Now with less salt!
The party has had a good talk, after nearly ripping its self to pieces. They may still rip each-other to pieces, but in spite of it all the Game will go on.
The nerd and his pet are still in the stadium, kind of like in vidya RPG's where the villain is clearly occupying a particular space but the player wanders off to do side-quests and meta shit.
The tower had been filled with frogs, salt, and vitriol, but all have been cleared out and things seem to be leveling out, as both players and characters sort their differences rather than figuring out how to cause the GM to have an aneurysm or go an hero on the whole thing. Also there's kittens.
Whew, this is what you get when you mix games and the paranormal!
449 replies and 37 files omitted.
>>17398No, fuck you. I want this resolved now or never
>>17399Thats what other bread is for.
Can Tracy restock her potions?
were we gonna play tonight?
>>17413I'm in, although I'm willing to wait for Nordbro and Taylor to set themselves up.
If they haven't been scared away by all the recent faggotry.Would make for an awesome halftime show in the stadium.
>>17415I'm hanging around. Haven't felt like I had something to contribute, so I am watching some "How to be a good player" videos.
How about we agree to disagree, but not act like faggots toward one another, or else GM will start nerfing characters left and right? ^_^
>sweetest of disingenuous smiles
As far as the lingering drama, I'm just going to say (for now) that the drama "has passed, in a manner yet to be described", but so help me I WILL nerf! e_e
>>17416Glad to hear it! Is there any way I can be of assistance, lovely filly?
>>17423No icy patches to begin with due to trauma. Well technically don't tempt me with the candy, tastefull as it was, the doctor gave me. I like sweets but not big pink ones anymore.
>>17426I don't actually want to blame the candy when I think on it. I want candy now.
>>17425Sorry for the delay on that. Since he's a snake, you get an automatic +3 on bluff checks. Snek has 1/2 your hit points, has an Intelligence of 13 (though can't communicate except with you), otherwise the stats are consistent with the stats in the Monster listing.
>>17426Don't worry, I don't think anyone will permit sheisty candy.
>>17428Nice, but that brings up another question
How many hit points does Torc have?
>>17427>>17429Okay, so both of you are playing bards, though seemingly of different alignments. Any preference or idea what sorts of equipment you both would have had at time of death?
>>17430Hasn't been rolled yet, but its 15d4 + 15
>>17431I only think I had a blanket and a collection of some twigs.
Can an Efficient Quiver's contents be poured inside-out, like the Bag of Holding can?
Also, can living creatures remain in the bag, with the Necklace of Adaption on?
>>17431My guitar and my 44 magnum.
[15d4+15 = 47]>>17432>banjo dueling intensifysSo we have a filly bard, and taylor swift?
>>17433Uh, roll HP I guess?
>>17435Yes, and yes
>>17436So you're playing straight-up Taylor Swift then? Alright
>>17434Not even an instrument?
>>17438K, so 53. Snek has 26.
(yeah, you should have died when Korak shot you)
>>17436I know how to whistle... I'm only a year old
>not sure if I chose a bad starting point/backstory >>17442"I'll have ye playn the bagpipes soon enough you wee lass"
Okay maybe not died, but fallen unconscious. Troll would've saved you in that event, but yeah. Careful now, you're squishy
>>17442>is extra-squishyThis will be interesting. Being a CMC, (and having virtually no equipment or exp) I'm gonna give extra ranks in perform-singing.
>>17436Alright, but just note you only have so many bullets, and while they can be made, they'll be difficult to come by in any sort of quantity.
>>17439*Tracy add as many more knives and other sharp objects as she can to the bag*
Now, about those potions?
>>17439No im a follower of the cult of taylor. We are all named taylor, because we wish to emulate her majesty queen taylor.
>>17450IIRC, the 2 shots did a combined 56 or 57 damage, which would've put you under 0 (-10 is kill).
>>17449Thats good, cuz I was gonna reference that Ellen episode where she scared the piss outta Taylor.
>>17448That's alot of knives and sharp things. If you dump the treasure from the side pocket (you don't get quick-draw from the side pocket),... well how many sharps can you fit in a broom closet?
>>17454*Pets Filly in a very Patriotic manner*
"Have you ever heard the story of my namesake hero, little Filly?"
>>17453Meh, its ancient(?) history now. Besides, your departure wasn't much different than what would've happened anyway.
>>17455>rolls eyes"Not this shite again"
>>17456Okay.
"Now about that wankstain in the stadium"
>>17447For all intents and purposes i am taylor swift.
>>17449Can you tell me more about Taylor? Possible skills (I get firearm, perform, weapon proficiency in axe, probably some firearm feats as well) and whatever else?
>>17459What specifically did you want to know about?
>>17455I remember the one day a hippie (or what they are called) just came by one day and screamed to the farmer that lived with me that Trump would destroy the world or something. The farmer laughed and smiled the rest of the day. And I got extra candy.
>>17452*tracy disappears and dumps her treasure into her impregnable dungeon*
*she then fills it with keen-edged knives and other sharp objects as she can fit*
She has three javelins left, right?
>>17462"Well there you go little filly. Extra Candy. Damn hippies"
*Gives Candy to Filly*
>>17463Share the Treasure, Kike. We might need it to pay late tribute anyways
>>17464There's still the wagon loaded with the Jew-gold, waiting to be pulled by the draft mare.
It's kind of been spoiled that we're going to have to fight >>17458>easily surprised>>17461Well as 'essentially' TS, she would be low strength, low constitution, good dex, better int, decent wis, and high cha. She'd have ranks in Appraise, Bluff, Concentration, Diplomacy, Hide, Jump (kek), Knowledge (arcana), Listen, Lots of Perform/Profession, and Tumble. I'll save feats for later, but I'm assuming light armor proficiency, and point-blank/precise shot (assuming decent training in firearms). Anything you'd like to add (personality, habits, behavior patterns, etc. to flesh out)?
>>17462Since you're choosing a 1 y/o Filly, you're going to be the least experienced in the party, but as a CMC you're gonna have a few ranks in LOTS of skills. Any weapons to speak of?
>>17465Nah, the jew gold was put onto the tower. Korak and co waited until the last 'trip' to ambush.
>>17465Uh huh. Share Thez's Treasure. If you don't want the Inquisition after you, don't be a secret Jew
>>17468>Implying your character even knows about it>>17467Oh, so he waited until we loaded everything onto the tower before loading it.
>>17457I don't think we're gonna get to him tonight, its probably going to take a bit to finish with and introduce the new characters. At least they won't blow up,....
"Bitch," Lenos mutters. >>17466What is CMC (tried to search without luck).
For weapon I think I would like to have an.... hmmmm... I have no proficiency, but the wheat harvester my farmer used looked cool and I think could do some damage. So if there is something similar to that I want it. But I will settle for an hatchet or axe for now.
>>17469We asked one thing of you. Stop Being a kike and let's leave the drama behind. And what's the first thing you do? Be a kike with resources you don't need.
For once in your life - once - think about other people
>>17469No, they were on the tower waiting for you all to finish. Remember that listen check that I said "You hear a sneeze from the opposite side of the tower"? ^_~
Korak knew all about the all-gravity of the surface, and positioned his men so they wouldn't be seen.
>>17472Cutie Mark Crusader, and how about a sickle?
>>17471And thus, knowing he had failed
And no one would explode again
He looked out upon the sunset
A tear in his eye
And Lenos muttered a single word
"Bitch"Torc goes to talk to him about those modifycations
>>17472CMC= cutie mark crusader
Deus vult >reaches for the nerf-wand
Why, this sounds an awful lot like salt. I would hate for there to be salt in the low-sodium thread. ^_^#
>>17474Oooo.. Sickle would be nice.
>hoping it don't lead to communism>but then again killing communists with a sickle and a hammer could be fun >>17466Im the strict mom of the group.
>>17474I meant to type "before attacking us".
He was watching the whole time, vaping his sword.
>>17475As you enter the forge, you are showered with confetti.
"Hmmmm. Con... fetti... (he's writing on the rod)," he looks up. "Need somethin'?"
>>17476Because there was no intent of changing anything at all
>>17477>>17478Alright then. Both of you are free to start. You find yourself in a bare room, made entirely of an opaque glassy surface. There is a single bed, with a chest at the foot of it, made of the same glassy surface. There's a single door that is open, through which you can see what appears to be a hallway.
>>17480"Hey Lenos"
Torc brushes off the confetti and pulls out the pistols
"Hate to bother you, but can I get the barrels extened on these?"
>>17481infernuis say trump need chill.
>>17481I was going to make it story-oriented, but I'll be happy to nerf now. ^_^#
>>17482I check the chest for traps.
>>17482Is there candy in the chest? Usually is candy in chests.
Since those bombs never got made, would Lenos be interested in working some of those Dimerterium ingots into some sets of anti-magic shackles?
>>17484>>17485Nothing has changed at all. We're back in the same shit that's happened every weekend (except the one two weeks ago) for a little over a month now.
>>17486No traps
>>17487And no candy
It (they) appear to be a simple footlocker of sorts, and are empty.
>>17490Lick chest to see if the chest is made of candy.
>>17492Oh you'll fit in here just fine
BTW, you both have your stuff that you mentioned earler (blanket and sickle, and axe-guitar and magnum)
>>17496I walk to the door and open it.
>>17496>not made of candyWell then I don't understand the point of the chest.
Walks to hallway because it isn't anything happening here.
>>17478>Im the strict mom of the group.>What I first imagined:Do your volk also look like Lady Taylor?
>>17498Its open already
>>17499On one side of the hallway (the side you're coming from) is a line of 11 doors, all open. On the other side at both ends of the hallway are single doors, also open.
Nor-filly sees a skinny blond lady with an axe emerge from a close-by room, while Taylor sees an adorable purple pegasus filly in the hallway.
>>17501So many doors so little time.
Well I guess I have to look in each room to see if there is anything exciting in one of them. I turn to the right and walk down the corridor looking into each room.
>>17504GM, can I retrieve the bodies from the fight?
>Aasimar super-human eugenics cult
I like this character. Reminds me of the video too.
Is hit die attack HP or am I retarded?
>>17510Do you know where we are?
>>17512Pats cute pone on the head
>>17514Carefully puts sickle away, but I know where it is.
>>17513The filly nervously draws a sickle, but doesn't appear aggressive (at all)
(carry on, though quotes for dialogue are useful)
>>17511(# of levels for the most part)
>>17515Ive gathered that much,do you know how we got here?
>Meanwhile, the party (still covered in kittens) hears faint talking coming from the rooms.>>17516>>17518A kitten wanders into the room from one of the far doors
>>17519Clean kittens off. Also pocket kittens
>>17517I'm just going to ignore that
>>17519"DAMN ADORABLE ASS CATS"
Can be heard through out the tower
>>17518I got here by car I think.
>>17519>pets kitten, wish I had milk.... and candy >>17519I walk up to the kitten and pick her up.
>DAMN ADORABLE ASS CATS
can be heard from the direction the kitten came from
>feeling a bit unease not knowing what is happening and why people ask me so many questions
>>17526"you underestimate my POWER!!!!!!!!!!"
continues to hug them all
>>17531With those arms... I guess you can
>>17525I say "follow me little horse" then i follow the voice.
>>17521Okay, now I know (thx google)
Does gun get modifyed?
Tracy, still carefully wading through the adorable cats, angles her ears at the sound of activity in the hallway.
>>17532Be more specific
>>17528"I've never worked with this material, it might take me some time. I'll see what I can do"
>>17538Head outside to where I can fly off to retrieve bodies
>>17536The voices sound like they're approaching.
>>17538How far away is the site?
^ the open door at bottom left is where the sounds/kitten are/did coming from (for Taylor and Norway)
>>17541I don't understand your meaning. First you were talking about corpses, now you're talking about a site? What corpses. Be specific, there's now 6 ppl talking.
>>17545I mean the location of the corpses
>>17545Walks downstairs going towards the outside is what I mean
Alright. Multiple perspectives now, and I'm not going to bother sussing out where everyone was, I'm putting them at the base of the stairs.
Taylor and Norway exit the door into a much larger hallway, map related. The structure is made of the same glassy substance, and there are literally hundreds of kittens milling about. At the north end of the hallway is the beginnings of a staircase, with a red-furred minotaur, and a dude in resplendent armor.
Meanwhile, Trump and Infernius hear footsteps approaching, as well as someone whistling a tune.
>>17552And some complementary guitar
*detects guitar and whistling*
"Looks like we've finally got some company."
>>17553>>17554Well shit, head towards the guitar and whistle. Pick up a kitten or two while doing so
Alright, everyone (mostly) is approaching one another. On one end is the pegasus filly and a skinny blond girl with a guitar-axe, on the other end is a shiny human in resplendent armor, and the minotaur who is holding as many kittens as he can (which is alot, I'm thinking like 30)
>assuming the minotaur and the dude pose no danger because they would have killed the kittens if they did
So I walk to the stairs to look
>>17558HUGGING KITTENS INTENSIFIES
Minotaur is hugging, Taylor and Filly approach Trump
>>17562"Be careful, you big oaf. Don't hurt them..." *trails off*
>>17565"Greatings! I am Trumpaladin, defender of Port Barry, spreader of the word of Football, and devoted the great DJT. I feel like I've seen you somewhere before, like on TV?"
>>17566"HOLY HELL! A FILLY!"
*Tries not to die from cuteness*
\r
>>17567I thought you were talking with Lenos
>>17570GM, am I carrying Peach Rings?
>>17570I thought he was still visible from there (wasn't it Lenos who filled the area with cats?)
*turns to investigate commotion*
>>17568"I am Lady Taylor The Swift of DeutchesAmerika, i feel as if we have met before as well"
The four in the hallway (as well as the 2 in the forge hear) "OMG THERE'S SO MANY KITTENS!!!"
>>17572Yes, but he went with Torcuil to modify pistols. (I'm gonna have to step up my game)
>>17571You can be, yes
>>17574>>17569"Please refrain from scareing her!"
>>17575Tracy leaves to investigate the sounds.
"Well, what do we have here?"
>>17573"I do not know what DuetchesAmerika is, but I like the sound of it. I am from the old America. Land of the Brave, Home of the Free. I fought to defend Her."
Assumes a crouching position. Pulls Peach Rings and a Kitten from pockets, opening the peach ring bag. Look at filly
"It's okay little filly"
Offers peach rings out in extended hand
>>17577Oh my taylor i-is it really y-you tracy cage?
A pastel-blue pony enters from around the corner from the staircase. At the same time, a multi-kitten form with purple legs slowly lumbers its way down the staircase, lamenting "Can't hug every cat."
>>17582"Hello little filly? Where did you come from? What is your name?"
>>17585"Careful Inferius. We have new people here in the hallway"
"Ooof! I'nis you oaf, its me!" Thez grunts.
>>17579"It depends who's asking."
>>17578"It is truly the most wonderful place on Erde"
>>17591"Aww. How old are you?"
*pets filly*
>>17590*extends other hand to see if pony will let herself be petted*
>>17591Torc would probaly start crying if he heard this
Good thing he isn't
>>17587at seeing its thez i hug her even more "me missed you when you were gone:
>>17592"Erde. I'm guessing we're not from the same place. No matter. I think we all have a common enemy. Are you good at killing things?"
From Infernius' (the minotaur's) hug Thez notices the new additions, and a bit of blood shoots out of her nose.
"Is that,..."
>>17596"You're so precious. Do you need a place to stay? Actually, do you need anything, really?"
*walks into the group*
*sees filly*
*newly-augmented hormones swirl a bit*
"O-oh.. ..hello."
>>17593*is unresponsive, but accepting*
>>17590*clearly flustered*
I- im lady taylor the swift i like the memes your i- in your my favorite pony.
>>17598Torc walks in, guns spinning around his fingers
"Guess who just became our snip..."
Guns fall to ground as he sees the new party members
"Well thats adorable as hell"
Now torc has diabeetus from how sweet the filly is
>>17600*tries to pet pony anyways, although cautiously*
>>17602"TOURCIL! PUT AWAY THOSE GUNS!"
>>17599"I-i don't know. I think I was staying in the room there"
>vaguely points in the direction of the hallway"But I am going to go back to the big red house the farmer I live with built in a while. I am a bit tired so I hope I don't have to wait to long before I go home."
Thez <whooofs (teleports)> from Infernius' arms and appears next to Taylor.
"OMG! YOU'RE,... (reverently) Taylor Swift!" she exclaims, more blood shooting from her nose. Meanwhile, the kittens she was carrying are now crawling over Infernius.
"OMGOMGOMG!"
>>17601"Hmmm..." *peers perceptively at battleaxe-guitar, somewhat impressed* "You've got some interesting taste in edge.."
"Well, nice to meet ya'." She says with a cocky smile.
>>17603"Relax, the safety was on. I'm not retarded."
Torc pics them up, and puts them in his belt. He crouchs down, and looks at the filly
He then mouths at Trump
"Who is she?"
>>17604No, no no no NO STAHP
>>17604"Little Fillie. Little Fillie. I'm sorry I have to tell you this. It was very hard for me to hear too, very hard. You can't go back to the big red house or to the farmer. Not ever. You're going to have to stay here. With us. Well, somewhere on this world anyways"
>>17607"I guess we're going to have to teach her how to operate an AR15 before too long anyways. She doesn't have a name. She came in here from the doors, like us."
>>17608Torc slaps Trump
"Don't say it like that" he hisses
>>17609Well, you're playing this well
>>17610This
>>17608"Don't the farmer want me to stay with him anymore? He used to give me candy so I think he liked me."
>>17611Trump stops petting the two ponies, and turns to look at Tourcil
"What? She had to hear sooner or later."
>>17612"Oh he does. He does like you. It's just that you're far away. So very far away"
>>17605I am Lady Taylor the swift who are you?
>>17614"I think I may have misinterpreted something the other night. Misjudged"
>>17606Im like you're biggest fan.