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Kaverns & Kobolds Two: The Electric Boogaloo
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Welcome to the Kaverns & Kobolds Klub (/kkk/).

This source will be dedicated to posting resources and session logs for a whacky low-level 3.5e adventure featuring an all-kobold party, with the recurring theme of (((gnome))) genocide.
The game begins at lvl 1 using standard 3.5e rules, with a few houserules. The setting is generic and uses elements from various d&d settings. Characters begin at lvl 1 with 40 point buy stats, and all PCs recieve Dragonwrought and Dragontouched as a bonus feat!

Adventure Synopsis:
>For centuries, the kobolds of the Spawncamper tribe lived in rugged peace, amassing great wealth in the mines and only suffering occasional mass casualties from battles with neighboring goblinoids, gnomes, gnolls, dwarves, and really everything else. However, that changed just a months ago, when the tribe's clergy stopped recieving bonus spells from their almighty Lord and Savior: the Devil Kurtulmak. The Silence of Kurtulmak lasted for only one week, but the event shook the core of the tribe. In their search for answers, the tribal leadership determined that the cause for the silence was for the fact that they had failed to wage war on the neighboring gnomish kingdom of Glimmersburg for too many years. Intent on proving their devotion to their lord, the fanatic kobolds rallied their forces and planned an all out assault on Glimmersburg and its neighboring villages.
>The invasion resulted in catastrophe. While the Kobolds fought well and were skilled in the arts of gnome-slaying, they miscalculated the strength of the gnomish kingdom's alliance with the nearby dwarven clans, and were forcefully pushed back and outnumbered. They also never expected to be flanked by svirfneblin from the underdark blocking off their path of escape. Outnumbered and surrounded in three dimensions, the Spawncamper tribe suffered casualties like they'd never seen before, pushed to the bring of extinction. What's more, the war revealed veins of rich mineral resources that the kobolds had been mining, and the gnomes of Glimmersburg decided they would annex the territory of the spawncampers and get rid of the kobold nuisiance once and for all. In a last bid effort, the tribal leadership set off a series of explosive traps that collapsed the majority of the mines that had been taken over by gnomes, causing mass casualties on both sides, but buying some of the remaining kobolds time to escape. Spawncamper tribe was all but destroyed, with the few that survived scattering in every direction for survival. In a The Gnomes currently occupy what remains of the mines, and are intent on slaughtering every last one of them.
>But as the mighty Kurtulmak taught them, no battle with gnomes is over so long as one kobold survives. Soon, the gnomes of Glimmersburg will once again face the wrath of Kurtulmak and the blood of Tiatmat.
>And so, we begin with the position of our heroes. They are brave kobold warriors who fought in the Glimmersberg assault. Ranking high in their respective warbands, they've seen their share of work and battle following the three K's of Koboldism: Kruelty, Kowardice and Kunning. After strategically pushing their younger comrades into the meatgrinder, they set off a powerful Wyrm ditherbomb that collapsed the cavern of a battlefield while they hid in a storage cache where they stayed for days.
>Running low on resources, our heroes are set to emerge from their little fishbowl and make their own path. Perhaps they will seek revenge on the gnomes who destroyed their society. Perhaps they'll search the rubble for survivors. They might rebuild and repoulate the mines themselves, or leave the kaverns in search of better luck elsewhere. They might just cower in place until they run out of dead corpses and eat eachother. Perhaps they'll set off on their own adventure and the honest life of the average murderhobo. Only time can tell.

The /kkk/ runs on discord (for now) as a corner of the 'Official' /mlpol/ Horseplay Initiative. I started this adventure as a joke, but I've decided to use it to test methods and media for a multi-media Westmarches that I've been planning to create for this community. New members/players are always welcome:

This setting uses Action Points (Eberron style, not UA style), and any character who writes a log, session summary, in-character anecdote, artwork or other substantial contribution gets one free action point at the end of the session, so please write logs.
168 replies and 101 files omitted.
kobold ranger.gif

Kisara's Player, the Technologically Challenged
Ok, so where we left off there was a big ass spriggan and a mole raging in its wagey cage in the room we were in on our way back to the bigass tree to give it back its coin.

>Still in the room and doing combat, everybody else works on killing the spriggan while Kisara continues plinking the mole with spells
>Spriggan finally dies and due to fear auras from the mole we all have to retreat when it finally stops being held in a corner
>We all run back to the front entryway as the mole is left to do... demonic mole things, I guess
>One of us then gets the bright idea to go back out the way we came in, upon which the eldritch horror we left outside creates another fear aura to drive us to halfway in between it and the mole
>We then spend our time regrouping in a closet until we get our sanity back, upon which we see what all the mole's gotten up to
>Apparently it's now huge and tearing its way through the gnome/spriggan population of this place
>lol, lmao even
>All the same, we decide to make things a little more even by throwing some damage at the mole's ass before hightailing it around the alternate way to the tree hole
>We get involved with some spriggans also trying to flank it, and pester them accordingly while making sure the mole also gets some appropriate peppering before we initiate operation backdoor
>Along the way, we also break a few more captured kobolds out of their imprisonment and bring them with us !
>From here, we manage to sneak along fairly undisturbed aside from one more group of several spriggans, all of whom go down fairly easily now that we know what they're up to and all
>We then start pushing through the final stretch until we come across an area that we need to actually push through, namely a small hole made from one of the tree limbs cutting off the hallway
>The skeletons stand guard at the rear while kobolds squeeze their way through, until the final one, Yusdrayl, gets her fat ass stuck for four rounds until she's been greased, pushed on from behind by two skeletons, and pulled on from the front by several kobolds
>And the bitch has the audacity to pull out her jug of whipped cream and continue gorging herself after making it through because "her tail got singed"
>An argument then ensues with Yusdrayl trying to deny the obvious to everyone while Kisara tries to turn it around against her to maybe inspire her to not be the only kobold who can't count as tiny while squeezing, but the brainlets we rescued don't listen to reason, Akara follows the crowd, and Vyth fails his sense motive roll
>However, said roll then prompts a heal check, upon which we learn some things OOC that will be saved until Vyth's player opts to finally spill the beans IC
>And that's where things ended

And now it's 1:39 AM on the following sunday and I'm just now getting this out because I lost my tabs twice through technical difficulties and had to remember all this on the fly! There's probably going to be errors, but what do you expect from a sleep-deprived man a week after the fact? Anyway, this next session's when we go back into the tree hole, so let's see how that goes!
Highlights from today's session:
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, Yusdrayl got stuck in a hole and we made it back to the hole down to the basement!

>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
>We attempt to negotiate with him about the coin since he appears to still be sentient, but all that prompts is for him to dominate Kisara and send a bunch of our rescued kobolds into the pit to die
>As I was now no longer in control of my character, I was immediately dreading my imminent demise or worse, a TPK
>However, as I could do literally nothing to stop it, I opted to waste my time elsewhere for long enough to microwave some leftover pizza and ate it while watching youtube and waiting for something to happen
>And eventually something does happen, after two of my spells were burned with the purpose of killing the rest of the party Yusdrayl manages to dispel the domination instead of running away which she had a coinflip to do
>Anyway, with that mess handled, we finally get back to our actual purpose here
>Mainly, the coin
>Except all of our routes are cut off by roots
>Joy, more squeezing
>We then decide to go do something more worth our time, so Kisara throws the coin somewhere frustratedly and we all make for the underdark entrance we found here before
>Except that it's been blocked off by rocks
>Well, we dig through the rocks and find a burrowroot on the other side, a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
>We all decide to fuck off now, with Vyth spawning a giant centipede to hold the root at bay until we can squeeze through the opposite doorway
>We also don't forget the coin either
>Now that we're not in combat anymore, we're able to get away and regroup to treat some wounds inflicted by the plant and actually get back to what our initial mission was
>Before that though, we encounter some kind of weird dragon made of debris and detritus
>Said "dragon" turns out to be a guardian of the temple, a dragon's soul manifested into a body made of the area its sworn to defend or something
>Anyway, the "dragon" hears us and stares us down for a while before it makes a sense motive check on us, finds that we're here for a good reason, and lets us pass to the treasure room to deliver the coin
>And now, we're parked in front of said room after Vyth almost got eviscerated by the tree for trying to get in except it saw the coin and let him go without any problems
>And then the session ended, except in-text RP after the fact says that there's something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again

>And that's where the session ended, hopefully the next one's less fucky and I don't have any more of my spells burned by someone that isn't me. However, given I'm the party's main DPS for as long as I have spells, I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water and it's only a matter of time before it happens again somehow (either that or my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party). See you all next week, I guess?
>I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water
[deranged laughter]
>>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
Clarification: you did not recognize anything familiar about this particular elf. It's face was rotting and falling away.
You did, however, recognize the look of utter madness in its glowing green eyes, similar to those of Belak (aka The Preacher).
>a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
Don't forget the part where it can move it's speed as an immediate action. Probably it's scariest ability, in terms of survivability.
Also, it's not poisonous. It just leaves nasty, gaping sounds that bleed profusely and reduce your constitution.
>>We also don't forget the coin either
Yeah, throwing it away might've been painful without Vyth's Luck.
>makes a sense motive check on us
Not entirely accurate, but the creature didn't seem hostile to you, for some reason.
>something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again
>my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party
Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again. It's only by luck of the flowcharts that it hasn't happened that often yet.
Benign Transposition is a bitch.
Kisara's Player
>Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again
Duly noted, time to find ways to get around this in some way
unknown (23).png
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AI Kisara art
What AI generated that and how did you get such a good result?
It was done by a friend of Kisara's player, over the course of several hours.
>it was a website that required a 10$ subscription, that's all I remember

Also, if you're interested in playing, now would be a great time to introduce new characters.
Some highlights from today's session:
More highlights
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we were just outside the room where we needed to put the coin into and Vyth almost got skewered by the tree in response, but didn't at the last second

>Now, we're still stuck down in the dungeon and we're no closer to figuring out how to do what we need to
>With that out of the way, we decide our best option would probably be to find shroombro so he can help us out
>We get to looking around and eventually find a bunch more of the crazy ass elf corpses fighting a fuckoff pile of gnomes with thoqquas and the tree thingies forming a moshpit around them
>We decide we'd rather not get involved with this clusterfuck, but Vyth gets contacted by one of the preachers
>She asks us what in the fuck we're doing here, upon which all of us but Vyth opt to not get involved, but we're dragged into it as soon as we learn that the priest will help us if we prove we aren't hostile
>We throw some spells into the enemy gnomes who have three particularly disgusting guys with edgy names that I don't remember, so I'll just call them Khorne, Tzeentch, and Nurgle due to their respective attributes
>One's fat and disgusting, one's angry and on fire, and the last one's an anorexic goblin (if I remember correctly, at least)
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
>Luckily for us, this was enough and we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
>Said journey is by no means easy though, as we're first ambushed by skeletons (not particularly hard, but we're out of healing and low on spells so it could've gotten rocky)
>Speaking of getting rocky, we then get ambushed by a few more of those gem-eating bugs and are forced to fight on both sides!
>During this fight, I, in my unlimited knowledge and wisdom, almost end up just throwing in the towel because I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
>Anyway, the bugs are killed and we end up hearing some laughing from nearby
>Some Jevil-looking motherfucker popped out of thin air and started to laugh at us before realizing we could see him and then hid behind a nearby root
>We decide to confront him and find that he's some kind of undead made from a bard or other performer with some kind of unfinished business that can only be gotten rid of by beating him in a battle of wits and then forcing his ultimate purpose upon him, and he's likely made from one or more of the gnomes we killed for various reasons
>We name him chucklefuck
>Anyway, Kisara being the prideful lizard she is, she starts hammering him with questions to try to find one that he doesn't know but she does, while Vyth takes the complete different approach and instead decides to turn his own existence against him by laughing at him for being dead
>We manage to pester him into leaving us alone for the day (supposedly), but after Kisara has her words changed into something completely different as they leave her mouth, we find that he's not truly gone
>Well, at least chucklefuck isn't a physical threat...
>Anyway, Vyth then has to get the preacher's attention since it's doing something with some kind of tree spirit, and he almost gets killed by it but is rescued by Akara at the last moment
>We do eventually get the elf's attention and continue going though, so that's good
>Next up, we find a room full of scarred and charred mushrooms!
>Clearly the work of the chaos gnomes, and also all the more upsetting as failing a fortitude save shows us that it's the collective colony of myconids that lived here!
>All that remains is a little puffball sheltering under a corpse, so we go to get him out and preserve at least one of this population
>No one deserves such a callous genocide, and with the perpetrators being gnomish, at least Kisara can't help but see parallels to her own existence
>Unfortunately, said corpse the little guy was stuck under was full of rotgrubs!
>We all get the fuck out and a skeleton pulls Mini Shroombro out from under the pile as we leave the room, but the grubs aren't done with us yet!
>Kisara throws a lightning bolt at the tide of nasties, vaporizing a fair few, but there are way more where that came from
>We're forced to think not just on our feet, but on both the back foot and our toes at the same time
>We use resources that we barely knew we had in unexpected ways, and even that's not enough entirely as Akara almost succumbs to a rotgrub infestation and flat-out dies, but Vyth's player strikes a faustian bargain with our DM for three session recaps in exchange for an action point reroll in advance
>He accepts the deal, seeing as how we were even out of those and I couldn't help or transfer my final point for this roll and we didn't want to lose our best (and only) melee attacker/meat wall
>The dice are rolled, and Akara lives!
>The swarm is also dealt with after this, with the skeletons carrying us through their remaining presence since apparently even killing them doesn't quite kill them or something
>But now, without any further issues, we continue on to the final goal of our time in this hellhole
>The elf finishes leading us back to the treasury and claims the blade that we stole from the other faggoty elf that we killed last time we were down here and uses it to cut open the doors, meaning we're now able to do what we need to!
>Mini Shroombro and the priest are still saying things about a sacrifice, so we have to figure out how we have goat blood and red fruits on us, but it turns out to all be an elaborate mistranslation for strawberries and cream, something that Yusdrayl had been hoarding ever since the village
>Anyway, Kisara bullshits the jug off her and Vyth conducts a ritual with it, leading to him getting something referred to as the "heart of the lady"
Kisara's Player
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>Said heart is a pulsating woodball that we get no other instructions for other than what boiled down to "take this and run"
>The preacher then ditches us, leaving us without any other companions...
>...Besides one friend-shaped mushroom with no job and soon no home
>That is, if we weren't generous enough to take him with us!
>That's right, Shroombro's part of the gang!
>We manage to take our two very important claims with us out of the dungeon rather unmolested as well, leaving the way we came in since dealing with that burrowroot would've been suicide
>After that, it's a relatively uneventful walk back to camp through the forest we came there through, with Kisara holding her emotional support mushroom like Misty held Togepi in the pokemon anime
>Once we get back though, we find that time skipped again while we were down in the temple
>Eh, it's more normal now
>That, and at this point Ukri should know to hold position until we're back at camp since we've managed to come back from otherwise suicidal odds this many times so far
>After this, Vyth finally drops the news that Yusdrayl's pregnant
>She reacts positively to this news, and Kisara does so as well until it's just her and Vyth, upon which she expresses her sympathy towards him for this
>After that, everyone passes out and the session ends after a massively productive 8 hours!

A good session! We're finally done with this weird subquest and have managed to navigate one of the many apocalypses that this world will undergo, and we also got another friend out of it all! We also got chucklefuck, but again, at least he's not a physical threat. Anyway, next session the Neo-Spawncampers hit the road again and seek out a new home and likely a new tribe to absorb/absorb into! Onwards to the next tribe, untill all are one and the true fuckening can begin!
Also expect a picture of Kisara and Mini Shroombro at some point because I find the idea too cute to not put to paper
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
They set off AoEs targeting everyone in the room, and then escaped underground when their ally appeared and told them something.
You do not know their names.
>we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
Effectively. The Preacher's curse caused it to mistake you for one of its followers, believing you had an offering for The Lady.
>I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
Eh, perhaps I could have described the situation more clearly.
>popped out of thin air
His invisibility was exposed by the beetle's Glitterdust.
Kisara's Player
And here's the picture, complete with both kobold and depressed mushroom!
Myconid massacre
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I was trapped underground again in what I was sure would be my death. How does this keep happening to me? We couldn't go back with the burrowroot in the way, and we couldn't go into the shrine because it covered in a meat grinder of vines and thorns. Theoretically I could disarm it, but I had a feeling my luck was starting to run out. Any other day I'd have gladly given my life to try and save everyone else, but now I had other things to think about. Well, there was one other path we hadn't taken, and that would be going to the tree. so we went towards the tree. Squeezing through the overgrown branches and vines we could hear the sounds of fighting up ahead.

Crawling to investigate we found a large group of gnomes and spriggans and animals fighting against a smaller group of elves and twig blights. Leading the gnomish side was a group of three spriggans, each of them seemed immensely powerful. They weren't really fighting, they were showing off. We were no match for them in our current shape.

I decided to try asking one of the elves how to disable the thorny meat grinder using message, but she didn't seem very trusting of us. For a second Yusdrayl seemed angry that I could cast message, like she thought she owned the spell or something, then she decided to cast it herself to help me in pursuading the elf. To help prove that we weren't helping the gnomes, I gladly cast gnome blight into the group of spriggans and Kisara, following my lead, shot a few lightning spells, missing them completely and instead only hitting a few twig blights. This attracted their attention. We retreated a bit and hid behind some cover.

Then, what looked like a cross between a spriggan and a golem burrowed up from underground, and brought what looked like 30 gnomes with it. A moment later we were all It hit with a very powerful fire spell. It almost killed us and we ran back into the cover of vines and branches. I used the last of my useful healing spells to keep everyone alive, but we were all still half dead.

Yusdrayl and I spent a few moments trying to get one of the surviving elves to help us, and eventually one did. Well, at least I think it was an elf, or a shadow of one. Whatever it was, it was terrifying to be around. Sometimes, for a moment, the elf would turn into... something else. Sometimes bark covered flesh, sometimes something with far too many eyes seemingly staring into my soul. Regardless to say it was creepy. The elf led us back to it's study and offered us, or more specifically me, some tea. With some help, I managed to convince it that we were in a hurry. It seemed to accept this and led us through the dungeon to shrine room.

We were ambushed by skeletons, and one rebuke undead later I was in control of them. They helped when we were attacked by a group of gem scarabs, with one of them being much larger than the rest. They weren't really that hard even with us being heavily wounded. However, during the fighting I noticed something. Something that I ignored to make sure Yusdrayl was alright. But then it started laughing at us. We traded insults for a bit, but I eventually convinced it to leave us alone temporarily so we might actually survive this. While this is all going on the elf was staring off into nothingness in a room off to the side. The only thing in the room is a large tree, so I approached the elf and the tree smacked me. Hard enough to kill me, but thankfully I still had a single spell I could use to just barely keep me alive.

The elf finally snapped out of it and led us to a room to the south. It was filled with charred and broken myconid corpses, with only one survivor. It was a tiny thing trapped under a much larger corpse. Akara and I try to free it, and for our trouble we're attacked by rot grubs. We retreat and I use one of my last spells and to sicken all of us, including the rot grubs. It was too late, and Akara was infested. He would die, but using a bit more luck than I had I managed to rip out the grub burrowing underneath his scales, pull it out, and smash it underneath my foot.

After killing the swarm the elf finally pulls it's head out of it's ass and leads us to where we needed to go in the first place. The elf just walks towards the door and the vines surrounding it disappear. We enter and are expected to make a sacrifice. A crimson fruit and 'blood' of a goat. We didn't think we had any of those. Turns out 'blood' part is really just a bit of a difference in dialect, and actually meant 'essence' and someone has been eating strawberries in cream this entire time. Yusdrayl. I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.

Anyway, I did the ritual written in stone around the altar and walked into a stone. Very soon after I was violently kicked out of it with a large wooden seed in my arms. I ignored how it was pulsating and seemingly speaking to me inside my mind and shoved it in my pack. The elf was gone, and Kisara had taken possession of the myconid. We left the way we came in, through the front door. The shadow dragon thing that had been blocking it had left and we quickly scurried out of there. Kisara used a patch from her cloak to get us a ladder to climb the collapsed stairs and Akara climbed the cliff with a troll gut rope and tied it down so the rest of us could climb up and out of that damned place.

We were on guard the rest of the way back to camp. Thankfully nothing tried to kill us as we walked back. We had been gone for four days even though we only spent a few hours there. It wasn't entirely unexpected as the whole place was a temple dedicated to Chronepsis sometime in the past. I was glad to be back and immediately grabbed Yusdrayl for some nose to nose cuddling. I also told her she's pregnant. I fell asleep soon after.
That's a Dune's worm.
It's my sad attempt at drawing a rotgrub leaping at the viewer.
>I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.
Unironically yes, but also because I had initially intended to require you guys to perform a series of quests to discover the sacrifice components, but as I spotted that you'd entirely forgotten it early on, I figured it would be unfun to reveal it later.
Oakhurst was one of three locations where the sacrificial ingredients could be gathered. Optionally, you could have raided a nearby farm, or gathered the fruit from where it grew on a mountain. Offering an incorrect sacrifice could have been ironic and frightening with the right set-up, but only if you knew about it in the first place.
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Highlights from this week's session:

I needed more information on this "seed" I was given. It was magical and evil, I knew that much, but beyond that nobody had any idea what it was. I grabbed Kisara and temporarily rescued Akara from being bullied and set off to go ask my best friend in the whole world that's also an oread, Silitdiwerverthicha, about this seed.

We were ambushed by a couple of demons and a spriggan who had evidently summoned them. It was an easy fight, and we even came across a caravan of gnomes that had been ambushed too. We quickly killed any survivors and got to looting the remains. Unfortunately the sound of fighting had attracted a group of gnome illusionists and their force golem escort.

After a short scuffle with the gnomes Kisara cast Mass Invisibility and we all ran off, but they somehow followed us. I hit the gnomes with gnome blight while Kisara and Akara waited in ambush. As the golem approached me and I created a simulacrum of myself to confuse it. I cast Spiritual Weapon and had it attack the golem while Kisara pelted it with magic missiles. It was the only casualty of this battle as the gnomes took this opportunity to run away.

We had finally made it to Silitdiwerverthicha's stone. She didn't seem like she wanted to be disturbed, but after some convincing she finally came out to see us. Not that I needed a reason to come see my best friend, but we did have one. After a bit of explaining and she helpfully informed us that the seed could start growing at any time, and that we should take it as far away from her as possible. As an afterthought I asked her what I can do to free her from her stone in the forest and get her back to a mountain that would truly compare to her beauty.

But then there was the bitch, the fucking Dryad bitch that laughed at MY best friend. After some choice comments about how she's not guarding the forest she threw a spriggan head at me and disappeared. She even chased Silitdiwerverthicha back into her rock. What a cunt.

While I would've loved to spend all day speaking to my best friend, she didn't want to be bothered anymore so we left and headed back to the tribe. Thankfully, nothing decided to try attacking us on our way back. Kisara took Akara off to talk about something weird while I went to the meditation circle.

Yusdrayl was there, but I knew better than to interrupt someone while they're meditating. Apparently she didn't, as soon after I sat down she started bothering me about what I was doing that morning and what I was planning to do later and whatever else came to her mind. After being subtle didn't work, I told her to leave me alone for a bit and well, at least she stopped talking. Not that it really helped as I could still faintly hear Akara screaming for help. He'll get over it.

After that we came up with some plans on what to do now. We heard of three other kobold tribes in the area, one led by a madman, one near a big geode, and one much further away in the Emerald Forest. We decided that we should take the our now homeless tribe and try our luck at the geode.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just made it home from the temple and were getting preparations ready to pack up camp and head out again for the next tribe to integrate

>This time, we have some last business to get to before we completely leave the area
>In particular, we need to ask our oread friend about the seed and I need to see how best to keep a myconid happy and healthy
>Vyth and Kisara both meet up and discuss this and then decide that Akara would be useful in translating again, so we go try to find him
>When we do so, we find him in the middle of a crowd of warriors as he's raped by the chief torturer for the umpteenth time
>Sadly, we're having a harder time getting him some respect (unlike meepo, who's gotten notably higher on the totem pole thanks to his summoned shotgun being a kickass weapon)
>Probably because he still acts like a dwarf when he thinks nobody's looking
>Anyway, we drag him out of the raping and start the walk out to the oread's rock after Kisara leaves Mini Shroombro in the hands of the biggest warrior she could still beat 1v1 for protection
>While we're out, we end up finding a pair of red orcs that cause my neurons to activate
>Unfortunately, they're demons and I have now learned the hard way that demons are immune to lightning
>The spriggans on said demons' backs aren't though
>The martials kill the demons soon enough though, and we're able to continue on and find out where they came from, given they came from the direction we're heading
>A caravan of gnomes, dead and or dying, lay strewn about before us
>Vyth grabs one of the dying and tries to interrogate them about the oread's rock, not knowing that we're still a ways off
>Kisara corrects this issue by killing said gnome while Akara stands around until a certain presence arrives
>Said presence being some more gnomes and a force golem
>One of those gnomes happens to be a mage, and an illusionist at that
>He traps us in a ring of spectral assholes, but we all escape out after dealing some chip damage to him and the golem under the cover of mass invisibility
>This lets us get closer to the rock, but unfortunately we're tracked down and we have to lay an ambush for them or risk getting our asses kicked again
>Kisara hides behind a tree, Vyth creates a double with incredible efficiency and accuracy, leaving himself completely free to do whatever he wants as the golem tries to kill the fake kobold
>He makes a spiritual weapon, and Kisara sits behind the tree and launches volley after volley of magic missiles into the golem and the illusionist
>Even after the illusionist blinds and reveals Kisara with a glitterbomb, she continues pelting them both thanks to the missiles having perfect accuracy
>Anyway, Vyth hacks apart the golem while Kisara blows up the pieces and pesters the wizard until the golem's dead and the wizard decides to cut his losses
>Yay, we're now free to do what we need to here!
>The three of us together pester the oread into appearing, with Vyth casting tongues to allow himself to talk in her native languages, Akara speaks in their shared dwarven, and Kisara just talks normally because apparently the oread picked up draconic in anticipation of dealing with more kobolds or something
>Vyth leads off by showing her the seed, upon which she tactically shits herself before telling us that she doesn't actually know anything about it but still wants it the hell away from her
>Kisara then asks about how to raise a myconid, and she tells me what I anticipated: keep it dark, and keep it moist
>Duly noted, hopefully a sack with some dampened leaflitter will suffice for our travel, because otherwise I got nothing
>Akara doesn't ask anything this time, but oh well
>Also, some pissbaby dryad shows up and bullies the oread for a while with Vyth berating it while Kisara threatens to make Smoky the Bear cry by holding a charge of scorching ray in the middle of a forest for intimidation
>Unfortunately, this doesn't work
>The dryad eventually fucks off though, so for one last question, Vyth asks if there's a way for us to free the oread from her rock and allow her to claim another mountain
>She's caught offguard by the question, but is nonetheless receptive to it and tells us that she'll think about it
>With that though, we return to camp and Vyth fucks off to a meditation circle while Kisara decides now would be the right time to play a sick nasty epic prank on the chief torturer, of course using Akara as her delivery device
>He's initially adamant that he doesn't want Kisara casting any spells on him, but after she explains that the spell is just a small shock trap that won't hurt him, he remains adamant about wanting no part of this
>Aw, really?
>Well, suit yourself!
>Kisara then leaves Akara to his fate, his screaming and dwarven cursing echoing through the camp with the only response that wasn't laughing or jeering being "You could've accepted my help!"
>Kisara then meets back up with Vyth after he finishes meditating and she finishes reclaiming Shroombro (with a little violence, just to keep the fear of Kurtulmak in those she decides to have help her), and they discuss ways to get Akara to stop being the butt of every raping, and our OOC conclusion is that we should try to bring him into the clergy for a bit of deprogramming and maybe even some mental toughening
>That would require us to get the permission of the chief warrior though, who happens to be the chief torturer...
>Well, maybe we can petition Ukri for Akara's transfer and use some fancy wording to get him to endorse it?
>Idk, that's just my idea

Anyway, the session officially ended with Akara getting raped again, so the rest of it was just ooc discussion that I turned into some minor fluff. Anyway, the next session is in a few hours, and I'm only hurting myself by staying up this late! See you all then, and I'm going to resist the urge to shoot myself or something, life is pain
Highlights from today's session:
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>Where we last left off, we had just gotten back to camp from asking the oread some questions and getting some answers

>Now, we're doing some last preparations before we leave the area
>Vyth takes care of some politics determining the actual when/where/how we're going with Ukri and the other local big shots, and the answers are tomorrow, to the madbold's tribe, and by plains
>After that, we go to check on mini shroombro again to make sure that that one warrior is keeping up his end of the bargain
>As it turns out, mini shroombro isn't so mini anymore!
>He grew considerably, now being equal in size to Kisara!
>I'm a little sad that my mushroom buddy only stayed with us for around 2 sessions, but he's got his own little mushroom garden going now and he's got some parting words for us
>He thanks us for saving him and gives us some mushrooms, three each for general wellness and one more each in case we need help
>We ask where he's going now that we're parting ways again so soon, but all he says is that he's going to meet the (chief myconid, I forgot the exact term used) now that he's on his own
>Kisara then ends this goodbye with a hug to her favorite mushroom, leaving the growing puffball to his journey
>With that, the session cuts ahead to our own journey to the next tribe!
>Our first day traveling the plains was rather uneventful, with us taking the point for scouting purposes with the rest of the tribe following behind, all the way through camping when the time for rest came
>The second day is also rather uneventful, but when resting time comes we are rudely interrupted by a bunch of angry blue fuckers
>I briefly have flashbacks to the gambols in RHoD, anticipating an incredibly hard fight ahead
>I wasn't too far off the mark about the hard fight, but instead of lion monkeys spamming fear auras it's a bunch of cronenberg centaurs that hate anything arcane!
>They surround the tribe and we roll initiative, those big fuckers proving to be quite the challenge even for well over 100 kobolds working together
>Fighting in the open sucks
>They start up autistic screeching for some reason, and it somehow knocks down most of the low-level kobolds, giving me a free shot at one of the bastards charging me down
>Kisara throws an unavoidable 26-damage lightning bolt at it, but the fucker doesn't even slow down!
>Yusdrayl also does what she can to hurt it, but it just keeps coming until it finally catches us, picks us both up, and screams at us about being mages in broken common
>Also, there's a magical storm going on right now, so that's important soon
>Starting now actually, as the storm strikes the bastard currently holding Kisara and Yusdrayl, causing us both to take damage as well as him
>He's unfazed, but I'm running on fumes
>At least he only deals more than my entire health pool in nonlethal damage, meaning I'm just choked out instead of choked to death
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
>Well, not technically a dragon, which we learn after Vyth finishes picking up Kisara to get her to try to make heads or tails of it
>Turns out it's an incredibly powerful entity known as the Serpent, an arcane being with unfathomable knowledge of magic and incredible power to share
>Kisara immediately sees a handy means to her ends, and calls out to it while Vyth continues helping out the downed kobolds and bringing all those not turned to chunky salsa back from the brink of death
>The Serpent's eye shifts, alighting on Kisara as she immediately fails a will save to get sent on a Dr. Strange-esque trip across the cosmos from inside her own mind, but makes another will save to understand that this is something born of her dragon heritage and not just her gaining the Serpent's attention
>Said trip ends with her floating adrift in the deep cosmos, looking onward as an immense dragon forms itself from the stars themselves before imprinting one statement onto the infinitely smaller kobold's mind
>Kisara then snaps out of the vision and the apparent seizure she'd been having, looking up at the fading form of the Serpent as it disappears to its next destination and cries out in desperation "But how do I find the stone circle!? Please, tell me!"
>The Serpent remains silent, its words continuing to echo through Kisara's head as she wracks her mind to find a solution to this puzzle with only one piece
>She asks around to the other kobolds who were given visions and finds nothing, but Vyth has more luck from checking his schizo book!
>As it turns out, there's a myth about Kurtulmak stealing sorcery from the Serpent for koboldkind, but nothing directly mentioned about the stone circle or where it is/how to get to it
>With that, Vyth makes the executive decision to have us doubletime it through the plains to get to our next stop on the trip, a forest
>We then rest in a cave on the border between the two, and that's it for the session

All in all, a good time! I like that Kisara's finding new ways to potentially expand her power, and I like that I'm getting close to level 6! The session itself was also fun, and I enjoyed the RP that came with it and also learning about this new force to keep in mind ||and I may have also seeded an idea in the DM's mind about how to handle Kisara being apprenticed to The Serpent, given how its last apprentice was Vecna (yes, that Vecna) and it still hasn't been able to collect on that necromantic nerd's soul yet after millennia...|| But, that's for time to tell! I'll see you all next week, and I hope to find more knowledge about my quest to obtain more and more power soon enough! Until next time!

Kisara's Player
>fail spoiler
>missing name
I'm an idiot. A tired idiot, but an idiot nonetheless
Kavern Master
Me, researching every ape-like monster in 3.5e, so that I can further traumatize Kisara's player
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
Only partly true. The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything, but galloping away in utter terror. Although he was strong enough to lay waste to the entire tribe by himself, he was scared shitless by the appearance of The Serpent. Although dimwitted and primitive creatures, the quaraphons called The Serpent by it's ancient Ur'Flan name as they fled.
Kisara's Player
>The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything
I didn't say he was dodging anything, I said he was getting the fuck out of dodge (AKA running away as if his life depended on it)

Off we went to find a new home. Before we left, we had to choose which path to take. After some divination magic and a vision of blue horses and a giant serpent, I determined we should go through the plains. This may not have been the safest decision, but it was one of the faster paths, taking a week rather than spending a month or two traveling.

We left after a few days. Kisara, Zags, Akara and I were scouting ahead of the main group. Everything was good for the first few days, but then we came across a series of gashes in the earth, as if something had tunneled out, killed something, then tunneled back into it. Some divination later and I'm certain that going forward would lead to our deaths and changing course would only be dangerous, so we change course to the east and continue on.

When darkness fell, we could tell something was wrong. I cast clairvoyance directly behind us just outside the range of my darkvision and saw... something. It was a blue four legged two armed... something. I couldn't get a good look at it, but I knew we were being hunted. Together we moved back to the main group. Thankfully we weren't attacked when outside the protection of the circle of spears.

Not that we had much chance to rest. There was a magic storm above when they attacked. I got a better look at them and they sure were some ugly fuckers. It seemed as if their eyes were placed randomly on their faces and they had a few too many mouths. We took a few casualties but we managed to fight them off, with only one of them roaring and putting 30 kobolds to sleep. The storm was getting worse. Yusdrayl saved us by dispelling the the strikes of the storm. We managed to kill 3 of those things when the largest among them leaped into the center of our circle. It was much more powerful than any of us. It could've killed us all, and put several kobolds to sleep with a roar, but soon after it arrived it ran away because the serpent appeared.

It appeared from the storm. While I was tending to the wounded, some koboldss tried speaking to it and immediately fell unconscious and started convulsing. Thankfully they all regained their senses within a few minutes. They all claimed to have a shared hallucination of being welcomed to a stone circle. Then as quickly as it appeared the serpent disappeared.

Many kobolds didn't survive the trip. It's my fault, as I saw the vision and decided we should go on this path anyway. I was able to save some of the more injured kobolds, but that's a small consolation for the lives I ended.

Fearing another attack from the blue things I encouraged the tribe to march without rest until we reached the end of the plains. We probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have another giant magic serpent appear from the sky to scare them away.

After another day or two of travel we finally reached the end of the plains. We found a small cave hidden away, barely big enough for all of us. We'd stay here while everyone rests. Yusdrayl seemed to be suffering from internal hemorrhaging and kobold hypothermia as a direct result. I used many spells to keep her alive. No kobold would lie about needing medical attention, would they?
>putting 30 kobolds to sleep
Correction: it didn't put them to sleep, it knocked them out with sonic damage.
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Highlights from today's session:
(don't worry; they survived, barely)
Kisara's Player
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Okay, so it's been a fat while since I've posted here. In that time, we've almost died after wandering into a dwarven nuclear dumping site, we snuck into a bar and got hammered while learning of some quest hooks, and then we rescued some halflings from our weasels after the little shits broke free and decided to do their own thing while we were getting hammered. Meanwhile, IRL I have no real excuse for forgetting to do this shit, I just legitimately forgot for a while. Anyway...

>Where we last left off, all that shit above!

>This time, we've gotten back to camp and Kisara's still a little smashed from her time at the bar, one of the weasels is still snacking on a halfling corpse, and the rest of us are fine
>Anyway, we go to report on our findings to Ukri and how there's a kobold tribe nearby that we can talk to and potentially integrate, as well as getting free booze from the bar we visited and a bunch of money from a silver skeleton we can potentially trade in for stuff
>All of this is interrupted though when a holy Aztec turducken pops in out of nowhere, presumably from one of the halflings that we let so mercifully live after all that!
>Looks like we won't make that same mistake again...
>Anyway, all of us get together to face this thing down and Vyth tries to be charitable and negotiate with it, but it chooses violence and attacks Kisara for making a comment and trying to explain our side of things better (but she was still drunk, and it came out more rude than she expected lol)
>The bird then picks her up and ragdolls her through a grapple attack while everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
>The turducken puts up a good fight through its first stage, even swallowing Kisara and causing her to have to accept her fate again, except Akara ends up coming to her rescue yet again (he was the one responsible for saving us from the TPK in the nuclear dump), imprinting him even more onto her mind than he already was
>This totally won't become a thing, will it?
>Time will tell
>Anyway, the turkey is eviscerated and the duck is up next, with the wounded Kisara fleeing to the safety of the warrior line while everyone else continues the fight
>The duck doesn't like this though and chases down the fleeing kobold until it's once again struck down by Akara, leaving only the chicken to be butchered
>With the mandatory holiday bossfight over, we get in a rest and Yusdrayl finally lays the eggs she's been carrying
>With those matters settled, we head out to go find that new tribe with the advance party of Vyth, Yusdrayl, Kisara, Meepo, Akara, and Snogla (the chief torturer of the tribe)!
>Kisara also levels up, and I handle all the numbers of that before working out the actual matters of new spells and whatnot
>We start climbing the mountain nearby that houses these kobolds, and we eventually come across some giant planar rock crabs that try to bury us under mudslides
>We don't let them, and I make the embarrassing discovery that scintillating sphere is a much higher level spell than I thought it was...
>The crabs do go down though, thanks to our efforts as well as Vyth summoning an ogre zombie to block rocks and drag us through the mud
>Akara gets swept away in the mud though, which has everybody panicking and also gives me an opportunity to choose a new spell exactly for this situation!
>The spell lets me search a 30ft. cube for things, including people, and with its help and the help of Yusdrayl blowing some levitate spells, we're able to find Akara and save him from a muddy fate!
>Anyway, we continue up the mountain and eventually come across a promising area
>Unfortunately, before we can investigate further, we're ambushed by a pair of mountain drakes (I think?)
>Anyway, one of them chunks Vyth and the other chunks Akara, and Yusdrayl and Meepo go to Vyth's rescue while Kisara and Snogla go to Akara's
>It turns out that these things are intelligent and can be reasoned with though, so Vyth trades away the corpse of the rock crab for safe passage
>They accept, and they take the crab and feed it to their young waiting nearby while we advance forward
>Of course, after heals were applied to make sure we're equipped for what may lie ahead
>And that's where the session ended

Quite a fun session, if a bit worrying because Kisara almost died again despite my best efforts... Although it is opening up new avenues of potential RP for her due to Akara being the one to save her ass twice now, but I'm still not entirely sure what direction I'd want to take that (either some form of romance or a possessive dependence, I'm not sure which would be better and/or more fun). Either way though, it seems that this ambitious mage is now at odds with the tribe's head martial for the attention of a kobold that thinks himself a dwarf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
Kisara's Player
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>Where we left off, we were just a short distance from the place we needed to be and the session ended with us somewhere near the bar

>Now, we're at the bar and we see a group of adventurers chilling near the door
>Simple enough to avoid, just move quietly and stay hidden
>...Except some of us decided that it would be a good idea to dig through the local trash, and we had to hold back a certain toad-shaped kobold from going and giving us away in the dumbest way possible
>Said stupid decision still manages to alert someone to our presence, but those who are alerted are a pair of kobolds already occupying the trash pile
>These kobolds are scrawny and emaciated but otherwise healthy, contrary to us being stout and strong despite being covered in mud/blood
>We get a dialogue going, and it turns out that these guys are from the tribe in the well and after Vyth shares some of our rations with them, we're allowed to follow them in
>When we get in, there's a severely drained lake at the bottom of this well and a few kobolds on the far shore trying to fish from it
>Also, the only way further in from the well is to go across on a tiny boat that only fits its driver and one passenger
>This is stupid slow, so I start brainstorming faster ways across and settle on making my newest level 2 spell the levitate spell
>Said ingenuity is then punished when, as Kisara tries to cross the lake, she gets grabbed by two chokers that were hiding in the water
>She gets dragged under and nearly dies again through a combat encounter that was mostly just struggling to escape on my end, and Akara comes to her rescue yet again
>While down there, we also get told that the bottom of the lake is littered with bones, many of which look like kobold bones
>This fight ends without Kisara actually dying, which is good
>We then take a hot second to regroup and heal up the two kobolds who entered the water, with Kisara then attempting her journey across the lake again
>It was 35 feet across, one set of two humanoid monsters should be plenty of fight to put in a place like this, especially when it's very easy for said monsters to abuse one of 3.5's most busted mechanics to kill us quickly, right?
>Wrong, round fucking 2!
>Two more grab both Kisara and Akara, and it's up to Vyth to help drag us out of the water with the NPCs providing limited help
>Kisara actually starts making death saves at this point, and I start brainstorming how to make the most overpowered character I can to make sure nothing like this happens again, but luckily this isn't the time for that to happen yet
>The monsters are killed and we swim to the far shore without incurring the wrath of the third (third!) set of these fucking things, and we then start talking with the kobolds there (after everybody's given the bare minimum of healing as Vyth's already out of healing spells, fucking hell)
>Turns out that this lake is their only food source and the chokers in there are the brilliant idea of some trapmaker, someone who undoubtedly isn't nearly as brilliant as everyone seems to think
>We also find another schizo journal with a small detour, this one belonging to this tribe's leader, that does all sorts of shit to sing praise towards aberrations and whatnot
>This must be the tribe of the mad kobold listed in Wivai's journal
>Fun, now we're adopted into some lovecraft-esque plot revolving around a kobold fishing town and their leader gone mad!
>That's not even a sarcastic fun, I'm looking forward to learning more about this all
>Anyway, some other information is gleaned from Akara talking to some dwarven statues nearby (as this place used to be a dwarven reservoir), and learning that the silver skeleton, one of our objectives here, is actually nearby
>Some of the kobolds also tell us that they think it's responsible for the drought and food shortage, but I put forth the idea that the well's use by the inn alongside the kobolds' exploitation may be responsible for the drained water level while the chokers within were responsible for the waning number of fish within the lake
>My idea is swept under the rug though, probably to maintain intrigue for the actual plot the DM has in mind
>After this, the actual session ends with us deciding to go talk to the chieftain here before doing anything else
>However, there's some text-based RP afterwards involving some more information harvesting from the kobolds with us, Yusdrayl being a spoiled brat and begging Vyth to carry her since Akara was forced to carry Snogla after Kisara decided to lean on him for support and the self-appointed princess getting pissy that she wasn't getting attention
>The Kisara-Akara-Snogla subplot evolves into an argument, and said argument results in Kisara being knocked out by Snogla to nobody's surprise or enjoyment

Now, onto my thoughts on the session in general: I'm not happy about the large pile of chokers, one set was enough, the second was excessive and even the potential for a third was entirely unnecessary IMO. Grappling is very strong, and I've already made my thoughts on anything that limits the players' ability to effectively fight back known in a prior post regarding a certain dragon fight, so I won't go back into my ramblings again. That's my only real grievance though, the rest was all fun and cool and I'm looking forward to settling this newfound rivalry between the tribe's best warrior and the tribe's best mage, and I know for a fact that Kisara is absolutely going to find a way to get back at Snogla for this newest wound to her pride. Maybe if a certain persistent ghost is still around somewhere and wasn't just a one-and-done like was implied, that could be helpful? What I'm suggesting is the return of Chucklefuck at some point, he seemed like he would've been a fun NPC to interact with. Anyway, next session is when things unfold further, and I look forward to seeing it! Until then!
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, Kisara was out cold and I was plotting my next move to gain a monopoly on Akara while the party in general were moving to talk with Chief Blas of this tribe

>Kisara is reawakened, and we finally make it to the throne room where Blas is located
>Blas is definitely a well-fed kobold, but not to a degree that he's eating the tribe's food supply
>Anyway, the introduction goes smoothly with Kisara and Vyth doing most of the talking while Yusdrayl butts in to inflate her own ego
>Blas seems to be acting a bit weird though, as his eyes tend to unfocus and stare off randomly at times
>We get through the introductions well enough though, we explain why we're there, who we are, where we're from, and all that
>The introductions end a bit suddenly though when we mention something that trips something in his distracted mind, causing him to space out again and then tell us to go talk to Trapmaster Yin
>Finally, time to air out my grievances with this bastard!
>We go off through the dungeon to meet this guy, first going through a door that was supposed to turn us into kobolds!
>Oh no! Anyway...
>We keep moving into the kitchen area where some kobold chefs are making sushi with rotten fish and maggots, and Yusdrayl stops to eat some for some odd reason
>The rest of us move forward though and find a monster in the trash!
>It's dispatched within a round though thanks to a lucky crit, and it retreats back into the trash pile to lick its wounds
>Up next is a door shaped to look like a beholder, and there's a puzzle associated with it
>Something something number of eyes is the key
>Vyth's player and I both come to the conclusion that the answer is the number 11, so Kisara says that out loud
>Nothing happens though, and we're completely stumped
>Vyth then approaches the door to see if we weren't in detection range, but when he gets close he's hit by a beholder eye ray and... something happens
>I don't quite remember, but that makes us all just stay away from the door and, seeing as how we're not playing along, the DM throws us a bone
>Turns out the puzzle requires 11 separate gems to open, and we have just a few gems in total, all functioning as money
>That's not gonna work, and since he also knows that A) we're not going to really bother with looking for them since they're scattered around the area and guarded by more monsters that we've already fought and disliked fighting, and B) Yusdrayl holds on to all sorts of shinies like that for fun, he just handwaves the puzzle
>Just in time too, since if someone had approached the door a second time with a wrong answer they would've been hit with a disintegration beam!
>Which would've killed any of us
>Yeah, glad that got handwaved
>Anyway, we're on to the actual room that Yin's in
>When we get in there, we see a bunch of refuse around and a bunch of papers flitting around in a dust devil
>Also, there's a platform really high up that we assume Yin's on
>Vyth calls up to him to come down since we've been told to talk with him, but we get no answer
>We also notice a ticking sound start up, and upon closer inspection it seems to be coming from some clockwork construct on the other side of the room
>We collectively decide to get the fuck out of dodge at this point, and right before we do so Vyth plants a scrying sensor in the room
>We return to Blas and report that we didn't talk to Yin, but we'll try again after we're allowed a rest
>During that rest, we learn that the mechanical ticking was caused by a clockwork tarrasque
>Said clockwork tarrasque also got in a fight with the dust devil, which turned out to be a sentient spell, but we aren't informed of the winner
>Also, what we assume to be Yin is a veiled kobold-shaped corpse with a silver mindflayer mask
>We then take that rest actually, and when we're properly refreshed, we go back to take care of things
>We head back to Yin's room and decide to grapple our way up to the platform, but the dust devil comes back changed
>Turns out the two didn't actually fight so much as fuse, and now the sentient spell can attack like the clockwork tarrasque
>So now we've got a biting tornado that can't be hurt by anything nonmagical
>Looks like Snogla's sitting out this fight
>The rest of us pull our weight fighting this thing though, and it's a decently hard fight
>We do manage to kill it though, and after that we're free to get to Yin
>He doesn't react at all when we get up there, so we detect magic and when that does nothing, call out to him
>That does nothing either, so Vyth pokes him with the butt of his spear to see if he reacts
>He doesn't, so we decide it's safe to approach him
>Turns out it wasn't, and this guy immediately reanimates and fear-auras us
>All of us but Akara is feared, and he's left to face an actual fucking mummy alone
>He doesn't fare well at all, but we're able to save him from dying by groveling hard enough to get Yin to only throw us off the platform instead of kill us all
>We then scurry back to Blas, just to tell him that Yin told us to fuck off
>He doesn't really react to this, but we do have one thing left for us to do here so we take another rest and get back some of our resources
>Now that that's over, we go off to find the silver skeleton!
>Some kobolds lead us back to the area where it's located and open the door for us, but when we're all inside it then closes on us
>Those bastards intend to sacrifice us!
>Greater men have tried to kill us and failed, we're not dying in some backwater hole today!
>The room then starts to flood with water, so Kisara and Akara start trying to break open the door, but Vyth and the others start moving forward so I'm outvoted
>We then move forward until we find a secret door which leads us to the trap's mechanism, which is defused to stop the water from rising further
>That's good at least, but now we have a hallway full of mindflayer pictures to walk through
>It's also trapped to shit though, so that's an issue
Kisara's Player
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>We do what we can to defuse the traps, but a few of them are set off and cause immobility and/or paralysis for those who are hit by them
>A pair of oozes also choose now to show up and start trying to kill us, so that's cool?
>Oh well, the oozes are definitely challenging but don't manage to kill any of us before we finish dealing with them
>We then are left alone with the silver skeleton, which starts to regenerate for some reason
>Yeah, fuck that
>Kisara grabs Akara and drags him back to the door to start getting it open again, but we stop when we hear some civilized discussion coming from where Vyth is with everyone else to go investigate
>Turns out the skeleton regenerated into Eludecia, another one of those WotC-sanctioned waifu characters that the writers try to get you hot and bothered over
>Anyway, she's a risen devil of a succubus turned paladin and was trapped in here by her last boss who had her imprisoned with those two oozes to keep her dissolved down to a skeleton but never fully kill her
>She's also very surprised that her rescue party happened to be a group of kobolds, but she's not disappointed about it
>And the session ends there!

Another fun one, though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for. Anyway, our plan for the next session is to take Eludecia back to the tavern nearby so that we can sweeten our end of the deal for negotiations regarding the kobolds' food situation, and we also plan on getting her help with killing Yin and freeing the tribe from his abhorrent influence. Whether or not that'll happen is another question entirely, but I do hope that she realizes we're trying to do the right thing and looks past our species' negative stereotypes to help us with this problem. Either way though, we'll only find out next session, so I'll see you there!
Thank you for sharing!
>sushi with rotten fish and maggots
Every Japanese kobold out there will want to Pearl Harbor you now
>clockwork tarrasque
The DnD equivalent of Metal Gear to the uninitiated
>though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for
Gelatinous Cubes are just normally immune to electricity.
Kisara's Player
I called them gelatinous cubes by accident, I was corrected into calling them oozes. They also dealt vile damage to us, so it was literally oozes with the demon template applied. I don't know what else to say.
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Highlights from some previous sessions
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just revived a paladin succubus named Eludecia and we were going out to hand her over to the inn nearby

>So, our first order of business for the session was using Eludecia as a bargaining chip to improve the standings of the kobold tribe we met here
>Eludecia polymorphs into a kobold herself to better blend in as we head to the surface
>We climb back out of the well shortly after, getting no trouble from the chokers this time
>When we get there, we hear some adventurers shouting about how the kobolds are back and that they're going to shoo us off or something
>Little do they know, we're too stupid to be shooed!
>Also we have a purpose here, but whatever
>Anyway, the adventurers show up and they're mad at us for whatever reason, but Eludecia drops the polymorph and their tune very quickly changes
>They then escort us inside, simultaneously ecstatic that Eludecia's back and flabbergasted that it was kobolds that did it
>Either way though, we're welcomed back to a hero's welcome and the entire inn is brought into a celebratory mood as adventurers line up to get her autograph and whatnot
>Meanwhile, we ask around about a few things and learn nothing too interesting before we get back to the innkeeper
>He's not too happy to have to negotiate with us about giving the kobolds food instead of beer, but we're insistent
>We do come to a deal though, with us having to go get back a pair of gauntlets for Eludecia that let her safely wield holy weapons, but to do so we need to get past Yin the mummy
>That's probably gonna kill us, so we're putting it on the back burner for now (or until we get a way to deal with Yin, which seems to be not too easy)
>We decide that it would probably be a good idea to hire one of the adventurers, specifically a cleric or paladin, to help us out, but we have no real funds to work with, sadly...
>But hey, that cloaked stranger is calling us over again!
>10,000 GP to bring back the gloves? Why, that's enough to cover the mercenary's pay and also get a pretty penny of our own!
>But this seems a bit fishy still, so we decide to question the figure on her relation to Eludecia
>The figure says she's a friend of her boyfriend, but that's still kinda sketchy since she tried to pass off a goosefeather as an angel feather when Vyth is wearing three of those alone on his helmet...
>Yeah, this is definitely suspicious, so we call over Eludecia from her mountain of simps to validate this stranger's claims
>This turns out to not have been a good idea though, as the two immediately recognize each other and the cloak comes off, revealing an enormous 6-armed lamia demon!
>The entire inn goes from business as usual to a barfight turned Armageddon as the demon summons a few piles of other demons while all the adventurers collectively roll initiative, and we're left in a situation where we're heavily outnumbered and outgunned
>So, we do what any sensible kobold would do, and get the fuck out of there!
>A few demons pursue us out, but we kill them easy enough and run all the way back to the well
>We get in and manage to pay off the chokers since we're in a hurry, and as thanks(?) they tear apart the first demon to fall into the well behind us while we run back to the tribe here
>We need to evacuate this place, Ragnarok is happening above us and even the damn mountain we're inside is shaking!
>We make it back to the tribe's living area and head inside, but the instant we do we're caught in another fear aura
>Yin's here
>Yin's here and he's got every kobold in the tribe either groveling in fear in front of him or mind-controlled to take up arms against any who aren't
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK
>We're now being surrounded by Yin's mind-controlled servants, and he wants us to stay here and wait for someone outside the area
>He's waiting for the snake bitch, isn't he?
>Well, we know that if she gets here we're dead for selling her out, but we also can't fight our way back out through the entire tribe of kobolds plus whatever nasties Yin has left for us
>Our only way out is to somehow bullshit him into letting us go
>We attempt to bribe Yin with the prospects of us all going back to the tribe we're from to bring them here too, and Kisara and Yusdrayl both get down in the most grovel-y position they can think of, and I pop my Io medallion to get an extra +4 to my already high bluff of +17 to get +21
>Even with this, the DM informs me that there's only a 5% chance that he'll actually let all of us go to do this instead of keeping one of us for collateral
>Oh well, it's do or die time!
>Specifically die time, as it's time to roll the die and see what happens
>Natural twenty for a grand total of 41 on the bluff check
>I, the person typing this, actually screamed when I saw the result
>Kisara, however, was as silent as possible when she grabbed everyone and started pushing them back out of the room as soon as Yin said "yeah, sure, I don't really care about you all anyway, just go."
>Now, all that's left to do is decide where the hell we want to leave from since this tribe's obviously beyond our help
>In fact, they may have been better off had we not actually bothered with them...
>That's not our problem anymore though, our problem is surviving this shitstorm long enough to get back to the Neo Spawncampers and leave for good
>And we decide to do so by heading through the dwarven temple nearby!

Next session, we explore the monastery and temple for a way out, and if we find it, go back to our tribe the long way to make sure there aren't any more demons on our asses! I hope we aren't as fucked as my gut says, because if we are then that'll be one hell of a shitty way to go out! Anyway, see you all on Sunday for the next installment of Kaverns and Kobolds!
>Where we last left off, we were fleeing from Yin and a very large tavern brawl in the direction of an abandoned monastery

>This time, we start off on that journey upstream after sorting out some miscommunications about where we were going and what we were doing
>Said sorting out takes us a while, but once we get going we start feeling a bit safer
>Well, until Yusdrayl decides to alter-form herself and go off ahead to scout for us, upon which we waited with bated breath for around an in-game hour until she returns some time around there
>Turns out there's a drier spot ahead that we can traverse easier without needing to levitate or use a boat, but there's shit over there that could be trouble
>However, it's around this time that we collectively realize that all the noise outside has calmed down significantly
>So, we now drag the fatigued Yusdrayl back to shore and start doing other shit while Vyth goes up the ladder under invis to see what's left
>Turns out not much
>The inn's been pretty much destroyed from all the spells going off inside it, the majority of the adventurers are dead, and both Eludecia and the horde of demons are nowhere to be found
>A little ominous, perhaps we could get more info later?
>Anyway, Vyth finishes his reconnaissance and comes back down the well, and the first thing he sees is a choker drag Snogla underwater!
>Before we go further though, I'm going to rewind back to before the party split
>Down back in the dungeon, the remaining party decides to kill time by doing miscellaneous shit
>Yusdrayl decides to complain as she always does, Akara stands around and keeps watch in case anything goes down (or just stands there and zones, I certainly wouldn't blame him for doing so), Snogla goes around and loots whatever she can from the various traps and implements in the reservoir, and Kisara looks for something useful to do
>I initially wanted to go up with Vyth, but one kobold is a lot harder to find than two, so she's stuck down in the hole with everyone else
>I look around for something to do, and with no other suggestions, Kisara gets a taunt from Snogla to disarm an aboleth trap
>I decide to try to turn her taunting around, since she's closer to the trap than Kisara, and she goes to a fairly large distance away before picking up a large rock and using Launch Item to throw it at the trap to either break the mechanism or trigger it "safely"
>This, however, doesn't work and Kisara is hit with a spell that, with metagaming knowledge, works like aboleth slime albeit much slower
>Kisara then starts to feel cold and clammy and gross, so she then gets in the water while Snogla starts to laugh at her for this completely unforeseen eventuality
>I'm not even sure why it targeted me, I was supposed to be a ways off with Snogla somewhere in between me and the device, but I guess that got lost in translation somewhere...
>Oh well, my pettiness knows no limits!
>While the stuck-up bitch is laughing, Kisara beckons over one of the chokers from the bottom of the lake and covertly tells it to drag Snogla underwater
>To sweeten the deal, I also cross Kisara's favorite pimp chalice off my item list as a bribe
>This had better work the way I want it to...
>The choker then does as I asked, but since Snogla was paying enough attention to continue laughing at Kisara, the choker doesn't get a surprise round to drag her under
>It still goes first though, and it does exactly as I asked
>Unfortunately, this is also when Vyth came back, and he leads the charge into the water to save her, followed by Akara and Yusdrayl after everybody rolls initiative
>Kisara spends the first round doing her own thing and sitting on the sidelines, but thaat changes as soon as Akara gets grappled and starts to get close to death himself
>Vyth also gets into some decent trouble, but Yusdrayl is good at helping him out
>The chokers are driven back though, and everyone is freed
>Akara gets up to the surface to breathe, Vyth is released, and everyone but Snogla is out of the fight
>Vyth doesn't accept that as good enough though, and dives back down to help her
>This gets him grabbed by another choker though, so the fight's back on!
>Akara also goes back down again, and he gets grabbed too
>Well, fuck
>It gets back around to my turn, and at this point I, the person, was trying to bargain with the DM to let me press the "fuck go back" button
>However, he does cut me a deal and lets me cast magic missile with absolute certainty that it would deal with the chokers currently fucking with us still, and that everyone in combat would drift to shore in exchange for an action point
>I take this deal, and everyone drifts back up to the beach unconscious, but just barely alive
>I'm also left pretty much to my own devices here, since Yusdrayl went from fatigued to exhausted and literally cannot stop me from doing what I want for this moment
>Kisara contemplates finishing the murder she started to get her money's worth from this encounter, and I even ask whether or not Yusdrayl's in any condition to be bargained with to potentially buy her silence
>Unfortunately though, I only have one turn before everyone has to start making fortitude saves, I'm forced to borrow Akara's healing belt and bring back Vyth so he can help me un-fuck all that has been fucked
>He immediately gets up and starts burning his hidden reserve of healing spells to fix everybody (unfortunately for my master plans), and a collective decision is made that the chokers need to go
>I end up jumping the gun on this somewhat though, almost casting scintillating sphere on the water that we're still pretty much touching and are still very wet from and only get stopped after I am informed that we aren't actually completely out of the water yet
>So then we move downstream a safe distance, and I fire off two spheres and kill basically everything in the pond without us having to get into any danger from any of these assholes

>We then wade back to the well entrance, deciding it's finally time to bid this hole and every godforsaken creature in it good riddance
>Except one choker of the eight managed to survive on one HP and it leaps out of the water to try to revenge kill the mage who just slaughtered the rest of its misbegotten kind
>Said mage happens to be me...
>We got into this hole with Kisara almost dying to a choker, time to leave this hole either dead or almost dead!
>It drags her underwater and goes for blood, immediately getting rid of half my health in that surprise round plus the round that it got at the top of initiative
>Next up is Snogla, who decides to not get in and kill the barely still living choker for some reason
>Understandable all things considered, but still not cool
>Luckily, she's still saddled with doing something to be useful as she's forced to keep the still immobile Yusdrayl from drowning while Vyth and Akara go down to deal with the problem
>I also try to help deal with the problem first so all they have to do is pull me out of the water, but unfortunately I'm not able to secure the kill despite my best efforts and wasted action points
>The monster is killed though after reducing me to below 0HP and forcing multiple fortitude saves from me and also trying to choke out Vyth, but he grabs the killing blow through all that and he makes it back up to the surface with Akara once again rescuing our little white and blue psychopath
>And now, with that over, the new priority is getting some help to reverse the aboleth slime effect so Kisara doesn't get stuck with its debilitating side effects for the rest of her life
>Luckily, of the remaining adventurers that survived, one was a winged unicorn paladin (read: DnD-sanctioned Celestia) dishing out whatever healing she could to everyone still alive, and she was able to spare a charge of remove disease to save a kobold from a horrible life and maybe even death
>From there, I found the owner of the inn and gave him my 1000gp diamond which I had planned to bribe Yusdrayl with earlier to put towards rebuilding, but turns out he was planning to leave the area anyway
>Understandable, witnessing a holy war happen within one's place of employment is a few levels over next-level fucked up
>Oh well, it's still something to make up for whatever part we may have played in the damages caused
>After that, we basically set up camp for the night and end the session there!

Another fun session! Well, in between the choker shenanigans and failed pranks turned unsuccessful attempts at murder, at least. I'm not sure what direction the rivalry between Kisara and Snogla will go in now, but I know that murder's probably not off the table now, so I should probably find a way to act before the dice decide that Kisara's no longer fit for this world... However, there's time between then and now, so I'll use this week's holiday hiatus to plan my next course of action! See you all in two weeks!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
Yeh, we're still playing. We just haven't in a while because holidays.
The westmarches project has been delayed due to life issues, but the more people we get actually working on it, the faster it will manifest.
New link:
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we were camped out next to the smoldering wreckage of the inn

>In between sessions, RP happened that resulted in the area being attacked by ogres and Kisara was kind of the cause, so we had enough advance warning to cheese it back to the tribe
>When we get back, we find that they actually had held position for us and we gladly re-integrate ourselves while telling Ukri that the entire tribe we just came from is a no-go-zone until further notice
>He accepts this, and the tribe gets moving again while the distant sounds of battle echo across the forrested hills and we progress forwards towards the great geode
>Along the way, we make it a decent distance when we find a large pile of gnomish footprints
>The rest of the tribe holds position while we lead an advance party out to ambush these fuckers further up the road, and we set up a very large pit trap to catch them offguard
>The trap is constructed and we lay in wait on both sides of the road, hoping to catch these bastards unaware
>Soon enough, the gnomes trundle on by as we expected and a bunch of them fall into the pit trap, upon which we push a big fucking rock we found in on top of them!
>That's a bunch more gnomes added to the killcount!
>Now, the rest of them start to organize an actual fighting force to try to repel our surprise attack while we pick them off rapidly
>Kisara in particular fries 16 of the squishier ones with a single lightning bolt, but they weren't actual warriors so it wasn't that helpful in the grand scheme
>It did hit three actual soldiers though, so that was cool!
>Also, one of the gnomes is a cleric and he summons a gold-eating 8-legged badger to start defending the rest of the gnomes and terrorizing our weasel riders
>it proves to be incredibly stubborn, but it doesn't really threaten us
>No, what threatens us is the lieutenant scout that impales Kisara with an arrow before charging into melee with Vyth
>She puts up a fight, but eventually her and the rest of the fighting gnomes are downed
>...Except the cleric, who has vanished
>All of the gnomes in a radius suddenly get up and start trying to flee though, so we know the cleric's somewhere
>I try to nail down exactly where through a scintillating sphere, but turns out he's got a spell up that prevents people from targeting him with attacks
>Dang, that's real soft
>So Kisara calls him a pussy and demands that he show himself, upon which the dumbass yells out a stupid but useful "fuck you" and tells us exactly where he is
>He then just decides to double down and throw an attack at Vyth since he's already blown his cover, and then gets on the gold badger and fucks off with the rest of the escaped gnomes
>However, before one can escape, Vyth hold-persons him and we take him prisoner!
>All the corpses are looted and investigated, and it turns out that a bunch of them were actually wax golems
>Damn, that means that we only killed about half the gnomes we thought we did
>Oh well
>We drag the gnome back to the tribe and start torturing him, and we eventually get a lot out of him
>They were heading to the great geode themselves, hoping to drive out a population of gnolls and set up a mining outpost there, which is what the golems were for
>He was also nice enough to point out the location of where the escapees would retreat to, so we have the locations of a few nearby cities on the map and a newly added gnomish city as well!
>As a reward for being so helpful, he's sacrificed in the name of Kurtulmak since it was that time of the month
>And that's where the session ended

Another fun one, if a bit short. Next session we should be close to the Great Geode so we can take it over with our superior numbers and superior draconic blood, but in the event that there's more along the road to see, then I'll bring news of that as well! Also, the session may be postponed for Little Trouble in Big Absalom, a PF2e oneshot designed around a bunch of level 1 kobolds having fun in the city if anyone wants to join. Either you can make a character yourself, or you can use one of the premade characters to live out the same kinds of wacky shenanigans we get up to here, just hit up the invite link in >>166423 !