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Kaverns & Kobolds Two: The Electric Boogaloo
166420 166421
Welcome to the Kaverns & Kobolds Klub (/kkk/).

This source will be dedicated to posting resources and session logs for a whacky low-level 3.5e adventure featuring an all-kobold party, with the recurring theme of (((gnome))) genocide.
The game begins at lvl 1 using standard 3.5e rules, with a few houserules. The setting is generic and uses elements from various d&d settings. Characters begin at lvl 1 with 40 point buy stats, and all PCs recieve Dragonwrought and Dragontouched as a bonus feat!

Adventure Synopsis:
>For centuries, the kobolds of the Spawncamper tribe lived in rugged peace, amassing great wealth in the mines and only suffering occasional mass casualties from battles with neighboring goblinoids, gnomes, gnolls, dwarves, and really everything else. However, that changed just a months ago, when the tribe's clergy stopped recieving bonus spells from their almighty Lord and Savior: the Devil Kurtulmak. The Silence of Kurtulmak lasted for only one week, but the event shook the core of the tribe. In their search for answers, the tribal leadership determined that the cause for the silence was for the fact that they had failed to wage war on the neighboring gnomish kingdom of Glimmersburg for too many years. Intent on proving their devotion to their lord, the fanatic kobolds rallied their forces and planned an all out assault on Glimmersburg and its neighboring villages.
>The invasion resulted in catastrophe. While the Kobolds fought well and were skilled in the arts of gnome-slaying, they miscalculated the strength of the gnomish kingdom's alliance with the nearby dwarven clans, and were forcefully pushed back and outnumbered. They also never expected to be flanked by svirfneblin from the underdark blocking off their path of escape. Outnumbered and surrounded in three dimensions, the Spawncamper tribe suffered casualties like they'd never seen before, pushed to the bring of extinction. What's more, the war revealed veins of rich mineral resources that the kobolds had been mining, and the gnomes of Glimmersburg decided they would annex the territory of the spawncampers and get rid of the kobold nuisiance once and for all. In a last bid effort, the tribal leadership set off a series of explosive traps that collapsed the majority of the mines that had been taken over by gnomes, causing mass casualties on both sides, but buying some of the remaining kobolds time to escape. Spawncamper tribe was all but destroyed, with the few that survived scattering in every direction for survival. In a The Gnomes currently occupy what remains of the mines, and are intent on slaughtering every last one of them.
>But as the mighty Kurtulmak taught them, no battle with gnomes is over so long as one kobold survives. Soon, the gnomes of Glimmersburg will once again face the wrath of Kurtulmak and the blood of Tiatmat.
>And so, we begin with the position of our heroes. They are brave kobold warriors who fought in the Glimmersberg assault. Ranking high in their respective warbands, they've seen their share of work and battle following the three K's of Koboldism: Kruelty, Kowardice and Kunning. After strategically pushing their younger comrades into the meatgrinder, they set off a powerful Wyrm ditherbomb that collapsed the cavern of a battlefield while they hid in a storage cache where they stayed for days.
>Running low on resources, our heroes are set to emerge from their little fishbowl and make their own path. Perhaps they will seek revenge on the gnomes who destroyed their society. Perhaps they'll search the rubble for survivors. They might rebuild and repoulate the mines themselves, or leave the kaverns in search of better luck elsewhere. They might just cower in place until they run out of dead corpses and eat eachother. Perhaps they'll set off on their own adventure and the honest life of the average murderhobo. Only time can tell.

The /kkk/ runs on discord (for now) as a corner of the 'Official' /mlpol/ Horseplay Initiative. I started this adventure as a joke, but I've decided to use it to test methods and media for a multi-media Westmarches that I've been planning to create for this community. New members/players are always welcome:

This setting uses Action Points (Eberron style, not UA style), and any character who writes a log, session summary, in-character anecdote, artwork or other substantial contribution gets one free action point at the end of the session, so please write logs.
142 replies and 82 files omitted.
165601 165829
>Where we last left off, we had just returned from our scouting mission in Oakherst, finding that it had been bought out by Gnisrael and reporting this information to Ukri

>We actually begin in a brief interlude between leaving town and getting back to camp, where we're ambushed by a party of gnomes!
>We quickly kill them all, letting not a single one flee back to warn the town of our presence in the forest
>The rest of the day goes as discussed though, with us reporting our findings and weasels to Ukri before going off to do our own respective things
>Kisara takes rest of the day off, Adooris writes a letter and attempts to talk to the Pelor lady (potentially jeopardizing the raid, I'm not sure), and Vyth goes with Akara/Yusdrayl to make a new shrine to Kurtulmak
>In the process, he breaks a geode and ends up pissing off an earth spirit fey thingy called an oread
>Apparently, this thing's basically a mountain dryad and they fucked with its pet rock or something by turning it into a statue of Kurtulmak
>We spend some time fucking with it, but it then initiates combat
>It charms Vyth, and in response we go to battlestations
>Kisara fires off a warning shot that does some minor damage, and we end up negotiating with it through Akara doing what he does best (being a bitch)
>It wants us to donate some mineral/metallic stuff to compensate for fucking with its rock though, so, unfortunately, we do...
>Kisara gives it a 100gp copper ring to fuck off, Adooris gives it some gold nuggets we got from the gnomes, Vyth offers a buttload of onyx gems (still charmed, by the way), and Ukri/Yusdrayl cough up some gems and copper ingots
>With the current situation resolved, it lets us ask one question each
>Adooris: "what item did the gnome take from the tree?"
>Oread: "A token of the earth imprinted with the lady's face and tail (a coin)"
>Kisara: "why the fuck are you here?"
>Oread: "banished to the forest for committing mountain crimes"
>Vyth: "wanna fuck?"
>Oread: "lmao no"
>Yusdrayl: "Where's the good mining spots for shinies?"
>Oread: "a list of places for later"
>Ukri: "Is the tribe safe here?"
>Oread: "Not my problem"
>Akara: "[sniveling dwarven]?"
>Oread: "[incomprehensible fey]"
>We then have a small IC argument where Kisara demands to know what Akara said and, when denied, starts throwing insults while Adooris attempts to stand up to her raw Facts and Logic™
>Vyth and Ukri then animate some dead in preparation for the raid, and the session ends there

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus 2 sacrificed for power

All in all, a fun session and I enjoyed being able to screw around with the oread and also fighting some more gnomes! It sucks that there's no session this week as the GM needs to tackle some IRL stuff, but I don't mind it. Next week's the raid, and I hope to see you all there!
165655 165731
>Mfw I decide to use a humanoid-ish enemy but forget it has no languages in common with the party
Could wear a Translator Ring that breaks it dies or anyone tries stealing it
<scribble scribble
Are you sure? Look again
Nah, I don't ever retcon monster stats/equipment. Once initiative is rolled I stop editing the statblock.
Anyways, there was still an NPC that could speak Dwarven that was able to translate.
Ukri speaks Dwarven too, now that I think about it.
165817 165828
Meet the super-scary, absurd-damage, borderline-unfair miniboss I made, that died with one hit because he failed a saving throw at the beggining of the encounter.
<Aye, it do be like that sometimes.
Maybe it was for the best. The energy-drain he was capable of might have really been a bit too brutal in the long run. Party still has to fight my *other* super brutal Rogue/Mage hybrid boss.
You don't fudge dice rolls to make fights last until a second or two after they stop being fun?
Kisara's Player
165844 165947
the way he described the boss and due to the fact that it stopped being fun on turn 1, I'd say that the fight only lasting one round is completely justified. Anyway...

>Where we last left off, Vyth and Ukri had raised some dead after we fucked around with an oread

>We start off the session by interrogating some gnomes
>Good intimidation makes all of them start shitting themselves
>All but one though, turns out he's a cleric of berefart bitchass
>Knowing this, we do everything we can to get as much information out of him as possible
>Kisara even eats his own disembodied arm after beating him with it, much to his horror and our amusement
>We eventually decide to just check his gear, and find a suspiciously magic paper
>We start breaking apart its magical defenses and even spring a magical trap on one of the prisoner gnomes causing the cleric to offer us an actual reading, but we decline and decode some more until we make another prisoner read it
>It's just some cryptic bullshit, something about dots at sundown or something
>This means nothing to us, but hopefully it gives us some way to find that one asshole
>We then skip forward to just before the raid, where we sacrifice all the prisoners as a solar eclipse begins at sundown
>Said solar eclipse lasts for way longer than usual, and still hasn't ended as of the end of the session
>When we arrive, we find Oakherst already under assault by gnolls, so distraction secured?
>All the kobold teams break off to do their jobs, and we start by going to rescue the captured kobolds
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
>And that Vyth disguised himself as a human child when we went in, meaning that him getting caught didn't break our cover
>We definitely fuck up at getting them out though, so that sucks
>The human Slavemaster then jumpscares us, starting combat with all of us but Akara being stuck cowering for one round
>Luckily for me though, Akara not being terrified shifts his focus and stops me from immediately being killed outright!
>Vyth then counters this fear bullshit by blackpilling him with the heartache spell, leaving him in the exact position we were in last turn
>Akara coup-de-graces that asshole despite a bunch of approaching enemy guards' best efforts, but he still almost gets shredded completely
>He survives though, leaving kisara open to fry 6 of the 8 not in melee with Akara
>Everybody but meepo takes on some guards, he's busy actually freeing the kobolds and getting them out of harm's way
>Akara goes down after a few too many hits though, so that's a big problem
>Vyth and Kisara finish off the remaining guards relatively quickly and help him back up though, so our hero doesn't die here!
>Meepo also finishes freeing all the bolds, so with Vyth's skellies fucking up the remaining humans, we decide it's time to cheese it
>We put Akara (while he's recovering) and the Slavemaster's corpse on the floating disk and bring them both out of the camp with us
>I know that I'm taking his whip for myself, the rest of his loot can be divided between Vyth and Akara
>As of there though, the session is over

>Current gnome kill count: 325 dead plus ??? sacrificed for power

Nicely done! We saved more kobolds (a few of them being revealed as more siblings of Kisara/Adooris/Yusdrayl after I completely miss an obvious hint), and we killed the worst boss we've had to fight yet with minimal pants-shitting! I'm hoping that that whip I get's going to have some kickass powers to use against the gnome, but if not then it still makes for a cool trophy for Kisara's growing horde. Onwards to the next part of this mission, finding that asshole cleric and putting him down to get our shit back and reclaim our pride! See you guys next week!
>We stealth our way into the human camp successfully, though it helps that it's already being fucked with by tons of undead
Perhaps I didn't describe this accurately. The zombies in the fort weren't attacking the marines; they were following their orders and marching out of the camp.
Pic semi-related.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we killed the slavemaster, freed some kobolds, and fucked up the major stronghold of human resistance to our raid (and I lost my session notes for this last one because my browser crashed...)

>This time, we're going back to the rendezvous point by a gnoll demon lady and her gagglefuck of retards, and she's definitely a bit scary but her entourage breaks and then she bugs out
>There are also some grosser than usual gnomes helping her out, and it's revealed that these assholes worship a somehow more evil gnomish deity that just wants to consoom
>We move on and report back, delivering the freed kobolds and the slavemaster's corpse
>We then get word that there's a bunch of dancing Israelis gnomes around the place, so we investigate
>Turns out they're all illusions, and the spots on the horizon hint has told us nothing yet
>We're at least on the right track with the gnomes and their ritual though, so that's good
>We're rudely interrupted by a gnoll necromancer and her ghouls though, so we have to waste more precious time and spells on dealing with these interrupting cunts instead of our true enemy
>And that's where shit ends

Until now! Hopefully we aren't interrupted again and can actually get to the bottom of this crap chute so we can make that one evil tree stop wigging out and get our home back, but if it's as I suspect and we don't, then... fuck.
Kisara's Player
165954 165959 166044
>Where we last left off, we beat the tar out of a gnoll necromancer and her goonsquad while making no headway on our investigation

>Now, we're still standing around and waiting for something to happen to yield new information
>The gnomes are illusions, we know that, now what else can we find out?
>Well, we can find out that we need to make listen checks
>Wait, never mind, it's just Yusdrayl and some of her own mooks
>Apparently she got worried about us being out here and gathered a rescue squad since four kobolds in a warzone is apparently a death sentence instead of a covert ops team
>We put her mind at ease by informing her that we survived the Spawncampers' collapse and killed every gnome there with only three of us, and she then opts to join us on what's left of the investigation
>Said investigation is also cut even shorter by a bright flash of blue and a sonic boom from the center of town, and upon knowledge rolls being made, we learn that the humans have just used the Emperor's Seal
>Said seal being activated means one of two things: either the remaining human population is being bugged out, or they're bugging in an entire subjugation force
>Either way, shit's FUBAR and we need to scram
>We abandon the investigation and start circling around Oakherst to meet back up at the rendezvous point, but along the way two things happen
>1: We get ambushed by more gnolls and the martials take them out quickly while at least Kisara decides that it's better to just run
>2: We notice a pattern in the illusory gnomes, particularly that they all seem to be situated behind shops!
>Perfect, there's our clue!
>We stealth our way over to a shop now and head in the back, finding the shopkeeper dead on the floor and a knife in his back matching the type of knife that we know is used by the assholes we're looking for
>We also find a secret tunnel under a trapdoor, but knowing what we do, we check it for traps
>The door is trapped, the tunnel's VERY trapped, and by the time we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we are paranoid of more traps
>Also, in fear of actually risking our lives in a real fight here, we wait outside the light and plan for a while since this seems like the place to find Dickhead Stickyfingers
>Such plans include splitting the party to get help while the rest of us forge ahead, sending one of Yusdrayl's guards to do the same, and even just full tactical retreating back to the rendezvous point to report our findings and bring the entire raid force down into the complex
>We don't settle on anything actually tactical though, since I have a fart in a jar that I saved from some optional fight we had a while ago!
>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
>The gnomes in the room are all gassed, and since we completely misjudged just how much this spell would spread, we also retreat back up the tunnel until it stops chasing us at an incline
>Through some other knowledge rolls, we also learn that this spell will last for around 10 minutes and, so long as it's not forced to travel up an incline, will spread up to a 900-foot radius
>Well then!
>The gurgled kvetching of well over 300 gnomes eventually echoes up the tunnel to us, all the while Kisara starts laughing maniacally at her own spark of mad genius playing out somehow much better than even she expected until the 10 minutes pass and we get to explore what apparently is actually a full underground complex!
>We make our way into the first room, find a couple clerics of berefart who were BRAAAPed to death, loot their bodies, and find nothing of use to us, so we move on deeper
>As we move deeper, we find that this was more than just the site of some berefart bitchass cultists conducting a ritual, it was an entire gnomish safehouse in the event of a raid on the town!
>Minecarts of dead gnomes are passed, counted, and added to the total, gnome corpses are found in the middle of doing mundane things like buying, selling, and eating food (which Kisara of course steals and eats some of), and more of those clerics are found and their corpses looted to see if any of them are our guy
>Eventually, we make it to a place directly under the town center, what seems to be a full nexus of the gnomish refugee efforts littered with the corpses of various gnomes and more clerics, but still none of them are our guy
>Damn, we missed him!
>Oh well, maybe he's still up ahead?
>Well, I'd love to know, but Kisara just got tapped for well over her HP total and goes down, forcing me to action-point stabilize!
>And behind us, bloody and looking very worse for wear but nowhere near dead yet, is Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>Initiative is rolled and the fight starts, everybody who goes into melee with him either almost dies or, in the unlucky case of one kobold who got some unlucky rolls, outright dies
>This is also within the first turn, so this guy's probably going to TPK us and I make my displeasure known while the DM counters with the fact that this encounter was supposed to be very different and he was supposed to be much less bloodthirsty
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
>Entirely fair, but I'm still salty
>Luckily though, Meepo scores an incredibly lucky triple crit after Akara and the mooks soften the gnigger up a bit, allowing him to effectively blow his head apart with a high velocity slug from his summoned shotgun!
>This ends the bossfight and we're, surprisingly enough, not entirely dead! Everybody picks up and we dust ourselves off, saying a few quick words about the fallen guy and hyping up Meepo for saving our asses
>The session ends there though, since the DM had no idea how to keep going after his boss died
Kisara's Player
An INCREDIBLY productive session! We've solved the ritual, killed damn near 400 gnomes, and we killed our first BBEG even if it was entirely by Lady Luck deciding that the dice love us today for some reason! Also, we got a relic of Kurtulmak that that asshole swiped a while back, it's basically a wearable bag of holding that we find all of our missing shit in! Hopefully we also find the missing coin so we can calm the evil tree back down and hopefully salvage what's left of our previous home, but if not we did just clear out a fairly large underground complex that was premade, so... Well. Anyway, now that this (what I consider to be) side mission is over, we can hopefully end off this other side mission and then continue about uniting every kobold tribe in the area into the Neo Spawncampers! Either way, I'll see you all next sunday for the next session and whatever comes next!

>Current gnome kill count: 683 dead, 6 sacrificed for power, and 1 asshole who's getting eaten as soon as we get back to camp whether he's cooked or not
>>I yeet the "scroll" of what turns out to be cloudkill with a launch spell, and, since the DM thinks it's a clever use of the item, he allows it
In all technicality, you didn't actually need to use that, since Cloudkill has pretty decent range. I just treated it as a +1 circumstance bonus to the caster level check (which I rolled secretly) needed to activate the scroll in the first place (failure could have meant a mishap that would have killed all of you instantly).
And you succeeded, and I learned why you don't give low level parties randomized scrolls of high level spells...
>will spread up to a 900-foot radius
Incorrect, actually. The Cloudkill spell simply moves 10 feet away from the caster every round. It was due to the simplified layout of the dungeon (which was based on a subway system) that the spell managed to drift through every corner of the tunnel. The widest part of the dungeon was ~40 ft across. Had you actually fought through the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard.
I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you Xp. Also the spell had defiler bonuses due to how Belak scribed it.
>find a couple clerics
Yes, there were several Clerics in the dungeon, all of which had Dark Road prepared that would have ideally been able to create a bridge across the Cacophonous Canyon where the exit of the dungeon leads and evacuate the civilians. However, all of them but the boss were below lvl 3, so they died in the gas. All of the ones outside the initial spell's effect failed their spellcraft checks to properly identify it as a Cloudkill spell (they thought it was just a Fog Cloud spell with hostiles hidden in it, and braced for battle), which meant that they too perished in the gas.
Erkey Timbers had his skills spread so thin that he failed his Concentration check to cast his own Dark Road, which meant he was pushed and trampled by a mob of panicking gnomes who fell into the gorge as the gas advanced on them.
>Klepto the Knobnose fully buffed out with all sorts of combat spells!
>"He was supposed to throw mooks at you and make jokes to taunt us, but the cloudkill killed them all and he's understandably pissed" and whatnot
Yep. One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died).
Erkey Timbers, if that was even his real name (it wasn't), was the sole survivor of the dungeon. Having lost a great amount of Constitution from the gas, and blinded by rage and fury. He forwent his planned illusionary deception/stalling routine and instead elected to buff himself with every combat spell he had, intent on murdering any mage that could have been capable of casting the spell that that slew his flock. After taking some nasty hits, he was defeated.

The session didn't really go as planned, but it certainly was fun.
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Funny genocide spell
Kisara's Player
>I just told you it spread backwards and made you outrun the gas because I wanted to scare you
tbh I think that actually worked better than just making it go forward, after all gas diffuses in every direction it can and, if it's heavier than air due to the magical toxins, that would mean it's supposed to flow downwards anyway, like how it was roleplayed during the session.
>had you actually fought the dungeon, it would have been a nightmare of close-quarters fighting with hidden rogues attacking you, while the mobs of kvetching gnomes ran around and created a trampling hazard
so yeah, a very good idea that we cloudkilled the place instead of trying to actually navigate it lmao
>One of three creatures in that dungeon who high enough level to not be instantly killed by the gas (the others were the Paladin and the Wizard you passed; they both failed their saves and died)
I shudder to imagine what those two would've been capable of if they had also survived alongside our target, it probably would've been a fresh higher level party against our severely depleted low-level party and thus an absolute slaughter. Good thing they died!
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we managed to kill our great enemy and looted his corpse, retrieving our stuff and reclaiming our honor!

>Now, we're still in the tunnel and celebrating our triumph over this powerful foe, lulled into a sense of security by the stillness of the tunnel around us
>Such celebration was, unsurprisingly, cut short when we heard something coming from deeper within the tunnel
>It was... skittering?
>Mechanical skittering, and a lot of it!
>We're suddenly being run down by a horde of copper spiders and we have to get out of here yesterday!
>This thought is also punctuated by a deafening draconic roar from outside of our darkvision range, coming from an immense silhouette!
>This dragon then crawls forward, revealing itself to be a copper dragon whose eyes are heavily bleeding and is just as pissed off as the jerkoff we just killed
>It screams something about wanting to know who disturbed its lair, and we all stay quiet like the smart kobolds we were, while also making like trees and running the fuck away
>The dragon and its mech army pursues us, the dragon almost catching and instakilling Akara, but I blow my last wings of cover spell and save him from a particularly swift and gruesome demise
>We then manage to pull away from the dragon and exit the tunnels, returning to the shop we initially came from and noticing that the state of affairs has changed yet again
>Now even the gnolls are in full retreat, being assaulted by Minecraft's finest in the form of a bunch of big beefy golems
>Two of which were patrolling around the front and back of this shop respectively, one of which was standing between us and retreating back to the rendezvous point yet again
>However, this was an easy thing to overcome, as some good lore rolls gave us the reminder that golems short out from electricity spells and Kisara still had almost all of her level 0 spells!
>Kisara hides just inside a window and stealthily casts thunderhead, putting a dark cloud over the golem and leaving him in a state of shock as a small pack of kobolds charges out of the shop right in front of him!
>From there, we were unimpeded in getting back to the rendezvous point, but we found it deserted
>The bastards left us behind...
>A mistake they won't make again, once we prove to them just how good their A-Team (or maybe the K-team?) is!
>We track down the obvious trail of kobold prints as they file back to camp, but along the way we get interrupted by a bunch of ugly fucking demons
>The martials handle them while Kisara plinks at them with a crossbow, accomplishing roughly nothing in the process until they're all dead
>This then leaves us open again to getting to camp, which we manage to get back to in decent time, surprising everyone there yet again
>We're given a hero's welcome and we report our findings and lootings to Ukri who's suitably impressed, and we take our appropriate share of all the loot inside the asshole's cloak while moving on to our next mission the next day
>The K-Team then returns to the carved geode in the woods to talk to the Oread again and see which coin is the one we're looking for to calm down the tree, and after bribing her with 75PP worth of copper coins among assorted other coins, she answers us
>She pulls an exceedingly old looking gold coin from the pile, giving it back to us while taking all of the remaining coins into a hole under her rock while Vyth continues trying to get with her, and Kisara mockingly tries to help
>After that, with our new plan set, we get ready to delve back into the temple of Chronepsis and give the coin back to the tree and hopefully reclaim our new home!
>And the session ended there

Good session, and good escaping! Somehow we managed to outrun a copper dragon and live to see the next day, and now we just have to get to the tree and give it the coin to hopefully get it to go back to sleep and stop trying to dig its way to the surface. After that, we can hopefully retake our home and move on to the next kobold tribe in the area to make the Neo-Spawncampers one tribe stronger! See you guys... Well, in a couple hours, honestly.
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Highlights from last week's session
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Highlights from last session:
Kisara's Player
166053 166086
>Where we last left off, we managed to escape the final fuckening of our time in the village and secured our next step in the process of calming the tree back down

>With our new direction secured, we go through the forest again to get back to the temple
>The forest is a lot more ominous now too
>We make our rolls and learn that it's some kind of a haunt, it's probably the tree's fault in some way or something
>All of a sudden, the weasels start barking at something above us!
>Some shit then falls on us, turns out it's troll monkes
>Vyth gets immediately grappled and then pulled up the tree by one, everyone else is fine so far
>Some cockass random fucking gnome then blinds us all and makes the fight that much harder before he gets eaten by a spare troll because we got access to a new mechanic (plot points), but it doesn't help much given the damage is already done
>Pretty soon, all of us but Akara are grappled
>I'm under a third health
>Vyth is dragged up a tree again, Yusdrayl was dropped from high up, everybody's kinda fucked
>Luckily Yusdrayl manages to kill the one dragging me up the tree, so the TPK isn't happening yet
>However, the battle still takes a hot minute to finish and Vyth almost dies
>Maybe monkeys just shouldn't be used since they end up threatening TPKs for no reason most of the time... flashbacks to Red Hand of Doom
>Enough being salty though, I haven't actually died yet and thus don't need to pull a Henderson out of my ass
>We then grab the limited loot and Kisara slaps her teammates for being fags
>We then continue through this forest of garbage back to the temple yet again
>Time to see if we can make it through to the place we need to go or if we get fucked again!
>No fuckings here, luckily, so we make it to the temple and get inside
>We then start climbing down a rope to get where we need to go
>However, the cock ass imp from a long fucking time ago gnaws the rope apart, causing all of us but Akara to fall
>Oh boy, time to die to fall damage!
>Nope, just take half your health...
>So many fun surprise mechanics this session
>We heal up and then properly go inside
>On the way in, we see a bunch of different kinds of footprints, probably fucking adventurers or something
>We then go downstairs, but it turns out they were trapped with grease and fire!
>Vyth uses create water to help us, but some shadowy thing chases us down the stairs
>We manage to get past it into the actual temple proper now, and it's probably also infested with goblins again
>For old time's sake, we check on the skeleton closet
>It's helped us wonderfully by killing all sorts of dudes even in our absence!
>It even got to the point that somebody had to paint "NOT" over the treasure room sign!
>Lol, lmao
>We do decide to take the bois with us though since we may need them on the crawl ahead, as well as using the nightcaller that we forgot we had to raise some of the miscellaneous corpses
>With our forces sufficiently buffed, we continue moving our way towards the tree
>On the way we find another gnome in a box, we ice it immediately since we're not making that mistake a second time
>There's a mole too, which is very angry and decides to frightful presence us on its turn
>Kisara attacks it with a three-thunders lightning ball, but it does nothing to stun the mole
>Why did I take this feat again?
>Anyway, the fight goes on and more gnomes in cages are splattered while the mole keeps doing things in its ragey cage trying to break out
>One of the "gnomes" then just gets fucking gigantic though for some reason, breaking out of its cage and growing to 12 feet tall somehow
>This weird gnome, after knowledge rolls, is revealed to be a spriggan, some pseudo-gnome that worships the "only" evil deity in the gnomish pantheon, a neutered mole that wants to consoom
>The session ends there though, so this fight will end another day!

Another one of the sessions of all time, and between fear monkeys and now grab monkeys I now don't trust any kind of monkey to be a balanced fight in DnD. Anyway, I guess we now have our next major target for this campaign: Angry Mole and the Gneutered Gnome Squad, whom we need to beat to reclaim our lost and defiled home!
>limited loot
Those trolls were actually pretty loaded considering that they're CR 2.
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Highlights from yesterday's session:
To anybody who's interested, the KKK is open to new members.
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Kisara's Player, the Technologically Challenged
Ok, so where we left off there was a big ass spriggan and a mole raging in its wagey cage in the room we were in on our way back to the bigass tree to give it back its coin.

>Still in the room and doing combat, everybody else works on killing the spriggan while Kisara continues plinking the mole with spells
>Spriggan finally dies and due to fear auras from the mole we all have to retreat when it finally stops being held in a corner
>We all run back to the front entryway as the mole is left to do... demonic mole things, I guess
>One of us then gets the bright idea to go back out the way we came in, upon which the eldritch horror we left outside creates another fear aura to drive us to halfway in between it and the mole
>We then spend our time regrouping in a closet until we get our sanity back, upon which we see what all the mole's gotten up to
>Apparently it's now huge and tearing its way through the gnome/spriggan population of this place
>lol, lmao even
>All the same, we decide to make things a little more even by throwing some damage at the mole's ass before hightailing it around the alternate way to the tree hole
>We get involved with some spriggans also trying to flank it, and pester them accordingly while making sure the mole also gets some appropriate peppering before we initiate operation backdoor
>Along the way, we also break a few more captured kobolds out of their imprisonment and bring them with us !
>From here, we manage to sneak along fairly undisturbed aside from one more group of several spriggans, all of whom go down fairly easily now that we know what they're up to and all
>We then start pushing through the final stretch until we come across an area that we need to actually push through, namely a small hole made from one of the tree limbs cutting off the hallway
>The skeletons stand guard at the rear while kobolds squeeze their way through, until the final one, Yusdrayl, gets her fat ass stuck for four rounds until she's been greased, pushed on from behind by two skeletons, and pulled on from the front by several kobolds
>And the bitch has the audacity to pull out her jug of whipped cream and continue gorging herself after making it through because "her tail got singed"
>An argument then ensues with Yusdrayl trying to deny the obvious to everyone while Kisara tries to turn it around against her to maybe inspire her to not be the only kobold who can't count as tiny while squeezing, but the brainlets we rescued don't listen to reason, Akara follows the crowd, and Vyth fails his sense motive roll
>However, said roll then prompts a heal check, upon which we learn some things OOC that will be saved until Vyth's player opts to finally spill the beans IC
>And that's where things ended

And now it's 1:39 AM on the following sunday and I'm just now getting this out because I lost my tabs twice through technical difficulties and had to remember all this on the fly! There's probably going to be errors, but what do you expect from a sleep-deprived man a week after the fact? Anyway, this next session's when we go back into the tree hole, so let's see how that goes!
Highlights from today's session:
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, Yusdrayl got stuck in a hole and we made it back to the hole down to the basement!

>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
>We attempt to negotiate with him about the coin since he appears to still be sentient, but all that prompts is for him to dominate Kisara and send a bunch of our rescued kobolds into the pit to die
>As I was now no longer in control of my character, I was immediately dreading my imminent demise or worse, a TPK
>However, as I could do literally nothing to stop it, I opted to waste my time elsewhere for long enough to microwave some leftover pizza and ate it while watching youtube and waiting for something to happen
>And eventually something does happen, after two of my spells were burned with the purpose of killing the rest of the party Yusdrayl manages to dispel the domination instead of running away which she had a coinflip to do
>Anyway, with that mess handled, we finally get back to our actual purpose here
>Mainly, the coin
>Except all of our routes are cut off by roots
>Joy, more squeezing
>We then decide to go do something more worth our time, so Kisara throws the coin somewhere frustratedly and we all make for the underdark entrance we found here before
>Except that it's been blocked off by rocks
>Well, we dig through the rocks and find a burrowroot on the other side, a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
>We all decide to fuck off now, with Vyth spawning a giant centipede to hold the root at bay until we can squeeze through the opposite doorway
>We also don't forget the coin either
>Now that we're not in combat anymore, we're able to get away and regroup to treat some wounds inflicted by the plant and actually get back to what our initial mission was
>Before that though, we encounter some kind of weird dragon made of debris and detritus
>Said "dragon" turns out to be a guardian of the temple, a dragon's soul manifested into a body made of the area its sworn to defend or something
>Anyway, the "dragon" hears us and stares us down for a while before it makes a sense motive check on us, finds that we're here for a good reason, and lets us pass to the treasure room to deliver the coin
>And now, we're parked in front of said room after Vyth almost got eviscerated by the tree for trying to get in except it saw the coin and let him go without any problems
>And then the session ended, except in-text RP after the fact says that there's something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again

>And that's where the session ended, hopefully the next one's less fucky and I don't have any more of my spells burned by someone that isn't me. However, given I'm the party's main DPS for as long as I have spells, I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water and it's only a matter of time before it happens again somehow (either that or my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party). See you all next week, I guess?
>I'm pretty sure the DM's smelled blood in the water
[deranged laughter]
>>In this session, we see a face that we haven't seen in quite some time, a face that we last left dead on the ground in the middle of a room entirely on fire!
>>That's right, that faggoty elf priest is back as some kind of undead!
Clarification: you did not recognize anything familiar about this particular elf. It's face was rotting and falling away.
You did, however, recognize the look of utter madness in its glowing green eyes, similar to those of Belak (aka The Preacher).
>a big nasty carnivorous plant that can poison us and splits into two of itself when it gets to low HP!
Don't forget the part where it can move it's speed as an immediate action. Probably it's scariest ability, in terms of survivability.
Also, it's not poisonous. It just leaves nasty, gaping sounds that bleed profusely and reduce your constitution.
>>We also don't forget the coin either
Yeah, throwing it away might've been painful without Vyth's Luck.
>makes a sense motive check on us
Not entirely accurate, but the creature didn't seem hostile to you, for some reason.
>something laughing nearby that we don't know about and our weasels are scared again
>my shit will saves are abused elsewhere to force Kisara into either doing something else harmful to either herself or the party
Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again. It's only by luck of the flowcharts that it hasn't happened that often yet.
Benign Transposition is a bitch.
Kisara's Player
>Half the most serious villains are Illusionists: It's guaranteed to come up again
Duly noted, time to find ways to get around this in some way
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AI Kisara art
What AI generated that and how did you get such a good result?
It was done by a friend of Kisara's player, over the course of several hours.
>it was a website that required a 10$ subscription, that's all I remember

Also, if you're interested in playing, now would be a great time to introduce new characters.
Some highlights from today's session:
More highlights
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, we were just outside the room where we needed to put the coin into and Vyth almost got skewered by the tree in response, but didn't at the last second

>Now, we're still stuck down in the dungeon and we're no closer to figuring out how to do what we need to
>With that out of the way, we decide our best option would probably be to find shroombro so he can help us out
>We get to looking around and eventually find a bunch more of the crazy ass elf corpses fighting a fuckoff pile of gnomes with thoqquas and the tree thingies forming a moshpit around them
>We decide we'd rather not get involved with this clusterfuck, but Vyth gets contacted by one of the preachers
>She asks us what in the fuck we're doing here, upon which all of us but Vyth opt to not get involved, but we're dragged into it as soon as we learn that the priest will help us if we prove we aren't hostile
>We throw some spells into the enemy gnomes who have three particularly disgusting guys with edgy names that I don't remember, so I'll just call them Khorne, Tzeentch, and Nurgle due to their respective attributes
>One's fat and disgusting, one's angry and on fire, and the last one's an anorexic goblin (if I remember correctly, at least)
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
>Luckily for us, this was enough and we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
>Said journey is by no means easy though, as we're first ambushed by skeletons (not particularly hard, but we're out of healing and low on spells so it could've gotten rocky)
>Speaking of getting rocky, we then get ambushed by a few more of those gem-eating bugs and are forced to fight on both sides!
>During this fight, I, in my unlimited knowledge and wisdom, almost end up just throwing in the towel because I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
>Anyway, the bugs are killed and we end up hearing some laughing from nearby
>Some Jevil-looking motherfucker popped out of thin air and started to laugh at us before realizing we could see him and then hid behind a nearby root
>We decide to confront him and find that he's some kind of undead made from a bard or other performer with some kind of unfinished business that can only be gotten rid of by beating him in a battle of wits and then forcing his ultimate purpose upon him, and he's likely made from one or more of the gnomes we killed for various reasons
>We name him chucklefuck
>Anyway, Kisara being the prideful lizard she is, she starts hammering him with questions to try to find one that he doesn't know but she does, while Vyth takes the complete different approach and instead decides to turn his own existence against him by laughing at him for being dead
>We manage to pester him into leaving us alone for the day (supposedly), but after Kisara has her words changed into something completely different as they leave her mouth, we find that he's not truly gone
>Well, at least chucklefuck isn't a physical threat...
>Anyway, Vyth then has to get the preacher's attention since it's doing something with some kind of tree spirit, and he almost gets killed by it but is rescued by Akara at the last moment
>We do eventually get the elf's attention and continue going though, so that's good
>Next up, we find a room full of scarred and charred mushrooms!
>Clearly the work of the chaos gnomes, and also all the more upsetting as failing a fortitude save shows us that it's the collective colony of myconids that lived here!
>All that remains is a little puffball sheltering under a corpse, so we go to get him out and preserve at least one of this population
>No one deserves such a callous genocide, and with the perpetrators being gnomish, at least Kisara can't help but see parallels to her own existence
>Unfortunately, said corpse the little guy was stuck under was full of rotgrubs!
>We all get the fuck out and a skeleton pulls Mini Shroombro out from under the pile as we leave the room, but the grubs aren't done with us yet!
>Kisara throws a lightning bolt at the tide of nasties, vaporizing a fair few, but there are way more where that came from
>We're forced to think not just on our feet, but on both the back foot and our toes at the same time
>We use resources that we barely knew we had in unexpected ways, and even that's not enough entirely as Akara almost succumbs to a rotgrub infestation and flat-out dies, but Vyth's player strikes a faustian bargain with our DM for three session recaps in exchange for an action point reroll in advance
>He accepts the deal, seeing as how we were even out of those and I couldn't help or transfer my final point for this roll and we didn't want to lose our best (and only) melee attacker/meat wall
>The dice are rolled, and Akara lives!
>The swarm is also dealt with after this, with the skeletons carrying us through their remaining presence since apparently even killing them doesn't quite kill them or something
>But now, without any further issues, we continue on to the final goal of our time in this hellhole
>The elf finishes leading us back to the treasury and claims the blade that we stole from the other faggoty elf that we killed last time we were down here and uses it to cut open the doors, meaning we're now able to do what we need to!
>Mini Shroombro and the priest are still saying things about a sacrifice, so we have to figure out how we have goat blood and red fruits on us, but it turns out to all be an elaborate mistranslation for strawberries and cream, something that Yusdrayl had been hoarding ever since the village
>Anyway, Kisara bullshits the jug off her and Vyth conducts a ritual with it, leading to him getting something referred to as the "heart of the lady"
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>Said heart is a pulsating woodball that we get no other instructions for other than what boiled down to "take this and run"
>The preacher then ditches us, leaving us without any other companions...
>...Besides one friend-shaped mushroom with no job and soon no home
>That is, if we weren't generous enough to take him with us!
>That's right, Shroombro's part of the gang!
>We manage to take our two very important claims with us out of the dungeon rather unmolested as well, leaving the way we came in since dealing with that burrowroot would've been suicide
>After that, it's a relatively uneventful walk back to camp through the forest we came there through, with Kisara holding her emotional support mushroom like Misty held Togepi in the pokemon anime
>Once we get back though, we find that time skipped again while we were down in the temple
>Eh, it's more normal now
>That, and at this point Ukri should know to hold position until we're back at camp since we've managed to come back from otherwise suicidal odds this many times so far
>After this, Vyth finally drops the news that Yusdrayl's pregnant
>She reacts positively to this news, and Kisara does so as well until it's just her and Vyth, upon which she expresses her sympathy towards him for this
>After that, everyone passes out and the session ends after a massively productive 8 hours!

A good session! We're finally done with this weird subquest and have managed to navigate one of the many apocalypses that this world will undergo, and we also got another friend out of it all! We also got chucklefuck, but again, at least he's not a physical threat. Anyway, next session the Neo-Spawncampers hit the road again and seek out a new home and likely a new tribe to absorb/absorb into! Onwards to the next tribe, untill all are one and the true fuckening can begin!
Also expect a picture of Kisara and Mini Shroombro at some point because I find the idea too cute to not put to paper
>Anyway, we end up drawing their ire and are forced to immediately retreat so that we don't immediately die
They set off AoEs targeting everyone in the room, and then escaped underground when their ally appeared and told them something.
You do not know their names.
>we get one of the faggoty elves to chaperone us to the tree's treasure room!
Effectively. The Preacher's curse caused it to mistake you for one of its followers, believing you had an offering for The Lady.
>I didn't understand the placement of the enemies well enough and thought that they were both flanking me in particular, but I'm not known for my great spatial awareness
Eh, perhaps I could have described the situation more clearly.
>popped out of thin air
His invisibility was exposed by the beetle's Glitterdust.
Kisara's Player
And here's the picture, complete with both kobold and depressed mushroom!
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I was trapped underground again in what I was sure would be my death. How does this keep happening to me? We couldn't go back with the burrowroot in the way, and we couldn't go into the shrine because it covered in a meat grinder of vines and thorns. Theoretically I could disarm it, but I had a feeling my luck was starting to run out. Any other day I'd have gladly given my life to try and save everyone else, but now I had other things to think about. Well, there was one other path we hadn't taken, and that would be going to the tree. so we went towards the tree. Squeezing through the overgrown branches and vines we could hear the sounds of fighting up ahead.

Crawling to investigate we found a large group of gnomes and spriggans and animals fighting against a smaller group of elves and twig blights. Leading the gnomish side was a group of three spriggans, each of them seemed immensely powerful. They weren't really fighting, they were showing off. We were no match for them in our current shape.

I decided to try asking one of the elves how to disable the thorny meat grinder using message, but she didn't seem very trusting of us. For a second Yusdrayl seemed angry that I could cast message, like she thought she owned the spell or something, then she decided to cast it herself to help me in pursuading the elf. To help prove that we weren't helping the gnomes, I gladly cast gnome blight into the group of spriggans and Kisara, following my lead, shot a few lightning spells, missing them completely and instead only hitting a few twig blights. This attracted their attention. We retreated a bit and hid behind some cover.

Then, what looked like a cross between a spriggan and a golem burrowed up from underground, and brought what looked like 30 gnomes with it. A moment later we were all It hit with a very powerful fire spell. It almost killed us and we ran back into the cover of vines and branches. I used the last of my useful healing spells to keep everyone alive, but we were all still half dead.

Yusdrayl and I spent a few moments trying to get one of the surviving elves to help us, and eventually one did. Well, at least I think it was an elf, or a shadow of one. Whatever it was, it was terrifying to be around. Sometimes, for a moment, the elf would turn into... something else. Sometimes bark covered flesh, sometimes something with far too many eyes seemingly staring into my soul. Regardless to say it was creepy. The elf led us back to it's study and offered us, or more specifically me, some tea. With some help, I managed to convince it that we were in a hurry. It seemed to accept this and led us through the dungeon to shrine room.

We were ambushed by skeletons, and one rebuke undead later I was in control of them. They helped when we were attacked by a group of gem scarabs, with one of them being much larger than the rest. They weren't really that hard even with us being heavily wounded. However, during the fighting I noticed something. Something that I ignored to make sure Yusdrayl was alright. But then it started laughing at us. We traded insults for a bit, but I eventually convinced it to leave us alone temporarily so we might actually survive this. While this is all going on the elf was staring off into nothingness in a room off to the side. The only thing in the room is a large tree, so I approached the elf and the tree smacked me. Hard enough to kill me, but thankfully I still had a single spell I could use to just barely keep me alive.

The elf finally snapped out of it and led us to a room to the south. It was filled with charred and broken myconid corpses, with only one survivor. It was a tiny thing trapped under a much larger corpse. Akara and I try to free it, and for our trouble we're attacked by rot grubs. We retreat and I use one of my last spells and to sicken all of us, including the rot grubs. It was too late, and Akara was infested. He would die, but using a bit more luck than I had I managed to rip out the grub burrowing underneath his scales, pull it out, and smash it underneath my foot.

After killing the swarm the elf finally pulls it's head out of it's ass and leads us to where we needed to go in the first place. The elf just walks towards the door and the vines surrounding it disappear. We enter and are expected to make a sacrifice. A crimson fruit and 'blood' of a goat. We didn't think we had any of those. Turns out 'blood' part is really just a bit of a difference in dialect, and actually meant 'essence' and someone has been eating strawberries in cream this entire time. Yusdrayl. I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.

Anyway, I did the ritual written in stone around the altar and walked into a stone. Very soon after I was violently kicked out of it with a large wooden seed in my arms. I ignored how it was pulsating and seemingly speaking to me inside my mind and shoved it in my pack. The elf was gone, and Kisara had taken possession of the myconid. We left the way we came in, through the front door. The shadow dragon thing that had been blocking it had left and we quickly scurried out of there. Kisara used a patch from her cloak to get us a ladder to climb the collapsed stairs and Akara climbed the cliff with a troll gut rope and tied it down so the rest of us could climb up and out of that damned place.

We were on guard the rest of the way back to camp. Thankfully nothing tried to kill us as we walked back. We had been gone for four days even though we only spent a few hours there. It wasn't entirely unexpected as the whole place was a temple dedicated to Chronepsis sometime in the past. I was glad to be back and immediately grabbed Yusdrayl for some nose to nose cuddling. I also told her she's pregnant. I fell asleep soon after.
That's a Dune's worm.
It's my sad attempt at drawing a rotgrub leaping at the viewer.
>I feel like something is watching me and causing a lot of these coincidences to happen.
Unironically yes, but also because I had initially intended to require you guys to perform a series of quests to discover the sacrifice components, but as I spotted that you'd entirely forgotten it early on, I figured it would be unfun to reveal it later.
Oakhurst was one of three locations where the sacrificial ingredients could be gathered. Optionally, you could have raided a nearby farm, or gathered the fruit from where it grew on a mountain. Offering an incorrect sacrifice could have been ironic and frightening with the right set-up, but only if you knew about it in the first place.
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Highlights from this week's session:

I needed more information on this "seed" I was given. It was magical and evil, I knew that much, but beyond that nobody had any idea what it was. I grabbed Kisara and temporarily rescued Akara from being bullied and set off to go ask my best friend in the whole world that's also an oread, Silitdiwerverthicha, about this seed.

We were ambushed by a couple of demons and a spriggan who had evidently summoned them. It was an easy fight, and we even came across a caravan of gnomes that had been ambushed too. We quickly killed any survivors and got to looting the remains. Unfortunately the sound of fighting had attracted a group of gnome illusionists and their force golem escort.

After a short scuffle with the gnomes Kisara cast Mass Invisibility and we all ran off, but they somehow followed us. I hit the gnomes with gnome blight while Kisara and Akara waited in ambush. As the golem approached me and I created a simulacrum of myself to confuse it. I cast Spiritual Weapon and had it attack the golem while Kisara pelted it with magic missiles. It was the only casualty of this battle as the gnomes took this opportunity to run away.

We had finally made it to Silitdiwerverthicha's stone. She didn't seem like she wanted to be disturbed, but after some convincing she finally came out to see us. Not that I needed a reason to come see my best friend, but we did have one. After a bit of explaining and she helpfully informed us that the seed could start growing at any time, and that we should take it as far away from her as possible. As an afterthought I asked her what I can do to free her from her stone in the forest and get her back to a mountain that would truly compare to her beauty.

But then there was the bitch, the fucking Dryad bitch that laughed at MY best friend. After some choice comments about how she's not guarding the forest she threw a spriggan head at me and disappeared. She even chased Silitdiwerverthicha back into her rock. What a cunt.

While I would've loved to spend all day speaking to my best friend, she didn't want to be bothered anymore so we left and headed back to the tribe. Thankfully, nothing decided to try attacking us on our way back. Kisara took Akara off to talk about something weird while I went to the meditation circle.

Yusdrayl was there, but I knew better than to interrupt someone while they're meditating. Apparently she didn't, as soon after I sat down she started bothering me about what I was doing that morning and what I was planning to do later and whatever else came to her mind. After being subtle didn't work, I told her to leave me alone for a bit and well, at least she stopped talking. Not that it really helped as I could still faintly hear Akara screaming for help. He'll get over it.

After that we came up with some plans on what to do now. We heard of three other kobold tribes in the area, one led by a madman, one near a big geode, and one much further away in the Emerald Forest. We decided that we should take the our now homeless tribe and try our luck at the geode.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just made it home from the temple and were getting preparations ready to pack up camp and head out again for the next tribe to integrate

>This time, we have some last business to get to before we completely leave the area
>In particular, we need to ask our oread friend about the seed and I need to see how best to keep a myconid happy and healthy
>Vyth and Kisara both meet up and discuss this and then decide that Akara would be useful in translating again, so we go try to find him
>When we do so, we find him in the middle of a crowd of warriors as he's raped by the chief torturer for the umpteenth time
>Sadly, we're having a harder time getting him some respect (unlike meepo, who's gotten notably higher on the totem pole thanks to his summoned shotgun being a kickass weapon)
>Probably because he still acts like a dwarf when he thinks nobody's looking
>Anyway, we drag him out of the raping and start the walk out to the oread's rock after Kisara leaves Mini Shroombro in the hands of the biggest warrior she could still beat 1v1 for protection
>While we're out, we end up finding a pair of red orcs that cause my neurons to activate
>Unfortunately, they're demons and I have now learned the hard way that demons are immune to lightning
>The spriggans on said demons' backs aren't though
>The martials kill the demons soon enough though, and we're able to continue on and find out where they came from, given they came from the direction we're heading
>A caravan of gnomes, dead and or dying, lay strewn about before us
>Vyth grabs one of the dying and tries to interrogate them about the oread's rock, not knowing that we're still a ways off
>Kisara corrects this issue by killing said gnome while Akara stands around until a certain presence arrives
>Said presence being some more gnomes and a force golem
>One of those gnomes happens to be a mage, and an illusionist at that
>He traps us in a ring of spectral assholes, but we all escape out after dealing some chip damage to him and the golem under the cover of mass invisibility
>This lets us get closer to the rock, but unfortunately we're tracked down and we have to lay an ambush for them or risk getting our asses kicked again
>Kisara hides behind a tree, Vyth creates a double with incredible efficiency and accuracy, leaving himself completely free to do whatever he wants as the golem tries to kill the fake kobold
>He makes a spiritual weapon, and Kisara sits behind the tree and launches volley after volley of magic missiles into the golem and the illusionist
>Even after the illusionist blinds and reveals Kisara with a glitterbomb, she continues pelting them both thanks to the missiles having perfect accuracy
>Anyway, Vyth hacks apart the golem while Kisara blows up the pieces and pesters the wizard until the golem's dead and the wizard decides to cut his losses
>Yay, we're now free to do what we need to here!
>The three of us together pester the oread into appearing, with Vyth casting tongues to allow himself to talk in her native languages, Akara speaks in their shared dwarven, and Kisara just talks normally because apparently the oread picked up draconic in anticipation of dealing with more kobolds or something
>Vyth leads off by showing her the seed, upon which she tactically shits herself before telling us that she doesn't actually know anything about it but still wants it the hell away from her
>Kisara then asks about how to raise a myconid, and she tells me what I anticipated: keep it dark, and keep it moist
>Duly noted, hopefully a sack with some dampened leaflitter will suffice for our travel, because otherwise I got nothing
>Akara doesn't ask anything this time, but oh well
>Also, some pissbaby dryad shows up and bullies the oread for a while with Vyth berating it while Kisara threatens to make Smoky the Bear cry by holding a charge of scorching ray in the middle of a forest for intimidation
>Unfortunately, this doesn't work
>The dryad eventually fucks off though, so for one last question, Vyth asks if there's a way for us to free the oread from her rock and allow her to claim another mountain
>She's caught offguard by the question, but is nonetheless receptive to it and tells us that she'll think about it
>With that though, we return to camp and Vyth fucks off to a meditation circle while Kisara decides now would be the right time to play a sick nasty epic prank on the chief torturer, of course using Akara as her delivery device
>He's initially adamant that he doesn't want Kisara casting any spells on him, but after she explains that the spell is just a small shock trap that won't hurt him, he remains adamant about wanting no part of this
>Aw, really?
>Well, suit yourself!
>Kisara then leaves Akara to his fate, his screaming and dwarven cursing echoing through the camp with the only response that wasn't laughing or jeering being "You could've accepted my help!"
>Kisara then meets back up with Vyth after he finishes meditating and she finishes reclaiming Shroombro (with a little violence, just to keep the fear of Kurtulmak in those she decides to have help her), and they discuss ways to get Akara to stop being the butt of every raping, and our OOC conclusion is that we should try to bring him into the clergy for a bit of deprogramming and maybe even some mental toughening
>That would require us to get the permission of the chief warrior though, who happens to be the chief torturer...
>Well, maybe we can petition Ukri for Akara's transfer and use some fancy wording to get him to endorse it?
>Idk, that's just my idea

Anyway, the session officially ended with Akara getting raped again, so the rest of it was just ooc discussion that I turned into some minor fluff. Anyway, the next session is in a few hours, and I'm only hurting myself by staying up this late! See you all then, and I'm going to resist the urge to shoot myself or something, life is pain
Highlights from today's session:
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>Where we last left off, we had just gotten back to camp from asking the oread some questions and getting some answers

>Now, we're doing some last preparations before we leave the area
>Vyth takes care of some politics determining the actual when/where/how we're going with Ukri and the other local big shots, and the answers are tomorrow, to the madbold's tribe, and by plains
>After that, we go to check on mini shroombro again to make sure that that one warrior is keeping up his end of the bargain
>As it turns out, mini shroombro isn't so mini anymore!
>He grew considerably, now being equal in size to Kisara!
>I'm a little sad that my mushroom buddy only stayed with us for around 2 sessions, but he's got his own little mushroom garden going now and he's got some parting words for us
>He thanks us for saving him and gives us some mushrooms, three each for general wellness and one more each in case we need help
>We ask where he's going now that we're parting ways again so soon, but all he says is that he's going to meet the (chief myconid, I forgot the exact term used) now that he's on his own
>Kisara then ends this goodbye with a hug to her favorite mushroom, leaving the growing puffball to his journey
>With that, the session cuts ahead to our own journey to the next tribe!
>Our first day traveling the plains was rather uneventful, with us taking the point for scouting purposes with the rest of the tribe following behind, all the way through camping when the time for rest came
>The second day is also rather uneventful, but when resting time comes we are rudely interrupted by a bunch of angry blue fuckers
>I briefly have flashbacks to the gambols in RHoD, anticipating an incredibly hard fight ahead
>I wasn't too far off the mark about the hard fight, but instead of lion monkeys spamming fear auras it's a bunch of cronenberg centaurs that hate anything arcane!
>They surround the tribe and we roll initiative, those big fuckers proving to be quite the challenge even for well over 100 kobolds working together
>Fighting in the open sucks
>They start up autistic screeching for some reason, and it somehow knocks down most of the low-level kobolds, giving me a free shot at one of the bastards charging me down
>Kisara throws an unavoidable 26-damage lightning bolt at it, but the fucker doesn't even slow down!
>Yusdrayl also does what she can to hurt it, but it just keeps coming until it finally catches us, picks us both up, and screams at us about being mages in broken common
>Also, there's a magical storm going on right now, so that's important soon
>Starting now actually, as the storm strikes the bastard currently holding Kisara and Yusdrayl, causing us both to take damage as well as him
>He's unfazed, but I'm running on fumes
>At least he only deals more than my entire health pool in nonlethal damage, meaning I'm just choked out instead of choked to death
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
>Well, not technically a dragon, which we learn after Vyth finishes picking up Kisara to get her to try to make heads or tails of it
>Turns out it's an incredibly powerful entity known as the Serpent, an arcane being with unfathomable knowledge of magic and incredible power to share
>Kisara immediately sees a handy means to her ends, and calls out to it while Vyth continues helping out the downed kobolds and bringing all those not turned to chunky salsa back from the brink of death
>The Serpent's eye shifts, alighting on Kisara as she immediately fails a will save to get sent on a Dr. Strange-esque trip across the cosmos from inside her own mind, but makes another will save to understand that this is something born of her dragon heritage and not just her gaining the Serpent's attention
>Said trip ends with her floating adrift in the deep cosmos, looking onward as an immense dragon forms itself from the stars themselves before imprinting one statement onto the infinitely smaller kobold's mind
>Kisara then snaps out of the vision and the apparent seizure she'd been having, looking up at the fading form of the Serpent as it disappears to its next destination and cries out in desperation "But how do I find the stone circle!? Please, tell me!"
>The Serpent remains silent, its words continuing to echo through Kisara's head as she wracks her mind to find a solution to this puzzle with only one piece
>She asks around to the other kobolds who were given visions and finds nothing, but Vyth has more luck from checking his schizo book!
>As it turns out, there's a myth about Kurtulmak stealing sorcery from the Serpent for koboldkind, but nothing directly mentioned about the stone circle or where it is/how to get to it
>With that, Vyth makes the executive decision to have us doubletime it through the plains to get to our next stop on the trip, a forest
>We then rest in a cave on the border between the two, and that's it for the session

All in all, a good time! I like that Kisara's finding new ways to potentially expand her power, and I like that I'm getting close to level 6! The session itself was also fun, and I enjoyed the RP that came with it and also learning about this new force to keep in mind ||and I may have also seeded an idea in the DM's mind about how to handle Kisara being apprenticed to The Serpent, given how its last apprentice was Vecna (yes, that Vecna) and it still hasn't been able to collect on that necromantic nerd's soul yet after millennia...|| But, that's for time to tell! I'll see you all next week, and I hope to find more knowledge about my quest to obtain more and more power soon enough! Until next time!

Kisara's Player
>fail spoiler
>missing name
I'm an idiot. A tired idiot, but an idiot nonetheless
Kavern Master
Me, researching every ape-like monster in 3.5e, so that I can further traumatize Kisara's player
>It's at about this point that the DM's hidden timer runs out and the encounter ends, with all the remaining unkilled blue guys dropping what they're doing (or holding, luckily for me) and get the fuck out of dodge as an enormous aurora dragon appears out of the storm in the sky above us!
Only partly true. The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything, but galloping away in utter terror. Although he was strong enough to lay waste to the entire tribe by himself, he was scared shitless by the appearance of The Serpent. Although dimwitted and primitive creatures, the quaraphons called The Serpent by it's ancient Ur'Flan name as they fled.
Kisara's Player
>The Quaraphons Bullmaster wasn't dodging anything
I didn't say he was dodging anything, I said he was getting the fuck out of dodge (AKA running away as if his life depended on it)

Off we went to find a new home. Before we left, we had to choose which path to take. After some divination magic and a vision of blue horses and a giant serpent, I determined we should go through the plains. This may not have been the safest decision, but it was one of the faster paths, taking a week rather than spending a month or two traveling.

We left after a few days. Kisara, Zags, Akara and I were scouting ahead of the main group. Everything was good for the first few days, but then we came across a series of gashes in the earth, as if something had tunneled out, killed something, then tunneled back into it. Some divination later and I'm certain that going forward would lead to our deaths and changing course would only be dangerous, so we change course to the east and continue on.

When darkness fell, we could tell something was wrong. I cast clairvoyance directly behind us just outside the range of my darkvision and saw... something. It was a blue four legged two armed... something. I couldn't get a good look at it, but I knew we were being hunted. Together we moved back to the main group. Thankfully we weren't attacked when outside the protection of the circle of spears.

Not that we had much chance to rest. There was a magic storm above when they attacked. I got a better look at them and they sure were some ugly fuckers. It seemed as if their eyes were placed randomly on their faces and they had a few too many mouths. We took a few casualties but we managed to fight them off, with only one of them roaring and putting 30 kobolds to sleep. The storm was getting worse. Yusdrayl saved us by dispelling the the strikes of the storm. We managed to kill 3 of those things when the largest among them leaped into the center of our circle. It was much more powerful than any of us. It could've killed us all, and put several kobolds to sleep with a roar, but soon after it arrived it ran away because the serpent appeared.

It appeared from the storm. While I was tending to the wounded, some koboldss tried speaking to it and immediately fell unconscious and started convulsing. Thankfully they all regained their senses within a few minutes. They all claimed to have a shared hallucination of being welcomed to a stone circle. Then as quickly as it appeared the serpent disappeared.

Many kobolds didn't survive the trip. It's my fault, as I saw the vision and decided we should go on this path anyway. I was able to save some of the more injured kobolds, but that's a small consolation for the lives I ended.

Fearing another attack from the blue things I encouraged the tribe to march without rest until we reached the end of the plains. We probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have another giant magic serpent appear from the sky to scare them away.

After another day or two of travel we finally reached the end of the plains. We found a small cave hidden away, barely big enough for all of us. We'd stay here while everyone rests. Yusdrayl seemed to be suffering from internal hemorrhaging and kobold hypothermia as a direct result. I used many spells to keep her alive. No kobold would lie about needing medical attention, would they?
>putting 30 kobolds to sleep
Correction: it didn't put them to sleep, it knocked them out with sonic damage.
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Highlights from today's session:
(don't worry; they survived, barely)
Kisara's Player
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Okay, so it's been a fat while since I've posted here. In that time, we've almost died after wandering into a dwarven nuclear dumping site, we snuck into a bar and got hammered while learning of some quest hooks, and then we rescued some halflings from our weasels after the little shits broke free and decided to do their own thing while we were getting hammered. Meanwhile, IRL I have no real excuse for forgetting to do this shit, I just legitimately forgot for a while. Anyway...

>Where we last left off, all that shit above!

>This time, we've gotten back to camp and Kisara's still a little smashed from her time at the bar, one of the weasels is still snacking on a halfling corpse, and the rest of us are fine
>Anyway, we go to report on our findings to Ukri and how there's a kobold tribe nearby that we can talk to and potentially integrate, as well as getting free booze from the bar we visited and a bunch of money from a silver skeleton we can potentially trade in for stuff
>All of this is interrupted though when a holy Aztec turducken pops in out of nowhere, presumably from one of the halflings that we let so mercifully live after all that!
>Looks like we won't make that same mistake again...
>Anyway, all of us get together to face this thing down and Vyth tries to be charitable and negotiate with it, but it chooses violence and attacks Kisara for making a comment and trying to explain our side of things better (but she was still drunk, and it came out more rude than she expected lol)
>The bird then picks her up and ragdolls her through a grapple attack while everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
>The turducken puts up a good fight through its first stage, even swallowing Kisara and causing her to have to accept her fate again, except Akara ends up coming to her rescue yet again (he was the one responsible for saving us from the TPK in the nuclear dump), imprinting him even more onto her mind than he already was
>This totally won't become a thing, will it?
>Time will tell
>Anyway, the turkey is eviscerated and the duck is up next, with the wounded Kisara fleeing to the safety of the warrior line while everyone else continues the fight
>The duck doesn't like this though and chases down the fleeing kobold until it's once again struck down by Akara, leaving only the chicken to be butchered
>With the mandatory holiday bossfight over, we get in a rest and Yusdrayl finally lays the eggs she's been carrying
>With those matters settled, we head out to go find that new tribe with the advance party of Vyth, Yusdrayl, Kisara, Meepo, Akara, and Snogla (the chief torturer of the tribe)!
>Kisara also levels up, and I handle all the numbers of that before working out the actual matters of new spells and whatnot
>We start climbing the mountain nearby that houses these kobolds, and we eventually come across some giant planar rock crabs that try to bury us under mudslides
>We don't let them, and I make the embarrassing discovery that scintillating sphere is a much higher level spell than I thought it was...
>The crabs do go down though, thanks to our efforts as well as Vyth summoning an ogre zombie to block rocks and drag us through the mud
>Akara gets swept away in the mud though, which has everybody panicking and also gives me an opportunity to choose a new spell exactly for this situation!
>The spell lets me search a 30ft. cube for things, including people, and with its help and the help of Yusdrayl blowing some levitate spells, we're able to find Akara and save him from a muddy fate!
>Anyway, we continue up the mountain and eventually come across a promising area
>Unfortunately, before we can investigate further, we're ambushed by a pair of mountain drakes (I think?)
>Anyway, one of them chunks Vyth and the other chunks Akara, and Yusdrayl and Meepo go to Vyth's rescue while Kisara and Snogla go to Akara's
>It turns out that these things are intelligent and can be reasoned with though, so Vyth trades away the corpse of the rock crab for safe passage
>They accept, and they take the crab and feed it to their young waiting nearby while we advance forward
>Of course, after heals were applied to make sure we're equipped for what may lie ahead
>And that's where the session ended

Quite a fun session, if a bit worrying because Kisara almost died again despite my best efforts... Although it is opening up new avenues of potential RP for her due to Akara being the one to save her ass twice now, but I'm still not entirely sure what direction I'd want to take that (either some form of romance or a possessive dependence, I'm not sure which would be better and/or more fun). Either way though, it seems that this ambitious mage is now at odds with the tribe's head martial for the attention of a kobold that thinks himself a dwarf ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>everyone else similarly acknowledges that violence is the only answer here
Kisara's Player
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>Where we left off, we were just a short distance from the place we needed to be and the session ended with us somewhere near the bar

>Now, we're at the bar and we see a group of adventurers chilling near the door
>Simple enough to avoid, just move quietly and stay hidden
>...Except some of us decided that it would be a good idea to dig through the local trash, and we had to hold back a certain toad-shaped kobold from going and giving us away in the dumbest way possible
>Said stupid decision still manages to alert someone to our presence, but those who are alerted are a pair of kobolds already occupying the trash pile
>These kobolds are scrawny and emaciated but otherwise healthy, contrary to us being stout and strong despite being covered in mud/blood
>We get a dialogue going, and it turns out that these guys are from the tribe in the well and after Vyth shares some of our rations with them, we're allowed to follow them in
>When we get in, there's a severely drained lake at the bottom of this well and a few kobolds on the far shore trying to fish from it
>Also, the only way further in from the well is to go across on a tiny boat that only fits its driver and one passenger
>This is stupid slow, so I start brainstorming faster ways across and settle on making my newest level 2 spell the levitate spell
>Said ingenuity is then punished when, as Kisara tries to cross the lake, she gets grabbed by two chokers that were hiding in the water
>She gets dragged under and nearly dies again through a combat encounter that was mostly just struggling to escape on my end, and Akara comes to her rescue yet again
>While down there, we also get told that the bottom of the lake is littered with bones, many of which look like kobold bones
>This fight ends without Kisara actually dying, which is good
>We then take a hot second to regroup and heal up the two kobolds who entered the water, with Kisara then attempting her journey across the lake again
>It was 35 feet across, one set of two humanoid monsters should be plenty of fight to put in a place like this, especially when it's very easy for said monsters to abuse one of 3.5's most busted mechanics to kill us quickly, right?
>Wrong, round fucking 2!
>Two more grab both Kisara and Akara, and it's up to Vyth to help drag us out of the water with the NPCs providing limited help
>Kisara actually starts making death saves at this point, and I start brainstorming how to make the most overpowered character I can to make sure nothing like this happens again, but luckily this isn't the time for that to happen yet
>The monsters are killed and we swim to the far shore without incurring the wrath of the third (third!) set of these fucking things, and we then start talking with the kobolds there (after everybody's given the bare minimum of healing as Vyth's already out of healing spells, fucking hell)
>Turns out that this lake is their only food source and the chokers in there are the brilliant idea of some trapmaker, someone who undoubtedly isn't nearly as brilliant as everyone seems to think
>We also find another schizo journal with a small detour, this one belonging to this tribe's leader, that does all sorts of shit to sing praise towards aberrations and whatnot
>This must be the tribe of the mad kobold listed in Wivai's journal
>Fun, now we're adopted into some lovecraft-esque plot revolving around a kobold fishing town and their leader gone mad!
>That's not even a sarcastic fun, I'm looking forward to learning more about this all
>Anyway, some other information is gleaned from Akara talking to some dwarven statues nearby (as this place used to be a dwarven reservoir), and learning that the silver skeleton, one of our objectives here, is actually nearby
>Some of the kobolds also tell us that they think it's responsible for the drought and food shortage, but I put forth the idea that the well's use by the inn alongside the kobolds' exploitation may be responsible for the drained water level while the chokers within were responsible for the waning number of fish within the lake
>My idea is swept under the rug though, probably to maintain intrigue for the actual plot the DM has in mind
>After this, the actual session ends with us deciding to go talk to the chieftain here before doing anything else
>However, there's some text-based RP afterwards involving some more information harvesting from the kobolds with us, Yusdrayl being a spoiled brat and begging Vyth to carry her since Akara was forced to carry Snogla after Kisara decided to lean on him for support and the self-appointed princess getting pissy that she wasn't getting attention
>The Kisara-Akara-Snogla subplot evolves into an argument, and said argument results in Kisara being knocked out by Snogla to nobody's surprise or enjoyment

Now, onto my thoughts on the session in general: I'm not happy about the large pile of chokers, one set was enough, the second was excessive and even the potential for a third was entirely unnecessary IMO. Grappling is very strong, and I've already made my thoughts on anything that limits the players' ability to effectively fight back known in a prior post regarding a certain dragon fight, so I won't go back into my ramblings again. That's my only real grievance though, the rest was all fun and cool and I'm looking forward to settling this newfound rivalry between the tribe's best warrior and the tribe's best mage, and I know for a fact that Kisara is absolutely going to find a way to get back at Snogla for this newest wound to her pride. Maybe if a certain persistent ghost is still around somewhere and wasn't just a one-and-done like was implied, that could be helpful? What I'm suggesting is the return of Chucklefuck at some point, he seemed like he would've been a fun NPC to interact with. Anyway, next session is when things unfold further, and I look forward to seeing it! Until then!
Kisara's Player
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>Where we last left off, Kisara was out cold and I was plotting my next move to gain a monopoly on Akara while the party in general were moving to talk with Chief Blas of this tribe

>Kisara is reawakened, and we finally make it to the throne room where Blas is located
>Blas is definitely a well-fed kobold, but not to a degree that he's eating the tribe's food supply
>Anyway, the introduction goes smoothly with Kisara and Vyth doing most of the talking while Yusdrayl butts in to inflate her own ego
>Blas seems to be acting a bit weird though, as his eyes tend to unfocus and stare off randomly at times
>We get through the introductions well enough though, we explain why we're there, who we are, where we're from, and all that
>The introductions end a bit suddenly though when we mention something that trips something in his distracted mind, causing him to space out again and then tell us to go talk to Trapmaster Yin
>Finally, time to air out my grievances with this bastard!
>We go off through the dungeon to meet this guy, first going through a door that was supposed to turn us into kobolds!
>Oh no! Anyway...
>We keep moving into the kitchen area where some kobold chefs are making sushi with rotten fish and maggots, and Yusdrayl stops to eat some for some odd reason
>The rest of us move forward though and find a monster in the trash!
>It's dispatched within a round though thanks to a lucky crit, and it retreats back into the trash pile to lick its wounds
>Up next is a door shaped to look like a beholder, and there's a puzzle associated with it
>Something something number of eyes is the key
>Vyth's player and I both come to the conclusion that the answer is the number 11, so Kisara says that out loud
>Nothing happens though, and we're completely stumped
>Vyth then approaches the door to see if we weren't in detection range, but when he gets close he's hit by a beholder eye ray and... something happens
>I don't quite remember, but that makes us all just stay away from the door and, seeing as how we're not playing along, the DM throws us a bone
>Turns out the puzzle requires 11 separate gems to open, and we have just a few gems in total, all functioning as money
>That's not gonna work, and since he also knows that A) we're not going to really bother with looking for them since they're scattered around the area and guarded by more monsters that we've already fought and disliked fighting, and B) Yusdrayl holds on to all sorts of shinies like that for fun, he just handwaves the puzzle
>Just in time too, since if someone had approached the door a second time with a wrong answer they would've been hit with a disintegration beam!
>Which would've killed any of us
>Yeah, glad that got handwaved
>Anyway, we're on to the actual room that Yin's in
>When we get in there, we see a bunch of refuse around and a bunch of papers flitting around in a dust devil
>Also, there's a platform really high up that we assume Yin's on
>Vyth calls up to him to come down since we've been told to talk with him, but we get no answer
>We also notice a ticking sound start up, and upon closer inspection it seems to be coming from some clockwork construct on the other side of the room
>We collectively decide to get the fuck out of dodge at this point, and right before we do so Vyth plants a scrying sensor in the room
>We return to Blas and report that we didn't talk to Yin, but we'll try again after we're allowed a rest
>During that rest, we learn that the mechanical ticking was caused by a clockwork tarrasque
>Said clockwork tarrasque also got in a fight with the dust devil, which turned out to be a sentient spell, but we aren't informed of the winner
>Also, what we assume to be Yin is a veiled kobold-shaped corpse with a silver mindflayer mask
>We then take that rest actually, and when we're properly refreshed, we go back to take care of things
>We head back to Yin's room and decide to grapple our way up to the platform, but the dust devil comes back changed
>Turns out the two didn't actually fight so much as fuse, and now the sentient spell can attack like the clockwork tarrasque
>So now we've got a biting tornado that can't be hurt by anything nonmagical
>Looks like Snogla's sitting out this fight
>The rest of us pull our weight fighting this thing though, and it's a decently hard fight
>We do manage to kill it though, and after that we're free to get to Yin
>He doesn't react at all when we get up there, so we detect magic and when that does nothing, call out to him
>That does nothing either, so Vyth pokes him with the butt of his spear to see if he reacts
>He doesn't, so we decide it's safe to approach him
>Turns out it wasn't, and this guy immediately reanimates and fear-auras us
>All of us but Akara is feared, and he's left to face an actual fucking mummy alone
>He doesn't fare well at all, but we're able to save him from dying by groveling hard enough to get Yin to only throw us off the platform instead of kill us all
>We then scurry back to Blas, just to tell him that Yin told us to fuck off
>He doesn't really react to this, but we do have one thing left for us to do here so we take another rest and get back some of our resources
>Now that that's over, we go off to find the silver skeleton!
>Some kobolds lead us back to the area where it's located and open the door for us, but when we're all inside it then closes on us
>Those bastards intend to sacrifice us!
>Greater men have tried to kill us and failed, we're not dying in some backwater hole today!
>The room then starts to flood with water, so Kisara and Akara start trying to break open the door, but Vyth and the others start moving forward so I'm outvoted
>We then move forward until we find a secret door which leads us to the trap's mechanism, which is defused to stop the water from rising further
>That's good at least, but now we have a hallway full of mindflayer pictures to walk through
>It's also trapped to shit though, so that's an issue
Kisara's Player
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>We do what we can to defuse the traps, but a few of them are set off and cause immobility and/or paralysis for those who are hit by them
>A pair of oozes also choose now to show up and start trying to kill us, so that's cool?
>Oh well, the oozes are definitely challenging but don't manage to kill any of us before we finish dealing with them
>We then are left alone with the silver skeleton, which starts to regenerate for some reason
>Yeah, fuck that
>Kisara grabs Akara and drags him back to the door to start getting it open again, but we stop when we hear some civilized discussion coming from where Vyth is with everyone else to go investigate
>Turns out the skeleton regenerated into Eludecia, another one of those WotC-sanctioned waifu characters that the writers try to get you hot and bothered over
>Anyway, she's a risen devil of a succubus turned paladin and was trapped in here by her last boss who had her imprisoned with those two oozes to keep her dissolved down to a skeleton but never fully kill her
>She's also very surprised that her rescue party happened to be a group of kobolds, but she's not disappointed about it
>And the session ends there!

Another fun one, though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for. Anyway, our plan for the next session is to take Eludecia back to the tavern nearby so that we can sweeten our end of the deal for negotiations regarding the kobolds' food situation, and we also plan on getting her help with killing Yin and freeing the tribe from his abhorrent influence. Whether or not that'll happen is another question entirely, but I do hope that she realizes we're trying to do the right thing and looks past our species' negative stereotypes to help us with this problem. Either way though, we'll only find out next session, so I'll see you there!
Thank you for sharing!
>sushi with rotten fish and maggots
Every Japanese kobold out there will want to Pearl Harbor you now
>clockwork tarrasque
The DnD equivalent of Metal Gear to the uninitiated
>though demons being immune to lightning still kind of confuses me and it really trips me up whenever something is also part demonic, though I guess that's what template stacking is for
Gelatinous Cubes are just normally immune to electricity.
Kisara's Player
I called them gelatinous cubes by accident, I was corrected into calling them oozes. They also dealt vile damage to us, so it was literally oozes with the demon template applied. I don't know what else to say.
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Highlights from some previous sessions
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we had just revived a paladin succubus named Eludecia and we were going out to hand her over to the inn nearby

>So, our first order of business for the session was using Eludecia as a bargaining chip to improve the standings of the kobold tribe we met here
>Eludecia polymorphs into a kobold herself to better blend in as we head to the surface
>We climb back out of the well shortly after, getting no trouble from the chokers this time
>When we get there, we hear some adventurers shouting about how the kobolds are back and that they're going to shoo us off or something
>Little do they know, we're too stupid to be shooed!
>Also we have a purpose here, but whatever
>Anyway, the adventurers show up and they're mad at us for whatever reason, but Eludecia drops the polymorph and their tune very quickly changes
>They then escort us inside, simultaneously ecstatic that Eludecia's back and flabbergasted that it was kobolds that did it
>Either way though, we're welcomed back to a hero's welcome and the entire inn is brought into a celebratory mood as adventurers line up to get her autograph and whatnot
>Meanwhile, we ask around about a few things and learn nothing too interesting before we get back to the innkeeper
>He's not too happy to have to negotiate with us about giving the kobolds food instead of beer, but we're insistent
>We do come to a deal though, with us having to go get back a pair of gauntlets for Eludecia that let her safely wield holy weapons, but to do so we need to get past Yin the mummy
>That's probably gonna kill us, so we're putting it on the back burner for now (or until we get a way to deal with Yin, which seems to be not too easy)
>We decide that it would probably be a good idea to hire one of the adventurers, specifically a cleric or paladin, to help us out, but we have no real funds to work with, sadly...
>But hey, that cloaked stranger is calling us over again!
>10,000 GP to bring back the gloves? Why, that's enough to cover the mercenary's pay and also get a pretty penny of our own!
>But this seems a bit fishy still, so we decide to question the figure on her relation to Eludecia
>The figure says she's a friend of her boyfriend, but that's still kinda sketchy since she tried to pass off a goosefeather as an angel feather when Vyth is wearing three of those alone on his helmet...
>Yeah, this is definitely suspicious, so we call over Eludecia from her mountain of simps to validate this stranger's claims
>This turns out to not have been a good idea though, as the two immediately recognize each other and the cloak comes off, revealing an enormous 6-armed lamia demon!
>The entire inn goes from business as usual to a barfight turned Armageddon as the demon summons a few piles of other demons while all the adventurers collectively roll initiative, and we're left in a situation where we're heavily outnumbered and outgunned
>So, we do what any sensible kobold would do, and get the fuck out of there!
>A few demons pursue us out, but we kill them easy enough and run all the way back to the well
>We get in and manage to pay off the chokers since we're in a hurry, and as thanks(?) they tear apart the first demon to fall into the well behind us while we run back to the tribe here
>We need to evacuate this place, Ragnarok is happening above us and even the damn mountain we're inside is shaking!
>We make it back to the tribe's living area and head inside, but the instant we do we're caught in another fear aura
>Yin's here
>Yin's here and he's got every kobold in the tribe either groveling in fear in front of him or mind-controlled to take up arms against any who aren't
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK
>We're now being surrounded by Yin's mind-controlled servants, and he wants us to stay here and wait for someone outside the area
>He's waiting for the snake bitch, isn't he?
>Well, we know that if she gets here we're dead for selling her out, but we also can't fight our way back out through the entire tribe of kobolds plus whatever nasties Yin has left for us
>Our only way out is to somehow bullshit him into letting us go
>We attempt to bribe Yin with the prospects of us all going back to the tribe we're from to bring them here too, and Kisara and Yusdrayl both get down in the most grovel-y position they can think of, and I pop my Io medallion to get an extra +4 to my already high bluff of +17 to get +21
>Even with this, the DM informs me that there's only a 5% chance that he'll actually let all of us go to do this instead of keeping one of us for collateral
>Oh well, it's do or die time!
>Specifically die time, as it's time to roll the die and see what happens
>Natural twenty for a grand total of 41 on the bluff check
>I, the person typing this, actually screamed when I saw the result
>Kisara, however, was as silent as possible when she grabbed everyone and started pushing them back out of the room as soon as Yin said "yeah, sure, I don't really care about you all anyway, just go."
>Now, all that's left to do is decide where the hell we want to leave from since this tribe's obviously beyond our help
>In fact, they may have been better off had we not actually bothered with them...
>That's not our problem anymore though, our problem is surviving this shitstorm long enough to get back to the Neo Spawncampers and leave for good
>And we decide to do so by heading through the dwarven temple nearby!

Next session, we explore the monastery and temple for a way out, and if we find it, go back to our tribe the long way to make sure there aren't any more demons on our asses! I hope we aren't as fucked as my gut says, because if we are then that'll be one hell of a shitty way to go out! Anyway, see you all on Sunday for the next installment of Kaverns and Kobolds!
>Where we last left off, we were fleeing from Yin and a very large tavern brawl in the direction of an abandoned monastery

>This time, we start off on that journey upstream after sorting out some miscommunications about where we were going and what we were doing
>Said sorting out takes us a while, but once we get going we start feeling a bit safer
>Well, until Yusdrayl decides to alter-form herself and go off ahead to scout for us, upon which we waited with bated breath for around an in-game hour until she returns some time around there
>Turns out there's a drier spot ahead that we can traverse easier without needing to levitate or use a boat, but there's shit over there that could be trouble
>However, it's around this time that we collectively realize that all the noise outside has calmed down significantly
>So, we now drag the fatigued Yusdrayl back to shore and start doing other shit while Vyth goes up the ladder under invis to see what's left
>Turns out not much
>The inn's been pretty much destroyed from all the spells going off inside it, the majority of the adventurers are dead, and both Eludecia and the horde of demons are nowhere to be found
>A little ominous, perhaps we could get more info later?
>Anyway, Vyth finishes his reconnaissance and comes back down the well, and the first thing he sees is a choker drag Snogla underwater!
>Before we go further though, I'm going to rewind back to before the party split
>Down back in the dungeon, the remaining party decides to kill time by doing miscellaneous shit
>Yusdrayl decides to complain as she always does, Akara stands around and keeps watch in case anything goes down (or just stands there and zones, I certainly wouldn't blame him for doing so), Snogla goes around and loots whatever she can from the various traps and implements in the reservoir, and Kisara looks for something useful to do
>I initially wanted to go up with Vyth, but one kobold is a lot harder to find than two, so she's stuck down in the hole with everyone else
>I look around for something to do, and with no other suggestions, Kisara gets a taunt from Snogla to disarm an aboleth trap
>I decide to try to turn her taunting around, since she's closer to the trap than Kisara, and she goes to a fairly large distance away before picking up a large rock and using Launch Item to throw it at the trap to either break the mechanism or trigger it "safely"
>This, however, doesn't work and Kisara is hit with a spell that, with metagaming knowledge, works like aboleth slime albeit much slower
>Kisara then starts to feel cold and clammy and gross, so she then gets in the water while Snogla starts to laugh at her for this completely unforeseen eventuality
>I'm not even sure why it targeted me, I was supposed to be a ways off with Snogla somewhere in between me and the device, but I guess that got lost in translation somewhere...
>Oh well, my pettiness knows no limits!
>While the stuck-up bitch is laughing, Kisara beckons over one of the chokers from the bottom of the lake and covertly tells it to drag Snogla underwater
>To sweeten the deal, I also cross Kisara's favorite pimp chalice off my item list as a bribe
>This had better work the way I want it to...
>The choker then does as I asked, but since Snogla was paying enough attention to continue laughing at Kisara, the choker doesn't get a surprise round to drag her under
>It still goes first though, and it does exactly as I asked
>Unfortunately, this is also when Vyth came back, and he leads the charge into the water to save her, followed by Akara and Yusdrayl after everybody rolls initiative
>Kisara spends the first round doing her own thing and sitting on the sidelines, but thaat changes as soon as Akara gets grappled and starts to get close to death himself
>Vyth also gets into some decent trouble, but Yusdrayl is good at helping him out
>The chokers are driven back though, and everyone is freed
>Akara gets up to the surface to breathe, Vyth is released, and everyone but Snogla is out of the fight
>Vyth doesn't accept that as good enough though, and dives back down to help her
>This gets him grabbed by another choker though, so the fight's back on!
>Akara also goes back down again, and he gets grabbed too
>Well, fuck
>It gets back around to my turn, and at this point I, the person, was trying to bargain with the DM to let me press the "fuck go back" button
>However, he does cut me a deal and lets me cast magic missile with absolute certainty that it would deal with the chokers currently fucking with us still, and that everyone in combat would drift to shore in exchange for an action point
>I take this deal, and everyone drifts back up to the beach unconscious, but just barely alive
>I'm also left pretty much to my own devices here, since Yusdrayl went from fatigued to exhausted and literally cannot stop me from doing what I want for this moment
>Kisara contemplates finishing the murder she started to get her money's worth from this encounter, and I even ask whether or not Yusdrayl's in any condition to be bargained with to potentially buy her silence
>Unfortunately though, I only have one turn before everyone has to start making fortitude saves, I'm forced to borrow Akara's healing belt and bring back Vyth so he can help me un-fuck all that has been fucked
>He immediately gets up and starts burning his hidden reserve of healing spells to fix everybody (unfortunately for my master plans), and a collective decision is made that the chokers need to go
>I end up jumping the gun on this somewhat though, almost casting scintillating sphere on the water that we're still pretty much touching and are still very wet from and only get stopped after I am informed that we aren't actually completely out of the water yet
>So then we move downstream a safe distance, and I fire off two spheres and kill basically everything in the pond without us having to get into any danger from any of these assholes

>We then wade back to the well entrance, deciding it's finally time to bid this hole and every godforsaken creature in it good riddance
>Except one choker of the eight managed to survive on one HP and it leaps out of the water to try to revenge kill the mage who just slaughtered the rest of its misbegotten kind
>Said mage happens to be me...
>We got into this hole with Kisara almost dying to a choker, time to leave this hole either dead or almost dead!
>It drags her underwater and goes for blood, immediately getting rid of half my health in that surprise round plus the round that it got at the top of initiative
>Next up is Snogla, who decides to not get in and kill the barely still living choker for some reason
>Understandable all things considered, but still not cool
>Luckily, she's still saddled with doing something to be useful as she's forced to keep the still immobile Yusdrayl from drowning while Vyth and Akara go down to deal with the problem
>I also try to help deal with the problem first so all they have to do is pull me out of the water, but unfortunately I'm not able to secure the kill despite my best efforts and wasted action points
>The monster is killed though after reducing me to below 0HP and forcing multiple fortitude saves from me and also trying to choke out Vyth, but he grabs the killing blow through all that and he makes it back up to the surface with Akara once again rescuing our little white and blue psychopath
>And now, with that over, the new priority is getting some help to reverse the aboleth slime effect so Kisara doesn't get stuck with its debilitating side effects for the rest of her life
>Luckily, of the remaining adventurers that survived, one was a winged unicorn paladin (read: DnD-sanctioned Celestia) dishing out whatever healing she could to everyone still alive, and she was able to spare a charge of remove disease to save a kobold from a horrible life and maybe even death
>From there, I found the owner of the inn and gave him my 1000gp diamond which I had planned to bribe Yusdrayl with earlier to put towards rebuilding, but turns out he was planning to leave the area anyway
>Understandable, witnessing a holy war happen within one's place of employment is a few levels over next-level fucked up
>Oh well, it's still something to make up for whatever part we may have played in the damages caused
>After that, we basically set up camp for the night and end the session there!

Another fun session! Well, in between the choker shenanigans and failed pranks turned unsuccessful attempts at murder, at least. I'm not sure what direction the rivalry between Kisara and Snogla will go in now, but I know that murder's probably not off the table now, so I should probably find a way to act before the dice decide that Kisara's no longer fit for this world... However, there's time between then and now, so I'll use this week's holiday hiatus to plan my next course of action! See you all in two weeks!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
This sounds awesome, are you still playing? I'd love to join, but the discord links are dead. The Horseplay Westmarches sounsd awesome!
Yeh, we're still playing. We just haven't in a while because holidays.
The westmarches project has been delayed due to life issues, but the more people we get actually working on it, the faster it will manifest.
New link:
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we were camped out next to the smoldering wreckage of the inn

>In between sessions, RP happened that resulted in the area being attacked by ogres and Kisara was kind of the cause, so we had enough advance warning to cheese it back to the tribe
>When we get back, we find that they actually had held position for us and we gladly re-integrate ourselves while telling Ukri that the entire tribe we just came from is a no-go-zone until further notice
>He accepts this, and the tribe gets moving again while the distant sounds of battle echo across the forrested hills and we progress forwards towards the great geode
>Along the way, we make it a decent distance when we find a large pile of gnomish footprints
>The rest of the tribe holds position while we lead an advance party out to ambush these fuckers further up the road, and we set up a very large pit trap to catch them offguard
>The trap is constructed and we lay in wait on both sides of the road, hoping to catch these bastards unaware
>Soon enough, the gnomes trundle on by as we expected and a bunch of them fall into the pit trap, upon which we push a big fucking rock we found in on top of them!
>That's a bunch more gnomes added to the killcount!
>Now, the rest of them start to organize an actual fighting force to try to repel our surprise attack while we pick them off rapidly
>Kisara in particular fries 16 of the squishier ones with a single lightning bolt, but they weren't actual warriors so it wasn't that helpful in the grand scheme
>It did hit three actual soldiers though, so that was cool!
>Also, one of the gnomes is a cleric and he summons a gold-eating 8-legged badger to start defending the rest of the gnomes and terrorizing our weasel riders
>it proves to be incredibly stubborn, but it doesn't really threaten us
>No, what threatens us is the lieutenant scout that impales Kisara with an arrow before charging into melee with Vyth
>She puts up a fight, but eventually her and the rest of the fighting gnomes are downed
>...Except the cleric, who has vanished
>All of the gnomes in a radius suddenly get up and start trying to flee though, so we know the cleric's somewhere
>I try to nail down exactly where through a scintillating sphere, but turns out he's got a spell up that prevents people from targeting him with attacks
>Dang, that's real soft
>So Kisara calls him a pussy and demands that he show himself, upon which the dumbass yells out a stupid but useful "fuck you" and tells us exactly where he is
>He then just decides to double down and throw an attack at Vyth since he's already blown his cover, and then gets on the gold badger and fucks off with the rest of the escaped gnomes
>However, before one can escape, Vyth hold-persons him and we take him prisoner!
>All the corpses are looted and investigated, and it turns out that a bunch of them were actually wax golems
>Damn, that means that we only killed about half the gnomes we thought we did
>Oh well
>We drag the gnome back to the tribe and start torturing him, and we eventually get a lot out of him
>They were heading to the great geode themselves, hoping to drive out a population of gnolls and set up a mining outpost there, which is what the golems were for
>He was also nice enough to point out the location of where the escapees would retreat to, so we have the locations of a few nearby cities on the map and a newly added gnomish city as well!
>As a reward for being so helpful, he's sacrificed in the name of Kurtulmak since it was that time of the month
>And that's where the session ended

Another fun one, if a bit short. Next session we should be close to the Great Geode so we can take it over with our superior numbers and superior draconic blood, but in the event that there's more along the road to see, then I'll bring news of that as well! Also, the session may be postponed for Little Trouble in Big Absalom, a PF2e oneshot designed around a bunch of level 1 kobolds having fun in the city if anyone wants to join. Either you can make a character yourself, or you can use one of the premade characters to live out the same kinds of wacky shenanigans we get up to here, just hit up the invite link in >>166423 !
Kisara's Player
166737 166766
>Where we left off, we had just sacrificed a gnome that we captured and prepared to enter the gnolls' territory to purge them from it

>Now, we gather our party of Akara, Meepo, Zags, Vyth and Kisara to go out into the territory and scout it out
>We grab some weasels and head down the road, eventually stopping when we hear a bunch of yipping in draconic
>Said yipping is what appears to be a bunch of kobolds calling for help, but it's obvious that this is a trap
>However, we're not going to get rid of all the gnolls without springing this trap, so we get ready and move in
>Turns out all the kobolds were actually reanimated corpses and the actual calling was coming from a bunch of gnolls with weird mounts that look like night stalkers from Fallout New Vegas, which then charge down the cliff this was all happening near to start a fight with us
>We fight as hard as we can, but there were too many enemies that were probably too much for us to handle even with perfect rolls, so we get forcible bad-ended
>We're then thrown into the gnolls' encampment within the geode, where we're then summarily whipped by another asshole capable of dealing negative levels
>J o y
>We're whipped back down to level 1 equivalent, and sent to work in the mines with some other kobolds who were from the OG Spawncampers
>Turns out they've been broken pretty hard from this, and even those who were previously some of the best soldiers the tribe had to offer are little more than level 1 fodder
>It's at this point that I've mentally given up
>Anyway, the session ends shortly after or something, I spent my time in the rest of the session debating whether or not I wanted to continue playing

This was definitely one of the DnD sessions of all time. After the session, we were informed OOC that the save would be easy to beat as we would only have to roll above an 8, however with the negative levels applied, I have a fortitude modifier of -1. I have as much chance to make the save as I do to fail it, and I have to do this 5 times in a row. I'm absolutely losing at least one level from this, and given how I haven't yet recovered from my last lost level 7 MONTHS AGO despite supposedly getting more XP than everyone else for being a lower level, so I know for a fact that I'm not going to be able to recover from this in a meaningful way. In other news, Vyth's player was brainstorming some potential ways to get us out of this, but I didn't really add much since I had other thoughts on my mind. Anyway, next session's tomorrow, so we'll see what happens...
this made my balls hurt
>Where we left off 3 weeks ago, we were up shit creek with a paddle nowhere in sight with Vyth's player trying to find a way out while I contemplated finding something else to do with my sundays

>So we're still stuck in the gnolls' prison where we're forced to labor in a mine
>Nothing really happens for the first hour-ish of the session that I remember, but eventually we're given the opportunity to mess with the dragon that the gnolls have
>I volunteer to help entertain it, and in the process start putting a seed in its mind to betray its current master for a better deal while Vyth pays attention to a gnoll fucking around with his pit of holding that has all of his stuff in it
>From here, the session meanders through RP through most of it with the one notable thing being that despite taking a -5 to everything, Kisara still has a mindbending +12 to her bluff that lets us navigate these social encounters well enough
>We're eventually shoved back into gay baby jail by the gnolls though, where we're left to our own devices and Vyth gets ready to execute his own plan
>Before that though, some gnolls leave the cave and get into a scuffle outside
>After some more buildup, we find that the party advancing on the gnolls is Yusdrayl and a rescue party!
>Good, we have a way out, now we just need to know if at least Vyth keeps all of his levels
>After some negotiations, the DM lets us roll our saves early, and after some action point usage and reroll spending we both manage to make them all!

And that's where things ended for that session, we're going into the next one right now so I'll get back to you on that one in a hit minute, but so far my urge to commit disconnect have been pushed back into submission. Let's hope that doesn't change this session!
>Where we last left off, Yusdrayl just arrived with the cavalry to break us out!

>A fight breaks out, with a mob of kobolds swamping the gnolls guarding the room
>Kisara throws her mushroom and it starts growing rapidly before she casts mage armor on herself, Vyth crafts a makeshift holy symbol out of a rock, some cloth, and his own blood, and Akara snaps his manacles immediately
>The gnolls finally organize and start pushing back, but Yusdrayl stuns them again and, after gettign Akara's help to break the manacles, Kisara throws a lightning ball into the back of the gnolls for big money, Vyth summons an ogre zombie, and my mushroom finishes growing into a huge beef monster and begins inflicting looney tunes levels of ultraviolence upon any gnolls in its vicinity
>And this is how it goes, the kobolds and gnolls crash into each other while Kisara hammers them from behind with big DPS, Vyth directs his ogre to harrass valuable targets, and the mushroom and akara hammer anything close to them for big damage
>This gets interrupted when a bunch of gnolls decide they want to kill us, so Kisara shoots off a lightning bolt while the kobolds in gay baby jail distract it for a hot second
>The fight then evolves into the gnolls chasing the kobolds aorund the room, with Kisara firing off her last level 3 spell into the crowd of gnolls to bring them down to the size of the kobold mob, while the mushroom forms a one-myconid mosh pit in the pool in the middle of the room with anything stupid enough to get close to it
>The gnolls decide that enough is enough though, and group up on the far side of the room in preparation for a charge which gives us one turn to do something
>I ask what happens when you get to a second point of exhaustion, and it turns out that in Kisara's case, she gets immobilized from going to 0 strength
>Duly noted, good thing Akara's here with the strength necessary to carry a kobold!
>So Kisara digs deep, braces herself against Akara both physically and mentally, and fires off one final sphere into the pool as the gnolls push forward
>The entire charge is neutralized as all but the strongest gnolls are instantly killed, with the remaining gnolls fleeing the scene shortly after
>We celebrate and Kisara slumps over, Akara catching her as he was instructed to do, and the kobolds start to celebrate
>However, the celebration is short lived as the pool of ash and gore begins to clear as all the detritus clumps together and re-amalgamates into something that we learn is a half-troll, half golem monster!
>And that's the cliffhanger we're left on

Back to some action for this session, and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel finally! We were also given enough XP to level up for this upcoming superboss, which will give us some notable buffs where we need them, and even some new spells to play around with and see the effects of in action! Anyway, I'll see you all then!
Kisara's Player
Just realized I've been posting "anonymously" again, whoops! Anyway...
>Where we last left off, all the gnoll corpses that we had just finished pulverizing alongside some trolls that were unlucky enough to get caught in a spell get amalgamated together into one half-crystal troll and half-glass golem that appears partially demonic

>So everyone starts freaking out except Vyth and Kisara, who have players who are instead rolling every dice they can think of to learn as much about this thing as we can
>We learn a lot, but the one thing we learn that's the most important is that A: it counts as having armor from all the armor chunks that got amalgamated into it, and B: it's only damaged by sonic damage
>Good to know, who here can deal sonic damage?
>Just me then, hoo boy...
>So yeah, everyone else is relegated to support as Kisara, with all of her returned spell slots and no longer being exhausted, is forced to hard-carry the fight
>Well, now that all of the planning's out of the way, the troll begins marching its way towards the gnolls' nursery section
>Wait what?
>Because it opens its meatgrinder of a mouth and eats the last remaining gnoll who was protecting the pups before starting to eat the pups
>It also starts growing with each thing it consumes, so Kisara scintillating spheres the remaining gnolls to make this thing stop absorbing their power
>Unfortunately, this makes it turn towards us and it's pissed
>And some gnomes are here too, it's more of those urdlen fuckers
>Vyth directs his ogre zombie to obliterate one of the gnomes, but the others still manage to get away with buffing the giga troll
>By now it's damn near the size of a house and is coming at us with malicious intent, but luckily Saitama the mushroom comes over and starts dueling this thing in melee, grappling it to stop it from actually doing anything and beating it as hard as his fungus bulk will let him
>This helps us greatly, but one of the gnomes then throws down darkness, meaning we have to retreat back to see anywhere
>Since Kisara's stunned from the effect of Born of Three Thunders at this time, Akara drags her out of the area and back to a more defensible position
>The next turn rolls around and we still hear Saitama and the troll duking it out, but we no longer hear the shitting and giggling of the gnomes, so that's good
>Anyway, I have a level 4 spell that I want to use to help stun this big fucker, so I launch off another 3-thunders spell, this time a full-blown electric orb that'll keep him entangled for a turn
>The DM makes me roll a d100 to see if I hit through the darkness, if it's <50 I hit
>It's a 1
>He counts that as a crit, so my subsequent nat 1 (modified 10) on my roll to hit is ignored and my 35 damage is doubled to 70 as blue lightning gives us a flash of the troll's silhouette being beat on by Saitama's silhouette
>Very cool, and meanwhile Vyth has now picked up Yusdrayl so she dispels the darkness for us!
>Right on time for the troll to push out into the main room again, but Akara carries Kisara back again and Saitama manages to reign in the troll again in the pond in the middle
>Saitama then forces the troll's head underwater, upon which the DM tells us that it's possible to drown a troll after some prompting
>A nice backup plan now that we know only Kisara can actually hurt this thing
>Vyth also takes this opportunity to conk it with a rock which helps Saitama keep it pinned, iirc
>Kisara hits it again, Saitama keeps it pinned in the water, and Vyth grows stalagmites around it to lock it into a cage, but the troll can bite through the stone easily so it's still very dangerous
>Akara, the little badass he is though, ignores this and manages to duck and weave around the troll enough to enter the thunderdome himself
>I should also mention by now that we learned that this thing has an effective self-destruct button we can push as we can activate its death throes ability early, this comes in handy in a minute
>This next turn is more of the same as Kisara recovers from another 3 Thunders daze, with Saitama and Akara terrorizing the troll as it tries to bite through its prison
>And now, the fateful moment!
>I call for a clearing of the area and fire off another three thunders spell, and roll a touch attack according to the DM's instructions
>With bated breath, the DM describes something in the troll's head as emitting a click before it begins shrieking, the pitch growing until it explodes and sending shrapnel everywhere
>Encounter over, boss defeated!
>We get an absolute assload of XP from this, so much that I'm only 15 away from leveling up!
>After some convincing, the DM says that something else will happen this session to get that last little bit
>We get healed somewhat, and the exploded bits of the troll regenerate enough to run away, but it shouldn't be a problem for us as they pay us no mind despite them running right past a few kobolds, and Kisara goes to start exploring some of our new home!
>Remember that gnome killed by the ogre earlier?
>Yeah, turns out he was only playing dead and immediately gets up in a surprise round, stabbing Kisara from behind and taking a charge of Scintillating Sphere from her
>This gnome is very quickly dealt with though, and I get 20 XP despite being KOd for the entire fight lmao

There was some in-text RP today where Kisara and Vyth got in an argument and Kurtulmak (the DM) told Kisara to stop talking trash when she's at 0 HP and go rest instead through an errant magpie, but beyond that nothing much happened. The next session's on sunday as usual, so I'll see you all then and we'll get to see how the gnoll warband reacts to having their home swiped right out from under them by kobolds! Also, will the howling dragon become our draconic patron, or will it continue to serve the gnolls? Find out in two days!
Kisara's Player
Oh boy, some shit happened this session! Lemme fill you all in, because some major changes both in-game and out of it have happened!
>Where we last left off, we had finished up clearing the Great Geode of its gnoll presence and also beating the half-troll/half-golem that showed up as a superboss, so this session was really just cooldown

>Which is where we get to the first major change, a new PC by the name of Keppa arrives on the scene from Humanville, an escapee of the Silver Empire who happened to notice the large pile of kobolds moving into the Great Geode and decided to blend in for interest's sake!
>The first part of the session is thusly spent with light RP in getting Keppa's player acquainted with the tribe and doing some more light exploration of the area, including finding a scroll of disintegration among the queen gnoll's belongings
>Around this time is when the gnolls come back from their raid, and they're a bit surprised to find the entrance to the geode closed off and now filled with kobolds
>However, they seem to not really care
>The howling dragon, however, does
>It screams the cave open enough to climb inside before plopping down in the water, all the while everyone's freaking out except for those of us who have dealt with this dragon before
>We try to talk it down from doing anything bad, and it agrees and is content to just take one last bath here before leaving again, but only if it gets to keep 27 kobolds
>That's around a 1 in 5 chance for it to take one of the PCs or one of the important NPCs, so we're not letting that happen
>Keppa's player brings up the idea of fighting the dragon, but it's quickly vetoed because most of us are on single-digit HP, but we do decide that it's a good idea to try to get rid of the dragon at the very least
>How we plan to do so is through one of Vyth's spells, pretty sure it was called dismiss or something
>Anyway, we need to stall this thing for 15 minutes so he can actually prepare it, so Kisara does her best to at first talk down the dragon's desired number of kobolds to hopefully 0, which only partially works
>The dragon's talked down, but only to 11
>That's better, but still not good
>1 in 15's better than 1 in 5, but it's still far from optimal
>Also, it's worth noting that Kisara of course takes this opportunity to try to get rid of her biggest rival right now, which almost worked
>Unfortunately, while the dragon was convinced to take Snogla, she managed to substitute another unfortunate kobold for herself before the dragon was able to take her
>She lives another day... Guess I'll just have to do it myself!
>But anyway, the dragon's not being stalled forever since the gnolls it's beholden to are getting impatient, so the DM rolls a few dice at random and another 10 kobolds are taken by the dragon and carried off into oblivion
>Vyth and Kisara both breathe sighs of relief, but Keppa's not entirely satisfied with this end for the first session, so she takes it upon herself to make things more interesting by going outside and introducing herself to the gnolls
>She passes the charisma check to not get outright killed, and after some DM autopiloting manages to make it back to the cave safely
>This nets her a massive pile of XP for singlehandedly surviving an encounter meant for 8th level characters at least, meaning she's no longer level 3!
>Congratulations, we look forward to the next session where we may even get another new PC!
>And that's where things end for now, with the tribe's safety and future secured for the time being and no new world-ending events on the horizon (that we know of), so we're free to do whatever we want next!

Said next thing is likely going to be getting the growing tree out of the Enveloping Pit though, as it's started spitting out ethereal monsters and seems to be quite mad at being locked in gay baby jail for a long-ass time. Either we can negotiate with the tree like last time, or we try to kill it again. Either way, the next session's sure to have plenty of action for the newcomers and a continuation of a previous storyline for the veterans of this game. I'll see you all then and there though, Sunday morning at 11AM-12PM EST or 8AM-9AM PST!
Kisara's Player
Well, some of the changes have been reverted. Keppa's player dipped at the end of this session since the game wasn't exactly his style (seemed to be something to do with the two other players being serious and wanting to know the lore behind things instead of combat and memes), so it's back down to Vyth's player and myself. Anyway...
>Where we last left off, Keppa had just managed to escape getting captured by gnolls and the howling dragon had only taken 11 kobolds, none of whom were terribly important

>Next on our order of business, fixing the problem with the enveloping pit having an angry wooden thing and apparently many undead within it as well
>We head outside a decent distance away after a long rest to replenish our HP and spells, far enough so that whatever's in here hopefully doesn't affect the geode but close enough so that we can have a short walk home afterwards
>We bring Akara and some orderlies with us, Akara for being the party's tank and the orderlies for being potential meatshields for the things that come out
>Except the only thing that comes out at first is an immense explosion!
>The cover saves us though, and instead of being evaporated by a magic nuke we only take fall damage
>However, the surrounding landscape almost out to the now invisible horizon is now covered in dense forest
>And, according to the DM, it's spreading still
>And the first wave of enemies is coming for us
>After about a round of prep, a bunch of pixie zombies swarm us and... bite us for one damage each?
>Lol, lmao
>Vyth immediately turns them all and orders them to hold off the third wave, more of those pixie zombies coming out of the open pit
>But what about the second wave, you ask?
>Good question! Anyway, a pissed off blighted treant comes stomping at us and awakens two of the other newly-grown trees!
>The real fun begins as we now try to fend off the treants, with Kisara throwing fire, Vyth commanding his zombies, and Keppa doing her thing as a swordsage while Akara faces off against a treant one-on-one and gets...
>Crit, and for very big damage
>Oh no
>Kisara attacks that treant out of rage on the next turn, burning it to a crisp, and luckily Vyth casted lesser vigor a while back to make sure the pixie bites didn't bother us, so he's not going to die after making his fortitude save easily
>The real problem is that there are still two treants and the forest is still growing rapidly
>The two of them have now placed themselves on either side of Kisara, so with some DM assistance I put a big-brain play into effect by blasting them both with a scintillating sphere and dealing some good damage, killing the second!
>(note, these events are probably out of order to an extent)
>But anyway, at some point we also notice some rattling and clacking coming from the pit and a very brightly glowing green object raising out of the pit
>We deal with the last treant somehow, and its body collapses backwards into the pit and crushes a very large amount of skellies to death, and they would've been wave 4
>Oh well, now we just have the primary problem
>The big glowing thing that we can now see was the root-rock thingy once
>Anyway, it gives Vyth the mental command to cut it out (as in cutting something out of the wood, not refraining from killing its minions) and he complies while Kisara tries to pull Akara from the foliage and Keppa stands around being unhelpful
>When all's said and done though, Vyth gets a big oblong green thing out of it!
>We bring it back to the geode and inspect it, trying to figure out what it is for a while before deciding that it's probably an egg and setting it up in a nest before going for another rest
>In the middle of said rest though, the egg begins to hatch and out comes a baby green dragon!
>Vyth and Kisara spend some time questioning it and learning about its kind and itself while Keppa mocks it, helping Kisara learn some of its emotional weakpoints for the future if it decides to get uppity with her
>Valuable information indeed, lest this thing fall to the same fate as the last dragon Kisara met
>Never mind that that last dragon was killed by someone else, she was still ready and willing to kill it!
>But anyway, that's where the session ends and it seems that we're all free to play the next one tomorrow! Today? Easter.

Anyway, see you all in a few hours when the Kool Kobold Koalition goes off on our next mission, whatever that may be!
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we hatched a weird green thing that turned out to be a green dragon's egg, and now we have a little green monster to look after in the tribe

>This time, we spend some time fortifying this geode and also end up learning that it's the enormous calcified skeleton of an amethyst dragon, and we're only inside its mouth right now!
>We decide to expand the base to encompass more of its body, but our first chosen stop would've been its head and, as it's a psionic creature, it's still probably immensely powerful even dead
>Yeah, not the best idea then
>So instead, we decide to go about doing something for the green wyrmling as it's getting shouty again
>It wants a sheep, and Kisara's the only one who knows what a sheep is, so her, Vyth, Zags (iirc) as an animal handler, and Akara as the usual meatshield venture out to a nearby halfling village to find one
>The trip through the new forest around us is difficult though, so we don't make it out on the first day of travel and have to stop and make camp
>However, while we're doing that we're interrupted by a briarvex and a shambling mound!
>Kisara is the one who takes the hit during the surprise round, getting immediately chunked for big damage before the fight starts in earnest
>Things quickly go our way though, and we're able to fend them off without any casualties
>From there, we take a rest and make it the rest of the way to the village without issues
>In order to infiltrate, Vyth disguises himself as a gnome and Kisara pulls Zags and Akara together to form a new Ultimate Lifeform, Kizagra!
>Kizagra the "human" and Vyth the "gnome" then proceed into the halfling village, playing the part of merchants looking to buy sheep to fix a deal gone wrong
>After a stop at a local pub, we head over to one of the nearby pastures where we find some more locals and negotiate with them for not one, but two sheep!
>From there, we head back home after making an important note of a certain circle of monoliths that looks suspicious nearby and warrants further investigation later
>Along the way the sheep are annoying to manage and we have to make a few animal handling rolls to make sure that they don't get caught out or get us found by the powerful monsters or wandering mages coming to the area after the magic surge that happened, but we make it back fine
>Before they're handed over to the dragon though, Kisara decides to test if she actually knows what a sheep is
>The dragon guesses right, so no bullying will happen yet
>From there, the session ends and we all go about the rest of our Easter separately

There was some extra RP at the end with Kisara getting dragged into a circle with Akara by the warrior caste, but the situation was defused before anything unsavory could happen and both kobolds kept their dignity intact for the day. Pretty much everyone was intoxicated though, which is probably why this went over without a second thought, but it did tell me the player that it was probably going to take a lot of in-game effort to get Akara actually adjusted to being in the tribe and accepting of what he really is. Oh well, if anyone's qualified for the job, it's the kobold who already saved his life once by suplexing him through the five stages of grief! However, we'll only find out that answer later on, so I'll see you all this sunday!
Okay, the last two sessions have been some pretty major duds because the DM had nothing prepared for a while due to not having time, and then more recently his audio drivers gave out so that became a problem too. Anyway, I might as well give you all the highlights for what happened so if something happens in the next session y'all aren't left in the complete dark on it.

>Session after Easter session starts with us going to explore more of the amethyst dragon's skeleton and surrounding caves
>We bring Akara and a few orderlies, find new giant stronghold and hear about an enormous creature somewhere inside
>Go in and fight a few guys that turn the ground into quicksand and make us bleed, akara almost dies but we save him
>Go forward some more, find a big swarm of centipedes and nuke it in a few turns before nuking the parents of said swarm, giant centipedes, too
>The big monster shows up though, big blue dragon centipede
>Fucker tells us to get out of his territory and stay out after we convince him not to eat us

>Session last week (I think)
>Decide it's finally time to pick a direction for the next part of the campaign
>I still want to check out the desert, but Vyth's player overrules me with an adamantium mine nearby
>We get together a party to come with us and gather some supplies and the weasels
>We take like 20 steps out into the forest when we're ambushed by more monkey-esque trolls
>We fight our hardest, but we're TPK'd again...
>Get rescued though and brought back to the base afterwards and resolve not to step outside again until we can burn down the surrounding forest and clear out all the hostiles with the cleansing fire

Every time I fight something monkey-adjacent in DnD there's either an imminent TPK or a TPK that's avoided through pure RNG and they never give EXP worth the problems they cause. The next time we fight anything monkey-related I'm just going to get up and do something else until the fight is over. See you all tomorrow when hopefully things improve.
Kisara's Player
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>Last week there was an almost-TPK from more forest trolls, hopefully that's the last of them we see for a good few levels

>This week, we burn down the forest
>Well, Kisara enlists Yusdrayl's help in burning down the forest
>During this downtime, Vyth spends his time mining mainly
>However, something interesting happens about a week into the process when a few super-sentai-esque ogres come by while we're in the process of checking the burn progress
>They do happen to announce themselves with their loud magic, screaming, and the frantic trolls they're chasing though, so we have ample time to hide
>However, they happen to be corralling the trolls directly towards the kompound
>This isn't good, so I burn a level 2 spell to use major image to make it look like the entrance is still on fire, and this scares the trolls away from trying to find a way in and the ogres from chasing them
>However, one of the ogres stays behind for some reason and *almost* makes it past the illusion, only turning back after his perception check didn't yield a high enough score to see past my spell!
>Fantastic, that means things are safe again for now

And that's where last session ended, I have no idea what we're doing this session because all the immediate plans were thrown into jeopardy with the last almost-TPK and put on hold for Operation: Up In Flames, so I guess we'll see.

>>However, one of the ogres stays behind for some reason and *almost* makes it past the illusion, only turning back after his perception check didn't yield a high enough score to see past my spell!
He succeeded on his perception check to notice something was amiss (tremorsense and earth mastery also played a role), but he failed his will save when he interacted with the illusion to recognize it as false.
Major image is a lvl 3 spell, btw.
Screenshot_552 (1).png
The Elemental Mages in question
Kisara's Player
>Major image is a level 3 spell
huh, must've accidentally hit the 2 by accident. I swear I'm not stupid
Kisara's Player
So, it's been a hot minute since this and things happened in this session, let's get into it

>Where we last left off, we had narrowly avoided losing the tribe to a sudden ogre invasion after some quick thinking by Yours Truly
>This time, we're making plans and packing up to head for the Burning Bayou to scout it and see what new kobolds are out there for us to find
>We spend a few days getting set up with basic supplies and waiting for the weasels to return from a pre-existing scouting mission so we can take them on our own 2-month-round-trip
>They come back with the rest of the scouts, and with them comes a living gnome!
>Nice, a prisoner to torment!
>We get to work on this immediately, finding out that this guy's a potato farmer that wandered away from his home in the nearby village
>We also learn, after literally pressing him for it (with big rocks), that the village is downstream from us
>Cross-referencing this with the map markings from the other gnome a while back, we manage to pinpoint the location of the actual village and bring this info to Ukri
>After this, we go to grab the weasels, but they're too tired to go for now and thus we have to wait a few days
>Kisara decides to spend this time idly watching Ruv, a worker from the OG Spawncampers who she likes messing with on occasion, dig a hole
>However, as time goes on it becomes clear that something's not entirely right, even moreso when she drags Vyth down into the hole she's digging and pins him to the floor
>Kisara clears the dust from the hole to improve visibility with a wind spell before hopping down, upon which she barely manages to fend off some kind of psychic attack from Ruv
>Also weird, because Ruv's not a mage and thus shouldn't have any such powers
>Vyth then climbs out of the hole to detect magic and figure out more about this while Kisara uses her slippery nature to avoid Ruv's psychic attacks like the plague until this all gets figured out
>Eventually Vyth finishes narrowing it down to something, upon which Kisara takes this information and brings it to the relevant tribe authorities (Ukri and Yusdrayl)
>They show up and help to try to figure the situation out, with Yusdrayl trying to dispel magic and only ending up getting herself caught in Ruv's psychic attacks
>With this, she also starts trying to grapple Vyth and drag him into the hole Ruv was digging, so that's not good
>Ruv then latches onto one of Ukri's guards and tries to drag him in there, but he puts up a good fight and goes down swinging
>By this point we figure out that it's probably possession, and it's only happened so far to the female kobolds that are linked to Iada from the OG Spawncampers
>So that means that if we can restrain these two, then we can probably get this sorted out in a good way
>Following this revelation, Kisara runs off to find Snogla and Akara, two kobolds that aren't related to Iada, to help restrain Yusdrayl and Ruv
>This takes a while, upon which Vyth realizes that he probably won't be of much use trying to non-lethally dissuade Yusdrayl from grabbing at him, so he passes off his Wiivai-given tome to Ukri and tells him to look for a solution in there while he deals with this issue
>Ukri clears everybody out of this affected area, and after another hot second of running around, Kisara returns with Snogla and Akara
>Everyone present gets the quick rundown from Vyth, and at this point Kisara figures that the only way to really find out more without sitting around and guessing is to actually succumb to it and see what it's like from the inside
>Kisara grabs Yusdrayl's attention and I intentionally fail a will save, and Kisara's transported to a field of gray where all she hears and feel is a deep loneliness and feelings of inadequacy
>From here, she manages to push her way back out to lucidity to find herself in a tug-of-war over Akara between her and Snogla
>Nobody seems happy, but I ace a bluff check to distract Snogla long enough to try to progress things by dragging Akara around
>This, however, nets me no new insights, so I make another check to break out into lucidity again and notice a bunch of clay pots around the place
>Surprise, it's explosives!
>Kisara uses this break at lucidity to make a break, levitating Yusdrayl so Vyth can similarly run, only to find a spear line at the entrance to this tunnel to keep us all in
>Kisara uses her last few seconds in lucidity to again bluff to gain us more time, saying that she's figured out what's wrong and is trying to break us all free at this moment
>This buys us a turn from them lighting the explosives, as one of Yusdrayl's servants grabs the torch from the kobold who was about to put it to the fuse and tells him to wait
>However, if one betrayal wasn't bad enough, Snogla decides now is the time to actually try to kill us as she drags Akara beyond the spear line and shoots the explosives directly with a flaming arrow
>The tunnel collapses as supernatural phenomena fills the air, with the five of us falling into an unknown chasm somehow stuck underneath our tribe, our fates unknown to all but us because the DM told us we weren't dead

And that's the session! Vyth's player and I have already agreed that as soon as we're out of this hole, we're killing Ukri and Snogla for this. Not only is it unwise to bet against our success, but these two have actively tried to kill us now, so it's personal! Beyond that, Kisara's back floating in a field of stars inside her own head a la the encounter with the aurora dragon previously, so maybe this is connected somehow? Oh well, either way the next session is sure to be an interesting one as the plot has hit maximum thickness!

Me running stupid encounters I write while drunk almost a year ago knowing full well they're visibly garbage:
Kisara's Player
>mfw I had full warning that things were going to be shit but decided to press forward anyway
Kisara's Player
167669 167933
>Where we last left off, we were tumbling into a chasm that opened under us from a huge explosion and an even more brutal betrayal

>We come to in the underdark, particularly a mushroom forest
>Yusdrayl wakes up first and manages to wake Vyth up, who then wakes up Kisara, Ruv, and the now named soldier, Mud
>Ruv begins hollowing out a nearby fallen mushroom stem, and Vyth and Kisara get to work on finding out where the hell we are and how big this cave is
>We start by casting light on a pebble and launching it as far into the air as it'll go, but this attracts unwanted attention
>Said unwanted attention is a bigass ugly monster which we soon learn is being piloted by a mini mindflayer, and the mindflayer directs his minions to "find the mage!"
>However, by this point we were hiding inside the hollowed out mushroom stem and succeeded on all of our checks, so we're fine
>From here, we convert the stem into a boat and begin sailing across this marsh, hoping to find the way home after the pebble revealed roughly nothing and almost got us killed
>We shack up for a rest inside some monster's skeleton when it's time though, and during the rest something... big flies into the skeleton with us
>Grinding and chittering keep Vyth and Yusdrayl up through the watch, and when the rest of us wake up it's revealed that the noises in question are being caused by a swarm of giant bats!
>Said bats immediately attack, with the biggest one swiping Yusdrayl and pulling her into the air
>In response, Ruv and Mud hide while Vyth and Kisara ready themselves for combat, with Vyth summoning a demonic bat of his own to assist us
>However, the spell goes wrong somehow and the bat begins to grow and change of its own accord
>With the bat plan out of action, Kisara goes with plan B and three-thunders an orb of electricity to smack the big bat and hopefully break the swarm's morale
>This works beautifully, with the entire combat solved within the round
>We then collectively stand around and watch Vyth's demon bat change until it finally stops, turns to us, and greets us in flawless draconic
>Yeah, something's fucky

And we're going to find out today, so that'll be fun. Let's hope it doesn't kill us or give us some kind of unavoidable faustian bargain or something, those would suck. But anyway, see you guys there!
>some kind of unavoidable faustian bargain
Let the record show, no faustian bargain is unavoidable.
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, an evil bat ended up turning into some kind of divine messenger and decided to talk to us

>Anyway, the bat
>The bat is revealed to be a divine messenger of some kind after we roll some knowledge checks
>The god in question trying to talk to us was Kuraulyek, god of the Urds (winged kobolds) and an overall bastard due to his betrayal of Kurtulmak just before Garl's hissyfit
>Vyth is immediately having none of this, but Kisara decides to at least hear out the bat since it's offering a way out of the underdark
>There's then a big in-character argument that ends off with Vyth trying to attack the bat and failing while Kisara actually tries negotiating with it
>This thing uses a lot of flowery language and other manipulation tactics trying to get Kisara on its side, but Kisara's not as stupid as she looks/acts, so we eventually find out that this thing will only help us out under one condition
>Become urds and go help a nearby urd settlement from whatever imminent collapse is coming for them
>It's at this point that Kisara firmly sides with Vyth again, which makes the bat unhappy to say the least
>However, it's no match for us and we manage to kill it within a couple turns, leaving us with a huge dire bat carcass
>Vyth then conducts a ritual and resurrects the bat, netting us transportation, guidance out, and two bearded [strikethrough]dragons[/strikethrough] devils to protect us on the way out of this pit
>We then pile on to the bat, and start flying for the nearest exit

And that's where the session ended! A new session is today, and now that I have a functioning computer again, I'm posting this ~20 minutes before the session starts. Anyway, see you all then or in the next session, whichever you decide to show up for!
Lord Sesotuth, General of Hell, when a bunch of fucking kobolds managed to summoned them, because they couldn't find their way out of a cave.
Kisara's Player
and don't forget the fact that its summoner was blind and deaf at the time
Kisara's Player
>Where we last left off, we were on the zombified ex-messenger of kuralyek and were flying to look for a way out of the underdark

>We're still on the back of the bat and flying until we encounter a large stone spire rising up from the bottom of the enormous cavern until it merges with the ceiling
>Vyth wants to stop and investigate, but Kisara wants to keep flying and look for a confirmed exit
>Vyth being the one who controls the bat though, decides to take us down and lands it, letting the bearded dragons watch over it while we go to investigate closer
>Vyth leads the way, Ruv and Mud are somewhere behind him, and the sorcerors round out the rear of the party
>As we're walking through a field of stalagmites approaching the pillar, Vyth ends up getting hit by something that causes him to be both blinded and deafened!
>All this shortly after we were talking about the kind of gnome that dwells in the underdark
>Gee, I wonder what we're fighting
>Yep, more fucking gnomes
>And they're camouflaged damn well, we aren't really able to see them and the forest of stone is certainly not helping
>Vyth calls the bearded dragons to him and they go to work, screaming their battlecries as they still maintain perfect communication with the party a la https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpsezVsd0No
>Meanwhile, Yusdrayl goes off to help him and Ruv follows, leaving Kisara and Mud to stand their ground against this unseen threat
>The two ladies and the summons do a good job of keeping Vyth protected, and Kisara and Mud end up making a half-decent team themselves as they weather their own gnomish assault with surprising ease
>Well, until the gnomes realize their mortal error in challenging us, and their priest (who has done a good job in staying away from us) starts reviving gnomes so they can run away
>This combined with the gnomes summoning these big, ugly 3-armed monsters to cover their retreat is also annoying
>Either way, each team makes short work of their aggressors while the beardies take on the priest and manage to cut off his escape!
>Nice, we got a new sacrifice!
>We then clean up the mess left behind (and Kisara did NOT get shanked by another random enemy that managed to survive the fight and stab her in the ass to knock her down just like every other major fight we've been in!)
>(seriously, it's getting tiring at this point)
>But anyway, Vyth pulls off a fantastic sacrifice despite being blinded and deafened, and for this priest's life in combination with the life of a servant of kuralyek so soon before manages to catch Kurtulmak's eye to the point that he sends us a GENERAL OF HELL
>The beardies watch on in horror as the equivalent of some mcdonalds customer summons Ronald McDonald himself, and their boss's boss's boss's boss's boss, Sesotuth, strides into the mortal plane to ask a blind and deaf kobold why the hell he/she/it's now in the underdark
>The situation is worked out though, with Sesotuth agreeing to teleport us out of the underdark and use the rest of the time it's here to 'have fun,' whatever that means to a hell general
>We then are poofed to the surface, all of rejoicing happily except for the devils, the two weaker of whom are dragged off by the scruff of their necks while the stronger bulldozes everything in its path as it goes off to do... something
>Who cares about that though, we're free!
>And it's also time to take a long rest so that Vyth can get new spells prepared and fix his blind/deafness

And that's where the session ended! We're all back on the surface, and if I remember correctly, we still have the bat so we can use it to fly home! That means we get to go back and exact our revenge against those that betrayed us, and with that complete, nothing will stop us from becoming the true driving force of the colony again! See you all at tomorrow's session where we may see the conclusion of this arc of the story!