This thread begins the next leg of the game, where GM (likely unsuccessfully) teaches of the wonders of rare-meat. Yes, I know Trump IRL likes his steak well-done, and to me that alone is evidence of controlled opposition. I still support the man, but dammit. Rare meat is the finest you can ever taste, satisfying immediate/basic hunger needs better than well meat, but also satisfying more primal urges and evolution. Remember, meat is only unsanitary if it is old or processed through a slaughter-house with poor quality control.
Enough about meat, lets get back to the game. Infernius is attempting to Leeroy Jenkins at the orcs, except that he has to climb a rope ladder to do so (cloven hooves = slower climbing). Tracy mulls about a very closed for business city that has cannons on the south-face, not yet realizing that unless she wants to go Nightmare (and thus ethereal but also glowing-in-the-dark) she's SOL.
868 replies and 55 files omitted.
>>23750>shapeshifting for human cockShit, they could be more dangerous than I realized
>>23754They do tho, in fact most of the 'good' dragons are semen demons
>>23755Ikr. They're all obsessed with getting LANCED.
>>23755Well shit. Cross "dragon hunting" off the list as well, lest I get hunted myself
>>23756By a strong and handsome knight, preferrably
But back to the point, Tracy makes her way towards that area.
>>23758It's more than just a stereotype: it's archetypal.
>>23759Yes. Ideally it fits with the natural survival hierarchy that emerges from chaos (there's that orderly chaos bit again), except not all in shiny armor are brave or strong, despite the iconography. All the 'nice' qualifiers are largely written in in the aftermath. ^_~
>>23760Bad, naughty Zoot
>>23761This is why dragon hunting should only be attempted mounted. So Tracy can have a strong swordsmen, both can have the movement, and Trumpaladin can be saved from almost certain temptation
>>23762If you're being hunted by knights, pretending to be a damsel is a damned fine survival strategy
>>23763Fair point. With dragons, consent is kinda like with cats.
>>23763She's not hunting any dragons right now, but if any Silver sluts try to make a move on him, she'll eat their hearts out.
>>23765GM makes a note: "... silver... sluts... exclamation exclamation"
It will never happen ever.
>>23762wait, wait
Before Trumpaladin returns to the bizarre, he prepares a cup of Chamomile Tea, and some bagels with Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
He goes to Slovenia, who I'm presuming is in the craft shop (if not, knock on her door. If she's out, just come by later). Deliver her the tea, and say
"A bright new day ahead I imagine. I'm guessing you'll want to get started on the full version. Here's some tea for you, and I prepared some bagels as well. I have no idea if you like bagels, but I know I enjoy them. If you need helpers, tell me so. I may be able to secure some for you"
>>23765>Eat their hearts out>That is not a metaphor>>23766*cough* Trumpaladin prefers ponies *cough*
>>23767"No, that was quite thoughtful. I,... I do like bagels," she says with a smile.
>>23768scribble scribble scribble "Poners"
Tracy continues to search the mountains, keeping a watchful eye out for any giant feathers or LANCED.com CDs as she traverses the area.
>>23769*rubs hand through mane behind ear in a very playful manner*
"You're welcome, but seriously. Do you need helpers for the larger beams? Because I at least think we can get those"
>>23771"No, I'm sure I can,... talk Adam's bitches into doing it," there's a cold yet casual air to how she said that.
Thez is vigorously murdering on an oversized mortar and pestle, grinding out some potatos.
"LAZY!!!"
>>23772Trumpaladin moves his face to the side in a combination of a suspicious look and a glare
"... alright then..."
He leaves the room. When he goes outside, he calls Fae
(CALL MOUNT)
>>23773Fae seems to be taking her time,... oh there she is. She swoops in and glances about for a moment before: "How can I assist you?"
Has Tracy found any clues?
>Wants to find potential egg before it freezes in absence of its mother
>>23774"Are you looking for something?
Fae, I need to go into town. But first, I want to know, what happened to the Tarasque-Football"
>>23774>Fae seems to be taking her time,… oh there she is. She swoops in and glances about for a moment beforeFuck it, that's just way too weird
"What is wrong Fae?"
>>23775And you're walking? C'mon now,....
>>23776"The game-ball is kill. It has decayed into an unusable substance, except perhaps to induce vomiting," she says dryly.
>>23779"Isn't it supposed to stay like that to keep the Tarasque from regenerating? What could have caused that?"
>The substance can induce vomiting"Definitely save and bottle the sludge when you get back, and give it to me. I can use that"
>>23775You normally love rolling spot checks. Why are you off your game today?
>>23780>save it"You're not serious,...."
"Yes, the Terrasque was supposed to remain dormant inside the magical bands of white lacing and
always fully-inflated oblong grandeur. For it to dissolve means that something happened that should not have," she says gravely.
[3d20 = 43]>>23779She's been walking the whole time.
Has she found anything? What do the mountains look like?
>>23781I was holding back...
Spot, Listen, Search for now.
>>23783She almost gets the idea that flying, climbing, or otherwise disadvantageously positioning herself, she might find a strategically elevated position from which big bird might just put a nest.
That's cuz you got a 20
>>23782"If you have potions to induce vomiting, that would be greatly appreciated. The child isn't going to be holding the weight of any world if he is poisoned by something his mother eats first"
"What kind of thing that happened that should not have?"
>>23784Tracy goes into stealth and continues to scan the area from hiding, while her faggot steps out for a bit.
>>23685>>23786Why the reeing though? She really is adorable
at least most of the time >>23787Why stealth? Who are you afraid of finding you? go grind search and spot checks until you find a clue
>>23785Fae is disgusted by the idea, but on Trump's insistence she relents. "Very well, I'll have the sludge bottled. As for what happened I cannot say. I only know that the sealing should have been indefinite. The ball was to have remained as long as the seal was intact, and even in that's failure the Terrasque would have returned in full. We'd have noticed."
>>23789This. She can fly ffs.
>>23790"Um... we don't have to bottle the sludge..."
Ride Fae to the Bazaar
>>23790>>23790Okay.
Fly up and keep constantly spamming Spot, Search, Listen, Scent, Track and anything else that seems useful.
Find the ladybird's perch.
>>23792Don't just say that, elaborate and do it!
[3d20 = 30]>>23793Look up towards the top of the mountain
Determine where the highest, awesomest place is, where a giant eagle would perch to look at the world.
Then go there.
Make way up the mountain. Flying and stopping occasionally to check around and conserve energy.
Spot, Search, and Track
>>23755>>23757adds bang dragon to bucket list.
[1d20 = 16]>>23794Well, that track roll was a wash, but no worries. A "Caw!" sound is the only warning Tracy has before immediately getting
[1d20 = 10]
[1d20 = 8]
....snatched up by another Roc, this one a bit larger and leaner.
Tracy is first initiative roll.
>>23796Hmmm. Rocks have mates. Like most birds actually. Who would have thought?
>>23795Thez... Ah, nevermind
Alright, Tracy is grasped in one of the Rocs claws. Her arms and legs are immobile, and her breathing is partially restricted. She is being carried.
>>23798Yes, but she can breathe.
>>23800>could turn Ethereal when necessarySee where it takes her, ready to phase the fuck out of there at the first sign of a beak.
Sometimes, I wish I played a Ranger.
I love this kind of stuff.
That last turn was fucking dumb, but I'll do it anyway.
[1d20 = 15]>>23802Tracy catches fire, which disturbs the Roc, as the flames are hostile and cause pain, but no damage. It rears and strokes at Tracy, who is now enveloped in a cloud of smoke.
>>23795Silver dragons are mostly only into hoo-mans.
Also, you have a waifu.
>>23804Fuck..
>>23803Well, the eggs and the younglings will be well taken care of, so you don't have to worry
\r
[2d8+6 = 17]
Tracy takes a grazing strike to the shoulder, but is otherwise fine.
At the earliest point, Tracy jumps ethereal. How long is she staying? Is it a "get out of bird-hands" jaunt, or is she staying 'under' for a moment?
>>23807Um... Can I arrive at the bazaar?
>>23807She get's out of immediate harms way, and observes from a "safe" distance.
What's the surrounding area look like? Is she above the mountains?
>>23808"Yes of course Habibi! Welcome back to the bazaar. I see you indeed purchased that fine suit of armor. I don't know if any new vendors have arrived, but please enjoy yourself."
>>23809Yeah, she's a few 100 feet up. So are you material then? Cuz the Roc is closing with a "SCREEEEEE"
>>23810Goddamn, I wish I could picture a friendly sandnigger merchant, but I can't get that
abominable Starlight recolor out of my head.
>>23811Nope. She's full ghost.
Just stand in mid air until it loses interest; then follow it stealthily.
>>23810"It's a rather fine suit, thank you"
To best exploit the bizarre, do you:
1. Look at items on display, or
2. Ask vendors?
>>23812>pic>>23813In that case, it ascends to a higher vantage point, clearly looking this way and that.
>>23815Thez, who apparently has followed him since the Roc has been properly seasoned and prepared and was placed in the forge (the only place big enough) but is otherwise well situated. "I suggest browsing."
>>23816>picMuch better.
Tracy follows the bird from a safe distance, while her faggot leaves for a moment.
>>23816Trumpaladin Browses the stalls! One by one, proceeding to a new one after each other has been exhausted, going down rows.
His search critereon are these:
Anything that is magical or enchanted and:
Some permutation of Jewelry, be it
Ring
Necklace
Bracelet
Brooch
or something that I omitted
He is not looking for normal Trumpaladin buffs, but anything that fits those critereon
>>23819Do I need to do like a dozen search rolls or something, one for each stall?
>>23818Okay that didn't take as long as I thought.
Tracy continues her bird-watching endeavor.
>>23818>>23816You sure it's not this pic?
>>23824Probably continuing its Tracy watching endeavor, which is what it was doing before
Also, how do you determine a character's DC save?
[12d20 = 128]
Rolls Search checks on Bazaar stalls!
>>23824Sorry, hadda eat. Its circling, still agitated and hostile.
>>23826Depends on the context
>>23827Oh no fucking way.
"Habibi, come this way! I have something to show you!" the bald man beckons.
>>23828FOLLOWS STRANGE ARAB MAN!
>>23828>contextExample?
Anyway, wait for the bird to calm down and take off, then follow wherever it's going.
[1d20 = 9]>>23830Thats not a DC, thats just waiting in ethereal until it ceases its survey pattern and flies back. That should only take a couple minutes.
>>23831so am i at the top of the ladder yet?
>>23831How do you determine a creature's DC to save against an attack?
>>23832... yes, yes you are. The sound of "Hibbity" and "Hooblah" is distinct and unmistake-able at this range.
>>23834cast comprehend languages and tongues.
>>23833That depends on context, like I said. If its a basic attack, you take the Base Atk bonus + str/buff/weapon/wtfbbq bonus +1d20 vs the opponenta AC (which its self is a bla/bla calculation).
If you're talking about attempting a sneak attack, its based on Rogue level + dex bonus/(+wtfe) vs. creatures relevant bonuses/etc. + 1d20
>>23835Yay! Okay, so the spell completes and suddenly the speaking makes more sense. Infernius has missed a whole lot of the build-up, but he makes out "so big that me whole family could eat, so me shoot."
>silence"Me miss."
Derisive laughter and jeering.
>>23836Continues following Arab man!
>>23836ok can i have a description of the area?
>>23838"Yes, I remembered something I'm sure you said sometime. I see this and I think "That man would like this."
It is magic candle."
>>23840With a look that spans the border between suspicion and curiosity, Trumpaladin says "tell me about this candle"
[1d20 = 3]>>23839Not unless you want to try sneaking up on top of the platform. There's to allow for either directional travel, but unless you're going up top you're limited to what you can see from under the "floor"
>>23841"Vedy simple, you light it, and it works." he smiles.
>>23843"And what does it do exactly?"
>>23842i burst through the floor.
>>23837... Where is the bird going?
>>23845>>23846>>23847>PAUSEI need about an hour break. sorry ._.`
>>23850Okay.
Take care of what you need to.
>>23850alright have a nice time.
>>23850ok now ill be back in about 30 minutes to an hour.