Now with less salt!
The party has had a good talk, after nearly ripping its self to pieces. They may still rip each-other to pieces, but in spite of it all the Game will go on.
The nerd and his pet are still in the stadium, kind of like in vidya RPG's where the villain is clearly occupying a particular space but the player wanders off to do side-quests and meta shit.
The tower had been filled with frogs, salt, and vitriol, but all have been cleared out and things seem to be leveling out, as both players and characters sort their differences rather than figuring out how to cause the GM to have an aneurysm or go an hero on the whole thing. Also there's kittens.
Whew, this is what you get when you mix games and the paranormal!
449 replies and 43 files omitted.
>>17821"No, I came from another world," thinks for a moment, "Faerun it was called, but,... that was never my home, this is. I've been forced to leave it twice, but I'll always come back to it."
Does Trump have Vandereim on hand?
>>17822"Can we leave the atmosphere?"
>>17820I think Tracy is just barely big enough to be in the "medium" category, so no additional points for that. Does an incomplete Breast plate still limit dexterity bonus? If so, that's a 19 AC for her, and if not, that's a 20.
I forgot I also have a +2 strength modifier on attack rolls. So a 2 or 3 to land on the first attack, a 7 or 8 for a second, and a 12 or 13 for the third
What is Trumpaladin's AC? His main armor has never been specified, but Full Plate makes most sense. That would be a +8. If the ring shield is called up, that's +4. The D&D rules say that armor bonus stacks, which I think means I can claim the magic chain mail bonus too... is that a plus 7 or what is it?
>>17820>Friends"So long as I am convinced I cannot slay you, you can call me a friend"
>>17823"Always"
>>17824"Maybe. You haven't even been outside yet have you? This tower we're in is a giant floating crystal, capable of all sorts of energy fields. I'd have to ask Lenos
you'll meet him before too long, but with the place's level of design, it shouldn't be impossible."
>>17824"We need to conquer this planet first"
>>17825Or maybe it doesn't stack. I don't know
>>17826>>17827Where is this lennos fellow?
>>17825+8 for the plate, +4 for the shield, another +8 for the suit
As for the dex bonus/penalty, yes
"Why don't ye tell them the whole story ye craven wench, I'd like to hear it meself!" Vandereim taunts.
>>17829"He's usually milling about downstairs in the forge, but with all the naked he's probably monitoring from the top of the main staircase at the control interface."
At the sound of Vandereim (Trump has an intelligent sword), Thez breathes a deep and heavy sigh.
>>17830Damn. That's a lot of points.
>>17829"Usually in the forge. That or in the cockpit"
>>17832e_e "Vandereim, an insufferable, loud-mouthed, drunken bastard."
"Say it right ye monkey-bitch!" Vandereim retorts.
"Trump, hold me up for a moment will ye?"
As Trump lifts Vandereim, the sword calls out "I am Vandereim! The Masterful, Mystical, Messianic, and Metaphysically Most-Magnificent Bastardsword!" a light shines down from somewhere and a sound of "Ahhhhh" can be heard from the periphery.
>>17837Trump Basks in this as well
>>17839"I dunno lass, are ye,... evil?"
>>17840You said before only a Paladin can wield him
>>17840"I like to think of my self as good challenged."
>>17841Yes, but anyone can hold him, except evil characters (they take damage)
V> "Oi, lad! Why are ye bathing in blood? Gone SOFT on me have ye?!"
>>17845"I wanted to be accommodating to our new guest, then left after the suspicion of where the hell the Blue One got it from became too great"
>>17845What kind of advanced technology allows it to talk?
>>17847"I don't know. Seems to be Scottish"
>>17847V> "I'm magic lass! I was once the proud weapon of a great elven prince who like yerselves came to this world from another," he glares knives at Thez.
>>17850"NO. He's my Demon-killer. He and I have slain many a Bolshevik. Cut limbs."
>>17852Thez looks at you like you just said something completely absurd.
>>17852"I was hoping an afterlife didn't either. Yet here we are"
>>17855Thez leans closer, still with a baffled look on her face. "What do you mean 'magic doesn't exist'? Of COURSE magic exists!"
>>17854"Why would you hope for that?"
Footsteps can be heard approaching. "Wait, wait,... did she just say magic doesn't exist? Wew!"
Entering the room is a 2' tall fellow with gold and black striped hair, wearing an ornate robe and a man-sized, curved bladed dagger slung over his back, and an intricate cylinder hanging from his belt.
>>17857"I've suffered enough"
>>17858"Yeah. My magic shield has +2 AC versus steel, for instance"
>>17859"Hey Lenos"
>>17858"Yeah, as a matter of fact you can. Magic is measured by the intensity of spell and the degree of effect," the little fellow says drawing closer.
"This is Lenos. Lenos, this is Taylor," Thez offers.
>>17860Maybe your not here to suffer but to thrive and become better?
>>17862"I am here to free this land and spread the Glory of Football. That is my purpose. I don't know if that is why I was brought here, but I've made it mine"
>>17863"Well hell, I can do that. Name something specific"
>>17863L> "Math? You're looking at it all wrong. For some magic is a matter of combining attributes of items, words, gestures, and symbols. For others like me," his expression sharpens, he focuses on the ceiling and stretches out his hands in a triangular shape. Like a flamethrower, a huge gout of flame gushes forward splaying all across the ceiling (not catching fire, its glass-ish), "its a matter of inherent ability," he concludes.
>>17861GM, you never stated Tracy's actual stats while in the Cauchemar form. You did say that she only counts as "large" and not the regular" huge. Are we going by Druid wildshape rules where equipment is melded into the new form?
Also, how is Tracy able to make three attacks? I see that a level 15 rogue can do it. But a level 13 can't.
>>17867No, nor are we going by Cauchemar OR Nightmare stats. She gets three when she's got two blades in hand.
>>17868Um... what math should I use?
>>17866>You're looking at it all wrongMath is absolutely the correct way to look at it
>>17866>>17865Thats obviously not magic. There is a scientific explication for everything.
>>17870We're talking conceptually. Characters don't perceive magic by + values, that's a meta game, player thing.
>>17871Thez and Lenos both look at Tay like she just said something silly.
L> "How about this then?"
Lenos pulls out his rod
no pun and pushes a button along its surface, sending forth a short (this time) stream of about 40 more kittens.
>>17871"It's really all the same to me. I don't understand computer programming for instance. And what difference does it make if a magic force levitates an object, or if a magnet does?"
>>17873"Not sure if that violates conservation of mass. Also see if that is where Tracy is getting blood from"
>>17872That's what magic means for me though. Math in the D&D rules
>>17873Thats obviously some sort of advanced technology.
>>17874I get you, I'm just describing it how Lenos - a sorcerer - would.
>conservation of mass40 kittens from essentially a full-size mag light? After earlier spraying hundreds from the same mag light?
>>17877Listen short stuff Magic does not exist.
>>17876Teleportation, pocket dimension, compression of the kittens into an area of smaller volume but equal mass. I don't know. Star Trek has done similar. Of course Star Trek pretty much had magic. All I am sure of is that we now have to look out for the welfare of more kittens.
>>17878"consider it sufficiently advanced technology"
Lenos sighs, looks over to Tay's axe and casts Animate Object. The axe springs to life and starts bouncing around.
"Sick 'em," he says. The axe growls and starts chasing the kittens, which start hissing and running away. The axe chases them out of the room.
>>17881>>17880Obviously nano bots connected some sort of ai to my guitar
Lenos looks over at Trump and Thez. "I think this one's a little slow. Pretty though," he shrugs, walking out of the room.
>>17884>>17885Im not just a pretty face you know, and lennos im probably smarter than you.
Thez gets up out and stretches for a moment. "Well I'll leave you two three technically, I forgot Infernius never left, my faggot needs to sleep. Lovely to meet you Tay, we'll have lots of fun tomorrow I'm sure," she waves before vanishing with a <whooof>.
>>17886"I bet. I can't wait to see what your knowledge, intelligence, and training brings to the group"
>>17886>smarter than LenosThat
would be impressive, he's the smartest protagonist in the group. Anyway, night all.
>>17888Id like to see where this goes.
>>17890"So... Want to fuck while Tracy is asleep?"
>>17891Sure I dont have anything else to do.got a condom?
>>17893"uh... No. Do I need one?"
>>17895"How about just withdraw?"
>>17897"Oh yeah. At least so long as that pony was clean."
>>17901"No no, she should have been clean when she woke up in new body, and clean since. It's all good"
>>17902STDs don't follow you to the afterlife
>>17902"Thats not the reason im passing its a sisterhood kinda thing im sure you know what i mean right."
>>17904"What do you mean? I think she would appreciate a fan and I getting along"
>>17905"Its just you know tracy is super cool and i dont wanna step on any toes if theres anything between you two ya know?"
>>17906"I don't see why she would mind. She likes you. Besides, even if it did that would just make it edgier. And Tracy more than anyone can appreciate edge"
>>17907"I've seen the Japanese animus i know shes a j-ander, i know what happens when a woman crosses the line"
>>17908"Eh, let's just keep it secret. We might die tomorrow you know. That beast that mage guy has is tough"
>>17909"And if we dont tracy kill me anyway ja"
>>17910"Nah, she actually has a soft side to her. There was this unicorn I thought she was going to kill, but I found out later she actually befriended. She's got a soft side to her. You two will be as sisters, believe me. She respects your edge, and she can respect the edge in taking her husbando"
>>17910"You saw how she summoned a bathtub of blood from... Somewhere, for you"
>>17910"We're all gonna get along great. That I can tell you"
>>17912>>17911"I dont know man ive seen the memes on 4chin"
>>17911>>17912>>17913"whats going on over here?"
>>17914"Well, if you're really unsure, we can just ask her tomorrow. But I tell you she'd be completely okay with it, especially
you, since she likes how you appreciate her edge. Nothing wrong with multiple waifus.
>>17915"Hey Inferius! Glad to see you woke up. Tay and I have been talking. Thez is asleep."
>>17914"I'm serious though that I think you could really add to the team. Hearing what you said about Erde... It really made me think of what we could all accomplish. Together. And damn are you beautiful when you sing. Well, you're always beautiful, but I mean your performance is powerful. I hope it is put to good use tomorrow"
>>17916"Alright we'll ask her, ill,inspire you all tomorrow trust me!"
>>17917"Good night, and good luck"
>>17918"Same too you, extends arm like pic related"
*laying in his bed, Trumpaladin realizes why Joseph Smith went through the effort of founding a new religion*
>>17919"we're gonna kick this nerd's ass. And we're going to have a proper bath of hot blood"
*shakes hand*
>>17921"Thats not frowend upon by ...Footbal was it
But seriously now, can I get a yes/no on that potion restock?
I gtg I should be back by 12 but it oould be about 1. don't kill anything without me.
"And Trump, I'm taking the filly to collect sticks"
>>17932Right,....
>>17931What potions?
>>17928If Taylor Swift invited you to bathe in blood, you would bathe.
>>17933Like, does she have the time to buy/refill any? She already used up the magic vestment, and the dimerterium bombs never actually got made.
I want some acid resistance.
>>17934Good thinking, yeah you can have some of those. The shackles will take time to research as an item.
[15d9+30 = 108]
[15d7+75 = 133]
Rolling hp, don't mind me
[2d9+30 = 47]
[13d5+30 = 74]
[4d9+4 = 22]
[10d5+10 = 46]
If it wasn't clear earlier, keen all of the edges.
>>17939K. Now did you mean resistance potions or protection potions?
Resistance gives damage reduction of type per round, where protection gives essentially Hp against damage type?
>>17651Wait, you meant pm, right?
>>17940Idk.
Something that protects long enough to stay inside an internal organ for a few minutes. >>17941No, I meant 9a. It's 6p in Norway right now, I was going for optimal overlap.
>>17941I'd go for resistance then. Protection is what Thez used to survive Lenos' dragon-breath, whereas resistance is more for gradual damage/round
>>17941I think I was going for protection.
>>17944Not without more players, 9a was kind of a ballpark estimate, we'll see who shows up when
>>17946I'm going with no,... the amount of time it would take to fill the quiver with knives alone would be extensive, outside the standard group actions, on top of acquisition of potions and, etc.
>>17922Only depending upon the source of the blood. Although it's kind of weird
>>17928I think your character is the only one to have been anally penetrated thus far, except perhaps Inferius
>>17929yes it is...
>>17933This.
>>17932Reeeee! I wanted to fetch sticks with the filly
>>17934I was wondering how long it would take you to ask for that potion. The shackles would have been amazing, but I didn't think you'd sneak it past GM.
>>17946>>17947Food locations would have cutlery though, wouldn't they?
>>17948He wasn't penetrated, he was forcefully sat on.
>cutleryNot in the quantities that she's asking, she's already got a broom-closet full.
And she shouldn't expect the majority of them to be 'melee-grade' >>17947GM, what is the name of that magic field the mage extends?
>>17949Oh come on! Give him something less pleasant for that
>>17950What, for the >rape? Nah, context my dude. Troll either hadn't ever gotten any, or hadn't in a very long while. Here's this otherwise upstanding dude, obviously infatuated and spilling his spaghetti. She decided to both give him what he seemed to want, while also making him suffer for being awkward, but not in a way that would completely traumatize him (a little, but not a lot).
>>17951Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I wanted to take her virginity. Oh well.
This is more or less a map of what the stadium should be like, although it may be smaller than its model. See that the concourses off to the side are huge, and the seating area is huge
http://www.seats3d.com/nfl/denver_broncos/#/level_7/ >>17952TY. Don't expect that level of sophistication, but <blam>
>>17953Notice the site has information for each level of seating. Check out "suites" and "United Club."
Is the Entertron portable and it what way? Also, does it actually require input?
Checking in, I'll be ready at 1
>>17951>sufferWell it fucking worked
>>17954Oh gawd, you're going to reference seating areas in combat aren't you? K ~_~
The entertron is permanently fixed to the tower, and removing it will completely disable it (its linked to the field that operates the tower)
>>17955Your bad for saying "I love you" to a hoers
named Trollestia at virtually the outset of a date. Xp
>>17955"Walk it off!" can be heard from no direction in particular.
>>17956Maybe... And I still think that date went better than he deserved.
>>17957This.
>>17958Is taking Tracy as a mount a stupid idea right now given your battle plans?\\
GM, do the Blue Suede Shoes work while mounted?
>>17954As for input, a single scrap of dna is all that is required.
For the proceeding fight, there will be 3 types of "out-of-commission". Down, Kill, and Splat. Down can be healed, Kill needs a revive, and Splat means Entertron only
Thez could revive Splat, but then she becomes splat herself and that takes a LONG time to regenerate>>17957Taylor Swift is rapidly becoming my favorite pop-culture figure
>>17961There's a cool thing I wanna do first, but it's welcomed after that point.>>17962>A single scrap of dna is all that is required.Could that, hypothetically, be used for cloning?
Another thing to note, with all the modifiers, stats, tables and considerations I CAN GUARANTEE that I will make errors and mistakes. I will do my best, but I am more concerned with maintaining the flow of gameplay than making sure I remember each and every combat modifier or whatever. If I make a glaring mistake, please correct me and if its timely I can re-script the occurrence, and if it is not timely I will gladly make amends in the next occurrence. Also please don't issue too many commands at once, as both the variance of the auto-update, possible time lag of posts, and other considerations will likely make this tricky to keep an idea of sequence. Again, I will do my absolute best.
>>17963Would you mind having her present herself to be mounted?
"Get me closer! I want to hit him with my sword"
Also I want to know about cloning as well
>>17964The armor gives arcane spells a 30% failure chance right?
>>17963>CloningNo. Think of it as an instant regeneration device, where any exterior surplus withers away
>>17965Which armor?
>>17966I think the plate. Possibly the magic chain mail as well
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Armor >>17963Although if you want to fight on the ground with the sword, that works too, just give a position where I can use the shoes to get in and hit it with my sword
>>17966*inis rises from his coma*
Tracy is currently meditating as a Blackguard does in an undisclosed area and channeling wicked energies from the ongoing 4CC, as she prepares focuses her monstrous abilities for the imminent blood-orgy.
>>17967No, the chain was crafted specifically so to allow for the full movement of normal clothes (cuz otherise a duelist suffers when armored). Also, paladins cast divine spells, so no worries.
K, so I'm seeing Tracy, Trump, Infernius(?), Torcuil, Taylor (so many T's!), leaving Norfilly
>>17965Archane spells are disrupted by armor, except by Bards and Assassins who may wear light armor.
Paladins use divine spells anyway.
>>17971BTW, you do realize you're still wearing the dimensional shackles right?
Does anyone happen to know their armor classes?
>>17974Uh, best defense is a best offense?
>>17973What do mages use?
>>17974Take dimensional shackles off pony
Nord filly summoned
>>17974I think I calculated last night that mine is 30 and Tracy's is 19
>wakes up
>don't know what has happened as it was "too much" to read...
>>17979Filly is asleep and random shit happened
Welcome back
>>17980Nerd shit. What kind of armor do you wear into battle?
>>17979Talking. And a literal blood bath
>>17981>yawns>still a bit groggy"Good Morning... I think.."
>looks around>also check if I still have my sickle >>17983"Morning little one, want some candy?"
>>17979Lewds and explanations. Will give quick rundown in a minute
>>17980Thez walks in, the air shimmering around her from a variety of enchantments and a particularly strong evil aura.
"So I guess we're doing this then. Infernius or Torcuil, do you have any protection spells, particularly for Taylor and Norfilly?"
>>17974Tracy's was light (would've upgraded a while ago, but flying mounts can't fly with anything higher) hydra-skin barding, upgraded with the plates from giants' skulls. Did she have another does of vest oil?
>>17980Nerdy crap.
It's basically degrees of armor heaviness/thickness. Higher class armor gives more protection, but also restricts mobility and spells.
Bards can cast spells in light armor without interference. Would Taylor have a studded leather jacket in her wardrobe?
>>17985"Do I want candy? Does the bear shit in the woods?"
>>17983"Good morning little one, how are you?"
>>17986"Uh, I may have soeething for Norfilly, give me a minute
>>17984If you don't have bonus points for dexterity, you'll have an AC of 15. You might get as many as +2 for dexterity
>>17986Do I have anything >>17986No need for rundown. I assume my character don't know what has happened either. And not knowing IRL makes it easier to play ignorant.
>>17989"I'm fine. Dreamt about ponies. They were playing football and Elway was there. And he taught me football. And then we played football."
>>17991Fair enough
>>17990You do, but theirs is better
>>17992Trump took 'em off, he's got the keys.
>>17993Good start, but I was thinking Magic Vestment, and maybe Greater Magic Weapon
I could suggest more spells, but Thez doesn't know them so that would be bad
>>17995"Oh, those are the best dreams. The very best.
We'll be teaching a mage a thing or two about football in an hour or less"
>>17988Language young lady!!
>>17987I probably would.
>>17990I dont even know what my stats are.
>>17996me cast those too dont worry.
Thez pulls her mask out and places it over her face, assuming the form of Urri (a hide-scrap wearing hippy).
>>18001For Taylor I have a 9 Str, 15 Dex, 10 Con, 14 Int, 14 Wis, and 15 Cha.
>>17995For Norfilly I have a 10 Str, 12 Dex, 11 Con, 13 Int, 11 Wis, and 14 Cha
>>17997Infernius should designate the tower for Word of Recall.
>>18003>>18001Studded leather gives you a +3 as well as a +2 for Dexterity, for an AC of 15
>>18005Why not the stadium concourse? It's a big stadium
>>17991Smart
>>17995"Awww, well I have a crude protection spell, but it should work"
>>18003>1 year old filly is stronger than TorcRIP in peace Torc's pride
Well, whats left of it
>>18004"Oh its fine, just be a bit more careful"
GM, does the nerd have death spells? What kind of spells should I be concerned about here?
>>18007I just rolled it, besides I doubt you're going to be doing any strength checks or anything
>>18004"You only get half the candy now, And half after the fight."
>>18006Word of recall is an emergency spell. He could designate both, but that would use up both of his 6th level spells.
>>18008Of course he does. Protections and magic circles vs. Evil are
strongly advised
>>18012i cast protection from evil on everyone.
>>18009You got me there
>>18008That just takes the fun out of it
>irl picture of Mr. Snek >>18014"Is Something funny? Why are you looking so smug?"
>>18011In your opinion, is Holy Sword, Dispel Evil, or Death Ward wiser for my level 4 spell?
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/3.5e_Paladin_Spells >>18012Infernius, get on this.
Also, be ready to flank allies with those boots and save them when the nerd spatters us.
>>18013You can omit Thez from spells, she's got herself covered
>>18021"Reeee go to the corner and stay there untill we leave!"
AFK for about the next 10 minutes, recommending doing any last minute spell-prep, strategy, or w/e. Don't think you're sneaking up on 'em, that's my last tidbit of advice.
>>18023i cast word of recall on the concession stand in the stadium once we get there