"Uh, so anyway, about your cutie mark..." "Oh, right. Well, it's like this: ah spent so much time tryin' to get mah cutie mark, it became sorta mah 'ray-zon dettra.'">she puffs out her chest a little as she says the last bit "But now that ah have mah cutie mark, it's like ah'm missin' out on the fun of tryin', ya know? Like, me and the girls, we did all kinds of fun stuff to try and find out what our special talents were, but in the end, none o'those things became our cutie marks! Don't get me wrong, ah like havin' mah cutie mark an' all, but it's like, now we spend all our time helpin' other ponies, and sometimes ah just want us to go off and have fun adventures like we used to!">Bloom's hoof gestures become more animated as she speaks "...because it's like, we put all that time and effort inta learnin' botany, an' singin', an' costume design, and all this other stuff, and it's like none of it even mattered! We all just wound up gettin' the exact same cutie mark! Ah mean, how does somethin' like that even happen? An' ah mean, ah really am happy to finally have mah mark, but...gettin' a cutie mark in findin' cutie marks? It feels like kind of a lame payoff after all that hard work-->you decide to cut in before she starts hyperventilating
"Look kid, you need to relax. I think you're putting way too much importance on these butt pic--er, cutie marks.">the yellow filly gives you a sour look "Easy fer you to say. Yer a human, y'all don't even have cutie marks."
"Well, that's kind of my point.">you mentally run through your life's expereinces, trying to find something more or less G-rated that could help this kid>you clear your throat
"Well, it's like this: we don't have cutie marks where I come from, but we do have this thing called the career aptitude test. I took this test in high school, and it basically told me I was too stupid to do much of anything. My guidance counselor said I should just join the army and hope for a war to start. But I got into college anyway on a football scholarship, plus I was banging the counselor's wife that summer so the joke was pretty much on him." "Gosh, you shore do seem to bang into an awful lot of people, Mr. Chad! You should try to be a little less clumsy."
"Yeah, I know; it's a real problem for me. So anyway, I got into college on a basketball scholarship--" "Basketball? Ah thought you said it was a football scholarship?"
"Huh? Oh, well, actually I qualified for both scholarships. It didn't really matter, though, because I decided not to go. See, my Dad, he owns this dealership, and I'm probably just going to work there, and then eventually I'll inherit it. See what I'm saying?">Apple Bloom stares blankly at you "Uhhh....no.">you furrow your brow in concentration>psychiatry is harder than it looks
"Well...you see, think about it this way. I have this friend named Kev. Real smart guy, probably the smartest guy I know. When he took that same aptitude test, it told him that he was going to be some kind of genius computer programmer. The guidance counselor told him he should apply to MIT." "What's 'ehm ah tee?'"
"It's like Princess Celestia's magic school. So anyway, Kev applied to that school, but they wouldn't let him in because they said they already had enough white guys. So, he wound up going to some state school. Then, he tried to get a job as a freelance programmer to help pay his tuition, but nobody would hire him. You see what I'm getting at?" "Uh, nope. Sorry."
"See, my friend Kev, who's like this super genius, took this test, and it told him he was going to do all these great things with his life. I took the same test, and it told me I was basically retarded. But Kev wound up working at Arby's, while I just got laid all summer and helped out at my Dad's dealership a little. Then, Kev figured out how to create some kind of quantum disruption field in his basement, and opened up a portal to Equestria." "Is that how y'all got here?"
"Yeah. We both came through the portal. I wound up as Princess Luna's personal consort--" "What exactly do you do for Princess Luna anyway, Mr. Chad?"
"Huh? Oh, I uh...I read her bedtime stories. It's not important. Anyway, I wound up as Princess Luna's consort, while Kev...actually, I'm not sure what Kev is doing these days. Does he still live in Ponyville?">Apple Bloom looks uncomfortable "Uh, he does, but...well, the mayor had to pass some kinda law to keep him from hasslin' the mares. And Miss Cheerilee says he's not allowed on school grounds anymore. She told us to come get her if he tries to talk to any of us."
"Oh. Well, anyway, do you get what I'm saying now, kid? You really shouldn't worry too much about all this stuff about cutie marks and destiny and whatever. If you want to go on adventures with your friends, just do it. Is there a law saying that just because your cutie mark isn't in hang gliding or whatever, that you can't go hang gliding?">Apple Bloom shakes her head
"Well, there you go. Just do whatever you want, kid; stuff usually just works itself out. That's how it works for me, anyway."