ITT Roleplaying
Classic Tabletop D&D (3.5e mostly)
New players welcome, most especially our recent pony addition
Its always some level of nuts in this thread, and this moment does not disappoint.
All kinds of things have happened, the result of which is that with over a week passing in meat-space the party is still right where they left off at.
Tracy is venturing to the mountains with her floofy-faced, hutungous birbs in an oversided wagon, hoping to give them a chance to have a moment with their biological father.
Trump, for some reason, is quite butt-hurt by this. What? Its true,....
Thez is enjoying the first decent night's sleep in over a week, Infernius contemplates (((genocide))) (does it work in that context? I mean he's contemplating their genocide of course), and Torcuil learns that Death is a pretty cool chick with a morbid sense of humor in an absurd job that you wouldn't think is a job, but its literally a job. So yeah, next time he wants to hit her up, just blow ur brains out or something.
Last thread got to over 1800 posts <trumpet fanfare> but that shit is impossible on mobile and cumbersome at best otherwise so,....
1302 replies and 155 files omitted.
I feel so betrayed...
Hit right in the feels
>>54543How Stix has been doing: pic related
we don’t have to go back to him tonight if we are getting tired >>54544How so?
So as this night and session come to a tenative close (tenative, cuz its technically always ongoing), Stix is out wandering through various parts of the forest. He's actually well on his way to Trollestia's grove, but who knows where he'll end up? Tracy is playing with toys, except these toys become real-life goats, music accompanying one and ill temper the other.
Characters are free to act (limited to my ability to respond, since I know a stack of consequential actions will probably occur Xp)
>>54545I'll wait until I am actually proven right on this one>>54543Uh... I think Trumpaladin needs to talk to someone
>>54547I don't even understand your meaning.
Please note, play is not suspended, but this is the point where I really start shitposting, just so its known
>>54548I mean that he needs to speak with allies (Baz, in this case) about the geo-political situation, in order to inform them of what happened, learn how they can help, and also get a better understanding of what they are up against (because he still doesn't know anything about seven factions, who those pirates were, or anything but that kefka exists in the Court City with a bunch of undead)
Well, Tracy spends a few more mintues eating lunch with the two goats while her faggot attends to things.
>>54548>play not suspendedStix, clearly making no progress with the trail, sets up camp. He expertly weaves branches, leaves, and grass into a tent like structure.
He then builds a small fire and stares into it, desperately trying to recall his past.
he wouldn’t try so hard if he knew what he would remember >>54549Ah, okay
>>54551Oh he was doing fine. Trouble is, theres miles of gibbernigger trails. Luckily, the easiest way to find them is to be out at night. ^_^
>>54552Ah, that’s nice... but I still don’t know what a gibbernigger is!
>>54552Unless of course,
Trump can investigate the disappearances
>>54295I'm only just getting to this,...
dude
>>54521I can't stop watching thing this video for some reason...
After lunch, Tracy goes off to the holodeck and practices her new stance.
>>54558I think I want to open a dojo nao.
Now that I think of it, it makes more sense for Tracy to be teaching martial disciplined to the followers of her 'cult' rather than any spooky religious undertones. Would actually contribute more to society too, since the teachings of her house could be passed down.
>>54561For two reasons, first, this is attempt 91001 for Tracy's faggot to try to get free sneak attack every single round. Because that's exactly what this is. This is "if an opponent fails to hit you in a round, you get flanking." Which is sneak attack. But obviously opponents are going to miss a substantial portion of the time. Hell, even a high level warrior type with a +12 +7 +2 is probably going to miss on one of three of those even if it's an insanely strong fighter. Or a huge dragon is going to miss with one of its six attacks. And boom! Free +100 damage in a round just cause he found a homebrew that say that
But also, why does his character get so much more time than ours? He gets to attack a wagon. And he gets to drive into the mountains. And he gets to Wait 30 minutes as ogres fight. And he gets to come back, and then be there for a new character, and then go on an investigation which he frustratingly cuts short. And
then he gets an ogre fight, and then a goat things scene. And then more training? Like how much more slowly does time pass for this character than for all of the others?
Infernius's character got what... Suit shopping? Mine got a brief conversation and a plane ride. Same with Torcuil.
>>54563There is always a spotlight hog anon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get along.
And get creative. The reason we see so much of Tracy is because that character is more outgoing, more direct in approach. The character isn’t afraid of consequence, so goes into danger. This danger means more dedicated time to resolve those conflicts.
I get it, you want more time to role play. It seemed very lacking today, I will agree, but approach this calmly and we can figure something out.
>>54564>The characterIt's because the faggot is entirely dedicated to this while I was driving part of yesterday and out with a friend today, and then tonight GM focused more on him than the others
>>54563Okay. I appreciate your attention to detail, and hope we can resolve this civilly. Now please, put the gun down.
Seriously though I get where you're coming from, and such a thing would be a piece of cake for like, Thez
"Bah, that stance assumes your opponents are weak, I would never use it!" or others such. I did say it wouldn't be precisely that technique.
>>54565And I feel the GM is a bit biased for Tracy’s faggot as well, probably because the GM has a bit more fun with those scenarios. Look at what we are doing: I’m walking on a dirt road, and you were flying a ship. Now look at Tracy: running around, killing stuff, making goats.
Which would you choose? I won’t say it’s fair, but you got to understand where it is coming from.
Now, let’s think up a way to balance this problem. Maybe limit the turns a player can have in a row before it must be another player’s turn, no ifs ands or buts.
>>54565Thats true, I did. It seemed fitting since we all holed out for a week-ish in discord while he sat along without any word and discord fugging up instantly. So yeah, I let him take the lead a bit. It seemed fair and fitting in the long run.
>>54567Mostly I was jealous because I wanted to play out the investigation. Slovenia was just such a screamingly obvious suspect that I absolutely would have interrogated her. And besides that, the Adam character was stated to be at the Rusty Duck and the flower shop was not investigated...
>>54563Oh stop it.
If you're going to be the rulecuck, why don't you quit wearing two suits of magical armor, or stop wearing a helm and a circlet at the same time, or send off that 17d10 magical beast companion, or that Homebrew feat that gives you four extra spells.
Most of your haxx are seemingly subtle thing that actually go a long ways in the end, often requiring Epic Level feats under normal SRD rules. You're allowed to do all that, because nobody else complains: none of the other party members care if your character has things to make him more effective, sometimes they even encourage it. You on the other hand complain about everything: every session your always policing the other characters on how they play the game, as if it's your place to decide what the rules are. Why can't you just relax and let the GM be the one to decide what he want to allow before you get butthurt?
>"""Free""" Sneak attackIt's not hard to get a """free""" sneak attack, even when you're one square away from your enemy. A smokebombs, darkness, a cloak dance, a concealed weapon.. etc. There's many methods to provide 1-turn concealment or flanking for a Sneak Attack. I like this one because she can use it without blinding party members, and it gives her allies a bit of advantage.
Why do you even care what my character can do?
>>54570>homebrewUsed twice ever and was intended to counterbalance your insistence on playing contrary to other players at the time. The difference is
I don't ask for more things all the time.
>not hardGreat, do that
>>54567The goats were a hold-over from a previous session. Other than that I was trying to avoid getting started into a lengthy cinematic description only to say "whoops, we'll finish later" with Trump and co at Sparintenar. So again, yes I did allow Tracy to get a little silly.
>>54569This is so many levels of inside-job autism that I'm taken aback. Kudos for the thought, but thats SO not it.
>>54570>Why can't you just relax and let the GM be the one to decide what he want to allowI am letting GM decide. I'm just arguing for why I think it should be one way
>>54569Ah, I knew about the Rusty Duck, but not a flower shop. You think the girl is suspect huh? Could very well be, but both my character and Tracy couldn’t see it, so that is our failing. When you get back from your trip, you could ask us about the investigation, and then go out for yourself to find out things.
>>54574He just wants an excuse to use "enhanced interrogation" on her Xp
>>54572>As soon as you see her, she is destroying a human figurine that has a name on it - a coworker?>She is mesmerized by the thought of "what if that were a real person" like there's a pleasure to it>She takes pleasure in being called "the Saw horse" - a name that has a double meaning in being compared to a fictional serial killer>She has zero regard for the person who (presumably) is dead or at least in an unpleasant position>She likes that he is gone, that is, had a motive to get rid of himI absolutely would have interrogated her
>>54576Tbh, I was getting that feel from her too, but Tracy wouldn't be one to pry about those sort of things, unless she were offering to get rid of other annoying coworkers.
>>54576Couldn’t see just fire the guy or get her helpers that were loading the trebuchet to keep him away? Why go to the trouble of murder?
>>54578That's why you should have taken the Paladin...
He may not have "gather information" or "search" but he's got sense motive like nothing else, besides magic like Zone of Truth, Discern Lies, and is strong enough to win a grapple
>>54579Maybe she could. But Adam is the actual owner. And if she's a sadist and a sociopath, she'd be just fine killing him rather than firing him
>>54579I find the image of some faggot "accidentally" having their leg caught on a 90 kg stone projectile that was promptly flung over 300 meters, to be absolutely hilarious.
>>54580Totally not what I was thinking with all of it, but please continue
Okay, pretending to sleep nao
>>54580He was going to Sparta though.
>>54580Well, I did ask you to come along
>>54077Plus, I thought the Will thing was a joke, you know:
Fire at will!
>>54584... a joke, yes... lets go with that
>>54585Makes as much sense as a blue pony with knifes and blood lust eating with two goats see summoned, at least to me.
>>54586Why can’t I spell she today? It’s always see... damn it
Tracy trains in the holodeck for the rest of the afternoon, stopping only to take notes on her newly-developed combat maneuvers, and to feed her birds (who sleep for most of the day).
>>54583I know. And it was frustrating because I wanted to dimension-lock shackle her (because she can teleport now for some reason), cast zone of Truth on her, and do some serious interrogation.
>>54584I'm betting on fantasizing about killing coworkers
>>54588And I'm sure you'll declare more actions for her later
>>54589>teleportShe's a unicorn. I thought with her being all excited about maybe blowing stuff up, she might just manage it since it didn't seem consequential. Chill
>>54589I think I like the ambiguously sinister Slovenia a bit better. I have a dark sense of humor.
>>54589like you haven’t wanted to put the names of people you hate on a target and mow it down before
Or is that just me and I’m just as evil?
>>54592Well obviously on it's own it doesn't mean much, but in the totality of the circumstances, I think we have at least reasonable suspicion
>>54594And like I said here
>>54574When you get back, have at an interrogation. Your free to do so.
"Wait, WHAT? That's IT? Oh HELL no," yells a voice as if from nowhere.
Stix, you haven't met Thez yet.
"I didn't sit through all that monkey bullshit for over a week, just to sit here while everyone fast-travels around! I had stuff that I wanted to do!" she says, from the middle of the quarantine area,... that's still holding sjws from that one time,....
>>54595That's forever from now though
>>54590>She's a unicornPls gibe Earth-Pony Strength for Tracy.
Or at least for the sake of performing cartoonish mundane tasks, like pulling oversized wagons up mountains.
*Wanting of things intensifies*
>>54597I know, it’s hard when you made a choice you think isn’t going to be as fun. But here is my advice:
You can make an excuse to come back, like claim you forgot something and then ask us how it goes and start the interrogation, or... pick up some torture equipment on your journey there and say you need to drop it off back at base, then do all the stuff from part one
>>54595Quick terms:
Rusty Duck: Port Barry (home city) Local Favorite Eatery, Pub, Inn, etc.
Sticky Wicket: Favorite Eatery, Inn, Pub, etc. of travelers and Thez, because they stock her favorite booz.
Belligerent Gnome: Local weapons shop, featuring fine-masterwork equipment as available.
There's also a Mage shop, a Butcher shop, a tailor shop, and a variety of equally-specific trades and crafts shops.
>>54600I will definitely look into these... when I can find my way out of the forest
>>54601Were you trying to go all the way to that city with the Elven name or just to see if you could find Trollestia? Because those are two radically different things
>>54602*writes the pro-tip in journal*
Awesome, be everyone will know what I failed at once I get alll the tips written down and they find it next to my remains
<cont>Ben Shapiro runs the Jewelry shop
There's a device in the building/tower (literally Trump Tower) that will resurrect a person off of a stored drop of blood (in case they get squished) called the entertron
>>54601Not so fast, its night time in the forest. I'm already a couple hours late getting to sleep, so I'm not gonna begin that shit, but don't be surprised if Stix is fighting for his life very soon in game time.
>>54603I had no idea the grove was on the map, so yeah, I was headed to the elf looking name on the map.
>>54609Don't worry about it.
My character spent most of her time trying to expand the map as well. Exploring is good.
>>54609Uh... How skilled is your character at diplomacy? That's not a Ranger class skill. No one has been to that area before. Trumpaladin pointed out the direction of the grove and what it looks like
>>54609Oh, you won't die. Well, you
might die I suppose, but thats a later on issue
>>54611Like I said, I don’t know D&D, so I could be as skilled as a doorstop for all I know, but if I was to make a diplomat skill, it would be decent
And yeah, you pointed that out, but I don’t know what’s what on the map yet.
>>54612What is the quickest character death you have seen in these six months, if any have died?
>>54613>QuickestSometimes, GM will get irritated/bored and make your character explode spontaneously.
Other than that, I don't think anyone has died, except for Torc who got turned to sand by mummies.
>Inb4 Tracy is kill
>>54613Online? No one has died quickly (so 3-4 months), and no one lastingly. IRL, one guy died during the first session, and while shortly revived, he was re-killed shortly thereafter
>>54614Well then... next time I will get to see if I break some sort of record. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I would like to survive past the first day if possible, heh.
>>54615Sorry to here some died IRL, was revived, but later died anyway. How was the funeral?
Tracy's faggot pretends to go to sleep.
>>54613The only character deaths have been Torcuil who was mauled to death by a lion (not in combat) and Torcuil getting killed by mummy rot after an encounter (which no one noticed he was infected with)
>>54619There was also the time that Torcuil and Tracy exploded cuz GM was on a proxy and they asked "Who r u?"
>>54620Note to self, never ask who someone is. You may explode.
>>54620What a way to break a six month no-dying streak..
>>54621Good idea.
>>54621Exploding isn't so bad, you just wake up in the entertron, revived and refreshed. The only downside?
You're still hungry.
>>54623But is it you? Or is it just a clone programmed with your memories?
>>54623What happens if you die of starvation?
Now that I think of it, I don't think anyone ever fed those orcs... Might test it out myself later just to see what happens.
>>54624In the D&D universe material beings are hylomorphic. They consist of both the material component and an immaterial "soul" that is not destroyed on death (normally) and can be used to resurrect the character
>>54625Yeah... if you come out just as hungry from the device, which is starving, then it would be an endless death loop.
>>54625She'll probably miscarry first
>>54624Its "you", Stix as opposed to "you", Stix' faggot. Otherwise we're not going to get into arguments of authenticity of a synthesized body.
>>54625"Oh now you say that, after I just fed them!"
>>54627One can prevent the body degradation from starvation by repeatedly using the entertron, but its the law of diminishing returns in that event
>>54629Well guys, I absolutely cannot stay wake any longer. I will try to be on tomorrow. See you then.
>>54633I definitely need to look through the previous threads to see how those happened.
>>54634Let's see,
>1st timeWe don't speak about this on
Shitposted by rolling to shoot Trump.
Got a fucking Nat 20
Autism/cancer happened, and Fae had killed Torc even after GM's insistence that my action never happened>2ndWe fought mummies, Torc got hit during battle. Afterwards, Torc healed everyone, but they were all being loot faggots and failed to notice Torc dying on the floor until it was too late.
>3rdPosted "You are a pirate" GM got it stuck in his head, gave Torc an aneurysm.
>4thNew ID appeared in a thread.
Tracy's faggot and I asked who they are.
Cue head explosions.
>>54635You know, you could have told us that you failed your saving throw
>We do not speak of thisOh come on, the image of a weak wizard being mauled to death by a companion animal is hilarious
>>54639I didn't know I had a saving throw, or what the hell it was even for.
>We don't speak of itI was referring to
the one things unless you'd like to inform the new player of them?, but it isn't as hilarious when it was for nothing
>>54638Do you know what Tracy's faggot meant by that?
>>54643I will always hate you for making me read that with my own two eyes
[1d20+31 = 37]
Rolling to perform some acrobatic tricks to practice maneuvers and put on a show in the town's square, because why not.
Eagle's Splendor for extra Char on the Dance check.
Does the spartan town have a library?
>>54648Can't get enough of those jumping horses.
>>54650Horses are majestic as fuck
[1d20+39 = 59]
Well if Tracy's faggot is going to just declare this sort of shit then so am I
Give a grand speech on the holiness of Football and Elway, using both charm domain powers and Eagle's splendor
Wait a minute.. Why am I practicing circus tricks at a port, when I could be helping out the negotiations and entertaining the Spartans?
Is what Tracy thinks, as she finishes landing a backflip.
Tracy speeds off towards Spartintar like a lil blue bolt, hoping to catch up with her husband.
>>54654What charm spell did you use?
>>54654PRAISE AMERICAN!
>>54656It's the charm domain special power. A +4 charisma bonus for a minute
[1d20 = 7]>>54654Well i might aswell do stuff too.
>gives speech on the glory and righteousness of national socialism.
>>54660I dont know why i suspected i would succeed.
[1d20+4 = 8]Stop touching the bump limit dammit>>54660Torc gives a TED talk on the magic of memes
>>54659I want a Domain...
Think I'll take a feat like that in a couple levels. I think Madness Domain would be good for Tracy's Inflict Spells, since her Wis is so low.
>>54521I've been listening to this for an unhealthy amount of time now...
I need a pony song.
>>54671Never was a big fan of rock, but that’s just me.
I’m at chapter one on this song, (props to them making such a long song, that takes effort) but they lay on those drums like it’s a battle when they are explaining the peaceful times the empire had. Just seems out of place to me.
I liked those “ye olde” ballad parts though. I always enjoyed the old classical music to more modern music.
>>54673I find the classical/rock to be pretty interesting, never heard it before.
>>54674Wut
>>54671Thanks. That at least was able to gas the fucking moeblobs hopping around in my brain.
*revels in being the mouth piece of God, as he continues to preach pure Truth*
>>54683I outta fix the eyelashes on that pic sometime.
>>54680It's been that kind of day...
I made this shitty recolor, just because Infernius asked for it.
-Garfield! If you erase Monday from existence, Tuesday will just take its place!
-Then I'll erase everything, starting with you, Jon. Now come, show me what you're made of!!
>>54693But, then there would be no lasagna...
>>54694Garfield does things he sometimes regrets on Mondays..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6GHTdBign0 >>54693I can relate to Garfield better than most other fictional characters
>>54695I have no idea how this works... sorry. Trying to, but it may take some time
>>54698I think that's what made his comic so popular.
>>54700*but still hasn't found the Paladin with the incredible hair*
Tracy brings Sparkle with her because she's lonely and he could use a walk.
>>54704Alejandro Garcia-Menendez?
>>54705Even Infernius isn't dumb enough to give a doggo a name too long for him to remember.
>hiss that sounds a lot like "yahtzee"
"We're playing fucking blackjack, BLACKJACK DAMMIT"
>>54707It's the name on his birth certificate
>>54709He's undocumented: he has no birth certificate.
>>54710But he still has an Acta de Nacimiento
>>54712Okay, Alejandro "brillar" Garcia-Menendez it is
>>54713Or "Destello." I like that one
>>54715Brad insists on giving Infernius's doggo a Spic name.
>>54715The name of Infernius's Chihuahua
>hiss "king me"
Chess peice fly around the room
>>54695Damn my mobile posting. It won’t let me just search it for some reason. Looks like it isn’t going to happen.
>>54719You need an account for it anyway. It's just the EqG movie.
Tracy dashes towards Sparta at 500 ft/round, Sparkle sticking his head out of her saddlebag with his tongue flapping about like a flag.
rolling Sparkle's Ride check, because I'm that bored.
>>54733It appears that Sparkle excels in riding ponies.
>>54735Sparkle deserves some love. Tracy is delivering him to Infernius, so she can berate him for not taking proper care of him.
>>54736That's not why, but whatever. Sure, deliver Destello to Infernius
>>54738And you named him "Sparkle," which sounds like a homosexual stripper
>>54739Infernius named him.
>stripperGet your head out of the gutter. That's perfectly fine for a dog's name.
>>54739Do you know of many homo strippers to know about that?
Just playing with ya.
>>54740Well so is Alejandro. Anyways, why do you care?
>GM collapses for the second day in a row
>>54745Eh, uneventful, but still tiring..
>>54747Good question. Unknown at this time.
>>54748How many rounds would it take Tracy to gallop to Sparta at full speed?
>>54749You know, she literally has all day.