To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,... love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,....).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but it does still happen, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
At the moment the party is starting to appreciate that - from their future-jumped perspective - the worst has already happened. All that is left is the denouement, but at the same time there's still a glimmer of hope. Deep within the ruined city of Durpistan, where Thez has made a last vestige of resistance against the forces of George Soros, the party contemplates their next move.
Tracy has to pick a pocket or two
[1d20+25 = 27]>>63088
*Picks Torc's pocket*
Torc: Sulking intensifies
Oh your sulking?
Did you daughter come out of the shadows to pet a gay cat thing?
But when you talked to her nothing happened?
She chased off after Tracy, it wasn't personal. Besides, she doesn't know Infernius is her daughter, she just knows that her mom cries when seeing his face. And she has his face, plastered all over the wall of the former McDonald's.
*Walks up to Infernius*
"Go hug her, now."
Uh, Torc found out that the unicorn he cursed to come to the game is being pretty much killed for Soros' pleasure.
He's not happy
[1d20 = 19]>>63098
*Kicks him in the foot*
*walks out of tunnels*
"Me find him myself then."
"Wait" Thez implores
Tracy appears visibly frustrated
Torc returns to the party, his gun out, with a frost steaming from the barrel.
He begings hissing at Snek, who notices his hood is covering his face more.
The rest of the party wonders why Torc is hissing rather than speaking common to Snek.
“You feeling ok, meme magician?”
"Me fix everything, me skull fuck soros to death, skin and rub salt on all his servants then rape them to death in front of him. He has done this to you and addy."
"No, not really. But we'll get back to that."
[1d20 = 14]>>63107
Reeeeeeeeeeeee! Hug the girl first!
She wants to argue, she wants to correct him with all sorts of comments on what has happened and what may still, but really, she just wants to bury her face into his chest. Because for her, its been 15 very long and very painful years since she's seen his bright-yellow eyed face.
"I like the spirit here! But we need to get back in time to prevent all of this from happening to begin with.
It's too much for me"
[1d20 = 14]>>63109
*kicks horse in face*
"Me might not make it back, thez me love you."
Tracy appears personally fixatd on this particular issue
*Places hand on Pony to try to calm her*
"This is hard on him pony"
[1d20+36 = 56]>>63113
Suddenly Infernius feels himself grabbed by a large hand
"You aren't leaving"Greater Shadow Evocation, grasping hand
"You're... not... going... anywhere
"So then its true," is said from the doorway, as a largely concealed Adeline steps out from the shadows.
Y U no find gril 2 hug?!
Yeah he real isn't leaving now.
*leaves regen ring by the entrance with a crude note*
"Me sorry me couldn't be there for you and addy, me failed you both."
Snap, there's an undeniable oversized-hand that's pretty compulsive
You're not getting away that easily.
You aren't leaving>>63122
Torc's faggot does a small bow
"REEEEEE WHY DO YOU FUCKING NIGGERS NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LET ME FIX THIS!"
"Where do you think you're going? Do you really," her voice breks at this point, but she regains herself, "think I'm going to let you walk out. I don't fault you for what happened, but now? You're just going to go?"
"Fuck all of you!"
Torc strolls up to Infernius
"You aren't strolling to your death before you meet your daughter. Now go fucking talk to her before I adopt her for myself"
"Let me flay him!"
"... I will. At least, I hope to. But for right now, Soros is the least of your concerns."
Reeeeeeeeeee! Stop dancing around the issue!
Go talk to the girl. Everyone has been waiting for you to introduce her character.
*thrashes in gay fucking hand*
Torc pulls his gun up to Infernius
"Listen, I'm having a shitty day. I'm not having you meet your daughter when Death introduces you two. So go and fucking talk to her."
The hand begins to slowly move towards Addy
"Fuck you nigger, no one cares."
"The only nigger I'm seeing here is you"
"Let him be.... It's not easy missing your daughter's first 14 years of life"
"I bet soros rapes those horses"
"Are you really...?" a voice speaks from the doorway of the building. Adeline steps back through, Thez stands in shock and disbelief (Addy rolled a 20, so none but an omniscient god knew she was still there).
Tracy taps the ground with her magick hand, illuminating the entire room spectacularly with daylight.
She looks at Infernius almost threateningly.
Adeline stands there for a moment. She's cloaked in shadows, revealing only her face, the face of a 14-year old who was just old that the world that has been cascadingly degrading around her has just gotten a little bit brighter.
"Then,... where,... why,...." she struggles for the words.
"Why are you such a faggit?">>63143
Thez grimaces at his words "Don't,..." but is cut off.
"Its okkay. You're here now. Please don't go," Addy says, running up to and embracing Infernius.
"You dont understand, me can fix this."
[1d20+20 = 36]
"You're gonna need help"
*Humps leg again*
"No. You all might get killed, and me guess no more enteron."
"ShhhShhh... It's okay pony. Let them work in out"
"I don't think you understand. Fuck George Soros. Seriously, Fuck that guy!"
I'm exhausted, so please don't hold back on advancement if I pass out.
"Me understand, you all staying here."
"I'm not staying put until I can help Felicia"
might all get killed. And yes, the tower has been taken. But we can take it back, and that's our next move. If there is to be "a move"."
"I don't think you can do it alone. Let us get a stab at that fucker">>63154
"Do you think she's not my responsibility as well?"
"Me will remove all your limbs except head if you make me."
Stix looks on at the chaos in confusion
"She's my responsibility. She's suffered for my decisions, and fuck if I'm not gonna help her"
" Thez says with emphasis that suggests that she'll not stand for argument. And she's levelled since Infernius last saw her,... not that she couldn't 'assert' herself previous.>>63157
"I can fix that, if its a pissing contest,...."
"Reeeeeeeee why are you all against me."
"Well.... You didn't slash her">>63158
"Me and you both"
"What are you proposing? It sounds like you want to go off on a death-mission."
"Better me than you addy and the rest."
"Listen, I'm about to kick you in the mixxed nuts so hard they become ovaries."
[1d20 = 13]>>63169
*Kicks in the mixed nuts*
"Reeeeeee! Hugging comes first! Hug her!"
[Maternal hormone drenched pony noises]
"Me will rip out your fucking foal cunt!"
"Noble sentiment, but yer about 14 years late. I'm not faulting, but don't think you're running off. Like last time,....
"It's okay Infernius. This situation is stressful for all of us"
*Wraps lasso around immoble bull and pulls him towards Addy*
"I... always wanted,.. a dad...." Addy says, veritably motionless, aside from the whip action. "Are......."
She seems ashamed, and a bit nonplussed. Addy, that is. Thez is still bewildered and aback
Stix slowly backs up through the doorway where Addy came from to give everyone some space.
"Beat me if you like, me a terrible dad. Me deserve to be killed by soros..."
Torc moves Infernius a bit closer to Addy, then walks as out of the way he can while maintaining the spell, ready to drop it when needed.
He sits in a bean-snek chair
"You see this? Do you SEE? This is probably the most adorable thing I could ever imagine. I'd rend my own heart if I thought it would benefit! She's insufferable," sob, "And she's reckless," sob, "And all she's ever wanted was for," sob "those around her to stop dying. She's never even met another living, walking,...."
"Thats not true, I've had friends. Seiben was my favorite, but there were others. All the corns (her name), from Regina to others. You think this world is all bad!" she accuses Thez with.
"YOU don't get to decide anymore!"
"You met Sechs Verseiben?"
*sits on Brad, because reasons*
"Adeline! Dont raise your voice to your mother!"
>>63183reeeeees, because reasons
You're still being held, pony!>>63180
"There were other Unicorns?"
Hold her butt then. There's a lot to hold onto.
"No, I met Seiben, his son. And he was great. He was kind and friendly that everyone of you AREN'T," she says with a wave. Now when I say a wave, I don't mean anything lasting. What I do mean however, is that she (Addy) has a certain force of presence, where she can 'wave' her emotional state into the immediate surroundings. At the moment she's sad and hurt, because all she's ever known is ignominy, for reasons beyond her control or ability to mitigate.>>63184
"Who are YOU to tell me what to do!?"
"DD, please, it's,...."
"Who am me? Me am Infernuis "mother fucking" Preston, me am the one who you are angry at. Beat me it will make you feel better."
"I just met you though"
"Me am the deadbeat that never got to see you grow up. Me am the loser who wasnt here to protect you and you mother."
>>63187>He was kind and friendly that everyone of you AREN'T
Torc grimaces at the words
"Heh, first I found out the poor unicorn I brought here is pretty much being killed everyday and I get spat on and insulted by father and daughter..."
Torc stops the spell and walks away again>"Damnit you emotional little bitch"
Torc begins to point his gun, but stops and lowers it
"Forget it, I'm gonna go see what I can do"
He trys making his way to a watch tower or the likes
"You see this?! This is the only one of you who isn't a pussy!"
"No! I've lived by your rules, I've hid from everything. To what end?! Where am I to go from this except to die
And to this, Thez has NO response. All that can be heard from her is choked breath and astonished silence.
*bends addy over knee*
"You will listen to your mother!"
"Like,... like all my friends,"
Wait, did she just say Torc is the only one who isn't
Trumpaladin interjects, though perhaps with not enough force to overcome what is going on in front of him
"How do I get back"
"Oh stop it, he just wants to leave the room to get away from drama. Now all of you hush. I need to get back to the past. I mean, we need to get back to the past"
[1d3 = 3][1d20 = 15]>>63200
As he says this they hear a ray sound
"Hey shit this feels good"
Torc casts Ray of frost on one of the lizard people outside the walls
Stix, still confused, lays down in the other room and waits for the group to settle down. Seeing that this could be a lengthy wait, Stix takes a rest.
"So,... so does she." Thez says, and Infernius can see that just saying this, admitting it, literally crushes her. "She didn't,... doesn't deserve this world."
*changes into dragon form and roars at inferniosj Ive had enough no apprentice of mine is going off half cocked. You think your a terrible father. Out of 5 kids only 2 of mine are still alive and i wasnt around to protect them.
Wakes up with a start at the sound of the roar
Let's go of the pony, and moves back in the room closer to the door, with Pony 2
Lenos hits the button. In an extra-ordinate display of grandiose dragon-ocity he grows to immense size, embracing his full dragon nature.
His tumultuous dragon-breath beats down on Infernius. (not the napalm dragon-breath)
[15d6 = 46]
"EAT SHIT LIZARDS"
Torc casts freezing sphere at a large group of the reptiles.
It's his form of stress relief
*flys towards court city*
Oh even better
*jumps inside lenos mouth*
Trumpaladin goes for a walk
*spits out foul tasting bull*
You sorry excuse for a bull. I have half a mind to let my children practice their breath attacks on your worthless hide. But that would be a waste of the time i spent training you. And i wont deprive your daughter her father or my friend her mate (pathetic as he is at this moment). Instead ill do this for now
"She doesn't care."
Who said that?
Also he's in a magical force-prison. Remember that time Lenos and Thez fought (might've been early for Infernius) yeah that one.
You have a 20 by 20 cubeto move around in
*casts fire storm*
Yes, though Infernius is limited to a 20x20' space.
*lifts spiked eye ridge*
Really? A weak imitation of the spell i cast over myself all the time. You really think thats going to affect me?
I did allude to this,... directly,... not long ago
And Infernius was there for it
I remember reading that post
With the post, I was referring to Infernius casting Fire Storm and everyone crouching, versus Lenos casting it and Thez saying (at the time) GTFO to her sole charge.
As far as ethereal jaunt>>63222
Is it a walled cage, and/or are there windows?
"Um.... excuse me. You said something earlier about undesirables, or whatever you called them, that you think might be responsible for sending us through time?"
Its the cage of bars the bars are .5 inches thick with .5 inches in between>>63226
Look at post 62717 i believe on the previous thread
Its not a windowless room. But unless he can become less then .5 inches thick he cant get out using etheral jaunt
Understand, the party is a new thing to Thez. For ~ 15 years there's been nothing but Addy. I understand there are misconceptions on Infernius' end, but Thez' side it very dark and resentful, with cause.
He knows that makes it worse.
I don't think he does. Maybe I'm
missing something, but I have a real hard time identifying with is position. Having not been responsible for his own absence, I have a hard time buying his shame and regret. I have a hard time seeing him resentful and angry - aside from outrage - at the situation he finds himself in. To be honest, I expected Infernius to be the last
character ready to throw salt.
I could be wrong though.
Are you fucking serous m8?
He sees how much they've suffered by addys comments and thezs demeanour.
>"There's always a way."
A>"Shouldn't you guys take this on board? I'd guess ur gonna talk about stuff that the other characters would wanna know."
"Not always, me learned that hard way."
If that's your concern, you're misunderstanding. As the world stands, Thez (and hers, by proxy) are living on borrowed time, and when that time runs out,....
Yeah. Alright, I'll spell it out for you. The state the world is in is directly a result of all the shit that's gone on. If you want a better reality for Thez, for Addy, for any of this, running away isn't the way to do it
. There is a way, technically several ways, to fix it. Guess what, running off on a depressed-suicide-tragic-redemption-mission isn't it.
"How do we kill him?"
"Him? I assume you mean Soros? Now? You want to face him now? Foolishness."
"How do we get back
Tears streaming down, she lifts her face to meet his gaze. "I have to take the throne. Of Hell."
"Can we even get back?"
"You were a princess, right? I recall you battled Soros in the Abyss or something">>63243
"I don't know, but I have to get back. What I saw in the stadium........ It must be undone"
*struggles against cage to get to thez*
"I *am* a princess, and yes, we've crossed swords several times. But that was a long time ago, and I was far more powerful than I,... am," she says, lifting her hands and looking at them disdainfully.>>63245
She steps toward Infernius instinctively, but unsure of his intentions, she stays herself.
"So tell me, who do you think sent us through time to begin with, and who may get us back?
I'm guessing the Golden Lady is at the heart of all this?"
"Me am her for you and addy now."
"Let me out."
"No,... she's dead. While Soros has been making plans for this world, the Bogdanoffs have been waging their own war. The house of Thez is destroyed, just like the rest of this world.">>63248
"Do not regret relinquishing demonic power or influence. Be grateful for gaining friends, and now family."
"The house of.... It's destroyed? What hasn't
"Pony, did you have like a radio or something you could use to get in touch with Trollestia? That could be useful"
Stern face, but she looks at Lenos and (with gesture) asks him to lift the cage.
"So Zion sent us through time. Tell me, where can we find them?"
*embraces thez with consent or not and strokes hair and kisses*
Not sure Lenos lifted the cage yet, but we'll assume he didn't.
Thez meanwhile, flails in resistance for a moment, but its not sincere and rapidly surrenders to his embrace.
"I let you go for one mission, and you disappear for over a dozen years."
"Me didnt choose to go, me didnt have a choice."
"And i guess that makes me a pussy."
"I know, at least, I believe you. Still, you're here now. I never thought I'd see you again," tears flow relentlessly.
"Always trust for me to come back to you."
"Try not to take so long next time."
A>"Wait,... are you,...my
,..." she can't even say it.
"Yes, im your father.
"It was a few minutes for me."
Addy looks at Thez, who nods solemnly, before running up and embracing the both of them. "I've always wanted a father," she blubbers into his stomach. Hearing this, Thez loses her composure and collapses to her knees, hugging Addy from behind while still holding onto Infernius.
"Me am sorry me was not here to protect you 2, me know that dont mean much."
*hugs both of them tightly*
Who is chopping>sob
Onions in here?
>tfw ran out of alp paintings
Alright, alright, that's enough of that sappy-ass shit! So there we have it. Addy is fully introduced, Infernius isn't running off and getting himself killed,... again,... and Thez has a plan to get back to Hell, where the exopolitics might offer a solution to this whole "Samurai Jack" story-arc.
Oh, and it will also give Tracy the chance to stab things that can actually be sneak-attacked.
And Snek and Torcuil get to shoot stuff.
And Trump can unleash a righteous fury upon for what happened to his and Infernius' men.
And Lenos can blow up more shit.
Snek and Torc will enjoy that
>>63270>Is ready to unleash a Righteous fury
By the way, Thez didn't answer questions about who may have caused the time portal
Torc returns to the party in a bit of a better mood than before
"Wanna go kill some lizards?"
*having dismissed thw force cage lenos reverts back to his brownie form and proceeds to drink more ale*
so were going to hell then?
Addy looks at Lenos, confused by him changing form. "So which is it? Are you a dragon or are you a midgit?"
"Wull killing lizards get us home?">>63274
"I have to agree with Infernius. We need to get back"
"No but it could help">"Fuck lizards, they always think they're superior cause they have legs and shit"
"You know, for being as young as you are you sure seem to know a lot">"I got here like you did. I died and next thing I knew It was a staff. And I was stuck with you"
"Well here's the thing. Back in the tower, I used to have a small gate device I kept in my room. It was too small for people to use *normally*, but if we can get to it, we might be able to use it to get into Hell. From there,... well just what you might expect.
"Uh who has tower now?"
"Where is the Tower?"
Torc considers freezing hell over if they do end up there.
"And how do we get into the tower?"
"Yeah,... uhm,... about that. I uh,... don't exactly know. Soros found some way to activate it, and I don't know where he took it." ~_~
"We better find it then"
"He managed to get through the tower's sheild?
... I guess it says something for all of us, keeping our things in a building we don't own..">tfw still haven't bought that house on the ranch
"So,... anyone have any ideas about how we go about it?"
"Try the court city?
"What is 'Dubai,' on that map? And you say that you knew what happened to Slovenia and the like? That you knew where they went? Well, if you know where Soros keeps his tailor, I wouldn't be surprised that if the Tower is nearby"
"The city no longer houses the Court, there's no need for it anymore.">>63288
"I've never been to Dubai, but Slovenia and Felicia were taken to Bohemian Grove, so that might be a good place to start looking."
Tracy begins flipping through the wanted posters she took.
"...Has anyone else we knew managed to survive?" She asks grimly
"I don't know of any, and if somehow there are some then they're either slaves or worse at this point." ~_~
I assume none of the posters are relevant?
"Bohemian grove sounds like a good place to start..
Wait, if the Imperial city no longer houses the court, does it even still exist?"
"Bohemian Grove it is then, the best place to start"
"I suppose that's a good point. Soros could have easily gotten rid of them too. I have no way of knowing."
"Have you seen many undead?"
"Lets go burn it down!"
"Aside from the mass in Durpistan, no," she chuckles for a moment. "They sent that after us months ago, thought that
would flush us out," she smiles with a sigh. "Some of them were from Sparintenar. It wasn't until after I put some of them down that I realized we could bolster the city defenses by coralling them."
"Those scaly creatures, down below, where did they come from? Are they demons too?" Tracy asks, knowing nothing about the world
"Are there any other factions working with Soros?"
"Burning it down just increases the chance that we will all be killed before we get back. We need to be discrete. We need to find a way back">>63297
"Well... My best guess is that the Court existed recently at least.
I entirely understand why Kefka and The Lady wanted them gone"
"It was Kefka's court; he could've destroyed them whenever he wanted. Why would he want them gone?"
"Yea you probably right."
"Those are the Slaadi. They live underground ordinarily, but they have been contracted by Soros to do his bidding. Rigidly hierarchical, the Grey ones are the ones you have to worry about, though don't get surrounded by the Blue ones either. Anyway, he uses them as an expendable army, without risking any of his abyssal forces. Pawns essentially, except don't tell them
"I'm not sure that their relationship is that great. In Kefka's case, the combined court could have presented a significant threat to him, and without the Tarrasque he wouldn't have as much leverage. The Court existed before Kefka,... betrayed us,... so who knows what their motivations and networks consist of."
"My best guess is that he couldn't destroy them whenever he wanted, or that he needed to do it discretely. Why would he want them gone? He didn't trust them. I bet he figured they had their own agenda. And considering they worked with Zion to kill him, it looks like he was right">>63302
"I thought I mentioned that years ago. Yeah, Kefka was a player too. He's the reason I went to the outer planes in the first place."
? I haven't heard any of this! I also haven't even been here a year...">>63305
"Zion is an empire that came in from the north. They came in as merchants first, but took over slowly, and summoned Soros from the outer planes"
"We crush them when we get back."
"Yes. We crush them. Flay them. Everyone of them."
>wants to kill something
"You're right about that."
"Those salami things. If they're already here, does that mean they've relayed our location to the abyssals?"
"And if so, does that mean Soros's hoard could arrive sooner or later, if they've seen any of us?"
"Undoubtably, but I doubt they realize the significance of your arrival.">>63313
I forget, did Brad ever declare who he was in that fight with the groundskeeper, or did he keep his identity obscured (chicken disguise).
"When we go get thing back?"
So where exactly are we?
Getting ready to leave for the grove?
I don't think he identified himself, other than as a man of Football. That alone could lead to a conclusion, except he also did a good job of cutting the Gay into pieces and dissolving the body in Holy Ade. I'd say he's fine.>>63316
Thez shrugs, "Whenever we're ready. Bohemian Grove lies in the forest beyond where Kiynen's swamp is,... was perhaps,....">>63317
"I'm ready if need be." Tracy says, stretching
"Question is, who's going to stay behind?"
*Looks briefly at Addy, Spike, and [insert name here]*
"Well, I don't mean to leave anyone behind, but there are children here.. If those salamis get wise to the situation, they'll have to relocate anyway, but is it right to just take them into uncharted enemy territory..." Tracy says, with a look that expresses that she's not so sure of her proposition
"Shouldn't someone stay here in case the hoard breaks the barrier? Unless you have a plan for where to make camp outside the grove."pardon my autism. I'm sick as hell and not thinking straight....
"I'm going, at Lea to help Felicia"
"I mean you do have point but couldn't kiyen protect them?"
I assumed Kiynen was going to stay with her chicks. Wasn't sure about anyone else though.
Lenos can stay I guess
Tremendous stomping can be heard from over the side of the building, crowing closer. Finally, Kiynen swings her massive head over the side of the building (she's crawling up it).
"We're not staying here. If this works, this nightmare scenario can be avoided," she 'quietly' roars.
"You think about it wrong meme boy, if we get back we can help felica by not letting her get captured."
Tracy nods with hesitant conviction
"Oh hey lenos girl."
"I agree with I'nis and Kiynen. As much as I hate to leave Felicia and Slovenia - as well as others - to their fate, as well as risking the children, its our best hope."
"Haven't seen you in a while"
Thez dabs on Infernius
"But if we change the past.. what'll happen to all of you in the present..?"
"We've got to get back"
"I... I don't know that either. But we can't leave things as they are."
Torc grimaces a little bit before Snek slaps him with his tail>"Pull yourself together, you can make sure it doesn't happen."
"Alright, fine. So where do we start?"
"Will you all just disappear?" Tracy presses, looking rather confused about the whole situation
"They were conceived before the time divergence. A different version of them would exist probably, after 15 years"
"That's one possibility. Another is that this world will continue on, and a new future will be forged for the past timeline, like a parallel dimension. Those who venture to wield such magics are not often available for comment in the aftermath.">>63340
"Uhm,... that's actually not
"What about this version though?"
"This universe cannot be allowed to continue to exist"
"There be happy version but we be with them so we age 15 years too."
"What about everyone in it though? What would happen to them?"
"Replaced by something better"
"If everything works out, that's the idea/plan."
this is why time travel stories piss me off sometimes.
Tracy still looking confused, busies herself with sharpening her already-sharp knives.
"I'll have to prepare some things. Please excuse me for a bit. Addy, stay with your father."
"Tell me about yourself adoplha."
I g2g for about half an hour
Her eyes widen to the size of dinner-plates. 8D
"Weeeeeeeelllll,...." and then stops for a moment to think. "Uhm,... no one's really asked me about myself before. Uhm,... I like to climb things, and I'm very sneaky," she says with a slightly mischievous look. "I like to sing, but I'm not nearly
as good as mom,..." she gasps in excitement, but quickly shuts her mouth. My favorite food is Dragon Turtle,... OH! I can cook pretty well too!">>63352
No worries, I'm about to step out for a bit (like 15 minutes) myself.
"Wow you seem very talented, wanna sing daddy a song?"
>>63353>"She's my new best friend"
"what about me?>"What about you?"
She giggles a bit. "I wouldn't say I'm talented,... its just that its so boring
around here. Aside from playing with Spike and Slab I figure that's a good enough name for the other one. I think I came up with one last night, but oh well
or Sammy and Bunbun there's really not a whole lot to do."
She leans over to Infernius and whispers to him.
"Why is the skinny guy talking to himself? Does he do that often?" then at normal volume "Hold on, I don't even know any of your names."
"You asked me earlier"
"Oh right. Brad, wasn't it?"
"Oh me sure you can sing just as well as your mom *whispers* maybe even a little bit better, me would be honored to hear song.>>63357
"Uh yeah hes kinda touched in the head, he a pretty good guy though. Me name is Infernuis."
"Oh, sorry. Slipped my mind. I'm Torcuil, and this is Mr. Snek"
Mr. Snek's hat becomes a top hat and he removes it with a little bow
"So thaaaaaats what she meant when she said "I'nis is easier.">>63361
She nods to Torcuil, and then returns Snek's bow with a curtsey. "Enchante">>63363
8D She looks to Trump. "CAN I?!"
>>63357>Turns out I didn't actually need to leave but will soon so it might be another half hour
"The name's Tracy."
A soft hiss-like "reeeing" sound escapes Trumpaladin's mouth
"Hiya Tracy!" she turns to Stix. "And what's your name?"
*Firmly grasps leg*
"His name stick.">>63364
More of the exasperated sound escapes his mouth
K, Tracy will be dead when you get back.>waves
But what if Addy dabs back?
[1d20 = 15]
Amidst the conversation, Thez slowly approaches, watching but not wanting to disrupt the scene. As she does so, Addy turns to her and runs up and whispers something in her ear.>>63373
And Thez hits Infernius with a katsuken
And he flies that many feet. No damage tho.
"So uh, I hate to break up you and Infernius' heart touching PDA, but now what?"
She never even sang."
"There will be plenty of time for fun and games later. Besides, you're the one who wanted to dab on her,... she doesn't even know what a dab is!"
Tracy gets her stuff ready to go.
"For shame! You didnt tell her about dabbing"
What's wrong with dabbing?
"The whole point of dabbing is being witnessed doing it." she replies dryly.
*shakes head* im lenos spike and slabs father
"You have kids too?"
8D "So they're "your
fault"? I heard alot
about you from Kiynen! I,... didn't realize u'd be so smol tho," she measures their height difference.
Thez blushes again, "Addy, consider your words."
A>"What? Its what Kiynen always said! First there was 'this guy' who was a little bastard but strangely charming, and they had lots of fun and played "played" and then those eggs popped out and it was all his fault."
thanks to a cult curse that made me this small.>>63392
Yes i have kids apparently......and they are quite the dapper young dragons if i do say so myself
>>63396As I continue to illustrate Addy's disposition and personality, keep in mind (meta) she has a 5 wisdom
Heh ya played is a good ...... term. So are my kids friends of yours?
"So, when are we leaving?"
>>63397 is her int higher than mine?
"I'll be ready in just a moment," Thez replies. She walks over to Addy. "Addy, this is going to be very dangerous. I want you to keep this with you," she says, holding out her size-appropriate quarterstaff she's only 4'4" tall
Excited by the idea, but unsure what this all means, Addy reluctantly takes it. "But this is,... o, okay."
T>"Stay behind me at all times, got it?"
A> Nods, nervously but affirmatively.
Thez then looks at the rest of the party. "Well, I guess this is it? Does anyone have any last minute preparations or considerations?"
"Yeah, where will Sam and Bunny be perching when we're infiltrating the grove? They're not exactly easy to hide."
"Why would we leave them behind? They have a stake in this too. Do you think they just shrugged and went about their business when you left?"
*Hugs birds protectively*
"Y-you don't expect them to be on the battlefield, do you?!"
"Directly, no. But they can get us there quickly and with relative discretion, assuming they fly within the cloud-bank. And, do you really think they're
just gonna let you walk out of here?"
As she says this, Bunny starts bonking Tracy on the head with her beak. (not painfully)
You misunderstand. Tracy was asking where she would park her birds, so that they wouldn't draw attention at the grove.
Both Snek and Torc inspect their guns.
"Nope we're ready"
Fug it. They'll find some mountain to land behind.
Let's get to the battlefield already.
*Grooms birds for take off*
*Generously oils knives*
*hugs addy and thez*
*shrugs shoulders* im ready when you are. I need to kill something in the worst way
I should take a moment to specify. While several of the party members have empathic links which allow them to communicate over distance and detect the direction to the other party, Thez and Infernius are not exclusive to this phenomena. I point this out because, while there is no potential for communication, or for that "direction sense" of the other's location, both Thez and Infernius can sense Addy's proximity through the same link.
I wanted to iterate that before progressing, because its probably going to come into play.
As far as preparations are concerned, the currently available fliers are Sammy, Bunny, and Fae. Obviously the first two have the highest carrying capacity, and other characters can individually do flying shit, but does anyone have a preference/idea who rides who?
A>"I want Bunbun!"
T>"I'm with Her" deliberate shitpost
Trumpaladin rides Fae
Torc casts fly on Snek and climbs on his back
"It's not the airship, but you'll do buddy"
Tracy gets on Sams back.
And Infernius has Utachit.
So, we're all ready?
Alright. Let's get messy.
*turns back into dragon form* i got my own wings thank you very much
Thez gets a wistful look when he says that.
Okay, so it's Lenos (in dragon, w/ no riders), Kiynen (with both babbies), Bunny (with Thez and Addy), Sammy (with Tracy), Snek with Torcuil, Uatchit with Infernius,... Stix?
Stix hops on Fae with Trump
"OHHHHHHH What shall we do with the drunken sai-"
>"I'm about to drop him"
"Alright fine, just have your gun ready, and here. Have some armor"
Torc casts mage armor on himself, which also affects Snek.
And for one last extra buff.
Torc grabs his staff of abjuration and casts shield.
To help GM: Both Torc and Snek now have ACs of 32, and Torc has the following spells remaining:
Couldn't find a better version. But it does help. With a minor cantrip from Thez, Addy starts to sing the Ahhhhh part.>>63434
I'm so not keeping track. I trust you will tho.
And I say that, having pulled 'available spells' shenanigens in the past
I'll keep track.>Rulefags myself
Some excellent taste in music
I tried to find a female cover for consistency, but all I get is Beyonce shit
*loads crossbow with 5 screaming bolts*
Thez calls out "You still got those javelins of lightning?" over the increasing wind and disturbance, as they take flight out of the city, to the enraged sound of the Slaadi.
"Umm.. I don't remember restocking.."
I thought she used up her last one (there were 3 right?) on the tarrasque, but I also remember Thez getting more before the party went to get Infernius. Are you saying she gave them to Tracy?
Tracy gives The whatever's in the bag.
"Adolf me dont know if you can hearvme but me pray that you bless us on our mission."
I feel like an idiot for requesting that.
I'd appreciate any buffs though.
There were 4 left when Thez gave Tracy the bag. I don't recall her using them, but I could easily
have overlooked. I don't recall restocking, but again,...
Also, she's not asking for them, but just clarifying.
I used one against the first demon invasion
One on Korak's ass
And one to finish off the Tarrasque.
Hmm, I guess she still has one.
[1d20 = 13]
Lifting into the lower bank of the constant overcast that has plagued this world for years, the party proceeds along, over the wasted and shrivelled forests toward a large hill that has been stripped of any vegetation. A variety of structures dot the hillside, most notably the crystalline Pyramid-top of the tower, which at some point appears to have been embedded in the top of the hill.
Um.... the hill where it used to be?
Could the hill provide cover for the birds to land?
No, a different hillside, far more to the east and north than the "starting point"
How did she find it?
[1d20 = 15]
Tracy looks down for any signs of sapient activity.
Rolling spot without modifiers cuz I forgot them
"These days, EVERYONE knows where Bohemian Grove is, whether for or against."
"What's this place like?!" Tracy shouts over the wind
Maps. The first one is a rough sketch of the environment, the second is a shitposty map I made while making the first one.
"What is the Bohemian Grove?"
So, four structures in the surrounding area, and a curling spire that leads to the top?
"Its where (((they))) revel in their domination and exploitation of this world!" (shouting cuz wind and distance)>>63458
Yes. Since the party is airborne, the pathways are less relevant, but I can't be remiss now can I?
Additionally, I should mention,... the main door to the Tower is blow ground level,....
Tracy looks for a spot to keep her angels safe so she can get off and slaughter things.
"Where we go first?"
From the air, the "eyeball" is a keep (a tower surrounded by a hearty wall), the tail looks like a series of shops, the back leg is a temple of sorts, and the foreleg-elbow looks like an inn
Tracy signals her bird to land a good distance from the hill, her eyes on those shops.
I'mma rampage those shops, then the temple.
A temple? Describe
Now when you say a good distance from the hill, you realize that puts Tracy outside
the hill, right?>>63467
Aside from the 6-pointed stars n shit?
Let's go see.
Maybe they have some unholy stuff worth stealing.
>>63468>Outside the hill.
Is there any visible way she could land these airplane-sized animals without drawing attention?
We need to burn it upon leaving.
That goes without saying.
Probably not, the hillside sports only grass, making any sort of concealed approach impossible
I would recommend not wasting time that could allow Soros to get a head start in reacting to the party, since the party will lose the element of surprise the moment they land, but whatever
are the walls scale-able with Tracy's grappling hook? Her priority to to keep her birdies safe.
>just now finds out about bonus spells
Would Trump like eagle's splendor?
But faggy temple that is literally blocking hitlers power.
"He's right, its probably GM offering some faggy nonsense to distract us with!"
Tracy could use some bull's strength.>>63477
Infernius would be ideologically obligated to destroy it.
Clerics have codes of conduct too.
I wanted to horse around a bit, but sure...
I don't have that one
Torc casts eagle splendor on himself
Yea i can let it go in the name of getting back to the past.
This. We gotta get back. Back to the past
So we can destroy every one of them before they are built
"I could be wrong, there could be gibs inside,...">>63485
"He's right! I don't like saying that by the way!"
Okay, let's land closer to the center then.
What would they she upon leaving?
[1d20 = 18]>>63487
"You're landing?!" and then to Addy, "Hold on DD," before leaping from Bunny in mid flight.
Wait are they over them?
Could she just jump off and roll a tumble?
If Tracy can get away with doing that, and not splat, sure. Thez has teleport and airwalk.
>"Ding! Please fasten your seatbelts as we begin our descent into Bohemian Grove International."
Snek begins to descend behind the others, establishing the back line
[1d20+16 = 36]>>63492
Fae: Spot checkNo, I am not confident in the modifier, she just has high spot
Fuck, I wish I could still fly.
Tracy signals to Bunny to land at a safe distance.
*circles around to make sure the party makes it to the ground safely*
e_E Tracy is on Sammy, Addy and Thez were on Bunbun
Also, Sammy doesn't need to land to disembark. Tracy could dismount with an acrobatics check, while Sammy grazed the hillsides (wherever) if she wanted
[1d20+25 = 32]>>63498
Rolling to Tumble and avoid a shaken fetus.>inb4 1
Can Fae land with a pounce on a thing? Also Nat 20 on a spot check
... or she lets Lenos help her down.
Whichever is easier.
Let's just go kill things.
*lenos swoopes over sammy and grabes tracy right off the birds back before making a steep decent to the ground next to the party*
This, faster than Thez and Addy, even at free-fall speeds.
"And here I thought I was being time-conservative," e_e
Likewise Kiynen swoops down (also passing Thez and Addy, the former looking irritated cuz her idea didn't pan out)
Anyway. Tracy puts her sword in her mouth, the basket hilt on her muzzle looking not unlike a helmets visor. With Edgy and Dark in either hoof, she readies for battle, her chain twitching in her claws, circling her like an adder puffed with venom.
Should we roll initiative?
That'd be good. Actually, players should roll 2/character, to account for falling, skill-checks, etc.
[1d20+7 = 11]>>63506
[2d20 = 20]>>63507
Since Snek and Torc aren't falling I'll skip that.
Highest goes to Snek
[2d20 = 15][2d20 = 19]>>63507
Fae and Trumpaladin. Or Just Fae, not sure
Well, unless players had a predisposed plan (which Thez did, but she's never been the best at communicaton) then I assume a skill check would be involved for players to reach the ground without damage or affect. So, one dice would be for initiative, and the second would apply to whatever situation the character potentiated for themselves
Tracy is being carried by Lenos. Does she need to roll?
[2d20 = 38]
O, my bad. 1st roll gets a +4
Couldn't Fae just land normally though?
[2d20 = 35]>>63518
Thats what im wondering about lenos
I thought Tracy went with Sammy, and Lenos was un-rided?
Idk what's happening anymore...
Also, I didn't say "everyone leaps off and assumes battle-stance", I mean Thez leaps off and assumes battle stance.
Lenos grabbwd tracy off the bird before flying down to the groind at a steep angle
Does it matter how we get to the ground atm?
Do you want this to be a cut and dry rpg where player have their attack round and opponents have their attack round, or do you want me to try and embellish?
Logistically, yes but without the immediacy that Thez is shooting for. She's going for attacks of opporunity/surprise.>>63524
Only for combat sequence
She's also looking to show off to Addy, who's never seen her tly try
Anyway, Tracy did what Lenos said, thanking him graciously before waving to her birds.
[2d20 = 17]
K, rerolling, cuz I misjudged the requisite rolls
Do I need to roll for Snek and Torc's decent?
AS far as landings, there are several varieties. There's the blitzkrieg method, which Thez is employing, or there's the "Actually wanting to land and avoid maleffect method, that Fae, the Birbs, and all other natural fliers would be quite to mention in the moment
Snek can fly for the moment, no need>>63529
No, Im sorry. I'm catty cuz we didn't get as far as I wanted. We're not done until something dies, but "ideally" I should stop now. I won't tho.
Alrigh I'm confused, for now Snek and Torc just take up positions on the back line.
Tell me when to roll initiative
>>63533>I was catty
It's alright. I was being a bitch.
I just want to slaughter shit.
1 - Addy 18
2 - Thez 16(+4 but perma waiting on Addy)
- Snek 13
- Fae 13
- Trump 12
- Torc 7
- Lenos 4
Tracy waits for a moment where she can tumble behind the ranks and flank every enemy at once.
Also, Fae got a 20 on spot earlier. What is visible?
Everything. There are smol groups clustered around the various buildings. Focus?
[2d20 = 36]
The small groups nearest the tower, what are they like?
Am I misinterpreted how to roll initiative?
I didnt mean to leave the bonus up.
Here's what I have so far:
0 - Fae (19)
1 - Addy (18) - Stix (18)
2 - Thez (16) - Infernius (16)
3 - Tracy (14)
- Snek 13
- Trump 12
- Torc 7
- Lenos 4
[2d20 = 14]
[1d20 = 7]
Kiynen and co
Well, Fae dives in and towards the center of a group near the Tower. She will pounce as soon as she hits. Stix I think technically is above her in Initiave and can definitely shoot arrows first. Both Stix and Trumpaladin would go fight in this areaYes, I cleared it with Stix first
K, so Kiynen and hers are essentially last,... except for Lenos (which is fitting, cuz he has an air of superiority a mile long).
The official order is
Birbs I assume are maintaining safe disance
Kiynen and co are a wildcard, having declared neither action nor belay (so, they're in a ready-move patrol)
[2d20 = 11]
Stix shoots at the nearest enemy!
I believe Stix gets two attacks, correct?
[3d20 = 17]>>63552
Fae Pounces on something and rips into it
Yes, and with the attack bonus of being at freefall with momentum his arrows operate at +2. So the first roll was 3, with a +7 Base attack, plus 2 for circumstance,....
It misses. The troop in question starts to cuckle. Then to laugh.
And then the other arrow split his head open and he dies.
Wait, he didn't do the freefall thing. It doesn't affect the outcome wrt opponents, but its DEFINITELY not as cool
And then another fucker get's pounced on by a flying lion >>63556
Fae misses with her leading paw. Just
her leading claw. Her other paw lands, but not until after her mouth comes down upon one of these creatures. What are these creatures anyway?
The creatures in question, surrounding the grove and throughout (which yes, Fae detected in advance but doing so would have no relevance so I opted to not modify the current situation Xp)seem hostile and foul.
Is the path towards the pyramid clear/visible?
[4d20 = 60]
Tracy loses her patience and stabs the first thing she sees when she hits the ground, completely indescriminate.
What's it look like?
Well, I was gonna say this: Alright. Fae is decided (though not depicted).
While I am detailing this, Tracy falls full-force through an abominable creature. I didn't plan it that way, but I wanted Tracy at least to kill something.
[Sounds of ripping and mauling]
Likewise, the other party members stream down/about via their individual methods (which wouldn't hurt, cuz they're not trying to do so to themselves or eachother).
(At long last)
That didn't come out right. It would be better or more accurate to say that Tracy chunks down upon, and largely (mostly) through one of the available humanoids.
It smells absurdly foul, but can't be resolved as undead.
So to summarize. The party, in their indivdual/group capacity begins to swoop down upon Bohemian Grove, intent on killing jews, butt-devastating globalists,.... oh and retaking Trump tower that's important too.
Tracy obliterates a creatures at freefall-speed, while other party members land, glide to position, and otherwise converge on the hillock at the mid-point of the hill. Tracy finds that whoever she crashed into needs some extra encourageent to die and begins stabbing with fervor.
Thez and Addy <whooof> come to land safely, while Trump, Fae, and Stix swoop in to join Tracy. Lenos is conceivably low, using the hilltop for cover in his approach.
Infernius on Uatchit can appear pretty much weherever, and Snek and Torcil fly in and make their time, before all ur base are belong to us
Sammy and Bunny resume a low altitude, just inside the cloud bank. The dragons (Lenos and Kiynen) are more conspicuous (but no less effective) in landing (literally) on the opposition.
[4d20 = 59]>>63570
"FOR PORT BARRY!"
Trumpaladin Slashes at the damned Globalists. I hope there is a cleave
She's on the ground tho...
So when we last left off, the party had just made a spectacular entrance on a very surprised mass of darkly-cloaked revellers on a hill-side dotted with torches and bonfires, leading up a spiral path toward the tip of the pyramid of Trump Tower. Tracy began the invasion blade-first as she always does, and finds a very old and decrepit face with an enormously large nose beneath her. There's something oddly familiar about him. Meanwhile, as the rest of the party makes their landings Trump wastes no time, but swings Vandereim into the throng.
"It's okay lad! They're all evil!" the Scottish sword encourages. "Oh shit, not again." he cuts off.
"Not again what...."
What did Tracy stab through?
Rather, what did it look like?
>>63585>tfw no Tracy stabbing merchant through nose shoop cuz not my computer
>>63586too bad it was deleted last time i posted it...
As Trump charges the nearest collection of large-nosed people, the mass of them near and far immediately retreat in every direction, to a frenzied chorus of "Oy vey!", running likewise from the other party members. Players get one attack of opportunity, more if they have the requisite feat (in which case, their AOP = Dex bonus)
[1d20 = 2]>>63588
Trumpaladin is riding Fae so is stix
so hopefully he can keep up
"This is for Port Barry!"
Combat reflexes +5 AoOs
How many juden?
Uh.... That's not a 1, and there's something like a +27 modifier on the highest base attack bonus
Kek, that'll be Trump's initiative roll. I'll need one for Fae also.>>63590
More than 5
[5d20 = 51]>>63590
Well, obviously more than 5..
Rolling 5 individual attacks, each with a +20 modifier for clarity's sake.
Attacking with Spiked Chain to reach them all.
I should clarify. Trump already rolled his attack roll, which would (and will) occur before the AoO. I'm waiting for the results of those rolls to determine how the scene plays out.
[3d20 = 35]>>63592
Fae has combat reflexes and +2 dex bonus
[1d20 = 9]>>63588
One attack of opportunity for Stix
[1d20+10 = 19]
[1d20+11 = 28]
Snek shoots at a happy merchant (+11)
Torc decides not to waste a spell and does the same (+10)
[8d20 = 83]
Screams of "Anti Semites!" and other such yiddish epithets raise up as jews run to and fro. Infernius also joins in on the opportunistic spree, cuz why wouldn't he? Thez also lays down all in her reach, using her now-extended folding saw, a kama of exquisite craftsmanship, the blade being a Lenos custom and the fittings and enchantment a product of the finest hellish craftsmen.
As Rats, for in their agitation their natural form is becoming transformationally apparent, fall to the initial onslaught of the party, Adeline taps the Bo three times on the ground, from which the shadows deepen and elongate, stretching across the hillside.
Between all the AoO and Trump's actual attack round (taking initiative after Tracy's entrance), I'd say like 25 of them fall, clearing the immediate area beyond those who were already in retreat.
By the way, where on the hill did the party land?
Trumpaladin, who landed with Fae and Stix, would have attempted to land as close to the tower as possible. I believe that is S.
Also, there's the absolute murder that Lenos and Kiynen would have unleashed,....
I'll say Torc was with them
Thez, who landed with Addy near the pyramid, lobs a purplish fireball at a retreating rat, and turns away toward the pyramid. She reaches out to touch it and is immediately zapped.
[1d20+20 = 32]
Tracy take a moment to look over the scrambling kikes and scour the terrain, trying to determine where she would put the underground entrance to the tower might be located.
Rolling to Search the battlefield.
fucked up with that sentence there...
Which tower? There is a keep, and there's Trump tower. The keep is S, Trump tower is the blue pyramid in the center.>>63604
If the buildings were arranged by elevation along with locations in the tower, then k (keep) lines up with the forge, p (stores) is along with the strip-mall, I (inn) is in line with the vault and the medical section, and s (synogogue) is about where the entrance would be.
"The main entrance is buried!" Thez calls down, "They've got some kind of field that prevents me from crossing the threshold even ethereally."
[1d20+20 = 29]>>63603
Whelp, looks like the tower is electrified
"There's some electric field on the tower. I have no idea if it needs to be turned off or if it's magical or what. Far, Stix, you have sharper eyes than I. Can you look around for structures that may house utilities or an alternative entrance to the structure."
Rolling a spot check, because that's her highest modifier
Trumpaladin dismounts Fae, and enters the Keep
Are we splitting up?
Torc casts detect magic on the pyramid
It's just a guess as to how to maybe deactivate the field. It shouldn't take long at all to get back together if this is a bust
Stix follows Trump inside
“What’s the plan? Do we storm in or sneak our way in further?”
If Torc is with Trump, he's not near the pyramid.
"There is an electric barrier on the Tower. I don't know if it is magic or how any of this works. Maybe there is a way to shut it off directly or cut power to it if it is not magical or a certain sort of magical. If that is so, it is best to check the buildings for controls to the field or power. And that is what I am doing here, I am checking the keep building. If it's pure magic, we'll need a spell caster to cast something on it. Still another option may be to blast through the walls of the tower, but we'd need the guns, and who knows where those are"
"Hello, it is I; the spell caster that can cast something on it. Should Snek and I go inspect it?"
Well, if we're splitting up, Tracy dashes furtively towards the synagogue, using the chaos of the battlefield as cover to sneak in.
"Certainly. Thez and Adeline are up there, so you'll be safe probably"
"Alright, we're off"
Torc and Snek head towards the Tower looking to join with Thez and Lil' Thez
Uh, its a rather long and winding path
>>63617>"if I were the rats, I would have activated a silent alarm to draw in reinforcements, besides the fact that Soros can attack us even after we've gone through the portal. Please keep diversions to a minimum"
What does Tracy see around her as she approaches the synagogue?
Does he attempt to communicate this before or after he leaves for the keep?
Also, these are rats?
>>63620Nevermind, Torc will not be putting the knowledge skill to use today>"That's a bad idea, just stay with these idiots"
"Excuse me? You take orders from me.">"I'll grapple you"
Torcuil resigns to following Stix and Trump
ENTERS THE KEEP. Um, enters the building with Fae. Probably Stix as well. What see?
The last of the rats usher each-other through the door and slam it closed behind them, before Tracy is able to make it inside.>>63625
Trump and co however also find the keep quite tightly barred against entry. The keep appears to be a serviceable military structure, but it doesn't seem manned at the moment, and all the rats who fled didn't seem the most athletic or militaristic.
Gm is that you, i cant tell eho is who.
The basic idea was "don't waste too much time because we just lost the element of surprise." Also your character has a shit load of skills that could help with the puzzle of how to get past the field.
I think they were described as being rats. Remember the were rats in the third session? Remember how Soros showed up as soon as they were vanished, as if Soros and the rats had a special connection? They had the same physical description as the current enemies. Also, Vanderiem is familiar with them
[1d20+5 = 17]>>63626
reeee muh disguise plan
Tracy puts on her illusionary disguise and slams her hooves on the door
"Oy vey, let me in you schmucks!"
Rolling buff to act panicked
[1d20+27 = 38]>>63626
Sunder the door with sword of sunder!
[1d20 = 8]>>63630
"Oy vey, it sounds like Marvin, open the shutter!" cries out from inside.
A window opens in the door, the man there eyeballing Tracy's disguise.
[6d20 = 71]>>63631
Shockwaves spread along the door as Trump strikes it with the blunted sword. The door is clearly damaged, but continues to hold.
From high above along the ramparts over the gate, rats throw stones down upon Trump and co.
I'm calling that 1 hit against Trump, 1 against Fae, and 1 against Snek (big target).
Bull rush the door
Yay! Which door? The Keep? The Synogogue?>>63636
What a waste of a pali
The synagogue of Satan
>>63634>"Oof, tell the fucking armor display to watch where he's swinging that thing"
Uh, what are the rules for knocking down a door?
Reee! I'm trying to infiltrate the synagogue! Give me three rounds
"Quick, the goyim know, shut it down!" Tracy coughs out, eyeing the charging bull in the background.
I bull rush the keep.
Ah k, perfect.>>63641
"Oy vey, anuddah shoa'h!" he says, creaking the door open and allowing Tracy inside.>>63644
Plowing solidly into the reinforced door, a creaking and snapping sound ripples through the framework, and pockets of dust drift down. It loosens as Infernius rebounds off of it, and settles a bit lower.
[1d20+7 = 20]>>63646
Snek trys his luck at the door
Is he shooting it?
[1d20+27 = 33]>>63646
One more attempt to sunder the hinges or lock on the door
"Oy vey! It's 1933 all over again!" Tracy shouts out, taking a moment to make sure her magical prop nose is fixed in place and rubbing her demon hands together jewishly (now glamoured to be white) as she follows the long-noses into the synagogue.
Inside she's greeted by a sea of noses all together pointed toward the front, where a raspy voice cries out "... and so our only option is to come together as one, and form Gigajew!" to which cheers of applause, and many rounds of hand rubbing did ripple among those present.
The crowd begins to herd forward, all chanting some hebrew shit.>>63649>>63650
Between the two, able to rip a hole open in the increasingly broken door. Snek can enter if he likes.
[1d20+9 = 26]>>63652
Snek enters and makes a quick spot check
Infernuis follows behind snek.
[1d20 = 10]>>63655
Infernius wails on the door a bit more before he
cn fit through. Meanwhile.>>63654
Poking his head through and past the door, Snek can see several large devices that look like giant crossbows. They're across a large open expanse and they're pointed at the door.
[1d20+17 = 28][1d20+17 = 20]>>63652
TOP. FUCKING. KEK!
Also, Fae claws at the door>>63655
Infernius is too big
[1d20+8 = 9]>>63652>Gigajew
Does dropping coins in front of them distract the gigajew?>>63656
Reflex to get the hell out of there before he dies
Do i need to roll or no?
"Uh, Stix.... We may want to reevaluate our approach"
[1d20 = 5]>>63658
Torcuil is with Trump. That's all going on with Tracy.
[1d20+25 = 32]>>63652
Umm.. Rolling to Hide in a corner/hallway/under a bench or something while the rest of the kikes are distracted chanting. Take a move action to gain temporary concealment with Cloak Dance if necessary.
Hoping the blood from the kike she killed earlier is enough to cover her scent...
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..!" Tracy curses under her breath as she scrambles for cover.
"What would Infernius say in a time like this?"
I am aware, it was just a suggestion, and the reflex save is Snek
No, I'm just stalling him for a round or two. He can enter in a moment, he just has to break the door more. Its Wood and Iron in construction, but its 8-10" thick in some places, reinforced, etc. It can be broken, it just takes a sec.
[2d20 = 17]>>63663
Well, if he hadn't have rolled a 1, Snek would have gone undetected. Since he did though (he didn't even have to roll, I rolled for him being spotted already and it was a fail), 2 of the ballistae fire at his position.
Uh, his armor check is 32 currently.Checkd for Death
[2d20 = 28]>>63666
That's true. Missing Snek, the ballista bolts would continue on to the next available target.
I think the second one misses.
Both bolts hit the door, one of which richochets off and flies away, another one slamming into - and through - the door. Infernius roll a reflex save.
Infernius jumps aside as the ballista bolt crashes through the door. There's now a gap large enough to enter, but it involves climbing a bit of ruined door and passing through carefully.
Umm.. by "gigajew" how big are we talking about?
Alright, ill climb through when i get a chance.
"Are you okay in there?"
>"Just peachy! Let the others know there are crossbows in here"
Torc looks at the bolt that smashed through the door
"Oh I think we know"
Meanwhile, as the rats herd toward the ever increasing mass of noses, merging together into an ever-larger blob of nose that spreads outward, a crash emits from one of the larger stained windows, which explodes inward as a large object breaks through. The Gigajew is currently Huge, and growing larger with each added nose.
"It appears we've underestimated their defenses. I think maybe we should try to the tower directly">>63675
Giving time for Stix or Torcuil to join on Fae's back should they so chose, Trumpaladin mounts Fae, and has her run towards the tower with her amazing speed
Tracy furtively positions herself into a position away from the falling debris as she takes a moment to plan her next action observing the abomination.
Torc stays behind, climbing through the ruined door when he can.
Are there any exits to the synagogue in sight, or other room to charge/move? I think i might wanna try an attack before it gets bigger, but I wanna have space to put some space between them.
Stix barely has time to hop on and go along with Trump
There is a small door in the back on the other side of GigaJew, but other then that there's the barred door at the front. The Mass of noses has grown to a gargantuan size, and a single eye opens above each nose, even the noses on its arms and legs and hands. Noses, everywhere a nose and an eye.>>63673
Torcuil just behind, Infernius begins crawling through the hole in the door. As he peers through the hole, he can see that there is one ballista fully loaded and two more that are being reloaded.
[1d20 = 18]>>63681
I jumo through the hole
Torc fireballs the one that's already loaded
Trumpaladin and Stix ride Fae to the buried tower, flying or running, whichever is faster
[1d20 = 15]
Stix decides to try and shoot that annoying jew that threw rocks at the party, as he rides away with Trump.
Well, Tracy stays in hiding and tries her best to take cover around the sturdiest looking part of the building until the falling rubble settles, her eyes darting around looking for a path to escape.
Infernius deftly leaps through the newly created hole, to the astonishment of the one ballista, which finds its aim is not in line with his position. They quickly begin adjusting the angle of trajectory.>>63683
Torcuil needs another round to exit the hole.>>63685
The many noses sniff the air.
"Oh not this shit again," Thez comments before an ear-deafening roar issues forth from the fully-formed Gigajew.
I run to cover. If there is any.
There isn't any, but for the moment he has a lead on the device, if he continues lateral movement.
Any chance they can get close enough to the buried structure for Trumpaladin to cast Dispel Magic on it, or for Stix to do a search check of where the structure meets the ground?
Sure. It will take Fae a round to fly to that position. As they land a small patch of shadows seems to wave at them.
Tracy waits for the gigajew to inevitably kick down the door, and prepares a ready action to charge by it, grasping edgy in her maw and hoping to Sunder it's sinew in a ride-by-attack, before she runs like a bitch.
I run in a zig zag pattern towards him.
*kick down the wall
Trumpaladin waves back
"I take it you've already tried to get in? What is the situation?"
Gigajew swivels some of its eyes on Tracy, others on Thez. It stands up to its full height, about 40' tall. It towers overhead, a multitude of eyes peering down.>>63693
Infernius continues to present himself as a bright red target. The one ballista can't get a clear shot at him, and the other two ballistae are now fully loaded, but so off aim that it will be a bit before they can take aim.>>63696
Now Torcuil can clear the door and launch his fireball.I wanted to see if Infernius was going to try and hide and leave Torcuil the obvious target or not>>63695
A>"No, mommy went inside along with the anorexic blue one." An elongated bestial scream echoes from the broken window.
[1d20+1 = 21]>>63697
"She got inside of the tower? Say again?"
Well done. Infernius continues to elude the ballista while Torcuil's fireball comes crashing in.>>63700
She's talking about the Synogogue
[10d6 = 40]
[3d20 = 33]
One of the operators successfully runs from his ballista before the fireball comes crashing in, escaping with some charring and burns, while the other two are flame broiled extra juicy.
[1d20 = 11]>>63701
Alright, Trumpaladin dismounts Fae, approaches the surface of the Tower, and casts Dispel Magic on the surface
Caster check I guess
"Me love the smell of napalm in morning."
[1d20 = 15]
Stix hops off Fae for a look at the structure.
“Something doesn’t sit right with me about this.”
Stix looks for any inconsistencies in the surface
Wait, Thez in the building?
Thinking fast, Tracy activates her cape's pattern affect, hoping to blind/daze the beast long enough to get some distance from it. Using a Move action, she whirls her Amazing technicolor dreamcoat to gain one turn's concealment with her Cloak Dance.
He hears a "PEW" sound, as though of a bullet ricocheting off a hard surface.>>63706
The surface is the same polished darkened glass as before, but it hums irregularly.
[1d20 = 13][1d20+4 = 10]>>63707
Thez is what crashed through the window. So Infernius and Torcuil have concluded their invasion. Trump, Fae, and Stix are examining the pyramid, and Thez and Tracy are squaring off with the one of many noses. Tracy, roll initiative.
[1d20+7 = 14]>>63709
Tracy is first, GJ 2nd, Thez 3rd. Despite her best attempts at hiding, the GJ seems to be looking right
"Well, that was a bust.Looks like my first assessment was more probably correct. But... One more thing to try."
With both arms, Trumpaladin picks up the adorable Stix pony and hold him. He then eyes the surface of the tower and with his memories, reconstructs an area inside of the top of the tower (is the control room in the top? I always imagined it was). And then with the signal word, he activates the dimension door helmet to try to transfer himself and stix into the top room of the tower
[1d20+22 = 34]>>63711
Tracy is no longer hiding, but only using her cloak to gain temporary concealment for cheap attack.
Tracy, using her superior speed and mobility, makes a spirited charge at the beast's leg, slashing it with Edgy in an attempt to cut it's sinew and making a ride-by attack so as to put herself on the opposite side of Thez.
*to put the creature between her and Thez
tl;dr, she hopes to flank it on her next turn, if possible.
[1d20 = 7]>>63715
Gigajew sprays mucous in a circular radius around it. Tracy and Thez roll a reaction save.
[1d20+19 = 39]>>63716
[2d20 = 33]>>63719
Tracy and Thez both deftly avoid the spraying mucous, which neatly coats the surrounding environment. Thez flexes her left hand, "Ten-" <whoooof> "-kesdu!" she yells, initiating the first of several attacks, its self a spinning, overhead axe-kick, as a stunning attack.
Meanwhile, Trump attempts to <blink> into the tower. For his efforts, he gets a very hearty jolt.
[3d20 = 32]
Thez' stunning kick lands, temporarily stalling the foe. As she tumbles past and down, Thez makes another 3 attacks.
[2d20 = 5]
... finishing with a reflex saving throw against slipping in mucous, followed by a leg sweep.
[4d20 = 50]
From her flanking position, Tracy makes a full round attack with her chain, stabbing at various noses (which she assumes house the creatures vitals).
Take my sneak attack, Gigastein!
[1d20 = 17]
After being zapped along with trump:
“Ow. This thing won’t give us a break it seems. There has to be something around here. Wouldn’t you think so?”
Stix checks around the structure for any suspicious inconsistencies.
wait, i guess its not her turn..
Leave that as a ready action then.
Yeah, that was a fail for Thez, looking up how bad real quick, still 4 solid strikes tho. While she's failing miserably,>>63726
Ripping and gouging along the creatures, exposed leg Tracy lands 3 solid blows.
I g2g in the next half hour..
Tracy, remaining in optimal flanking position, readies herself to make another full-round Sneak Attack on her turn, taking a 5-foot step to remain directly in line with Thez if necessary.
Unless Stix's Search around the Tower revealed something, Trumpaladin grabs the pony, gets on Fae, and flies off. If there is a top of that keep where they can throw rocks off of, then there is a place to land ontop of it. Trumpaladin has Fae land there, ripping skulls off if necessary, with Stix providing ranged attacks
That's all i can do for tonight.
[1d20 = 2]>>63731
Fae lands along the balcony of the keep's tower, and notices that Lenos (in dragon form) and Kiynen have taken up similar postitions, observing from overhead. Screams can be heard from a ways up the hill, but the keep its self appears still and quiet.>>63730
The Gigajew uses special attack: Stimulus package. Tracy and Thez roll a saving throw.
Quick! Roll a saving throw!
[1d20+10 = 12]>>63733
Enters the structure from the balcony level, dismounting Fae if necessary
The area is in disuse. There are several devices around that if maintained, could be used effectively, but seem questionable at best.
Mounted crossbows and shit. Its all old and decrepid. What are you on about?
like a control panel, anything electrical, a lever, a passageway underground...
Trumpaladin goes deeper into the structure
It is a barracks area, shrouded in cobwebs and dust. There are some old and rusted weapons leaning in spots, but no sign of any military grouping, despite this being an apparent and obvious military installation.
Does it appear to be older than 15 years?
Trumpaladin tries to go down in the structure to ground level
No, but its been several years since its been in use, by appearance and by literal story
S was the Keep as I recall. What were the other two structures besides the Synagogue (as is the best guess) visible from the air?
P looks like a series of shops, S is the synogogue actually, k is the keep, and I looks like an Inn.
[1d4+1 = 2]>>63746
A>"I dunno, but something inside sounds big, and mad. Mom told me to stay outside tho."Sorry, the HEY from before was a navi shitpost
Meanwhile, both Thez and Tracy failed their saving throws and have been stunned for dice rounds by a spray of gold nuggets fired out in every direction by every nostril.
The windows of the synagogue shatter outward with the partial spray of gold nuggets. The oversized multinosed monstrocity reeeeees at the unrecoverable nuggets that escaped outside. It turns angrily toward Tracy, who it has had its ankle devastated by.
Uh... Would Trumpaladin (or Fae or Stix) have reason to notice any of this?Or care
[1d20+16 = 19]
From the top of the Keep, Fae does a spot check for activity
Well they didn't seem too bothered by the deafening roars, why would they care about the breaking glass? e_e>>63753
From the Keep's position lower on the hill, she can't see anything out of the ordinary. The keep is/was intended as a defensive structure for the base of the hill, not against the top where the synogogue is.
When was there a deafening roar?
*runs to the synagogue of Satan*
"Addy follow me but stay out sight"
Oh. I guess they fly to that thenSince Thez is there and she knows the security settings on the Tower...
[1d20 = 13]>>63757
A>"Okkay," she says, holding the darkwood staff, flitting from shadow to shadow
Adeline pulls up her hood, granting +10 bonus to hide in shadows, which are everywhere because of a darkness charm on the staff, following closely behind Infernius.
Trump, Stix, and Fae fly in from the recently cleared and searched keep. Meanwhile, Thez lost her footing and got hit by the gold nuggets, where Tracy only got hit by the nuggets and is still standing. The giga-jew adjusts its position and raises a foot over Tracy for a stomp.
No dex bonus, no dodge bonus, ac is -2 cuz stunned.
Are they in range for an arrow, a roar, a pounce, or a slash?
>>63761>no dex bonus to AC
Tracy has improved uncanny dodge; can't she still evade?
Well, I guess Thez does too, so obviously not.
[2d20+12 = 30]>>63763
As the monstrosity of jewness levels its foot above Tracy for a deterministic stomp a large shadow, almost a swirl of the darkest smoke given a semblance of form and purpose, darts out from the shadows and attacks the giant's stable foot.
I forgot to mention it should be taking 2 points of strength damage every time she flanks it because of Crippling Strike.
It should've lost ~6 points from those few hits.
[1d8 = 3]>>63767
Good to know. It just lost more.
[1d20+22 = 40]
Disrupted by this new attack, the Gigajew foregoes its first attack and takes a step back. With its second attack, it swipes at the shadow.
[8d12+24 = 62]
[1d6+14 = 19]
Successfully, the shadow is torn into smaller pieces
[1d20+22 = 29]
With its last attack, the giant readies its other foot and stomps down on Thez.
The Gigajew screams triumphantly at the conclusion of its attack sequence, still standing on what moments ago was Thez.
[2d20 = 24]>>63772
"You fucking bitch!" Tracy screams in response her eyes darting from the giant beast to Thez,
Because her faggot was too much of a drooling retard to do it earlier, she designates gigajew as her Dodge target, to gain +4 dodge bonus to AC. She takes a -5 penalty to her Attack rolls to gain +5 more AC with Combat Expertise. Gripping her defending dagger in her maw and focusing on her chain, she draws out their enhancement bonus to gain another +7 AC. And her new armor class is... a lot.
Now, thinking fast Tracy's mind flashes back to the moments she spent bullfighting with Infernius, she whirls her sparkling cape to gain total concealment until her next turn with Cloak Dance, as a move action.
With a whirl of colors, for a moment, it seems as though there are two Tracys, who both lash out with their chains.
With her chain in her claws and her mantle aflutter, Tracy uses her last standard action to make two attacks from concealment with her chain, both at her newly adjusted bonus of +15. She targets the leg she attacks earlier, stabbing into the arteries in hopes she damage the beast's leg to an extent that it won't be able to stomp anymore.
Take my cheap, slippery min-maxed attack style, you sniffling freak!
Where are you claiming all of these feats from? None of these were listed the last time you listed six
She got Cloak dance at the same time Infernius was learning Improved Bull Rush. I gave up Leadership for Combat Expertise.
You mentioned it like once in a couple days in between sessions. In actual SRD you only get feats every three levels or as class or race related bonuses. In GMs special things you need 40-50 hours in game time, and that's 40-50 hours that can't be spent killing things or traveling or tending to birds. You don't get a free feat every week of real life time that goes by.
That's not what I'm doing.
TBH, I do remember cloak dance. It was something that when presented I decided I wanted Thez to have it too (and would have had were I aware of it previously).
Like a Valkyrie riding a Pegasus, the Man with gleaming silver armor and dazzling strawberry blonde hair raises his sword high as he flies in, atop a gilded and shimmering lioness. Her outstreched and dragon like wings carry her a few inches over the broken stained glass windows of the ersatz church, her forward claws and fangs stretched and waiting to exact vengeance. Behind the man, a small pony peaks out a bow, string pulled back and arrow readied.
"Alright you European-style socialist sons a bitches! In the name of Elway and all that is holy, it is time to end your blight upon this land forever, and return you to the oblivion you belong!"
So where exactly did we leave off with Torc and Snek?
Weren't they examining the pyramid?
I was under the impression that I was being told not to, and I haven't done anything since he cast fireball
Then Torc is arriving outside the Synogogue at about the same time as Infernius and Addy by foot, and Trump, Stix, and Fae, by Fae, who wastes no time and flies in the very same window Thez entered from. Speaking of Thez, she's right outside the building, nearly collapsed from being stunned but still maintaining her footing. "Tracy,...." she stammers out.
"Huh, guess we're using the windows"
Torc climbs on Snek who is hopefully
under the effect of Fly, and they enter through the same window.
*rushes to thezs side*
"You ok ana?"
*puts himself in between her and the giga kike*
The Gigajew is inside. "I'm just catching my breath. Watch out for his nose. Use some protection spell or something,"
How close is the window from Gigajew?
Not immediately, but the Gigajew is friggin huge if Stix wants to shoot it in an eye
Trumpaladin glimmers extra glimmingly as he casts (cast?) Eagles Splendor on himself and Fae
*protection from evil*
"Me ready to oven this kike*
*moves in to the building*
[3d20 = 23]>>63790
Sounds like a plan
Stix speaks to the paladin
“What is this abomination?”
He quickly takes aim at the monster and uses Rapid Shot to get three shots in at 9/9/4 I think
"I have no idea. But it is evil and unholy, and we are not getting out of here until it is gone"
The door is barred, but the windows are blasted open, including a rather large one.>>63793
The shots embed in the thick skin of the creature, but don't seem to affect it all. However, their presence has given it more to think about than squishing Tracy so that's a win I guess. Roll for initiative.
[1d20+5 = 8]>>63795
Jump through the window
[1d20 = 11]>>63795
Infernius fails, and falls down on his butt. Thez regains her composure and <whooooof> re-enters the building. This precludes Thez from this round of initiative, but puts her in 1st place next round.
[2d20 = 29]
Initiative for Snek and Torc. Snek takes higher roll
[1d20 = 1][1d20+6 = 24]>>63795
Fae and Trumpaladin
[1d20 = 13]>>63798
K so as I'm seeing, Fae is first, followed by Snek, then Torc and Infernius at the same time, with Stix following, with Trump in last.
[3d20 = 46]>>63802
Fae dives in towards the unholy abomination of central-European-style Socialism, and rips at it with Fang and Claw
[1d100 = 33]
That's at least 2 hits, with a possible 3rd (bab?)
She has the multiattack Feat, so it's something like 20/18/18 for the combined attack bonus, and +12 for highest base attack bonus. Possibly a couple points higher
[1d20+31 = 42]
[1d20+30 = 32]
>Torc and Snek next to each other
Snek aims his gun at let giant nosy merchant, and holds his action until Torc can cast True Strike.
Torc then casts a quickened True Strike, affecting him and Snek.
And for Torc's action, he forms a great beam of the purest coldness in Trumpaladin's heart, using it as a polar ray.
The polar ray has the +30, Snek had the +31
Yeah, I'll count it as 3, 1 of which does 2x damage
The creature retracts at the sudden onslaught
[1d20+7 = 11]
Tracy goes with Stix, immediately after Torcuil and Infernius.
Tracy prepares to flank and finish off gigajew's leg
[2d8+2 = 13][17d6 = 62]>>63806
I mean, it isn't a 1
Damages rolls (17d6 polar ray, 2d8+2 snek)
>>63806>The purest coldness in Trumpaladin's heart
And just with saying that, +2d6 of cold damage. Careful not to get frostbite
I stand up. Pull out my holy symbol then cast Destruction on the giga juden.
[10d6 = 34]
No saved, but still the creature is weakened by an intense blast of jackboots and nationalism.
Tracy and Stix' turn, the former whom I assume is going to town on the increasingly injured foot?
[3d20 = 31]>>63817
Tracy whips out Edgy and flanks the creatures leg, slashing viciously, intent on completely crippling the creature.
She's ditched the extra 5 AC from combat expertise now, and is just trying to fuck it up at her full attack bonus.
[3d20 = 30]>>63817
Stix fires another three shots with Rapid Shot with his magical bow.
“Any ideas on how to stop this thing Trump”
[1d100 = 35]>>63821>1
At the beginning of an attack combo, that's unfortunate
So Stix falls over. I understood him still being on Fae's back, if so he would be falling off at this point.
Did Tracy's slashing ruin it's leg yet?
No, its achilles tendon is larger in diameter than Tracy's body.
Did she damage the creature though?
[5d20 = 54]
In a Chanel of all his faith and fury, Trumpaladin brings down Vanderiem like a sharp and swift hammer, channeling all his faith and fury into the repeated slashes.
He utters the following short prayer:
"Elway, give me the strength to smite all those who seek to wipe hope from this land, and bring justice for what has befallen our Port and Sparintenar. Praise American"
Slash Slash Slash Smite Smite with two smite evils, feather fall, and Divine might on all attacks. With Eagle's splendor that is +8 damage on every hit that lands and one turn undead expended.
The bonuses should be 28/23/18/21/21 with smite evil adding the +8 to the last attack and the feather fall attack, and with Trumpaladin claiming the Weapon Focus feat. Smite evil does +17 damage
Fuck! I repeated myself in that paragraph
How much does she need to dig into this leg before it's crippled?
Sorry, the hold up was because it is Gigajew's turn before Trump's, but then I had to do something anyway
*lenos takes flight drom the roof od the keep and flies to the roof of the synagogue*
As Trump readies to wail on the massive creature of noses, and as Lenos and Kiynen arrive on the rooftop, the Gigajew holds its arms out wide, and each one of its eyes glow red
Everyone inside the Synogogue roll a saving throw
[1d20+2 = 10]
[1d20 = 17]
Torc gets an extra +2 to all saves, so that one is his.
[1d20 = 4]
Stix save throw
[1d20+23 = 32]>>63835
[5d8 = 14]
K, everyone takes 5d8 damage
[5d8 = 25]
[5d8 = 16]
Top is Snek
Bottom is Torcuil