Continuing the (eh?) compelling story of Torcuil the Meme Magician, Trump the (ahem) Shining and Resplendent Paladin, Tracy the edge-lord (multiple meanings there), and Infernius the Minotaur.
The party has found its self overlooking a rocky hillock leading toward a town into which several large and small rivers connect. Chirpy birds 'bweeet' from their nests and posts, while squirrels jubilantly roll in the dirt (they do that FYI) while foraging for resources.
It is the very depiction of the phrase "Whatever could go wrong?".
Join us new viewers and anons, for a spectacle of autism and bemusement. ITT we continue,...
THE GAME
(u just lost BTW)
Previous bread
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/1799.html375 replies and 68 files omitted.
>>2804Right before he helped me meet you guys
>>2806>mutters something about Fire traps"Okay then," she crosses her arms, "What did you give him?"
>>2808>doesn't know joints"Is that supposed to be food? <sniffs it>
"What? IDK what that is, but its not right."
>>2809I put my own joint in my mouth.
Naw you smoke it,babe watch.
>she can't restrain herself and starts uproariously laughing"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself. (chuckling incessantly) If you've seen Lenos, well that means a number of things."
>>2811Yea u do
"Is he around? I looked for him but I didn't see any sign. I thought he'd been reset with the Game."
Thez offers
>>2812He was in a place with alot of doors
>>2813"With a tankard, right? Why aren't you charred then?" she insists.
>>2815She sniffs the air while the other players (?) stare idly. Glancing at them, and then back at you she says finally, through squinted eyes:
"Okay! Don't die tho!" (the behavior is inconsistent with the apparent Hippy who is acting out the behaviors)
>>2816Hey i gotta go. Im tired as fuck.
We gonna play Saturday?
>>2817>TAFYes, Saturday. Ask any questions you want (Thez knows more then Lenos anyway) until then.
>>2818*gets noticeable buldge in sack cloth pants*
Holy shit, we did some actual play while I was delirious from the gas! We have another player! ROFLMAO!
>>2805Uhhh, I still got hydra scales
>>2820>The gasSeig Heil?¿
>>2826Nitrous, I had oral surgery. It looks like it was fun though. The intent was to allow the characters to interact a bit before entering the city and that seems to have occurred, though there are a couple times where I can tell my mind was wandering and I could have gotten to the fucking point. Oh well, it definitely won't happen again.
>Deep breath
Alright. This is not game time, but I'm going to start describing things.
The rocky hills slowly calm to sweeping plains as the group continues to plod toward the city in the distance. The city it becomes apparent, is a large and bustling port town at the edge of some waterways that the GM is not proficient enough with geology to render convincingly (yet), but adjacent and attached to the city is a large dock capable of housing (and indeed, is housing) several sea-faring vessels.
Excepting a single tower, the city its self is still largely obstructed by the massive walls (which upon growing nearer show signs of wear, abuse, and deliberate non-friendly fire) which are ringed with cannons and ballistae. Several distant roads and bridges can be seen snaking their way toward one another and the city its self. Its too far away yet to see individual people, but you can determine that the city is largely commercial both by land and water.
Thez and Yak Lee finished conferring with regard to his appearance, while the greater party kinda just watched confusedly. The overall perception is that Thez has an idea of what's going on - to do with someone named Lenos - and that Yak Lee is not a threat. He is a yak tho.
For Yak Lee's benefit, a description of the assembled party.
Most visably commanding is Trumpaladin, a glorious and shining example of charisma, dignity, righteousness, and Football. In brilliant shining armor, a thick tower shield slung over his back (for travel), he is both a radiant banner and a walking tank.
Ever nearby Trump is a 3 1/2 pastel-blue pony in imprecisely-torn hide with a bandolier of wickedly sharp kitchen knives. Alternating between quadraped and biped movement she also talks, and displays a personality as sharp and as particular as her cutlery.
Towering over everyone except Trump (and Lee) is Infernius, a Minotaur cleric of Adolph Hitler. Mein Kampf in hand and a massive Zweihand slung over his shoulder, he plods with deliberation and focus on his face and in his step.
Next comes Torcuil, a bearded Scotsman in a billowing tartan robe. He has a small note-pad with him that he occasionally references and makes notes with, sometimes causing slight bursts of color and magic drawing various looks of satisfaction and confusion. It can't be determined precisely what he is doing, but it is clear he is doing some experimental reasoning. Lastly there is Thez, who though having presented herself briefly in her true purple manner, has reverted to appearing as an old hippy in in worn and ragged suede blankets.
>>2869What did my thot spray do to murder horse?
Also, can someone explain monk and cleric for me?
>>2873It increased my THOT powers exponentially!
>>2873>thot spray; monk v clericUndetermined so far
With monks, think shaolin, martial arts, etc; ascetics and all that. With clerics, think anywhere between holy priests to battlefield god-champions.
In fact, you've probably had to listen at some point to a rant about ziggers, kikes, both-and, or 'other', through intervening moments that we'll just assume 'happened' while walking across this plain.
"You guys need mounts," Thez offers cynically.
>>2877Can I borrow an oven?
I dont mean to brag, but I can make a mean cake
>>2878Tuump can ride Tracy
( ° ʖ °)
>>2879And it didnt work
I CALL THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL ANIMAL
>>2886What is that an actually pic?
Its ugly enough
>>2887A very aroused Pakistani Pakistani man?
>>2890Do minotaurs not have fucking google
Also why Pakistani?
>>2888As residential meme mage,
Im sorry Trump but the trips command it
>>2891Infernuis seen things, have seen terrible things.
>missed all this
YOU'RE confused,....
>>2893You mage, me thought you smart, haha
>>2891Don't even think about casting a spell to make Tracy large enough to be a riding horse
>>2897"Hey, I know one like that!," Thez brightens
>>2895YAY MY FAVORITE PONY IMAGEIts a unicorm
More of a reason to be proud of my heritage
>>2897It hadnt even crossed my mind
>>2898TEACH ME
>>2899"Well, its chi magic; its not something I can teach you. Him maybe," she says gesturing at Yak Lee.
>>2902"Well I can't do it right now, there's no threat. Chi magic works on necessity and resolve, you can't just sneeze and make it work."
>>2903Why does SHE wear the mask??
>>2906Idk Ive never seen the movie
So wheres my Unicorn mount?
>>2907Correct me if I'm mistaken, but all you've said so far is "I summon (a unicorn)" correct? I mean you said scottish national this but essentially,....
>>2909What meme? The Bane?
>>2910I never summoned, but I mean I thought we where picking mounts
Would a Highland Cattle be better?
>>2911No, a unicon is a fine mount to choose, but Thez is talking about how you could have been there much faster if you guys had mounts. You couldn't have ACTUALLY been there faster, cuz its real-world time sensitive anyway (meaning, there is no way you could avoid her giving you shit Xp). Still noted, unicorn.
>>2911Your a fake meme lord, you never saw DKR,jej
>>2915K, a tiger big enough for a minotaur, got it.
>Thez makes a note to make him a Mini-taur at some point
"Maybe now isn't the best time to ask,... but do any of you guys have any money?" Thez asks off-handedly. The city is about a half-hour away now (arbitrary distance, its not real-time).
>>2919No vore,Infernuis no food.
>>2914>tracy being nice to meWhat universe have we entered
>>2912I shall name it Robert the Unicorn
>>2918Man-o-tard>>2920Another intresting fact, there once was a scottish curriency called the Unicorn. Not relevent but what the hell
I have a couple shekels
>>2924"Wellm, dat meh becurm an itthoo at shome punt," she says munching on her last piece of hydra jerkey.
>>2920Infernuis only have these reichmarks
>>2925What? I dont speak black girl
>>2925*Tracy suspiciously pats at her knife cozy and avoids eye contact*
>Thez peeks around to see if anyone is moving
>>2942Infernuis understand, me go watch.
I'm lurking. I'm always lurking.
>Thez suddenly can't stop laughing.
>>2944>>2951Tracy thez gone mad, what do?
>>2952"Do I look like a fucking psychiatrist to you?!"
g2g take little sister out to birthday lunch. I'm always watching though.
>>2953>always watchingI'm watching you Wazowski
aaaaaaallllwwwways watching
Thez suddenly springs to life as her faggot returns from whatever ridiculous and ill-conceived task that he got roped into doing, and she does NOT look happy. I mean, she still looks like Urri, so I suppose its Urri who does not look happy. So unhappy is she, that a red-faced fellow in navy coveralls - accented by high visibility tape - stands up out of the grass a little in front of the party. He's wearing a nametag that says "Hello, my name is BARRY", and he is quite confused to be here, now.
"What the fuck, who the fuck are, wait a minute, jesus, its not even human,..." be stammers out as he looks at the assembled group. Thez however, steps forward.
"Let me help you," she says, before ripping his head off and eating his face.
>>2956"hmmf"
*knife sharpening proceeds*
[1d20 = 11]>>2956"The Demon has unveiled itself!" Trumpaladin yells as he draws out his sword and shield. "For Barry!" He yells, only after uttering a prayer to football. Trumpaladin evokes OFFENSE for a coming attack
>>2958"Awww fuck!"
*Draws knives, annoyed at the prospect of having to do something*
Who the fuck is Barry, anyway?