/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

To start things off Thez appears before Tracy and asks (pointedly) "Can I have it back now? Ordinarily the party would get mass-raped when my tail is stolen, but the GM-faggot was distracted and forgot to play that part out."

>>5697
>back turned, in the process of squeezing the blood out of "it"
*notices Thez, and turns*
"......"
*begrudgingly hands "it" back, and fucks off*

>>5699
"Thank you!" she calls after, admiring Tracy as she departs.

>>5699
Wait, did she just collect some of Thez' blood? I honestly don't KNOW what that will mean, but I'm certain it will be interesting!

>>5701
>did she just collect some of Thez' blood?
Yes.

>>5695
>Perks up
a fukkin unicorn?

>>5702
Good show!
>>5703
A fukkin unicorn, its in the stable.

>>5703
"Don't trust her. She's a total cunt."
Also, wtf were the mechanics behind her being invulnerable to my attacks last time? Was it some kind of spell? I can't find anything in DnD section on unicorns or /mlp/ that fits the ticket (in /mlp/ universe, they're prone to turn into pussies when their horns are touched, like Goku's tail).

>>5705
The spell is "Ethereal Jaunt", and it allows the user to become temporarily insubstantial.

>>5704
>bolts to stable
Hello majestic creature

>>5707
"Greetings, smelly human," the unicorn smiles at you.

*stealth*

>>5708
Oi, what ye know 'bout Scotland?

>>5710
"Scotland? As in "Earth"? I have heard of this place, but have never ventured. Several of my kind are rumored to have ventured its vast and expansive green-land. I am told it is a most wonderful place. Is that where you are from?"

>>5711
Yes, and I have been looking for an...
Equine
like you as a companian

>>5712
"Oooh, how suggestive of you," she says almost innocently. "I like the sound of a 'companion', it has been some time."
She chuckles to herself.

>>5712
"Do you have a name good Scotsman? I have many names, but of them I prefer the name "Trollestia"."

>>5713
>>5714
NO NO NO
WAIT
That's not what I meant
>>5716
>Trollestia
Oh god
"My name is Torcuil, The meme mage"

"A pleasure my good Torque-wrench. I trust we will have lots of fun together," she smiles.

>>5720
I'll be back in about an hour

"Don't fap, I know I'm sexy," she calls after.

>>5716
>Trollestia
I was going to do everything in my power to Fuck this unicorn, but now I'm afraid

>>5723
Actually, upon further consideration, let it happen

>>5723
I did say it would be a shit-storm, and I wasn't (entirely) talking about Tracy. ^_~

>>5723
ill fuck it before you do.

>>5726
Nuh uh! Also she may be a thot, but she's still a lady. The pronoun is "her"
>using the wrong pronouns

>>5727
she want that bmc bro

>>5728
I think she only likes Paladins

>>5730
And not the cow-thing

>>5731
infernuis hasent met her yet.

>>5732
I think we both know who she'd chose
The answer is Trumpaladin

>>5733
>>5723
>*teleports behind you*
>unstealth
"I'm here for you, Flashy."

>>5737
Gah!

>>5736
babby hands compared to infernuis.

"So what do you guys wanna do now? I mean we can kill stuff, or we can explore, or we can beat eachother senseless (in a very pinkie-pie sort of nonchalant tone), I'm okay with whatever!" Thez is standing on the ceiling, inverted.

>>5739
"I'm not so sure about that"

Did I stutter?

>>5747
You tell me

>>5741
infernuis asks lennos if he needs some help forgeing.

>>5748
Hawt
>>5749
It shouldn't come as a surprise, Thez is psychotic with a penchant for murder and violence. Tracy is,....

>>5751
Similar personalities do not always get along, sodomite.

>>5750
Surprised at the 'sudden' appearance of Infernius (he was fixated). "Oh, its you. What was your name again? Furnace? Hmmm," he looks at the great-sword strapped to your back.
"Oi, ya wanna hand me that?"

>>5744
infernuis also feel sadend by this statement.

>>5754
He's a dick, don't take it personally. Besides, its not that Thez DOESN'T like you (she really does), but she also likes a challenge (read >rape).

>>5753
sure.
*hands sword*

[6d6 = 17]
>>5756
He inspects it from a few different angles, checking its straight-ness, its flexibility, and taps it a few times against the forge.
"Not bad, but lemme try something."
He places it in one of the larger forges and waits a moment, lighting a cigarette from some of the flames spewing outward (singeing a few hairs in the process). After a few moments of it resting in the forge, it begins to take on the characteristic reddish-glow of increased temperature. He quickly pulls it out, and belches all over it. The belch spews napalm all over the entirety of the blade, which he quickly throws back into the forge.
"Almost done," he says, still behind the goggles (they're a bit big and comical for his size). He takes another drag and then pulls the sword, literally on fire and crackling, before whipping it neatly into an oil quench. While it sits in there, he casts firestorm, turning the entire forge-area into a momentary inferno.

>>5757
holy shit lennos

I'm surprised, I thought that would hurt more.
As the sword cools, he does a quick cantrip, and illuminated runes appear on the outside of the quench, which makes a distinct "crack" as it splits open, spilling oil out the side. He pulls the sword out, now blackened and slightly irregular and hands it to you.
It is warm to the touch, despite having fully cooled. He gestures toward a training dummy. "Try it out," he suggests.

"Oh, the command word is "Burn""

Alright, after the incredible haul last night, Trumpaladin has an ambitious set of plans. Overflowing with energy, Trumpaladin begins his day at 3AM, convincing Lenos to move the Pyramid to Port Barry, then securing and auditting the treasury. When that is accomplished, Trumpaladin meets with business leaders of the construction, masonry, carpentry, and other industries in Port Barry. There, he casts the spell THE ART OF THE DEAL to secure amazing contracts to begin construction on a library for magical knowledge in Port Barry, a Stadium-Cathedral for Football, and a monastery-school for Port Barry. Next, Trumpaladin uses the magic of RALLY to deliver a speech before a crowd of the citizenry of Port Barry. He tells them of the coming public works projects, of the jobs he's bringing, and of his intent to secure favorable trade deals. He inspires several to follow him. After this, he spends most of the day with a number of individuals who will compete to become managers of Trumpaladin Franchises. Accordingly, trump casts THE APPRENTICE to determine who has what it takes to be a manager for him. the winners will form the core of his new mendicant order, which will convert Port Barry to Football, train and develop a monastic order that will educate the citizens of Port Barry, train a secular clergy for the new Cathedral, and eventually convert the planet

>>5759
>>5760
i go over to the dummy point my sword at it and say "Burn"

>>5762
The sword blade ignites in flames, which though warm to the feels do not damage you in any way.

>>5761
Noted, and to commence as soon as this is done with Infernius and his (now) Flaming Burst Claymore

[1d20 = 20]
>>5763
is my blade a flame now? or is it just on fire? either way i attack the dummy
>>5761
holy shit dude good plan, do you care if i train some preists aswell?

>>5765
You can certainly try
\r

>>5765
ROFLMAO
Okay, this was going to happen even if you DIDN'T roll a crit, but since you did,....
As the sword (which is a whole and complete blade wreathed in flames) Explodes in flames that quickly consume the dummy.
"Oh shit! That worked better than I expected! I didn't think the napalm would take, I was just going for fire!"
The sword is embued with fire (when "Burn" is stated, and is smothered with the word "Shush") dealing an additional 1d6 damage. In addition, on a successful crit (regardless of the additional damage of the sword AND the fire) does yet an additional damage of 1d10, exploding and dousing the victim in napalm, which its self is a lingering fire.
NOW is when Trump enters and begins his plan, which since it involves conquest and all that, Lenos is actually cool with.

Meanwhile, as the building moves away from its original position and drifts toward Port Barry, a lone figure can be seen near the treeline, looking up at the departing building, with a small device in his hand.

>>5768
As the sword *strikes the dummy....

[6d20 = 67]
>>5771
Unless a 20, I'm pretty sure no one noticed.

Yeah, no one noticed. Consider it foreshadowing.

>>5773
considered

I was going to eat that tail in the last thread, but decided against it in the last moment...
*unfs in awe*

Alright. As the building drifts toward Port Barry, several of the rampart ballistae fire ineffectively at the building (they're not geared toward elevated targets). As it begins to hover overhead, many of the citizens and guards gather at various points along the wall and in the plaza, both in fear and awe. They never expected nor anticipated a floating crystal, and yet dude,... there's a floating crystal. As Trump begins to steel himself for the grand oration he is to deliver, Vandereim whispers to him "Oi lad, hold me aloft, and jump down to 'em. That'll rustle their jimmies!"

*peers over edge*
"They seem pretty butthurt down there..."

>>5776
Trumpaladin jumps down to a set of speakers playing "Shoot to Thrill"
http://youtu.be/4gDch1p4c_M

>>5778
*jumps after, with an excited cackle*

>>5778
Lenos takes advantage and uses the tower to blast the song over some sort of PA system. Trump, leaping magnificently (his armor, his gleaming sword, his complete abandon) descends to the ground at a safe speed, to deliver his rousing speech to the people of Port Barry who, having NEVER seen ANYTHING like this are entirely transfixed.

[2d12 = 20]
>>5779
... that was not the best idea. It won't kill you, but it does hurt.

Trump of course, is sure to have the appropriate lighting conditions

>There, he casts the spell THE ART OF THE DEAL to secure amazing contracts to begin construction on a library for magical knowledge in Port Barry, a Stadium-Cathedral for Football, and a monastery-school for Port Barry. Next, Trumpaladin uses the magic of RALLY to deliver a speech before a crowd of the citizenry of Port Barry. He tells them of the coming public works projects, of the jobs he's bringing, and of his intent to secure favorable trade deals. He inspires several to follow him. After this, he spends most of the day with a number of individuals who will compete to become managers of Trumpaladin Franchises. Accordingly, trump casts THE APPRENTICE to determine who has what it takes to be a manager for him. the winners will form the core of his new mendicant order, which will convert Port Barry to Football, train and develop a monastic order that will educate the citizens of Port Barry, train a secular clergy for the new Cathedral, and eventually convert the planet.
The people of Port Barry join in a tumultuous cheer. There's easily 500+ present in the plaza, with many more in the surroundings.
>>5782
Of course he does, Thez is a performer and can do those things. I'm not even bothering to roll, cuz his 'hand' is stacked.

>>5781
>ouch
*hobbles to feet*

>>5783
"We will Make Port Barry Safe Again, we will make Port Barry Work Again, and we will MAKE PORT BARRY GREAT AGAIN!"

>>5785
Of course you're in the scene! You were the first to land, and in spite of the pain (oh she's had WAY worse), they know you're part of the same group/team. In fact, seeing you fall from such a height and shrug it off only increased the group's image and yours personally.

>>5786
>unrelented cheers and many hats fly into the air.
This truly is not what they expected when they woke up in the morning, let alone when the crystal started hovering overhead. They thought it was doom, and instead here is the promise of prosperity and emergence. The town is quite wholly (perhaps with a few exceptions cuz there's always contrarians) in favor of this magnificent golden-haired man with his gleaming armor and sword, who was party to the elimination of the rats which already improved their situation, now promising increasingly better circumstances and prosperity. What's NOT to love?

>>5788
Well if you're referring to the ability mods for Dwarves or Half-orcs, don't worry I was gonna waive that. I was thinking +1 Str +1 Con, -1 Wis, -1 Dex.

>>5785
Trumpaladin can have sidekicks

>>5788
And, even that was just guideline. Tracy is going to be naturally and appropriately dexterous so don't worry about the dex, and the -Con was cuz as a pony she's kinda skinny.

>>5793
>homebrew
I'll consider it, but I'm wary of 'other ppls' homebrew. There are plenty of fags who make homebrew. Me, not excluded

>>5789
Trump ends with a call to help volunteer work on his Cathedral, and to convert to the One True Football, attributing his success to Football

>>5795
Dozens of city-folk surge forward; peasants, tradesmen/women, soldiers, etc. (no politicians tho Xp), all eager to learn more, to touch that MAGNIFICENT man, or just caught up in the moment.

>>5797
Homebrew = user generated (may be good, may be shit)

>>5796
Trumpaladin has a table to sell his book, "Think Football and kick ass," written by him actually ghost written by someone else to the peasant who approach

This one seems pretty reasonable (I suspect it was an MLP fan). Works for me.

>>5799
Thez where did she come from whispers in his ear "Don't be a jew, we've got plenty of money."

>>5801
Trump responds, "regardless, they need to read about Football."

>>5801
"The money is just a way of keeping score, for my Flashy."
*Eyes shop displaying wedding dresses in the background*

>>5727
>>5726
>>5724
>>5723
STOP TRYING TO FUCK THE UNICORN

>>5805
If it happens it happens

>>5805
Yay! Torcuil is back!
>>5804
You know, even before this display the city is willing to cater to the party,....
>>5803
"Do they look like readers? Just give it to them before they start to second-guess."

>>5807
"Way ahead of you. And it's available on audiobook as well"

>>5807
Oi, ye better believe
>>5806
I said no shaggin' de unicorn ye one eyed cunt

>>5805
I will galdly support your ship, if you respect mine (but I swear, if you ever try to get in the way of our love, I'll shove a knife into her pooper, and strangle you with her intestines!)

>>5808
"For FREE!" Thez interjects with a microphone. Yes, she has a microphone. The crowd cheers in response.

>>5810
Meanwhile, in the stable, Trollestia chuckles at the proceedings.

>>5809
unicorn get minotaur dick

>>5808
"Showmanship," she taunts as she wanders about the crowd, gesturing to and fro and whipping (political-style) the crowd into increased interest and participation.

>>5810
Am I goona have to start speaking in french so y'all don't misinterpret my meanings?
>>5812
Real question,
Description?

>>5811
Trump is genuinely peeved at Thez evidently taking revenge for Trumpaladin taking all of the jewels, but he's glad to see that his book is wanted, and it's good to get the word of Football out

>>5813
"oh please, you simpleton"
>>5809
You think that hottie over there belongs to you alone, do you?

>>5815
Do you mean "WTF has happened?"

>>5816
Surely you're familiar with the anime-gesture of pulling one eye open and sticking the tongue out?

>>5820
>Weeaboo faggotry
No. Not in the least

>>5819
What?
I meant a description of Trollestia
>>5818
Fuck you
>>5813
Fuck you
>>5810
B E G O N E T H O T

>>5822
>Description of Trollestia
THOT

>>5822
Pic related, except a white mane/tail and no crown or shoes.

>>5822
>>5818
how about we go to trollestria and let her decide.

>>5824
I don't know what I expected

Updated

>>5824
Trumpaladin has in mind pic related. If not this, then Trumpaladin will import this from this planet's equivalent of Slovakia

>>5825
"Oh she'll chose me"

>>5831
wanna bet?

>>5832
"Why would she want a cow?"

>>5833
Can I leave now?
fucking children...
>walks off

>>5833
why would she want a monkey in armor?

"You know what, there's an easy way to settle this. Under the common law rules of property, ownership in a feral animal vests in he who first captures it - the rule of capture. That'd be Tracy. I don't believe she's been formally transferred to Tourcil, so Tracy still owns her."

"Tracy, can I have the Unicorn?"
>>5835
*Orange-haired God

Right. So. The party is all assembled, and the city-folk are in a jubilant frenzy, taking up both books and audio-books (not sure how that works, but I'll just leave it, kind of like hammers in MLP) and volunteering/offering themselves to participate in Trump's grand design. The whole city is in celebration.
And that's when HE shows up.

High in the air, what appears an elderly human literally walks nonchalantly on the air, laughing at the proceedings.
"What a remarkable display. I'm quite impressed"

>>5838
Trumpaladin senses a threat

>>5838
>>5839
i cast detect jew.

>>5836
>You know what, there's an easy way to settle this. Under the common law rules of property, ownership in a feral animal vests in he who first captures it - the rule of capture. That'd be Tracy. I don't believe she's been formally transferred to Tourcil, so Tracy still owns her."
>Feral
Pretty sure talking horses don't count as feral

>>5840
Yeah he do.
Thez' eyes turn red, all mirth and enjoyment blasted away.

>>5841
Oh, he's more than a jew in this world

>>5838
I cast capitalist sheild

>>5845
He snaps his fingers and the shield dispels as it was cast.

"It has been quite some time since I've seen humans so,... animate. Whatever could be the cause of such revelry?" he condescendingly bantz.

>>5847
A 'normal' unicorn, yes

>>5848
"... bitches..." she aswers under her breath
>>5849
You'd better make her abilities clear later. I don't want an albino Starlight Glimmer in this story.

George continues, "And what have we here! A paladin am I right? I do sooooo love the taste of Paladin, with a healthy crowd of innocents to boot!" He continues.
Thez looks at Trump (and whoever is near, its kinda inspecific at the moment, but non consequentially): "This is BAD," she's serious.

>>5848
Trumpaldin comes out to great the aging man he believes he once saw in a Steven Spielberg and George Lucas film.

"We're making Port Barry Great again" he answers with confidence

>>5852
So, uhh
Soros, huh
>furiously checks spells for something useful

>>5852
>implying I'll let anyone else get a taste of my Paladin
"And who are you, Sir?"

>>5852
"quickly," he whispers, "Set up a twitter account for me. We're going to need it"

Think of Childish insults to call Palpentine over there

>>5853
"ARE you now? Quite a noble sentiment little human! I'm impressed enough that I won't kill you outright! To whom have I the pleasure of,... meeting (it sounds like he says 'eating')?"

[1d20 = 15]
infernuis jumps from the crystal towards the king kike and says burn

>>5856
>twatter
Wut?

>>5857
"I am Trumpaladin. Former Guard of the Emperor and now the liberator and restorer of Port Barry"

[1d20 = 3]
>>5858
OOOoooooggggghhh! That's right!

>>5859
"It's a means to insult people before a large audience. Just do it"

>>5860
"And I am his lawfully-wedded wife and noble steed, Tracy Cage!" the pale horse declares proudly

[1d20 = 20]
Sigh. He swats you aside effortlessly. "Cute, is this your milk-cow Trumpaladin? I am Soros, master of the Abyss, lord of the damned and king of all that is unholy!"
"HORSESHIT! You have no legitimate claim to the throne!" Thez yells from the crowd.
"A familiar voice? Most curious! Step forward!" He reaches his hand out and clenches his fist.
Thez grounds herself and observably resists his actions.

>>5856
>>5854
Make us some meme, dumb frog summoner!

>>5865
I don't think so....

[1d20 = 3]
Sweet! She succeeded, and she disappears.
He scans the crowd to determine who spoke (both Thez and Tracy)

>>5864
"SHE IS NOT MY WIFE OR MILK COW!"

>>5865
With a 20,... but disintigrate isn't necessarily an instant kill

>>5865
me dont think so i say from the inside of a colapsed building.

>>5872
"I SWEAR TO GOD TRACY!"

[1d20 = 16]
>>5870
>20
anything else and nothing happens
KEK SAVE ME
>>5872
Fuck off with soccer

>>5873
"I have to do SOMETHING with them!"

>>5864
ME A BULL YOU KIKE REEE

>>5875
"YOU CAN BURN THEM"

>>5863
"Are you now, little pony. You know, we have plenty of places in the Abyss for the likes of you. Wait, you smell of blood. Why would a pony smell of blood I wonder? No matter," he turns again to Trump.
"Is this then your congregation?" he gestures above the crowd.

>>5872
Rly?

>>5877
"And set all the spirits free?! That's crazy!"

>>5878
>gold-steel
>from an enemy you would meet soon
>Soros is Jew
I still have my rapier, right?

>>5878
"They are Port Barry"
>>5880
"If that ball is good for anything, it's as a dodgeball"

>>5882
I swear to God I will deport you

[1d20 = 3]
>>5876
infernuis whispers kek towords kike

>>5883
Trump, take my sword
The impure gold will be his weekness

[1d20 = 14]
>>5882
Noted
>>5881
Not THAT one,....
>>5874
Did you just try and disintigrate him?
>>5885
"Ahahahahah! Most interesting, most INTERESTING! A bull who knows the word of chaos! There is more here than meets the eye! I'm going to take my time with this! Starting with-" and he's cut off.

>>5886
Trump wields now both Vanderiem and Tourcil's sword,
"WE WILL NO LONGER SURRENDER THIS CITY OR ITS PEOPLE TO YOUR FALSE SONG!"

[6d12 = 23]
From the heavens (remember that time she fell from the sky and punctured the giant's brain? That's a particular technique of hers) Thez lands a two-footed falling stomp technique that knocks George solidly to the ground, she falling near to him, the both a small distance from Trump, Tracy, Torcuil, the crowd, and (in a slightly different direction) Infernius."

>>5889
"Psst! Boy! That sword is sheit! Grab me with both of yer wee hands!"

>>5891
Sorry, he completely disregards the soccer ball. I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish with it. I will try and figure a scenario in which that works, but this is NOT it.

>>5892
Not sure of what to do, Trumpaladin hands Tourcil his sword back, and grasps Vanderiem as if he were a baseball bat, and looks at the now-grounded George as if he were a guy who hadn't paid back his mafia-loan

[1d20 = 14]
>>5894
>>5890
infenuis charges soros with horns.

Thez and George both climb to their feet.
"And now it all makes sense. I didn't think the likes of these could speak Blasphemy such as can be seen in your wake. It was YOU wasn't it?"
"GTFO! You have NO business here, NO contracts!" Thez screams.
"I need no contract, because you have something that is MINE!"
"What I have is RIGHTFULLY mine, at least until succession has been decided," Thez retorts.
"Ahhh! But the Rockefeller is DEAD. NONE exist who can oppose me, and I'm taking back what is rightfully MINE!"

>>5893
It doesn't have to be a positive affect. I just wiondered how a creature of darkness would react to concentrated anti-football...
*pulls giant knives out of knife cozy*

[2d20 = 5]
>>5896
Seeing Infernius' charge, Thez pulls out a fist-sized navy-blue stone. "Oh you mean this? You're welcome to (this is the point that Infernius hits) take it if you CAN!"

>>5897
"I don't know what you're talking about here, but Port Barry is now of a free people" he says to George, but now also to Thez, uncertain of the meaning of her words

[1d20 = 7]
Unfortunate, your gore attempt does only grazing damage, as you glance off some field or aura protecting him.
"This one again? Away!"