/mlpol/ - My Little Politics

>>375394

The last, and probably most confusing, issue with this is the bit with the maneframe and the robots. This is the part where I don't think the author completely thought things through.

As far as I can tell, the maneframe controls everything in the hospital. The doors, the locks, the various robots, everything. So...exactly whose bright idea was it to create an interface that would allow the vegetable-patch kids to control the entire fucking hospital with their mind powers?

The text only provides a couple of murky clues:

>“Oh, don’t worry about it. Oh, just a heads-up that Robronco will be here to tie the maintenance robots into the system maneframe. Once their control system is linked to the bots, your nurses shouldn’t have to worry about them causing messes.”
This is the last thing that Garnet says to Redheart before the memory orb cuts out. I have read this passage several times over, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what the significance is supposed to be.

Best I can figure, Garnet is saying that Robronco (I don't think I've mentioned it yet but Robronco is the company that manufactures all of the robots we've seen in the book so far) will be coming by to rig up the maintenance bots so that they can be controlled by the maneframe. I'm not sure what the second part is implying, though. The maintenance bots were previously malfunctioning and creating messes? And putting them under control of the maneframe will fix this issue? And then eventually some idiot decides to give the kids total control over the maneframe, so they can use the maintenance robots to make clothing out of other ponies' skins? Is that, uh, basically summing it up?

Next we have this, from later on after BJ wakes up:

>Somepony, I suspected Redheart, had cut the connection between the repair bots and the facility maneframe.
This still doesn't explain why this connection was ever made in the first place. One idea that had occurred to me is that maybe they gave the kids robot doubles or something. Plug a kid's consciousness into the maneframe, then let them each control a robot they could use to walk around and interface with the world until they were out of stasis. That could make sense. Trouble is, this is just more speculation on my part; I have no idea if this is what the author had in mind or not, as he never clarifies it.

Either way, it's clear that at this point in the story, the kids have complete and total control over not only the maintenance robots, but the gun turrets, the surgery-bot, the automatic doors, and all the other systems we've seen them control. Unless the implication is that they somehow figured out a way to hack into these systems, I can't see any way for them to have this level of control unless someone deliberately gave it to them. The fact that there is a big cable connecting the kids' pods to the maneframe suggests that this was done by design, which again...just seems like a really, really stupid thing to do.

Although, honestly, at this point I think I could believe that this world's Fluttershy was actually retarded enough to give bored, paralyzed children complete psychic control over scalpel-wielding robots and programmable gun turrets as a way to keep themselves amused.

>They’d sat here alone, incapable of any interaction at all. Unable to sleep. They couldn’t even kill themselves. Then the Enclave arrived and connected the maneframe again. The children had resumed their games, honed after decades of being trapped within themselves.
The closer I look at it, I think the cable being discussed connects the maneframe to whatever system controls the robots, not the stasis pods to the maneframe. The line I quoted earlier actually refers to the connection between the repair bots and the facility maneframe, so presumably when the cable was cut, the maneframe was no longer able to communicate with the maintenance bots. The kids' stasis pods are presumably just hardwired directly into the maneframe. They are still connected to the system, but can no longer use it to control the bots.

However, all this does is clarify the literal meaning of Somber's ambiguously-worded text; it still doesn't explain why in the wide wide world of fuck anyone thought it would be a good idea to let the coma-kids control every robot in the hospital. Even if they hadn't wound up going insane from being trapped in fully-conscious stasis for 200 years, it seems like this would be a recipe for disaster.

Anyway, fuck; I'm probably overthinking this. I'll just close by saying that once you get past the shock value of the big reveal here, there are a ton of glaring logic holes and ambiguities that ruin a lot of the impact. The outcome I predicted earlier, which Sven was kind enough to screencap [ >>375379 ] would have honestly made a lot more sense imo.

I guess the best thing I can say about this hospital arc is that it kinda-sorta works if you view it as the end result of bureaucratic incompetence. Basically, Fluttershy, the well-intentioned but naïve hospital administrator, wanted to save the children because letting the children die would be sad. However, for various reasons, it was not possible to save the children. So, she did the next best thing: spend probably a metric fuckton of taxpayer money designing an overelaborate solution that accomplished nothing beyond prolonging the inevitable. Then, everyone in Equestria died, and the children were trapped in a state of monstrous living death for 200 years. Then, for reasons that now that I think about it are also never explained, the Enclave showed up one day, and plugged in Fluttershy's preposterously ill-advised system that enabled the insane orphans to control an army of rampaging killbots. Then, the Enclave ponies were killed by the orphans. Then, some more stuff happened, and then finally Blackjack shows up and saves the day.

>>375395

Oh, right, Blackjack. I almost forgot about her.

Well, suffice it to say that Blackjack is in a bit of a spot right now. She's lying on the table with her belly cut open and her guts spilling out, as a surgery-bot controlled by the looney orphans slowly dissects her. However, who should suddenly appear but Morning Glory, who as it turns out is less dead than expected. She flies in with her trusty beam gun, and manages to distract the killbot for a couple of minutes.

Meanwhile, BJ notices P-21 sneaking around the back way like a sneaky-ass motherfucker. He sneaks on up to the maneframe terminal, and sneakily begins trying to hack it, or do whatever the fuck he does with terminals.

With the killbot's attention temporarily diverted, BJ is able to slip out of the restraints binding her to the table. Holding her guts in, she manages to retrieve her automatic shotgun, remove the drum, pack it full of explosive rounds, stuff it under the cable that connects the maneframe to either the orphans or the killbots depending on who you ask, and then SHOT WEB at the drum until it kerplodes. WOOSH! The killbot is now disabled, and the orphans are once again trapped in a state of monstrous living death. The scene ends in a page break.

When BJ regains consciousness, her intestines are back where they are supposed to be. She is lying on a different table, next to some kind of magical regenerative talisman that somehow manages to simultaneously perform complicated surgery and also provide healing and pain relief, simply by being activated and placed next to the patient. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is honestly as farfetched as medicine has gotten in this story so far, so I'm just going to let it slide for now. Also, it turns out the talisman has a time limit, and can only be used once, so there's a reasonable limit to it I guess.

Anywho, other than a small scar, BJ appears no worse for wear. She regrets that they had to use the surgery-talisman on her intestinal spillage, and as such were unable to heal P-21's leg. P-21 tells her not to worry about it, since his leg has been broken for basically the entire story and it doesn't seem to have hampered him very much.

With that nasty business out of the way, they can now move on to the lighter task of murdering 40 insane, paralyzed orphans. Blackjack isn't too keen on doing it, but P-21, ever her better angel, assures her it's probably the right thing to do.

>No. “No no no… fuck no. Fuck!” I yelled as I looked at the pods around me with their wildly zigzagging readouts. I could imagine their screams as they were locked up once again. I rounded on P-21. “I’m not killing forty children! Are you out of your mind?”
39 children is apparently where she draws the line.

Anywho, Morning Glory has a different take on the situation. She thinks that they should just leave the kids in stasis for now, and maybe eventually the Enclave will wander in at some point and rescue them, perhaps later if they're not busy. P-21 thinks that Morning Glory is fucking retarded, and threatens to slap the black off of her if she doesn't shut her whore mouth. He points out that these orphans have killed before, and will likely kill again. You cannot slake an orphan's thirst for blood, once they have had that first sip.

Since the two of them are at a deadlock, and since murdering orphans is usually a democratic decision, it falls to Blackjack to cast the tiebreaking vote. She agonizes over it for an appropriate amount of time, but ultimately pulls the lever in favor of orphan-murder. The trio sings ribald sea chanties as they cast the orphans' souls one by one into the briny deep. After that, they all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes.

note: I am probably way too sleep-deprived at this point to be doing this, in fact I may even have gone as mad as a bloodthirsty orphan. As such, I may have taken a few liberties in summarizing this last bit. You may want to read it yourself. It's...sad? I think? This goofy arc is giving me a headache, and I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm just going to say that yes, it was probably sad.

Anyway, there's a page break. Blackjack goes poking around in the supply closet where the others found the magic surgery talisman, and there she discovers a bonus: this room contains the mummified carcass of none other than Nurse Redheart, who has recently changed her name to Nurse Deadheart. She apparently had half of her skin peeled away by rampaging orphans, but before joining the choir invisible, she managed to sever the cable that linked the doohickey to the thingamabob. Then, dragging her bloodied and useless legs behind her, she crawled into this storage room to see if they had any Fig Newtons left.

It turns out that yes, there was one box left, but those blasted murderous orphans had gone and eaten them all. As a final 'fuck you', they put one of those goddamn Mane 6 statues inside the box.

Naturally, Blackjack does what any righteous pony in her situation would do: takes the Fluttershy statue away from Nurse Redheart's desiccated corpse, and then cries about doing it.

>“I’m sorry. I tried. I tried to do better. I tried to help…” Slowly I held the Fluttershy figurine to my chest as I slumped over onto my side, weeping and blubbering like a foal. “I’m so sorry.” As I lay there alone in the storage room, I suddenly knew exactly why Redheart had come here:
>To beg for forgiveness she would never receive.
Whose forgiveness? Fluttershy's? Unless I have completely misunderstood this entire chapter, this whole debacle was the end result of Fluttershy's preposterously bad judgement. If this were my story, I would probably just replace "forgiveness" with "Fig Newtons."

Anyway, that's the end of the chapter. I'm going to bed now.

>Footnote: Level Up.
>Skill Note: Speech (50)
>New Perk: Orphan Annihilator - Gain +10 to ATK when target is an Orphan. Add +5 to DMG if Orphan is paralyzed and bloodthirsty.

>>375396
If we take the whole scenario at face value I think the angsting over whether to pull the plug on the two century old deranged orphans is just played up because the author wants the reader feel as torn up and conflicted as the characters. The only realistic and humane or pony-ane, whatever option is to put the foals out of their misery, no-one in the wasteland would expend valuable medicine or turn the mutilated foals into cyborgs even if they were not unhinged, uncontrollable killers. A tragic fate for the foals, and an unpleasant choice to make for our protagonists but not a morally complicated one.

But again, as with kkat's writing, this entire hospital adventure with it's gruesome mutilation, psychological foal torture and mass killing of psychologically tortured foals is just a conga line of edgy nonsense written for its shock value. The most we can probably expect in character development is BJ moaning in her internal monologue about being a foal-murdered in the same vein as she moans about getting Scoodle torn in two.

>>375380
Fallout 1 took place in Southern California 60 years after the bombs fell. It made sense for a regional currency to be established before the protagonist left his Vault to save it.

Fallout 2 takes place in Northern California 80 years later. 140 years after the nuking. A currency anyone can find is replaced with one the NCR has power over.

Fallout 3 comes out 60 years later, 200 years after the nuking, and Fallout 3 brings radioactively mutated/Forced Evolutionary Virus-mutated Jacksons Chameleons and Scorpions and Bottlecaps and other California things to DC. We'll see them again in Boston years later in Fallout 4. The Fallout brand under Bugthesda means Fallout iconography and memberberries.

New Vegas was written by competent writers doing their best in the impossible situation they were put into by Bugthesda, so they had to invent excuses for what happened to NCR dollars. The Brotherhood Of Steel destroyed their gold reserves during a war so the NCR currency couldn't be backed by gold, especially once everyone wanted to exchange it for gold, making it a worthless fiat currency, and many wanted to sabotage the NCR and their money amyway.

Equestria is not Northern or Southern California, or Vegas, or DC. But it's been 200 years since the bombs dropped and ponies are still scavenging perfectly preserved food and medical supplies from stores and functional hospitals and the security bots and killer AIs still work. It's so lazy for every location to be a Fallout thing mistranslated and given a Pony themed coat of paint and maybe some extra stats in the shallowest sense. Parasprites don't become some new unique horror, flying swarms of demonic insects that strip a corpse into a skeleton in seconds. No, Parasprites are just Bloatflies from Fallout by another name. Deathclaws become fucking Diamond Dogs because "making them smart and letting them use guns makes them more dangerous" in the shallowest sense. Sure this boosts their DPS but then they aren't really Deathclaws any more. Taking away a Chameleon's colour-changing and turning it into a giant killer monster was unique. Cunts with guns? Not unique. It's all such a failure of imagination. Even things unique to Ponyland are uncreatively translated into this world. Poison Joke, a plant that fucks with you and takes away one of your greatest strengths, just fucking kills you because this is Edgequestria. Like a photocopy of Bethesda's photocopy of Fallout. Could have had a story arc where Littlepoop gets hit with Poison Joke and becomes a burden and feels like a useless bug, perhaps she becomes tiny to reflect how small she feels against the enormity of the evil universe or whatever, and her friends struggle to keep her safe in their pockets. They could go on a detour to get her cured by a rare witch doctor who demands a high price. Or refuse the detour and focus on the mission even though it just got harder, maybe even impossible. Interpersonal relationships could change for the worse once the main fighter is crippled. Could be great. Any story could use this premise and let sickness or injury matter. But no, that would get in the way of killing big numbers with bigger numbers like a true gamer trying to impress other gamers.

At least PH usually rips off other stuff, not just Fallout, whenever something from Fallout that would normally go there has already been used in the original story.

Also MLP is a setting where Cockatrices can turn you to stone. Magic loves turning flesh to stone and back again. Everything that happened to these kids was entirely unnecessary because Fluttershy forgot Cockatrices exist. Use machines to keep one of those alive if keeping it alive is necessary for keeping the kids alive while turned to stone or keeping them from changing back. Why is this franchise so afraid to engage with the fantasy side of MLP and the limitless possibilities magic can enable? Magic is more than just a cheatcode for healing ponies and throwing heavy stuff.

>>375410
This basically sums up how I feel about it. Unfortunately the whole arc is very kkat-esque, in that it's a contrived situation where plausibility is sacrificed in order to max out the tragedy and horror. Unfortunately you see this a lot in amateur writing, and as I've explained numerous times in these reviews it almost never works as intended.

Stories like these are created through kind of a silly internal dialogue:
>I want to make everyone reading my story feel sad.
<okay, what's the saddest thing you can think of?
>A dead child.
<Yeah, that's pretty sad, but what's even sadder than that?
>Two dead children?
<That's a start, but you have to think bigger.
>What about 40 dead children?
<Now you're talking! That's 40x as sad. You can still make it even sadder, though.
>What if I gave them all incurable diseases?
<Yeah, and maybe have some of them missing eyes and limbs and stuff.
>Also, the protagonist should have to be the one that kills them.
<Yes, and make sure she cries about if afterward.
>Of course she's going to cry, how else would anyone know she's sad?

At this point, you've stopped trying to tell a story and are simply creating sadness porn. The problem is that a work of fiction, by definition, is not real, and the audience knows it's not real, so simply adding a tragic situation to the story is not going to be enough to produce an emotional reaction. You have to make it real. A fictional story is never going to be real in the strict sense of the word, but it needs to be at least believable enough that the reader can imagine it actually happening.

The problem here is that the level of tragedy the author wants is so absurd and over the top that it's almost impossible to think up a plausible situation that could produce it. What realistic chain of events could lead to a scenario where the protagonist is forced to murder 40 children, some of whom have incurable diseases and are missing eyes and limbs? There aren't many options. Thus, whatever you come up with is likely to fall apart under scrutiny, as is the case here.

>A tragic fate for the foals, and an unpleasant choice to make for our protagonists but not a morally complicated one.
What's actually kind of interesting here is that the author might have inadvertently slipped a meaningful lesson into his story.

As you pointed out, there's really no complex moral decision here. The right decision is pretty obvious, it's just not pleasant. It only becomes a moral question when considered in terms of the feminized, humanist morality that's taken over modern thinking, ie that life is always sacred and you shouldn't ever kill. You can actually see this thinking play out in this exchange between Cheerilee and Fluttershy:

>“You’ve tested them on animals and adults. These are children, Fluttershy. Three months being trapped in your own body might be tough for an adult who understands what’s going on, but what about a child? They want to run and play and talk. They can’t simply be locked up for weeks on end. Fluttershy, it’s cruel!”
>Then Fluttershy spoke in a soft and gentle voice, “Are you saying I should leave children to die when I have a way to keep them safe and alive until they can be healed?” At that instant I knew that Cheerilee was screwed.

Here, Cheerilee is quite reasonably pointing out that Fluttershy's cure is worse than the disease. Trapping someone in their own body for years on end, in a state where they are unable to even move, and forcing them to remain conscious through the whole thing, would be unimaginably cruel, even more so to a child. However, Fluttershy just counters this with "but wut about children ded?" and as far as she is concerned this settles the matter.

If these foals are dying, and not even this setting's ridiculously OP healing magic can save them, then realistically there's not much more you can do for them besides ease their suffering. However, Fluttershy believes that it is absolutely immoral to let a foal die if it's possible to save them. So, she cooks up this ridiculous stasis system to keep them alive until...actually, I'm not even sure it was ever established what the endgame of all this was originally supposed to be.

The tragic irony is that the end result was the same as it would have been if Fluttershy had just let the foals die from whatever illnesses they had. The only thing she changed is that they had to endure 200 years of torture beforehand. Also, the ponies who were murdered by the children after they went insane would not have died if it hadn't been for her actions. Her adherence to an absolutist moral principle, ie that not-death is always better than death, ultimately resulted in more death and more suffering than the seemingly cruel but ultimately correct decision to just let nature run its course.

What's more, if you look at it closely, you can't even applaud Fluttershy for sticking to her principles. All she really did was dodge a difficult decision and pass the buck to someone else. Even though this whole situation was 100% Fluttershy's mess, she got to walk away feeling that she did something noble and good. It was ultimately Blackjack, who had nothing to do with any of this and who simply stumbled across this situation by chance, who has to make the hard decision and bear the guilt for the foals' deaths. It's actually pretty appalling that the author has her begging for Fluttershy's forgiveness at the end of the chapter.

Again, I think Somber kind of slipped on a banana peel with this arc and fell ass-backwards into a meaningful lesson. Real heroism and real leadership means being able to make difficult decisions, and do what needs to be done even if you don't feel good about it afterward.

>>375419
That last bit really hammers it home. I always disliked how people consider these fics 'pony-related'. I think they are only on a surface level - you have the characters and iconography and vague allusions to significant elements. But FO:E does not use these things genuinely or with any real interest. There is so much fun, so many cool things to be had if you honestly engaged with the setting of mlp and pony ethics instead of attempting to craft a name-replacement, dour post-apocalyptic setting where they're all just violent humans going through the motion of Fallout for the sole purpose of the crossover.

I hope I can capture pony well with my own autistic grimderp setting.

>>375419
>Poison Joke, a plant that fucks with you and takes away one of your greatest strengths, just fucking kills you because this is Edgequestria.
To be fair, if I remember it right, Poison Joke in FoE doesn't just straight-up kill you. It subjects you to Twilight Zone levels of cruel irony, which most of the time ends in death. Fluttershy said she wanted to be a tree that one time, so it physically transformed her into a tree. That sort of thing.

>Everything that happened to these kids was entirely unnecessary because Fluttershy forgot Cockatrices exist.
This is kind of an interesting idea. The only potential snag I can see is that, iirc, a cockatrice's spell can only be undone by the cockatrice who cast it. So in other words, you could use a cockatrice to turn the kids to stone until a cure could be found, but you would have to ensure that nothing happened to that particular cockatrice, and also figure out the cure within the course of its natural lifespan.

>Use machines to keep one of those alive if keeping it alive is necessary for keeping the kids alive while turned to stone or keeping them from changing back.
This might work, though if the technology works the same way you'd just be subjecting the cockatrice to psychological torture instead of the foals. In that case, by the time you're ready to un-stone the child, the cockatrice might be unwilling to help. Or, maybe it will have gone completely crazy itself and start turning everyone else to stone. All I can say is that if I had stone-turning powers, and someone used me to turn their sick kid to stone until a cure could be found, and then kept me in a state of torturous suspended animation for 200 years until it was time to revive them, at the end of it my attitude would pretty much be that the guy and his kid could just go fuck themselves.

Anyway, the trouble with this is that it doesn't work for engineering the kind of tragedy that Somber wanted to create. So, if any of this had occurred to him, all it would have done is make him realize he needed to scrap the entire arc.

>>374348
>>375192
>>375379
>>375410
>mfw
Clearly, I wrote these. But I have no memory of it.

>>375426
>blacking out only to find shitposts on a kazakhstani horse-whispering forum made in your name
That's concerning. We should get that checked out, me.

Jokes aside, as far as I know there are two swedes frequenting Glimmy's threads. One posts OC, has better grammar, makes good observations about the story being reviewed and is often referred to as Sven. The other is me. Just to clear up any possible confusion.

>>375422
Poison Joke's ironic instant deaths is better than nothing but it feels like a wasted opportunity for authors to never use this to make life harder on the heroes long-term and spend an arc exploring how character dynamics change and dynamic characters grow when subjected to its effects. Just imagine an arc where Blackjack is blinded then gets better in the end. Blindjack could stumble blindly and tap things with her baton and rely on her friends to tell her where to shoot. The author could try to write like a blind person, talking about smells and sounds instead of sights. SATS and EFS can't activate because she can't see shit.

As for the hospital...

A conga line of cockatrices could be created. The one that turned the kids to stone is turned to stone by another, which is turned to stone by another, which is turned to stone by another, and a mechanical system is set up in a lightless underground cage to feed the sole living cockatrice. When it expires, the next cockatrice becomes flesh again, and it stays in the cage and eats and dies and turns the next cockatrice to flesh. Eventually the final cockatrice dies and the kids are restored 200 years later. If the kids cannot be saved by then, get more cockatrices, throw them into the lightless cage one by one, turn the lights on so the current cockatrice is turned to stone by the newcomer, then each newcomer after that is turned to stone, and the waiting game continues. Could set up a Cockatrice Chute so they don't see light until they are safely in the Cockatrice Cage. It could last forever. Or until the world runs out of cockatrices if they cannot be bred or magically created.

Alternatively, experiment with artificial bodies. Brains in jars don't work? Why not? Was the process written off after donor brains from serial killers went evil? Does the brainbot simply use the brain as a CPU enhancer without actually giving the brain control over the machine despite keeping it alive and conscious? What happens if you take the souls from the kids and tie them to suits of armour or weaponry or puppets? Rarity split her own soul 69 times and had some of the soul fragments modified to imitate soul photocopies of her friends, this process was used to create the invincible unbreakable obnoxious stat-buffing Statuettes. Something convoluted involving magic was used to justify a retarded game mechanic instead of doing anything interesting like giving Littlepip a quest to gather many Twilight Sparkle statuettes and combine them into a RealDoll to get a fake Twilight Sparkle on your side, or throw them into Alicorn Creation Goo and hope for the best. Hell, aren't objects infused with a soul supposed to be invincible? Infuse armour pieces and buildings with souls.

Maybe this is all a bit retarded.

Perhaps this scene would have worked better if, when the bombs fell, after fighting off some feral ghouls and psycho bandits desperate to steal supplies, Nurse Redheart looked at the cryo-frozen orphan kids she was supposed to monitor and said to her conveniently placed tape recorder "The bombs fell and everything is chaos. Oh fuck, these kids are going to thaw out and die now that the power is out and we are never getting more supplies. Some of these kids even have rare diseases. Good thing my shotgun has enough shells left for all of them plus me. Tell Fluttershy she still owes me twenty bits."

Blackjack could piece the story together with environmental storytelling and say, damn, that's rough. Then one of her friends could cry about it.

But that means no spoomy shit...

Maybe use misdirection so the heroes think this is some horror movie shit and a psycho killer has been torturing and killing all these kids in hospital beds and we're next. Oh fuck oh shit that pony is missing an arm. And that pony is missing an eye. And that helpless tiny armless legless orphan foal was killed via lethal overdose of a painkiller Blackjack misidentifies as a recreational drug. One pony had its head blown clean off. Whoever did this must have been a really sick fucker. Oh god there's bright red blood all over the place. Oh fuck the lights are flickering. Then after the big reveal, it turns out the spooky murals and blood trails were poorly thought out halloween decorations. The loud bangs? Wind blowing the metal doors around loudly. Egg on the face. All the tragedy happened centuries ago and these ponies were jumping at shadows and other spooky stuff.

Maybe this isn't tragic enough. Maybe the mainframe AI thingy meant to protect this hospital has been crying and going crazy for 200 years stewing in its impotent rage after a power surge broke its ability to control turrets when Nurse Redheart needed it most. But once some idiot fixed the turrets 200 years late it decided "damn you ponies, you always destroy each other so die now. Life is a terminal illness, pain and misery are its symptoms, death is the cure". Or maybe "I am programmed to guard this area and kill everyone without a hall pass or level 3 security clearance".

Maybe it isn't sad enough. Maybe after Redheart kills kids and herself she finds out some unfinished magic circle Twilight or Fluttershy set up in the basement without permission or consent has been storing souls "for their own good, because once our Trapped Souls With Artificial Bodies project works we can cure death" but it was going to be completed one day after the bombs went off. So these kids and Cheerilee were trapped here in a soul container for no reason for 200 years. Maybe the kids could be mad at Cheerilee for aborting them instead of letting them thaw then letting them decide if they wanted to die here or take the risky journey to some potentially safer area? "I mean if you wanted to die anyway why not risk life for us?" A kid might say. Might be wrong to say that. Who knows? Something retarded about hope and sucide could be said here. Maybe right after Redheart dies, frens with medical shit show up. Egg on face. Cue tears. Maybe.

>>375426
>>375427
So there were two of you all along, eh? Well, to avoid confusion, I think I'm just going to call you Sven and the other one Sven.

>>375428
disregard that I suck cocks

>>375427
>checked out, me.
^^
>OC
I have no idea what that is.
>good observations
My ego wants it so I will take it but...
>better grammar
This is pure distortion. I've been envious of your range of expression for a while now. My writing always comes out stilted and awkward.
>>375435
^^
I'm six-point-five and there's two of me.
>>375446
You're bit hard on yourself. Regardless, I do too. Besides people who don't are just insecure of their inability to satisfy said penis. Penises are great. They inspire great architecture...
>pic
^^ I tried to draw an autistic hoers in response but my powers are... lacking.

>>375457
>lacking
What about that hoers isnt autistic
>>375446
Its a little late in the game to backpedal bruh, may as well just own it.
(not asserting "lul ur gay", am asserting "lol ur a sperg who says cringey shit")

>>375457
>I have no idea what that is.
Original content, and unless I'm terribly mistaken you've made little greentext posts in previous threads and also engaged in writefaggotry elsewhere on the board. That is what I'm referring to.
>This is pure distortion. I've been envious of your range of expression for a while now. My writing always comes out stilted and awkward.
I was going to argue with you on this point, but being as flattered as I am lazy I've chosen to accept your compliment.

>>375467
Nigel, for the life of me I can't understand why you keep on coming back here, though I suspect it's mostly because this is the last site on the internet that hasn't banned you besides furaffinity, apparently. I honestly don't care what you do either way, but if you do plan on sticking around for awhile, we should probably lay out some ground rules. Here is how this is going to work.

If you continue to make intelligent, concise, on-topic contributions to the review discussion, rendered as human-readable text, as you do here and here:
>>375380
>>375419
then you will continue to be treated like any other poster, and responded to where appropriate.

However, if you're going to start getting all Nigely again, as you have already done here, here and here:
>>375340
>>375428
>>375467
Then this is probably going to go the way it usually goes.

It's entirely your choice. However, if you're planning to choose the latter option, please let me know so I can get to work on Nigel: The Movie Part II.

>>375487
I thought after forming a healthy relationship I would come here to brag about it but then I didn't feel like doing that because I am in a healthy relationship. I am still in a healthy relationship but you were probably getting lonely. I wanted to know if the fimfic is still shit and if people here are still so gay about me they can't be normal in my presence. I don't care what people think of me so I don't care if you photoshop my OC into gay scenarios. You could probably offend multiple furries at once by stealing their porn and photoshopping my OC into it. Honestly I thought the last Nigel movie was pretty funny so let me know if you do another one.

>>375396

Chapter 7: Prices

>Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
>By Somber
>Chapter 7: Prices

Today's fortune cookie:
>“YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT. We take cash or credit.”

The chapter opens with a monologue from Blackjack. For the first time in the entire story, we are given a clear explanation of what "retiring" a male in Stable 99 actually entails:

>I’m a killer.
>The first pony I killed had been a male unicorn getting removed; that had been before I even got my cutie mark. I’d been told to tell him that he was now U-21 and ask him to report to security. I didn’t know what that meant at the time.
This is what I've suspected all along, but again, the author was ambiguous about it early on, so we could never be certain.

In any case, we now have a clear picture of exactly how the procedure works, so there is no ambiguity anymore. The male is apprehended by security, brought before the Overmare, read some sort of formal discharge paper, and then given a lethal injection. It's all very Logan's Run.

Anyway, BJ goes on, cataloguing all the deaths she's been responsible for so far. Apparently she was responsible for bringing four more males in for retirement; P-21 would have been her sixth total if she'd gone through with it.

She also mentions Scoodle:

>I hadn’t listened to her… no, that wasn’t true. I’d listened. I hadn’t believed her, and I’d been so full of myself that I was sure I could face anything the Wasteland had to offer. I thought that after forty-eight hours I knew more than a filly who’d spent her entire life on the surface. I was wrong. Dead wrong. But I was "lucky" enough that somepony else had been killed by my pride, arrogance, and stupidity.
In all fairness, BJ is being a little hard on herself here. As I observed at the time, Scoodle warned Blackjack about not touching anything in the boneyard, but she didn't bother to explain why.

>At Pony Joe’s I’d tried to turn Glory into a killer just like me. Mad? Upset? Scared? Kill somepony. Pick you right up. Of all the ponies I’d faced, though, the one that stuck with me was that poor bastard shitting himself, and me feeling so clever and cocky for sneaking up on him while he was occupied. I hadn’t learned one thing. I thought I’d changed. That I’d devoted myself to being the better pony. And then I smashed his head in with a baton. I’d thought he’d yell or attack or something. Red is dead. Execution by PipBuck.
Feeling regret about Scoodle and the males in Stable 99 I can understand; the latter case was a mistake that got a comrade killed, and the former was willful collaboration with a policy that she clearly thought was wrong. Her altercations with the raiders, however, were pretty much a kill-or-be-killed type of deal.

Much like its predecessor, this story has kind of a peculiar all-or-nothing take on morality. If killing one pony is wrong, then all killing must be wrong, even when there's clearly no other choice. This thinking creates a number of obvious contradictions that both Somber and kkat seem to have trouble reasoning out.

>Now I’d just killed forty more colts and fillies. Some had been sick; there was no question of that. Letting them live would have been… what? Who the fuck am I to judge if a pony deserves to die? How did I know the Enclave couldn’t have helped them? Or the Collegiate? Or… somepony? Fluttershy said to do better. Better for me was increasing my body count. And the final twist? I ended up with my body completely healed. I felt great.
BJ seems to have learned the wrong lesson from this experience.

There was never any ideal solution to this problem. The forty colts and fillies were dealt a bad hand by life, and that sucks, but from what it sounds like, there was probably nothing that could have been done for them. They would have wound up dead one way or the other. By putting them into suspended animation, Fluttershy was essentially just kicking the can down the road. As a result of her indecision, the foals suffered tortures far worse than what they would have endured if Fluttershy had simply allowed them to die in the first place.

The can that Fluttershy kicked ultimately came to Blackjack, who made the final decision to pull the plug. As was discussed here [>>375410 ] and here [>>375420 ], there was never really much of a decision. BJ's options were to either do what Fluttershy ought to have done 200 years ago, or else do what she actually did and kick the can down the road for someone else to deal with: the Enclave, or the Collegiate, or someone else.

The problem here is, again, her interpretation of morality in terms of absolutes:

>Who the fuck am I to judge if a pony deserves to die?
Nobody lives or dies because they deserve to. Instead of looking at this through a lens of "right" and "wrong," it's better to look at it in terms of actions and consequences.

Some terminally ill foals, who apparently could not even be cured by this setting's unreasonably overpowered healing magic, were put into suspended animation by Fluttershy, because her conscience wouldn't permit her to let children die. As a result, they spent 200 years in a state of fully-conscious living death, and ultimately went insane and became killers themselves. Fluttershy's good intentions don't matter; her actions created a worse result than the one she was trying to avoid.

>Fluttershy said to do better.
If BJ had followed Fluttershy's example, she would have left the foals in the same torturous suspended animation they'd suffered through for two centuries. Maybe the Enclave would have come along eventually, and maybe their technology could have cured whatever was wrong with them 200 years ago. But at that point it hardly matters; they still would have been insane killers.

There were no good options in this situation, but in any case BJ misses the point. It wasn't her responsibility to deal with this mess, but she dealt with it. Fluttershy, who actually was responsible, couldn't do that, and her indecision only made things worse.

>>375488
>you were probably getting lonely
>if people here are still so gay about me they can't be normal in my presence
I see you're still a narcissist, and that you're still missing the point.

Nobody here is obsessed with you or gay for you as you believe. Apart from the times when you're here causing trouble, nobody on this site thinks about you at all. As I have explained to you countless times, the shitty responses you get are a direct consequence of your own shitty behavior. We've all witnessed the Nigel Cycle playing itself out many times before: you show up, behave yourself for a little bit, then start plastering the site with nonsense until people start unloading on you. It always ends the same way: with you throwing a massive tantrum and "leaving for good." You can't reasonably blame anyone for assuming this is just the start of a new cycle.

At this point, everyone on this site knows who you are and has made up their minds about you. Opinions are basically divided between those who see you as an obnoxious shitposter that staff should have permabanned years ago, and those who see you as an autistic lolcow who's fun to screw with. Everyone else just ignores you. This situation is the cumulative result of your long history of toxic behavior on this site, and you have no one to blame for it but yourself. We've gone over all of this many times before, so there's no sense going over it again in detail.

In any case, it doesn't matter. If you want to stay, then please at least try to behave yourself. If you want to go, then best of luck to you wherever you land. Your time on this earth is yours to do with as you please.

>>375489

Blackjack wraps up her inner monologue by concluding that she is a "cleaner, healthier raider with better aim." Her feelings of guilt make sense, but it seems like she's being harder on herself than is warranted.

The situation with Scoodle was an accident, and in the situation with the foals there were no good options. As far as the males in Stable 99 go, it's nothing to be proud of, but at the same time she was just doing her job. She's no more culpable than anyone else who lived in the same Stable and abided by the same policies. Apart from those incidents, she's mostly just killed enemies in battle. The overall merits of her actions so far could be debated I guess, but I don't personally think she's done anything beyond the pale and anyway, Littlepoop was worse :DDDDD.

Anyway, P-21 comes up and asks her if she's okay, and she says that yes, she's okay, even though she's clearly not okay. The scene ends in a page break.

Next, she negotiates a deal between the Collegiate and the Society. The basic deal is that the Collegiate gets to conduct research, or whatever they're trying to do exactly, in the upper floors of the hospital, but in return they have to provide medical aid to anyone who needs it, including Prince Whoever's comatose father. The Society gets first dibs on any technological breakthroughs that the Collegiate might discover, and in return they will stand guard around the hospital and provide protection to the Collegiate while they conduct their research. I'm not sure how tough we should really expect the Society to be, since they couldn't even handle a few murderous orphans on their own, nor could they handle the Collegiate themselves, who ought to have been a pushover if they need the Society to protect them. But, I guess we'll put a pin in that for now.

Anywho, with all that out of the way, the party collects payment and moves on. Morning Glory appears to have found a battle saddle somewhere, so she's got that now, though it looks like she doesn't yet know how to use it.

>My head crashed over and over with what I’d done, pushing the mystery of EC-1101 from the forefront of my thoughts.
Honestly, she should feel worse about this sentence than about the murders.

>Maybe I should have turned the kids over to the Collegiate. No… while they’d been fascinated by the notes I’d found, they’d been relieved that I’d disposed of the foals. Not their problem. The Society? Same. Everypony was glad they didn’t have to deal with forty traumatized and dying young.
All the more reason she deserves commendation for being the only person horse, whatever in the room willing to step up and deal with the situation. The crazy robo-orphans were a hot potato that nobody wanted to touch; kudos to BJ for taking the initiative.

Anyway, tl;dr she's still in a bad mood.

>I was so angry I felt like a broken Sparkle-Cola bottle.
Honestly, she should be angrier about this lame simile.

>“Shut up,” I snapped, and I was glad to see him angry. Because he was about to say it wasn’t my fault. If it wasn’t my fault, was it his for leaving the choice up to me? Glory’s for not stopping me? The Enclave for reconnecting the maneframe to the maintenance robots? Redheart? Fluttershy? Should I just blame ponies who fucked up two centuries before I was even born? Celestia? Zebras? Who was to blame? Who had to pay for what I’d done?
It literally was Fluttershy, all of it. She's the one who developed a system for entombing the minds of orphans in their own paralyzed bodies until they went insane, and she's the one who authorized its use.

>Somepony had to pay the price. Better me than P-21. Maybe if he was smart he’d ditch me before I got him killed. They’d be better off together without me. Perhaps in a few months they’d find me frothing mad, psychotic, and put me down.
Oh, give it a rest, Emo McGee. Seriously though, if this is the end result you're looking for, you could always just plug yourself into one of Fluttershy's orphan-sarcophagi for a couple of centuries and see how you turn out.

Anyway, while she's moping, she inadvertently leads them into an ambush. It's a pretty standard deal: couple of raiders hiding out in an abandoned trailer. One opens fire on them with a shotgun, the other is armed with a pool cue still not sure how or why a horse would play pool, but we'll put a pin in that for now.

>Out came the automatic pistol and S.A.T.S. popped up. Four shots to Shotgun’s head. Execute. Then I noticed that instead of turning his head into meaty goo, the two shots that hit just sparkled off his hide. Shit. I’d forgotten I’d loaded the clips with shock rounds: great against robots, but lousy against everything else.
Kind of a pain in the ass when you have to deal with twenty different types of ammo. Might be easier to just pick one type of weapon and specialize, instead of just picking up every single firearm you come across and lugging it around the Wasteland with you.

Anyway, she kills the pool-cue raider by stabbing him in the eye with his own pool cue, and then uses his body to block the next blast from the shotgun. Glory is fiddling with her battle-saddle, trying to get it to work. Then, P-21, who I guess is just standing around while all of this is happening, points out a sniper on a nearby hill.

BJ runs into the trailer and beats the shotgun-raider to death with her baton. When she comes back out, Glory is flying around chasing another pair of raiders, that I guess came from somewhere. She doesn't have especially good aim with the saddle, but she's doing a good job of keeping them occupied. BJ takes the opportunity to headshot one of them with her pistol. The second one tries to throw a grenade at her, but she uses magic to yank the pin while it's still in his mouth. His head explodes, and that's all they wrote of him.

Meanwhile, the sniper takes a shot at her, misses, and she goes charging after him. He runs, and leads her into a camp with four more raiders.

>>375491

One of the raiders in the camp levitates an SMG, so BJ smacks her horn with the baton until she drops it. Then, BJ picks it up and uses it to mow down the remaining raiders, except for the unicorn with the broken horn. It sounds like she kills a grand total of eight of them.

With all of that out of the way, BJ now observes that there are some chained-up prisoners in the raider camp.

>“They’re slavers,” the lead pony in the chain said as he stared hard at the unicorn.
>“Slavers?” I asked, frowning in confusion. The lead pony looked a little concerned that I didn’t recognize the term. “I thought they were raiders.”
Yeah, I remember being a little confused about this distinction myself.

>“Not much difference except in levels of crazy,” he muttered. “Not every Wastelander is a psychopathic cannibal,” he said as he looked at my stable barding. “Slavers round up ponies and sell us to places like Paradise, Appleloosa, or Fillydelphia.” The gray pony glared at the squirming unicorn. I knew that glare. “They work a pony to death, and it doesn’t take long.”
Apparently, the distinction is that slavers have an actual, logical reason for doing what they do that makes sense in-world. Raiders, by contrast, are just generic goons who go around murdering ponies because reasons, and spend their free time pissing and shitting all over their own residences, also because reasons.

Apparently, this is a line for BJ. It seems the idea of someone trying to make a living through disreputable yet practical means enrages Blackjack even more than the raiders' purposeless acts of wanton destruction. She reloads the SMG with explosive rounds I am not exactly a firearms expert, but this feels like a bad idea and puts the barrel up against the unicorn's eye.

>I could almost forgive raiders now; they were at least crazy. She’d chosen to perpetuate this nightmare. Her life was forfeit! I just had to end her. End everything. Make it nine!
Again, even though she's clearly a little worked up, I can't say I understand her thinking here. The slavers aren't exactly involved in a reputable trade, but at least their motivations make sense. Nothing has ever made sense about the raiders.

Anyway, she's about to pull the trigger, when suddenly a thought occurs to her:

>Be strong. Be kind.
Yes, it would seem that it's this unicorn's lucky day well, aside from being permanently horn-crippled I guess. Apparently moved by some slogans she read on a couple of action figures she found, BJ has a sudden change of heart. It would seem that Applejack, who has barely been mentioned at all in this story, and Fluttershy, who I would once again like to stress is directly responsible for trapping forty orphans in their own bodies for two centuries and driving them mad, have somehow set good enough examples that BJ reconsiders her decision to rapid-fire an entire clip of explosive rounds into the unicorn's cute widdle eyeball. The "Dear Princess Celestia" letter practically writes itself.

Ultimately, BJ decides that eight murders is enough for today well, forty-eight if you want to be technical, and lets the ninth one go free, on the condition that she never, ever do anything this naughty again. She agrees, and the deal is concluded.

With all that nasty business out of the way, P-21 suggests that it might be time to unlock the chained ponies. However, it would seem BJ has better things to do:

> I walked away from the slaver camp. I found a rock, pressed my face to it, wrapping my forehooves around it, and I wept, choked, and sobbed. Then I felt a hoof stroking along my mane. I peeked up at Morning Glory as she gave me a soft smile.
>“You did the right thing,” she said gently.
Over the top violence, check. Maudlin emotional bullshit, check. If Somber can just work in a goofy moral backed by questionable reasoning, I might just have Fallout Equestria Bingo here.

>“Yes,” she replied as she looked back at me. “What she did was wrong. Killing her won’t undo it. But she’s still alive and she’ll have to make a choice. Maybe she’ll choose to stop. Maybe she’ll convince others to stop. Maybe she won’t. No matter what, we’re not going to make the Wasteland any better by killing everypony. Even if we really think they deserve it.”
>“I’m no different from her,” I muttered softly, voicing the poisonous words.
>“How can you say that?”
>“Because it’s true. I’ll kill anypony if my Eyes Forward Sparkle says to. Red it’s dead. Yellow be mellow. Right?” I felt disgusted at my supposed wit.
>“Was she red or yellow?” Glory asked as she lay down and crossed her forelimbs.
>“Huh?”
>She nodded in the direction the slaver had fled. “Was she red or yellow when you spared her?”
>“I…” I frowned. “I don’t remember. I don’t think I checked.”
>“So you chose to spare her. Not your PipBuck,” Glory said with a little cock of her head that made me smile. “You’re a killer, Blackjack, but you’re not a raider. You can choose. You care enough to choose.”
"Dear Princess Celestia: Today I learned that it's okay to kill eight ponies, as long as you let the ninth one go free after permanently crippling her. Also, I learned that it's wrong to kill just because your PipBuck tells you to. You should listen to your heart, because that's the only way you'll truly know whether or not a pony deserves mercy or an unspeakably gruesome death."

Yep, pretty sure that's a Bingo.

>She was right. I could choose. I chose to kill forty colts and fillies. No pep talk or show of mercy would change that. There was a price to be paid for being a killer. I was going to pay for it.
How much?

Anywho, after a page break, they go back to the slaver camp and unchain all the ponies. They divide up the slavers' weapons amongst the prisoners. For some reason, the freed ponies all wander off in different directions instead of traveling in a group, which is probably how they got captured in the first place. Oh well, it's not as if intelligent NPCs have ever been a staple of this setting.

>>375493

One of the NPCs is named Frisk, and he advises BJ to look him up if she ever makes it as far south as Flank. He assures her that he will "put in a good word" for her. I have no idea what this means or with whom he intends to put in a good word, but I'm assuming this will be significant at some point in the future.

Things get a little autismo from here. Morning Glory uses one of the slaver's knives to decapitate one of the dead slavers. Blackjack is all like wtf, and Glory explains that she wants to dissect his brain to see if there are any abnormalities that could explain raider behavior. The text made an explicit point of mentioning that this last batch of enemies were slavers, and not raiders, and because this distinction apparently matters in this setting, Glory's actions seem even more bizarre. However, I guess we'll just have to put a pin in that for now. MG is now collecting severed raider heads, so she can dissect their brains later. Righty-o.

At this point, the text abruptly segues from this discussion of brain-dissection into another fight, in what is probably one of the most awkwardly-written passages I've come across so far:

>The fight with the raiders proved terribly short. Nine. Almost disappointing. Ten. There were only four of them and they didn’t have a gun between them. Eleven. Glory got her second head and looked decidedly happy about the fact. Twelve.
I had to read this four times before I understood what the fuck is going on. At first it looks like there are nine raiders, then suddenly there are ten, then four, then eleven, then one of them gets decapitated, then suddenly there are twelve. However, the numbers BJ keeps shouting out are actually a continuation of her count from earlier. She killed eight slavers; the unicorn would have been number nine, but she let that one go. This current fight is against four raiders, so when she finishes them all off, her grand total stands at twelve. Glad we got that all sorted out. Unfortunately, this isn't the last we'll see of this autism with the counting.

Anyway, when she's done tallying up dead raiders, she turns on the radio. She is worried about being further lionized by the DJ, but it seems like the DJ has moved on to more enticing mares:

>Occasionally he referenced other ponies fighting the good fight all across Equestria. One that he called the ‘Stable Dweller’ seemed to have completely shut down a town of slavers. Now that was impressive.
This confirms that the timeline of this story runs concurrently with that of kkat's original. We're on Ch. 7 currently, and the events the DJ is referencing would place us somewhere between chapters 7 and 8 of kkat's story.

>I doubted the Stable Dweller would ever kill a room full of helpless ponies.
Clearly there's a lot you don't know about the Stable Dweller.

Anyway, as soon as she's done gushing about the "Stable Dweller," the DJ resumes gushing about Blackjack. Her latest exploits are recounted in detail. Bizarrely, a soundbite is also included:

>I froze dead in my tracks as my voice, slightly strained and tinny, played out from my PipBuck. “Get the fuck out of here. Find another line of work. Tell every slaver you know to find another line of work. I see you doing this shit again and I will turn you into paint! Do you understand me? Do you fucking understand me?!” Followed by her cry of ‘Yes!’ Did I really sound like that?
I have no idea how or when this audio would have been recorded, or how the recording would have ended up in the hands of the DJ. Blackjack, for whatever reason, is not even remotely curious about it; her reaction is just the usual "aw shucks, it weren't nothin'" routine.

However, it seems that there's a bit more to what's eating her than just basic humility. She still feels guilty about the foals I guess, and this seems to be feeding into deeper-rooted concerns about the overall morality of her actions so far:

>“I’m not a fucking hero!” I yelled at him, so angry I was glad that I wasn’t holding a gun. Thirteen. Oh wait… I was… “I kill ponies that try and kill me or try and kill ponies who don’t deserve it! I didn’t kill those slavers because they were evil and wrong! I shot them because they shot first and my PipBuck was red.” Thirteen… “If I hadn’t chased after that sniper I wouldn’t have had a clue there were slaves up there at all!” I said, watching their smiles vanish, seeing the gun tremble in my magical grip.
Ironically, Blackjack's problem seems to be the exact opposite of Littlepip's in the original.

My whole issue with LP was that she came across as an insane megalomaniac, but neither she nor the author ever seemed to pick up on this aspect of her character. She spent the whole book running around the Wasteland, indiscriminately picking fights with random strangers according to some vague moral code, the tenets of which were never explained. It was never clear what she believed in, or why she believed in it; all we knew was that she was driven by an obsessive desire to "do good" and "fix things," and in her view, as well as the author's, this apparently justified every insane, destructive, reprehensible thing she did. What's more, her reckless behavior was praised everywhere she went.

Blackjack is almost her complete opposite. There are no delusions of grandeur here; this is just a regular-ass Stable pony who, through no serious fault of her own, keeps ending up in dangerous situations and reacting accordingly. She's consumed by guilt because of all the ponies she's had to kill, but every kill she's made so far has been in self defense or out of necessity. But, here's the kicker: the reason she feels guilty is because she killed reactively, or in self defense, instead of self-righteously seeking out the world's villains and gunning them down in cold blood. In other words, this horse feels guilty because she doesn't have any of the traits that made Littlepip such a reprehensible protagonist.

>>375558

Since the DJ just brought it up, let's compare Blackjack's actions so far with those of the "Stable Dweller."

At this point in the original FoE, Littlepip had just arrived in New Appleoosa, after being accidentally shot by Calamity. She learns that New Appleoosa uses the rail line to trade with the nearby settlement of Old Appleoosa, who are primarily in the business of buying and selling slaves. LP sweet-talks the train caravan into giving her a ride up to Old Appleoosa, and once there she proceeds to infiltrate the town, gun down nearly everyone who lives there, and free their captive slaves. She then hijacks the train and rides it back to New Appleoosa. Along the way it derails and crashes. She sends the freed slaves back to New Appleoosa, along with a message ordering the town's leader to take them on as a burden and care for them, while she goes on her merry way. She offers the town no compensation, no explanation for her actions, and no apology for the disruption of the town's only trade route.

Neither LP nor the author ever attempts to clarify why she did any of this. LP actually has no tangible objectives at this point in the story, other than "find Velvet Remedy," which is a goal she has long since given up on (though incidentally she does come across Velvet by chance while in the process of terrorizing Appleoosa). As far as I can tell, kkat's reasoning is that "slavery is bad and everyone reading already understands this, so everything LP does is self-explanatory."

Whatever anyone might think about the ethics of slavery, it's a fact that LP's attack on New Appleoosa was completely unprovoked, and it also caused a great deal of collateral damage. However, she never questions the morality of what she did, nor does any other character in the story. The closest anyone ever comes is the town leader, who bans her from New Appleoosa despite agreeing in principle with what she did.

Now let's take a look at Blackjack.

At this point, she has two clear objectives: figure out what the deal with this EC-1101 file is, and find and defeat this Sanguine person who ordered the invasion of her Stable. Her pursuit of the first goal leads her to Megamart. There, she learns that the Finders can decode the file for her, but the price is 10,000 caps. She takes on a series of contracts in order to earn the money she needs. One of her contracts leads her to an abandoned weather station, where she meets Morning Glory. After MG joins the party, the trio decides to wipe out the raider hive that had attacked and killed MG's companions.

When this is done, the group moves on to their next contract, which involves clearing "squatters" out of an abandoned hospital. When they arrive, they encounter two entrenched factions who are at odds with each other. The contract was put out by one faction hoping to oust the other.

After meeting briefly with the two factions, BJ decides to explore the upper stories of the hospital, believing that if she clears out whatever enemy is up there, she will be able to broker an arrangement that will be amenable to both parties and collect a nice paycheck in the process. While exploring this area, she discovers that the "enemy" is actually just a bunch of foals who were put into suspended animation by Fluttershy 200 years in the past. They have since gone insane.

For reasons unknown, Fluttershy gave these foals the ability to plug into the hospital's maneframe system and manipulate its maintenance robots. The insane foals have been using these robots to murder anyone who happens to venture into their domain. Though she feels sorry for the foals, Blackjack realizes that the only viable option is to put them out of their misery and prevent them from doing any more harm, so she shuts down their life support machines and kills them.

The contrast in quality between these story arcs should be obvious to anyone. Littlepip, a character with no goals or motivations to begin with, undertakes a series of destructive and dangerous actions for no obvious reason. There is no deep soul-searching on her part; while she seems to feel bad, at least in a general way, about all the ponies she had to kill, she never once questions her basic right to do what she did.

Blackjack, by contrast, sets out with a clear set of goals. In the process of trying to accomplish these goals, she encounters situations that force her to take actions she is not comfortable with. Whether or not she made the right choices can be debated, but what's important is that her reasons are clear to the reader, and they make sense. She attacked the raider band because they had supplies she wanted and because she wanted to help Glory get revenge for her friends. She went into the hospital because she was hired to do so. She killed the foals because it was the most humane option.

She comes across as more sympathetic and admirable than Littlepip, because even though her actions would probably seem reasonable to most people, at least under the circumstances, she still feels guilt and questions her own motivations.

Now, that said, I personally find her angsty whining in this chapter so far to be tiresome. I also disagree with how she's thinking about this. Consider this line:

>I kill ponies that try and kill me or try and kill ponies who don’t deserve it! I didn’t kill those slavers because they were evil and wrong! I shot them because they shot first and my PipBuck was red.
This is an extremely silly thing to feel guilty about. If someone attacks you with obvious deadly intent, defending yourself is a sane and normal response. Their reasons for attacking you don't matter. It may not be necessary to kill them in order to protect yourself, but at the same time, if you leave them alive there's a chance they can still hurt you. If mercy or some personal code of ethics compels you to spare your attacker that's one thing, but I think most sensible people would agree that you have no obligation to.

>>375490
Posting off-topic is only a bad thing when Nigel does it. When anyone else freaks out and screams Nigel at the sight of a british flag, that's normal for this site and nobody bats an eye. Such tiresome hypocrisy. Maybe the clowns will call this observation a conspiracy, leftists love that tactic and most people on this site are just leftists in spirit. But it's okay. I don't really respect anyone here. Except glim, he's good at reviewing dogshit pony fanfiction. I wish other people here were good at stuff. But I still don't respect him enough to care what he or anyone else thinks of me. Hopefully if I leave the thread gays will stop derailing it.

>>376005
>Hopefully if I leave the thread gays will stop derailing it.
>*derails thread*
lmao, never change, Nigel.

Anyway, I'll probably be getting back to this review as well as my other thread sometime later this week.

Eh, it makes sense for MG to dissect a normal raider first. Even if we assume that whatever education she had in the enclave included anatomy lessons and a dissection she probably never saw the insides of a non-pegasus before. You want a template so you can spot abnormalities. I mean for all we know a unicorn brain has a bunch of magic crystals or some shit inside.
What makes less sense is the decapitation, the central nervous system includes the spinal cord and even if you ignore that you can just crack a skull open without taking if off the body. I did so. Well unless she intends to carry a bunch of brain jars around which would be funny.
Also, if my memory of reading this probably as it came out serves (fuck I'm old) this will develop into an important plotpoint and lead to BJ doing something that is supposed to be considered horrific and BJ will feel bad about it (wow just like the murderfoals!) but you'll laugh about it. Then again I might mix it up with the other FOE stories, it's been over a decade.
In conclusion somber does seem to have prewritten several threads and the crew does come across them but due to the readers lacking information as much as BJ and company do things don't make sense even from the perspective of a reader with information on FOE, Fallout, MLP and the concept of a gun.

One thing I just realized: Over here none of the main characters are wastelanders. You have selftaught hacker and professional whore P-21, 3 INT 10 STR BJ and bleeding heart medic MG. Littlepip was at least a technician (a job that requires more brainpower than smash thing with stick) and pretty much right away got Calamity as a permanent companion, who has a ton of wastelander and enclave experience.

>>373145
>We were recycled
Soylent Green is PONIES
>>373145
>hereditary jobs
Pretty obvs. that Somber was just vying for a reasonable start to the story, as opposed to a cohesive and well-thought-out explanation for thinga
>>373291
>I used to complain about stuff like this, until I started writing horse-fiction of my own and discovered that it really is a gigantic pain in the ass. You have to rethink nearly every action a character could perform based on them being in an equine body, and on top of that, you have three varieties of equine bodies to deal with
Right? Ppl be like "Its just like with ppl, but ponies". Nah. No it isnt. Theres logistical questions that cant be deferred without losing credibility.
>Since the canon setting is basically a world populated by horses that use tools and dwellings obviously designed for humans, it's virtually impossible to produce a satisfactory explanation for every single action
Preach! Er,.. cook!
>However, the issue of how ponies living in post-apocalyptic bunker conditions would be able to grow and cultivate tobacco, let alone roll it into cigars, is a whole other thing entirely
Lets just file tobacco cultivation under the pretense of 'something that was once grazed, but was further cultivated cuz reasons'
>>373293
>spending the rest of your life not getting laid, which presumably some guys can't handle
Consider the target audience
>>373576
>This paragraph is all over the place, and it's not really clear what BJ's priorities are right now
Ngl, I feel that lends credence to the story. So far, it feels like a story that starts with a rando in a particular (but not egregious) context, being led toward the actual story
>>373580
>I'm sorry, but her behavior here does not make sense.
I mean,... Im surprised that its gotten this far before a major incontinuity error
>>373594
>dropping a .38 revolver in the process
Acktshually, that calibur is registered as either .38 special, or .380
>the raiders in this story are cannibalistic
Based, just saying
>I'm not quite sure what's supposed to be happening here, but this sounds like bullshit
Cuz it is
>My understanding is that the whole point of a revolver is that it's not supposed to jam up like this
It isn't. Like you suggest,
the amount of negligence that would cause this level of mechanical failure is absurd
>they should retrieve this file and see if they can use it to lure the mercenaries away
A very dubious conclusion, but okay
>what happens next
Should I be surprised anymore?
>>373738
>Marmalade accuses Blackjack of harlotry
>Ur a hoe
Quality
>EC-1101 transferred
Macguffin acquired
>Yeah, I have absolutely no fucking idea what's going on anymore
Pretty sure the Macguffin is searching for a wifi signal
>It didn't make sense in kkat's story, and it doesn't make sense now
Oh please, we all know Qanon shaman marked a few desks while he was in there
>>374316
>Seriously, nigger, don't do shit like this
Oh come on, let him glory-fag for a moment, while this turns into a GTA flashback (what? You put "I ran" on,...)
>You've never been outside before, remember?
Oh, just write it off as "the left" or "the right". Hardly the best point to draw contention on

(break)

Spoiler-free:
Anyone with concerns about caps as a currency, you're gonna like the next part. Also, Somber might be a little based given his(?) scripting of Usury

>>375559

>If I hadn’t chased after that sniper I wouldn’t have had a clue there were slaves up there at all!
Similar issue here. The sniper fired on her and ran, so she chased after him. When she caught him, she came across some other members of his party. They were part of the group that was attacking her, so she reasonably saw them as enemies and killed them too. She hasn't done anything beyond the pale from what I can see.

Here is what's going on: Blackjack is basically upset with herself because she killed an attacker in self defense, and is now being lionized for it because it turns out the attackers were slavers. However, she had no idea these ponies were slavers, she was only shooting back because they shot at her first. She feels guilty because she was only reacting to the situation, not meting out some kind of righteous justice as the DJ is implying.

Now, here is my concern: there is a subtle implication that the opposite situation, ie BJ attacking and killing the slavers because they are slavers, even if they hadn't actually shot first, would somehow have been better. This is basically how Littlepip behaved during the Appleoosa arc: she attacked and killed the slavers of Appleoosa because she morally disapproved of what they were doing, not because they were a threat to her or to anyone she cared about. Blackjack is essentially comparing herself unfavorably to Littlepip; or, more accurately, Somber seems to be comparing his character unfavorably to kkat's.

One reason I enjoy doing these fanfic reviews is that analyzing the mistakes of popular authors can help subsequent authors avoid similar pitfalls. As I've said, I get the impression that many fanfic authors are just taking their inspiration from other fanfic authors, so they tend to absorb each others' mistakes. Project Horizons is not great literature by any stretch of the imagination, but my observation so far has been that Somber has taken kkat's basic formula and improved on it. However, Somber likely took his inspiration from kkat, and probably looks up to kkat to some degree (misguided though that may be). It's possible he wanted to create a more Littlepip-like character, and has realized that he's missed this mark with Blackjack. The reason he missed the mark is that he actually wound up creating a better character, but he may not actually see it that way; if he tries to jam this character into a more Littlepip-like role, he's only going to be shooting himself in the foot.

I want to stress that the actual moral question under debate here is not really all that important. The issue is basically whether or not vigilantism is morally justified, and a writer could take either position and still create a good, likable character that reflects their position. Batman, or Rorschach from the Watchmen if you want a more extreme example, are clearly vigilante characters, and both are well-known and well-liked. If you placed either of them in FoE, they would probably make the same choice as Littlepip: take down the slaver town even though the slavers hadn't directly attacked them.

However, while Batman and Rorschach are generally seen as sympathetic, likable characters, Littlepip comes across as psychotic, unhinged and frankly detestable. Why? The reason is basically what I detailed above: Littlepip has no real motivation for doing what she does, nor does she have any character traits that make her especially likable for any other reason.

Batman fights crime because his parents were killed by criminals; this is a clear and understandable motivation. He refuses to kill because he considers this to be the line that separates vigilantism from criminality. This is a personal code that shapes and defines his character. From this simple set of attributes, an entire complex character has been created and reinterpreted over the decades.

Rorschach takes this character concept further. It's been a long time since I've read Watchmen, but iirc his backstory is that he was a troubled child from a poor background, who developed a sense of justice in response to the horrible things that happened in his own life and that he saw going on in the world around him. This leads him to take on the role of a vigilante, and while he initially struggles with the same moral questions as Batman, ie whether killing criminals would make him as evil as the evil he's trying to fight, Rorschach ultimately reaches the opposite conclusion. After a particularly gruesome case, he concludes that the only way to fight darkness is to become the darkness. He adopts an uncompromising, utterly ruthless moral absolutism; he doesn't want to punish evil, he wants to destroy it.

For writers, the specifics of a character's values are far less important than why they hold the values that they hold. A character should be a complete personality; the reader should never be in doubt about why they took a specific action. If Rorschach were the protagonist of FoE, he would likely have annihilated the slaver village as well; however, there would be no question of why he did it.

As a side note, there's actually an amusing bit of irony here. Alan Moore is a notorious leftist, and he designed Rorschach as a criticism of the kind of extreme, uncompromising moralism that underpins the vigilante ethos. He was trying to create an unlikable character, but he wound up writing him so well that his efforts had the opposite effect: Rorschach wound up being the character that most readers loved and sympathized with. Conversely, kkat clearly wrote Littlepip as a hero, but she was such a poorly-constructed character that the effect was also the opposite of what was intended: she came across as an insane, ruthless psychopath who was impossible to like or sympathize with or at least that was my reaction; fans of the series seem to disagree with me on this point.

>>376221

Anyway fuck; I'm getting off-topic here.

To summarize: Blackjack is now mired in some kind of crisis of conscience over whether or not she was justified in killing all of the ponies she's had to kill so far, and the DJ is making it worse by lionizing her as some kind of hero. This stands in direct contrast to her in-world counterpart Littlepip, who kills the crap out of nearly everyone she meets, and is also lionized as a hero, but never questions her right to do any of it. Meanwhile, both of these whorses stand in direct contrast to Alan Moore's Rorschach, who would have killed the same ponies as either of these two, while actively disdaining the very thought of having a moral crisis about anything. Now that we've got all that cleared up, let's get back to the story.

There is a page break. When we rejoin Blackjack, she is in a strange room and has no idea how she got there.

>The room was small but neatly organized. A desk in one corner with a terminal. A safe. A shelf holding numerous books. A refrigerator in the second corner. Wastebasket. Then the cot I occupied in the third corner. I saw a toilet and sink through one open door.
Not even a single skeleton in here? How creepy.

>A faded plastic banner hung near the ceiling reading ‘Megamart, always lowest prices, always highest quality’. Lowest prices…
In the previous scene, she appeared to be close to having some kind of mental breakdown. So far it's looking like she passed out, and was probably carried back to Megamart by her two hapless companions, which would make sense since I believe that's where they were headed anyway.

>There were other things too. Little hints of a world before this one. The Megamart employee of the year had been somepony named Boxcars. There was a little award for record profits selling ‘canned and preserved foods and ammunition’. A strange photograph of two groups of soldiers in the parking lot, one in green combat armor and the other… zebras with red stripes? A curly-maned mare with purple glasses bumped hooves with a red zebra filly. The caption read ‘Macintosh’s Marauders invade Megamart with the Red Stripes. Great deals ensue.’
This was a recurring problem I had with the original FoE. I can understand this world's various ruined, uninhabited locations being more or less preserved as they were at the moment the megaspells went off, and hence there still being a lot of old photographs and wartime propaganda on the walls. However, for locations like this, that have since been taken over and repurposed, it makes no sense.

The Finders have been using this building as their headquarters for the last 200 years, but they left all of the original wall hangings and furniture intact? Never bothered to move any of it around, or at least get rid of it since it wouldn't suit their purposes?

I mean, if the world ended in a nuclear holocaust tomorrow, and I wound up moving into the local Wal Mart because it was the only building in the area that wasn't destroyed, I'd at least feng shui things around a little; I wouldn't keep everything exactly the way the store's management had left it. If we were to fast-forward 200 years, it would probably be safe to assume that countless individuals or families would have occupied that structure by then, with each of them modifying it to suit their purposes. It likely wouldn't even resemble a Wal Mart at all, and that's assuming it hadn't been torn down and replaced with a newer building.

Anyway, yada yada yada, it turns out that BJ is indeed back at the Finders' headquarters in Megamart. The specifics of how she got there are left vague; presumably it's something close to what I described above.

Bottlecap, the mare we met earlier, who I guess is the Megamart's assistant manager or something, is in the office. She explains to BJ that her friends dumped her off in here, collected payment for the various contracts they fulfilled, stripped BJ of her barding, and carried it off to have it repaired.

Bottlecap also has some advice for BJ on her present moral crisis:
>“Hero.” She said the word almost with disdain. “The Wasteland is no place for heroes. It chews heroes up and swallows them. They burn out, burn up, or change for the worse. The price of being a hero is just too high in the Wasteland,” Bottlecap said as she sat, looking at me with a warm smile. “I think you are an individual and judge you accordingly, instead of holding you to some romantic ideal of how I think you should act.”

BJ still seems a bit manic under the surface, but for the time being she decides to accept this. Their conversation turns to...what I am going to generously call "practical" matters:

>“What are you working on?”
>“Finding a way to keep the Megamart in business,” she replied as she looked at the numbers. “The same thing I do every day. Your work on the Manehattan Highway gave us some wiggle room, but we’re bleeding trade month after month.”
>“Really? I’m sorry you’re losing money.” I knew less about business than I did terminals and medicine. My condolences seemed to amuse her.
What the hell is this place, some kind of chain? If she doesn't turn a profit every month the Finders won't be able to make rent payments on this ruined building in no-man's-land that they occupy? If she doesn't sell her monthly quota of machine gun rounds then Finder Corporate is going to shut this location down, and then the Raiders or the Enclave or some other faction will take over the building and put a Quiznos here? Seriously, wtf? This hands down the goofiest, most illogical post-apocalyptic setting I've ever encountered.

>>376222
>Anyway fuck; I'm getting off-topic here.
Yeah ya are
>If she doesn't turn a profit every month the Finders won't be able to make rent payments on this ruined building in no-man's-land that they occupy?
Well, if you'da kept reading,....
Ngl, the whole "everything is bad an (author) should feel bad" schtik works for most fanfics and maybe it works for his one? Maybe its a personal thing? In any case, at the risk of being contrary you might enjoy he story a bit more if you didnt seem to be looking so hard for reasons to not enjoy it.
For example, that bit about the 200y/o employee of the month.
Does it make logical sense? No. Should i have been removed, rewritten, etc.? Obviously.
Having said, when one reads fanfiction with the intent of enjoying it, they can ignore, skip over, and disregard unnecessary shit. Case in point, I completely glossed over the description of place and filed it under "Yeah, yeah, its old and dingy like the rest of everything."
It can also be useful to retcon or head-cannon preferrable narratives or courses of action/sequence.
For example, one can pretend that half of the unnecessary dialogue hasn't happened, while maintaining the necessary stuff. You're basically retaining the cliff notes version as head canon, an if you WANT you can go back and retcon/rewrite a better story, but obvious gaffes and poorly executed this that and the other aside, so far this one is shaping up to be the first fic that is enjoyable on it's face.

Anyway, they're literally about to explain why turning a profit is important. This is like when someone is doing a video breakdown of a thing, describing shit in detail, but they keep stopping the video to complain about how 'this' doesnt make sense for 5 minutes, when 20 seconds after the pause the thing is explained or seen to make sense after all.
Not saying it is ALWAYS the case, just saying this is one. Low hanging fruit, my dude

>>376223
>you might enjoy he story a bit more if you didnt seem to be looking so hard for reasons to not enjoy it.
I wouldn't say I'm looking for reasons to not enjoy the story. Overall I think my assessment of this thing has skewed surprisingly positive, in fact I'm finding it to be much better written than I was expecting. Anyway, enjoyment isn't really the objective here; the whole point is to analyze the story and critique it, which involves being a little more nitpicky than I would be if I were just reading it for fun.

>when one reads fanfiction with the intent of enjoying it, they can ignore, skip over, and disregard unnecessary shit. Case in point, I completely glossed over the description of place and filed it under "Yeah, yeah, its old and dingy like the rest of everything."
>It can also be useful to retcon or head-cannon preferrable narratives or courses of action/sequence.
>For example, one can pretend that half of the unnecessary dialogue hasn't happened, while maintaining the necessary stuff. You're basically retaining the cliff notes version as head canon, an if you WANT you can go back and retcon/rewrite a better story, but obvious gaffes and poorly executed this that and the other aside, so far this one is shaping up to be the first fic that is enjoyable on it's face.
So in other words, I should just pretend I'm reading a better story?

>This is like when someone is doing a video breakdown of a thing, describing shit in detail, but they keep stopping the video to complain about how 'this' doesnt make sense for 5 minutes, when 20 seconds after the pause the thing is explained or seen to make sense after all.
Fair enough. I do tend to do this a lot.

>>376222

Anyway, as Anon predicted, Bottlecap goes on to explain that there are separate divisions within the Finders, and they have differing philosophies on how business ought to be conducted. Apparently, Bottlecap's father is the leader, or founder, or something, and his three daughters each head a division. The sisters don't see eye to eye on how to run things: Bottlecap's sister Caprice apparently is involved in drugs and prostitution as well as arms dealing, and does not seem to have any objective beyond amassing as large a fortune as she can. Bottlecap's view is more forward-thinking: she wants to facilitate better trade relations in the wasteland.

The whole thing still doesn't make a ton of sense. Bottlecap's view is reasonable enough: she basically wants to reestablish some semblance of civilization based on mutually beneficial trade agreements. Caprice, again, is just trying to amass a large fortune, which in this setting means possessing a huge number of caps. To its credit, the text acknowledges that this is silly:

>“What would be the point of having a pile of caps? To swim in it?” Bottlecap said with a smile as she dug out one of the caps and held it up. “This is just a stamped piece of metal. What matters is trade. Taking goods for caps. Selling goods and getting caps. The amount of caps doesn’t matter compared to the trade. If anything has a chance of holding us together, it’s trade. After all, everypony wants something.”
Unfortunately, all this really does is emphasize how screwy and illogical this setting's economic system really is. Bottlecap correctly observes that the caps themselves are worthless; they're just a medium of exchange. This is essentially what money is in any economic system. However, the problem is that in order for this to work, the exchange tokens need to either have actual value in themselves, or else be issued by someone who can guarantee their value.

The bottlecap system in FoE essentially works like a fiat currency, except it's not issued by anyone and there's nothing backing it, which doesn't make any sense. Fiat currency only works in a situation where there is some kind of central authority guaranteeing the value of the exchange medium. In a state of anarchy like the Wasteland, there is no authority that can guarantee the value of caps, and they have no value in and of themselves, so it makes no sense that they are being used as money in the first place.

Using bullets as currency units, for instance, would make sense in a setting like this. Ammunition is something that everyone needs and can use, but at the same time is scarce. Individual bullets are also small and easy to portion out, so it would be easy enough to denominate the value of items in terms of bullets. Alternatively, the system that Nigel mentioned earlier, where the caps represent a certain quantity of water, would also work; however, the water would have to be held in trust by whoever is issuing the caps.

Somber has stumbled upon a deep flaw present in kkat's canon, but at the same time makes no effort to correct it. Goods have inherent value: you can eat food, you can drink water, you can shoot bullets. However, you can't do anything with bottle caps. If you had a pound of rice but no beans, and your neighbor had a pound of beans and no rice, then it would make sense to exchange rice for beans. However, exchanging rice or beans for bottlecaps makes no sense at all since you can't use them. Nobody is going to trade something of value for something of no value. There is no plausible reason why ponies would have all spontaneously started using bottlecaps for money.

My guess is the problem just stems from a basic ignorance of economics, as well as kkat's clumsy 1:1 transpositions of equally-clumsy Fallout 3 lore into his setting. Both kkat and Somber have presumably lived their entire lives in a fiat system and have never really given much thought to how all of it works: a candy bar or a computer or a ten gallon drum of anal lube are all valued in dollars, and that's just how it works. As to what exactly a dollar is or what determines it's value, they don't know; it's just the thing that everyone uses as a basic unit to buy stuff. Nothing we can do except chalk it up to a failure of the American public school system and move on.

Anywho, the conversation segues into the now-tired subject of violence, and how and when it ought to be used. Blackjack recounts the now-tired story of how she murdered forty orphans, and Bottlecap basically tells her it's okay because there was nothing else she could have done about it. In an effort to make BJ feel better, she acknowledges that, by acting as a brokerage service between bounty hunters and bounties, she has facilitated the deaths of many ponies herself.

From here, she segues into an infodump about her other sister, Usury, who apparently runs the slave market in these parts.

> “Usury believed it was a mistake to ignore the slave market. That ponies are every bit as much a commodity as salvage or sex.”
Here, the author stumbles into yet another logic issue in this setting. If ponies are a "commodity," it implies they have some value as slaves. Who exactly are the end users of the slaves being sold? What do slaves do and why are they needed?

In the original, this question was resolved when it was revealed that the slaves were not being sold so much as rounded up by Red Eye in order to build...whatever the fuck he was building; a city or a temple or something. However, we've heard no mention of him here yet, and in any case my understanding was that he had his own network of slavers and would thus have no reason to buy them from a third party like Usury. For a slave economy to make sense, there would need to be productive work that requires a huge workforce. The average Wastelander would have no use for a slave; it would just be another mouth to feed.

>>376226
While Bottlecap's breakdown of the economic structure doesnt pass the scratch n sniff test, it does a few things acceptably well.
I doubt anyone could come up with a both hypothetical AND cohesive economic structure that makes sense, and ngl I liked the unspoken parallel between worthless dollars ostensibly linked to gold/oil, and worhless caps ostensiby linked to clean water. Probably not what Somber was goi for, but Imo it worked anyway.
Additionaly, it seems that - again similar to dollars and fiat - caps were chosen as a currency because they are consistent and plentiful. Caps dont have value because of intrinsic value, try have value because enough of them represent goods and commodities in the possession of wealthier parties and what goods they will exchange. If this is the case, then caps are a non-governmentally issued fiat currency, backed by the bullets of ponies who represent lots and lots of bullets.
It isnt a perfect explanation, but what would be? Again, Somber appears to be taking the path of least resistance while alluding to (what I intuit to be a trend for this story) the elusive "Not the morality that Fequestria wants, but he morality that it deseres".

A seeming consistency of both FoE stories is a more or less ham-fisted 'loss of innocence' narrative. Without going into LP, Somber appears to be trying to give BJ something resembling an evolving mentality that is burdened by he less-ideal actions that are (unfortunately) necessitated by the apparently increasingly less-ideal world that she is exposed to.
Stuart, make a meme of BJ with a caption "If only you knew how bad things really are"
Not that kind of BJ!
But in both cases - regardless their 'potential' - they both come from a naive context where if not for outside circumstances they might still be truckin away more or less contentedly in the stable. They both weren't SUPPOSED to be murder hobos, but thats what the story/necessity calls for. And while it irks that BJ keeps havimg her "I killed children" moments, at least she is morally conflicted in the run up to complete sociopathy, versus LP that was just waiting for he right trigger

>>376225
>So in other words, I should just pretend I'm reading a better story?
I mean,... not when you're doing a review thread, but when casually reading, sure.

>>376226

>“Like I said, Megamart is losing trade. More and more ponies go to Paradise and Flank instead of here to exchange goods.
The logic doesn't track here, either. Paradise (run by Caprice) is just Megamart + prostitution and drugs, and Flank (run by Usury) is just Megamart + slaves. If you only need guns or ammunition, which is probably what 99.9% of Wastelanders need in most situations most of the time, you could get them just as easily at any of these three convenient Megamart locations, so there's no reason to prefer one over the other. Unless you're either horny or a junkie in need of a fix, you've got no reason in particular to go to Paradise, and unless you're the owner of a large cotton plantation, you've got no reason to go to Flank. For everypony else, price and proximity would be the only serious factors, so unless Bottlecap's sisters are somehow seriously undercutting her in terms of price, I don't see how either of them would have a serious advantage.

>I looked at Bottlecap for the longest time, feeling odd emotions churning inside me. Respect… no. Admiration. Here was a pony that had lived in the Wasteland her entire life and refused to sell out her integrity. Even when it hurt her business, she insisted on doing the right thing. I didn’t really think it was possible for businesses to care more about their effects than wealth.
The sisters generate quick returns and high profit margins by engaging in morally dubious practices, while Bottlecap adheres to a more principled model despite getting undercut. The premise is similar to that episode of the show, where Applejack has to defend her old-timey cider production methods against Flim and Flam's mechanized process that sacrifices quality for efficiency. Unfortunately, it doesn't really work here, again due to this world's screwy and poorly thought out economics.

The problem with Edgequestria is that it's presented as world of complete anarchy, but at the same time parts of it still inexplicably function like there's a central authority structure in place that imposes law and order. Some of it, again, is kkat's fault. Issues like how or why bottlecaps came to be used as currency despite having no value, or how a value-added consumer economy like Tenpony Tower would operate in the Wasteland, are never addressed by kkat. Somber, however, makes no effort to explain any of it either, he just takes kkat's nonsensical setting at face value and runs with it.

Also, the existence of Megamart as an enterprise doesn't make a ton of sense to begin with. This place is basically just a gigantic marketplace stocked from floor to ceiling with guns and ammunition, but as far as I can tell Bottlecap doesn't have any serious security. If she had an army or something, or the building was at least well-fortified enough to hold off an invasion, that would be one thing. But, from what we've seen so far, it's just being run like an ordinary, modern store. On her first visit, BJ even observes raiders walking around shopping with everyone else. We've seen how raiders normally behave; what's to stop them from just taking whatever they want and murdering anyone who gets in their way? Why even sell weapons to raiders in the first place? They're just going to use them to cause trouble, including disrupting Megamart's own caravans. For that matter, what's stopping Red Eye or The Enclave or the Steel Rangers or some other well-organized faction from just busting in here, taking whatever they want, and leveling Bottlecap's operation to the ground? The whole thing makes very little sense.

Anyway, it appears that Bottlecap's commitment to ethical post-apocalyptic business practices has stirred Blackjack's justice boner. She asks Bottlecap if there is anything she can do to help bust up Usury's operation. Bottlecap informs her that she has already helped out by killing the slavers earlier, and the most helpful course of action would be to continue disrupting her sister's supply lines wherever possible.

To her credit, she also addresses the issue of who exactly is buying all of these slaves:

>But, eventually, you’ll have to tackle the demand. Some, like Red Eye in Fillydelphia, probably wouldn’t stop unless he died. But there are others, like Brimstone's Fall, where the slave operations are smaller and more manageable.
It's still not clear exactly how these slaves are being used or to what purpose, but we'll put a pin in that for now. I'm assuming we'll find out eventually.

Anyway, Bottlecap explains that she can't formally hire her to fuck with her sister's operation, because it would cause all out war within the Finders and blah blah blah. BJ accepts this, and asks if she has any other contracts available, and the scene ends in a page break.

We rejoin BJ after she has been given her new contracts. Her next tasks will involve "patrolling" the highway between Megamart and Flank, delivering some mail (???) and foraging for electronic parts at some kind of abandoned air-force base.

>Unlike my first talk with Watcher, I didn’t feel much more confident.
This sentence is bad and you should feel bad.

Anyway, it's not clear where exactly she is in the building; presumably, she is still in Bottlecap's personal apartments somewhere. But, on her way out from wherever she is, she encounters some ponies playing cards, and asks them to deal her in. She plays for a couple hours, and seems to do pretty well for herself. It was established earlier that her cutie mark is related to gambling, though it hasn't come up very often.

>Then, of course, there was the whiskey. I had to admit that I’d never really drunk before.
I've been wondering when she was going to start drinking. Virtually all the memes I've seen of this character depict her as some kind of alcoholic sex-fiend, but she's been pretty sober thus far. Also: the second sentence is grammatically incorrect; it should either read "I'd never really been drunk before," or "I'd never really drank before."

>>376229
>I doubt anyone could come up with a both hypothetical AND cohesive economic structure that makes sense, and ngl I liked the unspoken parallel between worthless dollars ostensibly linked to gold/oil, and worhless caps ostensiby linked to clean water. Probably not what Somber was goi for, but Imo it worked anyway.
Neither FoE nor PH establishes, or even implies, that the caps are linked to water or anything else; that's my whole problem with it. Maybe the idea is that they're supposed to be, and this is just one of those areas where the author(s) assume that most readers have played the Fallout games and would connect the dots for themselves. However, if you take the text at face value, the caps are not backed by anything and there is no issuing authority, so I maintain that they make absolutely no sense as currency.

>Additionaly, it seems that - again similar to dollars and fiat - caps were chosen as a currency because they are consistent and plentiful. Caps dont have value because of intrinsic value, try have value because enough of them represent goods and commodities in the possession of wealthier parties and what goods they will exchange. If this is the case, then caps are a non-governmentally issued fiat currency, backed by the bullets of ponies who represent lots and lots of bullets.
I don't claim to be an expert on the finer points of economics, and maybe I'm out of my depth here, but this still doesn't make any sense to me. For something to become a medium of exchange, it needs to either have inherent value, or be issued by some kind of trusted third party, like a bank or a government. I can't visualize how or why ponies living in a post-apocalyptic, trustless world would just arbitrarily start using worthless, unbacked tokens as money. If I have a wagon full of oats, and some griffon stops by and offers to buy my oats in exchange for a bag full of bottlecaps, I can't imagine agreeing to such a trade without some guarantee that the caps are redeemable for something.

>It isnt a perfect explanation, but what would be?
That's...basically my point.

>>376230
>A seeming consistency of both FoE stories is a more or less ham-fisted 'loss of innocence' narrative. Without going into LP, Somber appears to be trying to give BJ something resembling an evolving mentality that is burdened by he less-ideal actions that are (unfortunately) necessitated by the apparently increasingly less-ideal world that she is exposed to.
I've noticed this too. The basic idea is that this relatively innocent character is suddenly taken out of the relatively safe world she's grown up in, and is placed in a rougher environment where right and wrong are not clearly defined. She will need to make difficult choices about whether to kill in the name of a higher ideal, or to refuse to kill and in so doing allow something worse to persist. The situation with the foals earlier was the first of what I am assuming will be a long chain of similar choices.

>>376236

Anywho, BJ plays cards and gets crunk. Suddenly, she notices that U-21, that shifty ol' so-and-so from earlier who helped sell out Stable 99 to the invaders, is for some reason lurking in the background. She excuses herself from the game, and runs off to have a word with him.

She chases him down...an aisle? I think? The author has done a piss-poor job of establishing time and space in this scene. I think the basic idea is that it's still nighttime, the Megamart is closed, and as such the place is empty except for a few of Bottlecap's employees playing cards, and U-21 for some reason.

At any rate, she chases and corners him. However, it turns out that his appearance was just a clever ruse:

>“Hello, Security Cunt.” In the stable, he’d looked big. Now, he looked huge. Even ignoring the metal plates fused to his hide and the pistons supporting his weight, he stood a whole head higher than me. The sight of metal plunging into flesh, distorting it as he moved, would normally have turned my stomach. Just at the moment, though, I had enough sobriety to notice but more than enough inebriation to not care about it. Or that I was dangling helplessly between his massive guns. “You have no idea how aggravating it’s been to find you.”
Apparently, Deus is here too. This scene is making less and less sense the further it progresses. This guy is fucking enormous; how did he get in here after hours without being spotted? Or, maybe a better question would be, if Bottlecap's security is this bad, how is she even still operating?

Unfortunately, things only get wackier from here. Blackjack is drunk, and based on the quality of writing I assume that Somber was in a similar state when he wrote this. I'll do my best to summarize.

Deus has been tracking BJ for the past week, because his employer Sanguine still wants to get his hooves on macguffin.exe. U-21 lured her out here into this ambush, and is now using his magical unicorn powers to hold her in place so Deus can remove her PipBuck. However, Blackjack...I guess...uses her own unicorn powers to...fire Deus's guns...somehow...which destroys a bunch of shelves...I think...distracting U-21 and causing him to drop her. Then...I guess...she somehow uses her unicorn magic to operate one of the giant turrets mounted in the store's ceiling. Either that, or the explosion caused the turret to fire on Deus automatically. I honestly have no idea what the fuck is even going on at this point. Here is exactly what the text says:

>“Wrath of Gun,” I muttered, and then he looked up. The massive turret was swinging the barrel around to point right at Deus. He stepped back, eyes widening, and I curled up as tightly as I could, giggling, “Mine’s bigger.” Gun fired.
Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. I'm not even sure Somber is writing in English anymore.

Anyway, the blast from...whatever the fuck just happened...apparently sends Blackjack flying. She crash-lands behind some kind of firearms counter, which is amply provisioned with various guns and boxes of ammo. She loads up a couple of the guns and stumbles away.

Meanwhile, that automated turret is apparently still tracking Deus, but isn't shooting at him for some reason. However, it seems the previous blast has blown off one of the cannons that are mounted to his body or whatever. He is stumbling around, but still manages to fire his other cannon at Blackjack, which narrowly misses her...I think? Fuck, this scene is giving me a headache.

Blackjack shoots Deus with the gun she grabbed from behind the counter, and he suddenly explodes, because it turns out the gun she grabbed was actually a grenade launcher. However, despite having just exploded, he is somehow still alive and in one piece.

>Unfortunately Deus was not a dead pony. He wasn’t a happy pony either. Actually, looking around, there were a lot of unhappy ponies. Well, not me. I was happy. I had a tummy of whiskey residue and my head was going around and around and whee.
I have no commentary here, I just wanted to force you all to read these words so I don't have to suffer alone.

Anyway, Morning Glory and P-21 suddenly show up out of absolutely fucking nowhere, and begin feeding Blackjack healing potions. Apparently, she was seriously injured and didn't realize it due to intoxication. Then, Bottlecap shows up, flanked by what laughably passes for her security team. She and Deus exchange a few words; Deus offers to buy Blackjack from Bottlecap, and Bottlecap tells him that Blackjack isn't for sale. Deus screams "I'll get you next time, Gadget!" at the top of his lungs, fires a rocket out of his butthole, and blasts himself off to the fucking moon because that makes about as much sense as anything else that's going on. Well, not exactly, but close. This is what actually happens:

>He glanced up and around, then scowled. “Fine. But I got one last piece of business here.” He pointed his hoof at me and yelled, “Bounty on Security. Fifty thousand caps. You want to collect, bring her head and her PipBuck -- intact -- to the Arena! If she’s alive, one hundred thousand bottlecaps! Usury will back me up on payment. After all, she’s the sister who doesn’t give a fuck,” he added, sneering down at Bottlecap. He grinned at me one final time and then the cybernetic pony walked for the exit. U-21 limped after him, smirking at me with malicious glee.
>Suddenly more ponies were glancing at me and muttering to each other.
So...Deus just put out a bounty on Blackjack? I guess? And apparently some of the other customers in the store, who are here for some reason despite it being like 3 o'clock in the morning and the store having been empty earlier, are considering taking him up on it? I guess? I honestly have no idea anymore.

Anyway, Deus, his body still remarkably intact despite having just exploded, leaves the Megamart. BJ's friends carry her off to the medical tent to have her injuries treated, and this goddamned ridiculous scene mercifully ends in a page break.

>>376238

>Deus had come in like any shopper and simply waited, knowing that I’d arrive eventually to collect on my contracts. Now that there was a price on my head, Keystone and Bottlecap had thought it best I recover out of sight before I started a riot. Without putting up a single piece of paper, Deus had created the largest bounty in Hoofington history. And that was me dead; me alive was twice as much.
So, apparently what happened is this gigantic murderous cyborg just walked into the Megamart and loitered there, waiting for Blackjack to show up, and none of Bottlecap's security personnel noticed he was there. Makes about as much sense as anything else I suppose. This world operates according to its own logic.

Anywho, BJ is back in Bottlecap's office again. As there is now a preposterously huge bounty on her head, Bottlecap thought it best to get BJ off of the sales floor to keep the customers from trying to capture her. Because, even though 100,000 caps is more money than most Wastelanders see in their entire lifetime, that "Staff Only" sign on Bottlecap's office door is not to be taken lightly.

Keystone, the security mare with whom BJ was playing cards earlier, returns her barding. It now has armor plates inside it, which should hopefully offer her some additional protection. We also learn that Deus, in addition to being a Reaper, is also one of "Big Daddy's Four Horses of the Apocalypse," and he can be found at the Hoofington Sports Arena.

>I looked over at Bottlecap. “So I’m guessing those jobs are going to be on hold for a while?”
>The lemon mare smiled. “Why? Your bounty doesn’t disqualify you from getting paid for other jobs. Every trade hub is supposed to be neutral ground, and you can send Glory or P-21 in to collect payments. Just be careful. That is a lot of money for a bounty, and I know many ponies won’t care if you’re Security or not.”
Apparently, the Megamart is considered "neutral ground," and that appears to be the closest thing to an explanation that we are likely to get for why everyone behaves themselves in here, and why nobody ever tries to attack the place despite the worthless security team and complete lack of defenses. This world operates according to its own logic.

Anyway, the chapter ends here.

>Footnote: Level Up.
>New Perk: Quick Draw - Holstering and drawing weapons is 50% faster.
>Quest Perk: The Stare (Level 1) - You can intimidate non-hostile contacts through eye contact.

Chapter 8: Long Roads

>Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
>By Somber
>Chapter 8: Long Roads

Today's fortune cookie:
>“Are you sayin’ my mouth is makin’ promises my legs can't keep?”

It appears that word of the ridiculously large bounty has spread. There is now a small army camped outside the Megamart, waiting for Blackjack to emerge so they can capture her.

>By morning the next day, Megamart found itself inundated with ‘customers’. Keystone made sure every one of them paid the toll, and even restricted weapons in case Gun wasn’t enough deterrent.
Minor note: "Gun" is actually the nickname of the giant automated turret that was shooting at Deus earlier. This is a minor detail that was established awhile ago that I'd forgotten about. At least some of the confusion in the previous scene stems from my failing to understand that "Gun" was being used as a proper noun. I guess my only advice here is that if you're going to do something like this, you might want to give your turret a somewhat more memorable nickname that won't cause confusion. There are a lot of guns in this story.

Anywho, our intrepid trio manages to escape disguised as a caravan leading a herd of cattle. I guess Bottlecap and some of the security team goes with them. They are stopped by some of the bounty hunters, and a confusing and poorly-written exchange follows, which isn't worth going into. Yada yada yada, they make it past them unscathed.

They are now at Pony Joe's, the diner where the raiders were hiding out earlier. They stop and remove their disguises, and yak for a bit. The conversation is also not worth going over, with the exception of a few tidbits of information:

>The truth was that I couldn’t really do magic. Oh, I could levitate guns and swing batons as well as any unicorn, but my telekinesis was hardly all that impressive. In medical they concluded that my magic hadn’t fully developed yet.
I think this was mentioned once or twice before, but apparently Blackjack is magic-retarded.

We also learn something about Reapers:
>“There’s always been Reapers around Hoofington, but most aren’t as strong as Deus. When you become a Reaper they do something to you, make you stronger and tougher. But the oldest Reapers like Big Daddy and Deus have potent internal healing talismans and the like; the only ponies that come close to challenging their firepower are the Steel Rangers.”

It also appears that the Steel Rangers are planning...something:
>“Steel Rangers have the Ironmare naval station. The HMS Celestia’s tied up there. If they get the guns working on that ship, they’ll be able to lob shells across half of Hoofington. They’ve got numbers and ammo and they’re stocking up on every missile they can get their hooves on.” Bottlecap looked to the east, but highlands to the north and east of us blocked our view. “Most Steel Rangers just worry about stockpiling weapons and technology from the past. I’m pretty sure ‘Star Paladin’ Steel Rain plans on something bigger. Fortunately, the Reapers love to pick fights from the west and the Enclave has them bottled up from the south, leaving them mostly stuck in Ironmare.”

Anyway, we now learn that Morning Glory did not travel with the caravan, but had left earlier on her own so she could get to Pony Joe's before them. It's not clear why she did this. Also, the blood and guts and whatnot left behind by the raiders has been mysteriously cleaned up. BJ assumes that MG was responsible; however, MG denies it. I'm not sure if we're supposed to take her at her word or not.

>>376236
>The problem with Edgequestria is that it's presented as world of complete anarchy, but at the same time parts of it still inexplicably function like there's a central authority structure in place that imposes law and order.
Ostensibly because "nature abhors a power vacuum", and powerful non-gov entities/factions filled in the gaps. Part of the essence of money is an agreement to - in some cases - no kill one another outright. Money tends to fuction as an incentive to sometimes play nice - the carrot if you will - but why would one or more ponies with really big sticks NOT impose some degree of 'order' befitting them and whoever affiliates?
>If she had an army or something, or the building was at least well-fortified enough to hold off an invasion, that would be one thing. But, from what we've seen so far, it's just being run like an ordinary, modern store.
Hard to say wether this was an oversight, or if this might be leading up to Bottlecap gettig merc'd later on. Its premature to call Bottlecap a mentor, but BJ is pretty impresse so far a we all know what has to happen to mentors. If BC doesnt get raided, I'll just pencil in a suitable guard/workforce, but Im holding out for tragic bla bla.
Incidentally, a guard presence would impress a greater sense of urgency for BC to keep her numbers/commerce up.
As far as the caps go, the best I can come up with is that IF we allow that the caps have the slightest value - again pstensibly via the water potential (or other fluid I suppose,... estrus?) - then we can assume the caps are probably the lowest value of object that can be said to have value.
As such, this would seem to make it an optimal method for exchange, because it allows a more precise indication of value. Trade works great when a sack of potatoes has equal value to a bottle of whiskey, or when the sum total of trade goods can be said to be comparable, but when here is extreme variance of the value of goods, an intermediary currency becomes necessary.
I agree, bullets DOES make more sense and WOULD have worked better, but spilled milk.

>>376238
>Either that, or the explosion caused the turret to fire on Deus automatically. I honestly have no idea what the fuck is even going on at this point.
I think BJ fired one of Duce's guns, causing the automated turret to automate all over Duce's ass. Incidentally, an automated turret lends credence to why BC hasnt gotten mercd yet.
>I have no commentary here, I just wanted to force you all to read these words so I don't have to suffer alone
Somber writes drunk ponies like someone who hasnt been drunk thinks it is like to be drunk.

>>376239

Anyway, I guess BJ is radioactive or something again, so she goes into the bathroom to take a shit and chug some more RadAway. After that, she puts on her new armor and heads back to the dining area.

Morning Glory is in the middle of giving instructions to Bottlecap; apparently she has some slides or medical samples or something, and Bottlecap is going to deliver them somewhere for her. Someone named Dr. Morningstar is supposed to receive them. She then announces that she intends to continue traveling with Blackjack, because apparently that was in doubt. After that, they saddle up and head out.

>“So did your brains tell you anything?” I asked her, half teasing.
I guess she dissected those raider brains she collected at some point. Maybe that's why she came to Pony Joe's early? To dissect brains in the kitchen? I have no idea. This world operates according to its own logic.

Anyway, MG's research apparently found that raiders have lesions in the part of their brain that governs impulse control and long-term decision making. She hypothesizes that there is some kind of virus or bacteria that causes this, and ponies who succumb to it turn into raiders. She also believes it may spread from bites. Presumably the brain lesions would account for the pointless murder and defecation that raiders are all so fond of. I'll toss Somber a couple of points here for thinking up a plausible explanation for one of the goofiest aspects of kkat's setting.

From Pony Joe's they travel back to Weather Station 4, where they proceed to nap amongst the foal skeletons. Before she goes to sleep, BJ decides to have a look at a memory orb she picked up from somewhere at some point. Apparently she found it at the gazebo by the lake, though I'm afraid I've completely forgotten which gazebo and which lake she's referring to.

The memory belongs to a unicorn named Maripony, who is betrothed to Big Macintosh. The two of them are at a gazebo by a lake (I'm assuming this is the same gazebo/lake combination that the orb came from), saying goodbye to each other. Big Mac has to go...somewhere. Back to the war, I guess. The implication seems to be that this conversation took place shortly before Big Mac was killed; if I remember correctly, he died protecting Princess Celestia from being assassinated. The scene is brief; they say their goodbyes and Big Mac exits. We also learn that Maripony is pregnant with his child. I seem to recall "Maripony" also being the name of a significant location in the first story, so this may end up being important later on.

Blackjack wakes up from the memory, full of emotions and whatnot. She asks P-21 about Big Mac and we receive confirmation that he did indeed die protecting Princess Celestia from assassination. Blackjack goes outside to stare pensively at the rain, presumably while a Sarah McLaughlin song plays in the background.

They set out again the next day. It is still raining, though not as hard as before. BJ spies a nearby hill, and decides to climb it to see if she can get an idea of how many bounty hunters are chasing after them. As they climb the hill, her PipBuck informs her that it is called Hill 255. Then, suddenly, this happens:

>Suddenly there was a metallic groan beneath us. The entire hillside started to slide out from underneath our hooves. Glory took to the skies as I wrapped my magic around P-21’s leg and we scrambled to the side.
>To my amazement a vast metal shape turned over as it breached the water-drenched surface. Slowly it came to a stop behind us, and I stared at the mud-slathered turret of a two-hundred-year-old tank. Around it and beneath it, poking from the slumping mud, were hundreds of rotten bones freed from the earth.
Apparently, a major battle took place here.

Anyway, she scans the horizon with her binoculars, and notes the position of the throng of bounty hunters. She works out a route that she thinks will avoid them, and the three of them continue on their way. BJ decides to switch on the radio as she walks, and naturally the DJ is talking about her.

>Well, if you were listening earlier you probably heard Security Mare’s little declaration of war against Paradise Mall. It looks like Paradise has responded in kind by putting a big bounty on Security.
Couple of things here. First off: was the confrontation scene between Deus and BJ somehow being broadcast on the radio? Because if not, I'm not sure how anyone would have "heard Security Mare’s little declaration of war." Maybe I'm just taking it too literally, and the implication is really just that news of the incident has spread by word of mouth. However, earlier, the DJ somehow got hold of an actual recording of Blackjack yelling at the slavers, so there's a chance that someone, Frank maybe, is spying on her and sending recordings to the DJ. It would help if the author would clarify which it is.

Second, what's the deal with Paradise Mall? How does this fit into the equation? When he offered the bounty, Deus instructed anyone interested in claiming it to bring BJ's head and PipBuck to the Arena (location unknown at this point), and that Usury would guarantee payment. Nobody said anything about Paradise Mall.

From the conversation earlier, we know that Bottlecap has two sisters: Caprice and Usury. Caprice runs a drug and prostitution racket out of Paradise, which presumably contains a mall, and Usury operates a slave market in Flank. If Deus had said Caprice was backing the bounty than the DJ's mention of Paradise would make sense. However, Caprice was not mentioned, and neither was Paradise. BJ did not declare war on Paradise or its Mall, and the bounty is guaranteed by Usury, who lives in Flank. So, I'm not really sure what the DJ is on about here.

Anyway the DJ follows this up with her usual babble about "doing the right thing" and advises her listeners not to be swayed by the temptation of easy money. Then, she segues into some old song by Sweetie Belle.

>>376257

>For the first time, I was starting to warm a little to the DJ. I had to agree, making me out to be a hero was annoyingly helpful, but it was good to hear anypony arguing against fifty thousand caps for my head. I just wish he’d got it right that it was Deus that made the bounty… though on second thought that bastard would probably enjoy it. It also explained why so many hunters were watching every inch between Megamart and Manehattan: if DJ Pon3 was in my corner, maybe I was running there now.
Maybe the implication is that the DJ got some wrong information, and Paradise actually has nothing to do with anything? I honestly don't know. This world operates according to its own logic.

Anywho, as they are walking, they suddenly hear gunshots. They go to investigate, and discover a bunch of armed assailants laying siege to some kind of metal bunker. P-21 advises they simply mind their own business and go around, but BJ is not really into that. She approaches what appears to be the commander and asks him what's going on. He informs her that a group of Crusaders have been rustling their cattle, and they're now holed up in this bunker. BJ suggests that maybe a wandering radigator could have been responsible for the disappearing cattle, and the commando acknowledges that this is possible. He then recognizes the infamous "Security Mare." Guessing at his thoughts, BJ recommends not trying to collect on the bounty as he would most likely not survive the attempt. The commando then agrees to leave the Crusaders alone, and reluctantly moves on. P-21 seems to believe that this will not be the end of the incident.

BJ approaches the bunker and convinces the foals that they are no longer in danger. They emerge, and one of them, of course, recognizes her as Security. There is a brief argument over whether or not they should attempt to capture her for themselves, though it does not seem to be serious. It also seems that several of the foals are aware of the incident with Scoodle earlier, and as such they don't trust BJ. This goes back and forth for quite some time. Ultimately, BJ apologizes for getting Scoodle killed, and the foals explain that they have been unjustly framed as cattle rustlers. Apparently, some mutated dragons somewhere up in the hills are the ones who are actually responsible for the cattle disappearing. Easy mistake to make; I get foals and mutated dragons mixed up all the time.

Anyway, this whole situation has absolutely fuck-all to do with BJ and her group, and they have nothing to gain from getting involved. So, naturally, they volunteer to hunt down the mutated dragons and restore peace between the cattle farmers and the children. The scene ends in a page break.

We rejoin them a short time later. They are up in some hill country above the cattle farm, where the dragons are supposed to live.

>I dropped carefully into the crevasse, sliding down ten or twenty feet. Glory carried P-21 down with her. I didn’t like him going in unarmed, but that was nothing new.
Why is he unarmed exactly? Seems like they've collected quite a few weapons by now, plus they were just at Megamart and are flush with caps from the contracts they've completed. I get that he's more of a support specialist and not a fighter, but you'd think they'd have at least fixed him up with a basic pistol or something so he could defend himself. Also: is his leg still broken, or injured, or whatever? I haven't heard mention of it being healed, and BJ was protecting it with magic earlier. Seems like that's also something they ought to have taken care of by now.

Anyway, they descend into the crevasse and go exploring. There is some mild radioactivity in here, but MG gives them each a shot of some kind of radiation-repellant, so they don't need to worry about it. The dragons turn out to be the small, Spike-sized type of dragon rather than the large terrifying variety; however, they are also clearly vicious and non-sentient, so BJ decides it's okay to kill them.

They dispatch the two small dragons they encounter quickly enough, but another, slightly larger, one emerges. They take that one out, and then a few more appear. And so on in this fashion, until most of the red bars have been cleared away.

>Then I noticed P-21 sneaking closer to the dragons and tossing two mines out in the middle of their path. Why was he carrying mines?
Is there any particular reason he shouldn't be carrying them?

Well, it appears that we are about to find out:

>I slugged down a healing potion and then turned to look coolly at P-21. “Okay, Mr. I-don’t-trust-myself-with-guns. What are you doing with mines?”
Oh, okay, I think I understand why he doesn't have a gun. I guess he still has some kind of yet-unexplained grudge against Blackjack, and he doesn't trust himself not to shoot her in the back because reasons, so he chooses to go unarmed. This world operates according to its own logic.

Anyway, it turns out that, since he doesn't carry a gun, he's stocked up on various types of mines, bombs, explosives and what-have-you so that he isn't completely defenseless. Glad we got that little mystery cleared up.

The party advances deeper into the caves. The radiation levels appear to be increasing, but BJ wants to be thorough and make sure she kills all the dragons before she leaves. They come across some kind of concrete storage bunker. Then, another dragon charges them, but P-21 lobs a stick of dynamite at it. In typical FoE fashion, the explosion kills the dragon but has no effect on the surrounding environment.

BJ checks her PipBuck, and observes that all the red bars are gone except for one. So, it looks like they just have one last straggler to kill, and then they can go on about their business. Unfortunately, in true FoE fashion, the last dragon turns out to be the largest and most terrifying of the bunch.

>>376259

>It was crawling towards us, making the bunker shake and sending rocks and pebbles raining down on us. I looked up. The ceiling was a mess of cracks and gaps. I grinned. “Wanna do something stupid?”
>P-21’s mouth hung open for a second. “Sure! Why not?” he said, throwing his hooves up in a shrug.
>“Use those explosives of yours to bring the roof down.”
Welp, it looks like in certain specific circumstances, explosive devices do impact the surrounding environment in FoE. Color me surprised.

Anyway, it looks like the current plan is to have P-21 plant some bombs in the ceiling to create a partial cave-in, thus destroying and/or trapping the dragon. However, he doesn't want to trap the party as well, so he needs to be precise about how he does it. For some reason or other he has a manual on him that explains how to do this, so he sits down to read while the rest of the crew distracts the dragon.

BJ loads up her automatic shotgun with the green ammunition, which I guess spews poison or something, and starts blasting it all over the dragon. It seems to have a disorienting effect, and impairs its movement somewhat. Meanwhile, P-21 runs around planting sticks of dynamite at key points in the ceiling. When he's finished, BJ uses telekinesis to trigger the dynamite, then everything kerplodes.

The dragon is now partially trapped under rubble, but apparently is not quite dead yet. So, BJ jams a piece of iron rebar into its eye, and then jams a grenade into the hole created by the rebar. Its eye kerplodes. Apparently, this doesn't kill it either. So, BJ does what any sensible pony in her situation would do: dives head-first into the dragon's empty eye socket and rapid-fires green poison rounds point-blank into its brain, until eventually it dies of...poison, I guess. Either that or the sheer ridiculousness of the situation just causes it to give up on life.

>Slowly I stepped out of the dragon’s skull. Blood and yellow vitreous fluids dripped from my security barding. My eyes glowed like mining lamps as I looked up at the farmers and Crusaders with a wide grin. “Now who wants to try and collect on that bounty?” I yelled up at them, waving my steaming shotgun overhead and laughing wildly into the rain.
Who says this fandom's literature is lacking in artistic taste?

Anywho, the dragon was apparently the source of all the radiation in the cave, or crevasse, or wherever the hell they are Somber's description of the environment has been sparse and confusing. Climbing into its eye seems to have given BJ a massive dose of radiation poisoning. However, it turns out that the farmers have a medic on staff, who is capable of fixing her up. At this point I am not even going to bother wondering about the specifics. Bottom line is, she is radioactive for like a paragraph, and then in the next paragraph she is cured. Righty-o.

Next, she has the cattle-ranchers apologize to the Crusaders for trying to kill them, and after that it's time to move on. As payment for her services, she has only one request: a pair of snazzy mirrored sunglasses that one of the ranchers was wearing. This rambling autism thankfully concludes with a page break.

We rejoin the party at some point in the future, in some unknown location. They appear to be in the company of the Crusaders, so maybe they're back in that steel bunker from earlier. The Crusaders are babbling to each other about all the cool stuff that BJ just did to the dragon.

In the course of the conversation, it is revealed that the nearby town of Paradise has its own short-range radio station that can be picked up from here. This is apparently how the Crusaders learned of the bounty on Blackjack. Out of curiosity, BJ switches on her PipBuck and tunes it to their station. The broadcast is some kind of bizarre talk-radio program, featuring the deranged ramblings of someone named Redbeard. It's probably easier if I just copypaste what he says directly:

> “…know what I think? I think it’s a scam, that’s what I think. We’ve got it pretty good around the Hoof. We got better tech, better food, better water, better everything. In bad times we’re on top. So what does Tenpony do? They dig up some cunt, dress her up, and send her here to stir up trouble. We already got Enclave poking their snouts where they don’t belong. We got Steel Raiders… oh, sorry. Rangers… threatening to blow up half the city. One outsider after the next coming here stirring up trouble.
>“And now Security. Either she’s a Manehattan thug with an itchy trigger horn, or she’s one of these brain-damaged stable ponies now out in the wide world and can’t help but fuck with us. This is our home! Our lives! She butchered Roses’s group, smashed her horn clean off, and then gave her a five second head start before siccing the goons on her. Oh, yeah, Security is all up in arms against bad things happening to ponies, unless you’re the pony she doesn’t like. Then she doesn’t give a fuck about you! That’s why I’m glad Usury didn't just back Deus’s bounty but matched it. The sooner this hypocrite is out of our manes, the better. So, someone put Security to rest and collect yourselves a hundred thousand caps. Or, better yet, give her skanky ass to Deus and double that! What do you say? What do you fucking say?!” The sound of cheering and stomping hooves answered him.
The main takeaway here seems to be that the bounty is now up to 200,000 caps, due to Usury promising to match the bounty that Deus had already promised.

Anyway, from here the text veers off into yet another tiresome conversation about the ethics of murder. It's just more of the usual fare: BJ is riddled with feelings of self-loathing and doubt over whether or not she did the right thing by killing all those slavers. P-21 then explains to her that she had every right to kill the slavers, because it was self-defense and they were slavers and so forth and so on.

>>376261
I can imagine that Sanguine faggot is probably manipulation events in the background because he really wants the MacGuffin file BJ has, but her rise to this level of fame and infamy in just a few days seems quite silly regardless. Excluding the previously mentioned plot reasons she's done little more than standard mercenary work. The only other thing I can think of is her encounter with the Crusaders before that, but that didn't really end in her favor since both she and the Crusaders think it's her fault Scoodle got ripped in half. Littlepoop had a similarly speedy rise to fame if I recall, so I'm not exactly surprised.

>>376261

There is also this interesting little tidbit:

>“Actually, Paradise does that. Slavers ain’t allowed to shoot slavers what have a Paradise license,” Medley offered with a smile. She received a number of dirty looks and the unicorn filly gave an injured, “What? They do!”
Apparently, in addition to having an unbacked fiat currency, Edgequestria also has a slavery licensing board. This world operates according to its own logic.

>“Anypony that takes a shot at us has forfeited any right to live, Blackjack. You have got to learn this!”
>“No!” I shouted back. “I can’t do that! I can’t just kill somepony because they’re red on my PipBuck.”
Okay, so just pick a different color on your PipBuck and kill them for being that. This is murder, not brain surgery.

Anyway, this now-tiresome schtick goes like this for several paragraphs, and then eventually it doesn't anymore. The upshot from all of this is that the age-old question of whether or not P-21 considers BJ a friend has been resolved: her status has been upgraded from not-friend to we're-probably-friends-I-guess. Hooray?

Page break. The party is now resting in some kind of drainage culvert or something. BJ awakens from a violent dream filled with >rape and murder, and decides to have a swig of whiskey. Keystone apparently gave her a bottle before they left Pony Joe's.

She gets her drank on, and then wanders out to where Morning Glory is keeping watch. MG is in the middle of recording an entry into some kind of audio diary. She details her observations of her teammates: Blackjack is a schizo, while P-21 seems full of incel rage despite being outwardly calm. As for herself, she confesses that so far, she's finding the Wasteland to be a lot more murdery than the pamphlets they gave her at Enclave-school had led her to believe. She's got PTSD and rape-trauma and so forth and so on.

Blackjack eavesdrops on her for awhile, then coughs politely and shows herself. She offers to take over the watch early so that MG can go to bed. She also asks if MG considers her a friend. MG responds that yes, she does. Blackjack now has two friends. Hooray?

BJ then notices some red blips on her PipBuck, so she goes to check it out. Apparently a few of the ranchers from earlier have been tailing her, and were planning to brain her in her sleep so they could collect the bounty. She confronts them. Not wanting to be responsible for any more needless death, she attempts to disarm and dissuade her attackers without actually killing any of them. However, it doesn't go as planned, and she accidentally beats one of them to death.

However, there's a silver lining: Morning Glory appears to have some kind of magical defibrillator, which she uses to resuscitate the dead unicorn. By now, P-21 is also awake, and comes charging out of the drainage culvert with a grenade in his mouth. The farmers grudgingly retreat, and that's the end of it. There is a bit of confusing and badly-written conversation, after which they all go back to bed. The chapter ends here.

>Footnote: Level Up.
>Skill Note: Melee (50)
>New Perk: Rad resistance - You resist 20% of radiation exposure. This makes you 20% cooler!

Chapter 9: Stone

>Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
>By Somber
>Chapter 9: Stone

Today's fortune cookie:
>“There was no talking. There was no smiling. There were only rocks.”
I can only assume that this is an excerpt from Maud Pie's autobiography.

The chapter opens with a long, rambling, multi-paragraph inner monologue from Blackjack. It mostly just retreads ground we've already covered many times: BJ has self esteem issues, she spends an excessive amount of time worrying about when and how it's ethically permissible to kill someone, she's worried about putting her friends in danger, etc etc etc.

>To top it all off, I had a mystery inside my PipBuck. A computer file that was apparently so valuable that my stable had been raided to retrieve it. It was encrypted. Finding out just what it was supposed to do was going to be likewise very expensive, yet it was the only reliable chance I had short of trusting the Enclave, which I wasn’t ready to do.
Why exactly doesn't she trust the Enclave again? I'm not sure we've ever been given a clear reason for this.

Anyway, when the monologue concludes, we rejoin the party in a classroom at someplace called Rosehoof Academy. The place appears to be another abandoned ruin patrolled by Robronco sentries. The automated sentries stopped them as they approached, apparently judged them to be truant students, and ordered them to report to the robot Principal's office for detention. I wish I was making this up.

The Principal is following lockdown protocols from 200 years ago. BJ plays along, pretending to be a student named Marigold, whose name she gets from a paper on the Principal's desk. The Principal wants to know why she was running around outside during lockdown, and "Marigold" explains that she wanted to make out with her boyfriend, so she left school to go find him. I wish I was making this up.

However, the Principal accepts her story. He gives them extra detention, and orders them to report to a different robot in a different room. He also gives them hall passes so the robo-drones won't vaporize them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW2SeY4m6A8

>Thus the seven of us became the newest students of Roosehoof Academy. “That was brilliant!” Glory gushed as we trotted by Robronco sentries urging us to get to class. “How did you think of that?”
A better question would be: what exactly are they doing here?

This story has thus far done a much better job than its predecessor of following a more or less linear narrative that makes sense most of the time. However, in this instance we've just been dumped into a completely random location with zero explanation as to why they came here or what they hope to achieve. I'm assuming it has something to do with one of their new contracts, but a quick refresher on the specifics would be helpful here.

>Robronco sentries
this has Mlpol meme written all over it
Calling it now: Mcguffin.exe is in some way relate to DJ's prescient awareness of BJ's exploits

This isn't the first Fallout Equestria story that tried to depict being assigned a job as a bad thing.

Do the authors have a problem with the concept of Cutie Marks?

Cheerilee wasn't made a teacher at birth or assigned a teaching career. Her talent with kids made her decide to be a teacher.

>>376265
Having read this slop before, i can definitively answer this with 'no'.
Something (and somepony) else DO track her through it, but it's beyond the retardation event horizon, so i'll let Glim suffer finding the specifics in that hellhole.
Not sure i can read this shit while sober, and drunken relation of contents would be retarded.
>>376286
>Do the authors have a problem with the concept of Cutie Marks?
generally yes

>>376265
RobCo from Fallout and the author's choice to rename it to Robronco predates Denver Broncosposting by many years, maybe even a decade.

Is it a spoiler for this story to tell you something retarded already revealed in Fallout Equestria, when this story is written expecting you to have already read all of Fallout Equestria and regularly references things you'd only know if you've already finished it?
Spoiler warning: extreme radioactive levels of retardation, or to put it another way, brony writing

DJ PON3 aka Homage uses a pre-war magic surveillance network that can see anything. Nopony gave a fuck about the ethical questions involved in its creation or maintenance before or during or after the war. Homage doesn't need Eyebots/Spritebots to see for her. She doesn't need hacked PipBucks or pre-war computers with their own surveillance networks to see for her. She can just see anything she wants because magic. Why doesn't she exploit the fuck out of this to coordinate military operations and tell mercenary teams exactly where they can find poners who need saving and the best loot? Because plot. Kkat wants things to happen exactly as they happened in his favourite video game, so they do, even though the contrived excuse for why they are the way they are should change what they are and how they are used.

Tenpony Tower was constructed specifically for this all-seeing eye and yet its true purpose somehow eludes the current rulers of the tower and all the rich morons in the tower who produce nothing necessary for survival and yet somehow subsist off providing the illusion of class and luxury (like "fancy food in small portions" and spa services) for Wastelanders so absurdly eager to purchase this they'll risk getting raped and murdered horribly and eaten and mutilated and pissed on and turned into Raider Art scavenging the nearby enemy-infested ruins of 200 year old cities for perfectly preserved canned spam and donate this food so it can be served in restaurants. In small portions, of course, because kkat is a child who relied on television to understand the world before consoomerist gayming replaced his tv, and the tv said rich people only eat oddly small meals.

The tower is a meritocracy that puts the word of its citizens and the needs of its citizens above those of outsiders, as imagined by a libtard midwit subconsciously buttmad that it's not a liberal democracy like all "Good(TM)" characters exclusively want in his cartoonishly simplistic intellectually stunted world. That murderous Griffon with a nonsensical fetish for contract rules as written/interpreted/whatever the author decides in the moment? Wants a liberal democracy just as much as everyone else not designated Evil(TM). No attempt is made to understand why anyone would want the tower to be this way, the DJ gets to insult the place and its poners to her heart's content and nothing is done to humanize (ponify? whatever) the authority figures because they aren't liberal midwits.

The retarded liberal midwit author knew people hated the illogical "Rich Tenpenny Tower in Fallout 3 that provides nothing of value to anyone yet is nonsensically full of rich racist cunts who hate le poor outsider have-nots" and the "Magic omniscient DJ whose obsession with you is never explained" but he didn't understand why(even though people dumb enough to have played Fallout 3 and smart enough to have hated it aren't shy about why it fails as a Fallout sequel and as writing in general), so he provided his own retarded explanations for how they work the exact same retarded way or "better" in his story. Kkat even copied over the stupid "Let Ghoul squatters in to slaughter everyone in the tower, kill the Ghouls when the rich tell you to, or never accept/complete this quest" quest and tried to fix it by making a made-up "evil" Security guy slaughter the Ghoul squatters beforehand, and then after the radio DJ calls that guy a cunt, Steelhooves makes sure to get him killed by feral Ghouls at the earliest contrived convenience because racial loyalty. Even though being a Ghoul is an affliction, not a race, and Applejack's 260 year old boyfriend Steelhooves shouldn't give this much of a shit about other Ghouls when he doesn't give as much of a shit about things he should shit harder about. Then again who knows where his heart shits considering his Memory Orb wasn't used to store his first memory of meeting or fucking or dating Applejack but of some fucking power armour lore the author wanted Littleshit to know. Fucking Christ. The bronies called this good writing. The bronies wanted to write crap just like this. Bronies would take being called the next kkat or chatoyance as a fucking compliment. Trees were chopped down for printing this fucking thing. And at the climax of a "story" that could have been 20% the length or less if LP was only going to glitch past a bugged impossible barrier anyway, kkat's feminized self-insert rants that the ending of the story he wrote makes no sense and thinking about it hurts his head. Why does torrenting take so fucking long?

>>376375
Nihilistic liberal midwits seem to have a problem with the concept of living with a fulfilling purpose that honours your talents and interests and benefits your people, even if they can't pinpoint why it enrages them so.

>>376380
>DJ
Wow, thats even more retarded than the lazy-writing mcguffin prediction I made.
Regardless, the DJ is basically a method of allowing the author to glaze about their OC demands some degree of prescience, surveillance, etc., so a corrupted/backdoor file access seemed a simple enough explanation. Thanks friendo

>predates broncoposting
Obviously, it wasn't an Mlpol reference. But that doesnt mean it couldnt be appropriated

>>376382
>But that doesnt mean it couldnt be appropriated
Appropriating anything from this awful piece of writing only diminishes whatever it's appropriated for, unless you go through the effort of basically rewriting it from scratch yourself.
Do yourself a favor and don't.

>>376384
Would you be offended if notified that your reception to the idea tracks as incentive?

>>376381
Yeah, GTA had a radio and people loved that so Fallout 3 has a radio on your arm mounted retarded computer because BugthEAsderp wishes Fallout was Borderlands because Borderlands the gay californized Max Max ripoff made a Bordillion dollars once upon a time.
Thank Christ the PipBoy isn't also a radio in Fallout 3 or you'd get retarded Rick and Morty characters yapping in your ear the whole time like in Borderlands. More like Birchlands.
Go explore the Wasteland in Fallout 1 or 2, hear the spooky wind noises, think before moving and shooting, knowing that with every item consumed and every cap spent on supplies and every day spent on travel you are closer to failing your mission, it has a certain atmosphere.
Aimlessly murderhoboing around the neon green concrete clusterfuck of Fallout 3 firing forks from your Rock-It Launcher and Nukes from your Fat Man(TM) Nuclear Slingshot at bullet sponges while BONGO BONGO BONGO I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THE CONGO plays has a different atmosphere. When not playing music the radio has an omniscient DJ obsessed with sucking your cock and calling you a hero or cunt over the airwaves whether you choose the Good Karma Option for no reason or Bad Karma Option for no reason.
Fallout New Vegas used this retarded idea correctly. Mr New Vegas is an AI under Mr House's control telling the wastes exactly what he wants them to know. It's not some random NPC glazing you. It's a radio voice telling you the consequences of your action.
>Caesar's Legion are bad dudes, Legate Lanius took an underperforming group and killed a tenth of them.
>NCR's railway would be a nightmare to fix if someone blew it up PLEASE DESTROY IT.
>Go to the Silver Rush, they sell guns.
>Some Courier got shot in the head in Goodsprings and made a full recovery. Now that's a delivery service you can rely on!
>Trade along the I-15 is better now that someone killed the fire breathing mutant giant ants the NCR couldn't handle without external help.
>General Hanlon just took Hanlon's Razor to his own throat, and Rangers are being taken from the front lines to better defend NCR territory.
>Primm and Novac and Freeside had their problems solved. Nice.

Fundamentally hearing someone mention your good deeds after a bounty hunting mission in an informative concise way for the benefit of people in the world...
>According to a new report, violent crime is on a sharp decline in New Vegas. The report credits the decline of the population of Fiends in the area.
Has a different vibe compared to wannabe Borderlands dialogue sucking your cock for playing the video game.
>Let's give it up for THE VAULT DWELLER, THAT GLORIOUS SAINT FROM VAULT 101, who killed The Fiends! Keep fighting the good fight, my friend! I'd help, but I'd rather be here running the radio behind bulletproof glass in my pre war bunker hahaha lol I'm so funny! Awoo, I'm 3-Dawg and this next song goes out to The Vault Dweller, lightbringer and wasteland saviour and father of my wife's children!

Kkat saw the memes about 3Dog being gay for the protagonist and took them literally and tried to play it seriously in his porn-burnout coombrain Lesbian Blood and Death Fetish Magical Realm(tm), even though their attraction is as shallow and devoid of substance as the rest of the story. We're expected to feel emotions when the DJ calls Littlepoop a faggot for slaughtering cannibals because genocide is mean or whatever. Kkat thinks he wrote a smarter version of Fallout 3 that cleverly incorporates Fallout 1 and 2 and New Vegas elements into his story which therefore makes it a Fallout game. This is obviously retarded.

>>376382
If you want to be the funniest man who ever lived say Denver Broncos over and over. Call them amazing in a comedically inappropriate setting llike during a thread about something else entirely. The juxtaposition will make people laugh so hard they throw up.

>>376397
It's not at all like Borderlands. The radio in Fallout 3 reacts to the player action, delivers quest prompts, and the whole signal strength system opens up other gameplay elements. Radio in Borderlands was gay because Borderlands is gay.
>Thank Christ the PipBoy isn't also a radio in Fallout 3
You made a mistake in the number you typed. This results in everything typed after being disregarded.

Take your butthurt to the streets of London where it is needed.

>>376397
>that first part
I no understandey
>that secomd
You seemed adroit in your previous posts/ideas, but you lost me there.
Understand, you're conflating John Elway with the Denver Broncos.
I'm kidding, you should absolutely conflate John Elway with the Denver Broncos for they're two of the triparate manifestation, the third of which being Football. This is what was written into the stones of Gobekli Tepe:
-All that is manifest is a conglomeration of many Footballs (scientists insist theyre atoms or molecules, but they also insist the earth is round lol)
All is piles of infinite Footballs
-John Elway is Football
-The Denver Broncos are also Football
We can decode these phrases to mean that John Elway IS the infinite mass of Football and footballs, through time immemorial including multiverses (which not even Marvel figured out by now)

We can also decode that when observed in a limited spectrum but not a specific one, any number of them can be said to be Denver Broncos, but NOT John Elway (cuz the former - while being Football - isn't 100% Football, because then they would evolve like a Pokemon from a Denver Bronco into a Denver RoBronco(oh yeah) and THEN and ONLY with God, Anime, and Dan Reeves might you evolve INTO John Elway.
Having said, John Elway was born of Rainbow Dash so only then can you be John Elway. Checkmate atheists.

The whole of reality is John Elway/Football existing on several levels. John Elway is the singularity, opposed by Football which is the shape/nature of all expressions of life, and dually anti-polar in between the macroscope and the microscope is the Denver Broncos; plenty enough to be Football, but specific enough to be John Elway.

Apologies for not finishing.
In that John Elway is the perfect expression of all of manifest existence given singular human form, of COURSE he is the funniest person writ large, and emulation of him might get a person on the fast-track to going viral

>>376409
Yes, the PipBoy in Fallout 3 is a Radio in the sense that it can listen to egomaniacs and old people music. But it isn't the one-way phone kind of Radio, like in Borderlands.
You don't get one-sided conversations from Borderlands characters like in Borderlands (I was talking about Borderlands). Could you fucking imagine how much more obnoxious those one note characters would be if they were constantly in your earpiece? Imagine Grandma Sparkle calling you to remind you to bring her a violin. Which you can also give to some other guy for no reason if you feel like being evil. Christ, Fallout 3 is such a black hole of cancerous stupidity I can feel it sucking my brain cells away. There are "humans" on this rock who defended it and the company responsible. If democracy worked and the people could be trusted with freedom, every dogshit game in the world would get Dustborn/Concord numbers.
Fallout New Vegas Dead Money gets a pass for having Elijah in your ear because it's written well. Butterfly Boy does not.
Are you really going to talk to me about taking your anger to the streets, Canadian? Remind me how many communists that "Freedom Convoy" killed in Hinpoostan 2: Shit-Scented Pooinloo. There is no amount of peaceful resistance that will purge the country of its problems or "wake up the woke". They all secretly know what they're doing and enjoy it. It's why they smirk so much when you beat them in arguments. They find it funny that you know what they are and aren't doing anything to stop them. Personally shaming individuals for not going Rambo on the rape apes is a jewish demoralization tactic. Purging a country isn't a one man job. I've got what I need to defend my loved ones in case of an emergency. If I get locked up I can't do that.

>>376421
Go kill yourself, you inbred furfag sonichu britcuck.

>>376463
Is that loli-obsessed cringetard you're badly impersonating actually still alive? I'd check if he is by checking if he's shilled for his loli asset flip consoomer kusoge on reddit recently but I can't be arsed. It'd make you feel weird if he moved on to a happier more fulfilling life that doesn't involve you, right? Honestly it would be pretty funny if he turned his life around and made meaningful friendships outside. Heartwarming too.

Man, isn't it gay that the author of this gay fic hates the Enclave?

The Enclave is America as seen by liberals who thought the jewish anriwhite (but I repeat myself) Starship Troopers film is an accurate and hilarious mockery of american white conservative "fascists" and "their" neocon fascist military and "their" deep state. They get out their flamethrowers and miniguns and violently slaughter anyone who is not like them because hurr durr, fascists hate everyone who is not like them. They even have Frank Horrigan, a Super Mutant in power armour, because of course they do, of course these fascist humanists with strong opinions about mutants and poor people and tribals not being human would do the hypocrite transhumanist bit. You can't talk him into fucking off or killing himself but you can hack turrets to get help killing him and talk guys into helping you kill him. Weird, huh? People praised how you can talk The Master to death in Fallout 1 and end his dream of forced globalism and the new master race of mutant slaves unified under mandatory assimilation by telling him his master race is sterile and showing proof.

To a liberal, fascism is a vague idea. Unity, force, assimilation, control, order, the man, loss of individuality, self improvement, having standards, wanting living space, opposing authority, being authority, this is all fascist. Britain is fascist because it wasn't eager enough to start killing Germans sooner. America is fascist because sometimes it acts against communist regimes instead of for them. The Enclave is fascist because they wear power armour and go mwahaha and slaughter the innocent and helpless for no real reason. It doesn't matter if the fascists are objectively right to be "racist" against Ghouls and Super Mutants. It doesn't matter if democracy is such a shitshow in Star Wars everyone wants to go back to the Galactic Empire and reform it by any means necessary. Truth doesn't matter, only ideals, but the only ideals that matter is the herd, and the herd hates fascism because the herdmaster says fascism is collectivism but bad and also individualism but bad.

Even though in the Fallout Equestria setting they are just Pegasi who got sick of the surface world and its wars, they are shoehorned into the role of the Deep State Bad Military Men Serving Fake Presidents On Oil Rigs. Blackjack irrationally hates them because the author irrationally hates them. How dare those Pegasi not die to the last man fighting for a liberal shithole Equestria full of satanic zebra nuclear suicide bombers. How dare they suck at protecting charity workers. You know, as if they were obligated to try harder to feed and clothe and civilize the violent wasteland. But not with too much force of course, that would be fascist. No, you have to do it with extreme violence while saying it's for liberal democracy, that makes it okay. That makes everything okay.

More like ogay. God I'm hilarious.

>>376485
Anon, you seem to be doing better for yourself and I'm happy for you, just wanted to say

>>376485
Hi, I haven't talked to you since, but just wanted to say, welcome back, friend.

Kkat is fucking deranged.

He might not realize it, it might not motivate him to hurt others in real life through any method except voting for evil, but Kkat's story is one where a narcissistic murderhobo kills and robs and kills again until all the "inherently bad" are dead and all the "inherently good" get to enforce a liberal democracy where the grass is edible again and scarcity is gone. Ponies stop shitting in their beds and making guro art on walls for fun because they can eat grass again. Littlepip's plan for defeating the "fascists" was to take from them their superior capacity to feed themselves and others in the hopes that it forces them to rely on the surface world scavenging 200 year old ruins for food and they never resent the surface world for this... and nobody ever questions her assumed moral right to do this but her plan ends up being irrelevant when the author lets her noclip into the dev area and undo the apocalypse at will.

What libtardism does to a mf.

There's a masterpiece of a game that says it's morally wrong to try to read into an artist through what they create. Making dark violent art isn't necessarily a sign that you're mentally in a dark violent place, maybe you just want to make something dark and violent for fun or think it will sell well. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes it's not that deep. Maybe that chick made that shooter game full of advertisements of hot babes because she's saying something profound about advertising and art and maybe it's there because she's a victim of a body image disorder that causes her to resent hot babes in ads. Maybe that guy who made beautiful robot chicks die horribly in a shooter full of guro shit actually likes guro shit and maybe he's intentionally trying to make people uncomfortable by contrasting the beautiful with the grotesque, but either way that doesn't make his game any less of a coomer game than the shooter one where you're a hot buff demon chick.

And then there's chatoyance, a smug spoiled brat of a liberal boomer who, despite supposedly being in a loving relationship with two men, only bitched at me about how much he secretly resented them for feeling like their adopted parent when we talked about them, and every day he goes to his hugbox on fimfic to rant about hating Trump, wanting whites to be genocided, claiming antifa doesn't exist and did nothing wrong, loving the feeling of being lonely in No Man's Sky, ranting about hating humanity, crying about not being in Star Trek or the Friendship Is Optimal setting where humanity was so pathetically obsessed with escapism, an AI was able to talk most of humanity into killing themselves while uploading bad copies of themselves to Pornhub's VR Chat server's Equestria section. Or the Conversion Bureau setting where Equestria warps into Earth and forces humanity to choose death as soulless meat automatons or assimilation into ponyland while abandoning everything the author sees as toxically masculine about whites and humanity as a whole. You don't get to marry Twilight Sparkle, unless you're someone very lucky you become one of countless nameless faceless nobodies sent miles away from the ponies to figure Equestrian culture out from fucking books with no real pony friends because the author has terminal Scifi Brainrot and one of the earliest symptoms is Accute Dyscalculal Scaleosis, the inability to understand numbers when it comes to any sense of scale. He didn't grow up surrounded by crackhead wiggers in a slum in the ass end of nowhere, he had it too good and always felt he deserved better and humanity failed him for not giving him better. Every time his father forced him to move around the country that was a fresh chance to start over and make new friends but he chose to see evil in masculinity and white normalcy and this alienated him from most people and drove him into the manipulative arms of libtardism. He poisoned his loved ones with the killshot, the clot shot, the vax, call it what you want. And he's so fucking angry over the failures of his ideology. He wrote liberal propaganda taken to such an extreme it alienated other liberals and caused them to hate him for being different because that is liberalism's true face even when you're not a threat to its power, even when you only accidentally did a heresy against the liberal idea that liberals in power with sufficient power and technology can cure anything ever without needing any help from non-liberal ideologies or non-liberal alien friends or non-liberal gods. He has it so good he can go anywhere and do anything and he still rants in his hugbox about wanting whites genocided while he could be spending his final years offline surrounded by loved ones. Why love when you can hate? What libtardism does to a mf.

Fallout Equestria Project Horizons is so inconsistent in quality and full of holes because it's trying to fix Fallout Equestria by treating the symptoms (nonsense worldbuilding, bad main plot, invincible narcissist protagonist with uninteresting one-note gun drones for NPC allies) and ignoring the disease of liberalism. And being a manchild who doesn't get economies or people or storytelling but I repeat myself. And the fundamental incompatibility of ponies and Bethesda's Fallout. Ponies in Dark Setting works when you look at Dark Souls and admire the way goodness and kindness shines brighter in hell and struggling to hold on to what matters and do what's right has value. Bethesda's Fallout is a shooting gallery for children who wish they were playing Borderlands 2 right now.

>>376610
Literally the last two posts were praising your restraint and development, and then

>>376613
They were glad I was back and doing better than ever. If I was still a kid I'd rant about how great things are for me right now thanks to my own hard work but that was always a stupid thing for me to do.

Libtardism is the mind virus responsible for the fic sucking gay asshole. If I can't say that here because "post too long, how dare you not restrain yourself for me" where can I say it? Project Horizons exists because the author wanted to fix what personally frustrated him about this mediocre overhyped shitfic and prove to the fandom he can do better, yet his libtardism stops him from recognizing the Enclave in Fallout is objectively right, and his stated admiration of kkat (and desire not to alienate his fanbase by rewriting the dumbest parts of kkat's canon, making the fic niche within a niche within a niche) keeps him from rewriting shit.

Pegasi shouldn't be conscripted by an incompetent government directed by six young adults, one incompetent ruler who's been on the moon for a thousand years, and one mindbroken ruler, and sent to die killing a force your own country is importing and desperately trying and failing to civilize and integrate. Not one pony should have to fear a Zebra caravan full of rapefugees using military-grade chemical weapons against their foals or anyone else's foals just because the automated turrets activated when the hungry ziggers broke in to rob a school in the middle of fucking nowhere. pony columbnine/eleven's consequence: Mindbroken Celestia, Luna in power, Zigs malding harder.

>"bUt OnLy A fAsCiSt WoUlD oPpOsE wAr!"

The Enclave is painted as "evil and fascist and jingoistic and ruled by a transhumanist cultist madman who wants to become God" because this is what Evil looks like to the pozzed western mind. You don't draw devil horns on someone to show he's evil, you draw a SS uniform and a hitler moustache on him like the "Fascist Authority" in Rage. Making him a fat ugly diseased Trump "parody" like in Rage 2 is an option, but he wasn't relevant when FOE was written and Hitler will continue to be the enduring satanic Archetype of the new world order's satanism until they are destroyed.

I didn't feel like saying this until now but if Princess Luna walked into Zebrica and offered up her head, the Ziggers convinced "Nightmare Moon is Luna and the stars are eldritch abominations out to get us" might have stopped being pure evil in the name of respecting their own objectively evil morally and scientifically inferior backwards religion's beliefs. Or maybe not, who knows?

Just imagine a Fallout Equestria fanfiction where a Mare at an Enclave rally cheers, begs for them to bring her boys home before this war kills them, and then the jackbooted government thugs of Pinkie Pie's secret police show up to put everyone in re-education camps.

>"the jackbooted government thugs of Pinkie Pie's secret police"...

This is too divorced from reality for anything serious to be taken seriously. FOE fans would get mad because "How dare you humanize the Enclave" and "The Enclave didn't exist at that point in canon, they weren't a political movement, they were le ebil secret fascist sympathizers in teh govt".

Fanfictions have to take the "Yes, and" approach to writing if they don't want to alienate viewers by saying "No, actually" instead. It comes with the territory. If you say "No, that's fucking retarded" and substitute your own headcanons for "real" canon you alienate fans of that shit canon even if your own story ends up better for it. There is no salvaging this shit, it's just too fucking retarded.

Twilight suddenly has a brother and he's married to a third alicorn with a whole kingdom, Discord is friends with Fluttershy, Twilight runs a retarded school to teach foreigners ethics yet sucks and requires these kids to figure it out for themselves through trial and error, and Pinkie Pie is married to Weird Al's self-insert? Yes, and... Any story just has to deal with that, ignore it, or provide an excuse for why certain show elements don't show up when they should, or alienate fans of this nonsense by rejecting it entirely and saying no, there are two Alicorns, Twilight doesn't have a brother, and nothing after season one is canon.

Fallout's world went to war with itself and nuked itself because "We started running out of resources, especially oil, let's invade Canada for fucking OIL" even though nuclear power can produce more than enough energy for everyone's energy needs, and Fallout cars have their own nuclear reactor engines that go boom when shot enough.

It's been 200 years and that bitch running a trading post out of a pre-war diner can't be arsed to clean the Environmental Storytelling Skeletons from her living space. The new Fallout TV show came out and said it's Canon(tm) that Vault-Tec nuked the world to create instant demand for nuclear shelters instead of being paid to make more and also so they can have all the money ever, and Shady Sands was nuked so the show can contain nostalgiabait memberberries without the NCR getting in the way of being bootleg Borderlands but gayer.

Fallout Equestria let the ziggers in, they attacked because "the night is evil", they were given Healing ICBMs because Fluttershy thought if nobody could be hurt nobody would be evil, the ziggers detonated hellfire megaspells in Equestria because "I'm not letting Nightmare Moon win". Fluttershy's "kindness" led to the downfall of Equestria but she gets to survive this shit and live happily ever while her friends get horribly killed and Celestia gets trapped in a fucking machine to powerlessly watch this meat grinder of a world keep churning..Luna's skull was worn by a red and black Alicorn OC and bronies call this shit "peak".

To make a good coherent story you have to let go of the past and learn from its mistakes.

Can't keep coming back to these died-up old wells. There are older stories, ancient stories, with better lessons to teach.

"Let go, and begin again" was what FNV wanted to teach.

>>376616
If you weren't a self-absorbed twat you would realize (it's obvious, look at the poster ID) that I was one of the people trying to give credit for ny dong what you are now doing in spades
>To make a good coherent story you have to
When have you ever made a good coherent story?

>>376616
>If I was still a kid I'd rant
>proceeds to rant
Congrats on growing up my dude

>>376263

Anyway, the party is in some old high school for some reason or other; I think they're here to search for old computer parts or something. They head to the Library and poke around a little.

>he looked down at a textbook showing two red-striped zebras. I thought they looked a bit like hooved candy canes myself. I looked at the caption beneath. ‘The Proditor, or ‘traitors’ in the zebra tongue, were those few zebras willing and allowed to fight for Equestria against their own kind. Using talismans to permanently alter their stripe color, they fought with distinction until being phased out due to security concerns after the Battle of Shattered Hoof Ridge.’
Always kill a traitor before an enemy, Jim Jam.

>I noticed the Crusaders were looking a bit nervous. “What’s up?” I asked them. “First day of school jitters?”
Wait, the Crusaders? Why are they here? Have they been here the whole time?

I went back to the beginning of the chapter and found this:
>The seven of us had stumbled onto the grounds and been ordered to report to the office or face immediate vaporization.
This is literally the only indication we are given that the party is larger than its usual three members.

This is why setting the scene is important. This is also why it's important to make sure all characters are active in any scene they appear in. If you can't handle this, or you've got too many characters in a scene to keep track of, then you need to tailor your scenes so that only the essential characters are included. The reader can't see what's in your head, so you have to paint as complete an image for them as possible.

I re-read the beginning portion of this chapter, as well as the end of the previous chapter, and here is what I think is going on:

The four Crusaders, whose names are Adagio, Medley, Sonata and Allegro, are apparently tagging along with the party for some yet-unexplained reason. They are a hold-over from the previous episode: the ranchers had accused them of being cattle-rustlers, but it turned out that the dragons were the real culprits. After the dragons were dealt with, the party left the ranchers' land, and the Crusaders went with them.

To the author's credit, on closer inspection I see that he does explicitly note the presence of the additional party members. In the culvert scene that ends Chapter 8, he briefly describes their sleeping arrangement and notes that there are seven ponies in their group.

However, this is not enough to reinforce the presence of the new characters. For most of the adventure so far, the party has either consisted of Blackjack, Morning Glory and P-21, or just Blackjack and P-21 traveling as a duo. The four foals are a new addition, and they haven't really done all that much to distinguish themselves. What's more, the closing scene of the previous chapter didn't focus on them at all; they were apparently sleeping in the culvert while the fight was going on.

It was also not made explicitly clear at the end of the chapter that the seven of them would continue to travel together. There's no obvious reason why they should, and there's been little mention of them. I had assumed the party and the Crusaders would have parted ways by now, so I haven't been imagining them as part of the scene.

Again: this is why it's important to properly set a scene. The last two sections of Chapter 8 were mostly focused on conversation, with very little attention paid to the party's surroundings. The second to last scene, where they are all listening to the radio, I had envisioned taking place back at the bunker where the party first encountered the Crusaders, but upon closer inspection it seems like they were all on the road together. The opening scene of this chapter just dumps us unceremoniously into this school, with absolutely no explanation given as to what even the three main party members would be doing there, let alone four ancillary characters who have no obvious reason to be tagging along.

Things like this shouldn't be ambiguous. If the dialogue in a given scene is more important than the action then by all means focus on dialogue, but at the same time it should be clear to the reader where the characters are and what they are doing. Moreover, if you're going to have seven characters in a scene, then all seven of them need to be actively involved in whatever is going on. Characters who stand in the background and don't speak are quickly forgotten. Even if the main focus is on P-21, BJ and MG, the four crusaders should either be interjecting lines into the conversation periodically, or doing stuff in the background that reinforces their presence. Remember: the reader can't see what's in your head; they need to be told what's going on.

Anyway, the party is in the Library of this old high school for some reason or another. The author has at least established that much. It seems that the Crusaders at least have some general knowledge of this place, so maybe the idea is that they're acting as guides or something.

>“It’s just…” Adagio muttered, “…there’s supposed to be ghosts here.”
>I would have laughed, but then again I laughed when Scoodle had seemed afraid in the boneyard. Not again. Besides, with the Wasteland, who knew what you might run into? “Well. If there are, they’ll have to get through me first!” I replied
Ghosts are by definition incorporeal, so getting through her shouldn't be all that hard. Just sayin.

>Using their hall passes, P-21, Glory, and the Crusaders dispersed from the classroom and set about looting anything edible, drinkable, or medical they could get their hooves on.
>This left me alone in the second floor of the library and looking out at Brimstone's Fall.
Yet again, we see the after-effects of poor scene-setting cascading downward and causing ripple-effects that ruin enjoyment of the story. Are they in the library or a classroom? Or is the entire building a library? If so, then does that mean it's not a school? Things like this shouldn't be ambiguous.

>>376645

>And we were doomed because I was going to have to come up with a plan. Me. The not a smart pony.
First of all, this sentence:
>The not a smart pony.
is bad and you should feel bad. In fiction it's permissible to play fast and loose with grammar for effect, but your prose needs to at least be readable. Simply adding a few hyphens would make all the difference:
>The not-a-smart-pony.

Second, it's not clear why the task of coming up with a plan should automatically fall on Blackjack's shoulders. Actually, third, it's not even clear why anyone needs to come up with a plan, since it's never even been established what the fuck they are doing here in the first place.

>Brimstone's Fall wasn’t much to look at, really; just a round, jagged hole punched in the badlands’ surface. It had been a gemstone mine. Then, during the height of the war, a dragon had fallen right on top of the mine workings. The ‘Shadowbolts’ pegasus strike force, along with heavy ground support, slew a powerful dragon allied with the zebras, but hundreds of soldiers had died before the dragon perished. I knew all of this because there was a framed news article hanging next to the window.
>In two hundred years it hadn’t changed much. It lay right beside rail lines stretching to the southwest, towards Fillydelphia. On the surface were a large administration building and two long barracks-style houses. Since I didn’t see any slaves, I assumed that they had to be quartered underground. Two nested chain link fences topped by razor wire surrounded the hole and the three buildings, with a guarded hoof bridge built over the rail spurs where they passed through the fences. A chain link gate blocked the space under the bridge. Maybe we could find--
Fascinating, but my original question still stands: why the fuck did you come here and what the fuck are you trying to achieve?

If I remember correctly, back at the Wal-Mart BJ mentioned something about going to Paradise or Belcher's Grove or wherever Bottlecap's sister is supposed to be running her slave operation, to try and put a dent in the slave trade because slavery is icky. Maybe that's why they came here? The above paragraph mentions slaves, so for the sake of my own sanity I'm just going to proceed on this assumption.

Anyway, while she's staring out the window, she gets a weird feeling and spins around, but sees nothing. Her PipBuck also doesn't show any enemies. However, she keeps seeing mysterious movements out of the corner of her eye, and the Crusaders mentioned ghosts earlier. Presumably, this is meant to foreshadow whatever monster-of-the-week is going to appear in this episode.

P-21 returns to whatever room BJ is in, apparently finished with whatever area he was exploring of whatever building they are in. He tosses her a Sparkle-Cola.

>I caught it with my magic and deftly popped the top. It was warm, but it was Sparkle-Cola.
As an aside, is there any logical way she would even know what Sparkle-Cola tastes like cold? Seems to me refrigeration would be a lost science by now. From what I understand, they've mostly been getting their soda from old vending machines, but I would assume that the only way to do this would be to break into them. Unless they're powered by some kind of self-sustaining magic, the machines themselves logically ought to have stopped working by now. Details like this aren't going to make or break a story, but putting thought into them will go a long way towards making your setting believable.

>“Yeah. Just trying to figure out how to get in there,” I said as I scanned the mine once again for some chink in their defenses. The guards moved in threes and fours. There wasn’t the slightest bit of cover to use to approach from the ground. And then there were the neighbors. Along the highway between the mine and the road was a strip mall. Most of the shops seemed more or less intact and there was a large gathering of ponies there. At least twenty or so. “Allegro? Who’re they?”
>He trotted to the window and I held the binoculars for him. “Oh, them. Pecos. They’re just a gang outta Flank. Not as crazy as raiders. They usually work protection for the slavers.”
>Great. Between the Pecos and the slavers I was looking at forty or fifty enemies. “They’re not slavers?”
Seriously, wtf are you guys even trying to accomplish here? From context, we can more or less piece together that this location is some kind of slavers' compound, and our little group of three seven friends is trying to infiltrate it because reasons. However, I must once again protest that no actual goal has yet been established. We can see what these characters are doing, but can only guess as to why they are doing it. This was one of the most pervasive problems in the first story.

>>376646

Thanks to my old friend Ctrl-F, I was able to find this in Chapter 7:

>“Are you able to?” Bottlecap stood and walked to me with a probing expression. “Because if you want to do something in the Wasteland, somepony is going to get hurt. Maybe you. Maybe your friends. Maybe somepony who deserves to hurt. Maybe somepony who doesn’t. Can you handle it?”

>Then I realized what she was asking me. Could I hurt? Could I kill? Could I handle paying the price for being a killer, or would I keep breaking over and over again till there was nothing left? “I don’t know,” I replied. “I thought I was. Now I don’t know what to think.”

>“Guess we’ll find out,” Bottlecap said softly. “You already struck a blow against her, thanks to DJ Pon3. I’ll never know how he got that recording, but I’m sure every slaving band is wondering just how much of a threat you really are. The more you disrupt supply, the better. But, eventually, you’ll have to tackle the demand. Some, like Red Eye in Fillydelphia, probably wouldn’t stop unless he died. But there are others, like Brimstone's Fall, where the slave operations are smaller and more manageable.”

>I glanced at my PipBuck and noticed that it had added a square far to the south and west of Megamart. How did it do that? Bottlecap noticed my look and smiled. “I can’t, of course, offer you a contract for this. If my sisters thought I was deliberately undermining them, it would be all-out war within the Finders.”

>I looked back at her. Do better. Could I? I had to. Otherwise I’d be nothing more than a killer. “Know of any contract work in the area?” I offered a tense smile. “After all, trouble seems to find me easily enough. When it does, who can say what’ll happen?”

The idea here seems to be that Bottlecap is asking Blackjack if she would be willing to take down her sister's slaving operation. She can't outright hire BJ to do this, since she can't be seen publicly moving against her sister, but she is clearly suggesting it. What's more, BJ seems to be willing to take the assignment, more for moral reasons than practical ones. This is the first time Brimstone's Fall is mentioned in the text, so presumably this is the answer to the question of why they would come here.

This at least provides BJ with a clear goal, and the dialogue does a reasonably good job clarifying her reasons for undertaking it. Everything would be fine and dandy, except in the very next scene we have this:

>The jobs were simple and legitimate. Patrol the Sunset Highway between Megamart and Flank, poke through the Miramare Air Station for some electronic parts, and deliver some mail to Flank’s residents. The route would also take me within spitting distance of Brimstone's Fall. If something should happen that put a dent in the demand side of the slave trade, then it’d not only help the people of the Wasteland but Bottlecap as well.
The implication here is that BJ & Co. are taking on three new contracts to replace the previous three which they completed. While the near-term goal is still to get to Brimstone's Fall, we should expect that these three tasks will need to be taken care of beforehand.

Generally, the best way to tell a large and complicated story is to break it into small episodes. There is a grand adventure that serves as the main plot of the story, but the journey is long, and will consist of many smaller quests that take place along the way.

Consider Fellowship of the Ring. Gandalf tells Frodo the legend and origins of the Ring, then instructs him to take it to Rivendell. However, first they are going to have to make it to the nearby village of Bree and meet up with Strider. This is Tolkien laying out the story and telling the reader what to expect: the main plot of the novel is going to focus on the journey to Rivendell, but the first episode is going to focus on the journey to Bree. The Rivendell trip itself is implied to be only a single episode in an even larger journey that is hinted at but not yet fully fleshed out.

The idea is to break the main story into episodic microstories so the reader isn't overwhelmed. This is especially important in large, complicated stories that involve a lot of locations, events and characters. Each episode should have its own clear beginning, middle and end, with each episode itself serving as a waypoint in the larger story. You should not begin a new episode until the previous one has concluded.

However, Somber has given us a bit of a rug-pull. He's already set up a couple of long-term goals for his character: defeat the wankers who invaded her Stable, and get macguffin.mp3 decoded. He then adds a medium-term goal to the mix: take down the slaving operation run by Bottlecap's sister, because morals or whatever. To accomplish this, he assigns BJ three short-term goals, which are basically just one-off quests that serve the dual purpose of earning the group some money (essential to the long-term goal) and bringing them closer to the slaver group (essential to the mid-term goal).

One would thus expect that the next item on BJ's agenda would involve one of these three short-term goals; however, they were sidetracked by the episode with the dragons, due to an unexpected encounter. That's fine, but now that this side-quest is complete, we should expect the party to return to its original goals.

Patrolling the highway is kind of an open-ended quest that could be done concurrently with the others, so logically, in the next major episode, BJ should either:
>poke through the Miramare Air Station for some electronic parts
or
>deliver some mail to Flank’s residents

However, instead of doing either of these things, they are suddenly in Brimstone Falls, exploring some previously-unmentioned school for some yet-unexplained reason. The effect is jarring; it's like Gandalf telling Frodo that he needs to go to Rivendell, but then in the next chapter they're suddenly in the Misty Mountains.

>>376647

Anywho, BJ stands at the window watching the slavers and plotting her next move. It's a pretty standard FoE setup: the slavers operate in some kind of underground tunnel network called the Mines, and use trains to move their cargo. They have a semi-organized bandit gang called the Pecos working security for them. Lots of guards, probably monsters and whatever too, going down there would be certain death, yada yada yada she's going to go down there anyway, because reasons.

She decides that the best way to infiltrate the compound is to disguise herself as one of the Pecos and sneak in. This seems like kind of a dumb idea, since she is now one of the most recognizable figures in the entire Wasteland, and on top of that she has a huge bounty on her head. I think she's well past the point where taking off her stable barding and putting on a hat is a sufficient enough effort to disguise herself. However, I will once again give Somber a few points for improving on kkat's formula here: this plan is slightly less ridiculous than Littlepip's Rambo-style one-mare-army infiltration of the slaver compound, and considerably less ridiculous than that trick she used where she made herself suddenly invisible by hiding behind a bedsheet.

>The sun was just starting to set when the train returned. Lots of empty boxes and crates; apparently the trade was all one way. Did the gems go back to Paradise, or somewhere else?
Apparently, the Mines are literal mines, and the slavers are using the slaves to mine gems for some reason. I had assumed the slavers were in the business of simply catching and selling slaves, not putting them to work, but it seems I was wrong. At this point I don't expect the economics in this or any FoE story to make even a lick of sense, so I'm just going to roll with it. The slavers round up slaves and have them mine gems, which are apparently valuable, but not as valuable as the worthless bottlecaps these retards all use for currency. Got it; let's move on.

Anyway, since the conversation is apparently over for now, P-21, MG and the foals run off once again to scavenge more supplies or whatever, while BJ stands pondering the futility of her latest undertaking. However, she can't quite shake the feeling that she's not alone in the room. It turns out that her suspicions are justified:

>Something shimmered faintly as hooves clattered on the teacher’s desk top. Then a long, thin rifle barrel appeared from thin air, pressing right against my forehead. This close, I could make out the faintest of blurs in the air.
Yada yada yada, it turns out to be a zebra sniper wearing some kind of invisibility cloak.

>I had to admit I was impressed and scared out of my gourd at the same time.
This sentence is bad and you should feel bad.

Anyway, BJ correctly deduces that the zebra is not a threat, since he has an obvious advantage and could have easily killed her multiple times by now if he'd wanted to. He introduces himself as Lancer.

>“Okay, Lancer. Like I said. I don’t think you want to kill me. I’d rather not kill you.”
>“Liar,” he said quietly. “All ponies do. It is what you live for.”
>“Of all the shit going on my life, you’re telling me I’m going to get killed over a war that was over two centuries ago?”
>“The war is not over. The Remnant persists,” he answered.
Is there any particular reason BJ would assume the war is Lancer's motivation for thinking this way? Given everything we've seen in this setting so far, it's not hard to imagine a casual non-pony observer reaching the conclusion that killing is what ponies live for, with or without any knowledge of the war.

Anyway, BJ doesn't really want to fight this guy, but at the same time, he's holding a gun on her. When MG and the foals return to the room for the second time in like fifteen minutes, BJ takes advantage of his momentary distraction and disarms him. However, he recovers quickly, and they end up in whatever the equine equivalent of a Mexican standoff would be. She proposes a truce. The zebra reluctantly agrees, and they both lower their weapons.

>“Right. So. Like I said. I don’t want to kill you. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to kill me.” I looked out the window and gestured to the mine with my head. “In fact, I bet you’re here for the same reason I am: free the slaves?”
I get that she's trying to reassure him of her good intentions, but is there any plausible reason why she should assume this? The most likely explanation for his being here is that he just wants to loot supplies.

Unfortunately, the conversation gets rather silly from here. Lancer asks Blackjack if she "serves the stars." Naturally, BJ has no idea what the fuck he's on about, though we can probably assume it has something to do with that wacky zebra religion from the first book. She tells him that no, she doesn't serve the fucking stars. He then asks her whom, if not the fucking stars, does she serve? She explains that she serves the idea of making things better. The zebra accepts this explanation, and agrees to help her free the slaves. Glad we got that all sorted out.

Anyway, at this point, P-21 returns with the cowboy hat and jacket that BJ asked him to fetch. She now explains her moronic plan to disguise herself by putting on a hat, gain the trust of the Pecos, and then something something free the slaves. However, in her defense, she's not completely retarded: she tasks this zebra she just met, whose loyalty she has absolutely no reason to trust, with sitting on a nearby roof and covering her with his sniper rifle.

She now asks everyone in the party to turn over all of their booze and cigarettes, and then heads for the door. On her way out, one of the foals warns her that the zebra is not to be trusted:

>“He’s a bad zebra. The Remnants… they do terrible things, Blackjack,” the filly said as she shivered.
I'm assuming the "Remnants" are another one of these goofball factions, probably some kind of holdover from the war.

>>376658

The foal continues:

>“We can’t stay here. Soon as we can, we’re gonna run. Robots won’t chase us far if they catch us at all.”
>“But where will you go?”
>“We got a place over near Chapel. We’ll head there.” She pointed with a hoof along the railroad tracks.
I will once again protest that there is no clear reason why these foals are tagging along with the party in the first place, or why any of them came to this school. If the foals have a hideout in Chapel, wherever that is exactly, then logically that would have been their destination after the dragon episode concluded, just like the party's next logical destination should have been either the Miramare Air Station or Flank.

>I stepped back and let her run down the hall towards the stairs. The other three peeled out of their hiding places to follow her. Great. And now my mane was itching again.
What is the deal with her mane always itching, anyway? Does she have lice, or is it supposed to be some kind of indication that she senses danger? Since she is almost constantly in danger and her mane is almost constantly itching, it's a little hard to tell.

Anyway, whatever; the Crusaders take off, so I guess we don't have to worry about them anymore. I'm still not sure why the author decided to include them in this episode at all, since there's no logical reason they should even be here and they didn't really contribute anything, but we'll put a pin in that for now. The scene ends in a page break.

>I was not a smart pony. For example, none of my plans were completely pulled together. There were little gaps here and there that I had to fill in on the fly. Actually, if you looked at all my plans, that’s how they generally ran. Nice strings of improvisation piecing together a tiny bit of solid reasoning. This plan was simple: send the Pecos off on a wild parasprite hunt to the north. It wasn’t always just because my brain was being lazy, though. Sometimes, it was because that no matter how well you plan, you’ll always hit that point where everything falls apart.
Wait, the plan is to do what now? Send the Pecos up north? I thought the plan was to put on a hat and pretend to be one of them while the zebra you just met trains a sniper rifle on you. I'm hella confused rn. Oh, whatever; her zany plans are still better than any of Littlepip's.

So anywho, BJ leaves the school, presumably dodging the killer detention-robots somehow, and makes her way towards the strip mall where the Pecos are hiding out. On the way, she hears gunfire, though it is not directed at her. However, in addition to a penchant for zany, convoluted schemes, it turns out BJ also share's Littlepip's inability to avoid sticking her nose where it doesn't belong, so she diverts herself off course to go check it out.

It turns out that the gunfire she heard was a fight between two ponies and a radscorpion. The ponies are having trouble aiming because it's getting dark out. However:

>Me? I had enough radiation in me that I knew exactly what I was aiming at!
So...I guess she's still radioactive for some reason or other, and...being radioactive somehow improves her aim? I'm hella confused rn.

Anyway, whatever; there's a brief scuffle, but ultimately the radscorpion is dispatched without incident. One of the ponies is stung during the battle, but as luck would have it BJ has some antivenom on hand, so she administers it.

>I pushed the mirrored glasses a little further up my muzzle as I checked the earth pony’s breathing.
Wait, she's still wearing those sunglasses? At night? Why?

Anyway, whatever. At this point, a searchlight on one of the guard towers suddenly lights up, and one of the guards jokes that he shouldn't have bet on the scorpion. The implication here is that the guards could have intervened in the fight, but chose not to.

>There was laughter, and then the voice warned, “Get back to your hole, Pecos.” A bullet smacked into the dirt at our hooves.
Wait, aren't the Pecos and the slaver guards supposed to be on the same side? I'm hella confused rn.

Anyway, whatever. Blackjack introduces herself as Marigold, which is the same fake name she gave the robot principal of the school that she was just exploring for some still-unexplained reason. So, I guess the plan is still to put on a hat and pretend to be a Pecos? The two ponies who had been fighting the scorpion introduce themselves as Dusty Trails and Tumbleweed. They also provide a bit of explanation for what is going on in...wherever the hell they are, Brimstone Falls I guess:

>“Well, you want my advice? Keep walking. Being a Pecos is hell out here. It’s fun enough when you can strut around in Flank, but we’re getting screwed in the worst ways here.”
>“Oh yeah?” My mane prickled like crazy. “How so?”
>“You just saw it. Sidewinder’s got his protection racket, but he gets the caps and we get left out here for weeks. We’re supposed to deal with the trouble, but all we really get is bashed around by those bastards at the mine, the critters in the waste, and any slaver looking to up their quota.”
From the explanation earlier, my understanding was that the slavers were conducting some kind of gem-mining operation, and the Pecos were providing protection. It's sounding like that's still more or less the case, but there seems to be some animosity between the two factions. This Sidewinder character I'm assuming is the leader of the Pecos, and it sounds like he takes the lion's share of the profits while the grunt soldiers get stuck doing all the fighting. However, if that's the case...why even stick around? If they're not getting paid, and the slavers are so unappreciative of their efforts that they casually shoot at the ponies who are supposed to be protecting their operation...what exactly is the incentive for the average Pecos to keep putting up with the abuse? Why not run off and find another faction to join that pays better? Why not just murder the slavers and take over their operation? This makes very little sense.

>>376659

Blackjack and the two Pecos ponies make their way to the strip mall:

>The strip mall had to be getting its power from somewhere, as neon light poured into the cracked parking lot. It wasn’t a town, per se. I couldn’t see ponies raising families here. It seemed more like a glorified hangout for the Pecos.
Yeah, I mean...isn't that exactly how it was described earlier? What were you expecting to find? According to the Crusaders:

>They’re just a gang outta Flank. Not as crazy as raiders. They usually work protection for the slavers.
So what exactly was BJ expecting to find here? A permanent settlement with families and kids? Does not grok.

And speaking of things that do not grok:

>“Yup. We’re not ‘licensed’ with Paradise, so better not be near the mine on your lonesome. They’ll invite you in and then never let you leave.” She sighed, “But being a Pecos is better than being solo, or so I keep telling myself every damned day.” I gave a grin and prayed to Celestia she didn’t ask me why I happened to be on my lonesome.
I'll once again restate my objection that this whole arrangement seems like a pretty bad deal for the Pecos. They are underpaid, underappreciated, and they run a daily risk of being captured and enslaved? Seems like there are easier ways to make a living out here.

Also, Blackjack brings up a pretty good point: why aren't these two more curious about her origins? I mean, there are all these reports on the radio about a mysterious unicorn mare with a black and red mane who goes around murdering slavers, right? And then one day, this mysterious unicorn mare with a black and red mane suddenly shows up near the slaver colony and is all like, "Hello there, fellow Pecos, could you please explain everything about being a Pecos to me, even though I am a Pecos like you and should already know all of it?" But no, this mare couldn't possibly be a suspicious character. I mean, she's wearing a cowboy hat, right? That means she's a Pecos, even if we know every Pecos around here and have never seen her before. Makes perfect sense.

>“I’m gonna go lay down, Dusty,” Tumbleweed said, the brown mare giving me a grateful smile.
Is she gonna go lay down the law? If not, then Tumbleweed is gonna go lie down.

>There was something in her vacuous eyes that bothered me. She kept… twitching. And swallowing.
Oh, you say that about everypony with vacuous eyes who's always twitching and swallowing. How about a little trust?

Anyway, they all go into the saloon, and BJ joins a card game. As they play, Dusty Bottoms tells BJ her life story. It's a pretty standard deal: her parents were caravan traders, until one day her father did business with some raiders who slipped a landmine into his backpack. He kerploded, and after that Dusty was captured and enslaved. She spent her formative years as a sex slave/housekeeper for some kindly old mare, who willed her to her granddaughter after she died. However, the granddaughter didn't have much use for a sex slave/housekeeper, so she set her free. Dusty then ran off to pursue a life of being a rootin' tootin' outlaw.

Once she finishes telling her story, the rest of the Pecos at the poker table tell theirs. They're basically all just variations on the same theme, so there's no need to go into detail here. However, the author slips in a seemingly-important tidbit of information: apparently, there is still a functioning power supply somewhere in this city, which one of the Pecos was able to hook up to the strip mall. This seems to clear up the mystery of how the neon lights were functioning. More to the point, this power source seems to have something to do with The Core, which has been mentioned a few times now.

This part seems especially relevant:

> “But yeah. They buried all kinds of stuff underground. Folks might not realize it, but Hoofington’s a fucking fortress. The whole city was designed by the best minds at the M.W.T. and Stable-Tec. The zebras seemed so dead set on destroying the city that they had to. At the end of the war, Hoofington was getting attacked by the hour. Zebras wanted it bad, but they never took it,” she explained as she drew four cards with a soft hiss of disappointment. “Now the underground is ghoul territory, and worse. Drives the Steel Rangers crazy, not being able to get at all the tech buried down there.”
Presumably, BJ will end up exploring this area at some point.

Anywho, it turns out these rootin' tootin' outlaws aren't quite as retarded as they seemed at first. They manage to guess that Blackjack is a Stable pony, yet for some reason don't make the connection that she's also the famous Security mare with the 10,000 bit bounty on her head. Maybe they're not quite as rootin' tootin' as they seemed at first, either. In any case, BJ manages to bluff her way past them with a mostly-true account of her backstory, which they seem to accept.

>“So why’d you join the Pecos?” Dusty asked me.
>Technically I hadn’t. “I dunno really,” I said, thinking. If I had to join the Pecos, why would I? Then I looked at the bottle of whiskey, the cards, and the ponies around me. “Guess so that I wouldn’t be lonely any more. Have a life like I did in 99.”
You know, this actually brings up a pretty good point. Why doesn't she just join the Pecos? They seem to lead a merry life, apart from the radscorpions and the shitty wages and the constant threat of slavery dangling over their heads like the sword of Damocles. And on top of that, this gang clearly isn't all that hard to join. From what I can tell, all you have to do is show up at their hideout wearing a hat and they immediately accept you as one of their own. Seems like joining up with them would be a fair sight less complicated than...whatever she's trying to do here, exactly.

>>376658
>At this point I don't expect the economics in this or any FoE story to make even a lick of sense, so I'm just going to roll with it
You'll spare yourself by doing so
>>376659
>she's still wearing those sunglasses? At night? Why?
So she can so she can keep track of the visions in her eyes?
You knew it was coming
Without knowing your method of drafting these posts, would you consider it disruptive if someone were to occasionally step in and summarize sections? I can't imagine you're in a hurry to take any longer than necessary in scaling the entirety of this

Can Crapflap and her friends really claim killing Slavers is "Self-Defense" if they go to the Slaver place full of Slavers with the explicit goal of shooting Slavers and freeing their property, maybe even collecting bounties put on Slavers for being Slavers by anti-Slavers in another location where Slavery is illegal?

It all seems rather videogamey. That location on your map is full of bad guys who love doing bad things and if you shoot them all you're still a hero.

No consideration given to the economic forces behind slavery. No consideration given to the setting's resource scarcity. Are the Slavers people forced into working for slavers because the alternative is to raid civilized places for your daily food and water, or scavenge areas full of enemy scavengers? Have the anti-slavery poners tried to build a functional society where people can find honest work and learn valuable trades without needing to be wandering thieves, armed organized thieves, slavers, or slaves? Are the Slavers working for the greater good of the Wasteland by forcing the weak into back breaking labor to solve post apocalyptic problems and build a sustainable future long term? No, the slavers are ugly edgy bad guys who go mwahaha and Littlepoop- I mean Crapflap is totally justified in going on the warpath and invading their territory and gunning down every last one of them and sending caged poners on their way like videogame NPCs who vanish when out of view.

>>376750
>No consideration given to the economic forces behind slavery. No consideration given to the setting's resource scarcity
GG just came around to "the monetary system is retarded, just go with it", don't you start on. Besides, Somber at least has the presence of mind to separate the slavers from the Pecos, giving insight into the idea that "hey, not all the antagonists and non-heroes are mustache-twirling comic book villains".
You might consider having nuance like that, ya know. If you were a writer that is, just saying.

>>376663
>Without knowing your method of drafting these posts, would you consider it disruptive if someone were to occasionally step in and summarize sections? I can't imagine you're in a hurry to take any longer than necessary in scaling the entirety of this
I don't have any objections I suppose, though I will probably still continue to slog through the story at my own pace. I don't expect to finish this any time in the near future one way or the other.

>>376662

>A bit later, the game broke up as Big Red and Harbinger left. I needed a little bit of air, so I stepped outside… and into the faint drizzle. Not even really rain. I looked down at my hooves. Was there still power underneath me? Even after two centuries and the bombing? Hoofington was like a country within a country. Lots of secrets are buried here. Hoofington’s a fucking fortress. I looked to the north at the faint green glow in the distance. Secrets. Why did it feel like EC-1101 was burning a hole in my leg?
We're reaching levels of foreshadowing that shouldn't even be possible.

>A buck lay on the porch outside Twister’s, his muzzle pressed into a filthy plastic bag reeking of dung. He inhaled deeply over and over again, twitching.
Apparently, the Pecos have discovered the magic of jenkem.

Anyway, Dusty and Blackjack step out of the saloon, and their conversation continues:

>“So, guess you’re not one of Sidewinder’s more clueless spies.”
>“You thought I was a spy?”
>“Showing up in the middle of the night? Asking questions like you do? You’re something,” Dusty said with a grin as she looked up at the clouds.
Swing and a miss, Dusty. It seems that Somber is continuing yet another of kkat's established tropes: if you have an extremely dumb protagonist who needs to get away with doing something that is extremely dumb even by her already extremely dumb standards, just make sure that everyone else in the story is slightly dumber than she is.

On the other hand:

>“Dusty, how do you feel about slavery?”
>“Why do stable ponies ask the dumbest questions?” she asked in turn with a sigh and a frown. “It doesn’t matter how I feel. Slavery happens. It’s not even the worst thing that can happen to a pony. Ghouls losing their minds? Going crazy and turning into cannibals? Mutating into some creature? Being torn in half by waste critters? There’s a thousand and one ways to die. Wearing a slave collar is somewhere in the middle of that list.”
>“But is it okay?” I pressed.
>“It happens. Who cares if I think it’s okay?” she retorted with a frown as I pressed my luck. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”
I'm actually going to go ahead and revise my previous statement. I'm sure the author didn't intend it to be read as such, but Dusty's speech here is honestly the closest thing to a common-sense worldview I've ever come across in the Fallout: Equestria universe. Ten points for Gryffindor.

Unfortunately, though:

>“What if you could?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
>She stared at me, now looking scared. “Who the fuck are you really?” I just looked at her, pulling off the glasses to look straight into her eyes. She shook her head slowly. “No… fuck… no… no you’re not… no fucking way…”
It seems the last horse has finally crossed the finish line, so to speak. The hat might have fooled her for a few seconds, but Dusty can no longer deny what is right in front of her: the mysterious stranger who showed up out of nowhere, looking exactly like the "security mare" everyone is talking about is, in fact, the security mare everyone is talking about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40

So anyway, despite the momentary glimmer of sanity, this conversation is back to being a "who is the biggest retard" contest. So: who is the biggest retard? Dusty, the rootin' tootin' outlaw, who is just now figuring out that the stranger who showed up out of the blue wearing an obvious disguise is actually the infamous Security Mare? Or Blackjack, the infamous Security Mare, who went to the trouble of disguising herself as a rootin' tootin' outlaw, only to end up immediately blowing her own cover just because she can't shut her fucking yap about the ethics of slavery for thirty goddamn seconds? Cast your vote now.

>“No… I can’t… fuck… no! How-- how the fuck can you do this?” she hissed as she paced back and forth. “You saved my fucking life. You saved Tumbleweed’s too. How the...” She clenched her eyes shut as she sat and thumped the sides of her head. “This is some fucked up booze dream and I’m going to wake up right the fuck now.”
>I put a hoof on her shoulder. “It’s not a dream. It’s a chance to do better. I can’t guarantee it’ll work. In fact, given how my plans usually go, I’d be fucking scared to death. But it’s still a chance for a free life. For you. For those slaves in the mine.”
>Dusty Trails closed her eyes, raising her face to the clouds as the rain drizzled along her muzzle. Finally she pulled off her hat and sighed as she glared at me. “Fuck…”
My apologies to anyone who actually voted. As it turns out, they're both completely retarded. Blackjack, having just blown her own cover for no good reason, now proposes to Dusty that she betray both her employer and her fellow rootin' tootin' outlaws, in order to join this insane pony she just met on her non-paying quest to liberate some slaves or whatever, because morals and stuff. Dusty, whose mind appears to have been temporarily short-circuited by the revelation that Blackjack's hat was a lie, decides to do exactly that. Though, to be fair, it's not exactly like she is giving up an especially glamourous life or a lucrative career; she's basically just abandoning one bad deal in favor of another.

There is a page break. When the new scene opens, we learn that the entire Pecos gang has heard about Security's infiltration of their camp, and have rushed off to collect the bounty. However, it seems that Blackjack somehow fooled them into thinking she had gone east to Flank, when she actually went north towards the mine. So, they are all off on a wild goose chase and will apparently pose no further threat. The author provides no explanation for how she managed to pull off this little ruse.

Anyway, she follows one of the trains into the mine, accompanied, apparently, by Lancer, Morning Glory and P-21. Not sure when they joined up with her or how, but whatever; I guess we'll just roll with it. Lancer snipes some guards, and they sneak inside.

>>376771

P-21 and Glory go off to loot stuff or whatever, and BJ sneaks upstairs to some room where some guard is typing something on some terminal. He has what appears to be a slave mare chained up next to his bed, presumably so she can read him bedtime stories and help him wake up in time for work in the morning.

>He turned to spot me in my security barding and his hoof reached for the band.
So she changed back into her security barding? When did this happen? In order for BJ to get from where she was at the end of the previous scene to where she is now, a lot of stuff would need to be happening off-camera.

First she had to trick the Pecos into running off to Flank, and while the author never clarifies it one way or the other, I would assume she employed Dusty for this. Next, she would have had to go traipsing across the radscorpion-infested desert, go back to the school, sneak her way past all the robot guards again, find her friends inside, and change back into her barding. Then, all four of them would have to sneak past the robot guards yet again, go traipsing back across the radscorpion-infested desert, and then sneak up to the railroad tracks, which is where they are when the scene opens.

Granted, most of this is fairly rote and it makes sense for the author to skip over it. However, it's also a lot of action; Somber really ought to have at least included a brief summary explaining how they made it from point A to point B.

Anyway, whatever. She beats up the guard but doesn't kill him. Through their conversation, we learn that the mines have actually been taken over by someone called Gorgon, who has apparently made slaves of the slavers. Everyone involved in their operation, including the guard and his bedmare, have to wear bomb-collars that kerplode if they stray too far from the compound. He also has the power to turn anyone he looks at to stone; hence the name "Gorgon." Oh, also: the slavers appear to have some connection to Sanguine, the boss behind Deus and his crew.

>“So. Strong. Bulletproof. Turns ponies into stone. Anything else?”
>“He can fly?” the mare offered. I facehoofed. I just had to ask, didn’t I?
Every time a fanfiction writer uses the word "facehoof" in a story, a cute little pony is savagely beaten, raped and murdered. Only you can prevent these senseless tragedies from occurring.

Anyway, BJ goes back downstairs to where P-21 is trying in vain to pick a lock. BJ uses a key she found on the guard she just beat up to make the job a little easier. Inside the closet is a huge cache of weapons, to which they naturally help themselves.

>There were energy cartridges for Glory and a strange pointy pistol-like object that smelled of ozone, so I guessed it was an energy weapon. I tossed it to her as well, and she gave a little squee as she immediately swapped out one beam pistol for the new weapon.
Every time a fanfiction writer uses the word "squee" in a story, an adorable little doe-eyed filly is brained over the head with a rock on her way to school, abducted, and passed around by Haitian migrants. Only you can prevent these senseless tragedies from occurring.

Anyway, if anyone is interested, the gun she just found is a disintegration pistol. So they have that now. BJ asks if any of them have ever heard of this Gorgon character, but none of them have. She then explains that he is a horrifying monster with big, nasty, pointy teeth, who can turn you to stone with a look. She suggests being prepared, because presumably they are about to fight this thing.

>I looked at P-21. He nodded. “Zappy zappy disintegration fun from above?” Glory, still embarrassed, gave a nod.
Every time a fanfiction writer, or anyone at all, uses the phrase "zappy zappy disintegration fun from above" in any context, your waifu is splashed in the face with acid, stabbed in the eyes with fondue forks, skinned alive, salted, slow-roasted over an open pit barbecue, splashed in the face with acid again, and then forced to watch all of the Haber episodes in one sitting, with no snack or bathroom breaks. Only you can prevent these senseless tragedies from occurring.

Anyway, they strap up, and head down into the mine proper. On the way, they pass a bunch of unsettlingly realistic-looking pony "statues." Eventually, they come to another guard station. They murder all of the guards and continue onward until they reach a gigantic pit mine, where a bunch of zebra and pony slaves are digging up gems and whatever. There is a big dragon skeleton in the center of the room.

From his description, Gorgon appears to be a giant cockatrice. He is sitting on a pile of bones and gems and stuff, watching his minions toil, when he suddenly notices the interlopers and attacks them. They all scatter and begin firing while trying not to look directly at him.

For some reason, Gorgon is also bulletproof and explosion-proof. They keep shooting him and throwing bombs at him, but nothing seems to kill him. Morning Glory gets turned to stone at one point. Then, Lancer and P-21 are turned to stone as well. Things are looking pretty grim for our intrepid heroes. Well, actually, we're down to just one hero now.

BJ spends several schizophrenic paragraphs pondering what she should do. Ultimately, she concludes that since being reckless and stupid got her into this mess, then continuing to be just as reckless and stupid should get her out of it. She shoots out all the lights in the room, there's another scuffle, and then yada yada yada, she pushes him into a rock crusher and that's the end of him. Fortunately, all the ponies he had turned to stone turn back to normal after he's dead, including BJ's friends.

>>376772

So now, all that's left to do is to rescue the slaves. Since the slavers were themselves turned into slaves by Gorgon, they appear to have had quite enough of slavery for the time being, and don't put up any resistance. BJ & Co. leads the entire group back out of the mine, where they are met by a bunch of the slaver guards, whose views on slavery don't appear to have changed. There's a big fight. Then, the Pecos show up out of absolutely fucking nowhere, and for some reason or other decide to attack the slaver guards. Yada yada yada, the slavers are now dead, and the day is won.

Believe it or not, things get even stranger from here. There were several zebras among the slaves, and for some reason they are all deaf. BJ is attempting to communicate with them, when suddenly Lancer appears and shoots her in the back. He then proceeds to gun down the other zebras, accusing them of "treason against the fallen Caesar." Apparently, loyalty to salad is a pretty big deal in the zebra kingdom.

Anywho, after this bizarre spectacle, Lancer looks BJ square in the eye, informs her that "the war is never over," and then he puts on his wacky invisibility cloak and disappears. The chapter ends here. Alrighty then.

>Footnote: Level Up.

>New Perk: Tough Hide (level 1) - The brutal experiences of the Equestrian Wasteland have toughened you. You gain +3 Damage Threshold for each level of this perk you take.

Nine chapters complete... That's 113,509 words total out of 1,780,334 words.

113,509 is 6.37571% of 1,780,334.

Let's start around the 113,509 mark.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain 118 804
Thus Spake Zarathustra – A Book for All and None by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche 115 632
The Confessions of St. Augustine by Bishop of Hippo Saint Augustine 114 915
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle 107 605
Gulliver’s Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World by Jonathan Swift 107 293
Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery 106 294
Grimms’ Fairy Tales by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm 104 228
A Journal of the Plague Year by Daniel Defoe 98 034
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne 86 897
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett 83 705
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde 82 222
Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley 78 100
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling 77 423
Meditations by Emperor of Rome Marcus Aurelius 75 055
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain 74 772
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson 72 036
Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche 66 835
The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells 63 194
The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle 62 297
The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana by Vatsyayana 62 155

20 books, and they're all less than 113,509 long except for the top three. Add it all together and you have 1,757,496. Still less than 1,780,334.

What if we double what we've read so far?

113,509x2=227018

The Republic by Plato 220 117
Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes 216 349
Moby Dick; Or, The Whale by Herman Melville 215 839
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky 208 016
The Iliad by Homer 193 536

1,053,857 words. Let's add two more.
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky 354 098
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra 430 269

1,838,224 total. A bit more than 1,780,334, but if you add the length of And Then There Were None, a mystery novel by Agatha Christie (54,324) to Project Horizons it's less again.

Alternatively...

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo 568 751
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy 567 246
The Lord of the Rings, the novel written by J. R. R. Tolkien 564 187
Metamorphosis by Franz "Man in the streets, cockroach in the sheets" Kafka 25 189

1,725,373 words. Still less than 1,780,334.

According to a google search "The average reader can read 238 words per minute (WPM) while reading silently. When reading aloud, the average reader can read 183 words per minute (WPM). Previously, it had been thought that the average adult reads at a rate of 300 words per minute."

Reading at 230 words per minute doesn't take into account the time spent writing commentary while also reading the fic, and most people write at 40 words per minute, but instead of calculating the amount of commentary vs fic read and how long it takes to write, let's just assume the process of reading and commenting on this story means it is read at 100 words per minute.

1,135.1 minutes out of 17,803.3 minutes complete.

Or 18 hours out of 296.72 hours.

>>376935
Do one hour of this a day and this will last 81% of a year. Almost a whole year. Miss a day here and there and it can last a year, maybe more.

The main story of Fallout New Vegas is 27 hours long assuming you aren't skipping dialogue or using speedrun tricks. Main story and side stories? 59 Hours. Completionist time? 132 Hours.

It's a competently written story, so after the prologue in Goodsprings that serves as a microcosm of the world and foreshadowing for the finale and tutorial for the gameplay, and tells you your greater goal (Recover the Platinum Chip Benny stole from you) and next objective (Learn why it was so important) you quickly experience NCR incompetence and imperialism at Primm(their chain gang escaped and caused a problem the NCR will only help with if they can take over the town) and Nipton's fall. You can get there in under an hour. You didn't need to play more than 6% of Fallout New Vegas to learn enough about the game to understand all the major factions and what their deal is, and from there getting to Vegas where you get vengeance and learn of the Chip's true importance is quick enough to keep the momentum up. Though you need to get 2000 caps or a favor from the Kings (forged passport) or do a high Science skill trick (hack the bots) to get past the guards at New Vegas's door, most already had more than enough by the time they got there.

Crapflap is on a mission to make sure the baddies don't get the Platinum Chip she started with, and figure out what it does and decide what to do with it, but to say why this is retarded and why what it does is retarded and how retarded every faction is being over this in the name of letting the author waste time "level grinding" in a novel would spoil 1.7 million words of suffering.

The author stole this and inverted it without understanding why it worked. The villain didn't steal a MacGuffin from the hero, the hero stole the MacGuffin from the villain. A rich powerful heavily armed faction, not in a semi-civilized powderkeg where all factions are gearing up for a major war, but in a child's toybox full of random crap. A rich powerful heavily armed faction with nothing better to do and nothing it wants more than what Assslap has. Flapjack can be a bounty hunter. The villains didn't think to make going there and level grinding impossible by offering a colossal bounty on her dead or alive. The radio can praise Rattrap and tell the whole continent exactly where she was and where she is. There is no titanic army of murderhobos and slavers surrounding her and swarming after her forcing her to stay on the run, making every second a tense life and death decision, maybe even forcing her into an uneasy partnership with The Enclave giving the author a chance to humanize them and what they would do with [REDACTED]. We can't start this story off with a bang, that would be unfamiliar with our goomer target audience who expect to go to a hub city and do menial chores for meager pay while numbers go up and villains patiently wait for the hero to be ready for the plot. We have to show off the "original" content: killing bandits to level up and Fluttershy's Foal Torture Dungeon. The goomer doesn't want a tense experience, the goomer doesn't want certain things to be impossible to complete because of story reasons, the goomer wants to grind easy content forever to feel the pleasure of easy victories. Edgy grim darkness is an aesthetic the goomer author cannot allow to get in the way of a story that amounts to public masturbation.

I hope everyone here has a wonderful time reading and reviewing all one point seven million words of this story.

It's a microcosm of the brony fandom, really.

>>376935
>The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
Technically this is a collection of short stories, not a novel.

>Grimms’ Fairy Tales by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm
This is also a collection of short tales.

These two aren't really fit for comparison against a single work like PH in terms of word count. If you tallied up the entire word count of Hemingway's short stories it would probably look pretty hefty as well, but most of his stories individually are only a couple of pages long. Also, most of the books on your list are in the ~100,000 range, which is pretty standard length for a novel.

>Thus Spake Zarathustra
>Beyond Good and Evil
>Meditations
>Kama Sutra
>The Republic
>Leviathan
These are philosophical and/or religious texts, not novels, and are also not really fit for comparison technically Zarathustra is written as a story and could arguably be considered a novel, but it's usually classified as philosophy, not fiction.

Nice job using google, though. There are some good books on this list. You should try actually reading a few, if you ever decide to take a break from gargling autismo YouTube content and screaming your opinions about games into the void.

>The main story of Fallout New Vegas is 27 hours long assuming you aren't skipping dialogue or using speedrun tricks. Main story and side stories? 59 Hours. Completionist time? 132 Hours.
This is gameplay, not reading time. Not sure what you're trying to prove here.

>The author stole this and inverted it without understanding why it worked.
He stole what and inverted what without understanding why what worked? As usual, you make no effort to clarify what the fuck you're talking about.

>I hope everyone here has a wonderful time reading and reviewing all one point seven million words of this story.
I'm having fun so far, thank you for asking. I usually enjoy doing these, though I'll admit that this one is probably going to take awhile, and I may not actually end up finishing.

>It's a microcosm of the brony fandom, really.
Your point being?

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to palm-mash out another big glob of your unfiltered thoughts, Nigel. I'm sure everyone was anxious to read them.

>>376773

Chapter 10: Ante Up

>Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
>By Somber
>Chapter 10: Ante Up

Today's Fortune Cookie(s):
>“Oh yeah. You think you can do better, cowgirl?”
>“I know I can... Oh for Pete’s sake!”
These seem to be making less and less sense the further we go.

Anyway, the chapter opens with the usual monologue from Blackjack. She is mostly just lamenting the senseless death of the zebras, her own powerlessness in the face of the horrors of the wasteland, and so forth and so on.

I'll once again note that Somber does a reasonably good job of building on kkat's basic formula. While this book doesn't really break any new ground, it does occasionally throw us a curveball and subvert reader expectations. For instance, I was more or less expecting Lancer would become the party's token zebra from here on out, filling a similar role as what's-her-name from the first story. However, his sudden execution of the zebra survivors was a twist I didn't actually see coming, even though if you look back it was mildly foreshadowed (the text mentioned zebras who fought on the Equestrian side of the war). As ever, the lore is a bit muddled and hard to follow at times, for instance I'm not really sure how Lancer connected these enslaved zebras to a group of perceived traitors from 200 years ago, but we can put a pin in that for now. Point is, while this book doesn't really stray too far from the territory already covered by its predecessor, it does do a reasonably good job of expanding and improving on the original formula.

Anywho, there's a page break, and when BJ awakens she is on some kind of operating table, having surgery apparently. There is an implication that she comes close to flatlining, however we only get BJ's heavily-drugged and near-death point of view, so it's hard to tell what is happening exactly.

After a second page break, we rejoin BJ post-surgery and in recovery. P-21 and Dusty Trails are arguing about what to do next. P-21 wants to chase down Lancer for what he did to Blackjack but not the zebras, apparently. Dusty argues that it's a waste of time, and they have more important things to worry about. Apparently Sidewinder, who is the leader of the Pecos, is upset about the mass defection that Dusty somehow engineered, and is on his way with a posse behind him, fixing to lie and/or lay down the law. If they are all still here when he arrives, he will likely take over the mine and collect the bounty on Blackjack.

>“Please keep your voices down. Blackjack needs to sleep. She’s lost a lot of blood,” Glory said in concern.
Well, it's always in the last place you look.

Anyway, the basic thrust of the situation is that they need to amscray, but BJ is in no condition to move yet. For the next several sections, BJ alternates between dream sequences and moments of lucidity. In one of the lucid periods, we learn that Sanguine was apparently supervising the mining operation, or something. Whoever was running it originally, the leader of the slaver band I guess, had some kind of arrangement where he was to deliver gems to whoever Sanguine is ultimately working for (it seems that Sanguine himself is just a go-between of some kind). However, the slaver-boss was ripping off Sanguine or skimming off the top or something, so Sanguine sent Gorgon to whip the operation into shape.

After this, P-21 and BJ argue back and forth for several tedious paragraphs over who deserves the most blame for getting all those zebras killed. Then, she goes unconscious again.

>I couldn’t help but smile as he walked away. Leg brace or not, P-21 sure had a cute ass.
>“What do you want?” P-21 asked, with that skeptical smile.
>“You.”
BJ seems to be developing an attraction to P-21. Not sure how significant this will end up being, but it's probably worth noting.

After another brief dream sequence, BJ wakes up again and has a short conversation with Glory. They discuss her old teacher, Dr. Morningstar, and how she developed her healing skills. It seems she used to be one of his star pupils, until they had a falling out over her decision to join the Volunteer Corps. Apparently there were many such cases. Every now and then a pegasus will develop a rebellious spirit and leave the Enclave, at which point they are barred from returning.

>Once you’re a Dashite, you are banned from the Enclave forever. Worse is the shame you bring to your family. Parents can lose positions. Siblings can become pariahs. It’s not something that should be done lightly.
This actually seems to contradict some of kkat's canon. As I remember it, Calamity was a Dashite, but both his brother and father were high-ranking fleet commanders or something. To my recollection, his being branded a Dashite didn't lead to them being disgraced or demoted; it just meant that Calamity himself was.

>“Sekashi and her filly Majina both survived. They’re injured, and it was touch-and-go a bit with Majina, but they’ll survive.” Glory smiled at me. “Lancer was a murdering monster, but even he couldn’t make thirteen fatal shots in ten seconds flat.”
As an aside, it looks like a couple of zebras managed to survive Lancer's massacre. One of them has a name that rhymes with vagina.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FlRFBTeYKY

At this point, BJ asks if she can delve back into Big Macintosh's memory orb. Glory fetches it for her, and that's the end of the scene.

>>376935
>>376936
Real shit, have you ever been tested for Adhd?

>>376940

However, it would seem she grabbed the wrong orb by mistake. Instead of Big Mac courting his sweetie under a calm canopy of stars, BJ suddenly finds herself in the middle of an aerial dogfight between a couple of pegasi and some griffons. However, Big Macintosh is present as it turns out. After downing some beakies, they descend to the ground and join some earth ponies at a fortification, where they are holding off an advancing army of zebras. Amusingly enough, Twist makes a brief cameo:

>Twissssst! Reload!” he yelled.
>A red-maned mare with a buzz cut ducked down and ran to the gun’s spent ammo feed box with a fresh box in her mouth. She kicked the almost-empty container aside and dropped the new one in its place.

Anyway, it's a little hard to follow what's going on, but the basic thrust of it is that a small number of ponies are attempting to hold off a large zebra force, and are mostly succeeding. Big Macintosh does a pretty convincing Rambo impersonation.

>These were heroes I could not have imagined. This was valor and courage I could never hope to match. I was so in awe of what I glimpsed that I forgot my fear of heights and the sky. Even my host and Jetstream amazed me. Remembering it was not actually me flying, I marveled at their skill and grace and peril. Jetstream was faster, my host stronger. I had more of those griffins try and attack, only to have Jetstream pick them off while their attentions were on me.
My only real criticism here is that this seems like an out of character reaction for Blackjack. For most of the story she's done nothing but bitch and moan about the horrors of the Wasteland and all the death she's witnessed; however, here she's watching carnage on a much grander scale than anything she's yet seen, and all she can do is remark on how badass everyone is. Maybe seeing it play out secondhand through someone else's eyes lessens the tragedy somehow? I'm not sure. Either way, it's a bit strange that she was rending her clothing over the zebras that Lancer killed just moments ago, and then a short time later she's cheering on these orb-ponies as they gun down zebras by the hundreds.

Anyway, this goes on for quite awhile. Rainbow Dash and some other pegasi show up, there's a big fight involving some dragons, and then eventually the pegasus BJ is inhabiting gets struck on the head or shot or something, and the memory ends.

When she wakes up, Dusty Trails is there. She informs her that, even though she is not fully recovered yet, Sidewinder and his merry band of hooligans have almost reached the mine, and she'll need to be moving on unless she wants to be caught by bounty hunters. She recommends following a long, circuitous route to Manehattan that will take about a month. I'm not sure why BJ is going to Manehattan all of a sudden, but we'll put a pin in that for now. In any case, BJ isn't having it; she insists on taking the faster underground route, through the ghoul-infested tunnels that were (I think) mentioned earlier.

Page break. BJ is getting her plans finalized I guess, and is waiting for her friends to return so they can set out. She hears a pony coming up the stairs, and is relieved to see it is only Tumbleweed. However, Tumbleweed seems to be in rather a bad way:

>Tears ran down her cheeks as she slumped, and the most horrible laughing, sobbing noise rose in her throat. There was blood smeared across her lips… fresh and red. Bite marks covered her legs. Hooves shook as she stared at me with eyes that were already yellowing.
>“Help… me…” she begged, giggled, sobbed... all at once.
I assume the fight has started and Tumbleweed was injured somehow.

>“Turkey… I like turkeys... tastes good…” she whimpered, and I could only lay there in horror as I saw her raise her leg and suddenly spasm, biting down hard. As fresh blood spilled, I watched as she started to swallow. “Tastes… good… tastes so good…” she said a moment later. She gave one last sob, choking in the back of her throat. “Help me…” she whimpered before resuming giggling, long and slow, but building.
Nope, looks like she's just hungry. Seriously though, I have no idea wtf is going on at this point.

>Rolling onto my back hurt like mad, but it was the only thing that let me push her away as she tried to turn me into lunch. Unlike other raiders, she wasn’t half-starved and raw. She was quite a healthy pony, and she was trying her hardest to chomp on my belly. I pushed her snapping, giggling, biting maw aside with my telekinesis and forelegs, but it was so hard. Every motion made it feel like a drill was working in my spine. And if it was true that she had a disease… rabid raider Blackjack! No thank you!
I guess Tumbleweed caught that brain thing? The disease that turns ponies into raiders? That's my best guess.

Anyway, BJ looks around for something she can brain her with, but there's nothing useful at hand. Hoof. Whatever. So, she does what any sensible pony would do in that situation: concentrates her telekinesis into a single point until it becomes a physical force, and then drives it like a bolt into Tumbleweed's eyeball. This seems like the kind of thing that ought not to work, so naturally it does. She does it again, driving the telekinesis-bolt into her skull this time, and Tumbleweed goes down. Aaand...that's the end of that, I guess.

There's another page break. We rejoin BJ a short time later. It seems they have rigged up some kind of mining cart or something so they can wheel her through the zombie-infested tunnels without her needing to walk. However, she doesn't want all the liberated slaves and whatever to see her as a cripple for some reason. So, she dopes herself up with Buck, which I guess is some kind of cocaine-like substance, and Med-X, which I guess is some kind of morphine-like substance, and then walks outside, where a large crowd of ponies is gathered.

>>376945

The crowd cheers Blackjack for being stunning and brave, then she climbs on board the mining cart.

>“Thanks. And I’m glad you were able to get the collars off them safely.”
>“I’m glad I didn’t have any accidents while doing it,” he answered with a strangely smug smile. “And I’m glad they won’t be going to waste.”
This is from a conversation between BJ and P-21. The slaves were all wearing explosive collars as a way to keep them in line, but P-21 managed to get them off (somehow) while BJ was unconscious.

We soon learn what he has in mind for the collars:

>I looked back at him in worry. “What… you’re going to use them in the mine?” I rubbed my twitching mane. There was something being set up on the one of the flatbed train cars. The crowd began to back away.
>“Better,” he said as the movement of the crowd revealed the fat pony. His forelegs were swollen to the size of melons and he’d been beaten till he looked like he was part bloatsprite. But what really chilled my blood, despite the heat, was the sight of him wearing dozens and dozens of explosive slave collars. “For justice.”
I've forgotten who the fat pony is; I'm assuming he was the boss of the slavers. More to the point, though, is that this is just sadistic overkill.

Blackjack seems to agree:

>“This isn’t fucking justice!” I hissed as I stared at him, unable to touch that button, unable to look away. “It’s murder.”

P-21, meanwhile, is shocked at her reaction:

>P-21 would have killed me right then if he could. Cold rage burned in his eyes as he leaned towards me. “Do you know what fucking justice is? It’s giving to others as is given to you.” Be kind. “It’s killing the fucker to make sure that she never does it again.” Be kind. “It’s making sure every bastard who even thinks of copying her crime hesitates because they know they might face the same punishment.” Be kind. “It’s what’s fair!”

One of the most irritating aspects of kkat's book was its bizarre take on morality, and unfortunately Somber seems to have taken up the same theme. While I will at least give Blackjack some credit for being far more introspective about her own actions than Littlepip ever was, the way she (and by extension the author) thinks about problems like this still aggravates me. Characters in this world are either recoiling in horror at the very idea of killing, or are sadistically reveling in acts of righteous slaughter. Usually they are flipping schizophrenically back and forth between the two, sometimes within the space of a single scene.

In my view P-21 and Blackjack both miss the point here. P-21's take is that justice means punishing wrongdoers in the most brutal way possible. This has more to do with sadism than justice. However:

>These ponies needed justice. Was this it? Killing him wouldn’t bring anypony he had killed back. Would it even bring peace? Or would somepony else decide that it wasn’t enough and drag one of the former guards up there next?
BJ's take is equally unrealistic and silly. She's basically chosen to go with the corny old "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, let's all just try to get along" schtick.

Justice really isn't that complex of an idea. In any given society, regardless of how it's organized or what its values are, there are going to be certain behaviors that are considered harmful and unacceptable. People who violate the social compact and engage in these behaviors are punished. The punishment puts a stop to the bad behavior, recompenses the victim's suffering, and also serves as a deterrent to anyone who might be considering engaging in similar behavior. That's pretty much all there is to it.

One interesting thing to note here is that, according to the albeit nonsensical and poorly thought out rules of this setting, it's actually debatable whether or not this guy even did anything wrong to begin with. He had a license to practice slavery after all, which means that his operation was basically legitimate according to the Wasteland's wacky rules. However, BJ has taken the stance that his actions are wrong, so whatever; if he did a bad thing, then killing him would be justice. If that's what she honestly believes, then it's hypocritical for her to be having a crisis of conscience here. By the same logic, if the idea of killing this guy bothers her this much, then she ought to have just left him alone and not interfered.

Meanwhile, P-21's attitude is just edgelord-tier silliness. The slaver boss is a bad guy who was doing bad things, moreover he's a vanquished enemy that could potentially cause more harm if permitted to go free. Killing him makes sense, both from a practical and a moral standpoint, and as the victors of the battle BJ & Co. have every right to do it. However, strapping eighty bomb collars to this fat faggot's neck and then detonating them all at once is, again, just sadistic overkill.

If they've determined he needs to die, then they should just take him out back, put a bullet in his head and be done with it. If they need to make a public spectacle out of it so that the slaves can feel like proper justice was done, then fine: slap together a gallows and hang him, or put him in front of a firing squad or something. Subjecting him to this elaborate, violent method of execution is just pointlessly cruel. It's even more pointless when you consider that there is supposed to be an army of Pecos and bounty hunters charging towards the mine, and these guys are wasting time torturing this poor idiot instead of preparing defenses.

However, nothing is as pointless and silly as what BJ ultimately ends up doing. She makes a huge speech about how murder is icky and they should all strive to "do better." Then, she refuses to blow the guy up, opting instead to just walk away and let someone else do it. The end result is exactly the same as if she'd pushed the button herself, only this way she gets to claim some imaginary moral high ground.

*sigh*

Whatever.

>>376972

Anyway, this is basically the end of the chapter. There's a page break, followed by some more tedious monologuing from Blackjack about how she's depressed and hates the Wasteland, because yada yada death and yada yada suffering and so forth and et cetera. To cheer her up, one of the zebra survivors tells her a parable about a zebra who fucked up a lot but also managed to inadvertently do some good.

This segues into a discussion of Lancer and why he did what he did. We don't really learn anything new; the basic gist of it is that there is a small faction of zebras still dedicated to the long-dead zebra king who started the war 200 years ago. They go around fighting against...actually, I'm not sure who they're fighting against, or if they even fight anyone at all. It sounds like they mostly just go around murdering zebras who refuse to join their pointless non-existent cause. More goofy FoE logic I guess.

Anywho, this zebra explains that the reason Lancer killed off the rest of her tribe was not because they refused to join the non-existent war effort, but because they laughed at how silly he was for having joined up with the non-existent war effort. Now I will grant that, if an FoE character's behavior is so silly that even the other FoE characters are calling it silly, that's some pretty damn silly behavior. So Lancer probably deserved to be laughed at. Still, though, this zebra seems awfully sanguine about all of this, considering that eleven of her fellow zebras are dead simply because they laughed at Lancer's retarded faction, when they could have just as easily not laughed and been spared. There was literally nothing else on the line:

>“So you were zebras who refused to fight? He killed you for that?”
>“Oh no no no. There are many tribes that refuse to fight. So long as they bow and quiver, they are spared. My tribe’s crime was infinitely worse,” she said with a solemn expression as she glanced back at us. “Our crime was that we laughed at their foolishness. I suppose it was too much to hope that they would laugh as well. A fearsome fool is a fool still, and it is hard to fear something so funny.”
Well, I suppose it makes about as much sense as anything else that's happened lately.

Anywho, the zebra advises that Blackjack should laugh at Lancer the next time she sees him, because apparently in this setting, being able to stand on imaginary moral high ground matters a lot more than whether or not you get yourself pointlessly killed. Righty-o.

There's a bit more back-and-forth, and then the chapter comes to a close.

>Footnote: Level Up.

>Perk added: Intense Training - Your experiences travelling in the Wasteland have allowed you to add one to your intelligence.

>Quest perk added: Telekinetic Bullet spell- you may now attack enemies at close range with a bolt of telekinetic energy equivalent to a pistol.

Also:

>Author's Note:
>(Tons of thanks to Kkat for inspiring me and letting me play in her sandbox, and Hinds for making this as awesome as possible.)
The problem with playing in sandboxes is that they have a tendency to be full of cat turds.

>>376973

Chapter 11: Peace

>Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons
>By Somber
>Chapter 11: Peace

Today's fortune cookie:
>“Sweet Celestia, she’s drunk!”

As the chapter opens, Blackjack suddenly awakens and finds herself on a strange mattress next to a strange unicorn. She panics and almost shoots the guy, but then realizes that he isn't hostile. The unicorn's name is Priest, and he informs her that she is in a place called Chapel.

>I still had my PipBuck, so I entered S.A.T.S. and queued three telekinetic bullets at the black unicorn.
Apparently this "telekinetic bullet" thing is a new power she will be using regularly. It was also listed as a "quest perk" at the end of the last chapter, so I guess those things are meant to be taken literally. I'll say again that it seems like the kind of thing that ought not to be plausible, but at the same time, it's a far less egregious abuse of physics than all of the bullshit that Littlepip got away with in the original story, so I'm inclined to let it slide for now. Small improvements that make a difference.

Anyway, while it's perfectly acceptable to time-skip a little between chapters to gloss over mundane events like travel, it feels like the author might have once again skipped a little too much. I'm almost as confused as Blackjack as to where the fuck she is and how the fuck she got there. Last time we saw her, she was on a mine cart being wheeled into a network of underground tunnels populated by feral ghouls. I guess we'll put a pin in that for now.

In any event, Chapel is a small village that appears to be populated almost entirely by foals. That a guy named "Priest" is the only apparent adult in the area does not augur well, but we'll put a pin in that for now too. Blackjack notes a Crusader flag flying nearby, so presumably this is their base of operations. It seems that BJ was found unconscious somewhere by a group of Crusaders, and was brought back here to rest. Apparently the Crusader patch she sewed onto her barding marked her as being worthy of rescue. Her friends were not there when she was found. Also, the Crusaders weren't able to carry all of her equipment, so she will need to go back and retrieve it at some point. Presumably this includes most of her weapons.

Anyway, BJ now laments the possible loss of her friends, though we still don't know for sure if anything actually happened to them or not. Priest goes on to explain that when she was found unconscious, there was also a "trapped" memory orb found nearby. What appears to have happened is that BJ tried to access the orb, was repelled by the protections that were placed on it, and was knocked unconscious. The idea behind the trapped orbs is explained thusly:

>When the war was at its peak, memories could no longer be left accessible to any unicorn that happened across them. Zebras had unicorn sympathizers. The Ministry of Morale, together with the Ministry of Peace, eventually devised methods of extracting and sealing dangerous or sensitive memories away. The process was so difficult that it was used only for the most critical memories, but with constant zebra infiltration and sabotage, the technique of locking memories became vital here. Too many secrets in this city.” He nudged the orb with a hoof as he looked down at it. “It has a password: some thought, or idea, or name you need to be thinking of.”
>“And if you don’t have the password?” I asked, looking at the orb like it was a bomb.
>He shook his head and sighed. “Most of the time, nothing. But if you try to force contact, it can render you unconscious. Place you in an endless nightmare. Even kill you.”
Kind of an interesting addition to the lore, actually.

Anywho, the basic thrust of it is that BJ found this orb at some point and tried to view it, and was then either knocked out or trapped in some kind of suspended animation. The Crusaders brought her back here, and Priest separated her from the cursed orb. He also healed all of the injuries that had her incapacitated at the end of the previous chapter, so conveniently she is no longer hampered by any of that.

We also learn about a new concept that appears specific to the Hoofington area as far as I can tell, this entire story is set in or near the vicinity of Hoofington. A special magic called Enervation permeates the area; it's some kind of residue left over from all the weird shit being done in this city during the war. Enervation will slowly drain the life force from ponies, and can also render healing potions unusable. I don't think I put it in my summary, but in the previous chapter BJ mentioned that she had drank a few healing potions and noticed that they weren't having any effect. This seems to clear up that mystery: apparently, if a potion has been affected by Enervation it will change color, at which point it either no longer works or becomes harmful. This is also a rather interesting addition to the lore, and I will once again applaud Somber for attempting to place some reasonable limits and counterweights on this setting's ridiculously OP healing magic.

Anyway, the scene ends in a page break.

>“Why didn’t I have this a week ago?” I muttered as I lay on a mattress on the floor of the post office; in front of me was an open copy of ‘The Wasteland Survival Guide: Hoofington Edition’. Dangers of scavenging! What’s that beeping noise? Robots and you. The who’s who of the Hoof.
Presumably, this also solves the mystery of why the hallway keeps chirping.

>While I did want to track down P-21, Glory, and Sekashi, Priest had pointed out that my friends knew I was coming in this direction. Chapel being the only community near the rail line, it was a good bet that they’d come here if they could.
This is actually pretty reasonable. Though I'm still not clear on how they made it through the ghoul-infested tunnels, it seems that this place is at least located near the rail line they were traveling on at the end of the last chapter.

>>376981

>“Why didn’t I have this a week ago?” I muttered as I lay on a mattress on the floor of the post office; in front of me was an open copy of ‘The Wasteland Survival Guide: Hoofington Edition’.
>"Would you have taken the time to read it?” he asked with a chuckle.
This simple dialog exchange between Blackjack and Priest reads like a perfectly normal conversation, and there is nothing at all wrong with it....except that in the actual text, these two spoken lines have three massive paragraphs of meandering inner monologue from Blackjack between them. Protip: prose should be readable and dialogue should fit into the natural flow of the narrative. Don't have one character ask a question, then veer off the subject for multiple paragraphs, and then have the second character answer the question halfway down the page, after the reader has completely forgotten what was even asked. It's extremely bad form.

Anyway, Priest and Blackjack yak for a bit. It turns out that Priest is familiar with Deus, whose full name is actually Deus Ex Machina. We also learn that his name is "zebra-speak" for "God of the Machine", because apparently zebras speak Latin in this world to be fair, this makes about as much sense as ponies in the show speaking French, so I don't have a huge problem with it; however, my inner dweeb compels me to point out that Somber mistranslates the phrase slightly. Anyway, this segues into a short infodump about Reapers.

Apparently, Reapers take their name from a pre-war hoofball team that existed in Hoofington. They don't have any real connection to the original team from what I can tell, but they took the name because it sounded bad-ass, and they base themselves around the stadium that the team used to play in. The Reapers are probably closer to a semi-organized gang than a faction; something akin to maybe the Hell's Angels. In order to gain membership, you have to either defeat a Reaper in combat, or defeat enough hopefuls in a tryout tournament that you make an impression on the other Reapers. At this point you will be presented with your ceremonial Reaper sweatshirt and coffee mug, as well as a membership card that gets you 10% off at participating Plot Topic locations.

Anyway, at this point a foal shows up and informs Priest that some "pilgrims" have arrived, so he goes off to greet them, or murder them, or whatever the appropriate response to approaching pilgrims is the text seems to leave this deliberately vague, so I assume it will come up later. BJ, meanwhile, continues to read the Hoofington Survival Guide.

She learns the following:

>the guide was written by Ditzy Doo, who was also a mail carrier at the time of the war
Presumably this is due to her being a ghoul, but BJ does not have this information and puzzles over it for a bit.

>Canterlot is an icky place where death awaits you with big sharp pointy teeth
Mostly a recap of stuff we know from the first book, but again, for BJ this is new information. The main takeaway seems to be an implication that Celestia and Luna might still be alive, perhaps some Egyptians believe.

>The Core, the place that's been foreshadowed to hell and back, is an even ickier place, where death awaits you with even bigger, sharper and pointier teeth
Presumably, Blackjack will need to go in here at some point.

After she's done reading, she goes to a small store that the Crusaders apparently operate, and an admittedly cute scene ensues, in which she haggles with a filly for cereal and gets massively overcharged. The filly also tells her where she can find the stuff the Crusaders hid on her behalf, in exchange for fifty additional caps.

BJ sets off to retrieve her lost items. She climbs to the top of a nearby hill to get her bearings, and notes the location of the literal chapel from which the town of Chapel takes its name. She also has a look at the Core, the eventual importance of which is again hinted at. As an aside, I'd like to take a moment to once more toot Somber's horn: assuming The Core will in fact be an important area of the story at some point, this is the correct way to foreshadow it.

People who were here for my review of the original FoE story may remember me complaining about those gigantic radio towers that Homage used to spy on the Wasteland, which were also part of the Pegasus weather-control system as I recall. These things were supposed to be a huge, obtrusive, unmissable part of the skyline, yet the author completely neglected to mention them even existing for two thirds of the book. Then, we are suddenly informed that these enormous, impossible-to-miss, plot-critical radio towers have been in the background the entire time, the narrator just neglected to mention them because she was too busy juggling boxcars.

The way Somber handles The Core is much better. We don't know much about this area at the moment, but we have a general idea that it's an important area of the city, and that it's a dangerous place that factors heavily into the setting's history. The author doesn't spend a lot of time talking about it, but he brings it up every now and then to remind us that it exists, and to reinforce that it will be an important location later on. Every time we hear about it we learn a little more, but the mystery is preserved: we're curious, but we're going to have to wait. This technique is called foreshadowing, and it's a legit literary thing; you can totally look it up.

Anyway, she has herself a look-see at the surroundings, and then starts walking toward where the Crusaders said her stuff is. Along the way, her PipBuck suddenly highlights a new location - the Hoofington Natural History Museum. Since she is unarmed, alone, and has literally no goddamn reason to go in there, she naturally decides to go in there. The front door is heavily barred, but rather than allowing this to deter her, she walks around the building until she finds a service door.

>>373099
No, no, no!!! I had failed to keep up with your reviews for a few years while I was moving and was so excited to see you continue your reviews or see what writing projects you've done but first thing I see is Fallout Equestria Project Horizons. I don't want to be stuck in this hell for years. I hate Fallout Equestria and this cranks it up to 11.

I hope your writing has been going well and I miss you and that one guy who posted here a lot but man I hate this OP unicorn lesbian stuff so much.

>>377728
lol sorry, it's being done by request. If it's any consolation I'm actually moving through these chapters rather quickly, the project is just taking awhile because I keep getting distracted by other things and end up not posting for weeks at a time.

If you've been out of the game for awhile you can always get caught up on some of the other reviews that you missed; they're all archived at the top of the page.

Also, if you're curious about my projects or are just looking for something to read, you're welcome to pick through my fimfic if you like:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/520492/DavidFosterWalrus/stories

Anyway, to everyone else who has been anxiously biting their hooves waiting to find out what becomes of Blackjack and her merry band of deviants, I promise I will totally get back to this in a day or two, six months at the most.

>>377758
I've been gone for a long time. Is Nigel still here? Promised not to share his videos but he has a real talent for modding and designing stuff in games. I enjoyed his tangents here and your efforts to help him grow as a writer.

>>377774
Scroll up

>>377774
>Is Nigel still here?
He shows up once every few months or so. He usually ends up causing some type of drama, then gets extremely angry and swears he's leaving for good, then shows up a few months later and does the whole thing over again. To his credit these episodes seem fewer and further between these days. He also claims he has a gf now. I'm still not sure I believe him, but if it's true good for him I guess.

>your efforts to help him grow as a writer.
Unfortunately this proved to be something of a wasted effort.

Okay Im just gonna shoot from the hip.

What do I have to do to incentivize you (OP) to abandon this failed venture of delving into Blackjack's,... ahem,... story.

It has been said in good faith and trust "Wait until she gets the robot legs".
So, if I may offer an interlude of sorts, from the pony fandom "if"/when it gets tiresome.

Cupcakes oh yes

In contrast to "the previous" its the best example. Its why certain things work and dont work, depending on setup, structure, and story/presentation