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Kaverns & Kobolds Two: The Electric Boogaloo
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Welcome to the Kaverns & Kobolds Klub (/kkk/).

This source will be dedicated to posting resources and session logs for a whacky low-level 3.5e adventure featuring an all-kobold party, with the recurring theme of (((gnome))) genocide.
The game begins at lvl 1 using standard 3.5e rules, with a few houserules. The setting is generic and uses elements from various d&d settings. Characters begin at lvl 1 with 40 point buy stats, and all PCs recieve Dragonwrought and Dragontouched as a bonus feat!

Adventure Synopsis:
>For centuries, the kobolds of the Spawncamper tribe lived in rugged peace, amassing great wealth in the mines and only suffering occasional mass casualties from battles with neighboring goblinoids, gnomes, gnolls, dwarves, and really everything else. However, that changed just a months ago, when the tribe's clergy stopped recieving bonus spells from their almighty Lord and Savior: the Devil Kurtulmak. The Silence of Kurtulmak lasted for only one week, but the event shook the core of the tribe. In their search for answers, the tribal leadership determined that the cause for the silence was for the fact that they had failed to wage war on the neighboring gnomish kingdom of Glimmersburg for too many years. Intent on proving their devotion to their lord, the fanatic kobolds rallied their forces and planned an all out assault on Glimmersburg and its neighboring villages.
>The invasion resulted in catastrophe. While the Kobolds fought well and were skilled in the arts of gnome-slaying, they miscalculated the strength of the gnomish kingdom's alliance with the nearby dwarven clans, and were forcefully pushed back and outnumbered. They also never expected to be flanked by svirfneblin from the underdark blocking off their path of escape. Outnumbered and surrounded in three dimensions, the Spawncamper tribe suffered casualties like they'd never seen before, pushed to the bring of extinction. What's more, the war revealed veins of rich mineral resources that the kobolds had been mining, and the gnomes of Glimmersburg decided they would annex the territory of the spawncampers and get rid of the kobold nuisiance once and for all. In a last bid effort, the tribal leadership set off a series of explosive traps that collapsed the majority of the mines that had been taken over by gnomes, causing mass casualties on both sides, but buying some of the remaining kobolds time to escape. Spawncamper tribe was all but destroyed, with the few that survived scattering in every direction for survival. In a The Gnomes currently occupy what remains of the mines, and are intent on slaughtering every last one of them.
>But as the mighty Kurtulmak taught them, no battle with gnomes is over so long as one kobold survives. Soon, the gnomes of Glimmersburg will once again face the wrath of Kurtulmak and the blood of Tiatmat.
>And so, we begin with the position of our heroes. They are brave kobold warriors who fought in the Glimmersberg assault. Ranking high in their respective warbands, they've seen their share of work and battle following the three K's of Koboldism: Kruelty, Kowardice and Kunning. After strategically pushing their younger comrades into the meatgrinder, they set off a powerful Wyrm ditherbomb that collapsed the cavern of a battlefield while they hid in a storage cache where they stayed for days.
>Running low on resources, our heroes are set to emerge from their little fishbowl and make their own path. Perhaps they will seek revenge on the gnomes who destroyed their society. Perhaps they'll search the rubble for survivors. They might rebuild and repoulate the mines themselves, or leave the kaverns in search of better luck elsewhere. They might just cower in place until they run out of dead corpses and eat eachother. Perhaps they'll set off on their own adventure and the honest life of the average murderhobo. Only time can tell.

The /kkk/ runs on discord (for now) as a corner of the 'Official' /mlpol/ Horseplay Initiative. I started this adventure as a joke, but I've decided to use it to test methods and media for a multi-media Westmarches that I've been planning to create for this community. New members/players are always welcome:

This setting uses Action Points (Eberron style, not UA style), and any character who writes a log, session summary, in-character anecdote, artwork or other substantial contribution gets one free action point at the end of the session, so please write logs.
A door is is a chuuni little shit hiding in scraps of cloth and pearly violet scales. Believing she is the ancient reincarnated sibling of the Sky Emperor, and Lord of all Dragons, (who doesn't exist). Adooris quickly found herself on the edges of kobold society. Although Kobold societies have little privacy or patience, Adooris is not a sorcerer and is thus, seen as a relatively nonthreatening peer. She lacks the great power of Kurtulmak. Called cave tourch by other kobolds who mock her chosen name, Adooris seemed to willingly sulk into obscurity. In her hand, where nobody, not even the chance of a fellow kobold can seen, she takes out a soft, violet colored egg shaped crystal. Inside it is a wicked looking needle. What does this great burden mean? and Why must she continue to bear it into this next life?

May Serena's light guide me
Alright, Ran is an Amethyst Dragonwrought Kobold Sorcerer. He's about 2 feet tall and is colored violet, though he can't tell the difference between it and normal purple. Being quite weak physically, even compared to other Kobolds, he's had to make up for it by being able to talk others into doing what he wants them to do. While he was loyal to the Spawncamper tribe, he would often shirk duties due to laziness, preferring combat or exploring freshly mined tunnels. When he was assigned work to do himself, he'd usually try to talk himself out of it, or failing that, get someone else to do it for him. However, he would occasionally assist in the work using his sorcery, usually by using acid to melt away small piles of rubble or lifting away light rocks with Mage Hand. He would also scare away pests by using Flare or stun them to be killed using Color Spray.
Vyth is a shorter than average green kobold. He has yellow eyes and two horns that stick backwards. He has a freshly healed scar across the fingers on his right hand. and a long healed scar from a falling rock on his left foot. He's short tempered but always knows when to run away from a fight. He has bad luck when mining causing cave-ins and accidents more than a kobold should. He was taken off of mining duty by the tribe and went through cleric training. He has since devoted himself to Kurtulmak.
Reminder to everyone that your initial descriptions need not be final, as I will allow you all to tweak your characters after the first session.
Okay, so we have the reskinned-PC psionic heretic, the other purple scaled kobold sorcerer, and the unlucky Luck Domain Cleric.
We'll get to the combat when the lightning bitch is ready.
Kobolts are stronger (than goblins), faster (than goblins), cooler (than goblins).
Sexier than goblins
Kisara's Player
Lightning bitch here!

>Kisara is a white kobold with a slight blue tinge from her draconic heritage, and she specializes in destruction magic and has a penchant for lightning. She's an egomaniac turned regular maniac, seeking to amass all the power to become a dragon so that she can protect what's left of her tribe and make those who dared to cross her and her family/friends pay dearly for every drop of blood they spilled
Kisara's Player
>Session recap

>Welcome to Kaverns and Kobolds, where stupid fucking gnomes tore up our home and now we're trying to escape and survive to fight another day!
>In today's session...
>We're all stuck in an occupied burrow as the gnomes start raiding and slaughtering, with only us as the surviving few that we know of
Kisara's still out for this part, so I don't know the specifics
>Ran, Vyth and Adooris are beginning the work of getting us out
>They encounter and kill a dire badger and some less-than-friendly super-dire weasels, and then Ran gets conked by a rock when his player has to leave
>Digging continues, and Kisara wakes up and immediately stumbles into a thunderstone trap like a dummy!
>This alerts some patrolling gnomes, and the now deafened mage has to decipher Adooris's frantic gesturing to help collapse the tunnel before the patrolling gnomes get there
>We manage to collapse the tunnel with the help of Ran's unconscious flailing, and we spend an hour waiting around for Kisara to start hearing something other than EEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Once that's over, we sort out a game plan: sneak around the back way to the temple of Kurtulmak, check to see if anyone's there, and depending on that answer we then kollapse the tunnel to the kommune and kill any gnomes in there with the rockfall
>We begin putting this plan into action, but get interrupted when we find some troglodytes that moved from the mines into the burrow proper
>That's a bad sign
>We try to be friendly and diplomatic to get around them, but they woke up today and chose violence
>We make a fighting retreat, but mostly fail at fighting (notable exceptions being Vyth and his breath channeling and Kisara's one actually successful spell)
>Adooris also then reveals her magical girl powers, much to Vyth's disappointment and Kisara's relative indifference
>We then spend the rest of the session resting and RPing, with Adooris and Vyth working out their differences and Kisara playing towards the side of "I'm not going to start any fights, but I'm not above ending them"
>Once everything's out in the open and sufficiently defused, we finish the long rest so that we're not left crippled for the rest of the day after expelling all our resources on one singular bad encounter
All in all, I had fun. Can't wait for the next session!
We were caved in. The once lively tunnels were now the tomb of my people. The few of us that survived regrouped. I came up with the bright idea to look for survivors. This decision has only caused us hardship. I led us into our home; Well, I suppose it isn’t ours anymore. We lost control of it during the past few days of heavy fighting. As we were digging out the cave in we heard what sounded like a kobold in pain on the other side of a wall. I should’ve known better. As I knock the wall down with careless abandon, I discover too late it wasn’t what I thought it to be. It was a gnomish badger, wounded in a fight against one of our dire weasels. The only thing that saved me was the half dead weasel, and for it’s trouble I covered them both in acid. It was the quick work of one of our party, Adooris, that saved me. She charged forward and held the badger at bay with a shield we had found. Adooris is heavily wounded, but nothing that couldn’t be healed with a little salve. We find some weasel pups. As we continue digging out tunnels we drew closer to the kommune. Even though we did find another to add to our group of survivors, it was a trap. The damned gnomes had set a thunderstone to trigger if anyone stepped on a tripwire. Through the hard work of all of us we ran from the living area and collapsed the tunnel behind us. Hopefully the gnomes thought the cave in triggered their trap. Seeing as the gnomes had already infiltrated the living areas, we decided to try and collapse the cave on them. The two triggers would be either be through the tunnel we had just sealed, or in the temple of Kurtulmak. I chose the latter to pursue. It led us into a battlefield. Our friends and family were now nothing but corpses covering the floor. I heard what I thought was a friendly voice, and tried to approach it quietly. I failed in this endeavor and instead alerted a new enemy to our presence. Troglodytes had come up from the underdark and were now feasting upon the corpses of our tribe. It disgusted me. We barely managed to escape with our lives and Adooris had almost sacrificed herself to save me again. But instead she phased through it. I don’t know what magics this kobold was using, but it was unnatural and definitely heretical. If this were any other time, this heretic would’ve been killed and sacrificed to Kurtulmak; However I believe it best we don’t thin our numbers any more than they already are. As I sit here, I look back on the past day and realize that every mistake made was my mistake. I put us in danger time and time again and for what? We are no closer to escaping our would-be tomb and no closer to defeating the gnomes. As we travel onward all we find are corpses and enemies. We must be the last survivors in this whole damned place. Anyone in the temple would’ve already triggered any trap we would hope to. So either it is empty, or filled with more enemies. It is as if Kurtulmak himself is watching over us, and protecting us all from my incompetence. We must leave before we join our people in this tomb. I pray for Kurtulmak to guide us and for his protection from our most hated enemies.
Kobold MAgical Girl.png
Kobold MAgical Girl full.png
Portrait Kobold.png
This is probably too late to qualify for the AP but I do this for all my characters anyway. A fully custom token border for use in the maptool engine. We still aren't decided on using maptool but It makes me more comfortable to have it.

As an update, during an attack on adooris's person by a smelly troglodyte, she was forced to reveal her final form in-front of her allies. Things got a little adversarial in-front of the cleric of our state religion as a consequence. For now though, we have bigger fish to fry. Will our skulking heroes take back the temple?
Nice faceclaim. Looking forward to the developments.
>Last time on Kobold Ball Z...
>Three idiots fight a badger and then a 4th idiot subs in for one of them and they almost get eaten by troglodytes

>The long rest is over, so we poke our heads out and see if the troglodytes are still there
>Our collective noses aren't assaulted with filth, so we're in the clear!
>Now, to decide a plan of action...
>We could escape into the underdark (where all the monsters are coming from), we could escape through the front door of the burrow (where the gnomes are pouring in through), or we could escape through a secret tunnel in the temple of Kurtulmak
>Yeah, obvious choice!
>So we decide once again to go to the temple, this time to escape instead of simply burying the gnomes in rocks
>Burying them in rocks will just be happy happenstance then!
Anyway, we're navigating the tunnels and come across another gnomish patrol
>This time, however, there's a tasty choke point in between us and them to abuse!
>We set up a pit trap and a bunch of caltrops before alerting them with darkness, causing them to panic
>Then Vyth gases them with plenty of chlorine!
>Kisara throws lightning around as usual, and... Adooris does something, but I honestly don't remember (sorry dude)
>Anyway, the sergeant manages to make it past our traps while his three lackeys all die unceremoniously behind him
>The sergeant doesn't die yet though, so we take him prisoner while he's unconscious
>We then drag him along for a while, and in the process of getting to the temple come across another patrol
>We have no chokes here, so we opt to hide instead behind some of the various rocks and detritus around the area
>Kisara succeeds on an insane take-10-add-16, Adooris also succeeds, but Vyth and his new fancy armor and bright green scales sticks out like a glowstick when the light hits him
>He burns another one of his breath channels
>Gas lvl 1
>Initiative rolls, we all do well and take our turns
>Kisara throws a stone of gnomeblight
>Gas lvl 2
>Other stuff happens, Adooris shoots some of the jerks and the gnomes scramble to fight back, but then it gets back to Vyth's turn
>Gas lvl 3
>At this point, the gnomes are pretty much all dead and their lungs are puddles
>Yay war crimes!
>Another successful encounter later, we've reached level 2!
>We also encounter some interesting oddities dropped by the gnomes, and of course stash these shinies away for safekeeping until we can figure out what they are/do
>Anyway, we're almost to the tunnel leading up to the temple of Kurtulmak from the mines, except we come across another fucking group of gnomes!
>Another sergeant, a ranger, a cleric, and a Dorf merc
>A tough encounter to be sure, but Kisara just unlocked a new spell!
>One long-ass planning session later, our plan is set into motion
>Two spear traps are laid down in front of the dorf, and a strong ditherbomb is hurled at mach 2 towards the cleric, beaning her over the head and knocking her down for the fight while dealing 10 acid damage to everyone but the dorf
>Vyth and Adooris follow up on this initial strike by shooting the ranger, knocking him down a decent chunk of his hp but not outright killing him
>The dorf gets up after the surprise round and immediately gets speared for 8 damage, and the sergeant gets speared too for 1 damage when he rushes to check on the cleric
>Anyway, the ranger then blows a whistle and alerts... something to our presence
>Anyway, Kisara spends the next few turns being dedicated kobold artillery, Vyth does his thing with a crossbow, and Adooris does the same
>The ranger's the second to drop, concentrated fire from all the kobolds being enough to take him down, but not before his summoned badger pops out of the ground!
>And what's worse, the dorf has decided to finally charge down Adooris
>She and Vyth are left in the open, fending off a badger and a pissed off she-dorf with a bigass cleaver of an axe, while Kisara's sitting behind a rock still in artillery position
>Oh well, the next best thing is to start throwing lightning again!
>A three-thunders lightning ball knocks the badger on its ass and stuns it for a round, letting Vyth and Adooris focus on the dorf and down her too
>Kisara then volunteers to keep the badger stunlocked while they go and deal with the remaining sergeant
>They deal with him, and Kisara almost has a bad time with the badger, but luckily the other two help her out of a bind and allow the mage to cast one last spell and knock the badger down too
>For our efforts, we're brought almost to lvl 3!
>Coup-de-graces are handed out, except to the cleric who is rescued by Adooris for some odd reason
>Eh, our interrogation target can be changed
>The other sergeant that we'd captured is summarily executed, and this new prisoner is tied up and added to our pile of trash
>And now that our resources are expended almost completely, it's time for another long rest!
>Kisara starts cooking one of the gnomes over the fire, Vyth is doing something, and Adooris is turning her nose up at perfectly good food
>Kisara T-poses at her and calls her a nerd for this, and she's forced to agree weakly
>She goes back to cooking, but Adooris decides that she's not going down after this match and starts T-posing at Kisara who half-heartedly responds after already winning the first match
>After this, the two magic users use this time to start their rites of passage and gain their extra spell slots (I did in fact mention that I was doing this, I just didn't speak up during this next thing!) and Vyth settles down to take first watch
>Everything goes well (and I guess Kisara falls asleep during her rite) up until Vyth falls asleep and gets conked by a stone elemental
>Everybody's surprised by this, but we all wake up and take it down within a turn and then pass back out sometime later, with nothing else disturbing us

>Current gnome kill count: 11+1 prisoner, execution date to be decided

And that's how today's session went! A solid one, if I say so myself!
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There were three of us, the heretic Adooris, the sorcerer Kisara, and me, the cleric Vyth. We rested, but I couldn't fall asleep. It was the stench and the sound. The stench of the troglodytes outside our room, and the sound of them feasting upon the corpses of our tribe. We could tell when the beasts had left because the worst of the smell left with them, but the corpses we were surrounded with didn't smell better with time. It was decided that continuing on to the Temple of Kurtulmak was our best chance of leaving this tomb alive. There is an escape route there. It is unknown to me where it actually leads, but anywhere is better than dying here. As we travelled onward I noticed a lightsource further down the tunnel. It was a group of gnomes, celebrating the riches they had stolen from our people in a side room. Their celebration was their downfall. We approached in darkness and trapped the floor on the exit of the room as I magically extinguished the lantern they were using. In the darkness I released the power of out dragon ancestors through the symbol of Kurtulmak, the heretic fired a shortbow, and Kisara fired lightning balls at them. They were taken by surprise. One of them managed to create a magical lightsource but it did them no good. They were killed, and one of them was taken prisoner. We reclaimed the riches that were rightfully ours and took from the gnomes what they weren't using anymore. I must admit I took pleasure in their deaths. It was justice that they suffer for what they had done. I donned a set of banded armor the prisoner was wearing. He will be sacrificed later. We travelled forward and came upon what I assume was a patrol. We hid hoping they would pass, but one of them saw me. I noticed this and immediately attacked them. They didn't survive the ambush we had prepared. It was my fault that they had even noticed us. We took what they had and travelled onward towards the Temple. We came upon another group of gnomes. There was a dwarf with them. One of their number was a cleric of Garl. Seeing her here, so close to this sacred place made my blood boil. We ambushed them from the darkness, but this group was clearly more dangerous than any we had fought yet. The cleric of their group had been knocked unconscious by our opening attack. The rest of them were killed, but not without calling a badger to fight us and grievously wounding both Kisara and the heretic. It was only by Kurtulmak's will that neither of them killed. We took the cleric as a prisoner after she stabilized. She will be sacrificed to Kurtulmak at a later time. The prisoner we did have was killed. We rested by the fire and ate cooked gnome as a way to stretch our rations out longer. My two companions argued about something I didn't care about. We might not have an easy time finding food later. As we rested by the fire I took first watch. I nodded off and was rewarded for my action by an attack by a stone elemental. It was defeated quickly, but if it was a something more dangerous it would've killed us. Yet again I had put us in danger that could've easily been avoided. I will pray to Kurtulmak for forgiveness.
Kisara's Player, the Perpetually Tired
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>Where we left off, the gaggle of retards was about to set off into the tunnel to the temple of Kurtulmak

>We enter the tunnel, being careful to avoid any and all traps we find (unlike some unlucky gnomes)
>Along the way, we're assailed by some kobold skellingtons
>Vyth rebukes them though, making them into friendlies
>Along the way, we also find the corpse of the matriarch Iada, a notable warrior and broodmother
>Not wanting her gear to go to waste, we loot her corpse and heed her ominous warning about a magic-proof monster lurking
>We make it to the temple shortly after, and hear some weird shit
>We also see some weird shit, particularly a bloody gnome swinging at the air in a ruined room
>Said gnome notices us, and we call out to it to see if it's a mutual threat
>It immediately snaps its own neck to look at us as we hear more gnome voices in the background
>Vyth and the skellies enter the room, dodging traps to close on the weird-ass gnome
>Neck-snapped gnome is still very much alive and machine-y, and it hucks a splash weapon at Vyth/skelebros, dealing some fire damage
>The mechanical zombie gnome gets lightninged by Kisara, forcing it to slow down before shorting out a little
>Vyth and the skellingtons continue advancing on it, Adooris does things with the prisoner, and Kisara shocks the abomination as it recovers from the short circuit
>Vyth acids it when he gets close enough, but it's barely affected, even inhaling the acid to prove a point
>The Gnominator throws more fire at Vyth and the Skellys and then casually walks through it, undoing all the slowing the electricity did to it
>Kisara lightnings it again, making it slow back down before it can start putting the real hurt on Vyth
>1 arcana check later, turns out this thing is a berserk half-golem intent on killing both enemy and friend, immune to magic/supernatural attacks aside from electricity which slows it down, but fire undoes it
>Knowing this, Vyth falls back to the door the rest of us are near
>Kisara, running low on lvl1 spells, uses thunderhead to knock him down completely and continue stunning the gnominator for a few more turns
>Sensing the direness of the situation, Adooris uses her birthday cupcake to summon... something, and they both attack the gnominator and deal a fuckload of damage to it
>Enough damage to kill it in fact, seemingly causing the room to fill with mist
>Here's where shit starts getting weird
>Everybody hauls ass out of the room, but Adooris loses the prisoner after getting blindsided by some weird ass colors
>More weird colors fly out of the mist and Kisara tries to help Adooris out of there, but she drops unconscious from the colors
>A cloaked figure then emerges and starts chatting it up with the prisoner and working on freeing her
>Another enemy caster, unfortunately
>Kisara goes in to make sure Adooris doesn't get killed and does so by stun/proning the caster and downing the cleric again
>Vyth orders the skellies back in, they finish off the caster amazingly quickly
>Now having had enough of her shit, the party slates the annoying cleric for sacrifice, regardless of Adooris's opinions on the matter
>And now that the other caster's dead and the mist has dissipated, we can enter temple proper!
>Inside, we find tribe leader Wiivai dead on the floor as well and surrounded by the corpses of his/our kin
>Again, we loot what we can, and Adooris takes this opportunity to pull a pair of trapped levers and kill a fuckload of gnomes
>Meanwhile, Vyth and Kisara ritualistically sacrifice the cleric, causing a miracle to happen!
>Blood pours from the cave roof, our pocket weasel friends start partying, and Daddy Kurtulmak gives us all back a spell slot!
>He then offers Vyth a wish, and he wishes for the tribe's protection, giving us all +5 AC for a day
>After this there's not much to do, so we opt to escape upwards and see the outside world for the first time (as opposed to digging our own tunnels or going down to the underdark for some suicidal reason)
>We climb through a hatch at the top of the temple, putting us inside a fairly large cave where we can see a bright light on the other end of it
>When we venture into said light, we find bright sunlight, distant mountains, rolling green hills and verdant forests surrounding us on all sides
>However, instead of exploring all that immediately, we spend a minute staring directly at the sun for some stupid reason (don't lie, you've stared at the sun too)
>Since it's about time for the session to end though, we opt to camp in the cave we came from and count the loot we got in the temple

>Current gnome kill count: ~314, 1 of which was sacrificed for power

And that's today's session! Another fun time, and hopefully the next session will shine as favorably upon the remnants of the Spawncampers Tribe!
A door is. Of the Spawn Campers
Adooris did not quite need to shiver in the cold as for once the fire cooked badger and not humanoid. It would be a mistake to think she liked the taste of any food, rather than being squeamish for her values. Even the magical scent of a potion was still more palatable but just as noxious. Only curses did not taste rancid, and she had long since lost her strength to consume them, Would they even be palatable again? No, more importantly, what to do with the gnome.

Adooris's passion burned for retribution and judgement, but they had just barely been able to tell this creature didn't seem enthusiastic about being in this place. She was right, for they where about to draw Serenas justice upon them. As she looked at kisara in the camp fire, her blue shimmering scales, guilt clawed at her. Her memories where hazy of that other life, but a deep, dark blue dragon lashing out to her agony in wrathful blue lightning, Anine. Had she also crushed her young as this foolish gnome had done? It was not hard for her to think back on her tribe fondly, and the years of her childhood here had been brief but full, however it wasn't hard to put herself and her memories in the context of this fools position, being suckered in to believing this tradgedy would stop with our deaths. Perhaps this was the penance she deserved. This gnome was now vital. A cleric, a real cleric, if her magic could be used, to escape the watchful eyes of the other two, and delve deeper into the dungeon of kurtulmac.

Her plan then, to force the gnome to redeam herself, and by proxy, help cleans her own sins, in the deep burning rubble. It was likely that their next leg of the venture would still be frought with peril, but after they had broken free to the surface, it would be possible to sneak back into the temple proper, gnome in tow. It wouldn't be that hard, to enter the temple, and survive long enough to pull the levers. The others where right, they where alone and outmatched, they should run, but Heretic A door is did not have to follow them. She could show the Foolsgoldgod Garl exactly what his karmic fate had earned him. And then. after, she would likely be slain by the strongest gnomes. She looked into kisaras eyes moodily in the flame, certain that the uncomplicated companion couldn't sense the guilt and familiarity through these violet eyes of hers.
A door is. Of the Spawn Campers: The Trapdoor Spider
Today was the day they set off through the traps. Being on the fringes of society did not lend Adooris with a very realistic idea of how long it would take for her to traverse the caves with her limp charge in tow. Abandoning the tower shield early as far too much, they trecked ever further down the tunneling maze. Foot steps and dripping water, blood and the rush of wind rattled all three of them, as Adooris's hampered speed proved just fine in light of Vyth's careful examination for her tribes devious traps. No matter the cost, she could execute her plan if she only could find the temple, however, first they had to find the exit for the other two, and with little to go on beyond Vyth's old memories of the place, they berreled down traps of spear and skeleton alike.

It was only when adooris realized they had been walking in circles that she heard it. A deep pained cry, high pitched and far away. With her charge and directions given to Vyth, they chased after it, certain these sounds where trouble. The kind of trouble however, was confusing and terrifying. A hulking steaming gnome brandished a weapon and clashed with an invisible figure, her yelping in pain as the man like monstrosity appeared to tear a crashing path of destruction back into the newly revealed temple of kurtulmac.

As they huddled with fear by the door, so beset by the strange turn of events, Adooris was shocked when Vyth, seeing his teeth grit, pushed into the room proper. She took stock behind him, Arming her bow, heart thumping with a concerned thrill. They should not have to bear this risk, they should be leaving this place to escape, but for some reason, perhaps the chaos had awoken something in Vyth, and he would not go. Adooris did not raise a word to make him, She could see his determination. As the rampaging golem like gnome bellowed steam and flame, Adooris knocked her bow, glancing down worriedly at her trump card. the gnome priestess. she had found her awake! Drat, it was too soon, she had not even had the chance to converse with her in secret. With nothing for it, she ensnared the gnome in her magics, gem gowling brightly as she charmed her. The gnome slackened, a dazed look on her face as she turned her attention back to the clashing pair.

Lightning arced at the gnome monstrosity, their terrible battle was joined as the gnome seemed to regard the last thing that touched it in any given moment with baleful scourging limbs. Occupied with her bow and charge, glancing nervously down at it, adooris wondered if this was some kind of curse of Kurtulmac. Had he turned the gnomes who defiled his temple against eachother? Her nervous glances down at her trump card didn't spy any stirrings of magic, so she loosed arrow after arrow. Kisaras lightning seemed to help, but they could tell it was not damaging it, just slowing it down. Vyths flaming passions that could match Adooris' own seemed to only storm the clock work things power reserves. It crashed down upon all three of them. but something had gone haywire with it. It seemed to grow weaker, having difficulty turning its powers off. gnomeish engines whistled as lightning and metal bounced off of it, before finally it had ceased slinging around its fires and cloaked itself. Adooris thought deeply as she spared the priestess one more glance. Dare she eat it? she did not have any desire too, but she did. With regret on her face, she blew out her coming of age treat, wishing for the future, to see Serena and meet her once more!, she would not fall till she overcome!, she dashed into the room towards the trail of flame left by the gnomish creation, pulling the long bow, her mind foggy from the taste of the treats magic and her own pounding heart, until she felt them. humanoid limbs on her claw, a whisper of golden hair in the dark shade. Once more she felt the touch of her goddess on her very flesh. The flash of memory vivid, both of them holding the same bow, firing together. Adooris tapped into her faith. The burning, flaming, passion. Her arrow flew true, striking the invulnerable creature in its weakest point.

it crushed the enemy. They let out a strange noise and croak, and adooris stood there, shocked from the revelation. The prophetess once more touched by her divine spark, whom she had feared had all but abandoned her for her crimes.

They did not get long to enjoy their victory, deep noxious gas spread from the creature. Adooris caughed as vyth and kisara turned tail to run away. A strange chirping sound from the monster stirred a forgotten memory.
>You arm it like this, and you have 30 seconds to...
Adooris followed her similarly instinctually fearful companions, stopping only to slash at the bonds tying up the gnomish priestesses feet. Even despite their panic, there was some calm in her as she thought; "thats right, you two don't have to face this, This time, I'll take care of it for sure". But that distracted thought was almost her undoing, as finally, the plan the priestess set into motion came into play, her possom behavior a front to escape. Grunting she made to grapple and wrestle the escaped gnome to the ground. "Ruh-" She called back to the two fleeing kobolds without much success as she realized how tough of a fighter the gnome was even while bound up. As the two wrestled into the ground the noxious mist flashed brightly, it was like a vivid multihued lightning bolt had filled this mist. It was not until adooris felt the draw of her faith protecting her that she realized this was not her goddess but the enemy's power. It washed over the both of them as they struggled. Adooris yelled in celestial at her
>"you idiot are you immune to this or just stupid!?"
as the gnome fought to turn deeper into the mist, the gag keeping her retort from being intelligible. 'I have to keep this up, I have to get her back under control, I need her to pull the second leaver!' Adooris thought. Following up that thought by considering her companions.
A door is. Of the Spawn Campers: The Trapdoor Spider
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'it's alright' adooris nodded to herself. "it should be okay, they will just run, their self preservation technique is strong, I'll just bare the blast and fight my way through., they'll have to assume I died in the explosion" But as she fought, the explosion never came. As the two pint sized women of faith crawled on the ground the clouds shook 2nd time, then a final third time. As she faded from conciousness, she heard the shocked gasp as she hit the wall next to the hidden Kisara. confusion wraped on her own features as she beheld the trick, the mist suspiciously like the ones she used to use, and the light, a flashing wave caused by the hidden gnome the construct had earlier been fighting. As the priestess and the gnome looked down upon her with a victorious smirk, their panicked voices smeared into her unconsciousness.

She could hear Vyths voice as she was drug away from the temple, her body locked stiff as Vyth cursed. Perhaps he was just as confused as she was, him, risking his life for her? It was one thing to let her go for now, but to actually risk his life for her? Somehow, they had won, the two of them. And the gnome priestess was even alive. But they did not haul her off ot the surface, but the temple. The temple of kurtulmac was now theirs. They had fought their way through three implacable foes, one of might, two of sleight. Despite the Priestess's living state, Adooris felt hollow. having forced her new allies to come after her stirred up some nameless feelings from her past, and more over, there was the sense of futility in it all. ' you fool' she thought. 'If you hadn't broken free of my hand, you would be alive and I would be the one dead.' she thought in irony as she looked at the priestesses unconcious body. Adooris had no stomach for what she knew they where about to do, but also knew she neither had the standing or the inclination to fight. Still. As she stared at Kisara's wonder, and the dead kobolds of this temple, the smell of blood reminding her of her own turn on the recieving end of kobold traps, she stood and began to enact their plans. It was more than she deserved. and yet, nobody questioned her, and she didn't question them. They found the leavers eventually. the goal Adooris had risked everything for. To turn the karmic tables on Garls people, and bring the rocks down on herself and them. With the temple secure, they could pull them at any time. They would even be able to go free, with two trap doors leading both up and down. She stood at the ready, pain and pleading in her eyes as she waited for one of them to join her. It was in their hands, and together, as three, they each pulled a level. Cutting off the enterence and crushing the main rooms, where most kobolds had either died or fled from. As she thought about the hatchling room, the jostle shaking her, she at last remembered a sobering truth about her fight with anine. In the end, the endangered dragon race meant that in that past life she had not crushed those eggs. Like that very safe room somewhere down there in the rubble, she had not dealt a blow to the dragon race so dire. with painful indifference, she watched as the two companions then sacrificed the woman. If only she had understood, but then, if only she had as well. She could feel Kurtulmacs ire and power run through her as certainly as she could feel the comforting illusory shadow of her Faith caress her. Then, just as the ritual was finished, eyes descended down from the depths of the void and regarded Vyth. She heard him call out his wish. And soon her eyes where fixed on his in astonishment. A totally selfless wish uttered on his lips. She couldn't do it justice. She had completely failed. Succeeded yes in the beginning of that fight, but failed to truly see the strength in those two sets of eyes.
As kurtulmacs power mixed with serenas, the pandamonium of whispers and visions grew more potent. Adooris was given the impression just from the magic that thought they where not clashing there was a mixture that was not close to done reaching equilibrium. "Serena, was this your lesson?" She murmured in Celestial. "May your light continue to guide me, and may I continue to be of use to my family."
Kisara's Player, the Perpetually Tired
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Some extra knowledge given to us by the GM after the session that he had meant to give us beforehand will now be woven into a small greentext. Enjoy!

>Kisara sat next to the fire inside this surface cave, the fresh air strange to her nose
>However, despite the peculiarity of the air around her and her companions, she found that she could now smell things far better than when they were in the burrow, where the stale, dank and dusty conditions worked against the transmission of scents
>Blessed with this newfound, heightened ability, she finally noticed something
>Not only did she bear a scent notably similar to Iada, but so did another in this ragtag gang!
>Kisara, wanting to know who was her kin, continued to covertly taste the air around her to isolate the source of this second scent, and in doing so, found out something else about it
>Not only was this other kobold her kin, but likely a direct sibling as well!
>To think, not only did she escape, but someone who potentially bore the same strength as her own bloodline!
>With newfound fervor, Kisara continued to test the air and probe closer to the source of the scent until she found her answer
>"That purple dweeb is the one who shares my blood!?" Kisara thought to herself, finally isolating the scent to Adooris
>Well, if she was going to have any pride in her family, she clearly had an uphill battle ahead in getting her newfound sister to be a proper, respectable kobold
>After all, someone would have to pass on these powers once Kisara completed her apotheosis...
After resting we continued on to the Temple carrying the captured gnome cleric with us. We knew the maze of tunnels leading to the Temple was heavily trapped by both us and the damned gnomes. I took the lead, as I was semi-familiar with the area. I helped mine the tunnels, not that it helped. I at least pretended I knew where I was going.

As we were wandering the tunnels, we came across a chamber with a mural showing Garl collapsing Darastrixhurthi on Kurtulmak and two kobold skeletons. As we were inspecting the mural the skeletons awoke and attacked the heretic. They managed to seriously wound her before I could react. With Kurtulmak's power I made them kneel in awe as I took control of them. I still led the way as we tried to find the temple. We found more of the dead, these ones were more recently killed. Kobold and gnome alike, some were killed by traps and others by something else.

We continued on and eventually every trap we came across was already triggered. We started to find bloody shoe prints down one path and back up from another. It would seem some gnomes were, at some point, as lost as we were. At one of the branches we found the corpse of Iada. She was one of the most respected sorcerers of the tribe and was a mother to many kobolds. My two living companions acted strangely upon finding her, but I was more interested on what she had written in blood on the wall. "It cannot be harmed by sorcery." Needless to say I took her magical spear and armor as it was better than what I was using.

After a little more wandering we heard what sounded to be a gnome screaming. As we followed the noise we found that the walls were scuffed by something metal trying to pass by and almost getting stuck. We found the souce of the screaming. Through an already opened hidden door we found what seemed to be a gnome running around and throwing potions at something. It was covered in blood and seemed to have steam coming from out of it's ears. In it's chest was some sort of clockwork... something. Even looking at it was sickening.

Adooris set the captive down and we advanced into the room. I commanded the skeletons to move into the room with the heretic and I behind them and Kisara behind us. This thing didn't trigger all the traps leading into the room, but the skeletons and I did. Darts flew down the hall and impacted harmlessly on the skeletons. A blade came up from the floor but I managed to dodge it. The heretic and Kisara stayed near the entrance as I moved up with the skeletons. The arrows Adooris fired at it did nothing, the spears from the skeletons did nothing, and my acid breath did nothing to it. The only one of us that seemed to have any effect on the gnome was Kisara with her lightning spells. It didn't seem as if the lighting was actually doing any damage to it, as if it was merely slowing it down.

It started throwing potions, at me and at the ground it was standing on, lighting both of us on fire. It then moved faster than I could react directly in front of me. I could see into it's eyes and saw nothing but a crazed fury staring back at me. I could see it's flesh charring and I could smell it burning. Terrified and on fire, I did the only reasonable thing I could think of at that moment and ran away as far as I could. I commanded the skeletons to charge it from behind, but they seemed to only do minimal damage to it. It then disappeared, right in front of us. I used the few seconds of peace we had to take a health potion offered by Kisara and quickly drank it.

Kisara fired some spell into the room and it sent out a shock wave and I heard it smash onto the ground. Adooris ate a cupcake and said something in celestial. It summoned something, a shadowy figure. I didn't know what it was, but whatever it was it helped us kill the damned gnome. The heretic advanced into the room with her bow drawn and the gnome thing appeared and swung it's fists at her. She dodged and fired her notched arrow at it, hitting the thing directly in the mouth.

With an arrow sticking out of the back of it's throat it stumbles backwards and collapses. Then the clockwork gnome's corpse started ticking and the room filled with mist. Kisara and I ran out of the room as fast as we could. Adooris did not do that for some reason. I was too busy running away to really know or care what the heretic was doing. The explosion went off behind us as we ran.

As I caught my breath I noticed that Adooris wasn't with us. Kisara went to go check on her. I knew something was wrong when she started casting spells into the room. As I looked inside, I found Kisara hanging back and Adooris struggling with the tied up gnome cleric. It seems the cleric had somehow slipped some of her bindings and was talking to another gnome, a wizard I think. A wave of color came through the mist and struck Adooris. I watched her collapse and the wizard hand something to the cleric.

Kisara fired a spell into the two of them as I ran into the room to save the heretic. I'd die before I'd watch another of our tribe die. Kisara's spell had knocked the mage to the ground. As I reached Adooris I found that she was just unconscious. I dragged her out of the Temple and ordered the skeletons that the two gnomes had ignored to charge the them. One of them skewers the mage and the other knocks the cleric out again.

A few minutes later Adooris woke up no worse for wear. I tied the gnome cleric again, more securely this time. As the adrenaline starts to wear off, I studied the room. The walls were covered in carved murals smashed to pieces by the gnomes. The floors were a beautiful mosaic, left mostly undamaged except for light battle damage. The clockwork gnome's corpse sparked and crackled as it burned.
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We continued further into the Temple and found every mural smashed and every statue toppled. My hatred for the gnome grew with every one we find. We approached the altar to Kurtulmak. It was undamaged but the statue of Kurtulmak was knocked over. On the floor was the tribe's All-Watcher, Wiivai, and all the acolytes of the Temple. They died spear in hand. I said a quick prayer for them and continued on to the treasury. I quickly found out how to open the door without triggering any traps and we entered.

In the back of the room, behind the treasures the gnomes trying to steal, we found what we were looking for. Two levers labeled "Do not touch." One was for the collapsing living quarters and one was for collapsing the main hall. I said a quick prayer, hoping that any survivors have already left, then pulled the lever for the main hall. There was an explosion somewhere and it felt how I imagine an earthquake would feel. When it stopped, Adooris pulled the lever for the living quarters. The lever was harder to pull than the other. The explosion this time was much louder. It deafened and knocked all three of us to the ground. We brought the whole mine down on the damned gnomes. As Garl collapsed Darastrixhurthi upon Kurtulmak we collapsed our home upon the followers of Garl. They had invaded our home and killed our people. They will all share the same tomb.

We went back to the altar and I set the gnome cleric down on it. I cut her bindings and locked her legs and arms into the manacles on the altar. I grabbed the sacrificial knife and went to work. I cut open her clothing exposing her torso. I knife almost slipped out of my hand as I shake with anger. I felt the righteous hatred of Kurtulmak flow through me as I stabbed the knife below her rib cage. She awoke with a scream. I continued my work and made the cut larger and larger. I reached my hand into her chest cavity and messily tore out her heart. She didn't stop screaming until she bled out. I set the heart down on the altar and left the knife next to it. I stepped back from the altar and watched as the blood ran out of her wound, down the side of the altar and filled the symbol of Kurtulmak carved into the stone floor.

We stood together and the ceiling started raining blood upon us. It was a miracle. As the blood covered us I felt a power flowing through me. It must've been the work of Kurtulmak himself. I could see as the fallen statue materialized into Kurtulmak. He had appeared before me. Honestly, I froze. I had no idea what to do. He got up and stabbed his spear into the altar. He approached me and complimented me on the sacrifice. He asked what I wanted of him. I couldn't speak. It took a few seconds for me respond. I then answered honestly. I wanted him to protect what's left of our tribe from anything that would do us harm. He granted my wish and left. The statue crumbled into dust, but the spear remained.

After he left, I inspected the spear that was left beind. It didn't crumble to dust as the rest of the statue did, in fact it looked to be very ornate. I grabbed it and felt it's power. I knew what this weapon was. It was a holy relic, The Skewer of Gnomes. I pulled it from the altar then a prayer for those lost. We grabbed what treasures and equipment we could carry and took escape tunnel that lead to the surface. I led the way searching for traps in our path. I found some and others I didn't, but it didn't matter. Any traps we triggered didn't activate. Kurtulmak was watching over us.

Eventually we came to the exit. It was simple, a ladder leading up to a trap door. Through the door I could see light leaking into the tunnel. I climbed the ladder and pushed the trapdoor up. It was held in place by vines that had grown over it, but with enough force the vines gave and the door opened. I was blinded by the light that shone down upon me. Casting a spell to extinguish the light did nothing to lessen it's brightness. It must've been the sun. I'd never seen it before, it was certainly the brightest light that could ever exist.

I climbed out and after a few minutes of adjusting to the light I looked around, and then I looked up. That was a mistake. I felt as if I would fall into the sky, a giant never ending pit that had no bottom. I quickly decided to look around instead. Grasslands, hills, mountains and forests surrounded us. We rested for a bit in the cave as we decided what we'd do next.
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Splendid logs. I have a decent understanding of your perspectives now.
Take your bonus action points as usual. Everyone should have 6 + 1 bonus, for level 3.
>She heard him call out his wish. And soon her eyes where fixed on his in astonishment. A totally selfless wish uttered on his lips.
Really quite the based moment from Vyth there, I gotta say.
>Where we last left off, the Spawncampers were camping inside their cave and distributing the shinies

>The initial part of the session was mainly just inventory management, but that's something important that has to be accounted for until we get a bag of holding or two, but something notable is that Kisara got a +2 to charisma in exchange for a -2 to wisdom from the gnominator we killed
>Adooris would've too, but denied the chance so she wouldn't be dumping anything still
>we finally leave the cave for good, stepping out into the Dragon's Cradle and surveying our surroundings and a map that Wiivai had
>Turns out that despite being in the middle of what's officially gnome territory, there's all sorts of other kobold tribes around!
>With plenty of friendlies nearby, we should have no problems eventually laying waste to the gnomish population
>However, there's more pressing matters at hand: regrouping with what survivors we can find and getting ourselves ready to face this wider, scarier world
>So, we decide to set up on rocky outcrop and smoke/roast gnome nun's remains for food
>While doing this, we also hope that the smell will attract any friendlies nearby and also make some smoke signals from the fire to telegraph our presence more
>After a while of sitting and waiting, we do actually hear some yipping nearby!
>Vyth goes out to investigate this, and he does end up seeing some figures out in the darkness
>Problem is, they're way too big to be kobolds or gnomes
>Vyth tactically shits himself back to base and warns us, so we have time to set up some traps and protect our food as well
>By the time these things get here, we're hiding in our camp and hoping they just fuck off after seeing nobody's home
>It's at this point that we finally see what they are, and it's a bunch of big hairy animalistic humanoids stalking around with hyenas
>It's gnolls
>Not that our characters know what gnolls are or I know what gnolls do, but I do at least know that it's gnolls!
>Anyway, one of the hyenas sniffs our roasted gnome, but it gets a bit too close and one of our spear traps impales it for some good damage
>The gnolls take notice of this and become fully alerted to us, one of them moves in towards us but gets speared by another of our traps
>Adooris, being the first of us to properly respond to this incursion, throws a ditherbomb without cooking it, so it does nothing (for now)
>The wounded hyena, slighted by our arrogance for hitting it with a trap, charges us down and gets impaled again like a dummy
>Kisara attempts to put it down with some lightning, misses horribly, and then Vyth picks up the slack and kills the hyena
>One of the gnolls follows the now-dead hyena into the cave and chucks a net onto Adooris for some reason?
>Adooris blinks out of it immediately though so it effectively did nothing, and follows up by attacking the healthy hyena
>Also, the bomb finally goes off and wounds the hyena and cave gnoll respectively
>Kisara/Vyth work together to finish off the hyena and kill one of the gnolls too
>The gnolls, sensing their tactical disadvantage now that all of their meatshields and one of their own is dead, do the sensible thing and retreat
>That gnoll gets chewed out by his superiors which now enter the fray, and Kisara takes the moment to test her fancy new helmet and cast her first level 3 spell!
>The ensuing lightning bolt fries one gnoll and knocks another down, forcing him to waste a turn
>The fried gnoll tries to retaliate against Vyth, misses horribly, and is unceremoniously killed
>The remaining gnolls retreat away from the cave entrance and chug potions to heal themselves, so we get a free round to finish tooling around
>Adooris, who got netted again at some point, starts cutting herself free
>Kisara breaks out the caltrops wand and traps the doorway
>Vyth uses his new kickass spear that has the ability to cast spells to stab and cast inflict moderate wounds against a gnoll, killing it instantly
>There's a big show made about it, with Vyth literally tearing its still-beating heart out, and everybody gets a kick out of it
>Kisara does what she always does and casts lightning again, hurting the last gnoll again
>The gnoll tries to hit Vyth, but misses horribly (probably because the bitch was crying over its entire party being killed in front of it)
>Adooris also does some more stuff and Kisara, surprise surprise, does the same thing she always does
>However, because I wasn't paying attention to the fight, I didn't take a 5-foot step first and let Kisara eat an attack which, of course, crits
>Given how this attack would outright kill her due to the piles of damage and Kisara's fairly squishy nature, the DM lets me panic cast Wings of Protection to save my own ass
>Another round goes by without any problems now that I've remembered to take 5-foot steps, and everything's dead but us
>Alright, time to loot!
>As it turns out, these gnolls were slavers trying to capitalize on the attack that the Spawncamper tribe just suffered, so there are some kobolds in bags that they had!
>We rescue them, and we all check to see if we recognize them
>Adooris recognizes someone who bullied her (iirc), and one's recognized as a stuck up bitch who slighted Kisara in the past
>That one's going to get stepped on so hard when it wakes up
>But that's in the future, and for now there's the pressing issue of a bunch of corpses polluting our space
>We solve this problem by field-stripping one gnoll for eating purposes and then disposing the remaining corpses elsewhere
>We also quench the fire and opt to settle down for the night, allowing for some RP
>Kisara and Vyth argue about gnome being the best meat to eat, and then both of them try to get Adooris to eat something before she collapses from hunger, which eventually she begrudgingly does

Another fun session, I hope the next one goes well (and that I don't forget any more 5-foot steps, especially when my dumbassery nearly costs me my life.) See you all next week!

The area around had patches of gravel and rocks and trees. I couldn't speak for any of my companions, but I had never been on the surface before. It was too wide open, there were too many places to be attacked from, there were too many scents to tell what or where anything is and the sun was far too bright than it had any right to be. It was strange and it was dangerous. I already missed the underground.

The tunnel we had climbed out of collapsed behind us. It must've been Kurtulmak himself that held it up. We had taken all we could from the treasury. Anything we left behind was now covered in layers of rock and earth. We had now lost our home forever, but we weren't aimless.

We had decided to look for any survivors and then try and find another kobold tribe. There was a rival tribe nearby and even though our tribe wasn't friendly with theirs it was probably the safest bet we had.

Both of my companions had contracted... something. I wasn't sure what it was. In any sense of the word. Their scales looked more vibrant than usual, and Kisara started acting more impulsive. We were under the protection of Kurtulmak so it probably wasn't too terrible, hopefully. I will pray for their health.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to listen to Kisara. Her idea was to, instead of scouring the local area for days upon days, light a fire and cook the sacrifice creating the smell of cooking gnome and hopefully it would lure any kobolds in the area to us. This was a terrible idea, but after losing almost everything I held dear and being thrust into an unfamiliar world I wasn't thinking clearly.

It was dusk by the time we had found a small cave nearby and started the fire outside it. We set the gnome to cook and waited. I heard something off in the distance, a yapping sound. I went to go investigate and stealthily found a vantage point. I found a group coming towards us, a group of things far too large to be kobolds with some four-legged creatures with them. I ran back to our encampment and we prepared. We used a wand of create trap and trapped the fire, then moved to the back of the cave and trapped the entrance to it. We waited for what seemed like hours but was probably just minutes. They approached the fire and I could see what they were, gnolls with some hyenas with them.

One of the hyenas triggered the trap by the fire. The hyenas rushed into our traps and we cut them down. One of the gnolls threw a net over Adooris and she did some heretical magic to escape it. We injured one of the gnolls and the two of them fell back and stated yapping at each other. Whatever it was they were speaking about, it didn't save them in the end. We advanced outside and slew them all. I threw The Skewer of Gnomes and it was as if my aim was guided by Kurtulmak himself. The spear struck true and came back to me having brought the creatures heart back with it. One of the gnolls threw another net on Adooris before it died. They were no match for us, except the last one. It charged at us ferociously and did manage to heavily wound not only me but Kisara too, but in the end it died like the rest.

We recovered for a bit and put the fire out when we discovered some sacks the gnolls were carrying. We cut them open and found some kobolds they had captured. It was good to see some more of us survived, but they were bruised and beaten. I didn't personally recognize any of them, but my companions did. We brought them into the cave and settled down for the night. I tended to everyone's wounds as best as I could and discovered that I had a taste for gnoll and that Kisara and Adooris were sisters. I was surprised at this considering how different they looked, but I didn't bring it up. Adooris refused to eat anything for some reason. We had a journey ahead of us and now with eight mouths to feed I feared we didn't have the food and water on hand to make it. At least we have some more help if we get into any more fights. I thanked Kurtulmak for his help in the battle today and tried to sleep. I was kept awake for awhile by the thought of being ambushed while I slept. I eventually fell into a dreamless sleep.
Kisara's Player, the Briefly Illness-Stricken
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>Where we last left off, the party killed some gnolls/hyenas and rescued a group of other kobolds!

>We pick back up after a rest while we wait for our new friends to wake up
>When they finally do, we do our best to pass on our knowledge of the situation to them
>Also, Kisara takes the opportunity to dunk on the kobold that called her lazy back in their previous lives
>After everybody's awake, rations are gathered, and weapons are donned, we begin our journey!
>Our plan as it stands is to head for another burrow in the mountains where another friendly group of kobolds is located
>Fortuitously, it passes by a human town on the way so we'll hopefully be able to swindle more supplies out of them
>We start on our journey, and we're barely an hour in when a bigass dragon flies somewhat close by where we just were
>It's not a chromatic dragon, and it's definitely not a metallic dragon either
>That winged abomination is an adamantine dragon, a bastardized creation of Garl Glittergold himself
>Yeah, we're getting the fuck out of here and we're doing it now
>We continue on our journey undisturbed until we finally approach the wonderful town of humanville!
>There's a bunch of people waiting in a line to get in, so we have time to formulate a plan to get in while we wait
>We eventually decide on putting Kisara in a business suit while Adooris and Vyth pose as her guards to make us seem like big important kobolds
>In the meantime though, we witness another kobold running away from the guards
>Adooris goes to help him while Kisara, thoroughly offended by the humans turning away one of her kind, sneaks off to try to boobytrap some doorknobs inside the town
>Kisara's plan is shot down immediately though when a guard sees her approach the wall and immediately glare at her
>Adooris, however, finds success as that kobold happens to be a quest hook!
>Vyth holds our place in line though while the rest of us ran off just in case, and the other kobolds opted to stay with him
>Eventually we make it to the front of the line, and through good diplomacy we're allowed to at least talk to the guards and not get run off by the human supremacists
>The guards, amused by Kisara's getup and un-koboldlike politeness, tell us about a nearby stream to get some water from since we can't directly enter the village for supplies
>In exchange, we inform them of the adamantine dragon and the potential threat it could hold
>They shrug it off though, and hopefully they won't be forced to witness how stupid they were for laughing at that threat
>Once we're on the road again, a bunch of bandits ambush us but are quickly routed because we're a bit more heavily armed than the average group of wandering retards
>And to cap off this day, we find a tavern by the side of the road!
>We decide to stop in and are pleasantly surprised to find that nobody there is angry at us
>The innkeeper does glare at Kisara and Vyth though, probably had the ability to detect evil or something
>We manage to get some information out of him and some of the other taverngoers and purchase some more palatable rations for Adooris, since she's still above eating what we kill
>We unfortunately can't sleep in the tavern though as it's completely booked, so we camp outside and continue on our way for this quest
>Today's the day that we get to the mine, so it's time to finally do this thing!
>The first thing we do is find a secret entrance hidden within a chasm
>Going in without any intel is suicide though, so we question our quest kobold about what kind of troglodyte forces we're up against
>He gives us an estimate of about 10, so it'll be a little challenging based on our last encounter but still completely doable (especially with our now inflated numbers)
>With no other barriers to entry, we break into the secret entrance and find a room with a winch and a mineshaft
>Being the intelligent lizzers we are, we opt to go down the winch hole
>Adooris goes first down the rope we left, Kisara literally jumps down after her with a command of "Catch me!", and Vyth is the next down before all the NPCs file in
>There's a lotta water at the bottom of it, and another tunnel leading off to who knows where
>There's something large in front of the tunnel too, which is ominous
>And to make matters worse, a bigass beetle crawls out from behind it
>As it turns out, the large thing is another, even bigger beetle too (from what I remember, I could be wrong)
>However, since the beetles seem to be ignoring us, we just give them a wide berth and go around them to the north
>This tunnel then leads to another area, one filled with kobolds!
>This catches us offguard, especially since our questbold is cowering at the sight of his kin
>We don't immediately fight anyone though, since that would be fucking stupid
>Instead, we talk things out like civil adults and a whole bunch of pieces start falling into place
>The questbold was wearing a fake beard when we found him, and he refused to take it off until we forced him to
>He ran to a human settlement for help instead of seeking out another tribe of kobolds
>This used to officially be a dwarf mine
>And the dwarves were trying to psyop the kobolds into working for them through a brainwashed puppet leader
>This kobold thinks he's a FUCKING DWARF
>Everybody starts laughing at him for this and both sides of kobolds start bullying him and tying him up to presumably execute him for his dumbassery
>Kisara, however, has seen enough kobolds die senselessly in her short life, so she steps in with the best "come to your senses" speech she can think of
Kisara's Player, the Briefly Illness-Stricken

>"You will never be a real dwarf. You have no beard, you have no forges, you have no mine. You are a kobold twisted by propaganda into a crude mockery of what you should be."
>"All the 'validation' you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your 'friends' laugh at your pitiful nature behind closed doors."
>"Dwarves are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed them to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even if you 'passed', you would still look uncanny and unnatural to them. Your scales are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get their approval, any dwarf will turn tail and bolt the second he has to actually do something for you."
>"You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight."
>"Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a sword, raise it above your head, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a kobold is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably reptilian."
>"This is your fate. This is what you chose. This is your one chance to turn back. Take it or perish."
>>(Note: this probably isn't exactly as I said it, but it's pretty similar in effect)
>By the end of Kisara's speech, the entire party is laughing and the DM gives me an enormous bonus to diplomacy for this piece of artwork and has me roll to see if it works
>Natural fucking twenty
>This poor kobold is suplexed through all five stages of grief at once, the sheer magnitude of the speech breaking him beyond any potential seething and leaving only coping
>With that settled, we enter a civil discussion with the chief of the Skullcrushers and inform him of the adamantine dragon as well
>He takes that news hard, but we manage to calm him down a bit by agreeing to rescue some kobolds who were also imprisoned by the troglodytes
>In exchange, we drop off all of our rescuees for safekeeping
>And that's where the session ended

Another fun game, and I look forward to what happens next week! See you all then!
>Power Word: DILATE
Kisara's Player, the Briefly Illness-Stricken
An artist's rendition of Kisara in her business suit disguise (forgive the 90 degree rotation, it's not present in the actual image and rotating it in editors does nothing to fix the problem)
Kisara's Player, the Briefly Illness-Stricken
no, I saved it onto my computer
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we blasted a kobold who thought he was a dwarf with Powerword: Dilate and agreed to rescue some more kobolds for the Skullcrusher Tribe

>With our new goal in place, we enter burrow further to make our way towards the true objective
>We find a shaft that apparently dwarves were throwing kobolds down, and Adooris climbs it before hauling the rest of us up on Tenser's Floating Disk
>We next find a pool with an upturned boat, and again Adooris does the legwork of getting to it and flipping it over
>Kisara mendings it though, so now it's actually seaworthy and ready for a group of kobolds to cram into it
>We sail across with our guide, Chief Ukri, and move ahead towards our goals again
>Halfway across the lake though, we're ambushed by Troglodytes
>They aren't hard to kill, but they do prove annoying in making us waste some of our resources against them
>We do kill them though, so our passage to the opposite shore is once again unobstructed
>Once out of the boat, we go through more passages until we find a room with troglodytes, kobolds and a dwarf
>Once again, we kill the troglodytes and rescue the kobolds
>The dwarf though, she runs, hides in a closet, fights horribly, and dies hilariously soon
>We organize the kobolds, but another trog is soon found being chased by some dwarves and more kobolds down an adjacent hallway and into the room we're in!
> We kill the troglodyte and then the dwarves now that they turn on us after the troglodyte's dead
>The kobolds are then properly organized, so we all go further in to find more troglodytes, kobolds, and dwarfs
>Again, we kill the troglodytes, rescue kobolds, and this time capture dwarfs!
>We're OOC discussing possible melee weapons for Kisara right now in the session, so she calls forward one of the dwarves who used to run a forge and orders him to make a copper whip for her
>The next room we get to though has a fun surprise: A minecart on a track!
>We and a bunch of the other kobolds spend some time fucking around on the minecart, hoping to lure out the troglodyte boss in the process after he yells at us to stop fucking around
>Eventually we have to move on though, since he eventually gives up on getting us to stop
>Our last stop though is a room containing more kobolds, dwarves, and troglodytes
>However, it also has this weird cloaked dude with red eyes bossing around everyone
>He sees us before we get to them, so we're left on the spot to think of a plan
>Kisara tries to bluff him into giving us the benefit of the doubt, but that really doesn't work
>Plan B, it's fighting time!
>Kisara leads off with a well-placed lightning bolt that vaporizes the troglodytes, and something happens to the dwarves (I forgot)
>Cloak dude summons an elemental though, and it goes after Kisara immediately
>The party drops what they were doing to help me, and the elemental dies
>With everything else dead, our accumulated mob of rescued kobolds charge cloaked dude under Ukri's leadership
>They instantly fucking murder him, a literal single round is all that this mysterious monster lasts against this mob of 34 kobolds
>After that, the session ends

Good session, good fight, apparently there was a zombie dwarf in there somewhere that I completely missed but oh well! I hope to see the friendly kobolds all rescued and brought home next session.
a door is 8 bit.png
The trip to the caves of this bearded bold was a long and confusing one for adooris. lacking human compatriots, it became difficult for them to enter the town they had found the kobold in, but she absolved the human supremacists for their worship of some form of human god. She too had a deity for her own kind, and doubted humanoids would be welcome at the spawncampers in return, even if she was getting tired of burning so much mana lugging around their gear. When they made for the home of the kobold, she had helped them bust in, catching kisara in the most flaring fashion. She held no passion for her sister in arms, none the less, it wasn't unnessiary to keep her charming princess carrying skills sharp. With a brush of her cloak, she set a very coping and seething kisara down to her feet. Ever one to exault herself rather than others, she was quick to put down the improper kobold no matter her accomplishments. Adooris paid it little mind, but in the discussions with the tribal leader they soon found with the bearded kobold, Adooris's naive and humanoid centric memories made her the last to figure out the truth about said bearded kobold.

By the time kisara was finished rendering the kobold his fate, adooris could tell it might have been about as severe a lashing as a dwarven axewound. Even she wasn't immune, but, consoling herself, adooris reminded, she did not reject her status as a kobold. Indeed her true body had changed little, but adooris had plenty of kobold memories to reference, she wasn't crazy. Surely. As they figured out their next steps, adooris and her party ventured forth into the mines. These weapon focused troglodytes they fought where little danger compared to the ones who had surrounded them and did their level best to pick them up and chomp on them alive in their own caves. With adooris and vyth running interference, from boats to caverns, they fought their way through. At last they finally entered the mine proper. Tracks and a mining fascility was quickly rendered under their control due to their swift execution of the upper shafts troglodyte leader. The rescued kobolds and chief and the dwarf they had "Saved" quickly errupted into a fight and ambush.

Adooris couldn't believe what was more stupid, the way her party was slaying potential bargaining chips to deny the gnomes their regiment, or the fact that the lone dwarf decided they where not afraid to charge some 4 kobolds who had slaughtered the troglodytes she had only minutes before been terrified of. This bad joke was punctuated with her tripping and being slain directly after calling out to the dwarf this exact thing. Then that same joke seemed set on a loop as different encounters had worn away adooris's sanity. By the time they had discovered the mine carts, adooris was ready for fun. brain likely soaked with her own stroked hemoraging from the stupidity of every humanoid involved in the violence behind her, she practically salivated at the idea of quiting her analytical mind and giving into the kobold instincts that said "line go down" in the best way possible. But what was a market crash without a pump?

Hidden in a corner room in that very same smithy with the carts and tracks, were wrapped copper ingots in red ribbons. Adooris fell on her knees then and there. In the privacy of her own scouting, she combed through the ingots, swiftly confiscating as many of them as she could get in a reasonable time frame. Leaving the ingots where they lay, she drew forth the perloined Serena's holy symbol. She didn't have any way to wear it normally now, but she tied it onto her tail and her cloak one each. Feeling more whole than she had in her years as a kobold, she offered a brief first prayer to her goddess.

"Once again my love
Watching over little me;
violet lizard."

She finished her celestial haiku and moved on to meet her party with a smile, even the brutish behavior unable to crush her spirits. They rode the mine carts down, and beyond that, rode it several times, all for the joy of it. Fill the halls of this cave with cheer, to undo the misery of the dwarves, kobolds, and troglodytes alike. But everything changed when the shadow nation attacked. behind the largest door a booming and intelligent voice had seethed at them, and adooris and her party where quick to match the creature. However, it was no simple clash. This being was a powerful magician, flanked by zombies and troglodytes, the shadowey figure menecaed them as though even his allies where insignificant. Adooris wasn't sure what to do next, but one thing she was certain of was that if she allowed the chargers or the caster to get through her, the back lines of the kobolds they saved would be slaughtered. she smiled, drawing a flash bang from her pouch. The familiar weight of it's pin being pulled operated the dwarven alchemy, lobbing it, it burst right at the feet of the creature, robbing the shadow of its sight. As her allies rained lightning and holy power against the undead and troglodytes, the tribal leader of these mines rallied the kobolds in one final charge against the enemy. in practically one fell swoop, they had eviscerated the enemy with adooris's teamwork. It was a well earned victory, and felt, for the first time in a long while, like adooris was finally finding her purpose. Rather than senselessly slaughtering humanoids, she was taking out these nefarious shadows. An unusual opponent for an even more unusual kobold. glancing slyly at her gem beneath her cloak, she felt a bit brighter already.

A cold-blooded celebration.
We broke camp and continued onwards. I learned the names of the five kobolds we rescued. They were Zags, Ruv, Dum, Mott and Snogla. Kisara seemed particularly set on antagonizing one of them. It seems they have a history.

Zags was leading us to our destination, anywhere we can rest for a bit. A human village was the closest place to do so. Then we heard it. A loud roaring behind us. I stared in horror and awe as I saw it fly through the air. It was an adamantine dragon. Out of all the things it could've been it just had to be a fucking adamantine dragon. It was big, angry and had very large claws. Some of the kobolds we rescued seemed to not be aware of adamantine dragons, so I slapped them on the back of the head and told them. Needless to say, we ran as fast as we could in the other direction. We ran, and ran, and ran. We didn't stop until the roaring could only barely be heard. We continued on silent, any merriment we might have felt was long gone.

We had eventually reached the village. Kisara joked about it calling it "Humanville." It was a small walled settlement. I don't think it could really be called a village. We came up with some half-assed plan to disguise ourselves to get in and waited in the line. Kisara put on some magical clothing that looked like a business suit. As we waited the guards kicked a kobold out. He was a chubby little reddish-black bastard and he was wearing a fake beard. He ran away and Adooris chased after him. Kisara left to try and go sneak in some other way. I sighed as they both ran off and kept our place in line. The other kobolds stayed with me.

Adooris was the first back with the other kobold. I learned his name was Akara and that his people were having some trouble with some big stinky lizards. Troglodytes, I hated troglodytes. They were in some copper mine, which sounded promising. Wiivai talked about a local tribe out of a copper mine in his journal. At least I think it said that, the damned thing seemed to be written in code, backwards sometimes, nonsense at other times and had more than one author. Kisara returned soon after looking guilty about something. I didn't ask and didn't want to know. If you'd imagine it, they turned us away. I silently prayed for Kurtulmak to burn this village down for the way they treated Akara. They pointed us towards a well outside the village so we could fill up on water before we moved on wards.

There was something I didn't like about Akara. He wasn't acting right and he wore that stupid fake beard. Was he magically changing his appearance? Was he leading us into a trap? I admit I might've been a bit paranoid. I confronted him about it and told him to take it off. He was reluctant but he eventually did it, while looking the other way. I spun him around and looked him right in the eyes. He shrunk away from my gaze. He seemed to be trustworthy enough, but for some reason wanted to keep wearing that fake beard.

We were ambushed by bandits on the way, but they ran away when they saw we weren't as easy of prey as they'd like. We came upon a tavern on the side of the road. Kisara and Adooris went and got some information. The people inside never heard about any kobolds in a copper mine, but the did hear of some dwarves in one. Dwarves, I hated dwarves. Maybe things were a bit more complicated then we were first led to believe.

The mine was right on the other side of a river and the bridge leading across was smashed. We saw what seemed to be another entrance in the water on our side. It was locked and bolted shut. We considered just digging through the earth above it, but instead we poured some acid down on it from on top of the ledge. The grate swung down into the water, opening the path for us. We jumped down into the water and walked into the mine's secret entrance. The only thing in the room was a mine shaft leading down.

The only way forward was to climb down. Adooris and Kisara both fell when trying to climb down, but I successfully made it without landing flat on my ass. There was a giant beetle at the bottom eating the corpse of another beetle. We slipped past it and came to room filled with water. There were some boats on the other side of the room. Adooris swam over and got one so the rest of us didn't have to. I'm not good at it and neither is Kisara, and really the water was freezing.

We eventually found the tribe Akara was looking for. They didn't look to happy to see him, and us if we were with him. The leader of the band of kobolds said they were the outcasts from the mine. The kobolds have been slaves to the dwarves that worked there. It all made sense when Akara said these weren't his people. Kisara got it first. "He thinks he's a dwarf!" The three of us burst out laughing at Akara. He shrunk away from the attention and the other group of kobolds tied him up. They ripped off his fake beard and seemed like they were going to kill him. Then Kisara walks over and tells him what he needed to hear, the truth. He seemed to go through all seven stages of grief as she told him what he already knew. Hopefully she set him back on the right path and his soul can still be saved.

The Rock Crusher tribe, as they were called, hadn't been here long. It consisted of a few rooms that were probably just recently enlarged. There were no traps and they had more eggs than kobolds here. They weren't ready for any sort of trouble that usually befalls our kind.

After that small misunderstanding we were welcomed by the tribal leader, Ukri. He was a shaman and had a weasel familiar. He told us about Akara. He was taken by the dwarves as an egg and raised to be one of them. It was a plan by the dwarves to better control their kobold slaves. I barely managed to keep calm throughout his story. I explained our situation to him and warned him of the adamantine dragon that had flew over the Dragon's Cradle. Ukri seemed perturbed at the news. He offered to merge our tribes which I denied, at least for now. He explained that the dwarves have been enslaved by the trogolodytes in the rest of the mine, along with a few kobolds. It seems we still had some kobolds to save.

We have a mine to clear, but we needed a guide. Ukri offered to lead us himself and we accepted his offer. After just a short break we were off to kill some troglodytes. In the back of this old mine, there was mine shaft that led upwards. It was here that the dwarves would throw any troublemakers. There was a pile of small bones at the bottom. I physically shook with rage for a few seconds, not that I could've done anything at that time. It seems not everyone survived the fall down. I whispered a short prayer over their resting place, hopefully they're with Kurutlmak now.

Adooris climbed the shaft with an unnatural grace. She used an artifact we found to create a disk and lift the rest of us up to the platform above. The next room was filled with water, too deep for us to walk through. We spotted a sunken boat on the bottom of the pool that looks like it could be repaired. Adooris fished it up and Kisara fixed it with a spell.

On the boat we traveled onward through the sunken mine. The water was broken by stalagmites and stalactites. We were silent, the only thing breaking the silence was the rowing of the oars. Not that our silence helped, we were still ambushed by some trogolodytes and some flying lizard things. The troglodytes pelted us with javelins as the flying lizards would land on our faces and bite and claw us. Adooris killed the bastard that landed on her and Ukri stabbed the one attacking me as Kisara tossed spells at the troglodytes. Even if their smell made us sick, their ambush didn't last long against us. They were all either fried by lighting or skewered. Unfortunately for us they smelled worse dead than alive.

Back on dry land we tied the boat up to a stalagmite and followed Ukri. He was worked by the dwarves for years but hasn't been here since the troglodytes took over. He led us past another water filled cave and to another mine shaft leading up. This one was much easier to scale than any others we've used since coming here. There were two paths, one that went further down into the mine and the other leading to the entrance. We decided to check the entrance too. Ukri and I sneaked on ahead while Kisara and Adooris stayed behind. In the room were three kobolds cooking something, 4 troglodytes eating at a table, and a dwarf running on a wheel.

Kisara and Adooris moved up when we signaled to them and one of them tripped over something. The troglodytes turned towards us suddenly but we responed before they could do much. Using Kurtulmak's power I released acid breath over the group. Ukri had a similar idea and used his fire breath along with his familiar. Three of the troglodytes died immediately, but the fourth one was pissed. The kobolds looked confused and the dwarf ran for the door. Ukri shouted at the kobolds in the room about a change in management. They pulled knives and joined us. The last troglodyte didn't last long enough to do much. I threw my unholy relic at the dwarf and hit it, but not hard enough to incapacitate it. The damned dwarf would get what's coming to it.

It ran into another room and shut the door behind it. Ukri ordered the kobolds into position around the door, noting that it was the only exit to the barracks. After a few moments the dwarf burst out of the room with a massive axe, but it didn't get to use it. It tripped on something and Ukri stabbed it through the head, killing it.

We spend a few minutes looting the room when we hear a group coming down the hallway. A troglodyte, a couple of kobolds and a few dwarves. Ukri shouts at the kobolds and they turn on the troglodyte. We kill it easily and Ukri wants to kill the dwarves. One of them tries to break free, but they're all cut down soon after. It was justice. How long had they suffered under the dwarves. How many kobolds had been worked to death or killed because they weren't working hard enough. I remember the pile of bones earlier. It wasn't a small pile. I remember how the dwarves worked with the gnomes to kill our tribe too. I must admit I took pleasure at helping to kill the bearded bastards. I noticed how the heretic wasn't too pleased with the treatment the dwarves deserved.

We finished looking through the stuff here, there were a ton of copper bars wrapped in ribbons and some other things that weren't worth our time. Adooris took a couple of the ribbons and tied them to herself. Maybe she just liked the way they looked.

I briefly considered not taking the mine carts to go deeper in the mine. I ignored my common sense because the mine carts looked really fun. All of us rushed towards the carts, but a few kobolds got left behind. We sped down the tracks. Cheering as we went. It was just as fun as I imagined. We came to a sudden stop as we hit a stopper. Two troglodytes were there, but they were no match for eight kobolds. We killed them fast then removed the stopper faster. We jumped in the carts again and sped deeper into the mine. This time we hit a wall. It shook us all up some. We get out of the cart a bit dizzy and light headed as we hear a voice shouting at us that the mine carts aren't toys, but nobody came to check on us. So we decided to do it again to get them to come out. We pushed the mine carts back and this time let the two who missed the first ride to go. We raced down the tracks this time and smashed into the wall again. The voice said something else, but I don't remember what it was. It probably wasn't too important as we pushed the carts back up and went for a third ride. The voice gave up at this point trying to yell at us.

At that point I decided that we had probably done enough goofing around for now and got us back on track. Some troglodytes finally came to investigate and we killed them after they told us to get back to work. We continued on into the mines and came across a large room with a number of kobolds working and troglodytes guarding some shadowy figure with glowing red eyes. Kisara tried to bullshit our way closer to it, but it wasn't buying any of it and ordered it's minions to charge. Adooris, thinking fast, blinded the thing. Kisara killed the trogolodytes charging at us. The dwarves here weren't actually alive so I rebuked them. They stopped dead in their tracks. We survived against the shadowy thing long enough for Ukri to rally the kobolds we had freed into charging it. They crashed upon him with a fury only freed slaves could muster. It seemed to be casting something but it's concentration was broken by the group of kobolds charging at it. It exploded into a large cloud of smoke and the only thing left was the armor it was wearing. Whatever it was is dead, at least for now.
Akara, """Honorary Dwarf""", left alone with the Rock rushers, who were specifically told not to eat him while the party went up into the upper mines.
Kisara's Player
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>Last we checked in with the Kool Kobold Koalition, we had just finished clearing out a mine and uniting the rock/stone/skullcrusher tribe with its lost remnants, also securing some dwarven captives

>Upon the death of the mysterious figure, we immediately investigate to see what's up
>We roll horribly, so all we know is that there's a bunch of illusion magic around to compliment the necromancy from the undead dwarves and whatever summoned the elemental
>We now think that the mysterious figure was two gnomes in a trench coat, so we look around for any stray naked gnomes and find nothing, sadly
>Oh well, with nothing else to do the rest of the kobolds start moving their eggs and other belongings from the downstairs to the new, freshly conquered upstairs!
>One of our dwarf captives also eagerly takes Kisara up on her deal of making her a copper whip in exchange for potential freedom
>He, who coincidentally was also the leader of the dwarves here, made a very nice whip for her that lived up to her expectations, so Kisara allowed him the ability to leave
>He expected to get the rest of his people out as well with it, so he was more than a little disappointed about needing to negotiate for the rest of them
>Kisara and Adooris do all the heavyweight negotiating, and my mouth moving faster than my brain made for some fun RP between Kisara, Adooris and Dane the Dwarf
>Meanwhile, Vyth is getting hammered with the rest of the new tribe and doing a good job at not falling over despite chugging an entire pint of dwarven ale
>He eventually comes in to check on the negotiations as well, and he puts in what input he wants before basically just following the plan that Kisara, Adooris and Dane already agreed upon
>Said plan was that the dwarves would go free in exchange for official ownership of the mine and the surrounding area, and that the dwarves would do their best to negotiate the retraction of dwarven support from the gnomes' war efforts
>Somewhere around this time, Akara sneaks in and is noticed by us
>Akara seems to want to be part of the negotiations, but Kisara tells him no because he's lurking around and still acting like a pansy git
>He and Dane start talking in dwarven and Kisara demands that the conversation stick to common, but Dane refuses despite the dorfguards pointing their pointy sticks at him
>They continue their conversation, though from what we can tell it's mostly just goodbyes
>Either way, Adooris starts roasting him about being a dishonest bastard and kidnapping Akara as just an egg and brainwashing him into the pitiful being he is now and Kisara backs her up for what it's worth
>Either way, these events happen in some order and afterwards Kisara and Adooris join Vyth in the partying while Dane joins his boys in the manlet pit
>The next day, the dwarves are released with enough supplies to get to Humanville and we snoop around the managerial office for the mine
>Turns out Dane was running the mine on a heavy defecit, incurring mounds of debt from incredibly predatory gnomish interest rates
>Judging by the fact that he was given a deadline of paying back a majority of the loan by the day that that mysterious figure arrived, I'd say we did him a favor
>Also, more fuel towards the figure being two gnomes in a trench coat
>Anyway, it was also fairly likely that the gnomes wanted something down that tunnel judging by how their debt collector was ordering everybody to dig that way, so we opt to continue the tunnel
>Along the way, we find a gnome-sized angry red minotaur wielding a meat cleaver for an axe
>The midgetaur does his best to kill us, but we kill him first and he disappears in the same way that the figure did when he died
>That illusion gnome's around here somewhere...
>Anyway, the tunnel's finished and properly boobytrapped alongside its entrance to the fucking underdark
>We also notice that this way is leading us towards another kobold tribe located in this area, so we decide to take the xxxx-crushers to them to link up the two tribes and solidify our position further
>And that's where we leave off, with two tribes about to meet and hopefully unite as the start of the Neo-Spawncampers!

Another fun session, I enjoyed the RP and the shenanigans it caused. I hope this week's session is just as fun, so I'll see you all on Sunday!
>Along the way, we find a gnome-sized angry red minotaur wielding a meat cleaver for an axe

Kisara's Player
Kisara having fun with the new toy that Dane so graciously made for her~

We herded all of the surviving dwarves into a pit. Some of the other kobolds seemed to have fun laughing at the dwarves being too short to climb out. Kisara got one of the dwarves to promise to make her a whip. He was named Dane and seemed to be the leader of the group. I didn't really care all that much. We couldn't really keep any dwarves as slaves without it being a drain on our resources. Kobolds are already great at mining and bad at fighting, so we'd probably have to keep more kobolds guarding them then the dwarves would match in mining power.

The celebration started later that day. Kisara and Adooris were missing, probably doing something boring while I was getting drunk. The alcohol calmed my nerves, maybe a bit too much. I admit, I might've drank a bit too much, but I poured a whole mug of ale so I was going to drink a whole mug of ale.

Feeling nauseous I stumbled out of the party, down the hall, and into the smelting room. Adooris, Kisara, Akara, and Dane were there. I saw Akara was still wearing that fake beard. I yelled at him to take it off. Dane didn't look to happy, but I didn't really notice or care. Something happened to what was left of my mug of ale, I'm not sure what. I agreed to whatever bullshit they were talking about and went for a few mine cart rides. It was fun, but the first ride down caused all the alcohol and food I ate to come back up. After each ride down Dane would pull us back up and we would ride down again. We did this a few times then went back to the party. I forgot what happened after that. I passed out.

I woke up on a table that was flipped over. Whatever happened it must've been a great time. I wasn't feeling it though. I felt like shit. We did have work to do today. We went down into the old mine and brought everything down there up to the main mine. Two of the females from our tribe were down there. Snogla was bullying Akara in a not entirely appropriate way. Ruv had laid three eggs recently. They were separated from the others. They might be reincarnations of some of our tribes great fighters and leaders that died recently.

We let the dwarves go with enough supplies to reach civilization and some pickaxes to defend themselves. Apparently I agreed to it when I was drunk. It doesn't really matter. It was either this or sacrifice for them and we didn't have an altar for that anyway. I let Akara say his goodbyes to Dane.

I went to translate more of Wiivai's journal when it started to make sense to me. I saw a flash of death and fighting. I felt like something was watching me, my heart rate increased and I reached for Kurtulmak's spear. I stopped and listened, nothing was around. I closed the book quickly and tried to calm my nerves.

We went through some of the paperwork that was left here by the dwarves. Ukri translated it for us, as none of us could read dwarven except for him. It seems Dane had taken a large loan from some gnomish house, The House of Zil. While the mine was making money it wasn't enough to pay off the loan he had taken. The large stash of copper here was to go towards paying it off. Whatever that shadowy figure was, it might've been connected to this House of Zil. The whole thing might've been an excuse to get the dwarves to 'accidentally' discover something they wanted. If this was the case, the dwarves obviously weren't working fast enough. You should never do any business with a gnome that doesn't involve killing it.

We decided to mine towards whatever that probably-gnome wanted. We mined for a few days until we hit a cave system. It split down two paths, one of them led into the underdark. We trapped it to collapse if anything came through and went down the other. The direction we were travelling was towards another kobold tribe. Whoever it is, they're simply labeled as 'Deserters' in Wiivai's journal. I made sure that Akara was put on mining duty with the rest of the kobolds. Working together is the best way to get kobolds to get to know each other, and I had to make sure he integrated into the tribe.

As the three of us were scouting ahead, we were attacked by a short minotaur. Even being small it still almost killed me and Kisara. It finally died after being struck by all of us. It's corpse disappeared in an explosion of smoke, similar to the shadowy figure a few days earlier.

The tunnel kept narrowing until it became just small enough for a kobold to squeeze through. There was a mural carved into the wall depicting a dragon. It was beautifully done and looked to be centuries old, maybe even older. The three of us decided we would scout ahead while the rest of the tribe camped here. They would station guards while we were gone. Kisara made a comment about not wanting to through cave first. She seemed a bit angry when I told she was too squishy to go first anyway.
Kisara's Player
>So, we last left off crawling through a tunnel to meet a new kobold tribe and hopefully begin the formation of the Neo-Spawncampers

>We begin the session shortly before we left off, in the camp that the crushers set up in the ass-end of the tunnel we dug
>Ukri tells us to take Akara with us, and we're a little hesitant until the DM informs us that he's competent despite being a nerd
>Then we actually start crawling through the tunnel and encounter a trap in the process
>Understandably, we stop to deal with said trap and find that it was actually just an illusion
>We soldier on and find that nothing else stands in our way until we reach the end of the tunnel and find more than a few kobolds standing in our way
>They're understandably wary of a few unknown intruders entering their territory, so we play it cool and demand an audience with their queen
>With diplomacy checks in hand, we manage to convince them to do so and find their queen, the deserter mentioned in Wiivai's book, Yusdrayl
>We also find that Yusdrayl's a narcissistic lazy ass
>Seriously, they left an entrance to the underdark defended with only a single illusory trap
>Vyth then goes on an epic tirade about how she's a lazy coward and explains the situation and just how dire it is, being so bold as to actually walk up to her and jab her in the chest with his finger in the process
>Yusdrayl, completely aghast at this cleric and his resemblance to her father, has no choice but to cope and seethe at this tongue lashing until Vyth calms down
>With that over, we get saddled with a new quest for the four of us (Akara's still here!) to handle
>We take one of theirs, a previous dragon handler, and go sneak into the hobgoblin-occupied part of this burrow to steal back a baby white dragon
>If we can get it back, we'll surely be in the high favor of this new tribe, and may even convince them to join up with the crushers as we plan to do
>We do what preparation we need to and get what information we can out of this new face to make up for the obviously false information that Yusdrayl gave us, and then we delve into the deeper parts of this ruined temple
>From here, we run into multiple parties of goblins and my brain starts to shut down
>Kisara still holds her own though, since all I have to do is roll a d20 and then 3 d8s every turn
>After a while of that, the session is called in the middle of the dungeon

Not bad of a session, would've probably been better if my brain didn't start leaking out of my ears around the halfway mark. Either way, I hope the next session is fun and I'll see you all there!
the development of the mines and the arrival at the new place was largely uneventful. The most heartbreaking thing for adooris was how much of the weaker ditherbombs had to be wasted on a trap. such ordinance was rare, even if it leaned acid instead of her usual fire, but at the very least, she had managed to squirrel away a couple of the more effective ones for another emergency.
adorned in stripped down combat gear, the four kobolds that underwent the mission couldn't bring the floating disk through such a cramped space, so all of their many resources had to be left behind. the other two kobolds even less able to carry the weight of their gear than adooris, She hoped they had brought healing. there was only so much magic in adooris's belt. Either way, when they met the queen, Vyth's speech had impressed adooris. It really seemed like he was developing into a leader himself. Still, the queen remained obstinant, and adooris, well used to being sent on dangerous missions, and lacking any sort of appropriate response to it, was just fine to go on it. To her, this routine was instilled through her entire childhood, send to gaurd some lonely station she would likely die in, only to come back alive with news of an attack, made to carry dangerous explosives and yet somehow never setting them off despite being little more than a wrymling. and now the vanguard for newer and more dangerous times. It wasn't like she could not see through the veiled attempts to get rid of her. She didn't necessarily hold out any hope for acceptance either by proving them wrong. It was simply her duty to fight for the peace her goddess would offer her on death. So they set off, to what seemed like yet another curse Adooris would have to address. the glassy sheen in her eyes as she did so was surely just a coincidence.
Kisara's Player
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>This time, we left off somewhere in a dungeon filled with goblins with Akara and Meepo, looking for a white dragon!

>We begin the session somewhere in the dungeon, somehow still not noticeably closer to our goal (from my recollection at least)
>However, this changes once we find a bigass locked door near a pit trap!
>It takes a while for Vyth to pick it open with Adooris's help while Kisara, Meepo, Akara and the skellies stand watch over our gnomish prisoner
>While they're doing that, the dragon on the other side is getting prepared for fighting a bunch of interlopers
>The door's picked open and the fight begins!
>We all immediately get blasted by its breath attack and get ensnared or something while taking ice damage
>Meepo tries to get this room-temperature IQ pit bull of a dragon under control, and it responds by immediately attempting to kill him
>Everyone else does what they can to try to nonlethally damage the dragon, and we accomplish a grand total of roughly nothing on our first round
>This pattern continues for roughly the entire fight, with the barely sentient mongrel pulling bullshit and japes while we struggle to do anything because we're not allowed to give this thing the proper beating it deserves
>Eventually, Kisara decides it's cowabunga time and attempts to scorching ray this tiny bastard, using her knowledge of white dragons liking it cold and my meta knowledge that fire does more damage to them to hopefully knock this thing out or stop its heart outright
>Quest be damned, I will not let myself fall on my ass fighting this thing again from being forced to make three separate rolls to even cast, much less see if it does any damage!
>Unfortunately, the dice still hate me and deem that Kisara falls flat on her ass for the second time this fight
>She then decides that this isn't worth it, and proceeds to use her move action to crawl out of the room and wait for things to end so she can have Vyth yell at Yusdrayl again
>While she's standing outside and leisurely sipping on a couple of health potions, she hears everybody else practically fucking dying and finally steps back in to see if she can do anything to stop it
>Once again, the dice say no
>However, DM-Ex-Machina happens and the gnome finally appears from wherever the fuck he's been and throat-chops the dragon for supereffective damage, knocking it out and ending the fight
>And with that solved, everybody's brought up and Vyth makes the executive decision of letting the gnome go
>And we're rewarded for this respect and kindness by HAVING OUR SHIT STOLEN
>At this point I was one more bad happening away from just leaving the game outright
>And to make matters worse, the fucker completely disappeared afterwards and we have no leads on where he is, where he's going, or just what the fuck to do
>Something interesting does happen during our search, where Meepo claims to have seen a double of himself and then both Kisara and Vyth immediately attack where he claims to have seen it (to no avail)
>Well, we're not getting that shit back and whatever reward we'll be getting for this shitty quest likely won't be worth the loss of some of our best gear
>So, reeling in the fact that the party's been severely weakened, Vyth decides to take out his anger on the remaining goblinoid population of the area while Kisara takes out some of her anger on Vyth with a level 0 spell
>We enter a room full of goblins, but all but 6 hobgoblins in the back are unarmed and thus start pissing and shitting themselves trying to not die
>Kisara targets the hobgoblins and Adooris helps out, Vyth starts slaughtering the peons, and Akara channels Doomguy into his blade while tearing goblins apart left and right
>Unfortunately, the hobgoblins are strong and fairly plentiful, and considering their role as the main enemy for a level 6-11/13 campaign while we're around level 4, they're not exactly easy to kill
>Despite this, we try our damnedest while the other kobolds, Meepo included, are off fucking around with the waste of good oxygen that we were expected to go find and not die in the process
>We do our damnedest to fight again, but one by one we're drained of resources and health until we finally reach a point where I considered a TPK unavoidable
>There were two hobgoblins training their bows on Kisara and waiting for her to start casting to shoot her, Vyth was dealing with a bunch of hobgoblins alongside Akara, and a pile of reinforcements had come in from behind us and cut off our only escape route
>I was fully ready to throw in the towel and suffer through making another character while trying to fit as many hendersons as I could into a 2-foot frame, but luckily Adooris's player actually had a plan that, surprisingly, worked!
>Of course, that didn't mean we'd survived yet
>With the reinforcements behind us dead, Kisara took the opportunity to flee all the way to the hall we came from
>Adooris stays to guard the doorway, blocking any more gobbos from coming through while Vyth also retreats
>However, Akara's not budging and Adooris is knocked to exactly zero HP
>Kisara liquefies the one who dared to touch her sister in such a way, and through skinned teeth and split hairs we all make it out of the room alive with the goblin population of this dungeon lowered to unrecoverable levels
>We link back up with the other four kobolds who have the dragon, and follow them to a hallway that leads back to "friendly" territory
>Now with a breath of fresh air, Vyth finally tells us of a greater plan that he has
>He's going to kill Yusdrayl and we can either help or stay out of the way
>Kisara doesn't care as long as she gets properly compensated for her losses, but Adooris has her own thoughts about this plan
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>Vyth wants to either challenge her openly or kill her in her sleep, but Adooris would rather play the long game and try to turn her own tribe against her with how great the Neo-Spawncampers would be when we finished clearing this goblin nest, cleaned it up properly, and got rid of the curses to show just how inept Yusdrayl is
>Kisara just wants to fill the level-three-spell-shaped hole in her heart (speaking of, when are we getting the XP for this dungeon/quest?), and is willing to do so with whoever's blood is most deserving of being spilled
>So I mostly leave the discussion of the planning to them, and they do so while Meepo is left well out of earshot and continue to seethe internally
>Kisara is definitely not letting anyone release any gnomes alive around her again, and if Vyth for some reason does it again, she's not hesitating to use a spell that'll do more than 3 damage to him
>Either way, that's where the session ends
>We may not have chosen violence upon entering this clusterfuck, but we're definitely rectifying that mistake

I have only two real things to say about this session:
1) Fucking with players' mobility is a dick move. I've played enough TF2 Soldier and suffered against too many airblast-happy pyros to think anything else, and being left powerless in a fight is only scary if you're actually able to fight it and are still struggling. Being left powerless against an opponent that you would otherwise destroy in a fight for whatever reason is one of the most frustrating feelings in my opinion, and purely detracts from the experience.
2) Stealing players' items is another dick move. I can understand items being destroyed through circumstance, such as acid damage, fire damage, or explosive damage, but outright stealing their best gear and then having the thief for all intents and purposes "disappear from the face of the earth" (your own words, >that guy) is almost the same level of frustrating, especially when the item that was stolen from me effectively leaves me with a useless helmet in my inventory. Nothing about it has changed except for the one thing that I actually had it for, and now it's just taking up weight that could be used for something (or a few somethings) better until I either get back my lightning gem (unlikely) or get a new one to replace it (also not that likely, so far as I know).
TL;DR is let us move freely and don't disappear our best shit.

Anyone reading this, feel free to call me a faggot for thinking this and daring to air my grievances on an imageboard where nobody really cares, but those are my honest thoughts on this session. I hope the next one's much better, and while I'm not asking for any of this to be retconned or the thief to be immediately and easily found because I'm mad, I do hope that this is the only time that our stuff gets stolen from us without a clear way of getting it back that doesn't require us to drop everything and track someone down with all of our two braincells and <15 rolls and that whatever enemies we face in the future won't be as dickish with preventing us from being able to do literally anything meaningful against them.
Kisara's Player
I just realized that I neglected to actually say what the plan that saved our asses was, it was that Adooris would teleport from where she was standing to behind all of the reinforcements with her move action and then burning hands them all into the shadow realm to clear an exit.
Did she say "Nothin personal, kid" when she did it?
>room-temperature IQ pit bull of a dragon
Exactly what I was going for with Calryx. He is quite the difficult one.
>the fucker completely disappeared afterwards and we have no leads on where he is, where he's going, or just what the fuck to do
Eh, you're pretty deep underground, and his lil' gnome legs could only get him so far. You haven't seen the last of Erky Timbers.
One might wonder, what was such a powerful gnome doing in that backwater dungeon anyway? Only time can tell.
>Fucking with players' mobility is a dick move.
Yeah, it was a little little bit mean, although Calcryx himself wasn't exactly that formiddable, and white dragons are typically encountered in areas where their Ice Walking ability is relevant. I did add that to the encounter's CR though, as an additional unfavorable condition.
Last time I ran this was for a lvl 1 party, and they didn't have very much trouble, although circumstances were different.
>Stealing players' items is another dick move.
It is indeed, although you should have known better than to trust a gnome. It was a social encounter, and the gold-plated quickrazor was a dead giveaway that he was in fact a powerful rogue who wasn't actually trapped in there. He could have done a lot worse than steal your items, and perhaps you might feel the slightest bit chilled as to why he didn't just then.... Whatever it was, it seemed as though he preferred you alive for the time being.
Don't be worried though, if you catch him, you can get your items back. He didn't actually disappear, he just slipped through the shadows and was very good at hiding (although from your perspective it would have seemed like he disappeared), and you haven't seen the last of him (I didn't spend two weeks building that NPC just to have him disappear without a fight)
Going forward, you won't have your items stolen all of the time, but it's something you could easily expect when dealing with gnomes. A lot of the main villains in this game are going to be Rogues, Ninjas, Bards, and Beguilers, and Sleight Of Hand is one of their main ways to conceal spellcasting or hidden weapons.
Cloakshadow_symbol (1).jpg
Posting Cloakshadow lore here so I don't lose it.

Baravar Cloakshadow:
>Known as the Sly One, was the neutral good gnome deity of illusion and deception. His dogma primarily concerned the protection of the gnome race through the art of illusion.
>A crafty, vengeful deity who specializes in deceptions. He is unforgiving of any creature who threatens his charges, and he feels no compunction against acting against those who have earned his enmity. Although he shares Garl’s love of a good practical joke, Baravar’s jests and tricks may cause no little discomfort to the victims. He is also a thief and enjoys using illusions to confuse creatures before robbing them.
>He is somewhat mean-spirited compared to most of the other gnomish gods, and his pranks may cause even his friends real pain, at least emotionally. He genuinely hates the kobold, goblinoid, and orcish races, believing they cannot be expected to reform. His symbol is a cloak and dagger.
>Clerics of Baravar work to further refine illusion magic, and they quest for new illusion magic and magical items. They are researchers and adventurers. They are encouraged to be proficient in camouflage, disguise, and hiding. They are well-regarded among gnomes for their efforts against kobolds and goblins.
>Novice clerics of Baravar are known as the Cloaked. Full priests are given the title of Illusory. Apart from that, they have a wide variety of titles, changing them as suits their purposes in order to disguise exactly who leads whom. Specialty priests are known as Hoodwinkers.
>1) Fucking with players' mobility is a dick move. I've played enough TF2 Soldier and suffered against too many airblast-happy pyros to think anything else, and being left powerless in a fight is only scary if you're actually able to fight it and are still struggling. Being left powerless against an opponent that you would otherwise destroy in a fight for whatever reason is one of the most frustrating feelings in my opinion, and purely detracts from the experience.
Personally I think its dangerous for the opposite reason. I guess this is why people say the grease spell is insane in 3.x

Adooris watched with awe as vyth dismantled the hauty brat on the broken throne in this part of the ruins. Still, the display of power she made right after, with a fireball crashing against the ruin wall, was enough to shake her to her bones. None the less, somehow, they had managed to undo a bit of Yusdrayl's power over the kobolds, but apparently not enough.

With meepo and Akara they set off into the ruins. Each room less ornate and more refuse ridden than the last. the first sign things where starting to get really unhinged was the room full of rats. Thankfully by then the elven skeletons vyth perloined did their duty in keeping us from being overrun by the creatures living off of the goblins filth. If anything these where the real pests, like the fleas that spread black death, goblins dragged around the plague of rats wherever they went.

After that, they saw the remains of a gnome there, and took a signant ring. Adooris didn't seem too surprised, but it was interesting none the less. They ventured further, and finally made contact with some goblin gaurds, slaughtering them effortlessly with the skeletons walking through their caltrops and killing zone. Adooris was impressed, but given the elven architecture and lettering everywhere, she didn't think it was the goblins doing the fortifications here, even if they clearly knew how to use them.

Next came their ultimate nemesis, a room with a chained up gnome and three kobolds. Upon rescue, the group immediately set upon searching the gnome, and had just barely found a held out knife. they talked briefly about what to do while looking over the ornate jewelry like quick-razor. Adooris wanted to release the gnome and see where he ran off to. Vyth ended up with a different plan, using the gnome to open doors for us. This plan might have both doomed them and saved their lives. They entered room after room after that, slaying the goblins inside without much issue, before finally encountering the dragon. It had blasted the whole room with ice. It was perhaps something adooris should have thought of, but without access to most of her resources there wasn't much she could do about it. Adooris and her companions filed into the room carefully, adooris doing her best to draw the things attention and keep it from ripping out meepos throat. Instead she wound up savaged and tripped over the course of the fight, with a disabled Vyth braving danger to keep her from being killed. The dragon inhaled one last icey killing blow.

The gnome struck without anyones notice. Adooris had been convinced he had probably fled at this point, but he managed to both knock out the dragon and save Adooris and Vyths lives. At first she didn't know what happened, asking kisara, but then, catching her in one of her usual lies, she decided to drag the answer out of the dwarfbold. When she did she looked back at the gnome in shock. No matter how much rage her blood had for them, Adooris had memories of having more in common with the gnomes. flesh, hair, a disease that caused her to waste away slowly, she was even more gem than person if that was any indication. Still, after having used this guy as canon fodder for the better part of a half hour, the fact that he would come in and rescue his hated enemy before her was incomprehensible to Adooris. Adooris scratched her hand, itchy, and feeling like she was missing something. she looked over to the gnome, who was standing aloof to the side, smug and giggling. "Why?" Adooris asked simply. The answer she got in reply was just as cryptic. "this is what you came for yes? the dragon is all yours now" As the group pondered this development, and what it meant to owe their lives to such an enemy, Adooris had hoped for a more open answer, the conversation she burned to have with that maiden who's belt she now wore once again denied to her. But now instead of having been betrayed by that prisoner she had been saved by one. Vyth seethed, but as the next shocking words from his mouth where spoken adooris could understand it, Vyth had a level of honor that went beyond even most kobolds. "Boy I sure do hate gnomes, I'd never let one live, but I might.. be distracted helping akara tie up this dragon." he hinted.

The gnome didn't say much more, laughing and then disappearing at the end of the hallway.
the shit in the spoilers might not be canon
his hands filled with gems, holy symbols, and other things stolen form the kobolds. He whisked himself away, his ill gotten gains, A knowstone gem, a clan dagger, a holy symbol, and a shining iridescent violet egg. Such power in that last one, it was almost like it was ali-. Shining golden locks of hair caught at the edge of his vision and a soft hand touched his shoulder. he started, a bit distracted from looking around himself and seeing nothing. He then looked down back to the ribbon he had been examining before. It wasn't that magical, but the care in which it had been displayed made it the obvious choice to steal from that one.

In the other room, two desperate figures where huddled over a insensate and bleeding Adooris. that golden aura washed over the room, and the clock ticked backwards.

Adooris started, sumbling a little and then looking around, her holy symbol, missing? Well, ordinarily that would make her see red, but she still had the one on her crown. She drew out the ribbon into her hands.
Letting the ribbon be tied around her tail, she would have to pick up one of the spares later in the camp. She looked over to the other kobolds, feeling bad for them, something quite important to them was stolen as well, and slowly, they came to realize they had been duped, but adooris wasn't so sure at first. If he had meant them harm, why save them? Did he not like his chances agains the wild undead? it seems like he could have dealt with it quite easily. And yet, he still saved their lives. Was this their payment? In a way, she didn't think her allies would see it that way. Maybe it even wasn't. The figure certainly avoided answering her question. Did he notice how sharp she was? What was his real plan? Either way, they weren't in great shape, they discussed what to do next for a long while, but eventually agreed to move forward.

the next leg of their journey was through mist, they carefully made their way through to the other side to a portal of doors. The gate was squat for such a large room, but in the end it was a fortress of some kind or other. As one, they rushed in, Vyth's patience at the limit and tired of dealing with goblins. They where quick to realize how tipped out of their favor this battle would be though. The Goblins within where a number adooris couldn't even count. Hobgoblins rose up in the back and archers raised their bows to meet them as skeletons ran in, indiscriminately killing villagers. they where quickly surrounded and beat back. Luck seemed to be on the enemys side except for Akara, who had began unleashing moves that reminded Adooris of some of the fighters in her past life. The knowledge was too muddled to be clear, but his sword skill and bravery when facing these foes seemed inverted. Behind him closer to the door, Adooris, Kisara, and Vyth where blocked in by goblins and hobgoblins left and right. Without the gem, Kisara was having trouble clearing the room of goblins, taking out important targets with her magic when possible. But soon they where out of room to cast magic. Archers from behind leveled their crossbows at kisara's spell as well, making the prospect of fighting further hellish. Adooris grit her teeth, wondering who she should target first when the jaws of the trap went off. five more goblins entered from behind them, cutting them off from their escape route.

Adooris knew she had to act at this point. Desperation had reached it's peak. she drew on the powers of her magic, Feathered clothing manifesting brightly as she pulled at her shield, sweeping bolts from the air with spectral and chaotic looking wings as she felt time crawl still, quickly, vaulting over the wall of bodies blocking their exit, she gathered up her violet flame, the same one she remembered being burdened with so long ago. She flashed the enemy with her burning flames and cleared the path, then stepped forward into the doorway, beckoning her allies forward. They came, retreating all except Akara and the skeletons as they continued to attack the more armored opponents now. Kisara was through first, and then the hob goblin followed, throwing blades her way as they fought to break through her position. Adooris grit her teeth and bore the attack. Kisaras spell cutting a path for Vyth to soon follow. Still, Adooris didn't budge, even as meepo came from nowhere and beckoned them towards an escape route. Vyth and Adooris called out to Akara. With her Shield held as high as she could against such a tall creature, the kobold girl clashed with the hobgoblins bastard sword. His blade sparked against her shield as he put his weight and pressure on her injured body's defenses, bearing down at her with it. Somehow Adooris grit her teeth and continued to stand, her shield shimmering with magic before she threw his blade aside with the last of her strength. Vyth ordered the skeletons to charge, and they did, coming back at his command to attack the enemy by adooris, and after they where run through Akara finally shook off his blood lust and they came barreling through the exit as quick as they could. Adooris limped after them, as they made their way to the outpost the five other goblins had arrived from through the haze in the previous room. The skeletons where left behind to occupy the goblins from picking off the softer targets escaping, and there, they sat in that room, licking their wounds and reeling from the near defeat.

Letting the gnome live was my first mistake. We had come upon a gnome in a cage and three kobolds tied up. We freed them and I had the gnome to trigger any traps ahead of us as we moved forward. Using Kurtulmak's power I had commanded a group of five skeletons to fight for me. Rooms of goblins didn't stand a chance against us. We slaughtered them in their filth.

Moving forward we had finally found what we were looking for, the dragon Calcryx. There was a pit trap outside it's room stopping my skeletons from entering it in a timely manner. Even from outside we could feel the cold coming from it's room. I had the gnome open the door and we rushed in. That damned dragon must've been waiting on us as it was flying above the door and froze us with it's breath.

Even a tiny dragon such as Calcryx was difficult to deal with. Akara and Meepo did most of the work, while Adooris set herself on fire to counteract the ice, Kisara kept slipping on said ice, and I missed every throw of my spear. A lucky swipe of it's claws and Adooris dropped to the ground. I was close to death, so I should've ran, but I didn't. I ran to Adooris and healed her just enough for the next attack to not kill her. Then, well, I'm not sure.

I awoke being fed a potion by Kisara. As we healed we found out who dealt with the dragon. It was the gnome, apparently. Here is where I made my second mistake. I let the damned thing go. It saved us. It might not have been the smartest or the religious thing to do, but I did. It stole from us. It stole a gem from each of Kisara's and Adooris' enchanted helmets, one of Adooris' ribbons, Akara's dagger, one of my holy symbols and the razor I took from it. I saw a symbol on it's cloak before it disappeared, a dagger. I recognized it. It was the symbol of Baravar Cloakshadow.

I rightfully caught shit from Kisara for my poor leadership. It was here I made my third mistake. I decided that I was going to kill the goblins here. So we did. I threw open the door and ordered the skeletons to start killing. We all killed and killed them, but there were too many. The hobgoblins and goblins kept coming and more came from behind us. We almost died from my recklessness, the only thing that saved us was Akara and the skeletons. We decided to run, but not before getting all of us out. I had the skeletons charge the hobgoblins blocking the way so Akara could run out.

I slammed the door behind him and we ran into the room Meepo and the three rescued kobolds led us to. It led back to the tribe, through a trapped hallway. I used this moment to catch my breath. I almost killed what was left of my tribe. It was my recklessness, carelessness and thoughtlessness that had almost killed us. What right did I have to be angry at Yusdrayl?

I might just very well be a worse leader than her. I had let a gnome steal our most valuable possessions and almost got us killed for what? I've led us again and again into danger and what have we gained? Nothing. What did I even do for our tribe? I read too much and ignored my duties. I couldn't even mine like a proper kobold for a long time. I fear I'm unfit for leading, but who else will do it? Adooris just does whatever anyone tells her to, and Kisara I fear is too greedy and bloodthirsty. Yusdrayl is entirely too full of herself and Ukri isn't one of us.
Highlight of today's session
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Also highlights

Kisara's Player
>Where last we left off...
>Almost everything that could go wrong did go wrong, and it can be traced back to letting a gnome escape us instead of executing him on the spot

>This time, we start off in the tunnel we left off in with a comatose retard dragon and a few more kobolds than we entered with!
>A success to be sure, but was it really worth it in the end?
>That all depends on what we get for rewards, of course!
>We return to Yusdrayl, Kisara bitching and moaning about how we almost died and lost our best shit while Vyth and Adooris give out the actual debriefing
>We fought the vast majority of the goblins, we killed almost as many, there were hobgoblins, a gnome stole our shit, et cetera
>At the mention of hobgoblins though, Yusdrayl perks up and quietly starts freaking out
>She still gets us our rewards, though!
>While she's searching though, Kisara asks if she has any gems that can be attuned for her helmet
>Yusdrayl doesn't, seeing as how she also has a helmet with no gem in its slot
>Oh well...
>She gets us our rewards, a medal of Io for each of us, with the color of medal we got matching our scale colors!
>Vyth got a green one, Adooris got a black one (even though she's violet, oh well) Kisara got a blue one to match her highlights, and Akara got a red one!
>Meepo also got a medal, but his was white because of his official title of dragon keeper and the dragon he was tasked with keeping is white
>Around this time, the door that we entered the kobold territory through starts banging
>The goblins want their dragon back!
>We and all the other kobolds in the area gather around the door and get into position, the guards flanking while Vyth hides behind a pillar, Adooris holds the line up front, and Kisara/Yusdrayl take up positions to unload magical hellfire into the oncoming attackers
>The hobgoblins finally SWAT the door down, and Yusdrayl vaporizes a line of them while the other kobolds start terrorizing them from the sides
>Adooris and Vyth get into the fray too, and Kisara throws spells like she always does
>The normal hobgoblins stream into the room though, and their big boss samurai gobbo finally arrives on the scene with his regular goblin cleric GF riding on his back to victory
>The guards directly next to the doors get massacred by him, Adooris tries to slow him down with a dwarfblight but only really hits herself and Akara, and the cleric gobbo immediately makes that decision useless anyway by adding a light source to the room
>We all pile damage onto bossman and his henchmen, managing to take down the mooks, but Samurai Crack's pocket pussy with legs hits him with that cure moderate and gives him back a bunch of HP in the meantime
>Kisara then remembers the first rule of warfare, kill the medic, and hurls some lightning at the Samu-rider, somehow killing her instantly
>This leaves bossman pretty open to getting gutted, which he does!
>Hooray, the remaining goblins have been routed and there's some ominous shadow looming behind Meepo, let's celebrate!
>Adooris springs into action and shields Meepo from this horror, but we're all shocked to find that its real target was the dragon!
>The shadow moves swiftly, and in a spray of blood the dragon's head is separated from its body
>Calcryx is dead
>Nothing of value was lost
>Is what Kisara thinks to herself, as gnomish laughter suddenly starts echoing through the room!
>Kisara charges up another spell and shouts "GIVE ME BACK MY GEM YOU ASS" before liquefying the presence before her, but as it turns out it's just an illusion!
>The laughter continues as everyone starts to look for the source, and Vyth tells us that the illusions are an ability of the gnome, but he has to be nearby to make them work
>The skeletons are ordered to close the doors, and Vyth makes a herculean spot check to find another shadowy figure hiding behind a pillar
>... Or not, as another illusion puffs up in a cloud of smoke
>We have a small exchange with this hidden bastard who then decides to taunt us by appearing right where we all can hit him, and it's him for real this time!
>Kisara tries to trip him with her whip, but ends up failing miserably
>To make matters worse, HE STEALS MY FUCKING WHIP
>I had better get that back too, I swear to fuck!
>Seriously, if I don't get back my now two pieces of good ass lost gear I'm gonna be pissed
>Vyth and Adooris also do what they can to try to blast this bastard before he can disappear, but he makes it out alive
>In her own fit of rage, Kisara then discharges every last spell slot that she has into the ground where the gnome disappeared, leaving a smoldering circle of burned stone from her electrical discharge
>Well, now everyone's up to speed on the gnome situation, at least...
>While the tribe is coping and seething over the loss of calcryx though, Vyth brings up some religious knowledge that lets us know some important shit!
>Particularly, where and when we can find this bastard next!
>He's going to be doing some kind of ritual in a public place a week from now during the new moon, and there's only one settlement public enough for his liking within that timeframe of travel; the town of Oakherst roughly a day's travel from here!
>We do have time between then and now though, so we work on one of our other objectives: forming the Neo-Spawncampers!
>We meet back up with Ukri and inform him of the developments, and we bring the crushers into this new area to form our new base of operations for the time being
>Ukri and Yusdrayl come to their agreements and rule the Neo-Spawncampers together, and the day closes off with 80-ish kobolds in a bigass sleep pile
>Our sleep is interrupted though when two kobolds start arguing about moss and Kisara decides to fan the flames with her own opinions before Yusdrayl shuts them up with a sleep spell
>The next day, we wake up and go about our mornings until Ukri pulls us aside and enlists our help yet again
>It's now our job to go and clear the rest of the dungeon
Kisara's Player
>So we do
>We gather our crap and head back into the dungeon, moving towards areas that we haven't explored properly yet
>As we pass through one of the rooms we had already been in though, we encounter a bunch of angry old biker gnomes with red hats!
>Well, we came here expecting to fight anyway, this isn't surprising
>What is surprising though is that these guys are able to resist damage!
>It becomes a small problem, but between Kisara's casting and Akara's kickass CQC expertise we manage to drive the redcaps back to hell
>Adooris then uses a prestidigitation spell to clean up the blood pools they spawned from while Kisara uses mending to partially repair a decrepit, yet still beautiful, mural of Io
>We then continue on, eventually finding a room with some skeletons in it
>Said skeletons are definitely undead, but aren't hostile to us as we haven't revealed ourselves to them yet
>We decide to let sleeping dogs lie though, and simply write two warnings on the door: (in draconic) DO NOT open, literal skeleton closet and (in common for any nosy adventurers) Treasure Room
>After this tomfoolery is over we eventually stumble across a room with a sapling in it!
>Said sapling then reveals itself to be an actual monster, but it... strangely doesn't attack us?
>Well, it does something to Adooris who foolishly approached it, but Vyth butchers it before it can actually do anything to hurt us
>We then continue along until we get to a room with a weird orb in it that plays music for some reason
>The music forces us to make will saves, and if we fail the saves we run back to the start of the dungeon where one would enter from the surface
>This seems like it's blocking off an important path though, so we brute force it by sending in our skellies to break the orb
>With our path unblocked again, we continue down this new route until we encounter a riddle
>"We come with the night, but leave when it's day" or something like that, but the point is the answer was the stars and we got it in one guess
>Fantastic, what do we win?
>A secret door hiding a long-ass hallway, that's what
>A hallway that has a pit trap that some nasty motherfucker pushes Kisara into!
>Bullying the (physically) weakest member of the party, how rude!
>Poor girl can't even climb out by herself, so she has to wait while Vyth and Adooris try to catch the little bastard that did this to her
>Beyond being rude though, the dickhead's not interested in interacting with us and simply leaves while yelling something about not having to watch the dragon priest anymore
>Weird, but ok?
>Anyway, Vyth and Adooris pull a slightly dejected Kisara out of the hole with some rope and we continue on into the final room on this floor
>This last room holds a sarcophagus, one in the shape of a dragon
>Not knowing anything about mummy curses or why they should be avoided though, we opt to pop the top and reveal a pissed off, somewhat emaciated troll!
>We use our nature knowledge and learn that trolls are weak to fire and acid, so we do what we can to fight this bastard
>Kisara starts off with some fire, which does some toasty damage
>The troll, however, bites the shit out of her with an attack of opportunity
>Shit, next turn I'm retreating
>Vyth does some acid stuff and Akara starts wailing on him while Adooris does her best to draw aggro and tank
>Kisara backs herself into a corner and Adooris ends up ODing on attacks, so things are looking a little hairy again
>However, together the three remaining kobolds finish off the troll and bring Adooris back to the world of the waking!
>And that's where we leave off, with the four of us in a room with the smoldering corpse of a dead troll who was apparently a dragon priest locked in a time-sealed sarcophagus for unknown crimes

All in all, a fun session! I'm not a fan of losing yet another item to our first real BBEG, but knowing that we'll find him again and take him out in another few sessions to get our stuff back is comforting to say the least. As for the future, I hope we get another chance to break out Business Kisara to infiltrate this human town and see if we can potentially get the guard there to side with us against the gnome we're looking for! However, that would probably only happen after we're done clearing all the floors of this dungeon, which I'd imagine there are still two more. But hey, I do hope that we get another chance at entering a human settlement and getting up to some (mostly legal) fuckery there! Until then though, I'll see you all next week!

The hallway of traps seemed to prove more dangerous than I first thought. Meepo and I got to work disarming them. It was going well until I fell into a pit and got impaled on the spikes at the bottom. I was alive but hurt. I quickly bandaged my wound so I wouldn't bleed out and threw my rope up for Meepo to catch. Everyone worked together to pull me out. We balanced Calcryx across the pit and soon the rest of us followed.

When we got back it seemed Yusdrayl was ready for an attack. We did come through the exit closest to the goblin tribe, so that explains it. Yusdrayl seemed surprised that we actually got the dragon back and even more surprised that Meepo survived. Kisara wanted another gem for her helmet as a reward, and it did seem that Yusdrayl had one, but the gem from the helmet was missing. She told us there never was a gem in it, but we all knew she was full of it. I told her that I knew a gnome had stolen it.

We gave her our report of the quest. We entered through the back, killed most of the goblins and hobgoblins, grabbed the dragon and made it out. She didn't seem to really believe us, even as I explained how some skeletons I found did most of the work. She did react to hearing that there were hobgoblins among them. We did eventually get our reward, some colored Medallions of Io with each one corresponding to our colors. Except Meepo, he got a white one because he was the keeper of a white dragon.

It was then that we heard a banging at the door we had just come from. What was left of the goblins were coming. Everyone got into position. The door burst open and Yusdrayl used a spell that immediately killed half of them. The rush in, killing kobolds left and right. One of them, a samurai, is difficult to hit with anything and has a goblin shaman on it's back. Most of the hobgoblins run for Calcryx but one of them tries to break into the common room. Yusdrayl used some spell to fry it's brain and it falls over convulsing on the floor.

Three skeletons follow the hobgoblins into the room. They're three of the five that I left in the goblin tribe. They charge in and I reassert my control over them and send them back into the hall they came from. At this point I was entirely out of magic, but I still had Kurtulmak's Skewer. By this point everything was dead except for the samurai, that had ran onto grease and slipped down. I threw the Skewer at it, and it struck true. The skewer pierced it's chest, taking it's heart with it as it returned to me. I raised it triumphantly over my head, letting the blood run down the Skewer and drip down onto me.

I thought everything was over when I spotted a shadowy figure over behind Meepo. I threw the Skewer at it and missed. Adooris moved to try and save Meepo, but he wasn't the target. The figure pulled out a golden knife and in a single stroke cut the head off Calcryx. The figure then disappeared in a puff of smoke as it was struck down. It was that damned gnome. It's laughing was echoing all around us. I saw something out of the corner of my eye and threw my spear at it. It was another illusion. The gnome appeared in the center of us, but none of us hit it, except Kisara. Her whip didn't do as much as she thought it would and the gnome took it too before seemingly moving down through the floor. The mocking laughter didn't stop for minutes.

Before it disappeared I saw it's cloak with a dagger emblazoned on it. It was a cleric of Baravar Cloakshadow. I don't know if it purposefully showed it's cloak or not, but I do know where it's going to be. It's nearing a new moon, and the followers of the gnomish god have a ritual they perform on the new moon. It's done in a public place, and there's only one public place close enough. The human town of Oakhurst.

While Meepo wept and Yusdrayl threw a fit I acted. I grabbed Akara and went back to Ukri. It seemed he was getting impatient with us and had sent his familiar to see what was going on. I explained the situation to him and escorted him to Yusdrayl. I then went to the common room and promptly fell asleep. I was briefly awoken by an argument about moss sorting. It's ridiculous, everyone knows the best way to sort moss is by color. Thankfully Yusdrayl ended the argument with a sleep spell, then I followed them soon after.

I was awoken from the kobold pile after a while along with Kisara and Adooris. Ukri volunteered us to go scout out the rest of the ruins. Between the goblins and the curse it seems most of it wasn't actually known. It was a bit rude for him to volunteer us. I'd like a few days at least to rest and spend some time reading. Regardless we accepted, but not before adding a new corpse to my collection. Using the Nightcaller Whistle, I raised the corpse of Calcryx to aid us. Yusdrayl handed me a large key and each of us were given a firebug lantern and three health potions.

We entered the common room the goblins had previously inhabited, we were ambushed by some deathcaps. Fey, I hate fey. We killed them all without much trouble and checked the back room. It seems this is where the goblin shaman and the hobgoblins were when we killed the rest of them yesterday. There was a plant that got up and attacked Adooris before I ended it's life. There was a staircase leading down with light coming up from the lower levels, but we decided to explore the rest of this floor before moving down into the lower levels of the ruin.

The rest of this floor was on the other side of the tribes dragon room. Meepo was here, mourning the death of Calcryx. Adooris left Meepo some moss, but it seems he just needs time to help him. I thought that putting him on some work detail later might help him too.

We came to the tunnel that leads to the surface. There was a door here leading into an unexplored area and a closet of some kind. I sent one of the skeletons to investigate the closet and in it was more skeletons. I was at my limit for the amount I could control, so I just shut the door. Adooris carved "Do not enter" on the door in draconic while I stood on her shoulder and carved "Treasure room" into it at human height.

There was a large stone door in here that looked like it had been sealed for centuries. We opened it with the key Yusdrayl gave us. Being cautious I had one of my skeletons enter. It seemed safe so we entered. It was then that we noticed the glass orbs in alcoves around the room. Only one of them was active and it started playing music. Adooris copied the notes then ran out of the room. She charged to tunnel to the surface, threw open the door and promptly fell down the pit trap right on the other side. It seemed the music had some magical properties to it beyond it's source.

I ordered one of the skeletons to take the orb and leave the room with it while one of the other ones held to door to the surface shut. The instant the orb was touched the music grew louder and louder, and rose in intensity. This time Kisara and Adooris made ran for the exit, but before they could push the skeleton aside the orb left the room and went silent. Adooris pocketed the orb and we went on ahead.

I accidentally triggered a trap and an arrow launched out of a hidden hole and bounced right off my armor. It seems it's been so long that the arrowhead had fallen off. In the next room was a dragon statue made of white marble with blood red veins running through it. The statue looked like it was a newer addition compared to everything else in the room. It had possibly one of the easiest riddles I've ever heard for us and another door opened when we answered correctly.

The next room had a large pit in the center and four alcoves with three of them containing statues made of the same marble as the dragon. These statues were of what I think were elves. It's not that the statues weren't detailed, I just haven't seen many elves in my life. We entered the room when Kisara was pushed into the pit by an imp. The imp transformed into a giant wolf and I struck it with Kurtulmak's Skewer. It then transformed back into an imp and flew off, saying something about being free of a contract and a dragon priest.

The only way forward was a small tunnel at the bottom of the pit. Being kobolds, we easily squeezed through and entered the room at the end. It was a small room containing a massive sarcophagus in the shape of a dragon. We spent the next hour or so hacking the locks on it off when a giant arm broke out of it and swung at us. It then climbed out. It looked to be an old gray troll. It had glowing red eyes and was covered in bandages covering it's entire body, and it was angry. It bit Kisara and knocked Adooris out, but eventually it went down. I wasn't convinced it was dead until it's corpse was mulched and burnt to a crisp.
164372 164375
Meet Balsag, the bugbear.
Is he sweaty?
A bit. He hunts thoqquas near magma roots in the Underdark.
(that's why he has the tactical loincloth)
>Balsac, The Jaws of Death.
Hmmm, I only drew the giant teeth on a whim, but I guess it matches his name.

Also, if any of you lurkers are interested in joining, the link is in the OP.

Before finally dying, the troll whispered to us, "Thank you." After it finally died after about half an hour of stabbing it's unconscious body, we looted it. It had a bunch of gems, jewelry, a potion and a wand. We decided we should head back and rest a little, but on the way back to the tribe we found that our skeleton closet trap had worked. Some gnomish adventurer's corpses littered the ground. They didn't really have much but it was good to find a trap that we made had killed some gnomes.

As we were going back to the tribe Meepo seemed to be working on something for our upcoming raid. He was working away diligently and he seemed to really want us to let him work. Adooris tried to take one of the gnome corpses and make it look like the gnome we were after, then hung it's corpse as a training dummy for Meepo. Meepo thanked her but said he didn't need it.

When we got back to the tribe we gave our report. Yusdrayl was very concerned about the glowing purple hole we found. She asked if anything came out of it and we told her about the plant thing that attacked us. Everyone present found our skeleton closet trap funny. We then told her about the troll we killed and how it was supposedly a disgraced dragon priest. She asked if we found anything on our journey and traded us some spike mines for any gems we found.

After a rest in the kobold pile I meditated while my companions got themselves and their gear unstuck. We traveled to the glowing hole. Some kobolds had already cleaned where the goblin tribe died. We arrived at the hole and most of us climbed our way down the mass of vines leading downwards. I say most of us as Kisara somehow convinced Akara to carry her down.

When we got to the bottom there were two plant things and two skeletons. The skeletons seemed to ignore us but the plants didn't. As we killed some of the plants the skeletons decided to defend them. It didn't work as I just commanded them to follow me from now on.

We went north and found a bugbear butchering something. The bugbear was almost pale white and had a large mace next to it. Adooris fired her crossbow at it and missed. It got ready to charge but then Kisara asked who it was. It paused for a moment and we spoke with it. He introduced himself as Balsag and he spoke at length about how he was a great hunter, and looking at him he was wearing the pelts to prove it. It took quite a bit of effort to stop from laughing at his name. I admitted to being the one to destroy the goblin tribe, but he didn't seem to broken up about it, in fact it seemed he didn't like them either. He told us of an elf that lives down here somewhere. We parted ways politely.

Exploring to the east this time we were ambushed by a group of plant things. They were no match for us, but I think one of them got a hit on Adooris. Throughout the ruin we had been finding goblin corpses, most of them had head wounds caused by a massive blunt weapon of some kind. In the room with us was a rat strapped to a table with various wooden tumors growing on it. Kisara poked one with a stick which just caused the rat to twitch in pain. We left it there and continued on.

We came to a large temple, abandoned for some time. The floor and walls were made of a red stone and the walls were covered in a thick glowing moss. I collected some of it, while Kisara decided to try some. I chided Kisara on her inferior moss collecting and sorting habits. While we were arguing she shoved a bunch of the moss into her mouth and yelled back at me through the moss. After this she started glowing.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off...
>Killed a troll and found out he was a dragon priest imprisoned for crimes unknown

>The troll dies, and turns to elf much to our surprise
>He rasps out a final "thank you" before passing on completely
>We then stand around for a bit gathering ourselves and our thoughts before unknown screaming cuts through the silence
>We rush to the source, only to find that some gnome adventurers cucked themselves by opening the skeleton closet!
>Kisara yells out a spirited "lmao get fucked idiots" before the skellies are herded back into their closet and the trap is reset
>Of course, we then go to report our findings to Yusdrayl
>Along the way, we find Meepo making a surprise tool to help us later
>Plot twist: it's high explosives
>After that detour, we report to Yusdrayl/Ukri and tell them about the skeleton closet
>Everybody within earshot laughs
>We also show off our haul from that section of the dungeon, and Yusdrayl wants the gems we got
>She offers us actual fucking land mines for them!
>10d6 damage 3 times? You'd be stupid not to take that!
>After that, we spend some time discussing tactics
>Oakherst has a lot of people, so guerrilla warfare is our recommended tactic for blowing this town wide open
>After that, we get some random crap for rewards and plan out our next foray into this craphole of a dungeon
>With our plans complete we take a rest and Kisara donates some level 2 spells to charge our spellflinging spears
>When the rest is over, we go back to exploring the one place we haven't in this pit
>The purple hole
>We begin climbing down, with Kisara tied onto Akara because she would've fallen to her death otherwise and find a temple of Chronepsis somewhere along the way
>The purple of the hole turns out to be a glowy fungus, which we ignore for the most part
>What we don't ignore are some cloaked dudes, a couple more trees, and some skellies at the bottom
>Adooris just walks right up to the trees again, like some kind of dummy with a death wish
>Unsurprisingly though, the trees are angry!
>Kisara burns one to ash, another tree charges Adooris and tries to grab her but whiffs it
>The enemy skellies are active now, and also charge Adooris with swords drawn
>one hits, and Vyth rebukes the skellies in return to make them ours
>Akara does his thing and bashes the last tree to sawdust
>Now, with time to observe our surroundings, we check a room to the north
>There's a big guy (for us) in there cutting shit up
>He's a big hairy goblinoid, so probably a bugbear
>There are also a couple of dire rats in a corner
>Adooris tries to shoot the bugbear in a surprise round but misses, causing him to get up and draw his weapon
>Kisara then asks who he is to try to take him offguard again
>Mr. bugbear introduces himself as Balsag
>"Nice to meet you, ballsack!" (much snickering)
>After that, we enter a conversation with him thinking it'll just be a formality before the fight
>As it turns out though, the conversation allows us to avoid the fight!
>Ballsack answers our questions helpfully, if requiring some monetary compensation at times
>We learn that there's an elf somewhere in this level of the dungeon, and we also learn of some settlements in the underdark
>Ballsack also tells us about his favorite prey, the thoqqua; this big worm thing that lives in the underdark despite coming from another plane
>Kisara tastes some of the blood, and finds that it's good!
>And to finish off making this friend, Vyth introduces himself formally and offers a handshake that Balsag accepts!
>Next on our list is to go to the east
>We find a number of rooms with a considerable number of gobbo corpses strewn about, along with a tied up rat full of tumors
>Kisara pokes at the rat for some reason, probably to see if the tumors were anything nasty, but nothing happens
>Well, nothing happens besides Akara yelling about us being attacked from somewhere
>It's a pack of 9 trees, but a few are taken down very quickly
>Adooris is then grappled by one, and Kisara is almost grappled too
>Kisara AoO's it for 1 damage because she's not meant for melee, and does some real damage with an electro ball on her turn
>Vyth gets his skellies and the dragon corpse to attack the remaining trees, killing them off
>With nowhere else left to go, we go south
>And we find a bunch more goblin corpses for some reason, spooky
>Adooris has to do IRL stuff though, so the actual session cuts here
>RP happens between Vyth's player and me though, it's another argument about how to sort some of the funny glowing moss around this area because apparently it tastes otherworldly
>The RP finishes off with Kisara glowing from eating that much of the moss, Vyth having collected some of it for posterity, and the two of us deciding that soap is priority number two during the upcoming raid

Another fun session, if a little short. IRL stuff is more important though, so all's good! I look forward to seeing what comes next, and I really hope that our upcoming raid on Oakherst actually gets us to the gnome we're trying to kill, because we also heard from Balsag that he fled through the underdark. If he's going to be in one of those underdark settlements during the window of time we have and miss it, it'll be a bit of a letdown (for me at least), given the current buildup has us being pointed in two different directions. Who knows though, maybe this is one of those situations where no matter which town we decide to attack we'll still find our guy! Anyway, enough rambling; until next time!
My shit drawing of the failed dragonpriest

Kisara's Player
I also literally just realized that 1) not only did I not know what loredrake did as an archetype, and 2) that as a result of it I should have more spells than I do and that my spells should also be more powerful. Now that my dumbassery has been corrected, Kisara's going to be capable of a LOT more ass kicking!
Yeah, that's one of the perks of technically being a true dragon.
Just note that I houseruled that the combination of loredrake and greater draconic rite of passage can't increase your sorcerer level higher than your character level +1, but I'll allow it to make up for caster levels lost in prestige classes or through multiclassing.
Kisara's Player
noted, I'll make the proper readjustments
Meet Belak: the mad druid
>evil laugh in the distance...
Other highlights from this session.
Human adventurers, enthralled by the Lady's grace.
Badass levels off the charts

Fuck you. I murder your children for fun
Akara putting on his fake beard and speaking dwarven the moment nobody is looking.
Welcome to my dungeon.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, Kisara was glowing like a fed and Vyth finished collecting some rare moss in the dungeon we're in

>From here, we go north since we're in a different room than I thought we were and find some tall cloaked thing scything grass
>It, a goliath hybrid skeleton, looks at us and screeches while Adooris and Akara moves between it and the party and activate total defense
>Vyth attempts to rebuke it and stuns it for the rest of us to wail on it, it dies again quickly
>After this we investigate around and find more moss, but no ways forward so we backtrack to the last room and go another way
>We move to next room, and there's a bigass mushroom sitting amidst glowing mist
>The mushroom, a plant-monster called a shrieker, is moving a bit in the fog
>After much debate, we decide to retreat and go a different way to avoid waking up the entire dungeon by fighting this thing
>We backtrack again and go a still different path, finding another room of skellingtons in the process
>They immediately aggro, but Vyth rebukes them and claims two for tactical purposes
>It's another dead end though, so it's time to backtrack a third time and check another room
>This next room has nothing in it, but there is a rumbling after we open the door
>A thoqqua pops out of the ground before us, slams Kisara from underneath, and grapples adooris who retaliates for some damage with an attack of opportunity
>It doesn't last long in a fight though, so we kill it quickly and harvest some meat and a truckload of gems from its corpse
>Vyth then moves into the room and, in the process, triggers a lava briar to start going apeshit
>Turns out the room wasn't empty
>It dies all the same though, so we grab an orevine seedling from the room and move to a new one
>Adooris breaches this time, and in the room we find 4 mushrooms idling around with some garden equipment
>They notice Adooris and start chattering to each other, but Vyth says something to the shrooms and they go back to their jobs
>Turns out they're myconids, and they throw around some spores to establish telepathic link with us and talk
>The shroom bois are happy to answer our questions, like their master being the one who trolled the dragon priest for accepting Chronepsis as his lord and savior
>They also inform us about some kind of "dark one" chained up down somewhere, and also hype up their master, "the lady", a lot
>Despite this, they don't actually know what the lady is
>We know it's not the elf though, since they tell us that the elf is merely a preacher
>Wanting to know more, we ask to be taken to them
>The myconids start spewing spores, growing 4 more to continue their work
>One complies though, leading us past the shrieker and down into a new hall
>At the end of it is a new room, holding a dragon statue and some red tiles dubbed as "the lady" by the myconid, henceforth known as Shroombro
>some undead pops up called a time wight and, unfortunately for us, even Shroombro is scared of it which means it's not supposed to be here
>This spectral bastard even shows up in jeans and a T-shirt, ready to kick our asses in comfort and style
>It hits us with slow, with only Adooris and Kisara making it through unaffected
>It then slams into Adooris, hitting her for some big numbers and a MINUS 1 LEVEL
>Vyth's skellies and dragon corpse pile in, dealing damage while Kisara retreats and fries the motherfucker with scorching ray
>Akara also does his thing, but Shroombro is stuck being scared instead of doing anything productive
>Another one of the bastards shows up though, hastes them both, and then hits Kisara for 9 hp and -1 level too!
>Vyth pokes the new one with his spear in retaliation, dealing immense damage with the help of Kisara's stored level 2 spell
>Adooris finally kills one the next turn, and Vyth kills the other to end the encounter
>Now Kisara and Adooris are just left down a level from the energy drain... oh well
>Next we search the room, and as it turns out the red tile has an inscription that makes it seem like it's used for rituals
>Nobody wants to try it, so Vyth steps on it and gets +4 to charisma from it
>It only lasts for 24 hours though
>Our next stop is a bigass library, and we get a tome from it that tells us about dragons and their history!
>Vyth takes it, now he gets +1 on knowledge rolls to anything regarding dragons
>Shroombro then leads us through a staircase on the other side of library and into a hallway with a locked door that Shroombro passes
>Noted for later
>The next room has more shrooms sorting some familiar and dangerous plants
>Shroombro leads us through though, even negotiating with some of the bastard trees to let us through
>And now, we finally get to the area we're looking for!
>A bigass room with a bigass evil tree near a few humanoids, one woman and man plus some cloaked dragonblood elf; presumably the priest
>Shroombro then starts negotiating with the priest about us for some reason despite being apparently scared out of his mind
>The cloaked bastard then starts talking to us directly in some draconic dialect, flawlessly I might add
>He asks if we're here to offer tribute, and we reply that we don't know what tribute would be, hoping that it's not exactly what we think it is
>Yeah, no
>We manage to dodge our imminent deaths again and bribe the creepy ass elf guy with a star sapphire to let us leave and "tell our leader of the news"
>With our freedom guaranteed for a time again, we grab Shroombro and leave as calmly as we can until we have the ability to run
>We tale the time to talk with him some more on the way out and find out that the gnome did come through here to the underdark, but came back around when calcryx died
>We don't know if he came back though, and figure that Shroombro probably shouldn't be conspired with against the lady and the crazy ass elf, despite his fear, due to his dedication
>So, we wave goodbye to Shroombro when he gets back to his post and go to explore somewhere else in the meantime
Kisara's Player
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>Said other place happens to be a bigass crack that we found a while back!
>We travel down it and find another thoqqua, but this one's way bigger than the last one
>We need to get Balsag's help with this
>So we go back to him, tell him about our find, and follow as he goes to a nearby room and starts trying to draw it out
>The big boi appears in a plume of stone, and immediately chunks Balsag for a good pile of dice
>Balsag rages and slams it for big money, doing more to it than I'm betting the rest of us did over the entire fight
>The rest of us do help to chip it down though, and eventually it dies (unfortunately after Adooris and Vyth go down too)
>The difference is, though, they have friends to pick them up afterwards!
>Balsag then hefts the worm corpse and screams loud enough to make some kobolds upstairs piss themselves before dividing up the loot
>We get our share of the meat and gems and then bid farewell to Balsag for now, but we're not sure if he'll be there when we go back down again because he looked like he was packing to leave for somewhere else
>Anyway, we head back up with our newfound spoils to report to Yusdrayl and get medical advice about what we now know was a tree poisoning Adooris a few sessions ago
>As it turns out, she mas mossblight; it's very deadly and requires many rare mosses applied correctly to treat it
>In order to properly administer treatment though, the mosses need to be first sorted by either taste or color
>There are no other options for how this can be done, despite me trying to find loopholes
>Adooris, wanting to stay as removed from moss politics as possible, has us try a remove disease crystal first, but it fails and only accelerates the progress of the disease
>As a result of this, she takes damage to both con and cha as the disease starts to actively deal damage to her body
>In a last-ditch effort though, Vyth forcefeeds her some moss sorted by color and her condition improves!
>With this scare out of the way, we finish reporting about the tree, Balsag, and the big thoqqua to Yusdrayl
>We also turn over the gems and some other valuables we got to her and Ukri for more loot
>The session officially ends here, but Vyth's player and I stick around and run some ideas IC past our fearless leaders about how to deal with the evil tree and come to an agreement about them accompanying us back down there to solve the problem once and for all
>The RP then ends with Vyth sleeping in the kobold pile, Adooris sleeping in her quarantine room, and Kisara sleeping just outside the quarantine room

Also, after the session was over, the GM had us roll to see if the lost level stuck. Adooris was fine, but even with an action point used, I couldn't save myself from losing a level so while everybody else made it to level 5, I'm stuck down at the beginning of level 4 again... Here I was excited to finally get some level 3 spells to make up for the lost gem, but RNG almost never works in my favor :^)
Beyond that though, the session was fun and I look forward to burning down this faggoty elf's personal shit garden of evil plants! That, and hopefully we get some actual confirmation about where the gnome is so we can either kick his ass at the raid or lure him to the raid and kick his ass there anyway. See you all on sunday!
>wanting to stay as removed from moss politics as possible
There is no escape.
>everybody else made it to level 5
Only Vyth made it to level 5.
Kisara's Player
>only Vyth made it to level 5
oh yeah, something about bonus XP from the journal wiivai left
Adooris when she's forced to give her opinion on moss-collecting
5 skellymans was too much for a lvl 1 party.
Sketch of last session's thoqqua battle
Those have a lot of spokes.
DAY 27-32 (I lost count; it's been about a month)
The cresent moon wanes over a gloomy night sky.
16572270937322575119675547679328 (2).jpg
S0aVlJgYX-qOL6S6Rl0dDpdT6fZh3Do38rei4eIyDHg (1).jpg
Highlights for today:


>31 on a sacrifice check
Bad end caravan

Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had escaped with our lives from some faggoty elf's garden of horrors and returned to the tribe with riches from a slain thoqqua, Adooris almost dies of mossblight, and Kisara gets reset back to the start of level 4

>We start off the session with the sacrifice of a gnome prisoner from the skeleton closet, and while we don't attract the entire tribe to the spectacle we still get a lot of participants in the ritual
>From it, we get the effect of divine power for 1 day
>After that, we get Ukri, Yusdrayl, Akara, and a couple high-level mooks to follow us down the purple hole
>On the way, we raise some more skellies up to a total of 10 now
>We then climb down hole, and oddly enough there's more vines than before
>Ukri doesn't make it though, he gets blocked by a barrier and gets cursed as well
>Yusdrayl's bodyguards get cold feet too, so it's just us and her then
>And Akara and the skellies, but ok
>We try to shore up our defenses by enlisting Balsag's help again, but he's already left for greener pastures
>Without much more choice, we move towards the tree
>A skelly opens the door for us and is immediately assaulted by trees, but we kill them all
>We move forward again and find a new myconid
>It starts sporing us, and it wants to know why we're here but Adooris and Kisara are now tripping due to its mutated effects
>Turns out, this big deformed mushroom is shroombro!
>The poor boy needs to be put down, and in his delirium he attacks us
>Adooris, Kisara, Akara, and Yusdrayl are all too zonked to do anything, leaving Vyth to 1v1 our fallen friend
>The skellies take down shroombro who's left to scream 'sorry' as he goes unconscious, but we stabilize him in hopes that he gets better
>Everybody recovers, so it's time to move on
>The next room has the shrieker again, so Kisara and Yusdrayl both fireball the room, killing the shrieker and most of the other things in there
>Not all though, so we kill them all just before shit comes from behind us
>A bunch of big yellow bois break down the door, caltrops don't even slow them down
>These zombie orcs then kill all our skellies, but we kill them in return
>A bigass nasty plant shows up just after them too though, so we run from it while plinking at it and plant one of our 3 mines to dissuade it
>That works and the plant pisses off, so we're fine when we find that locked door again
>We open it and find a tea set and a trapped book inside the room
>We continue moving forward, and finally get back to tree room
>We try navigating the forest ourselves, but get attacked by a passing bone tree and 4/5 of us get poisoned
>3/4 of us then heal up, with Adooris sacrificing her share of the antidote for Akara and leaving her with a negative dexterity mod
>We run past that tree and get within visual range of the faggoty elf and his two humans
>We then start the fight, but our fireballs deal less damage than optimal due to one being counterspelled
>The human fighter charges us, but it turns out he's undead so he's immediately rebuked and killed
>While that's happening, the faggoty elf entangles us with druid powers
>Kisara's now useless...
>Some more stuff happens, and the elf goes full furry mode
>The entanglement ends though, and Kisara immediately hits the other human, a caster, for big numbers
>Adooris is also hit by a big spell, but she does some weird psionic shenanigans to avoid dying to it
>The furfag elf is finally knocked down by Yusdrayl, but is stabilized through his own vigor spell though
>Vyth tries to coup-de-grace him, Kisara annihilates the caster, Adooris makes sure she doesn't die, and Akara actually finishes off the furfaggot elf
>Fight won, nice!
>Unfortunately, there's fire everywhere now
>So now we're in a room full of fire, an evil tree, and a few corpses
>Time to kill the tree!
>Vyth and Kisara both blast it with fire and acid, but it doesn't do much
>Adooris does psionic stuff, and finds out that the tree's supposedly calmed down some
>We're forced to settle with leaving things there though, so we dig our way around into a new room
>Said room contains a shrine and a tray, and the session ends there!

Nice! We managed to take down the faggoty elf and hopefully defuse his tree of evil, and it was a fun fight! All that's left to do now is probably just getting rid of the plant-based hazards and maybe trying to find out how to heal shroombro so he can be our resident gardener, but that'll probably take time. See you guys tomorrow!
Kisara's Player
Alright, so it's been more than a few days since the session since I forgot to write this sooner, and my notes were all deleted since I wrote them here and then they got deleted for some reason (I blame the tab being unloaded for ram purposes), so this is going to be somewhat short and probably a little incorrect. Please bear with me!

>Where we left off, we were in a new room after killing the elf and his minions

>We spend some time analyzing the room, and its walls depict a forest scene with kobolds and elves chilling while some sheep sit around nearby
>We look at the shrine and tray, and notice something's missing so we decide to check with the one guy who knows about this place left
>But first, we need to get rid of the bigass plant monster because that thing's going to make so many problems if we don't
>So we track it down and kill it in a surprise round (surprisingly enough), and then ice its offspring before they can become even bigger problems
>After that, we bring Shroombro back to the world of the waking and he tells us some more about this place, like how the elf wasn't the true priest and how the priest is more a mindset than anything else
>He also gives us some more limited information on stealy mcbignose, so that's cool
>We then take him down to that other room to see what the heck's going on there, and he gets turbopissed because that faggoty gnome apparently stole the tree's most prized possession
>So he also is responsible for pissing off the tree
>We offer to let shroombro help us kick his ass, but he respectfully declines
>He's still pissed, so we offer to do so extra hard for him
>We then opt to leave, and at some point during this Yusdrayl finds some magic geodes that we can use to repair our helmets!
>It'll take for fucking ever though, so we might as well just get our actual stuff back
>We make it out, upon which everybody swarms us like the heroes we are
>However, it turns out that there was time fuckery as we've been gone for well over a few hours
>A few days, actually
>And the tree's started growing into the main level, so we have to evac
>Ukri and Yusdrayl move the tribe into a nearby forest to get as far from this fuckery as possible, while we gear up to do some last minute recon on Oakherst before the raid where we get back our stuff and hopefully the maguffin that'll stop the tree from throwing its current hissyfit
>And that's where things stand for now!

A fun session, I enjoyed it and I look forward to a more stealth-oriented set of encounters in this upcoming one as we become the ultimate lifeform: Three Kobolds in a Trench Coat™!
Kisara's Player
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Today's entire session was a shower scene that got interrupted by a fae ambush. There's basically no elaboration. See you all next week!
That it was a shower scene doesnt diminish that it's recollection could be used canonically. For science.
Reeee, bost gobold prawn
Kisara's Player
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...is this you asking me to draw a lewd shower scene of my PC?
It is observably NOT me asking you to feature lewd lizzers pictures, cuz that would be bad for society.
<but it was>
Kisara's Player
Breaking news, local kobolds find mole corpse holding a lurking gnome near their campsite! The gnomish suspect was last seen red-hot and charging into the woods and remains at large, any knowledge as to this creep's whereabouts will be greatly appreciated.
An ample description will be rewarded with an action point, as usual.
Imperial Wyrmhunter, as Zags described it in his charcoal drawing.

Kisara's Player
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>POV: Kisara caught you spying
You'd better appreciate this anon, I didn't spend 4 hours drawing and abusing three of my colored pencils for nothing!
Nice work, Kisara.
Based and lewdpilled
DAY 34 (i think)
I've been tracking events based on a lunar calendar. Whatever it is, it's the day before the solstice, the last cresent before the new moon.
Meepo getting back to the citadel:
This session in a nutshell
Yusdrayl, sparing me the burden of having to write actual lines for her this session:
New places means new foods.
Briaxshulty cream is something that kobolds don't get to try very often.
Yusdrayl seemed to like it.
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we had just finished washing off our kobold smells as much as we could before our shower got interrupted by a bunch of fey (or one nosy anon if you choose to believe my picture)

>So we begin the session discussing how we'll go about scouting oakherst
>We decide our order of operations, get in our disguises (Kisara/Vyth/Adooris and Yusdrayl/Misc./Akara), and head into town to scout out a tavern first
>On our way over, an obviously drunk guy calls out to us and mistakes the being henceforth known as Kithoris for someone named Barney
>Kithoris respectfully corrects the man, and disengages from the conversation to join the being henceforth known as Yusara inside the tavern
>Adooris gets a bit mad that we didn't do any digging yet, given the NPC told us something about Barney losing his farm, but Kisara decided it would be better to waste as little time in the open where somebody could potentially reveal us to the relevant authorities
>We go inside the tavern, and some guard gives us the stinkeye over his full english but otherwise doesn't bother us thankfully
>Something that we noticed immediately though was a dorf and a halfling arguing with a gnome nearby
>The halfling is yelling at the dorf about some kind of breach of a moving contract, all the while the gnome is writing shit on a scroll
>The halfling does win the argument though, with the gnome and dorf leaving to come back tomorrow night for some reason
>The halfling then comes over to us, so we order some food and try to blend in for the moment
>The operative word being try, since Kithoris ordered a respectable half-stack of pancakes and some water for breakfast while Yusara ordered a full fucking cooked sheep and no drink...
>Kithoris then tries to open a conversation with the halfling lady and we learn that Oakherst is being ceded to Gnisrael with the humans being forced to move out for the most part
>We also learn some small pieces of information about the Silver Empire, being that they apparently have widespread use of actual silverware instead of wood or something
>The halfling lady then lets us go about eating our food, and those of us inside the trench coats sneak pieces of food and drink when and where they can
>I roll some dice and Kisara enjoys the pancakes, but doesn't enjoy the purified mineral water
>While we're eating though, some cloaked figure approaches us and tells us to meet it out back in kobold speak!
>As we go to leave though, Yusdrayl grabs some last-minute food off the table, including a pitcher of whipped cream
>We then go to meet the figure out back, and as it turns out it's Meepo!
>He looks way older and acts a bit different too despite only about a week of being gone for some reason...
>He seems pissed about getting ditched, but we explain the issue to him about the tree and needing to evacuate hurriedly and eventually things are forgiven
>Anyway, he's planted all the big bombs at the important locations to hit so we can blow them up with smaller bombs
>Another argument starts because it wasn't exactly clear that the explosives that were being used weren't going to tear apart the entire town, but we get past all the arguing after like 10 minutes and then have Meepo fill us in on things around town
>The big building that all the kobolds were being put into is gay baby jail, and there's a lot of big strong dudes in there locking it up tight
>Meepo planted bombs under the walls in preparation for a prison break during the raid
>It's about here that I get a sneaking suspicion that Meepo isn't Meepo
>There's no evidence though, as all of us get middling to bad sense motive rolls and when prompted to "ask Meepo something that only he would know," she proceeded to ask him about a running joke throughout her tribe that he was the focus of instead of an actual question
>Anyway, we continue going around and gathering information and decide to head to the other big, well-protected building next
>On the way there, we find a lady preaching a bunch of Pelor shit to a crowd
>She's getting heckled by a guard for not sucking Sigmar's dick though, so that's rude
>Luckily for her, that guard gets dragged off by another guard for a lunch date between his ass and more than a few pineapples, so the lady continues doing her thing unhindered
>We then keep walking uninterrupted until we get to the building, and it turns out that it's a bank
>Meepo then tells us that it's apparently guarded by magic walls, and it's somewhat implied to be the reason Meepo's weird now, so we move on to the market next
>While we're there, we see a gnome selling some familiar-looking weasels
>As it turns out, they're dire weasels that might be stolen from the spawncampers during the raid that broke them, so we buy them back from the gnome and make a note to steal the rest of his shit after we kill the dealer during the raid
>We end up coming to a deal after some diplomacy and disguise checks, and bring the weasels and some supplies we negotiated for out of the town with Meepo's help
>Kithoris and Yusara then dissolve back into their constituent pieces and they all go to report to Ukri again
>We then spend the rest of the session working out some raid plans, and it's decided that we go for the prison break first before going off to try to lure out the gnomish bastard that has our crap still
>It's also brought up that he'll likely be there with more clerics of his god than just him, but with any luck the raid will have them all spread out so we can focus on killing them one at a time
>After that's settled, the session ends there!

A fun time, and I enjoyed becoming The Ultimate Lifeform™ with the rest of the party! It may just be because I was the one actually doing everything, but I found the RP to be fun and the stealth to be engaging despite not getting much XP from it (though getting to level 5 from drawing a picture of Kisara standing naked in a river likely helped alleviate my endless hunger for experience points). Anyway, the raid's next, see ya then!
Kisara's Player
>mfw exactly 6000 characters
Highlight of today's session
Congrats, you're the new Flash Sentry. Hope it was worth it
Kobold (5).jpg
Someone had to take it.
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Literally what he used to justify his shit. As I said, congrats; you've come full circle.
Not to suggest you're a narcissist, but AM indicating you're behaving LIKE a narcissist. Kudos
Oh seethe harder faggot. Would you rather the retards in the flat earth thread take it?
I saw quads right in front of me, so I took those quads. I don't do it here that often.
Yes, your propensity to make excuses is well established. However, you're fully entitled to provide more evidence, if that's your preference.
>tl;dr Make all the excuses you want; you've become the thing you opposed. Hope you're happy with it, I'm sure he was.
fluttershy_roll_eyes_by_yanoda_d4xir6j-fullview (1).png
Whatever you say then.
Yeah, he said that too
Return Of The Skellymans
*clickity clackity*
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>Where we last left off, we had just returned from our scouting mission in Oakherst, finding that it had been bought out by Gnisrael and reporting this information to Ukri

>We actually begin in a brief interlude between leaving town and getting back to camp, where we're ambushed by a party of gnomes!
>We quickly kill them all, letting not a single one flee back to warn the town of our presence in the forest
>The rest of the day goes as discussed though, with us reporting our findings and weasels to Ukri before going off to do our own respective things
>Kisara takes rest of the day off, Adooris writes a letter and attempts to talk to the Pelor lady (potentially jeopardizing the raid, I'm not sure), and Vyth goes with Akara/Yusdrayl to make a new shrine to Kurtulmak
>In the process, he breaks a geode and ends up pissing off an earth spirit fey thingy called an oread
>Apparently, this thing's basically a mountain dryad and they fucked with its pet rock or something by turning it into a statue of Kurtulmak
>We spend some time fucking with it, but it then initiates combat
>It charms Vyth, and in response we go to battlestations
>Kisara fires off a warning shot that does some minor damage, and we end up negotiating with it through Akara doing what he does best (being a bitch)
>It wants us to donate some mineral/metallic stuff to compensate for fucking with its rock though, so, unfortunately, we do...
>Kisara gives it a 100gp copper ring to fuck off, Adooris gives it some gold nuggets we got from the gnomes, Vyth offers a buttload of onyx gems (still charmed, by the way), and Ukri/Yusdrayl cough up some gems and copper ingots
>With the current situation resolved, it lets us ask one question each
>Adooris: "what item did the gnome take from the tree?"
>Oread: "A token of the earth imprinted with the lady's face and tail (a coin)"
>Kisara: "why the fuck are you here?"
>Oread: "banished to the forest for committing mountain crimes"
>Vyth: "wanna fuck?"
>Oread: "lmao no"
>Yusdrayl: "Where's the good mining spots for shinies?"
>Oread: "a list of places for later"
>Ukri: "Is the tribe safe here?"
>Oread: "Not my problem"
>Akara: "[sniveling dwarven]?"
>Oread: "[incomprehensible fey]"
>We then have a small IC argument where Kisara demands to know what Akara said and, when denied, starts throwing insults while Adooris attempts to stand up to her raw Facts and Logic™
>Vyth and Ukri then animate some dead in preparation for the raid, and the session ends there

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus 2 sacrificed for power

All in all, a fun session and I enjoyed being able to screw around with the oread and also fighting some more gnomes! It sucks that there's no session this week as the GM needs to tackle some IRL stuff, but I don't mind it. Next week's the raid, and I hope to see you all there!
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>Mfw I decide to use a humanoid-ish enemy but forget it has no languages in common with the party
Could wear a Translator Ring that breaks it dies or anyone tries stealing it
<scribble scribble
Are you sure? Look again
Nah, I don't ever retcon monster stats/equipment. Once initiative is rolled I stop editing the statblock.
Anyways, there was still an NPC that could speak Dwarven that was able to translate.
Ukri speaks Dwarven too, now that I think about it.
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Meet the super-scary, absurd-damage, borderline-unfair miniboss I made, that died with one hit because he failed a saving throw at the beggining of the encounter.
<Aye, it do be like that sometimes.
Maybe it was for the best. The energy-drain he was capable of might have really been a bit too brutal in the long run. Party still has to fight my *other* super brutal Rogue/Mage hybrid boss.
You don't fudge dice rolls to make fights last until a second or two after they stop being fun?
Kisara's Player
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the way he described the boss and due to the fact that it stopped being fun on turn 1, I'd say that the fight only lasting one round is completely justified. Anyway...

>Where we last left off, Vyth and Ukri had raised some dead after we fucked around with an oread

>We start off the session by interrogating some gnomes
>Good intimidation makes all of them start shitting themselves
>All but one though, turns out he's a cleric of berefart bitchass
>Knowing this, we do everything we can to get as much information out of him as possible
>Kisara even eats his own disembodied arm after beating him with it, much to his horror and our amusement
>We eventually decide to just check his gear, and find a suspiciously magic paper
>We start breaking apart its magical defenses and even spring a magical trap on one of the prisoner gnomes causing the cleric to offer us an actual reading, but we decline and decode some more until we make another prisoner read it
>It's just some cryptic bullshit, something about dots at sundown or something
>This means nothing to us, but hopefully it gives us some way to find that one asshole
>We then skip forward to just before the raid, where we sacrifice all the prisoners as a solar eclipse begins at sundown
>Said solar eclipse lasts for way longer than usual, and still hasn't ended as of the end of the session
>When we arrive, we find Oakherst already under assault by gnolls, so distraction secured?
>All the kobold teams break off to do their jobs, and we start by going to rescue the captured kobolds
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
>And that Vyth disguised himself as a human child when we went in, meaning that him getting caught didn't break our cover
>We definitely fuck up at getting them out though, so that sucks
>The human Slavemaster then jumpscares us, starting combat with all of us but Akara being stuck cowering for one round
>Luckily for me though, Akara not being terrified shifts his focus and stops me from immediately being killed outright!
>Vyth then counters this fear bullshit by blackpilling him with the heartache spell, leaving him in the exact position we were in last turn
>Akara coup-de-graces that asshole despite a bunch of approaching enemy guards' best efforts, but he still almost gets shredded completely
>He survives though, leaving kisara open to fry 6 of the 8 not in melee with Akara
>Everybody but meepo takes on some guards, he's busy actually freeing the kobolds and getting them out of harm's way
>Akara goes down after a few too many hits though, so that's a big problem
>Vyth and Kisara finish off the remaining guards relatively quickly and help him back up though, so our hero doesn't die here!
>Meepo also finishes freeing all the bolds, so with Vyth's skellies fucking up the remaining humans, we decide it's time to cheese it
>We put Akara (while he's recovering) and the Slavemaster's corpse on the floating disk and bring them both out of the camp with us
>I know that I'm taking his whip for myself, the rest of his loot can be divided between Vyth and Akara
>As of there though, the session is over

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus ??? sacrificed for power

Nicely done! We saved more kobolds (a few of them being revealed as more siblings of Kisara/Adooris/Yusdrayl after I completely miss an obvious hint), and we killed the worst boss we've had to fight yet with minimal pants-shitting! I'm hoping that that whip I get's going to have some kickass powers to use against the gnome, but if not then it still makes for a cool trophy for Kisara's growing horde. Onwards to the next part of this mission, finding that asshole cleric and putting him down to get our shit back and reclaim our pride! See you guys next week!
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
Perhaps I didn't describe this accurately. The zombies in the fort weren't attacking the marines; they were following their orders and marching out of the camp.
Pic semi-related.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we killed the slavemaster, freed some kobolds, and fucked up the major stronghold of human resistance to our raid (and I lost my session notes for this last one because my browser crashed...)

>This time, we're going back to the rendezvous point by a gnoll demon lady and her gagglefuck of retards, and she's definitely a bit scary but her entourage breaks and then she bugs out
>There are also some grosser than usual gnomes helping her out, and it's revealed that these assholes worship a somehow more evil gnomish deity that just wants to consoom
>We move on and report back, delivering the freed kobolds and the slavemaster's corpse
>We then get word that there's a bunch of dancing Israelis gnomes around the place, so we investigate
>Turns out they're all illusions, and the spots on the horizon hint has told us nothing yet
>We're at least on the right track with the gnomes and their ritual though, so that's good
>We're rudely interrupted by a gnoll necromancer and her ghouls though, so we have to waste more precious time and spells on dealing with these interrupting cunts instead of our true enemy
>And that's where shit ends

Until now! Hopefully we aren't interrupted again and can actually get to the bottom of this crap chute so we can make that one evil tree stop wigging out and get our home back, but if it's as I suspect and we don't, then... fuck.
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we beat the tar out of a gnoll necromancer and her goonsquad while making no headway on our investigation

>Now, we're still standing around and waiting for something to happen to yield new information
>The gnomes are illusions, we know that, now what else can we find out?
>Well, we can find out that we need to make listen checks
>Wait, never mind, it's just Yusdrayl and some of her own mooks
>Apparently she got worried about us being out here and gathered a rescue squad since four kobolds in a warzone is apparently a death sentence instead of a covert ops team
>We put her mind at ease by informing her that we survived the Spawncampers' collapse and killed every gnome there with only three of us, and she then opts to join us on what's left of the investigation
>Said investigation is also cut even shorter by a bright flash of blue and a sonic boom from the center of town, and upon knowledge rolls being made, we learn that the humans have just used the Emperor's Seal
>Said seal being activated means one of two things: either the remaining human population is being bugged out, or they're bugging in an entire subjugation force
>Either way, shit's FUBAR and we need to scram
>We abandon the investigation and start circling around Oakherst to meet back up at the rendezvous point, but along the way two things happen
>1: We get ambushed by more gnolls and the martials take them out quickly while at least Kisara decides that it's better to just run
>2: We notice a pattern in the illusory gnomes, particularly that they all seem to be situated behind shops!
>Perfect, there's our clue!
>We stealth our way over to a shop now and head in the back, finding the shopkeeper dead on the floor and a knife in his back matching the type of knife that we know is used by the assholes we're looking for
>We also find a secret tunnel under a trapdoor, but knowing what we do, we check it for traps
>The door is trapped, the tunnel's VERY trapped, and by the time we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we are paranoid of more traps
>Also, in fear of actually risking our lives in a real fight here, we wait outside the light and plan for a while since this seems like the place to find Dickhead Stickyfingers
>Such plans include splitting the party to get help while the rest of us forge ahead, sending one of Yusdrayl's guards to do the same, and even just full tactical retreating back to the rendezvous point to report our findings and bring the entire raid force down into the complex
>We don't settle on anything actually tactical though, since I have a fart in a jar that I saved from some optional fight we had a while ago!
>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
>The gnomes in the room are all gassed, and since we completely misjudged just how much this spell would spread, we also retreat back up the tunnel until it stops chasing us at an incline
>Through some other knowledge rolls, we also learn that this spell will last for around 10 minutes and, so long as it's not forced to travel up an incline, will spread up to a 900-foot radius
>Well then!
>The gurgled kvetching of well over 300 gnomes eventually echoes up the tunnel to us, all the while Kisara starts laughing maniacally at her own spark of mad genius playing out somehow much better than even she expected until the 10 minutes pass and we get to explore what apparently is actually a full underground complex!
>We make our way into the first room, find a couple clerics of berefart who were BRAAAPed to death, loot their bodies, and find nothing of use to us, so we move on deeper
>As we move deeper, we find that this was more than just the site of some berefart bitchass cultists conducting a ritual, it was an entire gnomish safehouse in the event of a raid on the town!
>Minecarts of dead gnomes are passed, counted, and added to the total, gnome corpses are found in the middle of doing mundane things like buying, selling, and eating food (which Kisara of course steals and eats some of), and more of those clerics are found and their corpses looted to see if any of them are our guy
>Eventually, we make it to a place directly under the town center, what seems to be a full nexus of the gnomish refugee efforts littered with the corpses of various gnomes and more clerics, but still none of them are our guy
>Damn, we missed him!
>Oh well, maybe he's still up ahead?
>Well, I'd love to know, but Kisara just got tapped for well over her HP total and goes down, forcing me to action-point stabilize!
>And behind us, bloody and looking very worse for wear but nowhere near dead yet, is Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>Initiative is rolled and the fight starts, everybody who goes into melee with him either almost dies or, in the unlucky case of one kobold who got some unlucky rolls, outright dies
>This is also within the first turn, so this guy's probably going to TPK us and I make my displeasure known while the DM counters with the fact that this encounter was supposed to be very different and he was supposed to be much less bloodthirsty
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
>Entirely fair, but I'm still salty
>Luckily though, Meepo scores an incredibly lucky triple crit after Akara and the mooks soften the gnigger up a bit, allowing him to effectively blow his head apart with a high velocity slug from his summoned shotgun!
>This ends the bossfight and we're, surprisingly enough, not entirely dead! Everybody picks up and we dust ourselves off, saying a few quick words about the fallen guy and hyping up Meepo for saving our asses
>The session ends there though, since the DM had no idea how to keep going after his boss died
Kisara's Player
An INCREDIBLY productive session! We've solved the ritual, killed damn near 400 gnomes, and we killed our first BBEG even if it was entirely by Lady Luck deciding that the dice love us today for some reason! Also, we got a relic of Kurtulmak that that asshole swiped a while back, it's basically a wearable bag of holding that we find all of our missing shit in! Hopefully we also find the missing coin so we can calm the evil tree back down and hopefully salvage what's left of our previous home, but if not we did just clear out a fairly large underground complex that was premade, so... Well. Anyway, now that this (what I consider to be) side mission is over, we can hopefully end off this other side mission and then continue about uniting every kobold tribe in the area into the Neo Spawncampers! Either way, I'll see you all next sunday for the next session and whatever comes next!

>Current gnome kill count: 683 dead, 6 sacrificed for power, and 1 asshole who's getting eaten as soon as we get back to camp whether he's cooked or not
>>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
In all technicality, you didn't actually need to use that, since Cloudkill has pretty decent range. I just treated it as a +1 circumstance bonus to the caster level check (which I rolled secretly) needed to activate the scroll in the first place (failure could have meant a mishap that would have killed all of you instantly).
And you succeeded, and I learned why you don't give low level parties randomized scrolls of high level spells...
>will spread up to a 900-foot radius
Incorrect, actually. The Cloudkill spell simply moves 10 feet away from the caster every round. It was due to the simplified layout of the dungeon (which was based on a subway system) that the spell managed to drift through every corner of the tunnel. The widest part of the dungeon was ~40 ft across. Had you actually fought through the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard.
I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you Xp. Also the spell had defiler bonuses due to how Belak scribed it.
>find a couple clerics
Yes, there were several Clerics in the dungeon, all of which had Dark Road prepared that would have ideally been able to create a bridge across the Cacophonous Canyon where the exit of the dungeon leads and evacuate the civilians. However, all of them but the boss were below lvl 3, so they died in the gas. All of the ones outside the initial spell's effect failed their spellcraft checks to properly identify it as a Cloudkill spell (they thought it was just a Fog Cloud spell with hostiles hidden in it, and braced for battle), which meant that they too perished in the gas.
Erkey Timbers had his skills spread so thin that he failed his Concentration check to cast his own Dark Road, which meant he was pushed and trampled by a mob of panicking gnomes who fell into the gorge as the gas advanced on them.
>Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
Yep. One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died).
Erkey Timbers, if that was even his real name (it wasn't), was the sole survivor of the dungeon. Having lost a great amount of Constitution from the gas, and blinded by rage and fury. He forwent his planned illusionary deception/stalling routine and instead elected to buff himself with every combat spell he had, intent on murdering any mage that could have been capable of casting the spell that that slew his flock. After taking some nasty hits, he was defeated.

The session didn't really go as planned, but it certainly was fun.
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Funny genocide spell
Kisara's Player
>I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you
tbh I think that actually worked better than just making it go forward, after all gas diffuses in every direction it can and, if it's heavier than air due to the magical toxins, that would mean it's supposed to flow downwards anyway, like how it was roleplayed during the session.
>had you actually fought the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard
so yeah, a very good idea that we cloudkilled the place instead of trying to actually navigate it lmao
>One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died)
I shudder to imagine what those two would've been capable of if they had also survived alongside our target, it probably would've been a fresh higher level party against our severely depleted low-level party and thus an absolute slaughter. Good thing they died!
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we managed to kill our great enemy and looted his corpse, retrieving our stuff and reclaiming our honor!

>Now, we're still in the tunnel and celebrating our triumph over this powerful foe, lulled into a sense of security by the stillness of the tunnel around us
>Such celebration was, unsurprisingly, cut short when we heard something coming from deeper within the tunnel
>It was... skittering?
>Mechanical skittering, and a lot of it!
>We're suddenly being run down by a horde of copper spiders and we have to get out of here yesterday!
>This thought is also punctuated by a deafening draconic roar from outside of our darkvision range, coming from an immense silhouette!
>This dragon then crawls forward, revealing itself to be a copper dragon whose eyes are heavily bleeding and is just as pissed off as the jerkoff we just killed
>It screams something about wanting to know who disturbed its lair, and we all stay quiet like the smart kobolds we were, while also making like trees and running the fuck away
>The dragon and its mech army pursues us, the dragon almost catching and instakilling Akara, but I blow my last wings of cover spell and save him from a particularly swift and gruesome demise
>We then manage to pull away from the dragon and exit the tunnels, returning to the shop we initially came from and noticing that the state of affairs has changed yet again
>Now even the gnolls are in full retreat, being assaulted by Minecraft's finest in the form of a bunch of big beefy golems
>Two of which were patrolling around the front and back of this shop respectively, one of which was standing between us and retreating back to the rendezvous point yet again
>However, this was an easy thing to overcome, as some good lore rolls gave us the reminder that golems short out from electricity spells and Kisara still had almost all of her level 0 spells!
>Kisara hides just inside a window and stealthily casts thunderhead, putting a dark cloud over the golem and leaving him in a state of shock as a small pack of kobolds charges out of the shop right in front of him!
>From there, we were unimpeded in getting back to the rendezvous point, but we found it deserted
>The bastards left us behind...
>A mistake they won't make again, once we prove to them just how good their A-Team (or maybe the K-team?) is!
>We track down the obvious trail of kobold prints as they file back to camp, but along the way we get interrupted by a bunch of ugly fucking demons
>The martials handle them while Kisara plinks at them with a crossbow, accomplishing roughly nothing in the process until they're all dead
>This then leaves us open again to getting to camp, which we manage to get back to in decent time, surprising everyone there yet again
>We're given a hero's welcome and we report our findings and lootings to Ukri who's suitably impressed, and we take our appropriate share of all the loot inside the asshole's cloak while moving on to our next mission the next day
>The K-Team then returns to the carved geode in the woods to talk to the Oread again and see which coin is the one we're looking for to calm down the tree, and after bribing her with 75PP worth of copper coins among assorted other coins, she answers us
>She pulls an exceedingly old looking gold coin from the pile, giving it back to us while taking all of the remaining coins into a hole under her rock while Vyth continues trying to get with her, and Kisara mockingly tries to help
>After that, with our new plan set, we get ready to delve back into the temple of Chronepsis and give the coin back to the tree and hopefully reclaim our new home!
>And the session ended there

Good session, and good escaping! Somehow we managed to outrun a copper dragon and live to see the next day, and now we just have to get to the tree and give it the coin to hopefully get it to go back to sleep and stop trying to dig its way to the surface. After that, we can hopefully retake our home and move on to the next kobold tribe in the area to make the Neo-Spawncampers one tribe stronger! See you guys... Well, in a couple hours, honestly.
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Highlights from last week's session
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Highlights from last session:
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we managed to escape the final fuckening of our time in the village and secured our next step in the process of calming the tree back down

>With our new direction secured, we go through the forest again to get back to the temple
>The forest is a lot more ominous now too
>We make our rolls and learn that it's some kind of a haunt, it's probably the tree's fault in some way or something
>All of a sudden, the weasels start barking at something above us!
>Some shit then falls on us, turns out it's troll monkes
>Vyth gets immediately grappled and then pulled up the tree by one, everyone else is fine so far
>Some cockass random fucking gnome then blinds us all and makes the fight that much harder before he gets eaten by a spare troll because we got access to a new mechanic (plot points), but it doesn't help much given the damage is already done
>Pretty soon, all of us but Akara are grappled
>I'm under a third health
>Vyth is dragged up a tree again, Yusdrayl was dropped from high up, everybody's kinda fucked
>Luckily Yusdrayl manages to kill the one dragging me up the tree, so the TPK isn't happening yet
>However, the battle still takes a hot minute to finish and Vyth almost dies
>Maybe monkeys just shouldn't be used since they end up threatening TPKs for no reason most of the time... flashbacks to Red Hand of Doom
>Enough being salty though, I haven't actually died yet and thus don't need to pull a Henderson out of my ass
>We then grab the limited loot and Kisara slaps her teammates for being fags
>We then continue through this forest of garbage back to the temple yet again
>Time to see if we can make it through to the place we need to go or if we get fucked again!
>No fuckings here, luckily, so we make it to the temple and get inside
>We then start climbing down a rope to get where we need to go
>However, the cock ass imp from a long fucking time ago gnaws the rope apart, causing all of us but Akara to fall
>Oh boy, time to die to fall damage!
>Nope, just take half your health...
>So many fun surprise mechanics this session
>We heal up and then properly go inside
>On the way in, we see a bunch of different kinds of footprints, probably fucking adventurers or something
>We then go downstairs, but it turns out they were trapped with grease and fire!
>Vyth uses create water to help us, but some shadowy thing chases us down the stairs
>We manage to get past it into the actual temple proper now, and it's probably also infested with goblins again
>For old time's sake, we check on the skeleton closet
>It's helped us wonderfully by killing all sorts of dudes even in our absence!
>It even got to the point that somebody had to paint "NOT" over the treasure room sign!
>Lol, lmao
>We do decide to take the bois with us though since we may need them on the crawl ahead, as well as using the nightcaller that we forgot we had to raise some of the miscellaneous corpses
>With our forces sufficiently buffed, we continue moving our way towards the tree
>On the way we find another gnome in a box, we ice it immediately since we're not making that mistake a second time
>There's a mole too, which is very angry and decides to frightful presence us on its turn
>Kisara attacks it with a three-thunders lightning ball, but it does nothing to stun the mole
>Why did I take this feat again?
>Anyway, the fight goes on and more gnomes in cages are splattered while the mole keeps doing things in its ragey cage trying to break out
>One of the "gnomes" then just gets fucking gigantic though for some reason, breaking out of its cage and growing to 12 feet tall somehow
>This weird gnome, after knowledge rolls, is revealed to be a spriggan, some pseudo-gnome that worships the "only" evil deity in the gnomish pantheon, a neutered mole that wants to consoom
>The session ends there though, so this fight will end another day!

Another one of the sessions of all time, and between fear monkeys and now grab monkeys I now don't trust any kind of monkey to be a balanced fight in DnD. Anyway, I guess we now have our next major target for this campaign: Angry Mole and the Gneutered Gnome Squad, whom we need to beat to reclaim our lost and defiled home!
>limited loot
Those trolls were actually pretty loaded considering that they're CR 2.
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Highlights from yesterday's session:
To anybody who's interested, the KKK is open to new members.
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Kisara's Player, the Technologically Challenged
Ok, so where we left off there was a big ass spriggan and a mole raging in its wagey cage in the room we were in on our way back to the bigass tree to give it back its coin.

>Still in the room and doing combat, everybody else works on killing the spriggan while Kisara continues plinking the mole with spells
>Spriggan finally dies and due to fear auras from the mole we all have to retreat when it finally stops being held in a corner
>We all run back to the front entryway as the mole is left to do... demonic mole things, I guess
>One of us then gets the bright idea to go back out the way we came in, upon which the eldritch horror we left outside creates another fear aura to drive us to halfway in between it and the mole
>We then spend our time regrouping in a closet until we get our sanity back, upon which we see what all the mole's gotten up to
>Apparently it's now huge and tearing its way through the gnome/spriggan population of this place
>lol, lmao even
>All the same, we decide to make things a little more even by throwing some damage at the mole's ass before hightailing it around the alternate way to the tree hole
>We get involved with some spriggans also trying to flank it, and pester them accordingly while making sure the mole also gets some appropriate peppering before we initiate operation backdoor
>Along the way, we also break a few more captured kobolds out of their imprisonment and bring them with us !
>From here, we manage to sneak along fairly undisturbed aside from one more group of several spriggans, all of whom go down fairly easily now that we know what they're up to and all
>We then start pushing through the final stretch until we come across an area that we need to actually push through, namely a small hole made from one of the tree limbs cutting off the hallway
>The skeletons stand guard at the rear while kobolds squeeze their way through, until the final one, Yusdrayl, gets her fat ass stuck for four rounds until she's been greased, pushed on from behind by two skeletons, and pulled on from the front by several kobolds
>And the bitch has the audacity to pull out her jug of whipped cream and continue gorging herself after making it through because "her tail got singed"
>An argument then ensues with Yusdrayl trying to deny the obvious to everyone while Kisara tries to turn it around against her to maybe inspire her to not be the only kobold who can't count as tiny while squeezing, but the brainlets we rescued don't listen to reason, Akara follows the crowd, and Vyth fails his sense motive roll
>However, said roll then prompts a heal check, upon which we learn some things OOC that will be saved until Vyth's player opts to finally spill the beans IC
>And that's where things ended

And now it's 1:39 AM on the following sunday and I'm just now getting this out because I lost my tabs twice through technical difficulties and had to remember all this on the fly! There's probably going to be errors, but what do you expect from a sleep-deprived man a week after the fact? Anyway, this next session's when we go back into the tree hole, so let's see how that goes!
Highlights from today's session:
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, Yusdrayl got stuck in a hole and we made it back to the hole down to the basement!

>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
>We attempt to negotiate with him about the coin since he appears to still be sentient, but all that prompts is for him to dominate Kisara and send a bunch of our rescued kobolds into the pit to die
>As I was now no longer in control of my character, I was immediately dreading my imminent demise or worse, a TPK
>However, as I could do literally nothing to stop it, I opted to waste my time elsewhere for long enough to microwave some leftover pizza and ate it while watching youtube and waiting for something to happen
>And eventually something does happen, after two of my spells were burned with the purpose of killing the rest of the party Yusdrayl manages to dispel the domination instead of running away which she had a coinflip to do
>Anyway, with that mess handled, we finally get back to our actual purpose here
>Mainly, the coin
>Except all of our routes are cut off by roots
>Joy, more squeezing
>We then decide to go do something more worth our time, so Kisara throws the coin somewhere frustratedly and we all make for the underdark entrance we found here before
>Except that it's been blocked off by rocks
>Well, we dig through the rocks and find a burrowroot on the other side, a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
>We all decide to fuck off now, with Vyth spawning a giant centipede to hold the root at bay until we can squeeze through the opposite doorway
>We also don't forget the coin either
>Now that we're not in combat anymore, we're able to get away and regroup to treat some wounds inflicted by the plant and actually get back to what our initial mission was
>Before that though, we encounter some kind of weird dragon made of debris and detritus
>Said "dragon" turns out to be a guardian of the temple, a dragon's soul manifested into a body made of the area its sworn to defend or something
>Anyway, the "dragon" hears us and stares us down for a while before it makes a sense motive check on us, finds that we're here for a good reason, and lets us pass to the treasure room to deliver the coin
>And now, we're parked in front of said room after Vyth almost got eviscerated by the tree for trying to get in except it saw the coin and let him go without any problems
>And then the session ended, except in-text RP after the fact says that there's something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again

>And that's where the session ended, hopefully the next one's less fucky and I don't have any more of my spells burned by someone that isn't me. However, given I'm the party's main DPS for as long as I have spells, I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water and it's only a matter of time before it happens again somehow (either that or my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party). See you all next week, I guess?
>I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water
[deranged laughter]
>>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
Clarification: you did not recognize anything familiar about this particular elf. It's face was rotting and falling away.
You did, however, recognize the look of utter madness in its glowing green eyes, similar to those of Belak (aka The Preacher).
>a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
Don't forget the part where it can move it's speed as an immediate action. Probably it's scariest ability, in terms of survivability.
Also, it's not poisonous. It just leaves nasty, gaping sounds that bleed profusely and reduce your constitution.
>>We also don't forget the coin either
Yeah, throwing it away might've been painful without Vyth's Luck.
>makes a sense motive check on us
Not entirely accurate, but the creature didn't seem hostile to you, for some reason.
>something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again
>my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party
Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again. It's only by luck of the flowcharts that it hasn't happened that often yet.
Benign Transposition is a bitch.
Kisara's Player
>Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again
Duly noted, time to find ways to get around this in some way
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AI Kisara art
What AI generated that and how did you get such a good result?
It was done by a friend of Kisara's player, over the course of several hours.
>it was a website that required a 10$ subscription, that's all I remember

Also, if you're interested in playing, now would be a great time to introduce new characters.
Some highlights from today's session:
More highlights
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we were just outside the room where we needed to put the coin into and Vyth almost got skewered by the tree in response, but didn't at the last second

>Now, we're still stuck down in the dungeon and we're no closer to figuring out how to do what we need to
>With that out of the way, we decide our best option would probably be to find shroombro so he can help us out
>We get to looking around and eventually find a bunch more of the crazy ass elf corpses fighting a fuckoff pile of gnomes with thoqquas and the tree thingies forming a moshpit around them
>We decide we'd rather not get involved with this clusterfuck, but Vyth gets contacted by one of the preachers
>She asks us what in the fuck we're doing here, upon which all of us but Vyth opt to not get involved, but we're dragged into it as soon as we learn that the priest will help us if we prove we aren't hostile
>We throw some spells into the enemy gnomes who have three particularly disgusting guys with edgy names that I don't remember, so I'll just call them Khorne, Tzeentch, and Nurgle due to their respective attributes
>One's fat and disgusting, one's angry and on fire, and the last one's an anorexic goblin (if I remember correctly, at least)
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
>Luckily for us, this was enough and we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
>Said journey is by no means easy though, as we're first ambushed by skeletons (not particularly hard, but we're out of healing and low on spells so it could've gotten rocky)
>Speaking of getting rocky, we then get ambushed by a few more of those gem-eating bugs and are forced to fight on both sides!
>During this fight, I, in my unlimited knowledge and wisdom, almost end up just throwing in the towel because I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
>Anyway, the bugs are killed and we end up hearing some laughing from nearby
>Some Jevil-looking motherfucker popped out of thin air and started to laugh at us before realizing we could see him and then hid behind a nearby root
>We decide to confront him and find that he's some kind of undead made from a bard or other performer with some kind of unfinished business that can only be gotten rid of by beating him in a battle of wits and then forcing his ultimate purpose upon him, and he's likely made from one or more of the gnomes we killed for various reasons
>We name him chucklefuck
>Anyway, Kisara being the prideful lizard she is, she starts hammering him with questions to try to find one that he doesn't know but she does, while Vyth takes the complete different approach and instead decides to turn his own existence against him by laughing at him for being dead
>We manage to pester him into leaving us alone for the day (supposedly), but after Kisara has her words changed into something completely different as they leave her mouth, we find that he's not truly gone
>Well, at least chucklefuck isn't a physical threat...
>Anyway, Vyth then has to get the preacher's attention since it's doing something with some kind of tree spirit, and he almost gets killed by it but is rescued by Akara at the last moment
>We do eventually get the elf's attention and continue going though, so that's good
>Next up, we find a room full of scarred and charred mushrooms!
>Clearly the work of the chaos gnomes, and also all the more upsetting as failing a fortitude save shows us that it's the collective colony of myconids that lived here!
>All that remains is a little puffball sheltering under a corpse, so we go to get him out and preserve at least one of this population
>No one deserves such a callous genocide, and with the perpetrators being gnomish, at least Kisara can't help but see parallels to her own existence
>Unfortunately, said corpse the little guy was stuck under was full of rotgrubs!
>We all get the fuck out and a skeleton pulls Mini Shroombro out from under the pile as we leave the room, but the grubs aren't done with us yet!
>Kisara throws a lightning bolt at the tide of nasties, vaporizing a fair few, but there are way more where that came from
>We're forced to think not just on our feet, but on both the back foot and our toes at the same time
>We use resources that we barely knew we had in unexpected ways, and even that's not enough entirely as Akara almost succumbs to a rotgrub infestation and flat-out dies, but Vyth's player strikes a faustian bargain with our DM for three session recaps in exchange for an action point reroll in advance
>He accepts the deal, seeing as how we were even out of those and I couldn't help or transfer my final point for this roll and we didn't want to lose our best (and only) melee attacker/meat wall
>The dice are rolled, and Akara lives!
>The swarm is also dealt with after this, with the skeletons carrying us through their remaining presence since apparently even killing them doesn't quite kill them or something
>But now, without any further issues, we continue on to the final goal of our time in this hellhole
>The elf finishes leading us back to the treasury and claims the blade that we stole from the other faggoty elf that we killed last time we were down here and uses it to cut open the doors, meaning we're now able to do what we need to!
>Mini Shroombro and the priest are still saying things about a sacrifice, so we have to figure out how we have goat blood and red fruits on us, but it turns out to all be an elaborate mistranslation for strawberries and cream, something that Yusdrayl had been hoarding ever since the village
>Anyway, Kisara bullshits the jug off her and Vyth conducts a ritual with it, leading to him getting something referred to as the "heart of the lady"
Kisara's Player
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>Said heart is a pulsating woodball that we get no other instructions for other than what boiled down to "take this and run"
>The preacher then ditches us, leaving us without any other companions...
>...Besides one friend-shaped mushroom with no job and soon no home
>That is, if we weren't generous enough to take him with us!
>That's right, Shroombro's part of the gang!
>We manage to take our two very important claims with us out of the dungeon rather unmolested as well, leaving the way we came in since dealing with that burrowroot would've been suicide
>After that, it's a relatively uneventful walk back to camp through the forest we came there through, with Kisara holding her emotional support mushroom like Misty held Togepi in the pokemon anime
>Once we get back though, we find that time skipped again while we were down in the temple
>Eh, it's more normal now
>That, and at this point Ukri should know to hold position until we're back at camp since we've managed to come back from otherwise suicidal odds this many times so far
>After this, Vyth finally drops the news that Yusdrayl's pregnant
>She reacts positively to this news, and Kisara does so as well until it's just her and Vyth, upon which she expresses her sympathy towards him for this
>After that, everyone passes out and the session ends after a massively productive 8 hours!

A good session! We're finally done with this weird subquest and have managed to navigate one of the many apocalypses that this world will undergo, and we also got another friend out of it all! We also got chucklefuck, but again, at least he's not a physical threat. Anyway, next session the Neo-Spawncampers hit the road again and seek out a new home and likely a new tribe to absorb/absorb into! Onwards to the next tribe, untill all are one and the true fuckening can begin!
Also expect a picture of Kisara and Mini Shroombro at some point because I find the idea too cute to not put to paper
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
They set off AoEs targeting everyone in the room, and then escaped underground when their ally appeared and told them something.
You do not know their names.
>we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
Effectively. The Preacher's curse caused it to mistake you for one of its followers, believing you had an offering for The Lady.
>I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
Eh, perhaps I could have described the situation more clearly.
>popped out of thin air
His invisibility was exposed by the beetle's Glitterdust.
Kisara's Player
And here's the picture, complete with both kobold and depressed mushroom!
Myconid massacre
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I was trapped underground again in what I was sure would be my death. How does this keep happening to me? We couldn't go back with the burrowroot in the way, and we couldn't go into the shrine because it covered in a meat grinder of vines and thorns. Theoretically I could disarm it, but I had a feeling my luck was starting to run out. Any other day I'd have gladly given my life to try and save everyone else, but now I had other things to think about. Well, there was one other path we hadn't taken, and that would be going to the tree. so we went towards the tree. Squeezing through the overgrown branches and vines we could hear the sounds of fighting up ahead.

Crawling to investigate we found a large group of gnomes and spriggans and animals fighting against a smaller group of elves and twig blights. Leading the gnomish side was a group of three spriggans, each of them seemed immensely powerful. They weren't really fighting, they were showing off. We were no match for them in our current shape.

I decided to try asking one of the elves how to disable the thorny meat grinder using message, but she didn't seem very trusting of us. For a second Yusdrayl seemed angry that I could cast message, like she thought she owned the spell or something, then she decided to cast it herself to help me in pursuading the elf. To help prove that we weren't helping the gnomes, I gladly cast gnome blight into the group of spriggans and Kisara, following my lead, shot a few lightning spells, missing them completely and instead only hitting a few twig blights. This attracted their attention. We retreated a bit and hid behind some cover.

Then, what looked like a cross between a spriggan and a golem burrowed up from underground, and brought what looked like 30 gnomes with it. A moment later we were all It hit with a very powerful fire spell. It almost killed us and we ran back into the cover of vines and branches. I used the last of my useful healing spells to keep everyone alive, but we were all still half dead.

Yusdrayl and I spent a few moments trying to get one of the surviving elves to help us, and eventually one did. Well, at least I think it was an elf, or a shadow of one. Whatever it was, it was terrifying to be around. Sometimes, for a moment, the elf would turn into... something else. Sometimes bark covered flesh, sometimes something with far too many eyes seemingly staring into my soul. Regardless to say it was creepy. The elf led us back to it's study and offered us, or more specifically me, some tea. With some help, I managed to convince it that we were in a hurry. It seemed to accept this and led us through the dungeon to shrine room.

We were ambushed by skeletons, and one rebuke undead later I was in control of them. They helped when we were attacked by a group of gem scarabs, with one of them being much larger than the rest. They weren't really that hard even with us being heavily wounded. However, during the fighting I noticed something. Something that I ignored to make sure Yusdrayl was alright. But then it started laughing at us. We traded insults for a bit, but I eventually convinced it to leave us alone temporarily so we might actually survive this. While this is all going on the elf was staring off into nothingness in a room off to the side. The only thing in the room is a large tree, so I approached the elf and the tree smacked me. Hard enough to kill me, but thankfully I still had a single spell I could use to just barely keep me alive.

The elf finally snapped out of it and led us to a room to the south. It was filled with charred and broken myconid corpses, with only one survivor. It was a tiny thing trapped under a much larger corpse. Akara and I try to free it, and for our trouble we're attacked by rot grubs. We retreat and I use one of my last spells and to sicken all of us, including the rot grubs. It was too late, and Akara was infested. He would die, but using a bit more luck than I had I managed to rip out the grub burrowing underneath his scales, pull it out, and smash it underneath my foot.

After killing the swarm the elf finally pulls it's head out of it's ass and leads us to where we needed to go in the first place. The elf just walks towards the door and the vines surrounding it disappear. We enter and are expected to make a sacrifice. A crimson fruit and 'blood' of a goat. We didn't think we had any of those. Turns out 'blood' part is really just a bit of a difference in dialect, and actually meant 'essence' and someone has been eating strawberries in cream this entire time. Yusdrayl. I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.

Anyway, I did the ritual written in stone around the altar and walked into a stone. Very soon after I was violently kicked out of it with a large wooden seed in my arms. I ignored how it was pulsating and seemingly speaking to me inside my mind and shoved it in my pack. The elf was gone, and Kisara had taken possession of the myconid. We left the way we came in, through the front door. The shadow dragon thing that had been blocking it had left and we quickly scurried out of there. Kisara used a patch from her cloak to get us a ladder to climb the collapsed stairs and Akara climbed the cliff with a troll gut rope and tied it down so the rest of us could climb up and out of that damned place.

We were on guard the rest of the way back to camp. Thankfully nothing tried to kill us as we walked back. We had been gone for four days even though we only spent a few hours there. It wasn't entirely unexpected as the whole place was a temple dedicated to Chronepsis sometime in the past. I was glad to be back and immediately grabbed Yusdrayl for some nose to nose cuddling. I also told her she's pregnant. I fell asleep soon after.
That's a Dune's worm.
It's my sad attempt at drawing a rotgrub leaping at the viewer.
>I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.
Unironically yes, but also because I had initially intended to require you guys to perform a series of quests to discover the sacrifice components, but as I spotted that you'd entirely forgotten it early on, I figured it would be unfun to reveal it later.
Oakhurst was one of three locations where the sacrificial ingredients could be gathered. Optionally, you could have raided a nearby farm, or gathered the fruit from where it grew on a mountain. Offering an incorrect sacrifice could have been ironic and frightening with the right set-up, but only if you knew about it in the first place.
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Highlights from this week's session:

I needed more information on this "seed" I was given. It was magical and evil, I knew that much, but beyond that nobody had any idea what it was. I grabbed Kisara and temporarily rescued Akara from being bullied and set off to go ask my best friend in the whole world that's also an oread, Silitdiwerverthicha, about this seed.

We were ambushed by a couple of demons and a spriggan who had evidently summoned them. It was an easy fight, and we even came across a caravan of gnomes that had been ambushed too. We quickly killed any survivors and got to looting the remains. Unfortunately the sound of fighting had attracted a group of gnome illusionists and their force golem escort.

After a short scuffle with the gnomes Kisara cast Mass Invisibility and we all ran off, but they somehow followed us. I hit the gnomes with gnome blight while Kisara and Akara waited in ambush. As the golem approached me and I created a simulacrum of myself to confuse it. I cast Spiritual Weapon and had it attack the golem while Kisara pelted it with magic missiles. It was the only casualty of this battle as the gnomes took this opportunity to run away.

We had finally made it to Silitdiwerverthicha's stone. She didn't seem like she wanted to be disturbed, but after some convincing she finally came out to see us. Not that I needed a reason to come see my best friend, but we did have one. After a bit of explaining and she helpfully informed us that the seed could start growing at any time, and that we should take it as far away from her as possible. As an afterthought I asked her what I can do to free her from her stone in the forest and get her back to a mountain that would truly compare to her beauty.

But then there was the bitch, the fucking Dryad bitch that laughed at MY best friend. After some choice comments about how she's not guarding the forest she threw a spriggan head at me and disappeared. She even chased Silitdiwerverthicha back into her rock. What a cunt.

While I would've loved to spend all day speaking to my best friend, she didn't want to be bothered anymore so we left and headed back to the tribe. Thankfully, nothing decided to try attacking us on our way back. Kisara took Akara off to talk about something weird while I went to the meditation circle.

Yusdrayl was there, but I knew better than to interrupt someone while they're meditating. Apparently she didn't, as soon after I sat down she started bothering me about what I was doing that morning and what I was planning to do later and whatever else came to her mind. After being subtle didn't work, I told her to leave me alone for a bit and well, at least she stopped talking. Not that it really helped as I could still faintly hear Akara screaming for help. He'll get over it.

After that we came up with some plans on what to do now. We heard of three other kobold tribes in the area, one led by a madman, one near a big geode, and one much further away in the Emerald Forest. We decided that we should take the our now homeless tribe and try our luck at the geode.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just made it home from the temple and were getting preparations ready to pack up camp and head out again for the next tribe to integrate

>This time, we have some last business to get to before we completely leave the area
>In particular, we need to ask our oread friend about the seed and I need to see how best to keep a myconid happy and healthy
>Vyth and Kisara both meet up and discuss this and then decide that Akara would be useful in translating again, so we go try to find him
>When we do so, we find him in the middle of a crowd of warriors as he's raped by the chief torturer for the umpteenth time
>Sadly, we're having a harder time getting him some respect (unlike meepo, who's gotten notably higher on the totem pole thanks to his summoned shotgun being a kickass weapon)
>Probably because he still acts like a dwarf when he thinks nobody's looking
>Anyway, we drag him out of the raping and start the walk out to the oread's rock after Kisara leaves Mini Shroombro in the hands of the biggest warrior she could still beat 1v1 for protection
>While we're out, we end up finding a pair of red orcs that cause my neurons to activate
>Unfortunately, they're demons and I have now learned the hard way that demons are immune to lightning
>The spriggans on said demons' backs aren't though
>The martials kill the demons soon enough though, and we're able to continue on and find out where they came from, given they came from the direction we're heading
>A caravan of gnomes, dead and or dying, lay strewn about before us
>Vyth grabs one of the dying and tries to interrogate them about the oread's rock, not knowing that we're still a ways off
>Kisara corrects this issue by killing said gnome while Akara stands around until a certain presence arrives
>Said presence being some more gnomes and a force golem
>One of those gnomes happens to be a mage, and an illusionist at that
>He traps us in a ring of spectral assholes, but we all escape out after dealing some chip damage to him and the golem under the cover of mass invisibility
>This lets us get closer to the rock, but unfortunately we're tracked down and we have to lay an ambush for them or risk getting our asses kicked again
>Kisara hides behind a tree, Vyth creates a double with incredible efficiency and accuracy, leaving himself completely free to do whatever he wants as the golem tries to kill the fake kobold
>He makes a spiritual weapon, and Kisara sits behind the tree and launches volley after volley of magic missiles into the golem and the illusionist
>Even after the illusionist blinds and reveals Kisara with a glitterbomb, she continues pelting them both thanks to the missiles having perfect accuracy
>Anyway, Vyth hacks apart the golem while Kisara blows up the pieces and pesters the wizard until the golem's dead and the wizard decides to cut his losses
>Yay, we're now free to do what we need to here!
>The three of us together pester the oread into appearing, with Vyth casting tongues to allow himself to talk in her native languages, Akara speaks in their shared dwarven, and Kisara just talks normally because apparently the oread picked up draconic in anticipation of dealing with more kobolds or something
>Vyth leads off by showing her the seed, upon which she tactically shits herself before telling us that she doesn't actually know anything about it but still wants it the hell away from her
>Kisara then asks about how to raise a myconid, and she tells me what I anticipated: keep it dark, and keep it moist
>Duly noted, hopefully a sack with some dampened leaflitter will suffice for our travel, because otherwise I got nothing
>Akara doesn't ask anything this time, but oh well
>Also, some pissbaby dryad shows up and bullies the oread for a while with Vyth berating it while Kisara threatens to make Smoky the Bear cry by holding a charge of scorching ray in the middle of a forest for intimidation
>Unfortunately, this doesn't work
>The dryad eventually fucks off though, so for one last question, Vyth asks if there's a way for us to free the oread from her rock and allow her to claim another mountain
>She's caught offguard by the question, but is nonetheless receptive to it and tells us that she'll think about it
>With that though, we return to camp and Vyth fucks off to a meditation circle while Kisara decides now would be the right time to play a sick nasty epic prank on the chief torturer, of course using Akara as her delivery device
>He's initially adamant that he doesn't want Kisara casting any spells on him, but after she explains that the spell is just a small shock trap that won't hurt him, he remains adamant about wanting no part of this
>Aw, really?
>Well, suit yourself!
>Kisara then leaves Akara to his fate, his screaming and dwarven cursing echoing through the camp with the only response that wasn't laughing or jeering being "You could've accepted my help!"
>Kisara then meets back up with Vyth after he finishes meditating and she finishes reclaiming Shroombro (with a little violence, just to keep the fear of Kurtulmak in those she decides to have help her), and they discuss ways to get Akara to stop being the butt of every raping, and our OOC conclusion is that we should try to bring him into the clergy for a bit of deprogramming and maybe even some mental toughening
>That would require us to get the permission of the chief warrior though, who happens to be the chief torturer...
>Well, maybe we can petition Ukri for Akara's transfer and use some fancy wording to get him to endorse it?
>Idk, that's just my idea

Anyway, the session officially ended with Akara getting raped again, so the rest of it was just ooc discussion that I turned into some minor fluff. Anyway, the next session is in a few hours, and I'm only hurting myself by staying up this late! See you all then, and I'm going to resist the urge to shoot myself or something, life is pain
Highlights from today's session:
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>Where we last left off, we had just gotten back to camp from asking the oread some questions and getting some answers

>Now, we're doing some last preparations before we leave the area
>Vyth takes care of some politics determining the actual when/where/how we're going with Ukri and the other local big shots, and the answers are tomorrow, to the madbold's tribe, and by plains
>After that, we go to check on mini shroombro again to make sure that that one warrior is keeping up his end of the bargain
>As it turns out, mini shroombro isn't so mini anymore!
>He grew considerably, now being equal in size to Kisara!
>I'm a little sad that my mushroom buddy only stayed with us for around 2 sessions, but he's got his own little mushroom garden going now and he's got some parting words for us
>He thanks us for saving him and gives us some mushrooms, three each for general wellness and one more each in case we need help
>We ask where he's going now that we're parting ways again so soon, but all he says is that he's going to meet the (chief myconid, I forgot the exact term used) now that he's on his own
>Kisara then ends this goodbye with a hug to her favorite mushroom, leaving the growing puffball to his journey
>With that, the session cuts ahead to our own journey to the next tribe!
>Our first day traveling the plains was rather uneventful, with us taking the point for scouting purposes with the rest of the tribe following behind, all the way through camping when the time for rest came
>The second day is also rather uneventful, but when resting time comes we are rudely interrupted by a bunch of angry blue fuckers
>I briefly have flashbacks to the gambols in RHoD, anticipating an incredibly hard fight ahead
>I wasn't too far off the mark about the hard fight, but instead of lion monkeys spamming fear auras it's a bunch of cronenberg centaurs that hate anything arcane!
>They surround the tribe and we roll initiative, those big fuckers proving to be quite the challenge even for well over 100 kobolds working together
>Fighting in the open sucks
>They start up autistic screeching for some reason, and it somehow knocks down most of the low-level kobolds, giving me a free shot at one of the bastards charging me down
>Kisara throws an unavoidable 26-damage lightning bolt at it, but the fucker doesn't even slow down!
>Yusdrayl also does what she can to hurt it, but it just keeps coming until it finally catches us, picks us both up, and screams at us about being mages in broken common
>Also, there's a magical storm going on right now, so that's important soon
>Starting now actually, as the storm strikes the bastard currently holding Kisara and Yusdrayl, causing us both to take damage as well as him
>He's unfazed, but I'm running on fumes
>At least he only deals more than my entire health pool in nonlethal damage, meaning I'm just choked out instead of choked to death
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
>Well, not technically a dragon, which we learn after Vyth finishes picking up Kisara to get her to try to make heads or tails of it
>Turns out it's an incredibly powerful entity known as the Serpent, an arcane being with unfathomable knowledge of magic and incredible power to share
>Kisara immediately sees a handy means to her ends, and calls out to it while Vyth continues helping out the downed kobolds and bringing all those not turned to chunky salsa back from the brink of death
>The Serpent's eye shifts, alighting on Kisara as she immediately fails a will save to get sent on a Dr. Strange-esque trip across the cosmos from inside her own mind, but makes another will save to understand that this is something born of her dragon heritage and not just her gaining the Serpent's attention
>Said trip ends with her floating adrift in the deep cosmos, looking onward as an immense dragon forms itself from the stars themselves before imprinting one statement onto the infinitely smaller kobold's mind
>Kisara then snaps out of the vision and the apparent seizure she'd been having, looking up at the fading form of the Serpent as it disappears to its next destination and cries out in desperation "But how do I find the stone circle!? Please, tell me!"
>The Serpent remains silent, its words continuing to echo through Kisara's head as she wracks her mind to find a solution to this puzzle with only one piece
>She asks around to the other kobolds who were given visions and finds nothing, but Vyth has more luck from checking his schizo book!
>As it turns out, there's a myth about Kurtulmak stealing sorcery from the Serpent for koboldkind, but nothing directly mentioned about the stone circle or where it is/how to get to it
>With that, Vyth makes the executive decision to have us doubletime it through the plains to get to our next stop on the trip, a forest
>We then rest in a cave on the border between the two, and that's it for the session

All in all, a good time! I like that Kisara's finding new ways to potentially expand her power, and I like that I'm getting close to level 6! The session itself was also fun, and I enjoyed the RP that came with it and also learning about this new force to keep in mind ||and I may have also seeded an idea in the DM's mind about how to handle Kisara being apprenticed to The Serpent, given how its last apprentice was Vecna (yes, that Vecna) and it still hasn't been able to collect on that necromantic nerd's soul yet after millennia...|| But, that's for time to tell! I'll see you all next week, and I hope to find more knowledge about my quest to obtain more and more power soon enough! Until next time!

Kisara's Player
>fail spoiler
>missing name
I'm an idiot. A tired idiot, but an idiot nonetheless
Kavern Master
Me, researching every ape-like monster in 3.5e, so that I can further traumatize Kisara's player
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
Only partly true. The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything, but galloping away in utter terror. Although he was strong enough to lay waste to the entire tribe by himself, he was scared shitless by the appearance of The Serpent. Although dimwitted and primitive creatures, the quaraphons called The Serpent by it's ancient Ur'Flan name as they fled.
Kisara's Player
>The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything
I didn't say he was dodging anything, I said he was getting the fuck out of dodge (AKA running away as if his life depended on it)

Off we went to find a new home. Before we left, we had to choose which path to take. After some divination magic and a vision of blue horses and a giant serpent, I determined we should go through the plains. This may not have been the safest decision, but it was one of the faster paths, taking a week rather than spending a month or two traveling.

We left after a few days. Kisara, Zags, Akara and I were scouting ahead of the main group. Everything was good for the first few days, but then we came across a series of gashes in the earth, as if something had tunneled out, killed something, then tunneled back into it. Some divination later and I'm certain that going forward would lead to our deaths and changing course would only be dangerous, so we change course to the east and continue on.

When darkness fell, we could tell something was wrong. I cast clairvoyance directly behind us just outside the range of my darkvision and saw... something. It was a blue four legged two armed... something. I couldn't get a good look at it, but I knew we were being hunted. Together we moved back to the main group. Thankfully we weren't attacked when outside the protection of the circle of spears.

Not that we had much chance to rest. There was a magic storm above when they attacked. I got a better look at them and they sure were some ugly fuckers. It seemed as if their eyes were placed randomly on their faces and they had a few too many mouths. We took a few casualties but we managed to fight them off, with only one of them roaring and putting 30 kobolds to sleep. The storm was getting worse. Yusdrayl saved us by dispelling the the strikes of the storm. We managed to kill 3 of those things when the largest among them leaped into the center of our circle. It was much more powerful than any of us. It could've killed us all, and put several kobolds to sleep with a roar, but soon after it arrived it ran away because the serpent appeared.

It appeared from the storm. While I was tending to the wounded, some koboldss tried speaking to it and immediately fell unconscious and started convulsing. Thankfully they all regained their senses within a few minutes. They all claimed to have a shared hallucination of being welcomed to a stone circle. Then as quickly as it appeared the serpent disappeared.

Many kobolds didn't survive the trip. It's my fault, as I saw the vision and decided we should go on this path anyway. I was able to save some of the more injured kobolds, but that's a small consolation for the lives I ended.

Fearing another attack from the blue things I encouraged the tribe to march without rest until we reached the end of the plains. We probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have another giant magic serpent appear from the sky to scare them away.

After another day or two of travel we finally reached the end of the plains. We found a small cave hidden away, barely big enough for all of us. We'd stay here while everyone rests. Yusdrayl seemed to be suffering from internal hemorrhaging and kobold hypothermia as a direct result. I used many spells to keep her alive. No kobold would lie about needing medical attention, would they?
>putting 30 kobolds to sleep
Correction: it didn't put them to sleep, it knocked them out with sonic damage.
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Highlights from today's session:
(don't worry; they survived, barely)
Kisara's Player
166217 166219
Okay, so it's been a fat while since I've posted here. In that time, we've almost died after wandering into a dwarven nuclear dumping site, we snuck into a bar and got hammered while learning of some quest hooks, and then we rescued some halflings from our weasels after the little shits broke free and decided to do their own thing while we were getting hammered. Meanwhile, IRL I have no real excuse for forgetting to do this shit, I just legitimately forgot for a while. Anyway...

>Where we last left off, all that shit above!

>This time, we've gotten back to camp and Kisara's still a little smashed from her time at the bar, one of the weasels is still snacking on a halfling corpse, and the rest of us are fine
>Anyway, we go to report on our findings to Ukri and how there's a kobold tribe nearby that we can talk to and potentially integrate, as well as getting free booze from the bar we visited and a bunch of money from a silver skeleton we can potentially trade in for stuff
>All of this is interrupted though when a holy Aztec turducken pops in out of nowhere, presumably from one of the halflings that we let so mercifully live after all that!
>Looks like we won't make that same mistake again...
>Anyway, all of us get together to face this thing down and Vyth tries to be charitable and negotiate with it, but it chooses violence and attacks Kisara for making a comment and trying to explain our side of things better (but she was still drunk, and it came out more rude than she expected lol)
>The bird then picks her up and ragdolls her through a grapple attack while everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
>The turducken puts up a good fight through its first stage, even swallowing Kisara and causing her to have to accept her fate again, except Akara ends up coming to her rescue yet again (he was the one responsible for saving us from the TPK in the nuclear dump), imprinting him even more onto her mind than he already was
>This totally won't become a thing, will it?
>Time will tell
>Anyway, the turkey is eviscerated and the duck is up next, with the wounded Kisara fleeing to the safety of the warrior line while everyone else continues the fight
>The duck doesn't like this though and chases down the fleeing kobold until it's once again struck down by Akara, leaving only the chicken to be butchered
>With the mandatory holiday bossfight over, we get in a rest and Yusdrayl finally lays the eggs she's been carrying
>With those matters settled, we head out to go find that new tribe with the advance party of Vyth, Yusdrayl, Kisara, Meepo, Akara, and Snogla (the chief torturer of the tribe)!
>Kisara also levels up, and I handle all the numbers of that before working out the actual matters of new spells and whatnot
>We start climbing the mountain nearby that houses these kobolds, and we eventually come across some giant planar rock crabs that try to bury us under mudslides
>We don't let them, and I make the embarrassing discovery that scintillating sphere is a much higher level spell than I thought it was...
>The crabs do go down though, thanks to our efforts as well as Vyth summoning an ogre zombie to block rocks and drag us through the mud
>Akara gets swept away in the mud though, which has everybody panicking and also gives me an opportunity to choose a new spell exactly for this situation!
>The spell lets me search a 30ft. cube for things, including people, and with its help and the help of Yusdrayl blowing some levitate spells, we're able to find Akara and save him from a muddy fate!
>Anyway, we continue up the mountain and eventually come across a promising area
>Unfortunately, before we can investigate further, we're ambushed by a pair of mountain drakes (I think?)
>Anyway, one of them chunks Vyth and the other chunks Akara, and Yusdrayl and Meepo go to Vyth's rescue while Kisara and Snogla go to Akara's
>It turns out that these things are intelligent and can be reasoned with though, so Vyth trades away the corpse of the rock crab for safe passage
>They accept, and they take the crab and feed it to their young waiting nearby while we advance forward
>Of course, after heals were applied to make sure we're equipped for what may lie ahead
>And that's where the session ended

Quite a fun session, if a bit worrying because Kisara almost died again despite my best efforts... Although it is opening up new avenues of potential RP for her due to Akara being the one to save her ass twice now, but I'm still not entirely sure what direction I'd want to take that (either some form of romance or a possessive dependence, I'm not sure which would be better and/or more fun). Either way though, it seems that this ambitious mage is now at odds with the tribe's head martial for the attention of a kobold that thinks himself a dwarf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
Kisara's Player
166232 166237
>Where we left off, we were just a short distance from the place we needed to be and the session ended with us somewhere near the bar

>Now, we're at the bar and we see a group of adventurers chilling near the door
>Simple enough to avoid, just move quietly and stay hidden
>...Except some of us decided that it would be a good idea to dig through the local trash, and we had to hold back a certain toad-shaped kobold from going and giving us away in the dumbest way possible
>Said stupid decision still manages to alert someone to our presence, but those who are alerted are a pair of kobolds already occupying the trash pile
>These kobolds are scrawny and emaciated but otherwise healthy, contrary to us being stout and strong despite being covered in mud/blood
>We get a dialogue going, and it turns out that these guys are from the tribe in the well and after Vyth shares some of our rations with them, we're allowed to follow them in
>When we get in, there's a severely drained lake at the bottom of this well and a few kobolds on the far shore trying to fish from it
>Also, the only way further in from the well is to go across on a tiny boat that only fits its driver and one passenger
>This is stupid slow, so I start brainstorming faster ways across and settle on making my newest level 2 spell the levitate spell
>Said ingenuity is then punished when, as Kisara tries to cross the lake, she gets grabbed by two chokers that were hiding in the water
>She gets dragged under and nearly dies again through a combat encounter that was mostly just struggling to escape on my end, and Akara comes to her rescue yet again
>While down there, we also get told that the bottom of the lake is littered with bones, many of which look like kobold bones
>This fight ends without Kisara actually dying, which is good
>We then take a hot second to regroup and heal up the two kobolds who entered the water, with Kisara then attempting her journey across the lake again
>It was 35 feet across, one set of two humanoid monsters should be plenty of fight to put in a place like this, especially when it's very easy for said monsters to abuse one of 3.5's most busted mechanics to kill us quickly, right?
>Wrong, round fucking 2!
>Two more grab both Kisara and Akara, and it's up to Vyth to help drag us out of the water with the NPCs providing limited help
>Kisara actually starts making death saves at this point, and I start brainstorming how to make the most overpowered character I can to make sure nothing like this happens again, but luckily this isn't the time for that to happen yet
>The monsters are killed and we swim to the far shore without incurring the wrath of the third (third!) set of these fucking things, and we then start talking with the kobolds there (after everybody's given the bare minimum of healing as Vyth's already out of healing spells, fucking hell)
>Turns out that this lake is their only food source and the chokers in there are the brilliant idea of some trapmaker, someone who undoubtedly isn't nearly as brilliant as everyone seems to think
>We also find another schizo journal with a small detour, this one belonging to this tribe's leader, that does all sorts of shit to sing praise towards aberrations and whatnot
>This must be the tribe of the mad kobold listed in Wivai's journal
>Fun, now we're adopted into some lovecraft-esque plot revolving around a kobold fishing town and their leader gone mad!
>That's not even a sarcastic fun, I'm looking forward to learning more about this all
>Anyway, some other information is gleaned from Akara talking to some dwarven statues nearby (as this place used to be a dwarven reservoir), and learning that the silver skeleton, one of our objectives here, is actually nearby
>Some of the kobolds also tell us that they think it's responsible for the drought and food shortage, but I put forth the idea that the well's use by the inn alongside the kobolds' exploitation may be responsible for the drained water level while the chokers within were responsible for the waning number of fish within the lake
>My idea is swept under the rug though, probably to maintain intrigue for the actual plot the DM has in mind
>After this, the actual session ends with us deciding to go talk to the chieftain here before doing anything else
>However, there's some text-based RP afterwards involving some more information harvesting from the kobolds with us, Yusdrayl being a spoiled brat and begging Vyth to carry her since Akara was forced to carry Snogla after Kisara decided to lean on him for support and the self-appointed princess getting pissy that she wasn't getting attention
>The Kisara-Akara-Snogla subplot evolves into an argument, and said argument results in Kisara being knocked out by Snogla to nobody's surprise or enjoyment

Now, onto my thoughts on the session in general: I'm not happy about the large pile of chokers, one set was enough, the second was excessive and even the potential for a third was entirely unnecessary IMO. Grappling is very strong, and I've already made my thoughts on anything that limits the players' ability to effectively fight back known in a prior post regarding a certain dragon fight, so I won't go back into my ramblings again. That's my only real grievance though, the rest was all fun and cool and I'm looking forward to settling this newfound rivalry between the tribe's best warrior and the tribe's best mage, and I know for a fact that Kisara is absolutely going to find a way to get back at Snogla for this newest wound to her pride. Maybe if a certain persistent ghost is still around somewhere and wasn't just a one-and-done like was implied, that could be helpful? What I'm suggesting is the return of Chucklefuck at some point, he seemed like he would've been a fun NPC to interact with. Anyway, next session is when things unfold further, and I look forward to seeing it! Until then!
Kisara's Player
166233 166237
>Where we last left off, Kisara was out cold and I was plotting my next move to gain a monopoly on Akara while the party in general were moving to talk with Chief Blas of this tribe

>Kisara is reawakened, and we finally make it to the throne room where Blas is located
>Blas is definitely a well-fed kobold, but not to a degree that he's eating the tribe's food supply
>Anyway, the introduction goes smoothly with Kisara and Vyth doing most of the talking while Yusdrayl butts in to inflate her own ego
>Blas seems to be acting a bit weird though, as his eyes tend to unfocus and stare off randomly at times
>We get through the introductions well enough though, we explain why we're there, who we are, where we're from, and all that
>The introductions end a bit suddenly though when we mention something that trips something in his distracted mind, causing him to space out again and then tell us to go talk to Trapmaster Yin
>Finally, time to air out my grievances with this bastard!
>We go off through the dungeon to meet this guy, first going through a door that was supposed to turn us into kobolds!
>Oh no! Anyway...
>We keep moving into the kitchen area where some kobold chefs are making sushi with rotten fish and maggots, and Yusdrayl stops to eat some for some odd reason
>The rest of us move forward though and find a monster in the trash!
>It's dispatched within a round though thanks to a lucky crit, and it retreats back into the trash pile to lick its wounds
>Up next is a door shaped to look like a beholder, and there's a puzzle associated with it
>Something something number of eyes is the key
>Vyth's player and I both come to the conclusion that the answer is the number 11, so Kisara says that out loud
>Nothing happens though, and we're completely stumped
>Vyth then approaches the door to see if we weren't in detection range, but when he gets close he's hit by a beholder eye ray and... something happens
>I don't quite remember, but that makes us all just stay away from the door and, seeing as how we're not playing along, the DM throws us a bone
>Turns out the puzzle requires 11 separate gems to open, and we have just a few gems in total, all functioning as money
>That's not gonna work, and since he also knows that A) we're not going to really bother with looking for them since they're scattered around the area and guarded by more monsters that we've already fought and disliked fighting, and B) Yusdrayl holds on to all sorts of shinies like that for fun, he just handwaves the puzzle
>Just in time too, since if someone had approached the door a second time with a wrong answer they would've been hit with a disintegration beam!
>Which would've killed any of us
>Yeah, glad that got handwaved
>Anyway, we're on to the actual room that Yin's in
>When we get in there, we see a bunch of refuse around and a bunch of papers flitting around in a dust devil
>Also, there's a platform really high up that we assume Yin's on
>Vyth calls up to him to come down since we've been told to talk with him, but we get no answer
>We also notice a ticking sound start up, and upon closer inspection it seems to be coming from some clockwork construct on the other side of the room
>We collectively decide to get the fuck out of dodge at this point, and right before we do so Vyth plants a scrying sensor in the room
>We return to Blas and report that we didn't talk to Yin, but we'll try again after we're allowed a rest
>During that rest, we learn that the mechanical ticking was caused by a clockwork tarrasque
>Said clockwork tarrasque also got in a fight with the dust devil, which turned out to be a sentient spell, but we aren't informed of the winner
>Also, what we assume to be Yin is a veiled kobold-shaped corpse with a silver mindflayer mask
>We then take that rest actually, and when we're properly refreshed, we go back to take care of things
>We head back to Yin's room and decide to grapple our way up to the platform, but the dust devil comes back changed
>Turns out the two didn't actually fight so much as fuse, and now the sentient spell can attack like the clockwork tarrasque
>So now we've got a biting tornado that can't be hurt by anything nonmagical
>Looks like Snogla's sitting out this fight
>The rest of us pull our weight fighting this thing though, and it's a decently hard fight
>We do manage to kill it though, and after that we're free to get to Yin
>He doesn't react at all when we get up there, so we detect magic and when that does nothing, call out to him
>That does nothing either, so Vyth pokes him with the butt of his spear to see if he reacts
>He doesn't, so we decide it's safe to approach him
>Turns out it wasn't, and this guy immediately reanimates and fear-auras us
>All of us but Akara is feared, and he's left to face an actual fucking mummy alone
>He doesn't fare well at all, but we're able to save him from dying by groveling hard enough to get Yin to only throw us off the platform instead of kill us all
>We then scurry back to Blas, just to tell him that Yin told us to fuck off
>He doesn't really react to this, but we do have one thing left for us to do here so we take another rest and get back some of our resources
>Now that that's over, we go off to find the silver skeleton!
>Some kobolds lead us back to the area where it's located and open the door for us, but when we're all inside it then closes on us
>Those bastards intend to sacrifice us!
>Greater men have tried to kill us and failed, we're not dying in some backwater hole today!
>The room then starts to flood with water, so Kisara and Akara start trying to break open the door, but Vyth and the others start moving forward so I'm outvoted
>We then move forward until we find a secret door which leads us to the trap's mechanism, which is defused to stop the water from rising further
>That's good at least, but now we have a hallway full of mindflayer pictures to walk through
>It's also trapped to shit though, so that's an issue
Kisara's Player
166237 166238 166341

>We do what we can to defuse the traps, but a few of them are set off and cause immobility and/or paralysis for those who are hit by them
>A pair of oozes also choose now to show up and start trying to kill us, so that's cool?
>Oh well, the oozes are definitely challenging but don't manage to kill any of us before we finish dealing with them
>We then are left alone with the silver skeleton, which starts to regenerate for some reason
>Yeah, fuck that
>Kisara grabs Akara and drags him back to the door to start getting it open again, but we stop when we hear some civilized discussion coming from where Vyth is with everyone else to go investigate
>Turns out the skeleton regenerated into Eludecia, another one of those WotC-sanctioned waifu characters that the writers try to get you hot and bothered over
>Anyway, she's a risen devil of a succubus turned paladin and was trapped in here by her last boss who had her imprisoned with those two oozes to keep her dissolved down to a skeleton but never fully kill her
>She's also very surprised that her rescue party happened to be a group of kobolds, but she's not disappointed about it
>And the session ends there!

Another fun one, though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for. Anyway, our plan for the next session is to take Eludecia back to the tavern nearby so that we can sweeten our end of the deal for negotiations regarding the kobolds' food situation, and we also plan on getting her help with killing Yin and freeing the tribe from his abhorrent influence. Whether or not that'll happen is another question entirely, but I do hope that she realizes we're trying to do the right thing and looks past our species' negative stereotypes to help us with this problem. Either way though, we'll only find out next session, so I'll see you there!
Thank you for sharing!
>sushi with rotten fish and maggots
Every Japanese kobold out there will want to Pearl Harbor you now
>clockwork tarrasque
The DnD equivalent of Metal Gear to the uninitiated
>though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for
Gelatinous Cubes are just normally immune to electricity.
Kisara's Player
I called them gelatinous cubes by accident, I was corrected into calling them oozes. They also dealt vile damage to us, so it was literally oozes with the demon template applied. I don't know what else to say.
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Highlights from some previous sessions
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just revived a paladin succubus named Eludecia and we were going out to hand her over to the inn nearby

>So, our first order of business for the session was using Eludecia as a bargaining chip to improve the standings of the kobold tribe we met here
>Eludecia polymorphs into a kobold herself to better blend in as we head to the surface
>We climb back out of the well shortly after, getting no trouble from the chokers this time
>When we get there, we hear some adventurers shouting about how the kobolds are back and that they're going to shoo us off or something
>Little do they know, we're too stupid to be shooed!
>Also we have a purpose here, but whatever
>Anyway, the adventurers show up and they're mad at us for whatever reason, but Eludecia drops the polymorph and their tune very quickly changes
>They then escort us inside, simultaneously ecstatic that Eludecia's back and flabbergasted that it was kobolds that did it
>Either way though, we're welcomed back to a hero's welcome and the entire inn is brought into a celebratory mood as adventurers line up to get her autograph and whatnot
>Meanwhile, we ask around about a few things and learn nothing too interesting before we get back to the innkeeper
>He's not too happy to have to negotiate with us about giving the kobolds food instead of beer, but we're insistent
>We do come to a deal though, with us having to go get back a pair of gauntlets for Eludecia that let her safely wield holy weapons, but to do so we need to get past Yin the mummy
>That's probably gonna kill us, so we're putting it on the back burner for now (or until we get a way to deal with Yin, which seems to be not too easy)
>We decide that it would probably be a good idea to hire one of the adventurers, specifically a cleric or paladin, to help us out, but we have no real funds to work with, sadly...
>But hey, that cloaked stranger is calling us over again!
>10,000 GP to bring back the gloves? Why, that's enough to cover the mercenary's pay and also get a pretty penny of our own!
>But this seems a bit fishy still, so we decide to question the figure on her relation to Eludecia
>The figure says she's a friend of her boyfriend, but that's still kinda sketchy since she tried to pass off a goosefeather as an angel feather when Vyth is wearing three of those alone on his helmet...
>Yeah, this is definitely suspicious, so we call over Eludecia from her mountain of simps to validate this stranger's claims
>This turns out to not have been a good idea though, as the two immediately recognize each other and the cloak comes off, revealing an enormous 6-armed lamia demon!
>The entire inn goes from business as usual to a barfight turned Armageddon as the demon summons a few piles of other demons while all the adventurers collectively roll initiative, and we're left in a situation where we're heavily outnumbered and outgunned
>So, we do what any sensible kobold would do, and get the fuck out of there!
>A few demons pursue us out, but we kill them easy enough and run all the way back to the well
>We get in and manage to pay off the chokers since we're in a hurry, and as thanks(?) they tear apart the first demon to fall into the well behind us while we run back to the tribe here
>We need to evacuate this place, Ragnarok is happening above us and even the damn mountain we're inside is shaking!
>We make it back to the tribe's living area and head inside, but the instant we do we're caught in another fear aura
>Yin's here
>Yin's here and he's got every kobold in the tribe either groveling in fear in front of him or mind-controlled to take up arms against any who aren't
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK
>We're now being surrounded by Yin's mind-controlled servants, and he wants us to stay here and wait for someone outside the area
>He's waiting for the snake bitch, isn't he?
>Well, we know that if she gets here we're dead for selling her out, but we also can't fight our way back out through the entire tribe of kobolds plus whatever nasties Yin has left for us
>Our only way out is to somehow bullshit him into letting us go
>We attempt to bribe Yin with the prospects of us all going back to the tribe we're from to bring them here too, and Kisara and Yusdrayl both get down in the most grovel-y position they can think of, and I pop my Io medallion to get an extra +4 to my already high bluff of +17 to get +21
>Even with this, the DM informs me that there's only a 5% chance that he'll actually let all of us go to do this instead of keeping one of us for collateral
>Oh well, it's do or die time!
>Specifically die time, as it's time to roll the die and see what happens
>Natural twenty for a grand total of 41 on the bluff check
>I, the person typing this, actually screamed when I saw the result
>Kisara, however, was as silent as possible when she grabbed everyone and started pushing them back out of the room as soon as Yin said "yeah, sure, I don't really care about you all anyway, just go."
>Now, all that's left to do is decide where the hell we want to leave from since this tribe's obviously beyond our help
>In fact, they may have been better off had we not actually bothered with them...
>That's not our problem anymore though, our problem is surviving this shitstorm long enough to get back to the Neo Spawncampers and leave for good
>And we decide to do so by heading through the dwarven temple nearby!

Next session, we explore the monastery and temple for a way out, and if we find it, go back to our tribe the long way to make sure there aren't any more demons on our asses! I hope we aren't as fucked as my gut says, because if we are then that'll be one hell of a shitty way to go out! Anyway, see you all on Sunday for the next installment of Kaverns and Kobolds!
>Where we last left off, we were fleeing from Yin and a very large tavern brawl in the direction of an abandoned monastery

>This time, we start off on that journey upstream after sorting out some miscommunications about where we were going and what we were doing
>Said sorting out takes us a while, but once we get going we start feeling a bit safer
>Well, until Yusdrayl decides to alter-form herself and go off ahead to scout for us, upon which we waited with bated breath for around an in-game hour until she returns some time around there
>Turns out there's a drier spot ahead that we can traverse easier without needing to levitate or use a boat, but there's shit over there that could be trouble
>However, it's around this time that we collectively realize that all the noise outside has calmed down significantly
>So, we now drag the fatigued Yusdrayl back to shore and start doing other shit while Vyth goes up the ladder under invis to see what's left
>Turns out not much
>The inn's been pretty much destroyed from all the spells going off inside it, the majority of the adventurers are dead, and both Eludecia and the horde of demons are nowhere to be found
>A little ominous, perhaps we could get more info later?
>Anyway, Vyth finishes his reconnaissance and comes back down the well, and the first thing he sees is a choker drag Snogla underwater!
>Before we go further though, I'm going to rewind back to before the party split
>Down back in the dungeon, the remaining party decides to kill time by doing miscellaneous shit
>Yusdrayl decides to complain as she always does, Akara stands around and keeps watch in case anything goes down (or just stands there and zones, I certainly wouldn't blame him for doing so), Snogla goes around and loots whatever she can from the various traps and implements in the reservoir, and Kisara looks for something useful to do
>I initially wanted to go up with Vyth, but one kobold is a lot harder to find than two, so she's stuck down in the hole with everyone else
>I look around for something to do, and with no other suggestions, Kisara gets a taunt from Snogla to disarm an aboleth trap
>I decide to try to turn her taunting around, since she's closer to the trap than Kisara, and she goes to a fairly large distance away before picking up a large rock and using Launch Item to throw it at the trap to either break the mechanism or trigger it "safely"
>This, however, doesn't work and Kisara is hit with a spell that, with metagaming knowledge, works like aboleth slime albeit much slower
>Kisara then starts to feel cold and clammy and gross, so she then gets in the water while Snogla starts to laugh at her for this completely unforeseen eventuality
>I'm not even sure why it targeted me, I was supposed to be a ways off with Snogla somewhere in between me and the device, but I guess that got lost in translation somewhere...
>Oh well, my pettiness knows no limits!
>While the stuck-up bitch is laughing, Kisara beckons over one of the chokers from the bottom of the lake and covertly tells it to drag Snogla underwater
>To sweeten the deal, I also cross Kisara's favorite pimp chalice off my item list as a bribe
>This had better work the way I want it to...
>The choker then does as I asked, but since Snogla was paying enough attention to continue laughing at Kisara, the choker doesn't get a surprise round to drag her under
>It still goes first though, and it does exactly as I asked
>Unfortunately, this is also when Vyth came back, and he leads the charge into the water to save her, followed by Akara and Yusdrayl after everybody rolls initiative
>Kisara spends the first round doing her own thing and sitting on the sidelines, but thaat changes as soon as Akara gets grappled and starts to get close to death himself
>Vyth also gets into some decent trouble, but Yusdrayl is good at helping him out
>The chokers are driven back though, and everyone is freed
>Akara gets up to the surface to breathe, Vyth is released, and everyone but Snogla is out of the fight
>Vyth doesn't accept that as good enough though, and dives back down to help her
>This gets him grabbed by another choker though, so the fight's back on!
>Akara also goes back down again, and he gets grabbed too
>Well, fuck
>It gets back around to my turn, and at this point I, the person, was trying to bargain with the DM to let me press the "fuck go back" button
>However, he does cut me a deal and lets me cast magic missile with absolute certainty that it would deal with the chokers currently fucking with us still, and that everyone in combat would drift to shore in exchange for an action point
>I take this deal, and everyone drifts back up to the beach unconscious, but just barely alive
>I'm also left pretty much to my own devices here, since Yusdrayl went from fatigued to exhausted and literally cannot stop me from doing what I want for this moment
>Kisara contemplates finishing the murder she started to get her money's worth from this encounter, and I even ask whether or not Yusdrayl's in any condition to be bargained with to potentially buy her silence
>Unfortunately though, I only have one turn before everyone has to start making fortitude saves, I'm forced to borrow Akara's healing belt and bring back Vyth so he can help me un-fuck all that has been fucked
>He immediately gets up and starts burning his hidden reserve of healing spells to fix everybody (unfortunately for my master plans), and a collective decision is made that the chokers need to go
>I end up jumping the gun on this somewhat though, almost casting scintillating sphere on the water that we're still pretty much touching and are still very wet from and only get stopped after I am informed that we aren't actually completely out of the water yet
>So then we move downstream a safe distance, and I fire off two spheres and kill basically everything in the pond without us having to get into any danger from any of these assholes

>We then wade back to the well entrance, deciding it's finally time to bid this hole and every godforsaken creature in it good riddance
>Except one choker of the eight managed to survive on one HP and it leaps out of the water to try to revenge kill the mage who just slaughtered the rest of its misbegotten kind
>Said mage happens to be me...
>We got into this hole with Kisara almost dying to a choker, time to leave this hole either dead or almost dead!
>It drags her underwater and goes for blood, immediately getting rid of half my health in that surprise round plus the round that it got at the top of initiative
>Next up is Snogla, who decides to not get in and kill the barely still living choker for some reason
>Understandable all things considered, but still not cool
>Luckily, she's still saddled with doing something to be useful as she's forced to keep the still immobile Yusdrayl from drowning while Vyth and Akara go down to deal with the problem
>I also try to help deal with the problem first so all they have to do is pull me out of the water, but unfortunately I'm not able to secure the kill despite my best efforts and wasted action points
>The monster is killed though after reducing me to below 0HP and forcing multiple fortitude saves from me and also trying to choke out Vyth, but he grabs the killing blow through all that and he makes it back up to the surface with Akara once again rescuing our little white and blue psychopath
>And now, with that over, the new priority is getting some help to reverse the aboleth slime effect so Kisara doesn't get stuck with its debilitating side effects for the rest of her life
>Luckily, of the remaining adventurers that survived, one was a winged unicorn paladin (read: DnD-sanctioned Celestia) dishing out whatever healing she could to everyone still alive, and she was able to spare a charge of remove disease to save a kobold from a horrible life and maybe even death
>From there, I found the owner of the inn and gave him my 1000gp diamond which I had planned to bribe Yusdrayl with earlier to put towards rebuilding, but turns out he was planning to leave the area anyway
>Understandable, witnessing a holy war happen within one's place of employment is a few levels over next-level fucked up
>Oh well, it's still something to make up for whatever part we may have played in the damages caused
>After that, we basically set up camp for the night and end the session there!

Another fun session! Well, in between the choker shenanigans and failed pranks turned unsuccessful attempts at murder, at least. I'm not sure what direction the rivalry between Kisara and Snogla will go in now, but I know that murder's probably not off the table now, so I should probably find a way to act before the dice decide that Kisara's no longer fit for this world... However, there's time between then and now, so I'll use this week's holiday hiatus to plan my next course of action! See you all in two weeks!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
Yeh, we're still playing. We just haven't in a while because holidays.
The westmarches project has been delayed due to life issues, but the more people we get actually working on it, the faster it will manifest.
New link:
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we were camped out next to the smoldering wreckage of the inn

>In between sessions, RP happened that resulted in the area being attacked by ogres and Kisara was kind of the cause, so we had enough advance warning to cheese it back to the tribe
>When we get back, we find that they actually had held position for us and we gladly re-integrate ourselves while telling Ukri that the entire tribe we just came from is a no-go-zone until further notice
>He accepts this, and the tribe gets moving again while the distant sounds of battle echo across the forrested hills and we progress forwards towards the great geode
>Along the way, we make it a decent distance when we find a large pile of gnomish footprints
>The rest of the tribe holds position while we lead an advance party out to ambush these fuckers further up the road, and we set up a very large pit trap to catch them offguard
>The trap is constructed and we lay in wait on both sides of the road, hoping to catch these bastards unaware
>Soon enough, the gnomes trundle on by as we expected and a bunch of them fall into the pit trap, upon which we push a big fucking rock we found in on top of them!
>That's a bunch more gnomes added to the killcount!
>Now, the rest of them start to organize an actual fighting force to try to repel our surprise attack while we pick them off rapidly
>Kisara in particular fries 16 of the squishier ones with a single lightning bolt, but they weren't actual warriors so it wasn't that helpful in the grand scheme
>It did hit three actual soldiers though, so that was cool!
>Also, one of the gnomes is a cleric and he summons a gold-eating 8-legged badger to start defending the rest of the gnomes and terrorizing our weasel riders
>it proves to be incredibly stubborn, but it doesn't really threaten us
>No, what threatens us is the lieutenant scout that impales Kisara with an arrow before charging into melee with Vyth
>She puts up a fight, but eventually her and the rest of the fighting gnomes are downed
>...Except the cleric, who has vanished
>All of the gnomes in a radius suddenly get up and start trying to flee though, so we know the cleric's somewhere
>I try to nail down exactly where through a scintillating sphere, but turns out he's got a spell up that prevents people from targeting him with attacks
>Dang, that's real soft
>So Kisara calls him a pussy and demands that he show himself, upon which the dumbass yells out a stupid but useful "fuck you" and tells us exactly where he is
>He then just decides to double down and throw an attack at Vyth since he's already blown his cover, and then gets on the gold badger and fucks off with the rest of the escaped gnomes
>However, before one can escape, Vyth hold-persons him and we take him prisoner!
>All the corpses are looted and investigated, and it turns out that a bunch of them were actually wax golems
>Damn, that means that we only killed about half the gnomes we thought we did
>Oh well
>We drag the gnome back to the tribe and start torturing him, and we eventually get a lot out of him
>They were heading to the great geode themselves, hoping to drive out a population of gnolls and set up a mining outpost there, which is what the golems were for
>He was also nice enough to point out the location of where the escapees would retreat to, so we have the locations of a few nearby cities on the map and a newly added gnomish city as well!
>As a reward for being so helpful, he's sacrificed in the name of Kurtulmak since it was that time of the month
>And that's where the session ended

Another fun one, if a bit short. Next session we should be close to the Great Geode so we can take it over with our superior numbers and superior draconic blood, but in the event that there's more along the road to see, then I'll bring news of that as well! Also, the session may be postponed for Little Trouble in Big Absalom, a PF2e oneshot designed around a bunch of level 1 kobolds having fun in the city if anyone wants to join. Either you can make a character yourself, or you can use one of the premade characters to live out the same kinds of wacky shenanigans we get up to here, just hit up the invite link in >>166423 !
Kisara's Player
166737 166766
>Where we left off, we had just sacrificed a gnome that we captured and prepared to enter the gnolls' territory to purge them from it

>Now, we gather our party of Akara, Meepo, Zags, Vyth and Kisara to go out into the territory and scout it out
>We grab some weasels and head down the road, eventually stopping when we hear a bunch of yipping in draconic
>Said yipping is what appears to be a bunch of kobolds calling for help, but it's obvious that this is a trap
>However, we're not going to get rid of all the gnolls without springing this trap, so we get ready and move in
>Turns out all the kobolds were actually reanimated corpses and the actual calling was coming from a bunch of gnolls with weird mounts that look like night stalkers from Fallout New Vegas, which then charge down the cliff this was all happening near to start a fight with us
>We fight as hard as we can, but there were too many enemies that were probably too much for us to handle even with perfect rolls, so we get forcible bad-ended
>We're then thrown into the gnolls' encampment within the geode, where we're then summarily whipped by another asshole capable of dealing negative levels
>J o y
>We're whipped back down to level 1 equivalent, and sent to work in the mines with some other kobolds who were from the OG Spawncampers
>Turns out they've been broken pretty hard from this, and even those who were previously some of the best soldiers the tribe had to offer are little more than level 1 fodder
>It's at this point that I've mentally given up
>Anyway, the session ends shortly after or something, I spent my time in the rest of the session debating whether or not I wanted to continue playing

This was definitely one of the DnD sessions of all time. After the session, we were informed OOC that the save would be easy to beat as we would only have to roll above an 8, however with the negative levels applied, I have a fortitude modifier of -1. I have as much chance to make the save as I do to fail it, and I have to do this 5 times in a row. I'm absolutely losing at least one level from this, and given how I haven't yet recovered from my last lost level 7 MONTHS AGO despite supposedly getting more XP than everyone else for being a lower level, so I know for a fact that I'm not going to be able to recover from this in a meaningful way. In other news, Vyth's player was brainstorming some potential ways to get us out of this, but I didn't really add much since I had other thoughts on my mind. Anyway, next session's tomorrow, so we'll see what happens...
this made my balls hurt
>Where we left off 3 weeks ago, we were up shit creek with a paddle nowhere in sight with Vyth's player trying to find a way out while I contemplated finding something else to do with my sundays

>So we're still stuck in the gnolls' prison where we're forced to labor in a mine
>Nothing really happens for the first hour-ish of the session that I remember, but eventually we're given the opportunity to mess with the dragon that the gnolls have
>I volunteer to help entertain it, and in the process start putting a seed in its mind to betray its current master for a better deal while Vyth pays attention to a gnoll fucking around with his pit of holding that has all of his stuff in it
>From here, the session meanders through RP through most of it with the one notable thing being that despite taking a -5 to everything, Kisara still has a mindbending +12 to her bluff that lets us navigate these social encounters well enough
>We're eventually shoved back into gay baby jail by the gnolls though, where we're left to our own devices and Vyth gets ready to execute his own plan
>Before that though, some gnolls leave the cave and get into a scuffle outside
>After some more buildup, we find that the party advancing on the gnolls is Yusdrayl and a rescue party!
>Good, we have a way out, now we just need to know if at least Vyth keeps all of his levels
>After some negotiations, the DM lets us roll our saves early, and after some action point usage and reroll spending we both manage to make them all!

And that's where things ended for that session, we're going into the next one right now so I'll get back to you on that one in a hit minute, but so far my urge to commit disconnect have been pushed back into submission. Let's hope that doesn't change this session!
>Where we last left off, Yusdrayl just arrived with the cavalry to break us out!

>A fight breaks out, with a mob of kobolds swamping the gnolls guarding the room
>Kisara throws her mushroom and it starts growing rapidly before she casts mage armor on herself, Vyth crafts a makeshift holy symbol out of a rock, some cloth, and his own blood, and Akara snaps his manacles immediately
>The gnolls finally organize and start pushing back, but Yusdrayl stuns them again and, after gettign Akara's help to break the manacles, Kisara throws a lightning ball into the back of the gnolls for big money, Vyth summons an ogre zombie, and my mushroom finishes growing into a huge beef monster and begins inflicting looney tunes levels of ultraviolence upon any gnolls in its vicinity
>And this is how it goes, the kobolds and gnolls crash into each other while Kisara hammers them from behind with big DPS, Vyth directs his ogre to harrass valuable targets, and the mushroom and akara hammer anything close to them for big damage
>This gets interrupted when a bunch of gnolls decide they want to kill us, so Kisara shoots off a lightning bolt while the kobolds in gay baby jail distract it for a hot second
>The fight then evolves into the gnolls chasing the kobolds aorund the room, with Kisara firing off her last level 3 spell into the crowd of gnolls to bring them down to the size of the kobold mob, while the mushroom forms a one-myconid mosh pit in the pool in the middle of the room with anything stupid enough to get close to it
>The gnolls decide that enough is enough though, and group up on the far side of the room in preparation for a charge which gives us one turn to do something
>I ask what happens when you get to a second point of exhaustion, and it turns out that in Kisara's case, she gets immobilized from going to 0 strength
>Duly noted, good thing Akara's here with the strength necessary to carry a kobold!
>So Kisara digs deep, braces herself against Akara both physically and mentally, and fires off one final sphere into the pool as the gnolls push forward
>The entire charge is neutralized as all but the strongest gnolls are instantly killed, with the remaining gnolls fleeing the scene shortly after
>We celebrate and Kisara slumps over, Akara catching her as he was instructed to do, and the kobolds start to celebrate
>However, the celebration is short lived as the pool of ash and gore begins to clear as all the detritus clumps together and re-amalgamates into something that we learn is a half-troll, half golem monster!
>And that's the cliffhanger we're left on

Back to some action for this session, and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel finally! We were also given enough XP to level up for this upcoming superboss, which will give us some notable buffs where we need them, and even some new spells to play around with and see the effects of in action! Anyway, I'll see you all then!
Kisara's Player
Just realized I've been posting "anonymously" again, whoops! Anyway...
>Where we last left off, all the gnoll corpses that we had just finished pulverizing alongside some trolls that were unlucky enough to get caught in a spell get amalgamated together into one half-crystal troll and half-glass golem that appears partially demonic

>So everyone starts freaking out except Vyth and Kisara, who have players who are instead rolling every dice they can think of to learn as much about this thing as we can
>We learn a lot, but the one thing we learn that's the most important is that A: it counts as having armor from all the armor chunks that got amalgamated into it, and B: it's only damaged by sonic damage
>Good to know, who here can deal sonic damage?
>Just me then, hoo boy...
>So yeah, everyone else is relegated to support as Kisara, with all of her returned spell slots and no longer being exhausted, is forced to hard-carry the fight
>Well, now that all of the planning's out of the way, the troll begins marching its way towards the gnolls' nursery section
>Wait what?
>Because it opens its meatgrinder of a mouth and eats the last remaining gnoll who was protecting the pups before starting to eat the pups
>It also starts growing with each thing it consumes, so Kisara scintillating spheres the remaining gnolls to make this thing stop absorbing their power
>Unfortunately, this makes it turn towards us and it's pissed
>And some gnomes are here too, it's more of those urdlen fuckers
>Vyth directs his ogre zombie to obliterate one of the gnomes, but the others still manage to get away with buffing the giga troll
>By now it's damn near the size of a house and is coming at us with malicious intent, but luckily Saitama the mushroom comes over and starts dueling this thing in melee, grappling it to stop it from actually doing anything and beating it as hard as his fungus bulk will let him
>This helps us greatly, but one of the gnomes then throws down darkness, meaning we have to retreat back to see anywhere
>Since Kisara's stunned from the effect of Born of Three Thunders at this time, Akara drags her out of the area and back to a more defensible position
>The next turn rolls around and we still hear Saitama and the troll duking it out, but we no longer hear the shitting and giggling of the gnomes, so that's good
>Anyway, I have a level 4 spell that I want to use to help stun this big fucker, so I launch off another 3-thunders spell, this time a full-blown electric orb that'll keep him entangled for a turn
>The DM makes me roll a d100 to see if I hit through the darkness, if it's <50 I hit
>It's a 1
>He counts that as a crit, so my subsequent nat 1 (modified 10) on my roll to hit is ignored and my 35 damage is doubled to 70 as blue lightning gives us a flash of the troll's silhouette being beat on by Saitama's silhouette
>Very cool, and meanwhile Vyth has now picked up Yusdrayl so she dispels the darkness for us!
>Right on time for the troll to push out into the main room again, but Akara carries Kisara back again and Saitama manages to reign in the troll again in the pond in the middle
>Saitama then forces the troll's head underwater, upon which the DM tells us that it's possible to drown a troll after some prompting
>A nice backup plan now that we know only Kisara can actually hurt this thing
>Vyth also takes this opportunity to conk it with a rock which helps Saitama keep it pinned, iirc
>Kisara hits it again, Saitama keeps it pinned in the water, and Vyth grows stalagmites around it to lock it into a cage, but the troll can bite through the stone easily so it's still very dangerous
>Akara, the little badass he is though, ignores this and manages to duck and weave around the troll enough to enter the thunderdome himself
>I should also mention by now that we learned that this thing has an effective self-destruct button we can push as we can activate its death throes ability early, this comes in handy in a minute
>This next turn is more of the same as Kisara recovers from another 3 Thunders daze, with Saitama and Akara terrorizing the troll as it tries to bite through its prison
>And now, the fateful moment!
>I call for a clearing of the area and fire off another three thunders spell, and roll a touch attack according to the DM's instructions
>With bated breath, the DM describes something in the troll's head as emitting a click before it begins shrieking, the pitch growing until it explodes and sending shrapnel everywhere
>Encounter over, boss defeated!
>We get an absolute assload of XP from this, so much that I'm only 15 away from leveling up!
>After some convincing, the DM says that something else will happen this session to get that last little bit
>We get healed somewhat, and the exploded bits of the troll regenerate enough to run away, but it shouldn't be a problem for us as they pay us no mind despite them running right past a few kobolds, and Kisara goes to start exploring some of our new home!
>Remember that gnome killed by the ogre earlier?
>Yeah, turns out he was only playing dead and immediately gets up in a surprise round, stabbing Kisara from behind and taking a charge of Scintillating Sphere from her
>This gnome is very quickly dealt with though, and I get 20 XP despite being KOd for the entire fight lmao

There was some in-text RP today where Kisara and Vyth got in an argument and Kurtulmak (the DM) told Kisara to stop talking trash when she's at 0 HP and go rest instead through an errant magpie, but beyond that nothing much happened. The next session's on sunday as usual, so I'll see you all then and we'll get to see how the gnoll warband reacts to having their home swiped right out from under them by kobolds! Also, will the howling dragon become our draconic patron, or will it continue to serve the gnolls? Find out in two days!
Kisara's Player
Oh boy, some shit happened this session! Lemme fill you all in, because some major changes both in-game and out of it have happened!
>Where we last left off, we had finished up clearing the Great Geode of its gnoll presence and also beating the half-troll/half-golem that showed up as a superboss, so this session was really just cooldown

>Which is where we get to the first major change, a new PC by the name of Keppa arrives on the scene from Humanville, an escapee of the Silver Empire who happened to notice the large pile of kobolds moving into the Great Geode and decided to blend in for interest's sake!
>The first part of the session is thusly spent with light RP in getting Keppa's player acquainted with the tribe and doing some more light exploration of the area, including finding a scroll of disintegration among the queen gnoll's belongings
>Around this time is when the gnolls come back from their raid, and they're a bit surprised to find the entrance to the geode closed off and now filled with kobolds
>However, they seem to not really care
>The howling dragon, however, does
>It screams the cave open enough to climb inside before plopping down in the water, all the while everyone's freaking out except for those of us who have dealt with this dragon before
>We try to talk it down from doing anything bad, and it agrees and is content to just take one last bath here before leaving again, but only if it gets to keep 27 kobolds
>That's around a 1 in 5 chance for it to take one of the PCs or one of the important NPCs, so we're not letting that happen
>Keppa's player brings up the idea of fighting the dragon, but it's quickly vetoed because most of us are on single-digit HP, but we do decide that it's a good idea to try to get rid of the dragon at the very least
>How we plan to do so is through one of Vyth's spells, pretty sure it was called dismiss or something
>Anyway, we need to stall this thing for 15 minutes so he can actually prepare it, so Kisara does her best to at first talk down the dragon's desired number of kobolds to hopefully 0, which only partially works
>The dragon's talked down, but only to 11
>That's better, but still not good
>1 in 15's better than 1 in 5, but it's still far from optimal
>Also, it's worth noting that Kisara of course takes this opportunity to try to get rid of her biggest rival right now, which almost worked
>Unfortunately, while the dragon was convinced to take Snogla, she managed to substitute another unfortunate kobold for herself before the dragon was able to take her
>She lives another day... Guess I'll just have to do it myself!
>But anyway, the dragon's not being stalled forever since the gnolls it's beholden to are getting impatient, so the DM rolls a few dice at random and another 10 kobolds are taken by the dragon and carried off into oblivion
>Vyth and Kisara both breathe sighs of relief, but Keppa's not entirely satisfied with this end for the first session, so she takes it upon herself to make things more interesting by going outside and introducing herself to the gnolls
>She passes the charisma check to not get outright killed, and after some DM autopiloting manages to make it back to the cave safely
>This nets her a massive pile of XP for singlehandedly surviving an encounter meant for 8th level characters at least, meaning she's no longer level 3!
>Congratulations, we look forward to the next session where we may even get another new PC!
>And that's where things end for now, with the tribe's safety and future secured for the time being and no new world-ending events on the horizon (that we know of), so we're free to do whatever we want next!

Said next thing is likely going to be getting the growing tree out of the Enveloping Pit though, as it's started spitting out ethereal monsters and seems to be quite mad at being locked in gay baby jail for a long-ass time. Either we can negotiate with the tree like last time, or we try to kill it again. Either way, the next session's sure to have plenty of action for the newcomers and a continuation of a previous storyline for the veterans of this game. I'll see you all then and there though, Sunday morning at 11AM-12PM EST or 8AM-9AM PST!
Kisara's Player
Well, some of the changes have been reverted. Keppa's player dipped at the end of this session since the game wasn't exactly his style (seemed to be something to do with the two other players being serious and wanting to know the lore behind things instead of combat and memes), so it's back down to Vyth's player and myself. Anyway...
>Where we last left off, Keppa had just managed to escape getting captured by gnolls and the howling dragon had only taken 11 kobolds, none of whom were terribly important

>Next on our order of business, fixing the problem with the enveloping pit having an angry wooden thing and apparently many undead within it as well
>We head outside a decent distance away after a long rest to replenish our HP and spells, far enough so that whatever's in here hopefully doesn't affect the geode but close enough so that we can have a short walk home afterwards
>We bring Akara and some orderlies with us, Akara for being the party's tank and the orderlies for being potential meatshields for the things that come out
>Except the only thing that comes out at first is an immense explosion!
>The cover saves us though, and instead of being evaporated by a magic nuke we only take fall damage
>However, the surrounding landscape almost out to the now invisible horizon is now covered in dense forest
>And, according to the DM, it's spreading still
>And the first wave of enemies is coming for us
>After about a round of prep, a bunch of pixie zombies swarm us and... bite us for one damage each?
>Lol, lmao
>Vyth immediately turns them all and orders them to hold off the third wave, more of those pixie zombies coming out of the open pit
>But what about the second wave, you ask?
>Good question! Anyway, a pissed off blighted treant comes stomping at us and awakens two of the other newly-grown trees!
>The real fun begins as we now try to fend off the treants, with Kisara throwing fire, Vyth commanding his zombies, and Keppa doing her thing as a swordsage while Akara faces off against a treant one-on-one and gets...
>Crit, and for very big damage
>Oh no
>Kisara attacks that treant out of rage on the next turn, burning it to a crisp, and luckily Vyth casted lesser vigor a while back to make sure the pixie bites didn't bother us, so he's not going to die after making his fortitude save easily
>The real problem is that there are still two treants and the forest is still growing rapidly
>The two of them have now placed themselves on either side of Kisara, so with some DM assistance I put a big-brain play into effect by blasting them both with a scintillating sphere and dealing some good damage, killing the second!
>(note, these events are probably out of order to an extent)
>But anyway, at some point we also notice some rattling and clacking coming from the pit and a very brightly glowing green object raising out of the pit
>We deal with the last treant somehow, and its body collapses backwards into the pit and crushes a very large amount of skellies to death, and they would've been wave 4
>Oh well, now we just have the primary problem
>The big glowing thing that we can now see was the root-rock thingy once
>Anyway, it gives Vyth the mental command to cut it out (as in cutting something out of the wood, not refraining from killing its minions) and he complies while Kisara tries to pull Akara from the foliage and Keppa stands around being unhelpful
>When all's said and done though, Vyth gets a big oblong green thing out of it!
>We bring it back to the geode and inspect it, trying to figure out what it is for a while before deciding that it's probably an egg and setting it up in a nest before going for another rest
>In the middle of said rest though, the egg begins to hatch and out comes a baby green dragon!
>Vyth and Kisara spend some time questioning it and learning about its kind and itself while Keppa mocks it, helping Kisara learn some of its emotional weakpoints for the future if it decides to get uppity with her
>Valuable information indeed, lest this thing fall to the same fate as the last dragon Kisara met
>Never mind that that last dragon was killed by someone else, she was still ready and willing to kill it!
>But anyway, that's where the session ends and it seems that we're all free to play the next one tomorrow! Today? Easter.

Anyway, see you all in a few hours when the Kool Kobold Koalition goes off on our next mission, whatever that may be!
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we hatched a weird green thing that turned out to be a green dragon's egg, and now we have a little green monster to look after in the tribe

>This time, we spend some time fortifying this geode and also end up learning that it's the enormous calcified skeleton of an amethyst dragon, and we're only inside its mouth right now!
>We decide to expand the base to encompass more of its body, but our first chosen stop would've been its head and, as it's a psionic creature, it's still probably immensely powerful even dead
>Yeah, not the best idea then
>So instead, we decide to go about doing something for the green wyrmling as it's getting shouty again
>It wants a sheep, and Kisara's the only one who knows what a sheep is, so her, Vyth, Zags (iirc) as an animal handler, and Akara as the usual meatshield venture out to a nearby halfling village to find one
>The trip through the new forest around us is difficult though, so we don't make it out on the first day of travel and have to stop and make camp
>However, while we're doing that we're interrupted by a briarvex and a shambling mound!
>Kisara is the one who takes the hit during the surprise round, getting immediately chunked for big damage before the fight starts in earnest
>Things quickly go our way though, and we're able to fend them off without any casualties
>From there, we take a rest and make it the rest of the way to the village without issues
>In order to infiltrate, Vyth disguises himself as a gnome and Kisara pulls Zags and Akara together to form a new Ultimate Lifeform, Kizagra!
>Kizagra the "human" and Vyth the "gnome" then proceed into the halfling village, playing the part of merchants looking to buy sheep to fix a deal gone wrong
>After a stop at a local pub, we head over to one of the nearby pastures where we find some more locals and negotiate with them for not one, but two sheep!
>From there, we head back home after making an important note of a certain circle of monoliths that looks suspicious nearby and warrants further investigation later
>Along the way the sheep are annoying to manage and we have to make a few animal handling rolls to make sure that they don't get caught out or get us found by the powerful monsters or wandering mages coming to the area after the magic surge that happened, but we make it back fine
>Before they're handed over to the dragon though, Kisara decides to test if she actually knows what a sheep is
>The dragon guesses right, so no bullying will happen yet
>From there, the session ends and we all go about the rest of our Easter separately

There was some extra RP at the end with Kisara getting dragged into a circle with Akara by the warrior caste, but the situation was defused before anything unsavory could happen and both kobolds kept their dignity intact for the day. Pretty much everyone was intoxicated though, which is probably why this went over without a second thought, but it did tell me the player that it was probably going to take a lot of in-game effort to get Akara actually adjusted to being in the tribe and accepting of what he really is. Oh well, if anyone's qualified for the job, it's the kobold who already saved his life once by suplexing him through the five stages of grief! However, we'll only find out that answer later on, so I'll see you all this sunday!
Okay, the last two sessions have been some pretty major duds because the DM had nothing prepared for a while due to not having time, and then more recently his audio drivers gave out so that became a problem too. Anyway, I might as well give you all the highlights for what happened so if something happens in the next session y'all aren't left in the complete dark on it.

>Session after Easter session starts with us going to explore more of the amethyst dragon's skeleton and surrounding caves
>We bring Akara and a few orderlies, find new giant stronghold and hear about an enormous creature somewhere inside
>Go in and fight a few guys that turn the ground into quicksand and make us bleed, akara almost dies but we save him
>Go forward some more, find a big swarm of centipedes and nuke it in a few turns before nuking the parents of said swarm, giant centipedes, too
>The big monster shows up though, big blue dragon centipede
>Fucker tells us to get out of his territory and stay out after we convince him not to eat us

>Session last week (I think)
>Decide it's finally time to pick a direction for the next part of the campaign
>I still want to check out the desert, but Vyth's player overrules me with an adamantium mine nearby
>We get together a party to come with us and gather some supplies and the weasels
>We take like 20 steps out into the forest when we're ambushed by more monkey-esque trolls
>We fight our hardest, but we're TPK'd again...
>Get rescued though and brought back to the base afterwards and resolve not to step outside again until we can burn down the surrounding forest and clear out all the hostiles with the cleansing fire

Every time I fight something monkey-adjacent in DnD there's either an imminent TPK or a TPK that's avoided through pure RNG and they never give EXP worth the problems they cause. The next time we fight anything monkey-related I'm just going to get up and do something else until the fight is over. See you all tomorrow when hopefully things improve.
Kisara's Player
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>Last week there was an almost-TPK from more forest trolls, hopefully that's the last of them we see for a good few levels

>This week, we burn down the forest
>Well, Kisara enlists Yusdrayl's help in burning down the forest
>During this downtime, Vyth spends his time mining mainly
>However, something interesting happens about a week into the process when a few super-sentai-esque ogres come by while we're in the process of checking the burn progress
>They do happen to announce themselves with their loud magic, screaming, and the frantic trolls they're chasing though, so we have ample time to hide
>However, they happen to be corralling the trolls directly towards the kompound
>This isn't good, so I burn a level 2 spell to use major image to make it look like the entrance is still on fire, and this scares the trolls away from trying to find a way in and the ogres from chasing them
>However, one of the ogres stays behind for some reason and *almost* makes it past the illusion, only turning back after his perception check didn't yield a high enough score to see past my spell!
>Fantastic, that means things are safe again for now

And that's where last session ended, I have no idea what we're doing this session because all the immediate plans were thrown into jeopardy with the last almost-TPK and put on hold for Operation: Up In Flames, so I guess we'll see.

>>However, one of the ogres stays behind for some reason and *almost* makes it past the illusion, only turning back after his perception check didn't yield a high enough score to see past my spell!
He succeeded on his perception check to notice something was amiss (tremorsense and earth mastery also played a role), but he failed his will save when he interacted with the illusion to recognize it as false.
Major image is a lvl 3 spell, btw.
Screenshot_552 (1).png
The Elemental Mages in question
Kisara's Player
>Major image is a level 3 spell
huh, must've accidentally hit the 2 by accident. I swear I'm not stupid
Kisara's Player
So, it's been a hot minute since this and things happened in this session, let's get into it

>Where we last left off, we had narrowly avoided losing the tribe to a sudden ogre invasion after some quick thinking by Yours Truly
>This time, we're making plans and packing up to head for the Burning Bayou to scout it and see what new kobolds are out there for us to find
>We spend a few days getting set up with basic supplies and waiting for the weasels to return from a pre-existing scouting mission so we can take them on our own 2-month-round-trip
>They come back with the rest of the scouts, and with them comes a living gnome!
>Nice, a prisoner to torment!
>We get to work on this immediately, finding out that this guy's a potato farmer that wandered away from his home in the nearby village
>We also learn, after literally pressing him for it (with big rocks), that the village is downstream from us
>Cross-referencing this with the map markings from the other gnome a while back, we manage to pinpoint the location of the actual village and bring this info to Ukri
>After this, we go to grab the weasels, but they're too tired to go for now and thus we have to wait a few days
>Kisara decides to spend this time idly watching Ruv, a worker from the OG Spawncampers who she likes messing with on occasion, dig a hole
>However, as time goes on it becomes clear that something's not entirely right, even moreso when she drags Vyth down into the hole she's digging and pins him to the floor
>Kisara clears the dust from the hole to improve visibility with a wind spell before hopping down, upon which she barely manages to fend off some kind of psychic attack from Ruv
>Also weird, because Ruv's not a mage and thus shouldn't have any such powers
>Vyth then climbs out of the hole to detect magic and figure out more about this while Kisara uses her slippery nature to avoid Ruv's psychic attacks like the plague until this all gets figured out
>Eventually Vyth finishes narrowing it down to something, upon which Kisara takes this information and brings it to the relevant tribe authorities (Ukri and Yusdrayl)
>They show up and help to try to figure the situation out, with Yusdrayl trying to dispel magic and only ending up getting herself caught in Ruv's psychic attacks
>With this, she also starts trying to grapple Vyth and drag him into the hole Ruv was digging, so that's not good
>Ruv then latches onto one of Ukri's guards and tries to drag him in there, but he puts up a good fight and goes down swinging
>By this point we figure out that it's probably possession, and it's only happened so far to the female kobolds that are linked to Iada from the OG Spawncampers
>So that means that if we can restrain these two, then we can probably get this sorted out in a good way
>Following this revelation, Kisara runs off to find Snogla and Akara, two kobolds that aren't related to Iada, to help restrain Yusdrayl and Ruv
>This takes a while, upon which Vyth realizes that he probably won't be of much use trying to non-lethally dissuade Yusdrayl from grabbing at him, so he passes off his Wiivai-given tome to Ukri and tells him to look for a solution in there while he deals with this issue
>Ukri clears everybody out of this affected area, and after another hot second of running around, Kisara returns with Snogla and Akara
>Everyone present gets the quick rundown from Vyth, and at this point Kisara figures that the only way to really find out more without sitting around and guessing is to actually succumb to it and see what it's like from the inside
>Kisara grabs Yusdrayl's attention and I intentionally fail a will save, and Kisara's transported to a field of gray where all she hears and feel is a deep loneliness and feelings of inadequacy
>From here, she manages to push her way back out to lucidity to find herself in a tug-of-war over Akara between her and Snogla
>Nobody seems happy, but I ace a bluff check to distract Snogla long enough to try to progress things by dragging Akara around
>This, however, nets me no new insights, so I make another check to break out into lucidity again and notice a bunch of clay pots around the place
>Surprise, it's explosives!
>Kisara uses this break at lucidity to make a break, levitating Yusdrayl so Vyth can similarly run, only to find a spear line at the entrance to this tunnel to keep us all in
>Kisara uses her last few seconds in lucidity to again bluff to gain us more time, saying that she's figured out what's wrong and is trying to break us all free at this moment
>This buys us a turn from them lighting the explosives, as one of Yusdrayl's servants grabs the torch from the kobold who was about to put it to the fuse and tells him to wait
>However, if one betrayal wasn't bad enough, Snogla decides now is the time to actually try to kill us as she drags Akara beyond the spear line and shoots the explosives directly with a flaming arrow
>The tunnel collapses as supernatural phenomena fills the air, with the five of us falling into an unknown chasm somehow stuck underneath our tribe, our fates unknown to all but us because the DM told us we weren't dead

And that's the session! Vyth's player and I have already agreed that as soon as we're out of this hole, we're killing Ukri and Snogla for this. Not only is it unwise to bet against our success, but these two have actively tried to kill us now, so it's personal! Beyond that, Kisara's back floating in a field of stars inside her own head a la the encounter with the aurora dragon previously, so maybe this is connected somehow? Oh well, either way the next session is sure to be an interesting one as the plot has hit maximum thickness!

Me running stupid encounters I write while drunk almost a year ago knowing full well they're visibly garbage:
Kisara's Player
>mfw I had full warning that things were going to be shit but decided to press forward anyway
Kisara's Player
167669 167933
>Where we last left off, we were tumbling into a chasm that opened under us from a huge explosion and an even more brutal betrayal

>We come to in the underdark, particularly a mushroom forest
>Yusdrayl wakes up first and manages to wake Vyth up, who then wakes up Kisara, Ruv, and the now named soldier, Mud
>Ruv begins hollowing out a nearby fallen mushroom stem, and Vyth and Kisara get to work on finding out where the hell we are and how big this cave is
>We start by casting light on a pebble and launching it as far into the air as it'll go, but this attracts unwanted attention
>Said unwanted attention is a bigass ugly monster which we soon learn is being piloted by a mini mindflayer, and the mindflayer directs his minions to "find the mage!"
>However, by this point we were hiding inside the hollowed out mushroom stem and succeeded on all of our checks, so we're fine
>From here, we convert the stem into a boat and begin sailing across this marsh, hoping to find the way home after the pebble revealed roughly nothing and almost got us killed
>We shack up for a rest inside some monster's skeleton when it's time though, and during the rest something... big flies into the skeleton with us
>Grinding and chittering keep Vyth and Yusdrayl up through the watch, and when the rest of us wake up it's revealed that the noises in question are being caused by a swarm of giant bats!
>Said bats immediately attack, with the biggest one swiping Yusdrayl and pulling her into the air
>In response, Ruv and Mud hide while Vyth and Kisara ready themselves for combat, with Vyth summoning a demonic bat of his own to assist us
>However, the spell goes wrong somehow and the bat begins to grow and change of its own accord
>With the bat plan out of action, Kisara goes with plan B and three-thunders an orb of electricity to smack the big bat and hopefully break the swarm's morale
>This works beautifully, with the entire combat solved within the round
>We then collectively stand around and watch Vyth's demon bat change until it finally stops, turns to us, and greets us in flawless draconic
>Yeah, something's fucky

And we're going to find out today, so that'll be fun. Let's hope it doesn't kill us or give us some kind of unavoidable faustian bargain or something, those would suck. But anyway, see you guys there!
>some kind of unavoidable faustian bargain
Let the record show, no faustian bargain is unavoidable.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, an evil bat ended up turning into some kind of divine messenger and decided to talk to us

>Anyway, the bat
>The bat is revealed to be a divine messenger of some kind after we roll some knowledge checks
>The god in question trying to talk to us was Kuraulyek, god of the Urds (winged kobolds) and an overall bastard due to his betrayal of Kurtulmak just before Garl's hissyfit
>Vyth is immediately having none of this, but Kisara decides to at least hear out the bat since it's offering a way out of the underdark
>There's then a big in-character argument that ends off with Vyth trying to attack the bat and failing while Kisara actually tries negotiating with it
>This thing uses a lot of flowery language and other manipulation tactics trying to get Kisara on its side, but Kisara's not as stupid as she looks/acts, so we eventually find out that this thing will only help us out under one condition
>Become urds and go help a nearby urd settlement from whatever imminent collapse is coming for them
>It's at this point that Kisara firmly sides with Vyth again, which makes the bat unhappy to say the least
>However, it's no match for us and we manage to kill it within a couple turns, leaving us with a huge dire bat carcass
>Vyth then conducts a ritual and resurrects the bat, netting us transportation, guidance out, and two bearded [strikethrough]dragons[/strikethrough] devils to protect us on the way out of this pit
>We then pile on to the bat, and start flying for the nearest exit

And that's where the session ended! A new session is today, and now that I have a functioning computer again, I'm posting this ~20 minutes before the session starts. Anyway, see you all then or in the next session, whichever you decide to show up for!
Lord Sesotuth, General of Hell, when a bunch of fucking kobolds managed to summoned them, because they couldn't find their way out of a cave.
Kisara's Player
and don't forget the fact that its summoner was blind and deaf at the time
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we were on the zombified ex-messenger of kuralyek and were flying to look for a way out of the underdark

>We're still on the back of the bat and flying until we encounter a large stone spire rising up from the bottom of the enormous cavern until it merges with the ceiling
>Vyth wants to stop and investigate, but Kisara wants to keep flying and look for a confirmed exit
>Vyth being the one who controls the bat though, decides to take us down and lands it, letting the bearded dragons watch over it while we go to investigate closer
>Vyth leads the way, Ruv and Mud are somewhere behind him, and the sorcerors round out the rear of the party
>As we're walking through a field of stalagmites approaching the pillar, Vyth ends up getting hit by something that causes him to be both blinded and deafened!
>All this shortly after we were talking about the kind of gnome that dwells in the underdark
>Gee, I wonder what we're fighting
>Yep, more fucking gnomes
>And they're camouflaged damn well, we aren't really able to see them and the forest of stone is certainly not helping
>Vyth calls the bearded dragons to him and they go to work, screaming their battlecries as they still maintain perfect communication with the party a la https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpsezVsd0No
>Meanwhile, Yusdrayl goes off to help him and Ruv follows, leaving Kisara and Mud to stand their ground against this unseen threat
>The two ladies and the summons do a good job of keeping Vyth protected, and Kisara and Mud end up making a half-decent team themselves as they weather their own gnomish assault with surprising ease
>Well, until the gnomes realize their mortal error in challenging us, and their priest (who has done a good job in staying away from us) starts reviving gnomes so they can run away
>This combined with the gnomes summoning these big, ugly 3-armed monsters to cover their retreat is also annoying
>Either way, each team makes short work of their aggressors while the beardies take on the priest and manage to cut off his escape!
>Nice, we got a new sacrifice!
>We then clean up the mess left behind (and Kisara did NOT get shanked by another random enemy that managed to survive the fight and stab her in the ass to knock her down just like every other major fight we've been in!)
>(seriously, it's getting tiring at this point)
>But anyway, Vyth pulls off a fantastic sacrifice despite being blinded and deafened, and for this priest's life in combination with the life of a servant of kuralyek so soon before manages to catch Kurtulmak's eye to the point that he sends us a GENERAL OF HELL
>The beardies watch on in horror as the equivalent of some mcdonalds customer summons Ronald McDonald himself, and their boss's boss's boss's boss's boss, Sesotuth, strides into the mortal plane to ask a blind and deaf kobold why the hell he/she/it's now in the underdark
>The situation is worked out though, with Sesotuth agreeing to teleport us out of the underdark and use the rest of the time it's here to 'have fun,' whatever that means to a hell general
>We then are poofed to the surface, all of rejoicing happily except for the devils, the two weaker of whom are dragged off by the scruff of their necks while the stronger bulldozes everything in its path as it goes off to do... something
>Who cares about that though, we're free!
>And it's also time to take a long rest so that Vyth can get new spells prepared and fix his blind/deafness

And that's where the session ended! We're all back on the surface, and if I remember correctly, we still have the bat so we can use it to fly home! That means we get to go back and exact our revenge against those that betrayed us, and with that complete, nothing will stop us from becoming the true driving force of the colony again! See you all at tomorrow's session where we may see the conclusion of this arc of the story!