/ub/ - Überhengst

A river, several yards wide, split the city of Venarty in two. Not even a ripple disturbed its surface. The river's mirror-like reflection duplicated everything above the river to be below it as well. That happened to the limestone bridge crossing it.

The bridge had on pillar in the middle of it and then two perfect half-circle arches on either side of it formed the shape of the bridge's underside but due to the reflection they looked more like a pair of drilled holes into a wall of limestone. Statues of men sat perched in small holes along the side of the bridge, one on either side of the water and one in the pillar, in the middle. A long, red plant grew off the solid stone railing of the bridge and cascaded down towards the waters like long hair. More of this red plants could be found floating in the river.

The sun had just risen and it only cast its light on the buildings on one side of the bridge while the other remained in shadow. A rowboat stood docked on the more sunny-side though, it still lay in shadow as the sun had not climbed that high yet. The owner had docked the rowboat next to long staircase, short steps but long in distanced.

I let myself use more 'be-verbs' this time since it's much easier for me to write that way. I wanna switch between focusing on it and not so that I don't ruin writing for myself by putting the bar for what I write beyond what I can expect from myself.

-------------------------------------------

By the curves you could tell that the assassin was a woman. While not voluptuous, she had an hourglass figure if only due to her thine waist. But her face was obscured by both black face mask that covered her nose and mouth and a bit over-sized hoodie. The hoodie had some cool looking flame-but-not-really motifs emerging in red from its hem that went along with the rest of the black fabric. The hoodie transitioned into what was almost like a cape but it was more like to scarfs hung after her.

She also wore corset with a bust size that was relatively modest consider her strong curves. They athletic curves anyway, if that makes any sense. The corset was locked in place at the front, over the stomach, via two silver bars that attached to their own pair of silver locking mechanisms. The corset had an open section, by design, at the side the stomach area that was only tied together by crossing leather straps. Anyway, the bottom silver locking-bar had been removed and revealed her skin-tight stomach and her small navel.

She wore a mini-shirt that split into two parts: One front part that was a rectangle piece of also black fabric, and the back was a longer, regular skirt that dragged on behind her. In the gap between the two pieces one could see a bit of her underwear cling to her leg.

She revealed a lot of skin over her upper-thighs but lower than that she wore some long as socks that really looked more like she'd taken a black ribbon and spun it around her leg till it looked like one. Her right had a straps around the sock for an arrow quiver.

The socks had holes in them over on the top side of her feet and she wore black monotone, sleek heels, that were quiet thick.

Her hands had also weird mummified clothes to them, kinda like gloves. One of her hands grasped an arrow, one of four in the quiver, and the other held a crossbow aimed into the ground. Tied to the end of the crossbow and looped around her wrist as a rope and around it there was an ring made out amber.

>>8014
This is AI

>>8015
>AI
I don't follow. What do you mean?

A distant roared turned into a nearby shriek that abruptly stopped.

Every time Summer Rose blinked, everything changed but also not. She felt heavy and the sky? Was in midnight blue so she almost thought she was at the bottom of the ocean. Her body, the landscape around her, and whatever it was that filled the sky were all blurry silhouettes.

Certain realizations pumped pure ice into her heart, well as much as she could realize as her head spun and she struggled to focus. Realizations that, she had just of baking cookies for her family and extended family but now, only one girl remained. Was this girl- Ruby Rose, my daughter, she reminded herself with fiercely. -her only family, but that didn't make any sense, she even remembered that she explicitly invited her extended family as well. Was she being self-depricating because she only had one daughter in her family. But who was her father. Was she adopted? No, she knew she wasn't she remember giving birth... To a.. Baby. Hmm, was this girl the same person as that infant from that memory?

Both had silver eyes, right?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes!

It was. That was her daughter.

Wait, what did she just realize..?

Right, her daughter is... Was... Ruby Rose.... Or Ruby Ose? Pose?

Ruby.

Ruby.

She wanted to remember that, however she feared she might forget. Actually, she knew there was no hope, was there? She would forget it.

I don't want to...

She felt... Sleepy.

I will... I can... I want... ... ... I can't.

"I'm sorry, Ruby," she managed to groan out.

Suddenly, she felt herself sinking and the world grew darker still.

"Ruby."

Unbeknownst to Summer, her silver irises were slowly replaced by grass green color seeping in and spreading out.

Ruby, she thought one last time before she was competently engulfed by the darkness.

The world beyond didn't have time so that world was simply no more and never was as in this new world turquoise pyre burned.

----------------------------------------------

"Revenant, the search for the relic can wait. Find and capture the girl that did this to Cinder, alive," said a quite beautiful voice despite it coming from the very queen of monsters: Salem.

The Revenant she was referring to sat among the rest of her top servants, excluding ancient grim, that sat at the table.

Revenant was short and had clear curves, indicating that 'it' was a her. She wore a black armor with a white cloak over he shoulders. A helmet obscured her face. A green ponytail sprouted out on the back of the helmet. Out of the holes of the eyes, turquoise flames crawled out.

She nodded.

-----------------------------

Team RJNR entered anCould I not have a 'the' here instead of an 'an'? I ponder this because 'the' is for identifying and now it just a general one but we could say that it's a a specific one just that the reader doesn't understand the context. But then there is no reason not to have 'a' instead, I guess, since it's more general. abandon town. They walked through empty alleyways, expecting grim to jump out at them or, honestly people, despite knowing better. It was probably due to it being a town and they were so used to associating it with a public place that to have one with nobody around was strange and a bit unnerving. They entered an area with no buildings but still surrounded by buildings and just pavement.

I think I wanna try to cut out words like, 'then', 'suddenly', etc. cuz I think they serve no real purpose or that they impact is lost on overuse? I don't know. Just testing is all. Then they she it, As the they got closer to the center of the open area, even the fog that blanketed the town could not stop them from seeing a human figure standing in the center. It looked at them.

They stopped.

>>8017
>A distant roared turned into a nearby shriek that abruptly stopped.
>>8016
Thats what I mean

>>8017
>A distant roared turned into a nearby shriek that abruptly stopped
Perhaps
>A distant SOUND roared, turnING SWIFTLY to a nearby shriek BEFORE stoppING ABRUPTLY.

edits in caps

Her shadow lingered behind on the walls even after she move out of the light of the streetlamps. She, like all of her kind, stalked the night and could only deal with artificial light, least she be burned to dust by the sun. Her shadow was less like shadow and more like cloud of darkness or bundle of touchy tentacles or hands, eager to feel and linger on every thing she passed.

She polished her right fang with her tongue. It ached.

Her bloodline's magic was shadow manipulation.

When she walked into an unlit back-alley, she'd no problem seeing due to her slit eyes despite bring enough darkness to turn the back-alley into a cave.

Not only did her blood art enable her to manipulate her shadow but it also enabled her move quicker in darkness; like a going down stream, she flew through the zigzagged maze of alley ways. Her tiny, cute nose picked up a trail and she immediately, pursued it.

She went from lightning speed to complete stop in the snap between fingers. The air she carried, loudly blew in her ear as it passed her, making her cloak, the trash in the corridor between buildings, and the unkempt grey beard of the homeless man flutter in the wind.

She glared down at him, who with newly awoken, wide eyes searched in the darkness for her. She clicked her tongue.

This man smelled like shit. No, she realized and glanced bitterly at a trashcan, the smell emanated from the bin.

She heard a hiss and a cry of pain.

A cat, who seemed to have laid in the lap of the homeless man, looked straight at her in the dark while arching its back, fattening its tail, and clutching the man's leg with its claws. Then, it took off.

She had been here before. While this man moved his sleeping spot around, he kept coming back here to this network of alley ways that she always used to, well anywhere that she cared about. It was a logistics issue. Her safe-house, or home, and the few places she frequented had this labyrinthine between them.

"Are you there, vampire?" the man asked as he searched with his hand in the air for anyone.

She had never answered him before. In fact, the first time she woke him up, he'd looked beyond scared. The second time, she remembered his teeth clattered. After that he didn't show up again for a like a few months. Then he returned. This time, he had, with a painful grimace, tilted his head to the side to reveal his neck. After she had just left him, there like the other times; he had gotten more and more bold.

She sighed and scratched her neck with her sharp nails.

"Yes, human," she said.

She kinda regretted the words as she said them. Not because she really disagreed, or did she? But more so because they weren't her words but just what she felt was expected of her to say as a fledgling in vampire society.

Like, she said that but part of her had to do a double-take, wasn't she human before realizing that, no, she wasn't anymore.

The man had been stunned for a while, almost as if he had not expected an answer and certainly, not one that confirmed his suspicions.

Then he chuckled.

"Eheh heh heh, ah' heard ya' bats could herd shadows like a shepherd can wit' 'em sheep. Cuz' this here be blacker than a nigg-er!"

A dour smile crept onto her lips.

She knew a past version of herself, her human-self, would have told them man to not use the n-word and now, the very idea made her drown in guilt. She was a murderer. One of her first feedings had gone wrong and she had ended up draining the man dry.

This feeling or thing kept reoccurring. Now, that she was a vampire, so many things she now viewed from a different light. Polite human society got really mad over bad words while she move around in their metaphorical sewers, encountering the very worst they had to offer. Maybe it wasn't right to compare but it was hard for her to care about bad words after all the darkness she had already witnessed.

Despite this emotional numbness she felt, she still felt for the victims in every bad encounter however, she feared that this was just a passing thing. She knew of vampires felt nothing for the suffering of others, especially her sire, who cared nothing for anyone but herself.

In a way, this homeless man and her were the same, despite her not really wanting to have anything in common with a man that wallowed in his own filth. They were outsiders now. Unable to truly become a part of society again.

The contours of shadows and the man's limited night vision returned again, indicating that the vampire had left the man.

>>8018
I'm not certain what you're saying but I will assume that your implying that my writing is AI-generated. Well, I guess I can't convince you otherwise but I think I do things that AI probably doesn't and also I feel like I have a distinct writing style that people can recognize.

<A distant roared turned into a nearby shriek that abruptly stopped.
My grammar can be meh at times is my excuse for this.

>>8019
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to proofread more, I think. ^^

>>8023
Same anon for both. I wonder if you are writing in english entirely or if there may be sections youre writing in another language and then attempting to translate

>>8024
> I wonder if you are writing in English entirely or if there may be sections youre writing in another language and then attempting to translate.
You're right in that English is indeed my second language. I'm the sven guy. And it's former alternative that is correct. I write this entirely in English from scratch to finished "product". All the awkwardness is just me not really knowing how to handle the language as well as someone who has it as their first-language.

Thanks again for the feedback. I really I'm gonna try to proofread my texts, at least once before posting.

I know it's annoying to read something and suddenly the sentence just breaks down. Kinda immersion breaking.

Story inspired by this story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/323460/1/burning-land-and-stormy-seas/chapter-1
---------------------

Pokémon unknown. Pokémon un- chirped the robotic voice of Crystal's pokéDex before it was cut off.

She quickly pressed down on the mute button on the device. Her eyes went wide as a saucers, Nice. A unique description never seen before. she swallowed, tensed her body to the point of bursting in an effort to not make any hasty moves, and most importantly, loud noises.

She was on her knees, hidden behind long blades of grass that swayed in the wind. She peered up at the unknown pokémon who snoozed cutely on an elevated rock.

Every time it exhaled a snore, its unkempt black hair would pendulum swing away only to fall back into overshadowing its up-side-down, baby-shark fin of a muzzle. It was like a ponyta with shorter legs, with a black mane and tail instead of blazing flames, and green fur instead of vanilla-white. Two things stood out as strange about it to Crystal. On its flank, the fur's coloration shifted in such a way that it formed a black question mark and despite the ears and nose and other ponyta-like features, the face looked eerily human. It was rounder and not as long as ponyta's was.

Crystal adjusted her white, inflated cap by the brim and moved one of her midnight blue pigtails back behind her ear. Her hand went down the left side of the buckle of her belt where three red and white pokéballs hung to the belt. However, she stopped and just hovered them for a moment before her hand crept into her open handbag on the ground from which she had previously retrieved her pokéDex. She fished up a small pokéball; like the others, the size was that of a big pearl; but unlike the others one half of it was light blue instead of red and had two red 'fins' attached to the blue half, looking almost like ears to the ball. She tapped the center button of the ball once and it expanded in her hand until it essentially filled it. She pulled her ball carrying arm back and used the fingers of the other to aim with, and threw.

She held her breath as the ball seem to painfully slowly travel in an arc in the air. However, while she didn't want to jinx it, the trajectory held true. *Bonk.* The ball bounced off the head of the pokemon. It woke up with a cry of pain and confusion before it was drenched in a waterfall of white light being barfed up by the pokéball that opened up. The pokémon disappeared in all the light and as if caught in it like a fishnet, it, along with the almost physical light, was pulled inside the ball. The pokéball snapped shut as the ponyta-light pokemon, now inside it, made it roll from side to side like a love-sick moe character worrying in her bed. The pokeball ceased it's rolling and stopped before shaking a few times before stopping.

Crystal's mouth opened and she stood on her toes by the sheer tension she felt. She felt ready to fist-pump any moment now as fast as she heard the bell sound that indicated a successful catch. One she had heard twice before.

Sadly, for her, that's not what happened: The ball turned into a mini frag grande as the ball cracked an the jagged pieces shot out in every direction.

--------------------------------
>Be Anon filly.
>Be dumped off in the middle of nowhere, with only plants and trees as far as the eye could see.
>You, who had just learned to cope with not having a penis and living with Twilight Spergle as your mother.
>Well, as much as one could expect you to deal with it.
>At first, you thought you were the next victim of one of Rainbow Dash's hilarious pranks; then you encounter the first, among many to come, strange creatures.
>That's when you remember the failed ritual and being hit by a blinding spell. Another creative stroke of genius on my part. This plot device is solely mine. Plz, do not steal.

>>8025
Gasp! Sven? Inconceivable!
Srsly tho, of course it's you, lol
>I know it's annoying to read something and suddenly the sentence just breaks down. Kinda immersion breaking.
Your english is really good, don't get it wrong. Most of the time it's fine and the errors are of the sort that native english writers make and are easy to properly correct mentally. This gets extra marks because native english writers should know better, while you're dealing with a handicap.
The problem occurs where like you describe, the sentence breaks down. The words you will use will be slightly off of 4 moderately different phrases. Or the words will be out of place enough that it becomes hard to determine what you meant to depict. Losing the ability to visualize the story makes it difficult to determine how to offer suggestions of how to do it better. This isn't putting it on you, I appreciate what you're doing and want to be more helpful

>>8022
As she passed, the light from a nearby lamp post was dismissed, almost as if someone had just grabbed hold of the light and tossed it aside. It happened gradually, going from one side of the post to the other as she passed it and the light also returned in the same gradual manner.

It felt like she was an octopus or spider, or something. Like she there were invisible limbs that walked where she walked and ran where she ran, that reach out ahead of her to block out any light. However, that wasn't true because her sire had told her that the rays of the sun would tear through her shadow magic like tissue paper in the paws of a mole.

She heard the clangs of a metal roof behind her being stroke by a rapid succession of foot steps. She threw a glance behind her. It was the black one. She should have lost her tail by now, but somehow the black one kept track of her despite her shadow.

Even before when her shadow hadn't cut off some streetlight, which even she realized would be a big tell on where she went, and she had passed through a dark alley, that one specifically had kept sight of her.

How?

Maybe the young huntress, or huntress-in-training, or whatever, was just really adapt at strengthening her senses with aura, or maybe in the same vein, dark-vision was her semblance. Or maybe the answer was in the opposite direction, perhaps she had some sort of Atlas-tech, perhaps glasses with infra-red vision? But if so, why didn't the white one have it as well, she looked like she just stepped off the boat from Atlas.

That's when she remembered Tipsy, the brown-orange-striped cat, that kept the Alec, the homeless man, company whenever she visit. Even in when engulfed deep in her shadow, the cat had seen her. Slit eyes. Animal eyes. Faunas.

The black one was a faunas. She had to be. They could see in the dark.

She smacked her lips in frustration. The fact that she was a weak fledgling shone through again, as she knew her bloodlines magic could trick even the eyes of both animals and faunas alike. She was just bad.

Another thing that bothered her, was that they kept up. As she peer back again, she saw a whirling burst of wind carrying red petals barreling down behind the black one onto the metal roof with a *katang*, then she heard the yellow one's gauntlets and saw their explosive bangs light up the dark night sky, and last and least she saw the white one looking like she ice-skated down the alleyway behind her with the aid of her summoned glyphs.

What bothered her more than the fact that they were hunting her, was that they were right in doing so. She had failed again to stop her feeding in time and another one had died. This was her third now. Her third kill. First time, she had been devastated over the lose of life, this time she was more angry at herself for not just withdrawing her fangs. It really shouldn't be this hard to stop. That's what she always thought before and after a feeding.

She licked her fangs.

But it tasted too good in the moment.

So she couldn't even blame them for hunting her but she also felt that she couldn't be blamed either for running. She didn't wanna be hurt either.

She was a vampire now. The wolf ate the sheep. The sheep hid behind the shepherd. The shepherd killed the wolf. The cycle of life and death. Was there morality in this?

She told herself things like that a lot these days.

It kept off the guilt she felt but she wasn't sure if she even wanted to believe in the things she told herself.

She didn't know what was right but she was too afraid to to face judgement regardless.

*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang*!

Three powerful shots tore through her shadow; the bullets drilled into her darkness, forming holes like that in Swiss cheese. She threw her gaze back over her shoulder and saw the little girl in red, taking a knee with her weapon in gun-mode, which seemed to be a sniper in her case. Smoke exited the muzzle of the gun and began its ascent to the stars. Her huge red cloak billowed behind her, still dealing with the leftover air turbulence that she had arrived with.

Due to her semblance that let her burst into a turbulent wind of rose petals before reassembling again, she was the fast one but stay behind the black one in order to keep track of where she was. If she could lose the black one, the rest of the team would be lost too. And as luck would have it, such an opportunity just arose.

A bit ahead of her, there was a crossroad with cars and such with a few paths to take, but one was a narrow alleyway without any signs of light in it whatsoever. If it was dark enough, then her speed would be great enough to cut ahead. It only needed to be long as well to truly lose her pursuers.

>>8027
>Srsly tho, of course it's you, lol
^^
>Your english is really good, don't get it wrong.
Aww, thank you.
> Or the words will be out of place enough that it becomes hard to determine what you meant to depict. Losing the ability to visualize the story makes it difficult to determine how to offer suggestions of how to do it better.
Thank you. That's a good point.
I think it happens when I can visualize something clearly in my head with a lot of details and I either can't describe it well or I there is so much I want to mention that the sentences become wordy and unclear.
How can I remedy this problem?
>The words you will use will be slightly off of 4 moderately different phrases.
Could you elaborate this point? I don't get it.

>>8029
>I think it happens when I can visualize something clearly in my head with a lot of details and I either can't describe it well or I there is so much
Sheeit, man. Mah brain be as big as mah dick foo.

>>8030
>>8029
Well if the problem could be said to have been a lack of precision with English your most recent posts have been immaculate (to the point of making one doubt youre esl)

Inspiration from link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uq9p5q88Hg

Also first image is the reference I used for the glasses.
------------------------------

A few lines of silver clouds drifted by the full moon as it hung ten O'clock over the sea. A pillar of white light had been drawn across the water's surface right under the moon. It's edge blurry due to the wind carrying in waves to the harbor of the capital city of Vale, also known as Unithaf.

On a thin, offshoot tail of land, in the distance but in the same direction as the moon, stood a tall lighthouse, beaming a from-side-to-side waving spotlight out over the dark ocean. At the opposite direction, a bunch of buoys and other lights blinked and otherwise lit up a long pier for ships and boats.

However, the large ship near the lighthouse was going to the other port the harbor had, which made sense since that carrier was too big to port at the nearby pier.

She exhaled a sigh in relief at this. She didn't want to be bothered now and she had been worried, since she didn't know anything about in- and out-going traffic for the harbor. She was compromised, at the moment.

Well, then again, her sire's friend, Emery Snout, the nickname that the press had given him and he; probably in glee, she guessed; quickly adopted, was probably causing mayhem at this very moment. It was unlikely, hunters would spared to chase her while he went on a killing spree.

She knew this because: She had poured both him and her sire drinks while wearing her maid's outfit this evening. Wine for her master's cocktail glass and whiskey for the shot. Then she had stood attention in almost two hours, in between them about a meter away from their tiny rectangular glass table. Her sire had been leaning back in her armchair while Emery had slouched and rested his feet on nearby foot stool.

Only a few things had been said to her during the entire evening:

"Hey, Dooka, was'it? Word around town says you killed a little boy." - A hand like a fan with rough nails and curly black hair on it's backside, had given her a thumbs up.- "Heh, good going kid. Ugh, don't like 'em un-dead preachers. Makes my skin crawl, heh heh, more than usual I mean," Emery had said.

"Dooka! ... Good. ... You may speak now," her sire had scolded.

"My fledgling was a bit of a rebel at first you see. She even ran away. Then one day, I wake up to news about a child, savagely murdered. And guess, who shows up on my doorstep the very next evening. Askin' her mama to take her back, which I did with open wings," her sire had sing-songed out.

"Tch, don't cry, kid. The wolf donth cry over his meal... That reminds me. Ugh... As always, Liz', it was a good time. But I gotta practice howling for the show," Emery had said

"Ha, I'm sure you needn't practice. Your aria will grabbed the morning headlines with gusto, Alfred," Madame E'Lizbone had said.

"Ugh, Liz'. Not my name. The kiiid," Alfred, also known as, Emery Snout, had whined as he had gestured towards you and climbed out of his chair.

Then he had left in his tattered clothes.

"Doka? ... With the exception of you talking out of turn. You were [i]this" -Her sire had squashed an invisible grape between her thumb and pointer finger.- "close my dear for a perfect grade, yet you stumbled at the finish line? Hmm, oh well. ... No no, you did well. And you do deserve credit for that my pet." -She had caressed Doka's cheek tenderly while giving her loving gaze. Then she broke it.- "However make sure to remember that when we visit the Celler next week, I have meeting I wish you to accompany me to with a certain, Sir MacDingeson. Please, make sure to only speak once I've give permission, or others... Might talk. ... Anyway, as you probably could tell, Alfred will be out hunting tonight, so I suggest you stay out of his way, pet. He is not himself during the full-moon," her dame had said before leaving her to clean up.[/i]

It put things in perspective for her, Doka. Back when she was human she had worried about being in the bad parts of the city for many reasons but one of them had been because the Emery Snout, the werewolf, would sometimes show up on the streets of Sewter and go on killing spree. Now, he was just another guest for her to service while living in the nest, as it was called.

She had used this to her advantage though, she had use the distraction to hunt herself.

That was why a bone pale old lady laid strewn on the tarmac just a bit away from her.

She still felt bad and... Doka was happy about that. She wanted to still feel bad about this yet, she couldn't help but notice how much easier it had been compared to the other times.

One some level she had accepted it now. She just couldn't resist killing her victim when she feed for some reason. Perhaps she, was the truly evil one, after all this time of thinking that the residence of the dark world were the callous ones, she trumps them all by being sadistic.

Last one, she had given up. She really tried not kill that one, that man, but her lust for blood had won out in the end. If she just had a small sip of it, it was like she wasn't herself anymore. After a long inner debate, she had successfully justified sucking him dry.

It was weird, it was as if her mind knew exactly to the millimeter when one of her victim was empty of blood. She felt that other vampires were different, or perhaps, it was because she was still new. However, unlike, the darkies at the Celler, which she visited once when following along her sire on business, she hated wasting blood. She hated them. She'd been so frustrated there, at the time. Boiling, in fact. She wanted to believe it was because of the gore and blood splatter and maybe it partly was but she had to admit, what made her most angry was that they wasted... Tasty blood.

>>8032

Anyway, the man she killed about two weeks ago from now, had been the last drop. She'd given up on, or tried to stop worrying about it, controlling her urge and had just decided kill someone on purpose this time. She'd had kidnapped an older woman with a with skin like a turtle pulling it's head back into it's shell. The logic that she had used to rationalize it was that she wouldn't live much longer anyway. It worked, for a while.

But looking at her body now and thinking back at her own lost grandma, made her sick to her core.

Are there no humans I can kill without this..? Doka wondered as she bend forward and grabbed her t-shirt over her chest with both hands.

>>8031
Thanks a ton. That makes me happy.

>>8032
I improved a paragraph with the intention of having that change be there before posting it but it seems the change didn't go through somehow.

Here's the version I somehow didn't post which makes me wonder if some other part is also wrong but it doesn't seem so:

>"Oh, my childe was a little rebel at first, you see. She even ran away from home. Then one day, I wake up to news about a child, savagely murdered. And guess who shows up on my doorstep the very next evening. Askin' her mama to take her back, which I did with open wings," her sire had sing-songed out.

Madoka savored the blood by rolling it around her mouth with her tongue and moaned through a closed mouth her bliss. She inhaled so much her lungs became balloons before she released it all. She felt dizzy but in pleased way. With her eyes closed, she danced down the cobblestone streets of Unithaf, the capital city of Vale with drunk movements. Each of her steps cross the previous one. Her path slithered like a snake as she leaned one way before abruptly steered herself the other just to keep herself onto the pavement.

"Hmmmmmph! Iee!" she said through a closed mouth before she smacked her lips loudly. "Ohh-grh"

Her moan turned into a growl and a perverted grin stretched out her features.

The streets went downhill from here, not that she could see the bottom as fog made the lower streets seem to be situated next to some sort of giant spider burrow. The sun only shot a few rays over the horizon-trench, which painted the top floors of tall buildings in an orange hue. It was bright enough for the streetlights to all shut down in an automated fashion.

Madoka loved how Alpawnse's blood was so yummy. Alchemical Romance was such a nice store. Madoka wasn't sure what the ancient one, Jeanette, made her blood-servants do to make their blood like this. Madoka had seen how human drunkards walked and the similarity between her gait and theirs wasn't lost on her.

Madoka figured that their blood's exquisite taste must come from some sort of mixture between diet, hydration, health, age, sex, blood type, and blood sugar levels in the human specimen. It was an art and Jeanette had perfected it over her hundreds of years of living. Madoka even had to book her appointment ahead of time as blood tasted differently depending on how far away the human's last meal had been.

She knew the list of things to improve a human's blood's taste mattered to her at least and most of the other vampires she had spoken to on the subject seemed to agreed. For example, she could barely drink blood of the zero type and it seemed most other vampire, along with her, disliked blood from an old person. Passed fifty, she preferred sink her fangs into someone else neck.

She felt disoriented but euphoric at the same time. She needed to get home to her nest before she accidentally encountered any hunters in this state. She would be easy prey for them right now.

So... Where was she?

She looked around before she found a pole with sign on it. She swaggered over to it and peered up. It read, "From Dust Till Dawn," and pointed downhill.

That told Madoka... Nothing.

"Tch."

Maybe, the cashier can give me directions.

She--//-- I abruptly stop here.
I had a nightmare that, while not directly, inspired a story. Then, I realized, "Hey, it's Halloween we don't really celebrate it here soon. Could change it to pony and post on the board." So while this might be discontinued, I might write that story to the main board. We'll see.

Viewer descresion adviced: Spoiler is my ideas for a comming story I intent to write for the board.
You can choose to read it but then you probably be spoiled if you intent to read that story later if it happens. But it's up to you.
I also don't care for grammar here or even speeling so spoiler is just ideas and nothing more.


So Anonymous grew up as the son of Twilight Sparkle in this story. (Maybe he arrived as Anonfilly and eventually he convinced Twilight that he indeed was a being called a human and she transformed him back into his original body.)

The point with this story is that due to Anon's incredible charm, which we establish early in the story, he charms "the pone-thing" after the establishing prologue for all this relationships while it's disguised as some random pony. He defends "the pone-thing"'s right to exist, it's like some hidden facility he learns of it or whatever. And it proceeds to become every single pony he interacts with from there on which later on is the reveal. There should be tells in these scenes that tell the reader that this is the case, probably pretty obvious ones too, but it shouldn't be revealed yet before the very end.

One tell is that he is visting some ponies that are like three in the family and he only ever encounters one of them. The thing mimics their voice and walks partly behinda door to extenda limb far back before it turns into a mout that shouts the mimic voice a conversation.

One of his friends that always has like smell candles doesn't use htem and more because they are afraid of fire.

There is less and less ponies around until he is running through the streets of Canterlot on an evening on their mainstreets. (maybe he lives on the farm with AJ as gf so he belives some ridiciousl story of excuse by the thing-twi.)

MAybe the end is that he runs to Princess Celestia and tells her that he believes the thing has killed and replaced everyone but then is Celestia even princess now, yes cuz I dont car for twi princess. Anyway, she slowly reveals her to be the thing to and then goes I ate your friends brain so tI can be any of your friends. But while I cant place it it feels very cliche. Perhaps

Perhaps a more eerie conclusion to the story wouldbe to have him not even realize what is happening but the read those an it ends with him taking a nape while winona the dog sleeps on his chest and then it ends on her licking her lips with a grin or something.

Wait, the thing is gonna eat anon now after all this effort, remind me to catch a dunesprace only to release it afterwards.

Maybe its how she enjoys doing things. Or maybe-

Regardless, I like the idea that Anon doesn't realize (the pone-thing, tpt) is doing this and.

Perhaps tpt doesn't get AJ much at all, perhaps AJ is drunk on cider and tpt cant handle cider as well as Aj or something so when she drinks it she cant roleplay as AJ well so she just says "yall yall yall" on repeat.

"Ha ha ha, I love your southern drawl. So quaint!" .t Anon.

I like the idea that Anon and AJ would have a kid together like a foal but would that jjust be another anonfilyl aslo feel like it would be almost too dark wierdly enough. Like it's okay to kill everyone he loves and so on but killing his child nad wearing her face that's where I draw the line, like whats up with me but I kinda feel like thats how I feel ithink

More tells...hmm....

Doesnt like fire
Takes time to go through the memories of the vicim so it has a hard time to rp its victims early after consuming them
Personality that controls a another character shines through despite having to rp that chararter. So Since tpt likes Anon, ponies like harshwhinny that thinks Anon is annoying due to his sloppiness or something start to act kindly towards him and maybe even apologize and berate herself, "I cant imagine your merciful for not just killing me on the spot for my disgusting ways" hashwinney said Anon scratch his neck, "Yeah, I wouldnt go that far. I am a bit of a lazy ass so its kidna fair." "But I was still sucha vile g´cunt speaking of wich if there is any way to repay you for this thats not of the table " ha ha so original

But yeah this is a good idea that the main struggle for the thing is genuinely roleplay the characters it takes over since it likes anon and wnats to in the moment be liked by ANon wait

What if Twilight talks to him and since tpt noticed that Anon notice that her latest characters had been- -wait

if winona licks her mouth is that a double entenders in this context since it could mean she inteds to eat him but asl o some more lewd. haha thats pretty good toh

but back to the before- -notice character been off and so she starts to play them more acurately and then play Twi who is Anons mom and does act like a nagging mom to him and then Anon in return gets mad andtells the thing that he is soon thrity, or grown ass man, and that she needs to stop and since he is actually talking to the thing she will weridly back off because she doesn't want Anon to shout at her. haha

Perhaps instead of Aj he is with Rarity and he has to totally go through a huge rigamarole with like rose petals and taking her out on a resturant and all that to get to sex her despite them being together but then the thing wants to have sex with him immidately so maybe I can do something with the role reversal or something.

Wait, he dates Rarity but Twilight acts as his mom? Kinky. ha ha ha Im just too good

>>8040
Btw, that last img, yeah I deleted that from my pc. It creeps me out.

>>8040
Yh, I feel too much emotional resistance towards the idea of continuing this. Perhaps, I'll finish this idea in time for Halloween, perhaps not. But right now, I wanna focus on smaller things, like writing excerpts and also, writing more of those brainstorming episodes were I plan or come up with ideas for, a story. So it wasn't a waste, I discovered that I kinda like making up ideas for things and writing them down like this.

--------------------------------------------------------

I'm gonna use spoilers as comments. Here I'll detail what my intentions were with what I write. It will be highly irregular thing but maybe it will be useful.

So first one: I wanted to incorporate summaries into my writing more because while "show don't tell" is a rule that I got drilled into my head years ago when I first started doing this from internet gurus, I have come to think that telling has it's place in fiction. So, while I'll keep my "showing" style writing, I'll speed certain sections of the story up that I find not as interesting to show the more interesting parts instead. I think this is referred to as pacing.

>>8038

Madoka had gotten directions from the grey hair man with a workshop apron handling the dust store in the early hours. She followed them as best as she could in her state. As she had passed hunters' weapon store, not intentionally mind you, and once she realized what kind of store was to her right, she was in a real hurry to leave. That's why she jumped when a stranger put their hand on her shoulder. The red hooded stranger, who introduced themselves as Ruby Rose, asked if she needed help. After some hesitation on Madoka's part, a grin appeared on this Ruby Rose's pearly white face. She was black haired, short with silver eyes. The sized calmed Madoka down somewhat. She couldn't be huntress. She was just some teenager. Then again...

Ruby as it turned out, had seen the way she carried herself or rather how she did not and wanted to help. She was surprised to see someone her own age drunk and wasn't a fan. Telling her something about how drinking wasn't "cool" at all and that due to her uncle, or whatever, she had seen what damage alcohol could do.

Madoka only further agitated the girl by giggling at her speech. Madoka just found the line, "Drinking isn't cool despite what other girls our age might claim." Specifically, she found the phrase, "our age," to be quite funny being almost a half-millennia and all.

However, Ruby pouted and threaten to leave her to her fate so that she might learn not to redo it. She quickly went back on that though as leaving someone young, drunk, lost in Unithaf was something she simply couldn't abide by anyway.

Ruby had grabbed Madoka's hand and lead her away from the store. Madoka had giggled and made a sarcastic comment: "My hero." Ruby had ignored her and had looked ahead with a determined if a bit deadpanned look on her face. This only invigorated Madoka's teasing.

But Madoka had never really had much of a sadistic streak and while much had changed since her un-death, she still preferred to make friends by being kind so the teasing ceased. After a long pause, their conversation took on friendlier and lighter tone if a bit languid in its pacing. It had begun after Madoka had thanked her for her help. Because despite it all, Ruby had in fact been a big help. Madoka didn't know her way around Unithaf, having had her nest for almost two-hundr... Maybe it was less than that but yeah, years in Kuroyuri. She just wasn't used to navigate unknown streets anymore.

Welp, this kinda became some sort of middle thing between summarizing events for sake of pacing and describing a scene.

>>8042
The pair sat on a park bench. Madoka could still eat ice cream as a vampire but over the years her taste had diminished to the point that she couldn't tell the different flavors of the three different colored balls in her cone. She assumed the pink one was strawberry while the green was pear and the brown was chocolate, however they all taste the same intensity of sweet to her. Human food was nothing next to their blood. She had discovered this lately, having spent a lot of time with Ruby since she meet her, three days ago, this weekend. During this time a desire, which she hadn't ever felt the need to indulged in before, had risen.

It started on the day they meet. The fact that Ruby followed her home to make sure she made it there on a random morning was proof enough that she was a good person. On the next day, Saturday she had arrived at Madoka's doorstep at noon. Apparently, her family was just visiting Unithaf and her big sister, Yang had left for something and so had her dad, leaving her alone with her drunk Uncle. However, consider they had a good time yesterday Ruby had left a note that she was going out, as he had a hangover at the time, and had come to visit her. That's when she learned about her interest in all things hunters, with a particular interest in weapon-smithing. Madoka realized then, that this one would be quite the competent huntress if she let her become one. The next day Madoka had invited Ruby over herself. This time her sister had chaperoned her there and invited herself into Madoka's apartment. Madoka had to pretend to be the age she looked and told them that her parents paid for the apartment while she studied here in Unithaf. She told them she was seventeen only to get away with how she had been "drunk" first time Ruby and she had meet. Yang was a tall blonde that while nice Madoka could sense be quite confrontational. Yang had stayed the whole day with them to Madoka's dismay while she hadn't shown it. It seemed that not only had Madoka passed the scary-man-looking-to-kidnap-her-sister test or whatever, but apparently Yang had grown to like her as well. Yang had left with the proclamation that there were no danger in Ruby spending time with her. While Madoka agreed that she wouldn't harm Ruby, she knew they wouldn't agree if they only knew. This day, Ruby had arrived apologizing on her sister's behalf since she had been preoccupied. Ruby had told her that this would be the last day they could meet since they would move home to Patch soon, though she'd like to keep in contact through letters and such.

Part of me wants to switch out the vampire stuff with witch stuff and say that humans/faunas that haven't had their aura released kinda go through another type of transformation that invert their aura, like aura, a force field, inverted into a inside-out sock, kinda. The idea is that they do magic but pay by needing to refill on souls like the vampires need blood and such but I haven't decided yet.

Well, this put pressure on Madoka to decide on what to do quickly. She wanted to take her but should she? She needed to know more.

"Ruby, what would you do if you had eternal life?" Madoka asked weakly while looking away with her gaze directed down the street.

"Hmm?" Ruby mumbled with a mouth filled with ice cream. She chewed, swallowed, winch to a little bit of brain-freeze before she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "Ehh, well that came out of nowhere. What's this about, 'Doka?"

Part of Madoka wanted to play it off as just a silly question but she didn't. This was the question.

"Just answer." She still looked away from Ruby.

"Well, I don't know. Probably, what I'd do anyway. Why do wanna know so much?" she asked sounding a bit agitated at the end.

Madoka looked forward and nodded slowly as if tasting the answer.

"I think that's... Yeah. I like that answer. I like that answer a lot." She paused. "Okay."

Madoka pushed the bottom point of the ice-cream cone in between one of the cracks of the boards in the park bench, making it to stay upright there before she lifted her rump and scuttled closer.

// Alt. 1
She turned around with her head bent forward so that her pink hair obscured her face. She placed both her hands on top of Ruby's nearest leg. She didn't grabbed the leg just touching Ruby as to keep her sort of anchored there. Behind her curtain of hair, she felt how her fangs protruded out under her upper lip.

"Ruby... I... I think I want to share eternity with you," Madoka said, she then pulled her hair way with her right hand and pulled her gaze up to meet Ruby's.

The first facial expression Madoka saw was the one that she'd thought Ruby had worn when she spoke, a puzzled look, it was quickly replaced as Ruby's eyes zeroed in on her fangs. She slowly but certainty started to tremble. She seem to slowly realize what position she had found herself in but she seem almost unable to fathom it. She broke the eye contact to look around her but to no avail. There was nobody in sight, something Madoka had made sure to checked before asking her question. The place was also secluded.

...

// Alt. 2

Madoka bit herself in the tongue. Blood poured down from the corner of her lip. She forcefully kissed Ruby. Ruby began to convulse in the next moment. Only one drop of vampire blood was enough to transform a human.

>>8048
Carry on, you're doing well.
But while reading, when I first saw image one my brain went into meme-mode, inserting a <to be continued and applying all sorts of context where the red chick lept away from the main group and "this" is the cameraman's last photo

The main reason I'm so adamant about being a writer is my vivid imagination. Maybe I'm not rare in this and most people do something similar but I have impromptu imagination session were I get lost in my own head, watching scenes I make up on the fly. However, usually these scenes are not the ones that I write down because of some reason I can't put my finger on. They, imo, are better than what I usually write but I never write them. While I'm not saying that if I did, I blow everybody out the waters, I do want to remedy this.

This is an attempt of writing down the key points of such a session that I had today.

So not sure what I will go through first with my idea and so I'll just tell it in a random order.

There are two main characters Lynn and Ween. Lynn is from a low-income family while Ween's dad is the CEO of an industry in Johto that makes the majority of the pokéballs in that region but also in Kanto. Yeah, this is set in pokémon, its highly inspired by another fanfic on fanfiction dot net called, "Clear Skies Ahead," I think. (No, it was called, "Clear Skies Above," https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12594149/1/Clear-Skies-Above ).

I like the basis of the story but felt that one, the interesting conflict between Lyn and Blaze or whatever his name was, it was sometime ago I read it, wasn't as nuanced as it need to be. I feel like, if you want one side to be the hero, don't set up the other as a main character option. This is not a hard rule mind you, just if you do, you probably want to be careful with the implementation.

Lyn, while capable, actually comes off as a aloof and arrogant, imo. Almost Mary sue-ish in that, while a bit earned cause she, unlike other Mary sues, wins her battles by actually using her wits.

The story focuses a lot on bringing in rich characters and presenting them as pompous and arrogant but also incompetent. I'm sure you can imagine, as this is not new in fiction.

While I don't know if this was the writer setting up some interesting twist where he addresses the fact that Lyn herself is, in fact not perfect and also make our rich boy Raze or Blaze or whatever, heh heh, I was close. His name is Faze. But anyway, make our rich boy one show that, he is not an ass despite being rich, crazy stuff, and/or that money can actually buy you stuff like education which probably will make you not incompetent.

That last part is a bit addressed in the story though since there is like different ways of becoming an official trainer and some rich folks sign up for one that basically is worse than the more public version because these ones just tricks them off their money, apparently.

And I feel like here we come to my main problem that I have with this story that I otherwise enjoy, Lyn is the one who explains this to us when she is talking to one of these rich boys. She basically states that; while having no reason to know any of this outside of having been told by someone else that this is how it is, that this rich boy, not Faze this time though; that he is being tricked off his money because he can't hack it in the public sector.

This makes me not like her character because the story essentially then proves her right. Why? How does she know this? I mean, I know there are charlatans out there, so I wouldn't be against this being the reality in the story but that fact that she knows this pisses me off to the point that I wish that the rich snobs would enslave all of these fucks who think chicken nuggies classify as dinner.

And so, why even make your rival/villain-kinda sympathetic if he is just gonna be a punching bag? To be fair, there were some nuance here and there, considering the scene with Whitney and the story was discontinued so there is a very real possibility that, Lyn's worldview would be challenged and that Faze would get some love, but it is what it is.

The second problem is that there are too many subplots in the story. To some degree this makes the world feel lived in, on the other hand, they seem somewhat disconnected from everything else. Like Lyn hates her dad and there is some family drama there but it's not clear how that effects her. Is this why she's such a sauerkraut all the time? I don't know. Despite this she has a lot of people that seem to like her. And there is this subplot with her sister and her being an e-celeb streamer. Is this a shout out? Maybe I'll catch her bathtub steam later but otherwise, who cares? It has no real impact, imo, on the rest of the story. I guess the last chapter has her beating a guy in battle on stream so maybe that would go somewhere.

So I feel like these things would be cut since they don't tie into the core of what this story is about.

And to me the story is about two things. The pokémon setting has always been torn in two direction, it's both competitive with all its battles but there is also the pet aspect as you take care and love your pet, in this case pokémon. I felt if it would be interesting if Lyn was still an exceptional trainer, for battling, but didn't lacked the skills needed to show others, humans or pokémon the love and care they needed. While not abusive, she sees her pokémon more as a means to and end, in her case, fame and fortune. She dislikes rich people more due to jealousy than anything else. She copes with the idea that she's better than them because she will get it through hard work not just be gifted it.

In all of this, she still has a family and friends that love her, maybe I'll keep the conflict with her dad but even in the original she was liked by most of the characters she knew but she doesn't really doesn't really realize or value that as much as she should.

Ween should be the opposite. As trainer she gives her pokémon love and attention but she sucks at battling. She is rich but her family is distant and she has no friends.

>>8051
A bit of tangent here but I like the idea that Ween has given her pokémon nicknames, which you can do in the games and usually is done in nuzlockes, to make you bond with them a bit more so when they die it hurts more, yeah, something Lyn hasn't done. While the main story will be different, the first chapter or scene where Lyn and Faze meet for the first time will be similar just that I'll replace Faze with my OC Ween. There she will also be forced to use her strongest pokémon she got because she's rich, it's hard without explaining the context, regardless this one she has no nickname for yet, so it's just called by it's name, "Heracross." The point is that our girl Ween has gone out of her way to find someone who can teach it falseswipe before she got here. A move, that in the games will always leave the attacked pokémon at at least one health point. This is beause she realized that if she used it's more signature move megahorn she could actually kill another trainers pokémon in this setting. This shows how she cares about others and their pokémon.

>>8049
Hehe, yh I can see the potential.

Thanks for reading it means a lot to me.

>>8053
Anytime fren!

>>8054
^^

>>8048
This is the inspiration for the area of blood ingestion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gjZLMQIM4k
Specific timestamp: 13:36

Hmm, the only image I found depicting a vampire drinking from the inner thigh was very gay. Probably drawn by a woman since they like that stuff. At first, I included that, and I think I did that because I think that is interesting that they enjoy such drawings. But it's not really necessary. Just imagine a skinny dude leaving hickies along another dude's inner thigh, also anime, and now you know.
----------------------------------

Ruby's head lay between Madoka's thighs. Her cheeks flushed as they brushed against Madoka's velvet, pink-hued white panties. She shut her eyes almost as if on the verge of tears.

Ruby then felt a small tingling in her canines that since her embrace had gotten razor sharp. The tingling increased into something akin to an itch, that's when she felt them protrude both forward and down. Suddenly, they were fangs like that of a snake but thicker and curving inwards.

She panted against the thigh in front of her. Somehow she could sense the blood thump without hearing it and know where the fattest arteries where without seeing them. She lost herself for a moment as she hyper focused on the flesh before her. She shook her head and swallowed down her saliva. She looked up at Dame.

Madoka's pointer finger rested on her lower lip as she watched Ruby with half-lidded eyes. She gestured at her leg with that hand.

"Go ahead, my child," she said.

Ruby almost looked disappointed to be allowed to indulged in her desires. It didn't last. As she turned her gaze back to towards the leg, she took three rapid sniffs. She let out some more throaty pants as her mouth hung open and her tongue numbly fell out of it.

In her mind, she decided to do it but despite having never done it before, she inched closer in a smooth motion. She dragged her tongue in circle over a small patch of skin, moved her lower teeth next to it before collapsing her open mouth. She had intended to lower her fangs in controlled manner but her bite was more akin to that of a set-off bear trap.TL: Male bears pretending to be female. Heh. Heh. Heh, good one. ^^ Sorry, I couldn't stop myself, which is on par with theme of this story.

Madoka sat up and metaphorically crushed Ruby's head between her thighs. Madoka whined in pain as she grimaced.

Ruby's belly excused its owner's transgression with a rumble.

"Aww. I hope it's yummy. I ate like the humans I enjoy the most just for you," Madoka said in a loving tone.

Ruby's head bobbed back and forth as if she was pumping the blood out. It was something similar. She could only suck for so long before she need to take break, causing her to go from being glued to Madoka's body to pulling back but with her fangs still buried in her flesh.

In her feasting, she didn't register the small, soft fingers diving into her hair and caress her scalp.

As Madoka petted her pet, she wore a gentle smile but one could see that she strained herself to pull it off.

"Ahh-mmh, happy. You have mama's teeth. Hee hee... Ahh..." Madoka groaned out.

>>8058
"Ruby, please come ba-" Madoka began but was cut off.

"No." Ruby said harshly.

Madoka felt frustration bubble up in her chest but she exhaled and forced herself to calm down. Ruby had agreed to meet her again after she'd ran away from home.

She thought back to her own sire, four-hundred-eighty-seven years ago, or was it four-hundred-seventy-eight? She had listened to her Sire then, hadn't she? Maybe not, she remembered them fighting, but she didn't leave the nest for about a century. But then again, when they broke apart, they did so on bad terms as that was also the last time they had seen each other. Madoka knew where she lived and she probably knew where Madoka lived. They had both, silently, agreed to put continents between each other.

Madoka remembered her and Ruby's last conversation. How it had ended with her pulling rank. Telling Ruby that she had a half-millennia of life experiences and that she knew best. She still felt that way. Of course, she was right, however, Ruby wanted reasons and now that Madoka thought about it that made sense...

Ruby could only trust the things she could see and seeing in this case included things like the logic behind her actions and she also couldn't see Madoka's long history, since she didn't know it, only that it existed.

She knew what she wanted to say now because she knew what she feared: That Ruby and she would fallout as she and her old Sire had. Should she tell her this fear or would Ruby use it as leverage going forward?

"Tch," Ruby clicked with her tongue and turned around before sitting up on the brick railing of the building's roof. "You wanted to talk. Talk."

They were high up and if Ruby hadn't been a vampire, Madoka would have worried about where her child sat but heights like these ceased to be dangerous when one had their aura released, especially for vampires.

A breeze carried one of her pink pigtail over her face and Madoka pulled it away but didn't release it and instead started to twiddled it between her fingers. She sat on a chimney so her knees were level with Ruby's face but there was about a dinner table's length in distance between them. Her head hung forward as she decided to peer up at Ruby.

Ruby was usually sunshine and rainbows but she could have a cold edge to her when something or someone had hurt her.

"I'm sorry," Madoka started with what she felt was most important.

"Okay. Of what? That you turned me into a monster or because you work with monsters," Ruby exclaimed in a rapid and violent stream of words.

Madoka balled her left hand into a fist and squeezed her thumb as her mouth stretched outwards but remained a thin, horizontal line. But then she recovered and spoke with a steady voice.

"You don't- It's how the underworld works." Madoka sighed as her face displayed despondent sorrow. "We have very few allies and I... I can't risk your safety over... Others."

"Babies. They had babies in the backroom. They..." Ruby hugged herself as she looked like she was about to topple over. Madoka jumped off her chimney but Ruby had already leaned back by then. Her fangs protruded out and her pupils compressed into slits. Then a look of horror crossed her face. She looked up at Madoka.

"Did you..?" Ruby asked.

"Me?" Madoka gestured with both hands towards her chest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------/
<---To be continued maybe but you know how it is.|
----------------------------------------------------------------------\

>Be Anonfilly.
>You pass some brushes and suddenly, you're greeted by the splendid sight of a rundown but massive castle.
>You're in a deadly forest with nothing but trees as far as you have traveled, what's this?
>You fall on your rump.
>You're exhausted to the point that moving your limbs felt as if you swam through clay, yet you felt euphoric energy pulling at you, causing you to jump up on your hooves to do a little scoot, all acute, shoot your censored, on her snoot.
>From all the craziness you have encounter so far since arriving in this world and being re-borned into the body of queer looking equine, any form of shelter and potential protection from both the wind and creatures that lurked forest was beyond welcomed at this point.
>At this point, you'd sell this filly body for food and warm, safe (the predators had made your priorities safety above all else) bed to snuggle in.
>You been here for about a month if you're math was correct.
>Keeping track of that while escaping a murder of faggots or whatever the correct terminology was for the pack of wooden wolves roaming the forest was, hiding from a manticore in a hollowI have never seen this in real life but they exist in all the movies. log buried under the form of said beast, using your quick wits to avoid petrification by a tiny amalgamation of lizard-people mixed with kfc chicken through threatening their live in order to have them return your, back then, stoned limbs into flesh again,
<---discontinued.

Apparently I can't both send an oekaki drawing and file its one or the other, which is fine. Here's the images I intended to include as well tho.

She rolled out, swung on her heel, and fired off two blasts in the direction she came from.

----

With each step of her hooves, Velvet swayed her rear. Her pussy peeked out sometimes between her tail and ass cheeks. It was bent upwards like some kinda pocket and it's lips parted like it spoke.

------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so to become a substance writer, first of we need to define what it is. Substance writer to me is a writer that understands that they have limited time and in their view, what is important is the substance not presentation aka the writing. There are obviously things in between these states, however, the point that substance is what people read a story for so on some level thinking about the story and how to write it.

Yeah, this definition sucks. Hm, a substance writer focuses their limited time to create the ideas for the story while just keeping the bare minimum in quality for the presentation or the writing of the story.

As you can figure, I came up with the concept of a substance writer and it is what I desire to be. I wish to focus mostly on what I write not how I do it.

So let's first establish what the bare minimum in writing is like while still keeping the substance. First off, descriptions should be simple and straight forward. For example, it's perfectly fine to list off the articles of clothing a character wears instead of incorporating actions along with description of an clothing article. Here's an example of what I mean:

Fancy:
The azure feather in her sun hat bobbed up and down as she danced.
Easy:
She wore a sun hat with a azure feather in it.

Another way to make writing less of a headache to is to ignore the rule: "Don't use to-be verbs." Example:

Fancy:
She kneaded her knuckles while keeping her arms glued to her body.
Easy:
She was freezing.

Use more summaries. You have planned scenes that you like and have thought out. Jump from one to the other by summing up the content between them, instead of using implication of time. Example:

Fancy:
In the sink, a big fluffy cloud of foam lay sputtering while gleaming-clean dishes filled the rack.
Easy:
They had finished the dishes.

Obviously, I can still do this and I kinda wanna do this but the problem is that doing both distracts me from where I'm taking a story and kinda make me focus my attention on the trees rather than the forest.

>>8082
Actually, I just re-posted that Ikigai img since I recently saw it when I was digging around on /ub/. I haven't digested it yet, so I don't know what I think, then again, why do I feel the need to clarify? Am I a celebrity that with droves of fans hanging on my every word? No. So idk.

>>8083
>I haven't digested it yet, so I don't know what I think
Agreed, it's an interesting conceptualization that one really will have to sit down and make personalized lists and apply specific values to the fields. Thought provoking, thats for sure.

"'There's nothing to fear,' they said and then laughed at him for feeling insecure."

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Vampire bites.

Vampire is chased.

Vampire caught up to and fought.

Yang recognize Ruby as the vampire.

Ruby dove into the man's neck. Her fangs burrowed like a worm in soft earth into the man's skin.

She sucked up the blood through her fangs, however, they weren't pipes. She sucked up the blood through her mouth. The backside of her fangs had thin runnels so when she sucked, the blood squirt out on her tongue.

The man yelled, at first, but then the noise coming out of his mouth turned strained. He brought up a hand to his forehead. The world spun before him but it didn't hurt. It felt pleasant, like falling asleep in warm car while it drives through none-stop fog.

"Let go of him!" a feminine voice boomed from above.

There was something in the booming of the voice, like the scratch of a record player, that Ruby picked up on but didn't know what to make of.

With a plop, Ruby pulled away from the neck of her prey. On the gas station's rooftop stood a redhead, she wore a white blouse and a green skirt, however, despite this she held a sword. The sword seem intricately mechanical.

Is she a huntress? Probably, a huntress-in-training, Ruby thought. Is she alone? Then I should... Scare her off.

Ruby sent the freckled newcomer a glare. Dull pieces of red flickered to, around her and the rays of nearby windows and streetlamps were ripped apart by dark hands with erratic hairs. It sounded as if she had open a gate to a world where snoring giant lay but it was really just Ruby's stomach growling for blood.

Ruby could feel a hand of ice grab her heart as she couldn't sense any fear from her opponent. Usually, her intimidation tactic worked.

She forced herself to meet the other's gaze. Not good. Neither was Ruby's reaction as she flinched upon seeing those determined eyes.

Is she that tough?

There was something else disturbing Ruby with this one. She realized there was something missing to her that was always present when she was near humans: There pulse.

She took a gamble and close her eyes even before her opponent. She listened intently but could not detect anything. Not a single thump.

Her mouth was open and she blinked a few times.

"Who are you? You have no heart?" Ruby asked and fixed the ginger with a discerning look.

This time, the girl reacted with fear, Ruby saw it one her face, but no accompanying rapid footfalls of the heart.

She flipped backwards and landed with a slide. As boots grind against the roof, Ruby went almost down on one knee to ease the impact of her jump on her joints. She slide so far that the roof's ledge tripped her over it as her calf smacked into it. But she was ready for it. As her body rotated around the ledge on her away down the building, her crumbled into piece like some too dry baked goods. Each piece, a bat that took flight with a tiny skree. The sound of a hundred belts being whipped against bottoms erupted from where she previously had been one, instead of the spread out consciousness she was now. All of a sudden, she saw the building from multiple perspectives at the same time. It was a strange experience. She had a much wider range of sight with all the extra eyes and objects became see-through-able, similar to how covering one eye enables you to "see through" it. Yet, it was hard to focus her attention on one thing. She had to turn all of her bat selves to look at one specific point at the same time. In fact, it was impossible which is why she almost tried to ignore the other bat visions she got. Regardless, she couldn't this passed five minutes before getting a ramping migraine.

-----

Vampire powers. What powers do Madoka have and which do Ruby inherit? Do they change when transferred to Ruby since she is different, or rather do they express themselves in different way?

What is interesting? Well, I like the idea that since her semblance in the show is speed and turning into a cloud of rose petals that she'd keep that but turn does rose petals into tiny bats. Maybe it could be just darkness as well. Point is that she is fast.

Is that the key? Since this universe has semblances, individual superpowers, that I'd adapt their powers to simply be edgier version of them?

I like the idea of having the embrace be somewhat connected to the release of one's soul as we see done in the series. So you release people souls and them they manifest their aura. Aura is basically a body-slim-fit force-field that empowers and protect it's owner. So the idea is that there's an inversion of the aura or a different manifestation of the soul.

I like the idea that people who had their soul released in some manner can no longer change from whatever state their soul is now in. A vampire cannot embrace a huntress for example since they have released souls. Their type of soul manifestation has already been done. It can no longer be changed sort of deal.

I also thought that maybe it would be better to call them witches. hmmm.

Also madoka's powers would be more motherly like her witch form kinda is in her show. hmm

Also, Ruby's power could be a murder of crows since that a pretty cool name for a flock of birbs.

----------------------------------

She stood in the shadowed alleyway, which darkness she had empowered to the point of blackness. She watched three out of four members of the team BXPS. "The girl with no pulse," as Ruby had decided to call her wasn't with them. The white one knelt before the drained body of her victim. Her hand on the man's, now ghost pale, neck with the only exception of pair pinpricks of red.

"He's dead," the white one said while trying to keep her breathing steady.

"Can you tell he died recent-" asked the black one before she was cut off by the crunch metal and a pained yell.

"Arrrrgh! Again and again, he gets away with it!" Yang kick the sole of her feet so hard into a nearby trashcan that it buckled in on itself and both the lid and its garbage flew out as if fire by canon. "Why are we always too late?"

The white one waved her hand in a circle and a glyph formed in the air above the party; like a parasol, it protected them from the rain of filth and trash from the smashed trashcan.

The white one turned and glared at the yello... Her sister Yang Xiao Long.

"So what? It's my fault now? Oh, I'm sorry. 'I shouldn't have figured out his feeding pattern in the first place,' is that what you want to hear?" The white one asked in a sarcastic and frustrated voice.

Yang looked up into the cloudy night sky while baring her whites.

"No. Of course not. I'm just so tired of this."

"So am I but what can I do? I'm trying." The white one stomped her foot and threw her arms downwards.

Yang pulled her face closer to her.

"I'm not putting this on you-"

"Okay! That's enough! Break up. Break up," said the black one as she moved in between them gently pushed them apart with her hands.

They separated but not without giving each other a glare before turning their backs on each other.

The black one put a hand to her chest and took a deep breath.

Then she randomly looked around and her gaze froze upon noticing Ruby in the dark.

Wait, you see me? How? Ruby thought as her eyes widen.

The black one squinted at her. Ruby quickly brought up a hand to cover he bloodied chin and mouth but too late. The black one took a step back as kept her eyes fixed on Ruby but she slapped Yang to grab her attention.

"What, Blake?" asked Yang, still in a sour tone but her anger deflated as she noticed the frighten expression on her teammate.

>>8093
This reminds me of the rule to imagine myself in the scenes in the shoes of the characters. So let's do just that. How do I imagine that I would feel and think and behave if I was:
Weiss: She is a bit of a perfectionist so if I imagine myself when I feel like I have failed but in this context it's not actually a big deal. I would be frustrated at myself and others and want some way to change so I don't make whatever mistake again sort of deal.
Blake: Has strong opinions but is quiet and can be troubled with confrontations. So... She understands since she is engaged in this trouble through white fang. She feels a lot of responsibility so she's kinda perfectionist too but not applied in the same manner. One is more directed towards upholding and image while the other is more about stopping people who are doing the same mistakes she did. She feels like she's the only one who can or should fix? How would I feel? I made a mistake and now there's a group of people doing the same mistake. Would I feel obligated to fix it?
Maybe, if it's an ideological view that was the mistake, I'd know how these people think and I know better than anyone how to convert them away from that point of view. Hmm. Blake might be a deeper character than I gave credit for, not that I dismissed her though.
Yang: Her view depends on whether or not Ruby was taken by vampires or not, like she has heard that is not what actually happened. Or, could there be an alternative? That she, due to all the misery she seen, has gotten a bit of a hero complex, sort of? How would I react to the world if, I had short-temper and all my family members, essentially, had died do to monsters and I was capable of fight those monsters?
She's young so she hides her weaknesses also known as insecure? Maybe she identify with the avenger trope in fiction or perhaps she finds the idea of comparing this real pain to fiction disgusting. Kinda, like you're not taking it seriously. Perhaps she's more mature due to having faced such hardships?
How would I feel?
Angry at the world (or, rather God) for punishing me when I haven't even done anything wrong that warranted this. I would hate myself for not telling them things. Things that I will come up with as time moves on. That I imagine would have change something or that I imagine would be
Ruby:
Here.
----------------------------
Anyway, Only Blake can see Ruby in the darkness of the shadow since faunas has darkvision.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cuz I gotta small waist, pretty face, and a big bank.~ Played the radio as Twilight Velvet, the mother and milf of Twiggles.

Velvet was recording a vid for you, Anonymous, and so with each lyric she mouthed along to, she did a dance move. For the first line, she stood up on her hind legs and put her free hooves next to her toned stomach. She fell back on all fours before the next lyric and to that she moved her head forward so that her face was the only thing in frame and scrunched her muzzle dumbly and cutely, aka, derpily. Next she swung around one-hundred-and-eighty degrees as if her rear was a bat and she was swinging for the home run. She kept her tail, that looked so soft it lived up to her namesake of velvet, and moved it into her ass crack, between the two mounds of flesh, as if it were a tong. She swayed them one way and then the next. As she shook her hips, her rump cheeks lagged behind till they came to apex of the swing were they overextended in that direction before swinging back again. These fellas were heavy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Heracross," Kryz murmured and lightly tapped the side of one of the six pokéballs fasten around her belt.

It exploded as a beam white light poured onto the battlefield from it. Eventually the light subsided and out from this shower of light stood a human-sized, if that human was a professional basketball player, blue bug, standing on it's back legs and with giant horn protruding out of its head, giving it some extra few feet in height. It had four limbs and its body looked like it was encapsulated in an exoskeleton, cylindrical shell that wasn't hard to imagine was hard as old full plate armor.

Kryz hovered her hand above its head and the big blue bug moved into the hand and used it to caress it's hard scalp. The two door sized shields that covered it's transparent insect wings moved out of the way and the bug buzzed those wings so fast they became a blur. It gave a off a content bizzz and used it's claws on its feet to clutch the ground as not to take off and only slightly stretch toward the sky.

------------------------

Maybe Kryz relationship with heracross should be different from the kindness she shows to other pokémon or maybe not, not kind, but a different relationship with each pokémon since they are different creatures so they need to be approach in different ways?

Maybe, if she has a pseudo legendary, that one likes her the most, since she took care of it when it was pathetically weak and now it's loyal, compared to Heracross that has only one state and was strong to being with.

Another potential idea is that different pokémon types. Dragons are decribed to be hard to master due to their extreme power.

Hmmm, maybe a list?

Dark: Are selfish. (and sadistic? Probably just selfish so sadism is for poison.)"Good men die, I choose to live."
Poison: Sadistic or depression. I think depression (and corruption?!)
Dragon: Ego, but less survivalist like I imagine dark but more pride and (honor?) potentially both or a mix of them.
Ghost: Sardonic or sarcastic.
Fire: Destruction???? Anger!! yes.
Grass: Controll and slow. Patience.
Water:
Fairy: Kindhearted. Alturristic.

Btw, I'm just brainstorming and writing out scenes here and there. Don't think too much about it. I'm just Nigeling here for my own sake, to see what I can come up with. The questions in these posts are mainly asked to myself.

>>8095
Curious that you're wont to refer to basic/standard creative processes as "Nigeling". Brainstorming, Story-boarding, etc would have been as applicable and more credible

Madoka ran fast with Kyoko on her, riding piggyback style. She ran along the edge of the lake, nearing the speed of cheetah. People either jumped out of the way but most didn't. The fact that girl ran in that high speed meant they couldn't really grasp what they were seeing fast enough to dodge out of the way. Instead it was up to Madoka to use her Ukaku ghoul agility to move out of the way of the incoming obstacles.

She took a turn and sprinted into an area for outdoor dining. There were a few people eating lunch there that immediately noticed her sprinting in with incredible speed. She tipped off Kyoko's unconscious body onto an empty table. Kyoko had large gashes over her body and her clothes were soaked in blood.

Madoka inhale to the point that her chest expands like a bag-pipe before bringing her mouth next to Kyoko's. She released it all into Kyoko's waiting maw. Once she was done, she moved so she sat on her knees next to her body. She began to hum along to the song "Stayin' Alive" as she pumped Kyoko's chest along to the rhythm of that song, like she learned during her time as school nurse help.

This action did not go unnoticed by her surrounding. Some gasp, some stood up and walked over, and others just froze still not really believing this was happening. One of the people that walked up to her, was a man and other was a woman.

"Have you called, 119?" he asked before he, even had run up to her table.

Madoka thought about it for a moment but decided that there was no way to reject their help without looking suspicous. Of course, she could say that she already had called the that emergency line but then again, maybe medical help could be received if they didn't know that both her and Kyoko were ghouls. The CCG was already on her tail, what did she have to lose? Then again, perhaps if the man described their looks then the emergency line would probably be able to cross reference their appearance with the fugitives the CCG were currently chasing. Just be telling them the location would be enough for them to assume that this incident had something to do with the ghoul hunt in the area. However, it was also possible that that information hadn't reach them yet since it was still fresh out from the oven.

"No, called them!" she said back without losing focus on the melody of Stayin' Alive.

The woman that had ran up to her walked up close and scanned Kyoko's body quickly with her eyes.

"I'm a nurse. I can take over when if need be, you're doing fine honey. What happened?" asked the woman.

Again, Madoka didn't know what to tell the woman. She couldn't really tell her what happened but if this woman truly was a nurse, she wanted to utilize her knowledge to save Kyoko. She would tell her just enough for her to help her but no more than that.

"She's been slashed. And lost a lot of blood. I can't feel her pulse," Madoka said and took a deep breath ready to inflate Kyoko's lungs again.

>>8097
>Curious that you're wont to refer to basic/standard creative processes as "Nigeling".
I think I just worried that someone might feel, idk. But it is as you say and further more, I this thread is kinda for brainstorming and meandering texts.
I think I just didn't want to act like Nigel did but I think the difference here is that, this is a thread dedicated specifically for this purpose. I think I was also trying to be a bit self-deprecating, kinda of. It's hard knowing exactly why I do things.

She sat on her rump on the ledge along her feet, which caused her legs to fold to such a degree that it looked beyond uncomfortable. She moved the red candy orb of her lollipop from her left cheek to the other with her tongue. The gust of wind made her curly ginger, neck-length hair wave tiredly in the air. She looked down the chasm that lay between buildings with unimpressed half-lidded eyes.

The full moon illuminated the many clouds drifting passed it. This caused the rooftops during this evening to, sometimes light up in silver-blue light before suddenly being plunged in darkness were the street lights and the lights exiting homes through windows suddenly made themselves known yet again.

She brought down her hands to the ledge she sat on and put the palms on it and then let the fingers grip it over its edge. She flexed her arms and made then static like steel beams before leaning forward on them. She then lifted her legs and crotch up slowly. Her legs traveled around three quarters of a circle about her body and then she stood their on a skyscrapers ledge on her hands with her body arched like 'C' and legs pointing forward like a scorpion tail.

Her face grimaced as she pushed off even further, turning her body almost into an 'O' as she stretched out her crocodile-back-like abs. With closed eyes, she opened her mouth into silent 'arghh' as she felt the invisible man with rough, plate-sized hands grab her stomach muscles like dough for bread before pulling it apart.

Being tired of being here for no reason she let her lower body, that now was her upper body if you think about it, slowly guide her over the ledge with its body weight. She tipped over and fell feet first.

The sound of wind rushing passed her hit her ears. Her two layers of skirts, the outer-one was red and rigid in its shape, while the white skirt underneath was could be squashed into a ball in ones hands, both inverted themselves and flew up around her stomach. The white shirt she wore had instantly, upon feeling the rush of wind, climbed up to her armpits and the small hole that was her belly button was on full display.

Qrow closed the door behind him after he left Ruby's room. While not happy and despite everything that happened at Beacon, he was glad, even if it was bit selfish, that at least everyone he knew and cared out made it out okay. Well, Yang lost her arm but she lived, unlike many others.

Qrow scratched his stubble before dragging a hand through his short black hair and then proceeding to scratch his neck instead.

Though he realized in his bleak musings, that he wasn't being honest with himself. He had essentially sprinted through Vale in search of Ruby and in the end carried her out from a half-ruined tower. Only when he and Ruby had arrived home in Patch and it was clear the attack was over, had he started breath again and let his posture fall back into its normal slouched mode.

He fingered his metallic container in his inner pocket briefly but stopped. He made sure to walk down the squared stairway and getting some distance between him and Ruby. She didn't like that he drank so much and he didn't want to drink around her either. Part of it was because he felt shame for over his over-consumption but most of it was a fear, that while drunk his tongue would slip and he devolved secrets that he buried deeper than any of the state-secrets he sworn to never speak of.

After getting down to the next floor, he pulled up his container. Right as he was taking his victory swig, however, someone spoke.

"Heh, at least some things never change," said a familiar and friendly voice.

A blonde man with a bright smile and rough knuckles entered through an adjacent doorway. Qrow sliently chuckled at the man's comment.

He was about to continue his swig to give him some time to come up with a comeback, yeah, that was totally the reason. However, he was interrupted by the blonde man pulling him into bearhug.

It was awkward. They had been friend for almost twenty years, yet they had never hugged. Qrow didn't know what to do. But the earnestly of the hug he was receiving made him slowly embrace the man back. But why?

After a while Qrow broke off the hug.

"Okay, okay. Tai, what brought this on, you never this... Uh... It's almost like I was close to die or something. Is this your way of saying I got no skills as a Huntsman?" Qrow said with as much of a playful tone in his voice he could muster. He hated receiving affection from people, especially from Tai.

Tai smiled, took some steps up the stairs, turned around, and leaned his back onto the railing.

Qrow saw something then, something that always made his blood freeze, his friend's never ending, beaming smile falter. Qrow's eyes grew as he saw something he never seen on the man who carried his heart on his sleeves, attempting at trying to fake a smile. It came off as a strained grimace.

Tai most have seen on Qrow's face that his attempts were failing him so Tai stopped trying. The cheerful energy that was there from a moment ago, was gone. Instead there was some kind of mix between frustration and pity on his face if Qrow could read him right.

Tai crossed his arms.

A sad smile of mirth came to Tai before he spoke, "You know, I'm getting scared your gonna adopt my Ruby with all these father-daughter bonding conversation you to get up to."

Qrow felt arctic waters being pump into his heart at that sentence but he manged to smile and look Tai in the eyes.

"Yeah, well when you have taught a kid everything she knows about fighting, then it's only natural that..." Qrow said but trailed off.

It was Tai's look that made him stop. It looked... Knowing.

Qrow cursed himself for stopping so he quickly picked it up again.

"That you get attached to the little squirt. Heh heh, you know." Qrow finished and looked away as he stabilized his mood with a drink.

He feared the worst. He fear what Tai's next words were gonna be but what he hadn't realized was that nothing was way more horrific than something. Qrow held his gaze forward, since they both stood and leaned against the stairs' railing, looking forward was not at Tai, who stood up a few steps to his left.

In the end Qrow slowly turned his head towards Tai. It took him so much willpower that you'd think his head was plodding through snow.

Tai's face was neutral. Or, it rather it seemed blanked but on closer inspection, it held subtle clues of the two emotions anger and pity. It seemed like they fluctuated in real-time over his face. There was also that knowing look, that forced an almost airless, gasp out of Qrow.

Qrow wanted to say something to change the topic. To turn around and leave this place. Curiosity stayed him though. Had Tai really figured it out? Now, or had always known?

But time dragged on. And the two just stared in each others eyes. Qrow began to tremble. And his gaze eventually flicker off Tai to the ground.

Tai knew.

Qrow grabbed the railing to support his weight like a walking stick as he felt weakness like poison seep into his knees. With his head hanging and his gaze on his feet, he stated in weak voice, "You know."

"Know? Know what Qrow? Is there something I should know? Should Ruby know it as well?" Tai asked.

Revenant grabbed one of Scarlet's horns and shook her around as if she weigh nothing. Scarlet screamed in fear and pain.

This put Lumi in stupor. Seeing both Jade and Jin down and their best fighter Scarlet overpowered.

Scarlet's red aura lit up around her body like skin tight transparent suit of neon red light. Revenant took her bare and free hand and pinches the aura. She pulled and string of red light followed.

She rotated Scarlet's head so that she looked straight at Revenant's right hand. Scarlet looked at the strange red string that came from her in puzzlement. Usually, aura wasn't so malleable.

Then Revenant snapped her fingers and the thread in it at the same time and like a fuse, the aura dispersed along the string till it reached Scarlet's body, were her entire body's aura exploded into pieces that fade into nothing.

Scarlet's head fell forward as she lost consciousness. Revenant let go of her and she uncermoniously fell to the floor.

Fear had stunned her before and this act push her over the top. Lumi screamed, a high-pitched desperate screech. She fumbled as she tried to set the scabbard piece of Corcea Mors with the hand-sword into the long sword build. It finally set as she lifted it up in front of her toward Revenant.

She cursed herself for trembling. What would her father or mother say if they saw her now? She was the heiress of heroes and yet, she couldn't stop shaking.

No. Her friends depended on her. She wouldn't fail her family's legacy either. She'd save them. She would.

She gathered her confidence and lifted her, now fierce gaze towards Revenant, only for another shook wave of fear being sent through her body.

Revenant gave her, her entire attention. The empty knight helmet's eye holes bore into her with their darkness.

"Corcea Mors," the voice that come from the tall armored grim-knight sounded weirdly weak but at the same time powerful, or like weak and strained voice speaking through a megaphone.

Lumi froze and her eyes widen.

"H-how-" she began but was interrupted as Revenant continued.

"How did you come by that sword?"

"No. How do you know of this sword?!" Lumi yelled back in fear.

Was Revenant and old enemy of her father? What was going on?

"..." Revenant said nothing but then took a delibrate step forward, over the body of Scarlet, towards Lumi.

"You have blonde hair," Revenant spoke again and took another step forward.

"You... You know of fa-Jaune Arc?" Lumi asked and inhaled through her teeth.

Suddenly, Revanant took huge strides in a quick walk towards Lumi. Lumi held her sword forward and Revenant drew to a stop so the tip of the sword came next to her chest. Revenant seem to inspect it the sword pointing at her closer. She even brought up her hand as if she were to touch it.

Lumi jerked the blade at the hand and Revenant pulled away.

"Stay back!" Lumi shouted and after brief pause. "And leave this place."

Revenant held her own sword out and to the side, seemingly to show it off to Lumi.

"Can you see it?" Revenant then move her sword next to the other.

Lumi backed a step only to make sure that Revenant would stab her with sudden launch at her. Revenant read her movements and turned the blade across hers so she no longer could do it without telegraphing it clearly.

The crossed blades shimmered off the artificial lights from strong lamps in the roof of the hanger. The swords were so similar, yet different. both had gold and brown leather for handles and silvery like blade. However, Corcea Mors had more straight and sharp edges to it while Revenant's blade had a smooth curve to it. It almost looked like a thin paddle as it's edge dove, rose, and dove again. The blade also was also clearly broken up into smaller shards along it's length. It kinda resembled a telescope that could fold in on itself.

"This is Excalibur. It was made by the same smith as Corcea Mors. They were done in a package deal," Revenant said.

Lumi was stunned. She didn't know what to make of the woman's words.

"They were forged in Haven?" she asked and looked up at the significantly taller woman.

"Yes. Nicolas Arc sent a request for them to be made as birthday presents for his... Twins." Revenant reached for her helmet and pulled it off.

Goldie locks sprawled down onto Revenant's black armor. A beautiful, if a bit aged, blonde woman's face was revealed behind the helmet. A shining blue eye, typical of the arc family, looked at Lumi, while the other eye was monstrous. In fact, the woman's right side of her face was covered in black grim goo with sharp spikes protruding out from it. A red eye, like that of a fly, popped out from the goo in place of her right eye.

"Lumi, I am you're aunt."

Lumi gasped.

Dun dun dun!

The spring of the platform was released and sent Jun flying through the air. She flipped violently through the air. However, unlike the other students, she neither expressed any of their emotions like anger, cockiness, fear, thrill or as in Pyrrha's case stoic determination; no, she simply wore a deadpanned expression -- nor did she try to take control over her trajectory; she simply rag dolled whichever way she was being catapulted.

She could hear someone shout from the cliff. Perhaps they saw how she flew and though that she'd gone unconscious.

She closed her eyes since the ever changing scenery from clear blue skies and lush forest and snowy mountain range caused in the horizon caused by her endless spinning in the air, made her dizzy. She reach out with her aura.

There was nothing of note. Most students were simply busy with their landing strategy. Whomever, shouted at the cliff, she could no longer follow up on since the distance was too great for her yet to cover with her senses.

She sense she had started to descend rather than ascend but she didn't need magic for that. It felt as if a giant stood underneath her and blew at her like he were trying to put out a candle. Her hair encapsulated her head and whipped her face on repeat. She heard the sound of bike tire being filled in her ear.

Then suddenly she felt something. An attack? But it had no malicious intent, in fact it's intent seemed benign but it was still an attack. Huh?

She reinforced her aura and just in time as something point just rocket into her chest, sending her flying off course of her original trajectory.

After some more but uneventful falling, she finally hit the ground, or more like skipped along it. Her aura took a massive hit as her head dug up a small ditch before she bounced and proceeded to slide along the grass. Her torso hit a tree and sent her wheeling along her sliding path. She was like malfunctioning lawnmower; breaking down the vegetation instead of cutting it along the path she went. Eventually, her twisted body came to a stop.

She lay there for a moment. While aura did protect and heal its user, it wasn't impenetrable. She could feel her body ache, especially her head. She felt as if her head was made of lead and it was a black box with code only a machine could decipher.

So what's interesting about Ruby being a vampire? What's interesting about vampires in the first place? I guess, is the concept that you have to hurt others to survive, or hurt others not to hurt yourself. Kill or be killed. But there are many interesting points to vampire lore that one can extrapolate upon. For example, they are immortal and immortality in itself and be the focus point of our story. We after all decide what we should focus on.

Let's focus on the killing others or hurting others to survive or not to hurt oneself. Ruby a girl who dreamt of being a heroine her whole life and helping people is kinda forced to take up the mantle of villain as a vampire. This inner conflict can be interesting to focus on.

There's always the element of having a loved one on the other side of the conflict. Yang is Ruby's sister and she will be forced by the laws of society to oppose her feeding.

What's interesting about this point though? I guess, it's again the inner conflict of what they want and what is right, though in this case it becomes more what they want and what the law and society expects them to do. What if I made Yang into a vampire "hater", that would fuel the contrasting emotions in her inner conflict, however, this could easily become contrived as in, not only were Ruby kidnapped but Yang also had to deal with bad vampires on the side. This problem could be dealt with somewhat by having them happen simultaneously. But then you'd think Yang would consider the possibility that Ruby was made into a vampire. However however, maybe it's rare for this to happen in the first place? So that's not where her mind goes?