This thread begins the next leg of the game, where GM (likely unsuccessfully) teaches of the wonders of rare-meat. Yes, I know Trump IRL likes his steak well-done, and to me that alone is evidence of controlled opposition. I still support the man, but dammit. Rare meat is the finest you can ever taste, satisfying immediate/basic hunger needs better than well meat, but also satisfying more primal urges and evolution. Remember, meat is only unsanitary if it is old or processed through a slaughter-house with poor quality control.
Enough about meat, lets get back to the game. Infernius is attempting to Leeroy Jenkins at the orcs, except that he has to climb a rope ladder to do so (cloven hooves = slower climbing). Tracy mulls about a very closed for business city that has cannons on the south-face, not yet realizing that unless she wants to go Nightmare (and thus ethereal but also glowing-in-the-dark) she's SOL.
768 replies and 47 files omitted.
>>23750>shapeshifting for human cockShit, they could be more dangerous than I realized
>>23754They do tho, in fact most of the 'good' dragons are semen demons
>>23755Ikr. They're all obsessed with getting LANCED.
>>23755Well shit. Cross "dragon hunting" off the list as well, lest I get hunted myself
>>23756By a strong and handsome knight, preferrably
But back to the point, Tracy makes her way towards that area.
>>23758It's more than just a stereotype: it's archetypal.
>>23759Yes. Ideally it fits with the natural survival hierarchy that emerges from chaos (there's that orderly chaos bit again), except not all in shiny armor are brave or strong, despite the iconography. All the 'nice' qualifiers are largely written in in the aftermath. ^_~
>>23760Bad, naughty Zoot
>>23761This is why dragon hunting should only be attempted mounted. So Tracy can have a strong swordsmen, both can have the movement, and Trumpaladin can be saved from almost certain temptation
>>23762If you're being hunted by knights, pretending to be a damsel is a damned fine survival strategy
>>23763Fair point. With dragons, consent is kinda like with cats.
>>23763She's not hunting any dragons right now, but if any Silver sluts try to make a move on him, she'll eat their hearts out.
>>23765GM makes a note: "... silver... sluts... exclamation exclamation"
It will never happen ever.
>>23762wait, wait
Before Trumpaladin returns to the bizarre, he prepares a cup of Chamomile Tea, and some bagels with Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
He goes to Slovenia, who I'm presuming is in the craft shop (if not, knock on her door. If she's out, just come by later). Deliver her the tea, and say
"A bright new day ahead I imagine. I'm guessing you'll want to get started on the full version. Here's some tea for you, and I prepared some bagels as well. I have no idea if you like bagels, but I know I enjoy them. If you need helpers, tell me so. I may be able to secure some for you"
>>23765>Eat their hearts out>That is not a metaphor>>23766*cough* Trumpaladin prefers ponies *cough*
>>23767"No, that was quite thoughtful. I,... I do like bagels," she says with a smile.
>>23768scribble scribble scribble "Poners"
Tracy continues to search the mountains, keeping a watchful eye out for any giant feathers or LANCED.com CDs as she traverses the area.
>>23769*rubs hand through mane behind ear in a very playful manner*
"You're welcome, but seriously. Do you need helpers for the larger beams? Because I at least think we can get those"
>>23771"No, I'm sure I can,... talk Adam's bitches into doing it," there's a cold yet casual air to how she said that.
Thez is vigorously murdering on an oversized mortar and pestle, grinding out some potatos.
"LAZY!!!"
>>23772Trumpaladin moves his face to the side in a combination of a suspicious look and a glare
"... alright then..."
He leaves the room. When he goes outside, he calls Fae
(CALL MOUNT)
>>23773Fae seems to be taking her time,... oh there she is. She swoops in and glances about for a moment before: "How can I assist you?"
Has Tracy found any clues?
>Wants to find potential egg before it freezes in absence of its mother
>>23774"Are you looking for something?
Fae, I need to go into town. But first, I want to know, what happened to the Tarasque-Football"
>>23774>Fae seems to be taking her time,… oh there she is. She swoops in and glances about for a moment beforeFuck it, that's just way too weird
"What is wrong Fae?"
>>23775And you're walking? C'mon now,....
>>23776"The game-ball is kill. It has decayed into an unusable substance, except perhaps to induce vomiting," she says dryly.
>>23779"Isn't it supposed to stay like that to keep the Tarasque from regenerating? What could have caused that?"
>The substance can induce vomiting"Definitely save and bottle the sludge when you get back, and give it to me. I can use that"
>>23775You normally love rolling spot checks. Why are you off your game today?
>>23780>save it"You're not serious,...."
"Yes, the Terrasque was supposed to remain dormant inside the magical bands of white lacing and
always fully-inflated oblong grandeur. For it to dissolve means that something happened that should not have," she says gravely.
[3d20 = 43]>>23779She's been walking the whole time.
Has she found anything? What do the mountains look like?
>>23781I was holding back...
Spot, Listen, Search for now.
>>23783She almost gets the idea that flying, climbing, or otherwise disadvantageously positioning herself, she might find a strategically elevated position from which big bird might just put a nest.
That's cuz you got a 20
>>23782"If you have potions to induce vomiting, that would be greatly appreciated. The child isn't going to be holding the weight of any world if he is poisoned by something his mother eats first"
"What kind of thing that happened that should not have?"
>>23784Tracy goes into stealth and continues to scan the area from hiding, while her faggot steps out for a bit.
>>23685>>23786Why the reeing though? She really is adorable
at least most of the time >>23787Why stealth? Who are you afraid of finding you? go grind search and spot checks until you find a clue
>>23785Fae is disgusted by the idea, but on Trump's insistence she relents. "Very well, I'll have the sludge bottled. As for what happened I cannot say. I only know that the sealing should have been indefinite. The ball was to have remained as long as the seal was intact, and even in that's failure the Terrasque would have returned in full. We'd have noticed."
>>23789This. She can fly ffs.
>>23790"Um... we don't have to bottle the sludge..."
Ride Fae to the Bazaar
>>23790>>23790Okay.
Fly up and keep constantly spamming Spot, Search, Listen, Scent, Track and anything else that seems useful.
Find the ladybird's perch.
>>23792Don't just say that, elaborate and do it!
[3d20 = 30]>>23793Look up towards the top of the mountain
Determine where the highest, awesomest place is, where a giant eagle would perch to look at the world.
Then go there.
Make way up the mountain. Flying and stopping occasionally to check around and conserve energy.
Spot, Search, and Track
>>23755>>23757adds bang dragon to bucket list.
[1d20 = 16]>>23794Well, that track roll was a wash, but no worries. A "Caw!" sound is the only warning Tracy has before immediately getting
[1d20 = 10]
[1d20 = 8]
....snatched up by another Roc, this one a bit larger and leaner.
Tracy is first initiative roll.
>>23796Hmmm. Rocks have mates. Like most birds actually. Who would have thought?
>>23795Thez... Ah, nevermind
Alright, Tracy is grasped in one of the Rocs claws. Her arms and legs are immobile, and her breathing is partially restricted. She is being carried.
>>23798Yes, but she can breathe.
>>23800>could turn Ethereal when necessarySee where it takes her, ready to phase the fuck out of there at the first sign of a beak.
Sometimes, I wish I played a Ranger.
I love this kind of stuff.
That last turn was fucking dumb, but I'll do it anyway.
[1d20 = 15]>>23802Tracy catches fire, which disturbs the Roc, as the flames are hostile and cause pain, but no damage. It rears and strokes at Tracy, who is now enveloped in a cloud of smoke.
>>23795Silver dragons are mostly only into hoo-mans.
Also, you have a waifu.
>>23804Fuck..
>>23803Well, the eggs and the younglings will be well taken care of, so you don't have to worry
\r
[2d8+6 = 17]
Tracy takes a grazing strike to the shoulder, but is otherwise fine.
At the earliest point, Tracy jumps ethereal. How long is she staying? Is it a "get out of bird-hands" jaunt, or is she staying 'under' for a moment?
>>23807Um... Can I arrive at the bazaar?
>>23807She get's out of immediate harms way, and observes from a "safe" distance.
What's the surrounding area look like? Is she above the mountains?
>>23808"Yes of course Habibi! Welcome back to the bazaar. I see you indeed purchased that fine suit of armor. I don't know if any new vendors have arrived, but please enjoy yourself."
>>23809Yeah, she's a few 100 feet up. So are you material then? Cuz the Roc is closing with a "SCREEEEEE"
>>23810Goddamn, I wish I could picture a friendly sandnigger merchant, but I can't get that
abominable Starlight recolor out of my head.
>>23811Nope. She's full ghost.
Just stand in mid air until it loses interest; then follow it stealthily.
>>23810"It's a rather fine suit, thank you"
To best exploit the bizarre, do you:
1. Look at items on display, or
2. Ask vendors?
>>23812>pic>>23813In that case, it ascends to a higher vantage point, clearly looking this way and that.
>>23815Thez, who apparently has followed him since the Roc has been properly seasoned and prepared and was placed in the forge (the only place big enough) but is otherwise well situated. "I suggest browsing."
>>23816>picMuch better.
Tracy follows the bird from a safe distance, while her faggot leaves for a moment.
>>23816Trumpaladin Browses the stalls! One by one, proceeding to a new one after each other has been exhausted, going down rows.
His search critereon are these:
Anything that is magical or enchanted and:
Some permutation of Jewelry, be it
Ring
Necklace
Bracelet
Brooch
or something that I omitted
He is not looking for normal Trumpaladin buffs, but anything that fits those critereon
>>23819Do I need to do like a dozen search rolls or something, one for each stall?
>>23818Okay that didn't take as long as I thought.
Tracy continues her bird-watching endeavor.
>>23818>>23816You sure it's not this pic?
>>23824Probably continuing its Tracy watching endeavor, which is what it was doing before
Also, how do you determine a character's DC save?
[12d20 = 128]
Rolls Search checks on Bazaar stalls!
>>23824Sorry, hadda eat. Its circling, still agitated and hostile.
>>23826Depends on the context
>>23827Oh no fucking way.
"Habibi, come this way! I have something to show you!" the bald man beckons.
>>23828FOLLOWS STRANGE ARAB MAN!
>>23828>contextExample?
Anyway, wait for the bird to calm down and take off, then follow wherever it's going.
[1d20 = 9]>>23830Thats not a DC, thats just waiting in ethereal until it ceases its survey pattern and flies back. That should only take a couple minutes.
>>23831so am i at the top of the ladder yet?
>>23831How do you determine a creature's DC to save against an attack?
>>23832... yes, yes you are. The sound of "Hibbity" and "Hooblah" is distinct and unmistake-able at this range.
>>23834cast comprehend languages and tongues.
>>23833That depends on context, like I said. If its a basic attack, you take the Base Atk bonus + str/buff/weapon/wtfbbq bonus +1d20 vs the opponenta AC (which its self is a bla/bla calculation).
If you're talking about attempting a sneak attack, its based on Rogue level + dex bonus/(+wtfe) vs. creatures relevant bonuses/etc. + 1d20
>>23835Yay! Okay, so the spell completes and suddenly the speaking makes more sense. Infernius has missed a whole lot of the build-up, but he makes out "so big that me whole family could eat, so me shoot."
>silence"Me miss."
Derisive laughter and jeering.
>>23836Continues following Arab man!
>>23836ok can i have a description of the area?
>>23838"Yes, I remembered something I'm sure you said sometime. I see this and I think "That man would like this."
It is magic candle."
>>23840With a look that spans the border between suspicion and curiosity, Trumpaladin says "tell me about this candle"
[1d20 = 3]>>23839Not unless you want to try sneaking up on top of the platform. There's to allow for either directional travel, but unless you're going up top you're limited to what you can see from under the "floor"
>>23841"Vedy simple, you light it, and it works." he smiles.
>>23843"And what does it do exactly?"
>>23842i burst through the floor.
>>23837... Where is the bird going?
>>23845>>23846>>23847>PAUSEI need about an hour break. sorry ._.`
>>23850Okay.
Take care of what you need to.
>>23850alright have a nice time.
>>23850ok now ill be back in about 30 minutes to an hour.
>>23845"I don't know!" he seems pleased by this.
>>23848Did you mean through the hole?
>>23847The bird eventually relaxes its patrol and makes its way over to a rocky spire over there
GM points. You following it?
>>23861Yes, follow in stealth, from a safe distance.
>>23862Nope, its entirely unused.
>>23863Yeah, he lands on that spire over there
points [1d20 = 14]>>23864"Why did you suggest it to me? What did I say that made you think it was right for me?"
Sense motive
>>23864Slowly approach the spire over "there", in stealth.
>>23865"Im sorry, I completely forgot. But I see it, and I know this man. It for you, it definitely. You should buy," his shtick would be far more irritating if money was an issue.
>>23867"Should it be used in formal setting or similar to a torch?"
>>23866Its a perch. From here you can see all around the spire, with no obstructions. Including, the nest about 60' lower, nesled in a jut of stone.
>>23868"I do not know." ^_^
>>23869*eyes narrow*
"I'll take it"
"But before I go, does the shop [this guy is from the shop right?] have any special knives, daggers, or special stabbing equipment in stock?"
>>23869>it really had a nestAw, poor thing...
Look closer, carefully. What's in it?
>>23871"Yes of course habibi. Come I take you." He leads you to a booth with letter openers. "Here are special knives."
>>23870Welcome. So is it through the hole or through the
floor?
>>238732 eggs
>>23874>2 eggsFug...
Give me a minute to figure something out.
Poor birdie..
>>23874it depends on if i have to roll to bust through the floor.
>>23879HOW MANY LETTER OPENERS DO I RECIEVE!
Go with Fae to see Adam at the saw mill
>>23880It was hunting ponies just a few minutes before
Is the tower visible from the top of the mountain?
>>23879ill knock on the trapdoor.
Also, is he incubating the eggs atm?
[1d20 = 15]>>23881One dozen letter openers. "What'cha gonna do with those?" Thez asks.
>>23883Off in the distance, yes.
>>23884The trapdoor is banged in. The orcs react with surprise.
>>23884Excuse me, I misread that. They do react with surprise tho.
>>23887"hello do you have a minute to talk about our lord?"
>>23890Infernius can hear whispering for a moment, then the trapdoor opens a crack, and then shuts its self. Agitated whispering can be hears.
>>23891*opens trapdoor before they stab through it*
>>23886Then who incubates the eggs while the mother is gone?
Okay then, very, very very stealthily approach the rim of the nest, making sure the eggs are between Tracy and Daddybird, to obstruct her image (back in small form).
>>23887"I was wanting a proper gift for Tracy, but I doubt she'd be impressed by these. I think one or two would be nice as a contingency stabbing weapon, since I have no stabbing weapons, and it has happened before that I have lost my one lethal melee weapon in combat. Get hit in the eye with this and you're reasonably fucked. Also I think Tracy would be impressed if I killed someone that way. It's even edgier than using a sword or knife.
And the rest, well, I'll use them to open letters"
>>23891Goes to the mill
Tells Fae "alright, burn the sludge. I'd rather you be fine with my decisions"
>>23897She's part dragon. I'm sure she can find some way of burning things
>>23899Get your head out of the gutter and convert the heathens, Mr. Cleric.
>>23899Also, she has brass scales.
>>23902Gold dragons can do it too
>>23894Thez nods, impressed.
>>23896"At once."
No, she doesn't have a breath weapon.
>>23904Helps Fae burn sludge, if necessary
>>23893Tracy approaches the nest carefully.
>>23905She can handle it. If you had committed to keeping it I would have had it turn into a monster on you, but disposing it will avoid that consequence.
>>23906There are two ways to approach the nest. One is to ethereal right to it and become material again, the other is to climb up along the rock in stealth.
>>23907Have her go Ethereal while she can. Get between the eggs and Daddybird to hide behind them.
Press ear to one of the eggs and listen.
[1d20 = 20]>>23909An orc wearing a pot for a helmet is inside the trap-door with a black scarf over his face yells: "Nazi!" as he attacks with a club.
>>23911Let the eggs be between her and the bird*
>>23912Go to the Saw Mill specifically to speak with Adam
>>23911Listen to both the eggs for that matter.
>>23911Hold on a sec. There's no "popping back in from ethereal and being auto-stealth". The position of the eggs is such quite because of the visibility factor.
>>23915K. "Yeah?"
>>23917With an intense look he asks bluntly
"What did she do?"
>>23917Okay then, slowly creep over the rim of the nest in material pony form alongside the eggs, while Daddybird isn't looking (the moment he looks back at the valley), then hide behind the eggs.
>>23920Rock eggs are as big as a car, right?
>>23922And the adult ones are big enough to carry off a pony or much, much bigger. Why do you want to bring one home? You already have a Tarrasque
>>23919You would, but that was a really good hit. I'm gonna say it stunned you and they force the trapdoor closed again and bolt it.
The talking is muffled, but loud and excited. You can't make out what they're saying.
Would this be considered a non-lethal weapon?
>>23927The door holds solid. Your position on the ladder doesn't allow any sufficient leverage to apply against the door.
>>23930>barbed club>non-lethalSo, while Tracy can go etherealness at will, that doesn't change the fact that the spell-like ability
does have a limited duration. Tracy momentarily appears and either begins falling or is spotted on the ledge next to the nest.
>>23931>limited durationI thought it was 20 rounds?
>>23923Speaking of taking home creatures to raise that you think are harmless or domestic-able, but really just destroy everything when you leave them alone...
>>23931GM, what does Adam say when asked
"What did she do?"
>>23932You spent several minutes etheral waiting for the Roc to lose interest. That alone is 20, 30 or more rounds of Etheralness
why the fuck do i Never roll over 10 REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
>>23931I stab into the floor as far as i can then i set my sword on fire.
>>23932Oh, wait, the transformation, you mean.
Get on the ledge for cover, or rather, get in the nest right next to the eggs, and stare straight at the bird, because why not at this point?
I've been a massive fool tonight. Idk t this point... >>23933You're asking Adam?
"Yeah, it is," his body language suggests that was a dumb question and why the fuck did you come all the way here to ask me that.
>>23932Its 20 minutes actually, but
>>23934 its been a minute since she first went ethereal to escape the Roc. It can be re-engaged from wherever it is you never said she's at, but she's definitely been spotted.
>>23936Again, same story. The ladder doesn't provide sufficient leverage to stab into the wood, and the wood appears long-stained over many years, preventing it from being casually flammable.
>>23939fuck this i go back to the tower.
>>23940You arrive back at the tower, about to get the trolling of a lifetime. Thez is there, finishing up preparations on what appears to be an ebin feast. The whole mess area tables are lined with ridiculous proportions of all kinds of stuffs. Its fuckin' Thanksgiving, what do you want from me? As Infernius enters, she looks over at him and smiles. "Hey there I'nis. Have you seen Tracy?"
>>23939"I'll... come back later..."
>>23941gm when was the last time i saw her? last night?
>>23943Hmmmm, she thinks for a moment, not getting the sort of answer she'd hoped for. <whoof> she disappears.
>>23937>>23939>disappear momentarily>reappear on eggs*sits on eggs with fat horsebutt*
[staring intensifies]
Beckon it to come closer.
I'm drunk as fuck, but here goes.She does confer fire resistance like in 5e, right? Her tail won't burn the egg,
right? >>23945No, but that would heat them quite well now that you mention it, and more than a round in one spot gives concealment (smoke). The Roc can no longer see effectively into the nest area.
>>23947They're still alive. The Roc flaps around frustratedly, but even with its wing beat it can't dissipate the smoke that readily billows from Tracy.
>>23948How far progressed to they feel? Are they well-developed, or freshly laid?
>>23949It feels like the embryos occupy all of their eggs except the air cells.
>>23950Assume Heavy Warhorse shape, after eggs are heated sufficiently.
>Smoke stops*stares straight up at the bird, even more intensely than before*
>>23952"do we have any cages around here?"
>>23942"You do that," he replies. Please note, Adam is a sarcastic bastard, I'm not just making that up.
>>23954He stops what he's doing. "What now?" raising his goggles. "I don't know about cages, but what do you need a cage for?"
>>23953Didn't we just agree you'd need to be mounted to go Heavy Warhorse?
>>23955>to go Heavy WarhorseI thought that was for Cauchemar form?
Either way, do what it takes to stop the smoking.
>>23956You're right. Heavy warhorse was for when she's on fire and ethereal and shit. Which she is/has-been the whole time. Going Pony is how to stop the smoke.