>>23519The sound of my groaning seemed to attract the foal’s attention. It stopped not far from me and looked up with a joyous expression on its horrible little face.
“Wook daddeh!” it cried triumphantly. “Babbeh spwow!”
“I can see that, you little faggot!” I cried, in a mockingly cutesy voice. The fluffy, however, didn’t seem to comprehend irony; it wasn’t put off by anything I said to it.
“Babbeh spwow! Babbeh wuv spwow!” it continued to crow, as if it genuinely believed that aimless wandering around the hallway was an achievement it ought to be proud of.
“Hey faggot,” I said, still with my mocking cutesy-wootsy voice, “Don’t you know you’re supposed to stay in your goddamn safe room?”
The “babbeh” looked up at me in confusion suddenly.
“Why daddeh call babbeh ‘Faggot’?”
I forced a smile so hard it made my face hurt. I leaned down with my hands on my knees, looking the obnoxious little creature right in its eyes, though it didn’t seem to even remotely sense my hostility towards it.
“Because you’re a little faggot, faggot!” I said. “Look at what you did to my goddamn carpet–”
However, I couldn’t finish the sentence, because the foal suddenly fell back onto its hindquarters and began clapping its tiny hooves together and laughing.
“Babbeh am Faggot! Babbeh am Faggot! Faggot wuv nu name! Faggot wuv ou, Daddeh! Babbeh am Faggot, babbeh am Faggot…”
The idiot just kept singing this to himself over and over while clapping his hooves together and laughing. In spite of how angry I was, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing myself. Jesus Christ these things are stupid, I thought. Does this little moron seriously think that ‘faggot’ is its name?
After the initial amusement though, it occurred to me that this might be a problem. My wife was super protective of these things, especially the babies, and she knew perfectly well that I didn’t like fluffies. If she heard this thing calling itself Faggot she would instantly know that I’d had something to do with it.
“No no,” I began. “Your name isn’t Faggot, I was just calling you a name…”
I trailed off, because the idiot was clearly confused.
“Babbeh nu am Faggot? Siwwy Daddeh! Faggot am Faggot! Faggot wuv nu Daddeh…”
Its babbling seemed to jog something in my memory that I’d heard about fluffies. Apparently they have some kind of biological programming that registers the human who names it as its “mummah” or “daddeh.” And once it’s named, that’s it’s name; I could torture this thing and it wouldn’t ever acknowledge that it’s name isn’t actually Faggot. I was basically screwed; there was no way to reverse this. Looks like I can forget about sex for the next month, I thought grimly as I watched Faggot do his stupid little “wuv-Daddeh” dance.
A weird idea suddenly crossed my mind, and I glanced once more at the slightly open door that the foal had come through. It didn’t look like any of the other “babbehs” were in a “spwowin’” mood, as I could see no sign of any others wandering through the door, and there was only one trail of shit. I crossed the hall quickly as I could, while avoiding stepping in the shit splatters of course, and peered inside. I saw the unmistakable hot-pink blob that was Ramona, sitting in the center of the room. I counted five foals bouncing merrily around her, and Faggot made six. All shitrats accounted for. Ramona looked up at me and began to yammer some fluff-speak gibberish about her “wittle spwowin’ babbeh,” but I didn’t bother to listen to what it was. I rudely slammed the door while she was in mid-sentence and pulled it tight, making sure it had closed all the way and couldn’t be nudged open again.
With the door shut, I returned my attention to Faggot.
“Hey little buddy,” I said cheerfully. “Did I hear you say you like ‘splorin’?”
The little blue foal nodded its head enthusiastically.
“Faggot wuv spwowe!” it cried.
“Hey, that’s great, Faggot!” I cried, all cutesy-wike. Like. Cutesy-LIKE. Fuck, now even I’m talking like these things. “I’ll tell you what: how would you like to become a professional explorer?”
Faggot looked confused for a second, but then he began to once again clap his hooves like a retard and chirp in that little singsong voice again.
“Faggot wan spwowe! Faggot wuv spwowe!”
That sounded like a yes to me.
“Alright, Faggot, then I’ll tell you what: I’m going to make you a cadet in the Fluffy Aeronautics and Space Administration!”
“Yay! Faggot wuv spwowe!”
While the little idiot was still chirping and singing, I went into the bathroom and turned on the tub faucet. I let the water run as hot as I could get it, far hotter than anything I would ever bathe in, and let the tub fill up about halfway. When I came back to the hallway, Faggot had stopped singing and was looking up at me curiously.
“Daddeh?” it asked. “What am ‘fwuffy spess pwogwam?’”
“Oh, you’ll learn all about it, Faggot!” I said cheerfully. “Training starts right fucking now!”
Without warning I reached down and grabbed the little shitrat by the scruff of its fluff. It immediately began waving its legs and chirping in alarm.
“Nuu! Nu wike, nu wike! Bad upsies!” it cried, over and over. I ignored it.
“First mission is aquatic training!” I laughed, and tossed the foal carelessly in the direction of the bathtub.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!” it shrieked in alarm, its legs flailing comically as it sailed through the air in a graceful arc.
It hit the water with a little plop, sunk underneath for a moment and then bobbed to the surface.
“NUUUU! NU WIKE, NU WIKE!!! BUWNY WAWA NU AM GUD FOW FWUFFY!!!” it shrieked, gurgling in between words as it struggled to tread water. Suddenly, a burst of “scaredy poopies” fired out of its hindquarters.