Now with less salt!
The party has had a good talk, after nearly ripping its self to pieces. They may still rip each-other to pieces, but in spite of it all the Game will go on.
The nerd and his pet are still in the stadium, kind of like in vidya RPG's where the villain is clearly occupying a particular space but the player wanders off to do side-quests and meta shit.
The tower had been filled with frogs, salt, and vitriol, but all have been cleared out and things seem to be leveling out, as both players and characters sort their differences rather than figuring out how to cause the GM to have an aneurysm or go an hero on the whole thing. Also there's kittens.
Whew, this is what you get when you mix games and the paranormal!
449 replies and 36 files omitted.
>>17613"But he has a car and I know it can go very far."
>>17613"Listen, she's little, scarred, and confused. Just let me handle it."
Torc crouches back down, and pets the little filly
"I promise we will explain everything later, but is there anything I can get you now?"
>>17619"I asked her that!"
>>17618"Oh good. So you know cars. No, he won't be able to get to you"
>>17619"O-okay. I think I have what I need. I lost my collection of twigs but I know I can get new ones."
>>17614This thread is giving me goddamn diabeetus>>17620GM, what are Torc's options for shutting up Trump you he doesn't scar the poor hoers for life?
>>17597Mr trumpadin we are from the same place, german just simply became the dominant language on earth (Erde) in the 1940s and i am very good at killing things.
Alright, the characters in no particular order. (carry on, simple descriptions)
Trumpaladin is very much like he appears in pic related
Tracy likewise appears like her character
Taylor Swift also, except with a battle-axe and a holstered .44mag
Nor-filly is a purplish pegasus filly
Infernius looks like a red-furred Iron Will (MLP) w/ a freaky-big sword on his back
Torcuil looks like a bearded scotsman in tartan robes, carrying an ornate snake-headed staff, a pair of fine pistols on his belt.
Thez is a purple devil with pink hair, her wings wrapped around her like a cloak and her tail around her waist like a belt.
>>17623"Oh I see. What do you know of the great Donald J Trump?
It's very good that you are so skilled. This realm seems to have been taken over in part by Judeo-Bolsheviks"
>>17624But remember that Inferius is holding a pile of kittens almost as big as him
>>17621"If you'd like, I can take you out to find some sticks."
Torc is acting in a way nobody has seen him act before, reminded of the daughter he lost
>>17617"I've had some pretty fucking autistic fans, sister. Tell me, how
edgy are you?"
Thez licks Taylor's shoulder. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself," she says a bit breath-taken.
"In case they haven't indicated, (she tells everyone's names so characters can know them, refer to description post)
>>17628Also, for GM: can Tracy have a Throne of Blades in her >RapeDungeon?
>>17625Ah the great Donald J Trump he was The best Fhürer we have had in ages.
>>17628I-im pretty edgy tracy. I eat the hearts of my enemies and bath in their blood.
>>17629Licks thez back
>>17627"Would be fun to go look for sticks"
>gets an increasing glassy look and yawns bigly >>17632".. You and I will get along just fine."
*Basks in the wonderful thought of DJT Furher*
"We can recreate the same here. We got some faggot and his pet dinosaur we have to hang first"
>>17633"Does a little filly want to go to bed? We've got some nice extra rooms!"
>>17633*cradles filly in my arms*
Ill help you look for sticks. Would you like that? We can sing a song.
>>17634"She likes cute ponies, you can see"
*Tries again to pet Tracy*
>>17633>picks up filly"We can do that, lets go"
>>17637>REEE I OFFERED TO DO THAT >>17632More blood shoots from her nose and she seems stunned, unable to speak
>three people fighting over the filly
>>17640This is gay
>>17642>Torc's heart melts"Wheres a bed for her?" Torc whispering while rocking the filly
>>17639Do you like you heart where it is scot?
Sorry had to drift off.. It is 6am and I should get some sleep before it gets too early.
>so sorry
>>17645"I have an extra room. Full room. Don't worry"
>>17649"Sorry about what happened a few nights ago. I think I misunderstood your way of giving affection"
Thez regains herself.
"You both must have many questions! Please, ask anything!"
>>17647Don't sweat it. Can everyone make 9am PST tomorrow, or is that too early? That'd be 6p norway, and 12 est
>>17650By the way GM, what's the situation with Time?
>>17650"... I could say the same..."
>>17654Well, there'll be plenty to discuss until you can make it, and then we can get things rolling. Would that work?
>>17651I dont know what is that in central time?
>>17653*goes in full to embrace and hug pony*
>>17655Trumpaladin, I'm guessing partly carrying Tracy, goes with Tourcil, who I guess is carrying the filly, to the extra bedroom to put her to sleep
>>17657CMT MASTER RACE
>>17651Should go well. We can do it later if it is more convenient. I can go with this time tomorrow too.
>could work better, might have an appointment 7pm (but I can skip that) >>17658Ill most likely be up around then.
Alright, lets try and shoot for that time if at all possible, and we'll roll with how things turn out. I'm not concluding gameplay right now, but I am trying to arrange it so that everyone or as many as possible are collected.
>>17661tl;dr; tell me when and where
>>17659*hugs, but tries to still look edgy for guests*
>>17665I'm usually here early (around 3p ur time), so arrive whenever is convenient
>>17664They can carry me is it makes it easier to group up
>it is not like I haven't woken up a strange place once before >>17664I habe pretty much nothing tmrrw so that'll work
Torc tucks the filly into the bed
>>17667"She likes cuteness too."
*Places a kitten in her mane to destroy all appearance of edge*
>>17668BEST PART OF COUNTRY!!!!
>>17668>Where did 666 go?I'd like to know that too...
Feel free to interact as you like, I've got lots of arranging to to. Also, feel free to ask whatever/however many questions, other players can probably answer and if not, I'll be in and out from here on.
>>17672>urge to shoop intensifiesTracy will never look edgy ever again
>>17678So Fhurer tr... trumpadin where can a girl take a bath around here?
>>17679"We've got the finest showers, bath tubs, and hot-tubs upstairs. Gilded, black marble, whatever you prefer"
>>17680*almost dies of cuteness*
>>17680Trumpaladin saves this image for Blackmail purposes
>>17680Well, I'm dead from cuteness
>>17682Could you show me the way?
>>17678>>17680Don't make me have to compensate for this.
>>17685"Why certainly. And tell me more about this Erde. I'm guessing there are few brown people in DuetsheAmerika?"
Trumapaladin takes Queen Taylor to the golden showers
>>17687"Brown People?"
Taylor is obviously confused by this question.
>>17690"I'm loving your response, even if I am a bit sorrowful that your answer hints that you do not know the joy of mass deportations"
>>17690"You know, the dumb ones with shit colored skin who steal things, and make horrible, edgy OCs."
>>17692Am I still sort of holding Tracy?
>>17691Why would you Deport your enemies when you could execute them? Deportation isnt very efficient it takes more money than they're worth.bullests are cheap.
>>17692Silly pony there are no shit colored humans on Erde.
>>17695"We had something called 'human rights,' 'compassion,' and 'the Refugee Act of 1985.' We were much more hindered. Much more held back."
>>17694Grapples pony
Torc decides to do some shooting practice with his newly improved guns
>>17696Trumpaladin is astonished to hear this
"Then who builds the buildings? Washes the dishes? Cleans the Toilets?"
>>17695*raises hoof* /)
"This bitch gets it."
>>17696"Good. Did I mention lazy?"
>>17699We engineered Robots to build buildings and to pick vegetables.
>>17701"You may have quite a bit to teach us all then. We can make this land a new Erde. We can make all lands Erde.
Anyways, we are here. Notice how roomy it is. Gold plating. Black marble floors, we made sure it's not slippery though. Need anything else?"
>>17702Uh Do you have any spare blood laying around?
>>17700Why are they all lazy why arent they colonizing their solar system?
>>17703"... Like for medical purposes? I am not sure. Maybe we have some in the infirmary. Of course I haven't seen an infirmary"
>>17703"It's either a lack of motivation, or just pure stupidity....
..And what's a solar system?"
>>17705"You'll find out little pony. If my vision is allowed to expand"
>>17704What else am i supposed to bath with?
>>17703>any spare blood laying around?"... I'm hospitable. Give me 10 minutes."
Fug, I have so much binging to do now that Infernius shared those videos, but I'm confident that I'll be able to use them to dramatically increase the quality of the game. Trump, Taylor, and Tracy seem to have things well in hand, Infernius I assume is tending to kittens, while Torcuil practices with his shiny pistols, and Norfilly sleeps soundly in her new environment. Thez threatens to skin Lenos repeatedly if he DARES booby-trap Norfilly's room. I've got meta up the ass to work on, so pardon me as I get to it.
I am going to ask that players without distinctive flags do some degree of namefagging so that I don't have a brain hemm....
>>17707Blood shoots from both of Thez' nostrils, she's been peeking from afar.
>>17705Do you know what space is?
>>17707"Oh I see. You want to bathe in the blood of your enemies. I'm sorry to inform you that will have to wait until tomorrow, after we kill this fucker in the stadium. In the mean time, please make use of our finely purified water"
Trumpaladin repeats to himself
"Furher Trumpaladin..."
>>17711Ugh fine i guess water will do.
>>17710"More or less. I've never been interested in it before though. All the books on it back in Equestria require library access cards, for some reason.."
>>17716Nope, not specific enough
>>17716It doesn't have to be THAT distinct, just the flag, or a colored name, or the name Trumpaladin, but whatever works.
>>17713"Shall we take your clothes?"
>>17715"We'll show you. Give it time"
>>17717reeeee
>>17718Lol, I'm fucking with you
>>17715Ill give you a crash course after my bath k? I mean afterall i did single handedly convince the Fhürer to begin the colonization of our solar system.
>>17721>solar systemIsn't england closest to the sun?
>>17720I know, but whatever works, just so I don't have to hi-light posts and scroll up to figure out who's doing what. This is going to be a challenge
>>17720"If you dont mind mr trumpadin."
*Drops clothes and goes and sits in the bath tub.*
>>17723It never sets, I know that much
>>17719"Come back?"
>>17721"More than once, if you didn't know"
>>17724I do what I want
>>17726Too right, fair enough. Carry on then.
>book flipping intensifies
GM, can Tracy restock her potions or not?
[1d20 = 13]
Performance roll
>>17734Call me retarded, but my guess is strip dance
>>17739Aw thanks tracy it makes me feel good to be complimented on my singing.
>>17741"And damned fine choreography to go with it, might I add"
>>17742Your making me blush trumpadin.
>>17740*confiscates clothes*
>>17741"I can recognize talent when I see it.
I'm going to go take my bath before these autistic faggots pit us all to our dooms against that weird dog."
goodnight everyone Thez wakes up to the sound of the music and rushes to Infernius.
"I'nis,... I hope you won't be mad,... but she's hawt. I hope you won't let it bother you though, you're still my favorite," she says lifting a wing and revealing her hip, on which the gemstone pattern shows a small picture (inspired by Tracy's cutie mark) of her tail entwined with his.
>>17743"If you can do that here, there's so much I know you can do. So much talent. Our potential is unlimited. You'll get a hell of a lot more than a bathtub of blood, I can promise you that. And more than a solar system."
>>17744"Let yourself not be discouraged. I'm not stopping till I have the stars"
>>17746The bull can come too if he wants.
>>17744"Are you sure you don't want to bathe with us?"
>>17746Trumpaladin stares down Thez
>>17749"O-oh, Flashy. I didn't know you fancied blood baths."
*gets in the tub, which I assume is big enough for everyone*
>>17748>>17746me dont mind me come too.
*leaves cats goes to bathroom*
>>17751"Just like... what the fuck Tracy"
*disgust*
>>17752Trumpaladin's look of seriousness resumes
"You defended an Empire, didn't you? Now, we can create one. And damned straight you can. You'll have the opportunity of a lifetime tomorrow"
>>17751All Trump bathtubs are big enough to hold multiple women besides a man
>>17756Just what I was thinking. This is almost suspicious levels of lewd
>>17754>*disgust*The bathtub is full of blood, and you invited her in.
>>17756D-d-delet this!
>>17756"God, please be deer. Please be deer"
>>17754I did with the help of the others. We were able to bring down (((them))) all
>>17759I've been implying thart she's been wreaking havok on the local wildlife for months, but I won't tell you what this is.
*picks floating eyeball out of the tub and looks at it*
Thez whispers to Infernius "Its like she can read minds."
>>17760"You've done it before? I'm impressed. We'll do it again. And again."
>>17761I'm guessing probably mammal then?
Kittens?
>>17765"You have new brothers and sisters here. Perhaps a new furher as well"
>>17767Thez crosses her fingers and mutters "Please don't be a troll. Please don't be a troll. Please don't be a troll...."
>>17768Don't make me hang a bitch
>>17764"So... We gonna do this?"
Thez sinks into the tub till her nose is barely above the water(blood?) level.
I'm gonna have to step away. Kudos, you've exceeded my ability to play along.
Every time there's an awkward silence a retarded baby is born.
>>17773Trumpaladin, also thoroughly disgusted, contemplates taking vials of the blood to see if anything - one - needs ressurrecting at the entertron, and if anypony needs smiting. Or if he just needs bleach
>>17775And... There it is.
Resistance is overwhelmed, and Trumpaladin does what is stated in
>>17775 >>17769Im not a troll dont worry.
>>17779"Nevermind... Forgive me, this whole setup is too suspicious. Not you. The blood. We killed our jews months ago"
>>17785Trumpaladin takes blood samples, and tries to figure out where the hell it came from, hoping he doesn't accidentally resurrect a grizzly bear, or Korak, or a cougar or something while running it through the Entertron
>>17787Also, Kills Tracy if she's been killing Port Barry Citizens
>>17782Is it because you don't find me attractive?
*obvious sadness in voice*
>>17789"No No No No. If anything, your attractiveness is almost too much for any man to handle. I... don't think I've seen a woman so beautiful in so long"
>>17791"I'm just suspicious of the blue one is all. But you. You have an amazing voice. You will impress all the peoples when we liberate their lands. You have an beautiful face, charms everyone. Charms me"
>>17780"I hope you'll pardon my suspicious nature, its just so,... charming."
>>17792"I agree. Perhaps we could do a duet sometime?
no pun" Thez asks meekly. "I'm a bit flustered by you, but I'm a world-class performer in my own right, and if we can ever find that damn city, I've already got a record contract."
>>17792That makes me feel better :)
Goes to sleep irl.
>>17794*Goes off to see if he needs to kill the pony*
GM does Smite Evil work on all attacks in a full round or just the first one?
>>17795Can be a normal attack or as one of a full round of attacks.
>>17793Id love to do a duet with you thez!
>>17796So can it be cast in the same round as an attack is done?
>>17795If you wanted, you could even do 3 smites in one full round attack (u get 4/day). Its not a 'cast', its a special attack.
>>17797Thez starts blowing bubbles in the blood, still looking meek.
She's totally unaccustomed to someone so comely not being repulsed by her >>17799How could any one be repulsed by thez?
>>17797"So,... you probably have questions,... about the world and all,..."
>>17799I feel like you said before it requires a full round to cast
So would damage be the d10 for Paladin (is that right?) plus 3 for strength modifier (1.5 times a +2 modifier for a two handed weapon) plus 15 for 15 Paladin levels?
>>17799Trumpaladin takes more of the blood in case he needs it to resurrect someone. Unless it's confirmed animal, then he leaves it there
>>17800"... cuz I have a tendency to tear things to shreds with fists, claws, feet, and tail,... and I'm obviously infernal,... and I sometimes eat faces,..."
>>17801"Im sure ill wake up in a bit, its fine."
>>17802I must have misunderstood your meaning. There's a spell (I can't find it atm) that is named something like Smite Evil, but the paladin ability does normal weapon damage plus paladin level(+15) + charisma bonus (+3)
>>17807"Well, unless that's what happens when you die in this world, I don't know of anyone waking up. There's a legend that says that killing the Terrasque might open a portal to wherever you want to go, but no one has ever succeeded."
>>17808Isn't the charisma bonus applied to the attack roll (which should be +4 because I added two of the ability points to charisma for 18) and the paladin level to the damage amount?
There's a plus 15 to the attack roll on the first attack in every round, so with smite evil that's a +19 on the first attack roll
>>17807"Many have... tried," she looks down for a moment. "You came in at an odd time, as the Terrasque happens to be not far from here, waiting for us with,... an old 'friend'."
>>17809"Wait so this isnt a dream"
"Then where the hell am i?"
>>17813"Isn't everything a dream more or less? This is world of potential. Its been said that this world was created by the combined will of all the Gods. Here are brought individuals who have pleased, and in some cases enraged, various entities. Those individuals are given free reign to do with as they please, intended to be for the enjoyment of both the individuals themselves and whatever entities and deities that can perceive it. I like to refer to it as Final Fantasy Football."
"The only real consistency I have found is that everyone who finds themselves here has died in their planet, plane, or dimension of origin."
>>17811I am not sure, but if Tracy has a breastplate, those damn bracers, and a dexterity of 19, then she has an AC of +11 - +5 for breast plate, +3 for dexterity (she has a +4 modifier, but breastplates limit dexterity to +3), and +3 from the bracers (am I missing something?) So a first attack roll has higher than a 1 it hits (no smite evil, normal +15 on first roll), second attack has higher than a 1 (+10 attack bonus), and third attack has a 6 or higher (+5 third attack bonus), it lands?
>>17813"Welcome to hell"
>>17814>>17815"As the demon lady says. We're in Purgatory. Defeat the Devil to escape"
>>17814So this is some kind of sick joke deites are pulling?
>>17816Completely wrong. +10 base AC. Maybe also an extra point or two for small size
>>17816I'd have to double check the numbers (the breastplate is incomplete, so only +3), but something like that. Also, you keep insisting that Tracy's bracers are better than the ring shield; they're not, the bracers are +3 while the ring shield is +4 (2 for shield size and 2 for magical augmentation).
"... devil." e_e
>>17817"If thats how you wish to see it, then yes. For me this is the only place I've ever had,..." glances at Trump and Infernius, "Friends."