Welcome, lurkers, to our fabulous thread.
In this thread, we continue our journey in which our party (yet unnamed), embarks on an epic quest to thwart the assault of the Red Hand army on Elsir Vale, racing to prepare for the assault before the might horde ends the world as they know it.
The game is a long-term d&d campaign that run on the 3.5e system. It is mostly played on this board, with partial support on discord.
General details of the campaign can be found here:
>>132102 →Now, the party left off at the end of the evacuation of Drellin's Ferry, the townsfolk fleeing ahead of the advance of the horde. The Red Hand forces are mighty, and the party has been able to accomplish little to hinder the army, although the vengeful fury of a certain giant and his granddaughters may have bought the villagers some time, as distant sounds of thunder echo from the hills.
In part one, the party learned some vital information, from the the Wyrmlord Koth's notes, map, and conversations with many characters along the way
>The Red Hand horde means business. If it is going to be stopped, that will have to be at Brindol, the only place in Elsir Vale with a standing army large enough and the fortifications necessary to have a chance against such a large force.>Monsters are blocking the roads to the north, blocking any chance of reinforcements for Brindol>One of the leaders of the Red Hand is in the ruined city of Rhest.>The horde is going to steamroll the towns east of Drellin’s Ferry and keep going.>A powerful wizard named Cromar is retired in the BlackfensA partial archive of Part I can be found here:
>>133942 →And with that, let the games begin.
432 replies and 50 files omitted.
>>141912Those crafty phase spooders
>>141912It wants to suck him off
My character is a goliath amazonian covered in an unruly mass of heavy and crude crystal plating, who is wielding what appears to be a giant hammer made of jagged and poorly shaped crystal.
A hulking amazonian goliath stumbles out of the woods while extremely drunk and looks around. "Why the fuck is the road blocked?"
>>141917"Goblins." a shit-faced drunken woodsman says, drunkenly
"Blockin' the roads. Ready fo' war..." he mumbles
>>141918The amazon ponders a solution for a moment. "I'm gonna fucking smash it to smithereens."
Aral was able to make out the basic structure of the blockade as something like this:
Player Map of the Blackfens
>>139447Updated list.
3rd level spells:
Sleet storm
Call lightning
2nd level:
Bull's strength
Chill metal
Flaming sphere
1st level:
Calm animals
Faerie fire
Entangle
Produce flame
Cure light wounds
Level 0:
Guidance
Detect magic
Flare
Purify food and drink
Mending
>>141923[happy horse noises]
DAY 16; Morning
We'll begin the encounter as soon as I figure out who is approaching from what angle, and in what order.
Geee, planning takes forever.
Combat starting now though.
to the amazonian goliath: "Thanks for helping us out and all, but who the fuck are you?"
In the chest you guys find.
>White tiger pelt
>Orange tiger pelt
>500 gp
>a pair of silk slippers
>strange ointment
A naked elf and a naked dwarf both fall out of the sack the other ogre was carrying. Both women. They're both unconscious. The elf is gagged with an apple; the dwarf with an onion.
Apparently the ogres were saving these two to eat later.
The goliath has already called dibs on the slippers and the ointment as well as the elf. She'll claim the dwarf as well if nobody wants it.
Vomeo(the female goliath) rubs some of the strange ointment onto her pointer finger and jams it into the elf's cunt before slapping the smaller woman across the face. The goliath then waits to see what the ointment does.
>>141932"Who the fuck are you?"
>>141929"My name is Vomeo Woundchaser Kolakalathi. I was trying to find my way back to town after getting into a drinking contest with some other goliaths in the woods."
>>141932Anon, are you sure you want to do that?
>>141934"Fair enough. Thanks for the help there, the pervert and his horse probably wouldn't have made it otherwise."
>>141935You're right. Vomeo will put her ointment covered finger into the dwarf's cunt before slapping her awake instead of doing it to the elf. That way I still have the elf if something happens to the dwarf.
>>141937My character has gauntlets on so it won't get onto her hands
>>141937And I stand by on medical duty in case shit goes south
>>141936"Don't mention it. Looks like it paid off anyways."
>>141937... Okay.
The both remain unconscious. Vomeo has used two out of five of the applications in the bottle.
And her alignment changes from CG to CN.
>>141941Works for me. I'll try to shake the dwarf awake.
Anybody else want to identify these items before they're used up?
>>141942The dwarf remains unconscious.
>>141943split the dosh? 4 people is 125 each
>>141944That's doable.
Meta: Vomeo just used up quite a bit of money worth of ointment.
It's clearly magical.
Oh, now that I look at it, the women should slowly awaken after the ointment is applied.
They both get up.
>>141946"So who are you?"
>>141947Are they both still tied up?
>>141948"I am Chad of the mountain mist, my greatest ally is this horse, my plum pudding."
Vomeo uses three of her healing belts to heal Aral, Chad, and Misty for 6d8 HP each.
Aral gets back 29 HP, Misty gets back 17, and Chad gets back 19.
Vomeo leans down and tilts the elf and dwarves chins up so they're meeting her eyes. "How did you end up captured by goblins?"
>>141953Pardon I was eating.
The elf and dwarf, after some time recovering, explain that they'd been captured by hobgoblins in one of the various raids that have been scouring the countryside lately.
>>141955“Well it sucks to be you.” Vomeo says while using 10ft of her rope to make collars and hand ties for the two women.
>>141956"Now hold on, I have an idea."
>>141955I ask the two of them "What kind of skills do you have?"
>>141957"I bake cookies." says the elf
"I butchered hogs in Nimon Gap." says the dwarf
>>141958so that's a fat no... Alright, whichever one Vomeo likes less is being set free and told to get the fuck out of dodge.
>>141959I’ll keep the elf and let the dwarf go.
>>141960Since I’m letting the dwarf go, I’ll use the 10ft of rope to make one collar, one leash, and a hand tie to keep the elf’s hands bound. Doing this instead of making two collars and two hand ties.
>>141961Dude, are you really going to drag an elf through knee-deep, monster-infested mud?
>>141961Wait, I thought you said in the server that you'd let the elf go and keep the dwarf instead?
Okay. Aral, you know that Starsong hill, the home of the elves, is further east. Rhest is more readily accessible, being the remains of an ancient kingdom.
>rolled some checks.
Your journey north is uneventful, and you turn onto the trail beside the road into the Blackfens
Almost immediately after you turn onto the Blackfens, the ground gets really, really, really muddy.
Aral feels crestfallen as he gets mud all over his new magic shoes. Nothing a little prestigitation won't fix though.
Aral, I would like yout to roll a survival check to see how well you're able to traverse the swamp.
>>141962Yes
>>141963Nah it’s the other way around unless Aral wants me to free the elf instead of the dwarf on account of them both being elves.
>>141965Where are you keeping the dwarf?
>>141966we're letting the dorf go, right?
>>141964[1d20+10 = 28] Survival
>>141965Yeah I just thought you already agreed to that. I would like to request it again then.
>>141966Letting the dwarf go since I’m taking the elf. The elf has a collar with a leash attached and her hands are bound behind her back. My character doesn’t care if she dies.
>>141968Alright then the elf gets freed and the dwarf is the one I’m jeeping
>>141968With a check like that, you're able to avoid some of the deadly sinkholes and exploding pockets of gas.
>>141970>>141972Where are you keeping it?
>>141973What about the sack that ogre was carrying? He could put the midget back in there.
>>141973To fuck and so she can do menial labor while we’re camping
Phase spiders suddenly snatch up the elf and dwarf bitches.
Because I don't feel like roleplaying them anymore.
Okay, so still in the morning of day 16 you guys are trudging through the mud in the Blackfens. Aral's survival check has saved you from multiple sinkholes and explosions, but you're still making very slow progress to the ruins of Rhest.
Jorr grumbles something about the Witchwood being a lot dryer.
Aral, I would like you to roll a survival check that may or may not dictate how many random encounters you guys get in this biome.
>>142549[disappointed GM noises]
Alright, Aral was able to steer the party away from an entire mob of aquatic ghouls, three bog hags, and a trail at which the party would have found themselves waist-deep in rot grubs.
Still, that took up several hours of trudging through the mud, hoping from dry point to dry point. You are all very wet and stinky.
Except for Chad, who gets to watch the rest of you guys suffer from the back of his magical flying horse.
DAY 16; AROUND NOON
And before the rest of you guys ask if you might have wanted to fight those monsters, note that none of them would have had treasure; and they would have exhausted your resources before you got to the real encounters.
However, there's one thing that Aral didn't see, as a burbling shape rises from the mud before the party.
Everyone meet me in #combat for initiative.
Aral knows that this fearsome beast is a chuul. A large, crustacean-like Aberration with strong pincers and paralytic tentacles. Try to avoid letting yourselves or your horses being grappled.
Okay, Aral cuts open the Chuul and finds...
*rolls table*
>realizes I rolled a CR 11 loot pile
*rolls again*
>it's still freaking 99 percentile roll
e_e
Are all of the fucking random encounters going to have bullshit treasure rolls?
Okay, in this fat fucking bastard's Chuul's gizzard, you find:
>A set of +1 electrum plate armor (1000 gp art value)
>Feathered Gloves (100 gp) (ruined)
>Fine Leather Shoes (300 gp) (digested)
>Gold Figurine (of an Angel) (900 gp)
>Leopard Fur Tabard (1300 gp) (acid burned)
>Pewter Dice (pair) (70 gp)
>Folding Boat
>Wand of invisibility (7 charges) (totally didn't have 43 charges); runes imply function
>Wand of Cure Moderate Wounds (23 charges)
>A Motherfucking Ring Of Protection (+2), runes on its side imply its function.
>Robe Of Useful Items[/-] (digested)
>+1 Mithril Heavy Steel Shield
>+2 [i]Flaming longbow
I'd would've thrown away that last one if it weren't so goddamn perfect for Aral. This is your weapon for the rest of the entire campaign. Don't break it.
How this chuul (albeit an advanced one) managed to swallow a 15th level item is beyond me.
And a fuckton of humanoid bones, human, lizadfolk, elf and goblinoid alike. Apparently this fat bastard has had a good year. Must have eaten a king or two.
Okay, now that you spoiled fucks are filthy rich. You can decide how much you want to heal up before I ready the next encounter for this day, after your done splitting the loot.
>mfw the monster yields 11 times the recommended treasure value because I decided to roll instead of just picking from a list.
Oh well, too late to take it back. Maybe a bit of Monty Halling will get us this game a bit faster.
The Chuul, much like a lobster, begins to rapidly deteriorate into inedible ooze shortly after it dies, much to Jorr's dismay.
With a few words from Jorr (after his own survival check), Aral slowly realizes that it's unlikely that the party is going to get all the way to Rhest at this rate. You guys are going to want to take a slight detour to find some dry land if you want to rest comfortably tonight.
Okay, Aral rolled well enough in the server to find some forested area that seems a bit safer to travel and rest on, at the cost of a slight detour. This is good, because the horses were getting increasingly difficult to coax through the mud, so much that I was going to force rolling some checks.
He also dodges the horde of drowners and hags I wanted to throw at the party. Maybe some other day.
As the evening settles in on the swamp, the party eventually makes camp, assuming you guys want arcane spells and complete healing.
>>142561if we're taking a long rest, then I guess I prepare the same spells that I've been preparing
As you guys are trudging across the Blackfens, looking for high ground, Aral, then Chad/Misty, and then Jorr spot something ahead:
>A low, mossy island of mud and peat protrudes from the marsh waters ahead. Two gnarled trees grow fitfully on the rugged ground, and sprawled across their turgid roots is the ruined and bloody remains of a horse-sized owl. The once-magnificent bird’s body has been partially dissolved in places, and swaths of foul, dark green fluid still sizzle and pop, eating away at exposed flesh and bone.
>>142562You haven't gotten there yet.
Both Aral and Chad can roll nature checks to identify the corpse of this creature.
Aral and Artorias can also roll Arcana.
>>142564I doubt it'll help much given my +0 to int and no arcana knowledge, but I'll give it a shot
[1d20 = 16]
>>142564[1d20+12 = 17] nature
[1d20+6 = 16] arcana
And a spot for good measure, because at this point I expect the damned ground to jump up at us.
[1d20+17 = 29]
>>142563"Hope that whatever killed that thing is the crab we pasted back there, but I doubt it."
>>142564[1d20+11 = 26] Nature.
>>142568>>142566As you get closer, you recognize it as a Giant Owl: a monster native to this region, and commonly a mount for the Tiri Kitor elves.
>>142567You can also roll a Heal check for an autopsy, if you want to go look at it.
>>142566You think you see something 50-ish feet away.
>>142569[1d20+3 = 6]heal to see if the owl died from anything we need to be worried about
>>142571That check is so low I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.
>>142572ok, let's try for one less embarrassing while the DM is "checking his papers" or something!
[1d20+3 = 5]
>>142573AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>142571>>142573>The second one is worse
Aral, you think you see something reptilian lurking in the brush not far away.
Since I put you (the survivalist) in the forefront, you appear to have seen in before it saw the party.
You have one (1) round to act.
What do you do?
>>142573By "pretend it didn't happen", I meant "give Aral a chance to respond to the monster he just saw".
>>142566You see a vaguely-crocodilian creature lurking in the brush.
See
>>142576
>>142574It's alright, you are clearly distracted by the annoying elf motioning into the distance because he noticed something that might've moved
>>142570>>142576I try to being it to the attention of the party in quiet manner, and prepare to respond if it attacks.
>>142578No action is necessary to communicate with the party.
Everyone, can meet me in #combat for now to roll initiative again.
After Aral rolls his surprise round, since he moved first.
>Terrain: Draw a small hillock, dominated by two small trees, where the owl’s carcass lies. Most of the rest of the battlefield consists of light undergrowth (peat), heavy undergrowth (stands of reeds), or shallow bog.
>>142581That is the most beautiful thing I have seen in years.