Now with less salt!
The party has had a good talk, after nearly ripping its self to pieces. They may still rip each-other to pieces, but in spite of it all the Game will go on.
The nerd and his pet are still in the stadium, kind of like in vidya RPG's where the villain is clearly occupying a particular space but the player wanders off to do side-quests and meta shit.
The tower had been filled with frogs, salt, and vitriol, but all have been cleared out and things seem to be leveling out, as both players and characters sort their differences rather than figuring out how to cause the GM to have an aneurysm or go an hero on the whole thing. Also there's kittens.
Whew, this is what you get when you mix games and the paranormal!
549 replies and 49 files omitted.
>>17715Ill give you a crash course after my bath k? I mean afterall i did single handedly convince the Fhürer to begin the colonization of our solar system.
>>17721>solar systemIsn't england closest to the sun?
>>17720I know, but whatever works, just so I don't have to hi-light posts and scroll up to figure out who's doing what. This is going to be a challenge
>>17720"If you dont mind mr trumpadin."
*Drops clothes and goes and sits in the bath tub.*
>>17723It never sets, I know that much
>>17719"Come back?"
>>17721"More than once, if you didn't know"
>>17724I do what I want
>>17726Too right, fair enough. Carry on then.
>book flipping intensifies
GM, can Tracy restock her potions or not?
[1d20 = 13]
Performance roll
>>17734Call me retarded, but my guess is strip dance
>>17739Aw thanks tracy it makes me feel good to be complimented on my singing.
>>17741"And damned fine choreography to go with it, might I add"
>>17742Your making me blush trumpadin.
>>17740*confiscates clothes*
>>17741"I can recognize talent when I see it.
I'm going to go take my bath before these autistic faggots pit us all to our dooms against that weird dog."
goodnight everyone Thez wakes up to the sound of the music and rushes to Infernius.
"I'nis,... I hope you won't be mad,... but she's hawt. I hope you won't let it bother you though, you're still my favorite," she says lifting a wing and revealing her hip, on which the gemstone pattern shows a small picture (inspired by Tracy's cutie mark) of her tail entwined with his.
>>17743"If you can do that here, there's so much I know you can do. So much talent. Our potential is unlimited. You'll get a hell of a lot more than a bathtub of blood, I can promise you that. And more than a solar system."
>>17744"Let yourself not be discouraged. I'm not stopping till I have the stars"
>>17746The bull can come too if he wants.
>>17744"Are you sure you don't want to bathe with us?"
>>17746Trumpaladin stares down Thez
>>17749"O-oh, Flashy. I didn't know you fancied blood baths."
*gets in the tub, which I assume is big enough for everyone*
>>17748>>17746me dont mind me come too.
*leaves cats goes to bathroom*
>>17751"Just like... what the fuck Tracy"
*disgust*
>>17752Trumpaladin's look of seriousness resumes
"You defended an Empire, didn't you? Now, we can create one. And damned straight you can. You'll have the opportunity of a lifetime tomorrow"
>>17751All Trump bathtubs are big enough to hold multiple women besides a man
>>17756Just what I was thinking. This is almost suspicious levels of lewd
>>17754>*disgust*The bathtub is full of blood, and you invited her in.
>>17756D-d-delet this!
>>17756"God, please be deer. Please be deer"
>>17754I did with the help of the others. We were able to bring down (((them))) all
>>17759I've been implying thart she's been wreaking havok on the local wildlife for months, but I won't tell you what this is.
*picks floating eyeball out of the tub and looks at it*
Thez whispers to Infernius "Its like she can read minds."
>>17760"You've done it before? I'm impressed. We'll do it again. And again."
>>17761I'm guessing probably mammal then?
Kittens?
>>17765"You have new brothers and sisters here. Perhaps a new furher as well"
>>17767Thez crosses her fingers and mutters "Please don't be a troll. Please don't be a troll. Please don't be a troll...."
>>17768Don't make me hang a bitch
>>17764"So... We gonna do this?"
Thez sinks into the tub till her nose is barely above the water(blood?) level.
I'm gonna have to step away. Kudos, you've exceeded my ability to play along.
Every time there's an awkward silence a retarded baby is born.
>>17773Trumpaladin, also thoroughly disgusted, contemplates taking vials of the blood to see if anything - one - needs ressurrecting at the entertron, and if anypony needs smiting. Or if he just needs bleach
>>17775And... There it is.
Resistance is overwhelmed, and Trumpaladin does what is stated in
>>17775 >>17769Im not a troll dont worry.
>>17779"Nevermind... Forgive me, this whole setup is too suspicious. Not you. The blood. We killed our jews months ago"
>>17785Trumpaladin takes blood samples, and tries to figure out where the hell it came from, hoping he doesn't accidentally resurrect a grizzly bear, or Korak, or a cougar or something while running it through the Entertron
>>17787Also, Kills Tracy if she's been killing Port Barry Citizens
>>17782Is it because you don't find me attractive?
*obvious sadness in voice*
>>17789"No No No No. If anything, your attractiveness is almost too much for any man to handle. I... don't think I've seen a woman so beautiful in so long"
>>17791"I'm just suspicious of the blue one is all. But you. You have an amazing voice. You will impress all the peoples when we liberate their lands. You have an beautiful face, charms everyone. Charms me"
>>17780"I hope you'll pardon my suspicious nature, its just so,... charming."
>>17792"I agree. Perhaps we could do a duet sometime?
no pun" Thez asks meekly. "I'm a bit flustered by you, but I'm a world-class performer in my own right, and if we can ever find that damn city, I've already got a record contract."
>>17792That makes me feel better :)
Goes to sleep irl.
>>17794*Goes off to see if he needs to kill the pony*
GM does Smite Evil work on all attacks in a full round or just the first one?
>>17795Can be a normal attack or as one of a full round of attacks.
>>17793Id love to do a duet with you thez!
>>17796So can it be cast in the same round as an attack is done?
>>17795If you wanted, you could even do 3 smites in one full round attack (u get 4/day). Its not a 'cast', its a special attack.
>>17797Thez starts blowing bubbles in the blood, still looking meek.
She's totally unaccustomed to someone so comely not being repulsed by her >>17799How could any one be repulsed by thez?
>>17797"So,... you probably have questions,... about the world and all,..."
>>17799I feel like you said before it requires a full round to cast
So would damage be the d10 for Paladin (is that right?) plus 3 for strength modifier (1.5 times a +2 modifier for a two handed weapon) plus 15 for 15 Paladin levels?
>>17799Trumpaladin takes more of the blood in case he needs it to resurrect someone. Unless it's confirmed animal, then he leaves it there
>>17800"... cuz I have a tendency to tear things to shreds with fists, claws, feet, and tail,... and I'm obviously infernal,... and I sometimes eat faces,..."
>>17801"Im sure ill wake up in a bit, its fine."
>>17802I must have misunderstood your meaning. There's a spell (I can't find it atm) that is named something like Smite Evil, but the paladin ability does normal weapon damage plus paladin level(+15) + charisma bonus (+3)
>>17807"Well, unless that's what happens when you die in this world, I don't know of anyone waking up. There's a legend that says that killing the Terrasque might open a portal to wherever you want to go, but no one has ever succeeded."
>>17808Isn't the charisma bonus applied to the attack roll (which should be +4 because I added two of the ability points to charisma for 18) and the paladin level to the damage amount?
There's a plus 15 to the attack roll on the first attack in every round, so with smite evil that's a +19 on the first attack roll
>>17807"Many have... tried," she looks down for a moment. "You came in at an odd time, as the Terrasque happens to be not far from here, waiting for us with,... an old 'friend'."
>>17809"Wait so this isnt a dream"
"Then where the hell am i?"
>>17813"Isn't everything a dream more or less? This is world of potential. Its been said that this world was created by the combined will of all the Gods. Here are brought individuals who have pleased, and in some cases enraged, various entities. Those individuals are given free reign to do with as they please, intended to be for the enjoyment of both the individuals themselves and whatever entities and deities that can perceive it. I like to refer to it as Final Fantasy Football."
"The only real consistency I have found is that everyone who finds themselves here has died in their planet, plane, or dimension of origin."
>>17811I am not sure, but if Tracy has a breastplate, those damn bracers, and a dexterity of 19, then she has an AC of +11 - +5 for breast plate, +3 for dexterity (she has a +4 modifier, but breastplates limit dexterity to +3), and +3 from the bracers (am I missing something?) So a first attack roll has higher than a 1 it hits (no smite evil, normal +15 on first roll), second attack has higher than a 1 (+10 attack bonus), and third attack has a 6 or higher (+5 third attack bonus), it lands?
>>17813"Welcome to hell"
>>17814>>17815"As the demon lady says. We're in Purgatory. Defeat the Devil to escape"
>>17814So this is some kind of sick joke deites are pulling?
>>17816Completely wrong. +10 base AC. Maybe also an extra point or two for small size
>>17816I'd have to double check the numbers (the breastplate is incomplete, so only +3), but something like that. Also, you keep insisting that Tracy's bracers are better than the ring shield; they're not, the bracers are +3 while the ring shield is +4 (2 for shield size and 2 for magical augmentation).
"... devil." e_e
>>17817"If thats how you wish to see it, then yes. For me this is the only place I've ever had,..." glances at Trump and Infernius, "Friends."