This thread begins the next segment of the now blatantly obvious Game threads. known to some faggots as the 'gay bath house'
3 weeks have passed in game time, and Port Barry is largely rebuilt and restructured, though evidence of previous battles are still observable in the architecture, walls, etc.
The people have grown stronger, emboldened by the party as their benefactors, and have taken to Football and the message thereof with great zeal.
Any players wishing to join need simply announce themselves and will be beaten included at the earliest ability.
929 replies and 61 files omitted.
>>12361look here you smelly fuck. the lady is not for sale.
>>12362>hasn't been broken"Challenge accepted."
In a blur of speed, Korak leaps from the deck, rolls past the crowd, to stand (again in a dignified pose with his cane) before Tracy.
"Now now, its best if you don't fight." He says with a bit of a smirk.
[2d20 = 31]>>12364feint a stab
*bites off nose* (real intention)
>>12361*eyes widen*
"Is she in need of a visa?"
>>12359"I have to concur with the bull and the blue one. Trixie here screams "Dangerously Defective and Unsafe," and all of the legal disclaimers in the world could not protect us from the lawsuits that would ensue if she were sold. We cannot sell her in good conscience"
[1d20 = 6]>>12367Grab pony to stop her
Tracy don't you dare get us in a law suit already
>>12366Ignored
>>12367Despite great rolls, Korak perceives the feint, and avoids the attack, moving gracefully around to the side. As he does so, he taps his cane against the ground which quickly becomes a scottish-style, basket hilt claymore (free action). He also flips his cape, which begins to swirl with color, concealing his body below the neck.
>>12370"Uh, sir, that's not advisable"
[2d20 = 31]>>12369It can no longer be avoided...
>>12370Use chain to sunder weapon
Also roll for Intimidate check
[1d20 = 12]>>12374Fuck it
To Tracy
"Don't hurt him too much"
To the dwarf
"I'll pay you back, but I think you misunderstand the situation"
Pulls out the weapon smasher, and attacks to break his claymore
[1d20 = 4]>>12371No worries
>>12372You're on a roof. You want to climb down? You climb down.
>>12373So not listening, his eyes are on a prize. Spoiler alert, Korak makes a good deal of money from selling slaves. Not my character, just being authentic.
>>12374<BANG>As Tracy begins to draw her weapon (which is a free action, but he had prepared this action) his cloak flies away revealing a pistol.
[1d20 = 11]>>12376Alright, attack straight for the pistol if possible
There is no way I can possibly keep up with specific action
[1d8 = 1]
[10d6 = 32]
He hits, a solid strike to Tracy's shoulder.
>>12376>4I've got evasion and improved uncanny dodge; can't she avoid that?
If it misses, does that provoke an attack of opportunity?
[4d20 = 56]>>12379Saving roll
if not, Autohypnosis: ignore the pain
If that succeeds, lunge forward and go for the gun with intent to cut of his hand in the process (I'm guessing this is an attack of opportunity, because who'd expect someone to ignore a gunshot wound)
Add a Psionic Surge to the lunge (she's pissed)
That REALLY hurt, and Tracy is momentarily stunned.
>>12377It'll take another round to close distance.
>>12380Not when all the modifiers are considered, plus it was a sneak attack (saving throw, not attack). You did get less damage for the evasion, but he still landed it.
>>12381You're welcome to act, but you're out of melee/action range.
"Gust" says Korak.
From the tip of his blade, a gale-force wind blows at Tracy, making her unable to make any forward progress.
"Trump! In addition to saving me town, you've brought me this lovely surprise!"
He menacingly walks forward, maintaining the wind.
>>12382Your lunge is cut short, as buffeting winds prevent you from advancing
[1d20 = 4]>>12384[autistic neighing]
Check for Intimidation, because why not?
Korak glances around him for a moment, as the wind subsides.
"Now then pretty pony, won't you be a good girl? I'd hate to further damage that delightful figure."
Meanwhile, Thez: "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>12383Cast Detect alignment
"Uh, I'm sorry but I don't remember making a contract. And you certainly can't have her now, she is needed here"
>>12386Okay, creeped the fuck out by that remark
As the wind subsides, Korak stands just out of range of Tracy, sword leveled at her. In his other hand he holds the pistol.
>>12390If I have a move and I am in range, go for weapons smash on the pistol. If not, go with
>>12388 and possibly move closer
>>12388"Yeah, I'm still planning our wedding ceremony!"
>is touchingCast Inflict Moderate Wounds
>>12388Neutral Evil
>>12388"Oh, but we're only just getting started! You said she needed to be tamed,...."
>>12392Trump closes in behind Korak, just out of range.
>>12394Cast? 'splain.
Motion ceases for a second.
[1d20 = 14]>>12395Cast protect from evil, or whatever that spell is called, on Tracy
"Just what is your business here?"
>>12395Level II Blackguard Spell
>Tracy is so edgy that she can cut just by touching youIf not, go for Inflict Slight Wounds
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Inflict_Moderate_Wounds >>12396Okay, that won't work, just close in range to destroy the Pistol
>>12397Which spell set is the proper spell set? There's a radically different one for each edition
>>12400I.. I don't know how it works...
I was using this page:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:BlackguardBecome momentarily Ethereal: phase through the dock
>>12402Idk how spells work at all...
Motion resumes
>>12396Done, a golden aura of Football envelops Tracy, granting several bonuses. +2 to ac, saves, and other effects (mind control, etc.)
>>12398You teleport behind him, but I don't know what the phrase is supposed to do. He doesn't respond regardless.
>>12399It did work though (the spell). You can attempt on the pistol next round.
>>12400I'm going with 3.5 paladin atm, which prot from evil is a 1st level spell.
>>12402OOooh! That was a GOOD MOVE.
Korak stands there, a bit stunned at what he's seen.
"I'm beginning to get why she isn't tamed yet."
He spins and levels his pistol at Torcuil.
"And who might YE be?"
>>12401Cast a spell to remove Jewiness
>>12403You're doing great. Since you have distance and concealment, you can stealth or cast spells unbothered. Remember how easily he spotted you in stealth tho.
[1d20 = 13]>>12404The man who shagged ye mum
>stab with dagger [1d20 = 16]>>12404"Yep, that's Trixie for you, now sorry but I'm going to have to put that down"
Destroy the pistol!
>>12405e_e It sounds like you're trying to cast Remove Curse, but that doesn't apply. You're now unrestricted and not hindered, and you're beneath the dock (which is about 30' wide, so it will take more than one round for anyone in hot persuit to get to your position, and atm no one is.
>>12406>>12405i cast circumcision reversal.
>>12409I was talking to the Nazi Cleric: he should have a spell for this.
*prowls in stealth*
>>12405>>12407>>12410Don't kill him until we know we can do so without a general revolt. He's popular. The people love them. I've spent too damn long trying to make these people love me
When we can do so safely, then we kill him, take his stuff, and any foreign lands he owns as colonies
>>12408Stop calling her Trixie, you're hurting her feelings
>Her entire meme used to be killing people for calling her fluttershy>>12410This has to count as ability drain for kikes.
>>12407Korak parries the dagger with his pistol.
"Yer loss mate!" he shouts at Torcuil, while performing an elaborate parry against Trump's attack.
"Aye! This is magnificent All of ye, come at me then!" he taunts, seeming to enjoy all this. He foregoes any attacks and steps back out of range in a dueling pose.
>>12410Ur sack already regenerated.
>>12415Circumcisions are for forskins: all Jews cut off their foreskins to gain Jew powers.
>>12415"Just who exactly are you, why are you here, where are you from, and what is you business?"
>>12414He's being elusively in character, Tracy understands that he's keeping her anonymous.
>>12413As more of the well dressed pirates circle around, you rethink the wisdom of that course of action. Strangely, their faces are not conflicted, they're quite enjoying this and don't seem to see it as a deadly confrontation.
>>12415I make my dagger into a full claymore
>>12414ITS TO PROTECT YOU
>>12420WAIT
Cancel that shit, I'm retarded
Teleport ~20 feet away
Steal pistol with Magno-rod
"I'm the captain now"
>>12416e_e It has no effect.
>>12418"I built this town," he says, flicking his hand for a moment. "I gathered the people here" he levels the sword at Torcuil (who is closest) on whom he unleashes another gust (torcuil is kinda stunned, unless he wants to retreat)l, "Defended it," he tosses his cane aside and now stands facing Trump, both hands holding pistols. "And now I'm wonderin' what YER business is. Ye never answered me question about Football, not to me satisfaction anyhow."
[2d20 = 34]>>12413[murderous pony noises]
*lunge up through dock in sneak attack with a Psionic surge and sodomize him with a lightning Javelin*
>>12421Good move, pistols stolen.
"Wha?"
>>12423This was directed towards Korak, btw...
[1d20 = 6]>>12419"I see what's going on" he says, like the WWE champion he is
>>12422With one attack slot, I should have two, cast smite evil, with the other, attack him with Vanderium
[3d6 = 7]>>12423Works for me.
Tracy erupts from a now hole in the dock, launching a javelin of lightning at him. It doesn't hit squarely, but he feels it
>>12430Does the electrocution promote an opportunity attack?
>Pants sizzled off*dual wield*
Castrate him with one kunai and shove another into his haggis
>>12426Kek, fail. He's remarkably limber for an otherwise tight stanced dwarf.
>>12427Are you shooting, cuz that was a meme
>>12428Duh
>>12429Except attacks are not exchangeable for spells. You can get one 'normal' spell and (if applicable) one instant spell per round, no more. You get 3 attacks, but if you cast you don't get any.
>>12433Oh dear.
>>12432Can any of us preform necromancy or bringing faggots back to life?
>>12434Eh, I'll shoot a kneecap
>>12433The saddest part is, I meant to roll two die...
[3d20 = 31]>>12434Then Attack, Attack, Attack
should that be a ten or a twenty die? [2d20 = 27]>>12437Torcuil fires with both pistols.
At the same time Trump unleashes a combo.
"Bees" Korak says, a hexagonal shield of yellow force appearing in front of his left hand.
[1d100 = 22]>>12440You have no idea. Thez has a hard time hitting his slippery ass, even when she's not holding back.
Both of Torcuil's shots ping off the shield, while Trump misses (dodge), misses (dodge), and with a great cry from Vandereim, hits so squarely that Korak may lose an arm
>>12446I don't know when my turn is, but with my next attack, I cast DISPEL MAGIC against the Bees
Do I need to roll? I guess my attack failed?
When can I move again?
>>12445Tracy last zapped him with lightning. No need for the next move, the fight is over now.
Trump's swing very neatly lops off Korak's hand just above the cufflink. He looks down at it in shock, then at the party surging in against him.
"Alright, I give. You look soft, but you're a bunch of salty fucks, I'll give ya that."
As more attacks come in at him, he blurs off to the side (magic item).
"Sechs, see that they're tended to, and snatch up me hand. I wanna have a long talk with 'em."
He turns toward the pirates.
"Now don't give me that look, there were four of 'em!" and to this, the pirates raise a cheer.
>>12449>puts guns in kilt cloakSo what do we do with this faggot?
[2d20 = 14]>>12449Appraise magic item
Also, pickpocket whatever I can from him before he leaves
He swivels his eyes to Trump. "I take it then that ye are the leader of this bunch."
>>12449Okay, scratch
>>12447>>12453"You might say that. What is you purpose here?"
>>12453has tourcil disarmed him?Issue some form of "hold your fire" to Tracy
>>12449i cast cure moderate wounds.
>>12454"I told ye, I built this place, I'm the leader of this Port. I'LL BE HAVING THOSE BACK THANK YE" he yells at Torcuil.
"Anyway, I've been away at sea for months. Upon my return, I see the port has been a wee mangled, fixed up, and there be some shiny arseholes doin my job. I suppose I owe ye one for that." he looks at his hand. "But methinks that debt has been paid. By the way, you could have avoided all this by admitting the blue one is one of yer's. She's mighty fine though," he says with a lewd grin.
>>12459the pirate thats bleeding
>>12458The sword, which had been retrieved by one of the pirates, begins to levatate, carrying the pirate with him. Korak looks at the pirate, scans around to look at Torcuil. "Alright, enough of that."
