Continuing the (eh?) compelling story of Torcuil the Meme Magician, Trump the (ahem) Shining and Resplendent Paladin, Tracy the edge-lord (multiple meanings there), and Infernius the Minotaur.
The party has found its self overlooking a rocky hillock leading toward a town into which several large and small rivers connect. Chirpy birds 'bweeet' from their nests and posts, while squirrels jubilantly roll in the dirt (they do that FYI) while foraging for resources.
It is the very depiction of the phrase "Whatever could go wrong?".
Join us new viewers and anons, for a spectacle of autism and bemusement. ITT we continue,...
(u just lost BTW)
CNFY anon, are zMjJ anon by a different IP? (Are you the game master of the previous threads?)
I have never tripfagged, so thats an ineffective criteria. I am the anon who has created the world of the Game. I alone grasp the 1000s of years that have led from session to session, party to party, and anon to anon. I alone know the secret of that superfuck who keeps firetrapping the rooms, and only through me can the player perceive anything other than a bunch of grown men playing with imaginary dolls.
Pic related, shall I go on?
Tl:dr This is a sincere and consistent transition from the last session to the current.
For those unaware, the game typically runs on Saturday nights, with wanton bants to be had as available through the week. Meaning, Saturday night (ish, depending on timezones) we get together and pretend to brutally murder shit. We engage in thoughtforms of creation and negation, to arrive at a point where none are truly satisfied and all are wanting more. I can wax idiotic about the metaphysical gainz that result of such practices, but knowing doesn't augment (indeed, it inhibits) progress developed along these lines so I will stop.
It's midnight and I'm sick with the Flu, but I'll be damned if I'm going to miss this while everyone else moves on.
>>2429>is suddenly in a darkened room with a single overhead spotlight as the only source of reference.
"WHY ARE YOU SICK WITH THE FLU">commands/asks a disembodied voice
This aside, players are freely welcome to interact with their environment (within reason) in an agreeable sense to many forms of console gaming (except gainz, those have to be approved. Everywhere r gains.).
current situational map, per perspective
>*shameless blogposting intensifies*
Might not be the Flu, but it sure feels like it. Pretty sure my brother gave it to me.
Ah, I see. You threw me off your scent for a minute there.When logged in as a moderator, a hashed version of the IP address (which is based on a hidden formula and almost impossible to reverse engineer into the raw IP address) appears between the name field and the flag. It is divided into smaller parts, making it very easy to memorize the first few letters of a hash after only a few viewings, and making it way to distinguish familiar IPs from new ones. Effectively, this gives users a global ID. In your case, you had a hash beginning in zMjJ for perhaps a month, and then apparently changed IPs to one appearing as CNFY
Alright, LET'S DO THIS
Wage war then, anon. Tell your body, your organs, your cells, that this (((infection))) will neither be tolerated, nor will it be allowed to last. That your(these) responses are mobilized is a credit to the threat, the only response to which is elimination.
Tell your body this with equal conviction, and it will respond in kind
>haz no idea how his IP works,... he thought he did until was proven wrong
As long as you all know I'm the long-winded, sadistic devil-monk enabling, game-masterbatoring, conscripting, awesomer-than-eber-else-cuz-reasons DM, thats fine.
>>2432Are the black lines vertical cliff faces that block off passage?
... barring legitimate acrobatic, climibing, or survival skills, yes
[1d20 = 10]>>2440
i climb it
>>2441>lucky I have dental work tomorrow
Which face, or which direction? Map may help>>2441>climb
You DO realize you're a Minotaur right?
>>2436I would go to bed, but I gotta be up so long as >>2435 is. I'll just try to focus on not-dying for now.
I have bigger fish to fry.
[1d20 = 13]>>2442
i am STRONK
the one on the left
IDFK why IP changed, I'm the noob in das haus
[1d20 = 5]>>2445
have you reset your router?
Well, there won't be anymore murder tonight. TBH, I planned to rebake bread and update with images and descriptives,... had no idea peepz wud be online
"She's pretty as a daisy,
but look out man she's crazy"
Oh wait hold on,....
There's an ancient Red Dragon,... and he eats (you).
U just lost the Game;
on 2 levels. Xp
Fortunately for her i like crazy
Infernuis want horse pussy
>>2453>wild hoers can b seen distant
I do a talking to them
Wait, which one are you anyway?
hey how do you feel about my ocs,guy?
If u mean Red Bull (sudden inspiration), no worries. If character is 'advanced' (high 'maintenance') then hit me up (ITT) about some of what we (as players and interactors) should be aware of. Note, I didn't say anything goes, but if its reasonable?
i havent really put much thouht into my backstory yet,ill give it some thought.
>>2428>pretend to brutally murder shit
"Certain activites that have no brakes"
Thez disappears for a moment, and then after 6.28 seconds comes crashing to the ground with a melon-sized dead bird in her hands. She casually begins plucking and eating it.
Tracy looks up from the knife she's sharpening.
Thats a small bird thez.
"Well, its not a Roc certainly, but its still tasty"
Haha,you cant eat rock. Even Infernuis know that.
>>2476I'm so tempted, but not yet
"Oh, you can eat a Roc, but only if the Roc doesn't eat you!" ^_~
*picks up rock off the ground and tries to eat it*
Uhm,....>shields her face cuz awkward
Owww teeth hurt
O_o' "A Roc is a bird. Why would you eat rocks?"
You said i could eat rocks. Infernuis trust you why you lie to me?
"I said ROCs, not ROCKS." She facepalms.>mutters something about Bulls
Why you be mean now? Infernuis just joking about rocks.
>>2485>picks up a rock
"This is a rock,">points to an absurdly large bird flying several miles away in the distance
"THAT is a Roc. Thems good eatin's." ^_^
[1d20 = 1]>>2486
How can bring down such big bird?
Wait infernuis have idea.
*picks up rock and throws it at the roc*
>>2487>rolled a 1
The rock spins awkwardly, and comes careening back at you. I could make it hit you,... I should,... but meh, it lands almost on your hoof.
"In my experience, the first step is for the Roc to decide to eat you, otherwise they fly too high."
*my face goes even redder in embarrassment*
Strong wind today *clears throat*
"Don't feel bad, here you can have some if you want,">she offers some fresh bird
T- thanks infernuis usually bring pretty girl food not the other way around.
Before continuing,... are Minotaurs meat eaters? I would have thought they would reject meat, but IDK. Do you eat?
Ooc: there couldn't have been to many berries/plants in the labyrinth, Yea i eat the bird.
[1d20 = 4]>>2494
You suddenly feel very sleepy, and are having difficulty standing properly.
"Oh dear, are you feeling well? Do you need to lay down? Let me help you,">Grabs Infernius by the hand>Both disappear for,... about a half hour.>Rape
you cant rape the willing :)
Oh you say that, but unfortunately Infernius can't quite recall what happened. All he knows is that he gets a flash of degenerate images when he looks at Thez now.
does my butthole hurt?
Whispers to self
thez next time you want fuck, tell me,need time to prep myself.
"Oh, I never ask" ^_~
[1d20 = 18]>>2500>>2501
do i hear tracy calling me stupid?
[1d20 = 6]>>2504
Hear it, yes. Interpret it as an insult,....
I knew she was a slut
If she's the 'bull',.... Xp
Also, why the fuck did it take almost an hour for that comment to load? I thought I posted that a while ago.
[1d20 = 10]>>2501
what you say about infernuis you little shit?
i end ponies for less then that
>>2510I meant to say an hour ago that a Roc is a bird, but it's kind of past that topic now...
"Good morning, Flashy!"
since you have cool swords infernuis will forgive just this once. but next time you prep bull you get horns
Trump, busy giving a contemptuous and disgusted stare to Thez (and Inferious to a lesser extent) is startled by the sudden appearance of a blue pony
"So, how did you sleep last night?"
ah trump do you wish to read my holy book with me?
Technically, there is a half-hour period where Thez and Inferius were 'absent' that is 'unspoken for' as far as other characters are concerned.
Does thoust have Memes in thou's holy book?
the best memes ive seen.
I think you mean
Ill read it
adolf is proud you are reading my friend.
Thez wipes her hands off after finishing her last bit of bird. "Mmmnmmm okay. Before we get to wherever this place we're getting to, there's something you should know. Due to the radically unpredictable nature of the Game, you can pretty much count on any edifice of civilization that we find will have a Player behind it.
The location will have aspects consistent with the various world or origin of its principle. The place we left - the pyramid - was one such place but as is obvious it has fallen into ages of disuse. So, whatever place this is <indicating the approaching walled city> be certain that there are vested interests that our arrival will not be accounted for."
will there be ziggers there?
I have a question,
Is mayonaise a factor of the game?
"I dunno what that is.">>2527
Wut? Are you asking if there's mayo?
Trump is lectured on the work for the principle under copyright law during the interlude >>2516
"Uh. Fine, I guess">>2518
>>2528>not geting the meme
Can we elect a new GM?
Just as soon as the hamster-dance is finished e_e
>>2532>>2533>-20hp for burn damage
>>2535Is now going to incorporate the hamster-dance into the Game
i kill myself just at the thought of that
Just be thankful that I can't control your auditory experience. That first encounter with zombies was supposed to have a small orchestral ensemble who played (over computer speakers) the Walking Dead theme on repeat, until the players eliminated them. When the hamsters come out, I would (will) force players to listen to likewise until,....termination? suicide? madness?
Until I summon rocketman to unsuccsefully
destroy the world
When I game irl, I also incorporate lighting along with music/sounds. There are many elements of the Game that cannot be translated over the internet. ~_~
Hey fresh me.....
I mean a new player!
Welcome, I dont think mr GM is here.
Do you know the basic D&D classes?
If so choose one and make a character
But of course!>>2547
I stepped out for dental surgery, but I'm back
hey i got some of that last week, dental surgery that is.
Is their a rapist class
Any class can be a rapist, could you be more specific about which manner of rapist you would like to play?
Is there a specific class that is dedicated to rapeing rapists?
Again, you're describing character personality not class. If your character were dedicated to raping pedo priests for example, they would be suited to defeat clerics. Other sorts of rapists would be rogues, barbarians, fighters, etc.
Splendid. Do you have a preferred race? Weapon(s) and/or shield?
No wait,can i be a monk?
A fighting monk or a clerical monk?
>>2551>tfw everyone's stealing the closest thing I had to a unique quirk
Oh well.. there goes my last ghost of "originality"...
I assure you i only rape rapists, people who have not raped are safe
Alright! A fighting monk yak. Any ideas for a name?>>2560most of mine are gone too
Great. Another thing to deal with..
Don't get in my way.
No, Thez had her way with Infernius earlier.
>>2564>implying infernuis didnt cum while unconscious
>>2564>rape>victim obviously consented
lol Get on my level, pleb.
Oh, he was conscious, he just doesn't remember
still ignoring the cum part
It has to start with T.
Not ignoring, of course he came. Just cuz his ass hurts doesn't mean,... well anyway
im sure thez didnt just assfuck me
Stop being salty everyone else is raping
Naw. It was just a joke. Everyone's name up until this point has started with T.
Didn't that hippy Guy's name not start with a T?
Alright Yak Lee. Is there anything in particular you would like to specify about your character? Preferences (I know, R raping rapists)? Proprietary characteristics?
Urri is just Thez with a mask
Have you ever seen the big lebowski? Im the dude personality wise.
Yak Lee, fighting monk and all around cool guy. Okay! You are welcome to begin at any time.
Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on.
Empty, it looks to be a foot locker of sorts
I look under the bed
There is a red dragon, and he eats you. No, there's nothing, not even dust.
[1d20 = 3]>>2583
I pick up the chest, and throw it through the door
The chest crashes against the doorframe, shards of glassy material scattering all over the floor. Are you wearing shoes?
Thats unfortunate. ^_^
I walk through the glass and open the door
[1d20 = 20]>>2588
I'm messing with you, you're a Yak>hooves
OH! Not only are you a Yak w/ hooves, but as you open the door your monk-senses start tingling. Diving behind the door as a spark of magic ignites, you easily avoid the subsequent explosion. The door is open to a hallway.
Whats on the otherside of the door?
A simple hallway, composed of the same glass-like material.
There is only one other door?
That you can see from inside the room, yes.
I walk outside my room
You can see that the wall along side your room is lined with identical doors, all closed. Also, there is a door on the opposite end of the hall, symmetrically placed from the one you first saw
There is also a charred sign in the middle of the room that says "Please do not fire trap the rooms", except 'not' is crossed out.
I open the one on the right of the opisite wall.
Well, again your monk-senses alert you to the presence of danger, and you avoid a second fire trap.
You are in a large pyramid structure, still made of the same glassy substance. It is spacious and well lit, and there doesn't seem to be anyone immediately around, though you can hear some noises further in. You're at the base of the 1f on the left
[1d20 = 20]>>2606
I stealth, and climb the stairs
The stairs are central, with sections to the left and right. The right has a looooooong bookshelf with all manner of books, as well as tables and chairs and magicky stuff. On the left is a set of double-doors, a window-counter thing, and a statue of the greatest man alive. Mr. John Elway.
I pray to the statue, then i creep to the double doors
You are at the double doors. Through the window, you can hear someone mumbling to themselves
You detect the odor of cigarette smoke
I bust threw the double doors ready to fight
The doors bang open, revealing a large mess hall ringed with all sorts of crafting and technical devices. Seated at one of the tables is a brownie. A brownie is a 2' tall fey creature, this one having black and gold striped hair. He is smoking a cigarette and drinking liberally from a tankard very nearly the size of him. As the doors bang open, he shifts his eyes to see you. "Yo," he says.
Like how's it going man?
He raises his eyebrow and looks at you disinterestedly. "Hmmm, you're not singed. Pity."
He sighs, and walks over to you, presenting you his right hand.
Like for what man?
*i hand him a joint*
Looks at it. Looks at you. "That'll do," he says. "So this is kind of your new home. You probably don't remember it, but you died sometime 'recently'. Now you've been brought here. The name's Lenos."
Offers his hand for real this time.
>>2623That's how he rolls
I'm dead? We'll everyone has their time, so this is the afterlife?
"Nah, you just died. As for afterlife, I got no idea. I know I'm sitting here talking to you so this is SOME kind of experience, but whether its a before, after, in-between or whatever, Idfk.
>>2624I don't trust this one: he's probably a Jew.
not the first time some one has called a jew a fairy
Lenos sparks the J and takes a phatty rip, then offers it to Lee.
"So, basically this is a place you can go nuts. I'm not too great on the particulars, but you're kinda supposed to."
What am i supposed to do man?
"Whatever you want. Me, I mostly just set things on fire and by things he means people
, but whatever floats your boat. There are others by the way, but they're off doing,... well I don't know what they're doing, but they left a while ago."
Things on fire? Like doors?
He laughs cynically.
"Yeah, that was me."
Thats pretty funny, you couldn't get me though. Haha
"Challenge accepted!" he swigs the rest of his beer and then wanders over to a tap sticking out of the wall. "So. Here you'll find everything you need,... ever,... except raw materials. There's a machine or device for whatever you might want to accomplish,... you'd probably like that burlap striking pad next to the coffee-machine, but yeah this place has it all. Let me know if you have any questions. There generally aren't any actual fights unless everyone else is present, and that's a tangent in its own right, but for the most part this building is here for you and others to utilize.
I think ill go and meet the rest of the people.
*hands him a handful of seeds and another joint*
He puts the joint behind his ear and the seeds in his pocket.
"They're gonna be surprised when you show up, but when you do don't mention me. Just play it off," he winks at you before heading through the double-doors and up the stairs to the dais.
He looks irritatingly at the sphere. With a 'tch' he waves the sphere away, draws up an interface protocol and starts tapping away. The sphere is replaced by a stargate-looking orifice.
"If you really want, stepping in that will put you right next to 'em. Tell the purple one that Lenos sent you.">meanwhile
Elsewhere (meaning everyone else) a weird upside-down whirlpool appears in the air about 15' up, a little ahead of your progress.
Alright, thanks man
*i jump through the portal*
Thez does a ninja-like spin as the whirlpool appears and looks at it suspiciously, but stops proceeding.
i draw my sword when the portal appears.
You jump through the portal and experience a moment of disorientation. A moment ago you were going forward, and now you're going down, all in the same direction. Since you're a monk though, you successfully land on your feet.
Not far off are a Minotaur with a freaky-big sword, a most-resplendent Trump-lookin' dude in overly shiny armor, a light-blue pony with knives and a weird expression, and a hippy in pale hide.
*continues to sharpen knife*
Scanning the horizon, you also see a nearby fellow clad in billowing tartan robes. The hills roll from higher (a large, walled edifice) to a spacious valley with rivers and a walled city.
Fuck! I didn't read any of those recent posts, and I did not know what was going on
A Yak just dropped out of a hole in the sky.
A kung fu yak
"Oh great, another bovine.
Welcome to our little party, Shaggy."
This. He's dressed in simple garb with clear signs of wear (he's not flush with cash, to be sure), but everything about him seems clean and disciplined.
The Minotaur is holding his massive sword, the blue pony is sharpening a knife (and is the last to notice you), while Trump seems unimpressed and the tartan fellow seems to have caught a breeze and is adopting a statuesque pose.
You're pretty cute for an earth pony
The whirlpool unceremoniously 'fa-whoomps' closed, leaving blank space.
The hippy looks at you quizzically. "Whoa man, you just sorta fell from the sky man. Thats not cool man."
"Why, thank you, you two-hooved mistake.
What brings you here? Dead, I assume?"
Hey no need to be so hostile babe, yeah i died im guessing its more of the same for you?
When I say the hippy, I don't mean you at the moment. There's a hippy in addition to you.
I know i said that to him in character.
Other hippy looks like this
"So I've been told...">>2530
Hey purple person i have something to tell you.
You don't detect a purple person
I was told there was someone that would be purple with you,where are they?
The hippy chuckles. "Whoa man, that seems far out. Who told you this man?"
*continues to hump leg, unrestrained*
The smaller blue pony seems to have an itch, that they're scratching using the armor of the TRUMP-lookin' dude
Id rather not say,man
What kind of leg armor is he using?
Trumpaladin? Only the finest in gilded, platinum-plaated and TRUMP embossed greaves.
No shit. I'm asking; what kind of armor plating does he have below the knee?
>>2676Greaves are below the knee, like shin-guards
>>2677Oh, that makes things simple then
*has at shin*
>>2678>he's not posting so yeh, that happens. Unless he gets mad and objects, like the time he got raped but "didn't get raped".
I fuck the back of his kneecap
"HANDS OFF, FAGGOT!!!"
[1d20 = 1]>>2680>>2679
i grab him before he fucks trump friends knee
Hey,babe plenty of knees to go around ;)
What have you done?
[1d20 = 10]>>2684
"YOU ASKED FOR IT!"
*unironically stabs at this dirty faggot's hoof assaulting*
Fucking shit, I meant to say *'assaulting hoof'.
You try, but the pale-blue pony prevents you, assertively.>>2681
They (the blue one) seems particularly insistant.
And, while I was typing this, you all decided to attack each-other,
Okay>walks off crying>>2641
I dont remember summoning this shit>yak
Uh, hi yak thing
>>2690had to stay in character.
The weird (everything is weird, but esp the blue pony) STABS U IN THE FUKKIN LEG. U have a knife in ur leg and you're not sure why.
[1d20 = 18]>>2699
I punch the bitch in the head.
[1d20 = 5]>>2700
*Don't even dodge, just stab straight for the stomach*
[1d20 = 15]
I whack with my longbow whoever needs a good whacking (weirdly I think that does not include Tracy)
The first person to say
"I need healing" will not get fucking healed by my dank memes
[1d20 = 3]>>2701>I get punched with no reward
roll to attack and take off what's left of this faggot's leg.
[1d20 = 17]>>2703
i try to grapple again
ALRIGHT FUCKING THOTS
WHO NEEDS THE MEME MAGE TO MAGIC TO INTO HEALING?
[1d20 = 15]>>2707>>2708
*Stabs the yak*
[1d20 = 2]>>2711
Wanna pull this knife out of my leg doc?
i turn as you try to stab him, "we need talk"
[1d20 = 5]>>2713
I roll to remove knife
And use magic to heal
Im sorry, youre dead>>2716
[1d20 = 3]
i heal him with heal minor wounds
[1d20 = 10]>>2714
"DON'T YOU DARE GET IN MY WAY, YOU FUCKING SPORTS DRINK PARODY! IMMA FUCKING CUT THIS FAGGOT!!!"
*goes for the yak again*>>2716
(in baby-doll voice) "Just defending your honor, ~Flashy!"
[1d20 = 2]>>2719
*takes hit for yak*
stop before you piss me off tracey MOOOOOOO
[1d20 = 20]>>2720>>2719
Struggle to get away from the hold
will you fucking idiots stop fighting like fucking ziggers and calm down?
[1d20 = 15]
Trumpaladin invokes the magic of Football to BLOCK attacks against himself, awhile he evaluates the situation
[1d20 = 1]>>2720
"WTF is it your problem?! This faggot literally just fell from the sky and assaulted my husband, and now your defending him?!">>2721
"Oh no you don't"
*Pursues on all fours, brandishing knife in maw*
[1d20 = 9]
Trumpaladin whacks the yak with his longbow
Okay, I've read the latest several times and this is the most accurate rendition I can come up with.
am not smart but i wont let you kill innocent yak
[1d20 = 5]>>2722
Since no one is fucking listening I roll to freeze everyone
[1d20 = 8]>>2729
Roll to block magic attack using power of football
[1d20 = 9]>>2725
Fuck!>I assume I tripped or some shit>>2728>innocent
"IMPLYING!">>2729>no memes to create affect
Roll to invert the affect of your spell using the demonic power of soccer
all he try to do is fuck your knee, like tracy do
[1d20 = 4]
i use calm on everyone
How close am i to the castle?
And Tracy would be beat with my bow just the same
tracy try to cut out guts
USING THE MAGIC OF OUR PATRON SAINT JOHN ELWAY
[1d20 = 8]>>2733
"Fucking bovine chads have no understanding of traditional pony marriages!">>2734
Roll to activate berserker quirks
Thez watches the proceeding calamity with a degree of reserve.
And time halts. Not in the sense that time fails to pass, but that it "waits" in a manner of speaking.
Torcuil is free to move, everyone else is in stasis
HAHA NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN
I paint "Thot" on tracys forhead and put her in an "intresting" positiom with infernis
And bandage up the Yak dude still confued where he came from.
After moving him safly of to the side I call "The Game" back into play
Where is the purple member of your party magi?
So Yak Lee is bandaged, Tracy is confused (and vandalized), Infernis is drooling (he is tho), and Trump disdainfully examines them all from his shiny armor.
I was told someone purple was here with your party and that i should talk to them
Trump takes mental note of who defended him and who stood by indifferently but attacked his defenders
And Yak color
But no purp....
At the mention of purple, Urri casts a sidelong glance.
"Aint seen nobody like that for a long time. Can you be more specific?" Asks the hippy.
oh shit thats right
Thez died, crushed by a wall.
I blame Trump
Bullshit, i was told man
>>2753Go with it or die>>2754
I've been reviewing, IDK where we got off track. Last I checked there was a Yak that fell from the sky, and a bunch of irate (ish) adventurers making their way to a walled city.
Yes, Thez is a blood-splotch
why you no tell me!!
>>2759NOT REALLY YOU ENERGY DRINK shes hiding but we cant say so
>spell wears off>anger is at maximum>barbarian quirk demands release>don't know what to do with all this anger>>2749
I guess ill just go back where i came from then.
[1d20 = 13]>>2762
*sighs in affection and frustration*
Does anyone know of a pill that decreases sex drive?
Im gonna need to summon some anti-viagra in this bitch
>>2766I do, but you have to discover the meme yourself.
>>2768says the pastel horse with thot written on their head
>>2769Bitch, please. It's not the first time I've had stupid meme crap written all over me. It'll just disappear after a while anyway.
Hey meme man why is that horse so crazy?
Okay, lemmme quick arrange this.
You have Trump, who is glaring-face and suspicious. You have Torcuil, who is relatively (literally) the expert, but he's not prominent in the interaction. You have Infernius who likes smashing things (and is looking for an excuse). Also there's,....
>>2770I used sharpie>>2771
Im guessing some type of brain damage
This resulted in homicidal tendancies and hyper sex drive
[1d20 = 2]
Uses bow to pry off pony
But only for the paladin?cause i tryed some advances but it didnt work, lucky for me.
>>2774>a fucking yak>homocide
"Yaks aren't ponies, you dumb frog-summoner.">>2771
">Says the a bovine from a race that goes to war over improperly-baked cakes."
Cakeing is serous buissness hores
[1d20 = 7]>>2775
*vacuum seals self to shin*
"Hmmm, that was weird," Thez opines as seemingly divergent storylines correct and right themselves.
If only I had thot repellant
Does any one have like a water hose or spray bottle?
Hold on, stand aack I got this
B E G O N E T H O T
So, Tracy is all blades and wariness, Trump is resolved and resolute in his resplendent armor, Torcuil seems indifferent, Infernius has a raging (inclination to do stuff) and Lee is the new guy, steadily making his way through the group
*suggestively taps perennial port in armor*
Hey hippy come see,i need to talk to you.
Ehh can't argue
What ever happened to my pepe summon?
i stroke my inclination.
>nobody posting for 5 minutes>>2782
Good night friends and that 1 thot
He wandered off a while ago.>>2790
I appreciate your participation, and will work to eliminate inefficiency
Good night, dumb frog-summoner.
I'm going to head in too, because it looks like things are pretty slow atm. Had loads of fun tonight though.>>2782
*finishes all over your leg*
[1d20 = 1]>>2793
No no no no. Trumpaladin casts Football block. Also the parts not protected by steel plate have thick leather. (Still gross)
infernuis need leave too.
infernuis love friends
I have to admit to being a little unprepared. It didn't (never does Xp) go how I intend, and I apologize in my inability to roll with 'the punches'. We're on the verge of some story-uniting shit tho, so any inconsistencies will be ironed out quickly.
Tracy fully climaxes on Trump, (cuz she said so), and Thez is STILL displaying an IDGAF posture in the midst of it all.
Again, it wasn't planned, but fuck it all.>>2794>rolled a 1>sighs
Whatever you intended, it went awry. We'll leave it at that. >_<>>2795
Sleep well, until next time.
Thez is out in the open?
>>2794>tfw took one last look at the screen before bed
Good night, ~Flahy.
Yes of course. She's standing in the open, with her arms across her chest, not sur3e at ALL what's going on.
Thez i need to you over here
"Oh? I don't recognize you, so be specific with your requests," she eyes you suspiciously. She still looks like that hippy btw, you still haven't seen the 'real' Thez yet.
Im going to be honest with you, i think you are the one i need to talk to. Lenos sent me.
>>2803>sighs at the mention of Lenos, but observably relaxes
"Fantastic. You said Lenos," the hippy demeanor disappears and a purple female replaces.
"When did you see this Lenos?"
Is there a place around selling leather under armor? Because I need to burn mine
Right before he helped me meet you guys
>>2806>mutters something about Fire traps
"Okay then," she crosses her arms, "What did you give him?"
*i hand thez a joint*
>>2808>doesn't know joints
"Is that supposed to be food? <sniffs it>
"What? IDK what that is, but its not right."
I put my own joint in my mouth.
Naw you smoke it,babe watch.
I light nd smoke it
>she can't restrain herself and starts uproariously laughing
"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself. (chuckling incessantly) If you've seen Lenos, well that means a number of things.">>2811
Yea u do
"Is he around? I looked for him but I didn't see any sign. I thought he'd been reset with the Game."
He was in a place with alot of doors
"With a tankard, right? Why aren't you charred then?" she insists.
She sniffs the air while the other players (?) stare idly. Glancing at them, and then back at you she says finally, through squinted eyes:
"Okay! Don't die tho!" (the behavior is inconsistent with the apparent Hippy who is acting out the behaviors)
Hey i gotta go. Im tired as fuck.
We gonna play Saturday?
Yes, Saturday. Ask any questions you want (Thez knows more then Lenos anyway) until then.
*gets noticeable buldge in sack cloth pants*
Holy shit, we did some actual play while I was delirious from the gas! We have another player! ROFLMAO!
Uhhh, I still got hydra scales>>2820>The gas
Nitrous, I had oral surgery. It looks like it was fun though. The intent was to allow the characters to interact a bit before entering the city and that seems to have occurred, though there are a couple times where I can tell my mind was wandering and I could have gotten to the fucking point. Oh well, it definitely won't happen again.
Alright. This is not game time, but I'm going to start describing things.
The rocky hills slowly calm to sweeping plains as the group continues to plod toward the city in the distance. The city it becomes apparent, is a large and bustling port town at the edge of some waterways that the GM is not proficient enough with geology to render convincingly (yet), but adjacent and attached to the city is a large dock capable of housing (and indeed, is housing) several sea-faring vessels.
Excepting a single tower, the city its self is still largely obstructed by the massive walls (which upon growing nearer show signs of wear, abuse, and deliberate non-friendly fire) which are ringed with cannons and ballistae. Several distant roads and bridges can be seen snaking their way toward one another and the city its self. Its too far away yet to see individual people, but you can determine that the city is largely commercial both by land and water.
Thez and Yak Lee finished conferring with regard to his appearance, while the greater party kinda just watched confusedly. The overall perception is that Thez has an idea of what's going on - to do with someone named Lenos - and that Yak Lee is not a threat. He is a yak tho.
For Yak Lee's benefit, a description of the assembled party.
Most visably commanding is Trumpaladin, a glorious and shining example of charisma, dignity, righteousness, and Football. In brilliant shining armor, a thick tower shield slung over his back (for travel), he is both a radiant banner and a walking tank.
Ever nearby Trump is a 3 1/2 pastel-blue pony in imprecisely-torn hide with a bandolier of wickedly sharp kitchen knives. Alternating between quadraped and biped movement she also talks, and displays a personality as sharp and as particular as her cutlery.
Towering over everyone except Trump (and Lee) is Infernius, a Minotaur cleric of Adolph Hitler. Mein Kampf in hand and a massive Zweihand slung over his shoulder, he plods with deliberation and focus on his face and in his step.
Next comes Torcuil, a bearded Scotsman in a billowing tartan robe. He has a small note-pad with him that he occasionally references and makes notes with, sometimes causing slight bursts of color and magic drawing various looks of satisfaction and confusion. It can't be determined precisely what he is doing, but it is clear he is doing some experimental reasoning. Lastly there is Thez, who though having presented herself briefly in her true purple manner, has reverted to appearing as an old hippy in in worn and ragged suede blankets.
What did my thot spray do to murder horse?
Also, can someone explain monk and cleric for me?
It increased my THOT powers exponentially!
>>2873>thot spray; monk v cleric
Undetermined so far
With monks, think shaolin, martial arts, etc; ascetics and all that. With clerics, think anywhere between holy priests to battlefield god-champions.
>>2875>think anywhere between holy priests to battlefield god-champions
Thats a big difference
So your >angelic voice heald everyone preaching the wonders of being a Nazi
And>the god hitler smites the enemy with gas and easy bake ovens
Infernius which are you?
In fact, you've probably had to listen at some point to a rant about ziggers, kikes, both-and, or 'other', through intervening moments that we'll just assume 'happened' while walking across this plain.
"You guys need mounts," Thez offers cynically.
Can I borrow an oven?
I dont mean to brag, but I can make a mean cake>>2878
Tuump can ride Tracy
( ° ʖ °)
Infernuis want tiger!
And it didnt work
I CALL THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL ANIMAL
>>2882>TIL the headless horseman is irish
Nope, try again
>>2884>TIL Infernius sucks at guessing
I'm not welsh
What is that an actually pic?
Its ugly enough
>>2887*shrugs* It took me literally 5 minutes to make.
A very aroused Pakistani Pakistani man?
Do minotaurs not have fucking google
Also why Pakistani?>>2888
As residential meme mage,
Im sorry Trump but the trips command it
Infernuis seen things, have seen terrible things.
>missed all this
You mage, me thought you smart, haha
You're too small to ride
Don't even think about casting a spell to make Tracy large enough to be a riding horse
"Hey, I know one like that!," Thez brightens
>>2895YAY MY FAVORITE PONY IMAGE
Its a unicorm
More of a reason to be proud of my heritage>>2897
It hadnt even crossed my mind>>2898
"Well, its chi magic; its not something I can teach you. Him maybe," she says gesturing at Yak Lee.
>>2902>something about removing mask
"Well I can't do it right now, there's no threat. Chi magic works on necessity and resolve, you can't just sneeze and make it work."
Why does SHE wear the mask??
Idk Ive never seen the movie
So wheres my Unicorn mount?
>>2907Look up, "baneposting" and figure this out!
Heh shit meme kiddo
Correct me if I'm mistaken, but all you've said so far is "I summon (a unicorn)" correct? I mean you said scottish national this but essentially,....
What meme? The Bane?>>2910
I never summoned, but I mean I thought we where picking mounts
Would a Highland Cattle be better?
No, a unicon is a fine mount to choose, but Thez is talking about how you could have been there much faster if you guys had mounts. You couldn't have ACTUALLY been there faster, cuz its real-world time sensitive anyway (meaning, there is no way you could avoid her giving you shit Xp). Still noted, unicorn.
Your a fake meme lord, you never saw DKR,jej
>>2904Baneposting is an awesome meme.
Infernuis want tiger!
Do you feel in charge?I know all bout baneposting, asking why was a banepost
K, a tiger big enough for a minotaur, got it.
>Thez makes a note to make him a Mini-taur at some point
"Maybe now isn't the best time to ask,... but do any of you guys have any money?" Thez asks off-handedly. The city is about a half-hour away now (arbitrary distance, its not real-time).
No vore,Infernuis no food.
>>2914>tracy being nice to me
What universe have we entered>>2912
I shall name it Robert the Unicorn>>2918Man-o-tard>>2920
Another intresting fact, there once was a scottish curriency called the Unicorn. Not relevent but what the hell
I have a couple shekels
"What's it to you?!"
"Wellm, dat meh becurm an itthoo at shome punt," she says munching on her last piece of hydra jerkey.
Infernuis only have these reichmarks
What? I dont speak black girl
*Tracy suspiciously pats at her knife cozy and avoids eye contact*
>Thez peeks around to see if anyone is moving
>>2939>not lined up for the new episode
Infernuis understand, me go watch.
I'm lurking. I'm always lurking.
>Thez suddenly can't stop laughing.
Tracy thez gone mad, what do?
"Do I look like a fucking psychiatrist to you?!"g2g take little sister out to birthday lunch. I'm always watching though.
I'm watching you Wazowski
Thez suddenly springs to life as her faggot returns from whatever ridiculous and ill-conceived task that he got roped into doing, and she does NOT look happy. I mean, she still looks like Urri, so I suppose its Urri who does not look happy. So unhappy is she, that a red-faced fellow in navy coveralls - accented by high visibility tape - stands up out of the grass a little in front of the party. He's wearing a nametag that says "Hello, my name is BARRY", and he is quite confused to be here, now.
"What the fuck, who the fuck are, wait a minute, jesus, its not even human,..." be stammers out as he looks at the assembled group. Thez however, steps forward.
"Let me help you," she says, before ripping his head off and eating his face.
*knife sharpening proceeds*
[1d20 = 11]>>2956
"The Demon has unveiled itself!" Trumpaladin yells as he draws out his sword and shield. "For Barry!" He yells, only after uttering a prayer to football. Trumpaladin evokes OFFENSE for a coming attack
DAMN IT ALLEN
THE TIME LINE
*Draws knives, annoyed at the prospect of having to do something*
Who the fuck is Barry, anyway?