Welcome, lurkers, to our fabulous thread.
In this thread, we continue our journey in which our party (yet unnamed), embarks on an epic quest to thwart the assault of the Red Hand army on Elsir Vale, racing to prepare for the assault before the might horde ends the world as they know it.
The game is a long-term d&d campaign that run on the 3.5e system. It is mostly played on this board, with partial support on discord.
General details of the campaign can be found here:
>>132102 →Now, the party left off at the end of the evacuation of Drellin's Ferry, the townsfolk fleeing ahead of the advance of the horde. The Red Hand forces are mighty, and the party has been able to accomplish little to hinder the army, although the vengeful fury of a certain giant and his granddaughters may have bought the villagers some time, as distant sounds of thunder echo from the hills.
In part one, the party learned some vital information, from the the Wyrmlord Koth's notes, map, and conversations with many characters along the way
>The Red Hand horde means business. If it is going to be stopped, that will have to be at Brindol, the only place in Elsir Vale with a standing army large enough and the fortifications necessary to have a chance against such a large force.>Monsters are blocking the roads to the north, blocking any chance of reinforcements for Brindol>One of the leaders of the Red Hand is in the ruined city of Rhest.>The horde is going to steamroll the towns east of Drellin’s Ferry and keep going.>A powerful wizard named Cromar is retired in the BlackfensA partial archive of Part I can be found here:
>>133942 →And with that, let the games begin.
332 replies and 44 files omitted.
>>140888Trips checked, and I'll throw in some extra info if either of you make these checks.
>>140889[1d20+8 = 14] Sense Motive
>>140891You notice the hobgoblin's right eye visibly widen and twitch at the phrase:
>Are you trying to summon Tiamatbefore returning to the same angry glare.
>>140893The plot chickens
>>140889"Thanks for nothing, there. Next question, what kind of numbers are we up against? I don't care if you give me some rough estimate with one real number and a bunch of zeros or an exat headcount of all of you, but some noghing answer like 'a lot' or 'enough to drown you fuckers in' will just result in me asking until I get that real answer.
>>140894*exact and *nothing
>>140893Int check in place of untrained Knowledge (Religion) (or planes, or whatever applies)
How the fuck does summoning a god even work? Would it be an avatar or something? Can Aral even guess at it?
[1d20+5 = 19]Also to determine whether he even understands how bad this even is, if nothing else.
>>140896how do I assist with this roll?
>>140897I don't know if you put points into knowledge religion (but I mean, you are a cleric, so you have it as a class skill)
But if nothing else, the aid another is like:
Roll the same skill, if it's higher than 10, then you get to add a +2 to the other player's roll. You might be better off to just roll your own tho.
>>140898fair enough, I'll just assume you told me what you're thinking about and make my own roll
[1d20+9 = 18]
>>140899well then
I guess we know about as much as each other
>>140900If you have it trained, you still probably know more. Untrained checks allow for common and basic knowledge only iirc.
>>140901does trained knowledge affect something separately from having it as a skill?
>>140894The goblin, possessing high Wisdom but rather low Int, is glad to continue berating your with unintelligoble slurs and let info about the Red Hand slip as he continues to threaten you with Doom
He gobbles in laughter
"Gobgobgobgobgobgob! You have no hope! There are too many of us! Thousands of us march from the human river town as we speak! The giant-ones have joined us, and dragons soar overhead. Saarvith readies to end the swamp elves, and soon even the Lion King will follow us! Gobgobgobgobgob!" the goblin divulges, stupidly
>>140896>>140899Summoning a monster is one thing, summoning a god is another. Sustaining a god on the prime material plane permanently is unheard of, but would be apocalyptic if it occurred.
In any case, it would involve the powers of a mighty spellcaster, and a sacrifice of great value. It would be a truly apocalyptic event, were it to unfold.
>>140903Can I roll something to see if I can figure out who the Lion King and Saarvith are?
>>140904Saarvith is unfamiliar.
Aral immediately recognizes the "swamp elves" as the Tiri Kitor Wild Elves in the Blackfens.
Roll knowledge (religion) to see what you might know of this supposed "lion king".
The hobgoblin cultist suddenly looks nervous, as if he's said too much.
"B-but, he isn't doing anything important there. Who is Saarvith anyway?"
>>140906Elsir Vale is home to a powerful lich, commonly known as The Ghostlord, who resides in an ancient temple devoted to lions. The Ghostlord is only spoken of in legend, but his power is said to be unmatched.
>>140907"Nice try, faggot. Anything else you'd like to share with us, since I'm sure you now realize that you can't dig yourself any deeper, or would you rather take it up with your countrymen the next time we see them?"
>>140908"N-never! You won't get anything from me! The Lady awaits me!" The cultist declares
>>140909"She may await you, but first you gotta check back in with her gatekeepers. So, would you rather be executed for treason because you were a dumbass, or because you actually committed treason?"
>>140910The goblin scowls, and lands a perfect 20 to spit right through the visor on your helmet, cursing unintelligibly in at least three languages.
>>140911I remove my helmet, wipe the pit from my eye, wipe it back on one of the restrained bits of the hobgoblin, and whistle for my horse
"Daisy, c'mere."
>>140912*spit
I am just full of typos today
>>140912Once my horse is there, I get back on her and have her stamp the gobbo's legs into paste
Anybody want a piece of the hobgoblin before I say the interrogation's over?
>>140916I'm gonna piss on him.
>>140915Sorry, not high enough to get plot relevant info.
The DM says with a sigh of relief.However, you do know that "The Lion King" is another name given to a horrible monster that haunts the Thornwastes. It is a region that no other druids in the vale dare approach.
>>140917Roll a Dexterity (pissing) check, add your base attack bonus.
Horse form gives a +4 racial bonus.
>>140919>Sorry, not high enough to get plot relevant info.Hold my Knowledge (Nature).
[1d20+12 = 29]
>>140917>>140918Fair enough.
I tell the gobbo "Then I guess you're dying a dumbass." and put him back wherever he was while we were transporting him while we were between towns. As for what to do next, why don't we take all this info over to Pelor's bros and see if they can help us out with any of it, assuming
>>140920 somehow turns up nothing
>>140922Me and Misty piss on him.
>>140920[Sighs]
I really shouldn't be telling you this before part 2 even begins, but I already spoiled in in that ghost-nonsense encounter, so...
The Druids of the Tiri Kitor are old enough to have told you about something called a "Blighter" a wicked ex-druid who has turned against the natural order. The Ghostlord, or "Lion King", is one such Druid, a mage of unmatched power who haunts the Thornwastes.
>>140922 (dubs)
The Cleric is completely covers in piss.
He REEEEEEEEEs a mighty REEEEEEEEEEEEEE as Jorr's dogs join the party.
>>140921Jorr helps you tie up the piss-soaked cultist, who writhes in fury as he is gagged.
The hobgoblin's attitude has once again become hostile.
What we learned today:
>The Red Hand are fanatical followers of the devil Tiamat>The horde has already begun marching from Drellin's Ferry>The unknown lord of the horde has ambitions that surpass the conquest of Brindol>Red Hand veterans and cultists fear not death, for they mean that deserting means sacrifice on the altar of Tiamat>Int is a dump stat for Clerics>Elves in trouble>McGuffin in the Blackfens(?!)>The "Lion King", a monster of unmatched power, may join the fray>>140926Now I read this book and do some work for class registration.
>>140927A solid decision. Happy reading and GL on that registration work!
>>140927>int is a dump stat for clericscan confirm...
Okay, I'm going to try to actually be prepared for the session this week.
Okay, as I mentioned earlier in the server, I've taken the liberty to do a bit of retconning to the session two weeks ago. It was my mistake to replace a lvl 4 low-op Fighter with a lvl 4 high-op Warblade with a x4 crit modifier.
>muf favored weapon of TiamatBecause of that I derailed the game and created the "revive Henry" sidequest that forces the party to go to Brindol.
So, with that being said.
>A magical golden elephant (see: Hollyphant) flies by and revives Henry immediately after he dies>Henry remains lvl 6 because reasons>Dumbo is immediately torn apart by randomly-spawning demons>the demons are promptly smited by a randomly-teleporting Paladin on a Door Crusade casting Door To Great Evil:>http://dnd.arkalseif.info/spells/ghostwalk--94/door-to-great-evil--1384/index.html#:~:text=Door%20to%20great%20evil%20guarantees,with%20a%20way%20to%20return>Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film promptly teleports away on his prismatic dyke horse, to do important paladin stuff elsewhere>An Ethereal Filcher pops in from the Astral Plane and steals the +1 Dragonfang Heavy pick and the priceless blue diamond from Jorr's Bag>"REEEEEEEE! Dagnabbit! Bloody, plowin' Filchers!">A random Hobgoblin Bladebearer charges out of the woods and attacks the party>She is immediately shot to death by Jorr, who got a sneak attack, and finished off by his dogs>She Drops two identical +1 Dragoncraft clawed gauntlets (spiked gauntlets, but slashing), and two more potions of Enlarge Person (the party has 3 now).>An Invisible, flying Wizard helpfully tells Aral that the Ice arrows he found were actually made of Stygian Ice>John J. Abrams, said Wizard, accidentally steps on a planar manifest zone, and enjoys an all expense paid vacation to the 5th layer of Baator, only to return when his player is able to commit to playing consistentlyI know it's gay, but this will make it more enjoyable for everyone.
And so, the party leaves off on day 12, having just finished interrogating the Piss Goblin. It is no longer necessary to go to Brindol to revive Henry, but you may if you wish to.
You could also see what Norro Wiston said about Cromar being in danger in the Blackfens.
Or check out the blockades on the Rhest Trail that the lion lady mentioned, in that area.
Or see what this "Saarvith" guy is planning in the Blackfens to unleash on the elves there.
I turned time back to day 12 because stuff happens in-game regardless of whether or not the PCs move to the next milestone. Also because I don't think anybody absorbed that you could get to both the blackfens and the Rhest Trail via the Elsir River.
After you get to the next milestone
(It's in the Blackfens), I will raise the entire party to lvl 7, and switch the game back to XP based leveling.
Also, everyone in the party receives 8 action Points for the remainder this level, since I'm too retarded to know when to fudge a diceroll in the party's favor:
https://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/adventuring/actionPoints.htmDepending on how you use these, I may make it a permanent part of the game.
>>141435No matter what we do, I nominate that our official secondary objective goes from whatever it was before to "find a silver dragon and convince it to help us"
>>141436Seconding this.
it's more like "bribe a slutty dragoness to be our cum dumpster."
As for what I vote we do right now, we take a quick look at brindol to make sure things aren't on fire yet and then go get that free milestone and level saarvith guy so we can stop him
>>141436Noted. I'll see if that fits on my map.
Silver Dragon Wyrmlings are ECL 11 though...
>>141438You are near Talar, and you haven't heard any news from Brindol except that refugees are still evacuating in that direction, so you can rest assured that shit has not hit the fan (yet).
>tfw my trove PDFs aren't working anymore ;_;
>>141440So then I guess we go in whatever direction the blackfens are in, if nobody objects
>>141439I'm down for waiting till we're qualified to fuck young dragonesses.
>>141441Yep.
>>141441Alright. The only meta reason to go to the city would've been shops and stuff, but going towards the story is kind of important too. Blackfens it is.
>>141443Ah, heheh.. Good choice. No railroading here...
So, you can either go by boat, or head up the Rhest Trail North of Talar. At this point, I'm situating you guys around Talar, so it'd be quicker on horseback.
You can do any essential shopping in Talar before you move to the Rhest trail. All mundane provisions are available, and low-cost magic items can be found as the merchants dump their stocks for shekels.
Also, since I guess trying to hold back map info to avoid metagaming is a lost cause, I managed to find a map of Elsir Vale with all secret doors removed:
Okay, assuming you guys left on day 10, canonizing the two encounters I ran, it should have taken you 5-6 days to reach the Blackfens, *assuming* nothing else happened along the way.
This info is revealed with Aral's Geography check, inferring from his own memory of the Blackfens, and the Red Hand map.
You rested in Talar on day 13, and went north to Witchcross after suddenly deciding there was nothing worth doing in Brindol for now.
Did you guys want to bring the piss goblin with you?
>>141446yeah, I'm bringing him with us. He may yet prove useful in other ways, anyway. Also, I'd like to note that in case any more gobbos show up, I have my helmet put away so that they don't immediately try to focus me down for being the ultimate heretic or something.
>>141446>Did you guys want to bring the piss goblin with you?Would it hurt to bring him?
>>141448Jorr has him tied up and gagged, and he can't cast anything without his unholy symbol. You could feasibly drag him there, but you don't really sense anything else useful from him.
Only drawback on my part is occasionally having to roleplay him.
>>141447Got it.
Now, does anybody have something they want to buy or sell in Talar?
>>141449>Now, does anybody have something they want to buy or sell in Talar?What's on the counter of options?
>>141449I have all of jack and shit to sell, so I guess I'd like to hear the list of buying options too
>>141450As i said in the server, mundane provisions are available, including special materials, and low-cost magic items are available (feather tokens, potions, weapon augmentation crystals, scrolls, etc). As the merchants dump their stocks for shekels in wake of the coming horde.
>>141452any specific kinds of feather tokens present/ removed from that list?
>>141452What kind of potions other than the ordinary?
>>141452>weapon augmentation crystalsWasn't aware those were an option. How do those work and which ones are available?
>>141451>>141454Potions of lesser vigor are available. You can barter one cure potion and one flask of alchemical healing paste for a Lesser Vigor potion.
A rare oil of Personal Weapon Augmentation is for sale. You can have it for you can have it for 300 gp.
All feather tokens are available: Price 50 gp (anchor), 300 gp (bird), 200 gp (fan), 450 gp (swan boat), 400 gp (tree), 500 gp (whip).
One merchant is selling a Gray Bag Of Tricks for 800 gp. Less than usual.
And it seems as though a set of Druid's Vestments are going for 3,750 gp. Just over a third of its usual price.
Magic Arrows are sold individually for the price of 50 of said arrows divided by 50.
Really, if you guys want a low-cost magic item, I'll let you buy it. Nothing over 4000 gp is here though.
>>141456>>141455You'll have to check the Magic Item Compendium. My trove link is broken.
>>141457question, if we sell off all the garbo we've collected so far and sold it all, how much dosh would we each get from it? Because if I can get around 200 gp, then I'll buy a lesser crystal of life drinking, and if not, then I'll just get a least one
>>141451I would like to inform you that the piss goblin was wearing a decent suit of +1 banded mail, before Jorr looted him.
If you want to sell your old armor, that's can be done.
>>141458It depends on what you sell and were you sell it, but magic item often sell for half their market price.
>>141457I'm not going to buy anything.
>>141460I guess I'm taking the hobgobbo's armor and ditching my old suit. Also, is there anything that would indicate to me where would be the best place to sell off our collective loot so as to get the biggest pile to distribute?
>>141463If you make a really good diplomacy check, I'll let you sell all of your stuff for %55 of its market price.
Reminder that gems, treasure and art items sell for their full price. They're basically currency.
Also, I would like everyone to sort out what they took from the last few encounters. Unclaimed loot will be taken by Jorr and sold for expensive dog food.
>>141464Anybody care if I take everything we don't care about, sell it off, and bring back the money?
>>141464I'm gonna keep the idol of Ehlonna but sell pretty much whatever else.
>>141465Go ahead.
>>141466That's one yes, any input from Aral?
>>141467Sure. Check the inventory channel, there was even unclaimed currency in there. I support you being in charge of collecting and splitting up that shit.
>>141465Please discuss it with the party. I think there's quite a bit of unclaimed loot in the inventory channel.
In game, you would be aware that the Red Hand Horde is going to trample town after town in the coming days. Chances to buy and sell items will be increasingly scarce, and resource management will make the difference between winning and losing.
>>141468Alright, taking all of our unclaimed garbage and selling it!
[1d20+11 = 14]Selling:
-1 lapis
-1 onyx
-Iron samurai mask
-Electrum cloth vest
-Silk hunter's cap with sable trim
-both +1 dragoncraft clawed gauntlets
-my old scale mail
>>141471I would like to give Henry's player a chance to claim some of those before final decisions are made.
Fyi, if you don't intend to buy something with the funds, the gems and art items are worth carrying around because they're effectively lighter weight currency. You should be factoring the weight of gold and silver into your carrying capacity.
>50 pieces = 1 pound of metalArt items also count as masterwork tools for whatever skill you can justify them relating to.
The scale mail sells for 25 gp. Add that money to your sheet.
>>141473fair enough, I'll add the +25 gp to my stash, hold off on selling anything until we can sort out the inventory management, and probably have to wait until next week to actually see if I can purchase what I want to or not
>>141479What do you want?
>>141480I'd like the lesser crystal of life drinking, but I'm 110 gp short and I'm pretty sure my charisma won't be getting me any discounts if my previous roll is of any indication.
>>141481A lesser Crystal Of life drinking only heals 30 hp a day. You might be better off buying potions of lesser vigor, a healing belt, or just casting spells.
A lesser augmentation crystal can only be equipped to a weapon of +1 quality. You would need acquire a +1 Mace or other weapon to attach it to, unless you intend to attatch it to your horned helmet.
>>141488so I'd just be better off getting the least one anyway?
>>141490You'd be better off not getting one at all, but sure you can buy a least one.
The piss goblin dropped a masterwork mace, btw.
>>141492Then I guess I'll just buy a belt of healing, claim that masterwork mace in
>>141492 and then promptly sell it off too since it's functionally identical to my current mace from what I can tell.
>>141488based digits
>A lesser augmentation crystal can only be equipped to a weapon of +1 qualitySo, assuming it would work with my +1 composite longbow (or +1 blade), how much would a Lesser Crystal of Energy Assault cost with the merchants fleeing and all that?
>>141494I just realized I responded to a post and then quoted it later in the same post... Somebody kill me IRL
>>141494The healing belt is a good items. Between two of those and your spontaneous channeling, the party should have more than enough healing.
The healing belt is a common enough item to be found. You can buy it for 750 gp, which is also the cost of a wand of lesser vigor or cure light wounds.
>>141497A lesser augmentation crystal of energy assault is going to cost you 3000 gp. You conveniently find a merchant who has one.
>>141500Shit. Only have 2365.
How much would throwing in my armor net me? It's a Mithral Chain Shirt.
>>141500I'll just buy the healing belt, that seems good for me.
>>141500also, how much does selling the masterwork mace get me?
>>141502You had a spare mithral chain shirt in the vault loot, iirc.
Your Star Ruby is worth 1200 gp, btw.
I'm going to go eat lunch now.
>>141504You can sell the mace for 154 gp.
>>141506Then I sell the mace too.
>>141506>Star RubyRight. I was under the impression someone else took it, to be honest. But double checking it, it seems nobody did. (Someone absolutely should have.)
So, if this is right, then I use my gold and the ruby to buy a lesser augmentation crystal of energy assault (electricity), sell the spare chain shirt, leaving me with 565 gp + whatever the mithral chain shirt sells for.
This remaining gold is now available for anyone to augment their shopping needs, as according to my own logic encountering that specific loot pile, the ruby is technically common party loot. So feel free to claim it for a purchase now if you're just short of moneys to get something.
>>141507 >>141493(Otherwise I'll split it up once we're done with shopping and inventory stuff.)
>>141508I thought you got the star Ruby and Hamfist got the Star Sapphire.
>>141512I took the blue star sapphire from that encounter. In the server I said I would like to sell that and one of the +1 elven blades. You answered I get a 1000 gp for those. If we are indeed talking about the chimera loot, and the 1000 gp is accurate for selling those 2, then just ignore my previous post, as I has no access to the ruby.
In case you guys didn't see the message on the server, everybody gains an extra 1500 gp to spend on whateverthefuck.
>>141515You can get 700 gp for the chain shirt.
I was indeed referring to the chimera loot.
Okay, after the party did their business in Talar, they would go north past Witchcross towards where they were told the Blockade should be.
As the evening of day 15 closes in, I'm giving Aral's player a chance to scout ahead.
>Up ahead, a crude, 10 ft high palisade of logs has been been erected across the road, extending forty feet to either side and completely blocking all passage. A squat, 20 ft watchtower looms in the middle of the palisade. You catch a glimpse of movement up in the tower, and spy a hobgoblin archer leaning against a post with his chin on his chest.
So yes. There is indeed a blockade on Rhest Trail, just before the Blackfens.
>dicerolls
Aral hears the sounds of hobgoblins boasting about battle, and boredom of being left out of the killing down south.
He also hears the sounds of what you can only assume to be a couple large (not huge) giants snoring.
Okay, it looks like our Warblade has been swapped out for a Crusader. I wish his player had told me that before I retconned him back to life, but that's just what happened.
Everyone spent the past week doing inventory.
Chad spent day 13 building a shrine of Ehlonna in the Witchwood, by casting grow plants and wood shape. He placed his unicorn totem there in doing so, the value of which will be considered tithes paid to the Assembly Of Balance.
The party rests at Witchcross on day 15. That evening, Aral and Jorr scout ahead to investigate the blockade. They were able to detect at least 8 humanoids and two giants.
And so, without further ado.
random phase spider appears and drags Henry Hamfist into the void
>>141912He's going to Brazil
>>141912Those crafty phase spooders
>>141912It wants to suck him off
My character is a goliath amazonian covered in an unruly mass of heavy and crude crystal plating, who is wielding what appears to be a giant hammer made of jagged and poorly shaped crystal.
A hulking amazonian goliath stumbles out of the woods while extremely drunk and looks around. "Why the fuck is the road blocked?"
>>141917"Goblins." a shit-faced drunken woodsman says, drunkenly
"Blockin' the roads. Ready fo' war..." he mumbles
>>141918The amazon ponders a solution for a moment. "I'm gonna fucking smash it to smithereens."
Aral was able to make out the basic structure of the blockade as something like this:
Player Map of the Blackfens
>>139447Updated list.
3rd level spells:
Sleet storm
Call lightning
2nd level:
Bull's strength
Chill metal
Flaming sphere
1st level:
Calm animals
Faerie fire
Entangle
Produce flame
Cure light wounds
Level 0:
Guidance
Detect magic
Flare
Purify food and drink
Mending
>>141923[happy horse noises]
DAY 16; Morning
We'll begin the encounter as soon as I figure out who is approaching from what angle, and in what order.
Geee, planning takes forever.
Combat starting now though.
to the amazonian goliath: "Thanks for helping us out and all, but who the fuck are you?"
In the chest you guys find.
>White tiger pelt
>Orange tiger pelt
>500 gp
>a pair of silk slippers
>strange ointment
A naked elf and a naked dwarf both fall out of the sack the other ogre was carrying. Both women. They're both unconscious. The elf is gagged with an apple; the dwarf with an onion.
Apparently the ogres were saving these two to eat later.
The goliath has already called dibs on the slippers and the ointment as well as the elf. She'll claim the dwarf as well if nobody wants it.
Vomeo(the female goliath) rubs some of the strange ointment onto her pointer finger and jams it into the elf's cunt before slapping the smaller woman across the face. The goliath then waits to see what the ointment does.
>>141932"Who the fuck are you?"
>>141929"My name is Vomeo Woundchaser Kolakalathi. I was trying to find my way back to town after getting into a drinking contest with some other goliaths in the woods."
>>141932Anon, are you sure you want to do that?
>>141934"Fair enough. Thanks for the help there, the pervert and his horse probably wouldn't have made it otherwise."
>>141935You're right. Vomeo will put her ointment covered finger into the dwarf's cunt before slapping her awake instead of doing it to the elf. That way I still have the elf if something happens to the dwarf.
>>141937My character has gauntlets on so it won't get onto her hands
>>141937And I stand by on medical duty in case shit goes south
>>141936"Don't mention it. Looks like it paid off anyways."
>>141937... Okay.
The both remain unconscious. Vomeo has used two out of five of the applications in the bottle.
And her alignment changes from CG to CN.
>>141941Works for me. I'll try to shake the dwarf awake.
Anybody else want to identify these items before they're used up?
>>141942The dwarf remains unconscious.
>>141943split the dosh? 4 people is 125 each
>>141944That's doable.
Meta: Vomeo just used up quite a bit of money worth of ointment.
It's clearly magical.
Oh, now that I look at it, the women should slowly awaken after the ointment is applied.
They both get up.
>>141946"So who are you?"
>>141947Are they both still tied up?
>>141948"I am Chad of the mountain mist, my greatest ally is this horse, my plum pudding."
Vomeo uses three of her healing belts to heal Aral, Chad, and Misty for 6d8 HP each.
Aral gets back 29 HP, Misty gets back 17, and Chad gets back 19.
Vomeo leans down and tilts the elf and dwarves chins up so they're meeting her eyes. "How did you end up captured by goblins?"
>>141953Pardon I was eating.
The elf and dwarf, after some time recovering, explain that they'd been captured by hobgoblins in one of the various raids that have been scouring the countryside lately.
>>141955“Well it sucks to be you.” Vomeo says while using 10ft of her rope to make collars and hand ties for the two women.
>>141956"Now hold on, I have an idea."
>>141955I ask the two of them "What kind of skills do you have?"
>>141957"I bake cookies." says the elf
"I butchered hogs in Nimon Gap." says the dwarf
>>141958so that's a fat no... Alright, whichever one Vomeo likes less is being set free and told to get the fuck out of dodge.
>>141959I’ll keep the elf and let the dwarf go.
>>141960Since I’m letting the dwarf go, I’ll use the 10ft of rope to make one collar, one leash, and a hand tie to keep the elf’s hands bound. Doing this instead of making two collars and two hand ties.
>>141961Dude, are you really going to drag an elf through knee-deep, monster-infested mud?
>>141961Wait, I thought you said in the server that you'd let the elf go and keep the dwarf instead?
Okay. Aral, you know that Starsong hill, the home of the elves, is further east. Rhest is more readily accessible, being the remains of an ancient kingdom.
>rolled some checks.
Your journey north is uneventful, and you turn onto the trail beside the road into the Blackfens
Almost immediately after you turn onto the Blackfens, the ground gets really, really, really muddy.
Aral feels crestfallen as he gets mud all over his new magic shoes. Nothing a little prestigitation won't fix though.
Aral, I would like yout to roll a survival check to see how well you're able to traverse the swamp.
>>141962Yes
>>141963Nah it’s the other way around unless Aral wants me to free the elf instead of the dwarf on account of them both being elves.
>>141965Where are you keeping the dwarf?
>>141966we're letting the dorf go, right?
>>141964[1d20+10 = 28] Survival
>>141965Yeah I just thought you already agreed to that. I would like to request it again then.
>>141966Letting the dwarf go since I’m taking the elf. The elf has a collar with a leash attached and her hands are bound behind her back. My character doesn’t care if she dies.
>>141968Alright then the elf gets freed and the dwarf is the one I’m jeeping
>>141968With a check like that, you're able to avoid some of the deadly sinkholes and exploding pockets of gas.
>>141970>>141972Where are you keeping it?
>>141973What about the sack that ogre was carrying? He could put the midget back in there.
>>141973To fuck and so she can do menial labor while we’re camping
Phase spiders suddenly snatch up the elf and dwarf bitches.
Because I don't feel like roleplaying them anymore.
Okay, so still in the morning of day 16 you guys are trudging through the mud in the Blackfens. Aral's survival check has saved you from multiple sinkholes and explosions, but you're still making very slow progress to the ruins of Rhest.
Jorr grumbles something about the Witchwood being a lot dryer.
Aral, I would like you to roll a survival check that may or may not dictate how many random encounters you guys get in this biome.
>>142549[disappointed GM noises]
Alright, Aral was able to steer the party away from an entire mob of aquatic ghouls, three bog hags, and a trail at which the party would have found themselves waist-deep in rot grubs.
Still, that took up several hours of trudging through the mud, hoping from dry point to dry point. You are all very wet and stinky.
Except for Chad, who gets to watch the rest of you guys suffer from the back of his magical flying horse.
DAY 16; AROUND NOON
And before the rest of you guys ask if you might have wanted to fight those monsters, note that none of them would have had treasure; and they would have exhausted your resources before you got to the real encounters.
However, there's one thing that Aral didn't see, as a burbling shape rises from the mud before the party.
Everyone meet me in #combat for initiative.
Aral knows that this fearsome beast is a chuul. A large, crustacean-like Aberration with strong pincers and paralytic tentacles. Try to avoid letting yourselves or your horses being grappled.
Okay, Aral cuts open the Chuul and finds...
*rolls table*
>realizes I rolled a CR 11 loot pile
*rolls again*
>it's still freaking 99 percentile roll
e_e
Are all of the fucking random encounters going to have bullshit treasure rolls?
Okay, in this fat fucking bastard's Chuul's gizzard, you find:
>A set of +1 electrum plate armor (1000 gp art value)
>Feathered Gloves (100 gp) (ruined)
>Fine Leather Shoes (300 gp) (digested)
>Gold Figurine (of an Angel) (900 gp)
>Leopard Fur Tabard (1300 gp) (acid burned)
>Pewter Dice (pair) (70 gp)
>Folding Boat
>Wand of invisibility (7 charges) (totally didn't have 43 charges); runes imply function
>Wand of Cure Moderate Wounds (23 charges)
>A Motherfucking Ring Of Protection (+2), runes on its side imply its function.
>Robe Of Useful Items[/-] (digested)
>+1 Mithril Heavy Steel Shield
>+2 [i]Flaming longbow
I'd would've thrown away that last one if it weren't so goddamn perfect for Aral. This is your weapon for the rest of the entire campaign. Don't break it.
How this chuul (albeit an advanced one) managed to swallow a 15th level item is beyond me.
And a fuckton of humanoid bones, human, lizadfolk, elf and goblinoid alike. Apparently this fat bastard has had a good year. Must have eaten a king or two.
Okay, now that you spoiled fucks are filthy rich. You can decide how much you want to heal up before I ready the next encounter for this day, after your done splitting the loot.
>mfw the monster yields 11 times the recommended treasure value because I decided to roll instead of just picking from a list.
Oh well, too late to take it back. Maybe a bit of Monty Halling will get us this game a bit faster.
The Chuul, much like a lobster, begins to rapidly deteriorate into inedible ooze shortly after it dies, much to Jorr's dismay.
With a few words from Jorr (after his own survival check), Aral slowly realizes that it's unlikely that the party is going to get all the way to Rhest at this rate. You guys are going to want to take a slight detour to find some dry land if you want to rest comfortably tonight.
Okay, Aral rolled well enough in the server to find some forested area that seems a bit safer to travel and rest on, at the cost of a slight detour. This is good, because the horses were getting increasingly difficult to coax through the mud, so much that I was going to force rolling some checks.
He also dodges the horde of drowners and hags I wanted to throw at the party. Maybe some other day.
As the evening settles in on the swamp, the party eventually makes camp, assuming you guys want arcane spells and complete healing.
>>142561if we're taking a long rest, then I guess I prepare the same spells that I've been preparing
As you guys are trudging across the Blackfens, looking for high ground, Aral, then Chad/Misty, and then Jorr spot something ahead:
>A low, mossy island of mud and peat protrudes from the marsh waters ahead. Two gnarled trees grow fitfully on the rugged ground, and sprawled across their turgid roots is the ruined and bloody remains of a horse-sized owl. The once-magnificent bird’s body has been partially dissolved in places, and swaths of foul, dark green fluid still sizzle and pop, eating away at exposed flesh and bone.
>>142562You haven't gotten there yet.
Both Aral and Chad can roll nature checks to identify the corpse of this creature.
Aral and Artorias can also roll Arcana.
>>142564I doubt it'll help much given my +0 to int and no arcana knowledge, but I'll give it a shot
[1d20 = 16]
>>142564[1d20+12 = 17] nature
[1d20+6 = 16] arcana
And a spot for good measure, because at this point I expect the damned ground to jump up at us.
[1d20+17 = 29]
>>142563"Hope that whatever killed that thing is the crab we pasted back there, but I doubt it."
>>142564[1d20+11 = 26] Nature.
>>142568>>142566As you get closer, you recognize it as a Giant Owl: a monster native to this region, and commonly a mount for the Tiri Kitor elves.
>>142567You can also roll a Heal check for an autopsy, if you want to go look at it.
>>142566You think you see something 50-ish feet away.
>>142569[1d20+3 = 6]heal to see if the owl died from anything we need to be worried about
>>142571That check is so low I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.
>>142572ok, let's try for one less embarrassing while the DM is "checking his papers" or something!
[1d20+3 = 5]
>>142573AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>142571>>142573>The second one is worse
Aral, you think you see something reptilian lurking in the brush not far away.
Since I put you (the survivalist) in the forefront, you appear to have seen in before it saw the party.
You have one (1) round to act.
What do you do?
>>142573By "pretend it didn't happen", I meant "give Aral a chance to respond to the monster he just saw".
>>142566You see a vaguely-crocodilian creature lurking in the brush.
See
>>142576
>>142574It's alright, you are clearly distracted by the annoying elf motioning into the distance because he noticed something that might've moved
>>142570>>142576I try to being it to the attention of the party in quiet manner, and prepare to respond if it attacks.
>>142578No action is necessary to communicate with the party.
Everyone, can meet me in #combat for now to roll initiative again.
After Aral rolls his surprise round, since he moved first.
>Terrain: Draw a small hillock, dominated by two small trees, where the owl’s carcass lies. Most of the rest of the battlefield consists of light undergrowth (peat), heavy undergrowth (stands of reeds), or shallow bog.
>>142581That is the most beautiful thing I have seen in years.