>I am Anonymous.
>I have lost tweenty kilos from the last three weeks.
>I cannot sleep, in fact, I cannot be still at all for my mind will force me to relive that accursed week in June.
>Back then I still lived in my estate in Canterlot instead of the insane Asylum here in Ponyville.
>I came to this world by a failed magical experiment performed by the Princess of Friendship but also the element of magic, Twilight Sparkle.
>As an apology for pulling me from my world, the Princess with the blessing of the other Princesses, gave me a pretty nice home in Canterlot.
>I most have made a good impression on them.
>In the begining, this cause quite the uproar amongst Nobles in Canterlot, which I could sympathize with since an alien had moved in among them.
>Other ponies traveled across Equestria to see me.
>This caused me to spend most of my time inside to avoid looks of ire or curiousity, or the pony paparazzi's facility of the two.
>This however only lasted for so long since, the Princess of Friendship could not stand for me being all alone, locked away from the rest of the world.
>At first she had let me deal with the sadness of never seeing friends and family on my own, suddenly I had to accompany her friends as my new job.
>Something about a map, nah jk.
>One day I was following Rainbow Dash; one of Twilight's friends, an element of Harmony, and benchwarmer for the pegasi flying stunt group: The Wonderbolts; on one of the Wonderbolts' performances.
>Their captain, Spitefire, didn't show up so Rainbow Dash took her place.
>Then she did and Rainbow Dash was accused of sending notes to trick Spitefire to miss the event.
>These ponies missed the obvious that, 'Why would Rainbow Dash, who already is well established in the Wonderbolts, want to risk it for one simple performance?'
>However, they weren't listening so instead I decided to help RD.
>I suprized everyone when I solved the case and proved it was Wind Rider who had caused the confusion.
>Guess, all that fedora tipping in a trench coat towards passing woman finally paid off.
>After that I started to engage with pony society more and became a private detective.
>This changed things.
>The curious ponies got over the alien part of you and came to view you more how they view the other famous bipedal, Iron Will: As a brand, due to your snooping buisness.
>Your neighbours grew fonder of you as the media reported more and more about the cases you closed rather than the unfair gifts you been given and how you were an alien in their neighborhood.
>One day, at the end of May a grey mare with a well-kept, raven mane and tail, and with a white collar around her neck with a pink bowtie tied to it walked into your office.
>>350113>tfw lovecraftian horrors play got your nose<You, Private Dick Anonymous, cannot sleep at night as you stay at the Ponyville mental health asylum after you investigated strange disappearences in the small and desolate town of Trottingham.>Be Detective Anon, a Dick.>The haunting images, sounds, the things continue to reverberate through your mind.>Those sad sad ponies utterly distraught.
"All things at the beginning right?">Ponyville's mental health asylum had to have some pony watch you for your entire duration.>It's also recorded for everyone's well being.>Never knowing who they are or if others watch too telling a story for old times sake is worth it.
"You probably know my rise as a detective it's in all the papers for alien minotaur cracks another case.">Pulling all your life time into this.
"Be me, Anonymous Dick getting a call from my lovely assistant Flower Smile.">"Trottingham, was a nice small place, the case though is beyond messed up. Guards, other detectives, mystics, ponies on a dare no pony is willing to go there. The payout though is immense.">Holy dick shitting tit nipples.
"What the fuck is up with that Smile?">"Everypony has lost their boner."
"That's terrible, no thanks, send the job to a female detective.">"That's the thing Dick, when mares go there they get boners!">What the fuck.
"What the fuck.">"Exactly, see from our mutual encounters you don't have a boner-"
"You sure about that.">You can feel her eyes roll through the phone.>"You don't have nor need a bone for your penis, you know a boner."
"I didn't know that, and the mares there?">"Behind the clit making it impossible to wink.">A winking mare is a happy mare.>Ponies love a good time without it well civilization would collapse.
"Fine, I'll take the case.">Whatever occurs in Trottingham must be stopped.>A trainride, carriage and then a long walk later.>A town sapped of the liveliness normally seen in Equestria.>A few ponies see you.>Like a switch their eyes light up for a moment before an uncomprehencible pain and loss registers.>A greyish green stallion goes forth to meet you.>"Dick you gotta get us our boners back please.">You give a grin that newspapers printed and made famous.
"That's why I'm here and to make sure whatever happened here can't happen elsewhere.">A collective wince from every single pony is seen and felt.>"We'll tell you everything Detective Anonymous.">Low and behold through a chain of dialogue a weird fucked up statue was found in the ground and they accidentally broke it with a spade.>It looks like a fever dream took ketamine doused in LSD while browsing all the porn focusing on fringe categories.>You feel dirty just looking at the thing.<"Now all of you listening to this, here is where shit gets real I'm serious have a barf bucket or switch with somepony with harder constitution.">Now as many know being human means you can't use magic and you're affected by it all the same.>The thing is sensing magic through normal senses is trippy to say the least.>Statue with the crack oozed some of the most vile magic ever seen on a case.>Even the time looking through the private library of forbidden tomes.
"What do you know words.">Spells don't need to be said only recognized.>When that happens it runs nearly instantly through whatever magic is available.>This however is hardcore malware.>As you feel the twisted tentacles run privilege escalation a clear message despite the wrongness of the speech seeps through shaking everything to a red hot rage.>"Got your bone!"
>"There it is!">And then the eldritch screams kept repeating as it could not find your boner.>Migraines marched on and transformed to sheer physical pain in everything you notice the statue slowly stop leaking that vile shit.>Those in the town felt the pain, but then they sang a song of joy.>The town's ponies began an orgy at the same time.>You losing consciousness didn't stop anything.
"And it never fucking stopped.">"The Trottingham orgy did stop which is how you're here."
"Thanks for clearing that up for the recording, I ment the pain of existing."
"That's about it, besides all the drugs not working nor the magic."
"Only good news is that I'm here in Equestria and I can still get a hardon after solving that boner."
Well, it was funny, the parts that I got. While I don't really know what I read, I do know who wrote it, Ocult Facade.
I actually have something for this as well, but it's turning into a much larger idea that's probably too big to do as an informal greentext. If I finish it before the thread 404s I will post it here, otherwise it will eventually be dropped into one of the other writing threads.
Do you think these threads are any good? I mean, I haven't myself written anything in them and if I find it unlikely that I will because on some pychological level I feel pressed by the posting my writing online. It hampers my creativity, I think.
Decided I would write for myself more, offline for a while.
Should I continue to post these threads in the future? I like to facilitate write if I can and I also think that the prompts I make are pretty good. I think I balance those well by being concise, having intresting lore, and a mystery box to fill for the writer.
I mean, it's still more content for the site.
Well, they've given me a couple of ideas. I think it's good to have prompts on the board, if anything we should have more threads encouraging people to writefag.
I've been lurking, even though I haven't contributed. I say keep doing it. It's a good idea.