the site of some berefart bitchass cultists conducting a ritual, it was an entire gnomish safehouse in the event of a raid on the town!
>Minecarts of dead gnomes are passed, counted, and added to the total, gnome corpses are found in the middle of doing mundane things like buying, selling, and eating food (which Kisara of course steals and eats some of), and more of those clerics are found and their corpses looted to see if any of them are our guy
>Eventually, we make it to a place directly under the town center, what seems to be a full nexus of the gnomish refugee efforts littered with the corpses of various gnomes and more clerics, but still none of them are our guy
>Damn, we missed him!
>Oh well, maybe he's still up ahead?
>Well, I'd love to know, but Kisara just got tapped for well over her HP total and goes down, forcing me to action-point stabilize!
>FUCK
>And behind us, bloody and looking very worse for wear but nowhere near dead yet, is Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>Initiative is rolled and the fight starts, everybody who goes into melee with him either almost dies or, in the unlucky case of one kobold who got some unlucky rolls, outright dies
>This is also within the first turn, so this guy's probably going to TPK us and I make my displeasure known while the DM counters with the fact that this encounter was supposed to be very different and he was supposed to be much less bloodthirsty
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
>Entirely fair, but I'm still salty
>Luckily though, Meepo scores an incredibly lucky triple crit after Akara and the mooks soften the gnigger up a bit, allowing him to effectively blow his head apart with a high velocity slug from his summoned shotgun!
>This ends the bossfight and we're, surprisingly enough, not entirely dead! Everybody picks up and we dust ourselves off, saying a few quick words about the fallen guy and hyping up Meepo for saving our asses
>The session ends there though, since the DM had no idea how to keep going after his boss died
>Understandable
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165954
>>165953
An INCREDIBLY productive session! We've solved the ritual, killed damn near 400 gnomes, and we killed our first BBEG even if it was entirely by Lady Luck deciding that the dice love us today for some reason! Also, we got a relic of Kurtulmak that that asshole swiped a while back, it's basically a wearable bag of holding that we find all of our missing shit in! Hopefully we also find the missing coin so we can calm the evil tree back down and hopefully salvage what's left of our previous home, but if not we did just clear out a fairly large underground complex that was premade, so... Well. Anyway, now that this (what I consider to be) side mission is over, we can hopefully end off this other side mission and then continue about uniting every kobold tribe in the area into the Neo Spawncampers! Either way, I'll see you all next sunday for the next session and whatever comes next!

>Current gnome kill count: 683 dead, 6 sacrificed for power, and 1 asshole who's getting eaten as soon as we get back to camp whether he's cooked or not
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165959
165961
>>165953
>>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
In all technicality, you didn't actually need to use that, since Cloudkill has pretty decent range. I just treated it as a +1 circumstance bonus to the caster level check (which I rolled secretly) needed to activate the scroll in the first place (failure could have meant a mishap that would have killed all of you instantly).
And you succeeded, and I learned why you don't give low level parties randomized scrolls of high level spells...
>will spread up to a 900-foot radius
Incorrect, actually. The Cloudkill spell simply moves 10 feet away from the caster every round. It was due to the simplified layout of the dungeon (which was based on a subway system) that the spell managed to drift through every corner of the tunnel. The widest part of the dungeon was ~40 ft across. Had you actually fought through the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard.
I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you Xp. Also the spell had defiler bonuses due to how Belak scribed it.
>find a couple clerics
Yes, there were several Clerics in the dungeon, all of which had Dark Road prepared that would have ideally been able to create a bridge across the Cacophonous Canyon where the exit of the dungeon leads and evacuate the civilians. However, all of them but the boss were below lvl 3, so they died in the gas. All of the ones outside the initial spell's effect failed their spellcraft checks to properly identify it as a Cloudkill spell (they thought it was just a Fog Cloud spell with hostiles hidden in it, and braced for battle), which meant that they too perished in the gas.
Erkey Timbers had his skills spread so thin that he failed his Concentration check to cast his own Dark Road, which meant he was pushed and trampled by a mob of panicking gnomes who fell into the gorge as the gas advanced on them.
>Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
Yep. One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died).
Erkey Timbers, if that was even his real name (it wasn't), was the sole survivor of the dungeon. Having lost a great amount of Constitution from the gas, and blinded by rage and fury. He forwent his planned illusionary deception/stalling routine and instead elected to buff himself with every combat spell he had, intent on murdering any mage that could have been capable of casting the spell that that slew his flock. After taking some nasty hits, he was defeated.

The session didn't really go as planned, but it certainly was fun.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.165960
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Funny genocide spell
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.165961
>>165959
>I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you
tbh I think that actually worked better than just making it go forward, after all gas diffuses in every direction it can and, if it's heavier than air due to the magical toxins, that would mean it's supposed to flow downwards anyway, like how it was roleplayed during the session.
>had you actually fought the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard
so yeah, a very good idea that we cloudkilled the place instead of trying to actually navigate it lmao
>One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died)
I shudder to imagine what those two would've been capable of if they had also survived alongside our target, it probably would've been a fresh higher level party against our severely depleted low-level party and thus an absolute slaughter. Good thing they died!
Kisara's Player
4602c13
?
No.166044
>>165953
>Where we last left off, we managed to kill our great enemy and looted his corpse, retrieving our stuff and reclaiming our honor!

>Now, we're still in the tunnel and celebrating our triumph over this powerful foe, lulled into a sense of security by the stillness of the tunnel around us
>Such celebration was, unsurprisingly, cut short when we heard something coming from deeper within the tunnel
>It was... skittering?
>Mechanical skittering, and a lot of it!
>We're suddenly being run down by a horde of copper spiders and we have to get out of here yesterday!
>This thought is also punctuated by a deafening draconic roar from outside of our darkvision range, coming from an immense silhouette!
>This dragon then crawls forward, revealing itself to be a copper dragon whose eyes are heavily bleeding and is just as pissed off as the jerkoff we just killed
>It screams something about wanting to know who disturbed its lair, and we all stay quiet like the smart kobolds we were, while also making like trees and running the fuck away
>The dragon and its mech army pursues us, the dragon almost catching and instakilling Akara, but I blow my last wings of cover spell and save him from a particularly swift and gruesome demise
>We then manage to pull away from the dragon and exit the tunnels, returning to the shop we initially came from and noticing that the state of affairs has changed yet again
>Now even the gnolls are in full retreat, being assaulted by Minecraft's finest in the form of a bunch of big beefy golems
>Two of which were patrolling around the front and back of this shop respectively, one of which was standing between us and retreating back to the rendezvous point yet again
>However, this was an easy thing to overcome, as some good lore rolls gave us the reminder that golems short out from electricity spells and Kisara still had almost all of her level 0 spells!
>Kisara hides just inside a window and stealthily casts thunderhead, putting a dark cloud over the golem and leaving him in a state of shock as a small pack of kobolds charges out of the shop right in front of him!
>From there, we were unimpeded in getting back to the rendezvous point, but we found it deserted
>The bastards left us behind...
>A mistake they won't make again, once we prove to them just how good their A-Team (or maybe the K-team?) is!
>We track down the obvious trail of kobold prints as they file back to camp, but along the way we get interrupted by a bunch of ugly fucking demons
>The martials handle them while Kisara plinks at them with a crossbow, accomplishing roughly nothing in the process until they're all dead
>This then leaves us open again to getting to camp, which we manage to get back to in decent time, surprising everyone there yet again
>We're given a hero's welcome and we report our findings and lootings to Ukri who's suitably impressed, and we take our appropriate share of all the loot inside the asshole's cloak while moving on to our next mission the next day
>The K-Team then returns to the carved geode in the woods to talk to the Oread again and see which coin is the one we're looking for to calm down the tree, and after bribing her with 75PP worth of copper coins among assorted other coins, she answers us
>She pulls an exceedingly old looking gold coin from the pile, giving it back to us while taking all of the remaining coins into a hole under her rock while Vyth continues trying to get with her, and Kisara mockingly tries to help
>After that, with our new plan set, we get ready to delve back into the temple of Chronepsis and give the coin back to the tree and hopefully reclaim our new home!
>And the session ended there

Good session, and good escaping! Somehow we managed to outrun a copper dragon and live to see the next day, and now we just have to get to the tree and give it the coin to hopefully get it to go back to sleep and stop trying to dig its way to the surface. After that, we can hopefully retake our home and move on to the next kobold tribe in the area to make the Neo-Spawncampers one tribe stronger! See you guys... Well, in a couple hours, honestly.
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.166045
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Highlights from last week's session
Anonymous
65689b3
?
No.166047
Screenshot (501).png
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Highlights from last session: