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Spin The Wheel of Punishment!
1522 1524
BLOGPOST INCOMING: I Moved into a rental place on the first of the month. Housemates are one elderly woman and one NEET. Said NEET has proven himself to be a filthy pig, a bald-faced liar, and a soulless borderline-personality-disorder sufferer. So, after I've gotten sick of trying to deal with him, I've got a sick, twisted idea:

Why not ask some of my best friends for advice?

Oh but I've got a real fucking doozy set up here. My landlord has an incredibly lazy home owning style, apathetic to how bad the house looks and how bad his reputation is among others. So, I've got an idea. Every week, I give him one job. Should he succeed, he's gone one step closer to achieving some normality. Should he fail, the elderly woman and I will do it for him, and shame and humiliate him in the process.

Now, I'll offer a few examples:
>Govind offered to take responsibility for mopping the common spaces for two weeks but has failed in doing so. What do? Give him eight hours to clean it, or we'll do it, take his rug, and throw it out.
>Every day he leaves half-eaten takeout in the kitchen, causing flies to flood in. What do? Give him one week to clean his fridge and take the trash out, and if he doesn't, throw everything out that belongs to him and mark the shelves as each housemate's for clear boundaries to be set, giving him the least space by a considerable margin.
>The TV is too loud, and he keeps leaving it on overnight as he sleeps! What do? Give him one week to either set up a way to watch TV quietly, or get one of our own and reclaim the entertainment center!
>That cat hasn't been bathed in years! What do? Set an appointment for him to wash the cat at PetCo on his day off. If he misses it, call the Humane Society on him and let them choose the poor old cat's fate for themselves. Given its age, most likely euthanize.

The more sadistic and borderline illegal, THE BETTER. Choosing based on either personal interest, or digits. If you wanna double your chances, roll a D100. I'll take questions and suggestions as well, because I want to either force him to get better, or make the house nicer at the cost of his own absolutely minimal pride.
1523 1524
cut power to his room. this works with most NEETS. no power = no porn.
for the love of god make him throw his trash away.
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I will firstly say your "sick twisted plan" sounds very reasonable. You are in my mind basically treating him as the child he is. And he needs to see that there is consequences for his neglect and inaction. Rather than a NEET I think for him the good old term Bum is a fitting one.

You could call social services and say you are worried for him and that you think he should get a court appointed guardian to look after him. Make him loose the control he has over his life because he can't take care of himself.

Also I like the idea of cutting the power. If he leaves the TV on loud after a certain time (you can be nice and set it to midnight). Just flick the power off and on and the TV will turn off.
>You could call social services and say you are worried for him and that you think he should get a court appointed guardian to look after him. Make him loose the control he has over his life because he can't take care of himself.
That's the final step in my plan, should he fail to do anything I try to push him to do. But duly motherfuckin' noted.

>>1521 >>1522
>cut the power
Actually I looked around for the breaker and couldn't figure out where it is. But we have a solar setup, with the adapter for the solar power hidden behind his gigantic, wobbly, dusty TV. I'll do some research into the power systems here, and if I can't shut off the living room breaker, I'll just unplug his TV each time he does it.

>make him throw his trash away
I've got an idea in mind for that already, not mentioned in the OP because I thought that I'd wait and then go into detail about the trash situation. This motherfucker asked me to forward a request for a quote to my mom's cleaning company, and let me take pictures of the room. I've also gotten a few illicit glances inside. I can't post the images at this moment, but I'll describe it to you all to give you all a sense of his absolute state:
>mountains of laundry, not sorted by material or color, gathering dust, even though we have both a laundry machine setup AND public-use detergents in there
>loads of convention-goer gear, from Comic Con bags to figurines
>the cat-scratching post is covered in paperwork and pills
>the closet is stuffed completely with garbage and some kind of piece of furniture he flipped upside down for some ungodly reason
>whenever he eats takeout, he either offloads the responsibility of taking it out to Carol by putting it in the kitchen trash bag, or sets the to-go bag uncovered beside said trash bag, attracting flies in the process due to leaving food in the open overnight
>recyclables cover one of the chairs in the living room, everything from Monster to Rockstar to Mountain Dew covering it and spilling out of his plastic bag; we have TWO recycling bins out back but he's too lazy to walk that short distance once in a while
>sometimes he puts regular trash in Carol's recycling bin, just stuffs it in there for her to sift through
>sometimes when he's got to take the trash bins out front, he stuffs the recycling bin with regular trash

I'll leave it at that for now because I'm going to work. He's off work, so I'm doing the floors idea before I run off.
First, and basic question is there other alternatives? Say fuck it, and move on. Really ask yourself if its worth Your Time, Effort, and Resources to fix him.
Seriously you have important shit to do he doesn't.

If it is, or you want practice changing people.

Operant conditioning, and psychological manipulation.
Starting off tame. This takes a while. Ask the NEET to do something for you. Make sure it's Easy, and Simple. Doesn't matter what.
>He does the thing. He'll be more willing to do another thing that is roughly as easy, and simple.
Doing that over time makes the NEET willing to do anything for you.

Additionally, you can add 'punishments' and or rewards when he fails to do so. It shouldn't be connected to you. Just a random 'act of god'.
Finding out what he likes, and dislikes, and what he absolutely hates will help with all endeavors going forward.

'Randomly' switching tv. As a minor punishment. It can switch channels, turn off, switch to an alternate source (if applicable), turned mute, ect.
Easy to do with a universal remote. Minimal cost put in.

Minor things that make his life harder. Reverting it when he doesn't fuck up. Salt shaker is filled with sugar, or flour, or an alternative substance. (Might have the reverse effect due to him eating takeout.)
Toilet paper is replaced by a prank roll.

If you know his email sign him up for all the junk mail.

Rumors are a bitch to deal with. Find a gossipy woman have either you, or the old woman start a minor complaint. They last for a very long time sometimes with unexpected results. Use at your own risk.

Cutting the power is nice, and handy.

If you own the wifi change the 'parental settings' have it turn off access at certain times ect.

Itching powder.

>>1523 Just read that after I typed this part up.
Him asking you for a quote means that your mom makes a decent check off of the sob. Make sure you have someone to validate, and verify the contract. Legal resources as a third party witness are available. That helps if the fucker tries to worm his way around paying for services. Also protects your mom's cleaning company from retaliation attacks.
Suggest to him that a cleaning service for your mom's cleaning company for a daily maintenance. Further money for her. The house is clean, and he has to work to pay the bills. (Not including him raising rent)

Social services.

This also applies to psychiatric care as well.

'Prank' videos are a resource on just about illegal, but it's kinda grey. They aren't funny, but as a means of strange, and unusual punishment they work just fine. (I don't recommend doing that)

If you have a contract read through it carefully, and see if he is failing in any of his responsibilities. See if you are entitled to compensation or further legal action. (Down side you may be out of a place to live.) If you have the money, or the connections you can lawyer up. (It EATS you Almost All Your Time)
1527 1531
>Is it worth your time or should you move on?
I tried to be libertarian and amiable with him, kindly request the common area be kept in good shape, etc., and he keeps redirecting and shirking responsibility. He made this house a shithole the whole block hates. So we are going to make this place Great Again™, and we will make this poo indaloo Pay For It™. If that means spending plush-waifu-and-rifle money on pet groomers, cleaning materials, and waste disposal, I will do it happily. Best case scenario, either he can be an adult or I could buy the place for my own purposes and kick the street shitting migrant tothe curb.

>conditioning and training
Actually I have another idea on how to do this, which is far more aggressive and high stakes: I will be a living example of self improvement. My blinds will be open 24/7, I will go to bed at a decent time, I will do everything he doesn't and share responsibility and common space between Carol and myself. If he doesn't involve himsel with thehouse enough, he won't have the same privileges as us. If he fails in his tasks I will punish him by treating him more like an oversized child.

>Mom's company
I sent her these pics, her first response was "holy shit, no, tell him we're booked, that room is so bad I don't even know where to start or what is or isn't trash." If anyone does the deep clean it'll be me, and I'm gonna demand at least a hundred bucks for it - more like 150.

>signing him up for junk, changing his input with a universal remote, replacing TP with prank rolls, gossipping to neighbors, playing with parental controls
YES YES YES. The TV and parental controls I could set up super easily too. I know where his router is and the password on it "Kyl0_R3n" because mister comic con is hip and with the trendy nerd crowd, hurr durr and he gave his number. Hell he even has his bills in public view and I can sniff through for his Cox info to fuck with or replace his internet.

Overall great ideas, all. Another challenge punishment related to the fridge: I'll not only empty both the fridge and freezer, but after cleaning, QUARANTINE HIM OFF and give him a masking-taped set of borders to obey! Of course Carol gets top shelf and I get ~half the total space, just to remind him of his place.
Good luck.
1528 1530
Holy shit. That poor carpet, and floor will be maimed till the end of time.
If the guy invested some of his money into so shelving 70% will be less shit. The trash is fucking everywhere.
That's not a hundred dollar job dude. It's more than that.
>Mom's Company response.
That is extremely reasonable.

I don't envy the task you set forth.

>If you buy the place.
That's not a bad idea do you know what taxes, and other expenses you have you pay?

>That router password is fucking awful.
Wew, boy the kinds of unholy shit you can do with that info. If you want to have some fun you can redirect the websites he frequents through a url shortener to reach it. (May or may not be illegal not sure. I don't know.)
You can see all outbound traffic, and inbound traffic.
You can throttle set data per device.
You can do some scary things man. Really fucking scary.
Ask around, about the woes of public wifi.

Yep. He doesn't have that much of a spine. Be careful if you do that he might buy more takeout, and leave that shit.

>Street shitting
Oh! That makes this much easier.
>Actually I have another idea on how to do this, which is far more aggressive and high stakes: I will be a living example of self improvement. My blinds will be open 24/7, I will go to bed at a decent time, I will do everything he doesn't and share responsibility and common space between Carol and myself.
Do it. Also let the neighbors know (You) are doing your damned best. (Don't have to have the blinds open all the time. It will Make People talk about (You) in a positive light.) If you buy the place they will be happy to recommend people to you. (Returning the favor.)

If you have the time or the energy, become a paragon of the community.

Quick Tip to being the ultimate manipulator for positive change.
Whenever (You) do something for someone, and they thank you. Say
>"I'm sure you would do the same for me."
Any kind of variant works.
It takes a while to get used to saying that honestly.
You are placing responsibility on them to honor the favor you did for them. It Sticks in Their Mind. It's Psychologically Powerful.

>Punishment Isn't change.
Make it so Positive actions are Easier, and Negative actions are Harder. Put Stuff on the counters so he can't leave his shitty leftovers on it.
Make it nice like potted plants, or flowers.

People tend to go for the path of least resistance. You make Doing Something Enough Of A Fucking Pain On They Will Stop. If You Make Something Easy Peasy They Won't Think Twice About It.
They Secret Phrase.
1529 1530
"I'm sure you would do the same for me."
"Aw shucks, I believe you would do the same thing for me (Use Their Name, dude, man, bro, mister, miss, ma'am or slang ect.)"

It works in multiple parts.
Step Zero (not needed)
Any kind of relevant starter.
Whew, golly, Ahhhh, Alright, ect.
Not needed, but it can spice up this REPETITIVE LINE YOU MAY BE USING ALL THE TIME.

Step One.
>I believe/sure.
(You) make them out to be the good guy. Gives them the nice fuzzy feeling.

Step Two
>You Would do the Same for Me.
Returning the Favor, and Still portraying them as the good guy. They think. 'Yeah, if I were him I would definitely help him' or 'Hunh, He sure does believe in me a whole lot...'
They 'owe' you a favor.

Step Three
>... for me Anonymous.
Not needed, but when someone remembers their name it Feels real good. Nice, and Fuzzy.

They will think of you, about how good you are, and that They Would Do Something for You.

After all, I'm sure (You) would help me if I was in your position, Ash.

Once you know about these psychological tricks it's harder to be influenced. You can also spot them slightly easier.
Getting Up Everyday
Look yourself in the mirror smile, and say today is a good day!

Any other message is good too!

No matter how you feel, Fake It. Say it Three or Five Times.

Statments that Have Happened work Great.
>>>/vx/98688 →
The psychological aspects are handy even if your don't believe in the magical stuff.
Update: I got home and he mopped. But as I told him when I left for work, if I can still see dirt, I'm doing it. He spun this tale of how it was really really hard to mop everything and he spent hours on it, but I grabbed a couple squares of TP and checked the bathroom. Pitch black. I did the same with some pledge and a paper towel in the kitchen, and it came out dark brown. He kept trying to justify himself and I kept dismissing him, telling him that I'll mop from this point on. Finally he kept on pushing about how everything I've pointed out from him is rubbish, even the things I directly saw. After over half an hour of hand and mop wiping the floor, I got tired of his shit. I asked him why Carol knew about the disconnected ethernet bridge from him but he never mentioned it to me, and he tried to lie to me that he never knew that it was back there. I "threw" my mop "at" him and he called the cops. I calmly cooperated with them, explaining that I dropped the thing to the floor, and they left the house saying this was a he-said-she-said case that couldn't be prosecuted without video evidence. So, guess who's buying a CCTV setup for his bedroom in a month or two?

I don't know about all that, sorry. All I know is that this house is the worst house on the block but that the neighbors are mostly wealthy or middle class. I'd guess given this is SoCal the price is probably in the $300k range knowing my luck.

>Wew, boy the kinds of unholy shit you can do with that info. If you want to have some fun you can redirect the websites he frequents through a url shortener to reach it. (May or may not be illegal not sure. I don't know.)
Legality be damned, I'm doin' it. He disconnected my bridge again and I'm not going to take that lying down. When he passes out I'm going out there and sneaking a peak at his router so I can PUBLISH ITS IP ADDRESS TO ALL OF YOU. And after that, we're going fucking nuclear. This is war.

>Don't have to have the blinds open all the time
Sure, but like I told the cops I want to showcase that despite the rattiness of this house, I myself have got nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing like what Govind's doing with the place.

>ultimate manipulator for positive change
At this point I'm done playing the positivity game. He's going down after his little stunt, and I'm supervising him like the child he is.

>"I'm sure you would do the same for me"
I'll use this on the neighbors while working on becoming a community ambassador. They at least have redeemable personality traits.

>Today is a good day
Despite how it sounds, I don't need to be told that. I know it. I had a wonderful day at work, covering for someone else's shift on one of my off-days like the good Samaritan I am, and coming home was the most cathartic argument I could have ever had. Doesn't hurt that I got to finally tell that slimy fucking bum how I REALLY feel, IN FULL.
>those pictures
I say don't wait and call social services on him. Say you don't know what to do and that he clearly needs help to do routine daily tasks. They might not intervene right away but you get the ball rolling and hopefully the process started.
>Router bullshit.
I don't know what to say.

Video proof should help with the social services. The pictures of the place before you make improvements, and then after I think would help.

The less work they need to do the better. (Depending on who they are as people.) Have backups, and copies so nothing disappears due to 'oversight'.

This. Start a document trail they can trace back.
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Update 2 Electric Boogaloo: the landlord called initially to take his side. But after telling him my side and listing the issues I had with the common area, he waited and then called me back. Now he wants to do weekly room inspections for all three of us. I have nothing to hide but my fetishes and my room is in substantially better condition than his. I skipped the fridge step of my plan, and went right to giving him ten days to groom his cat.
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Sounds like great progress. If he don't improve the landlord will probably evict him and you won't have to do anything to make it happen.
Be careful of him pushing more false accusations of you being violent towards him. If you get a domestic violence charge (not sure if it will be classified as that but you never know) you will never be able to own a gun. If he puts up cameras he will probably be violating some privacy laws you should call him out on. Can be used as evidence that he is starting to become paranoid and has additional mental issues on top of it all.
>spying laws
You know, that is a wonderful point I almost forgot. In CA it violates some privacy laws to record someone without their knowing. Should he do the same as me, I can simply keep my camera in my room and hang a smile-for-the-cameras door sign. If he tries to record the common area discreetly I can keep note of it.

I already spent 24 minutes showcasing every single part of the common area as well as the interior of his room. If somethig changes I can still use this as evidence in a court appointed guardian testimony

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Helping the old lady if she needs it can earn you Good Boy Points. Boosting your reputation with the community, and landlord.
Don't do anything too overt. Having the landlord evict you, and not him would not be fun.

The key to cat handling to is squish 'em. I'm allergic to cats so this is all second hand information.

All of this.
If he shapes up you win.
If he is booted out you win.
If he moves away you win.
If he get's an overseer (social service) you win.


I have actually been quite buddy buddy with her. I chatted a lot, although she is VERY long winded and often repeats herself. Week one she made ribs and corn and shared half with me. She saidthe kitchen window lost its screen panel and she was too short to get up there outside, so one night I did that as well as changing some bulbs. As part of my program, one step later on is giving Carol her entertainment center back - or at least the book space.
Carol sounds like a lovely lady that has been taken advantage of and pushed out of her space by the bum. I hope she gets her comfy space back.
Another thing, if you find time and enjoy it yourself, is that she might like to play cards or some dice game like yahtzee that will make the time go faster and chatting with her more relaxed.
I like that idea. I'll ask her if she'd like to play some wager games like Blackjack together, haha. Might be a fun way to work on the house: wager small responsibilities or cuts of the bill among each other through gambler-games.
In regards to cat handling (I was going to reply to that part but was distracted), Carol's allergic to a lot of things, but only THIS ONE CAT has caused such issues. She and I both believe this is simply an issue of hygiene and shedding, since it hasn't been brushed in so long. Hell, with a good grooming he might be able to bring it back to the living room again, as long as it doesn't mark more living room territory.
ip68-101-136-33.sd.sd.cox.net is supposedly his IP address, according to IP Chicken. I couldn't find the thing's IP address on its labels, but its name on my network is "Galactic Holonet Service" (and you already know the password).

If anyone nearby wants to hang out and hax0rz the shit, come over to Viking Lane, San Marcos CA. You'll know which car's mine ^:)
Move somewhere else. This is just going to bring you down. You need to surround yourself with positive, worthwhile people, not sacks of shit. The longer you are there, the more this neet will become "normal" to you.

Or find a new roommate and eject the neet.

>positive, worthwhile people
Pick one.

It doesn't matter anyway because I signed a year lease before finding out about all this. I found out that neither Carol nor Govind have a rental agreement, so I could very well eject him later on as long as I could find a suitable roomie to replace him the landlord REALLY doesn't like being vacant for any stretch of time; that was why I had to pay my deposit over 20 days before I moved in.
So leave. There's no fucking way I'd stay in california. I moved halfway across the country to the state I'm in now. It was a great thing, and I'd do it again if I had the choice to make again.

When I have the money for a down payment on a house, maybe I will.
He's called the police on Carol now. They didn't come, but the landlord knows that he called them over an argument again. As soon as he got home from work he's immediately gotten back to watching TV loudly in the living room, so clearly he's not shit-scared of being beaten to death by an old woman who's unable to stand upright without holding onto something.
due to the long-term nature of this whole plan, and the fact it's rent time and everything, I don't have much to say except he has yet to groom that cat. Probably gonna make my calls on rent day when things are sorted out. Next objective is going to be getting him to clean his part of the fridge - I already have masking tape dedicated to when he fails at it.
Forget all this plotting and planning. I'm done babysitting both these people. I'm done with their late night arguments about stupid minor shit. I'm done having to fuck my throat up just to shut them up. I'm done with hoping that there's any redemption for these bitter fucking children. From this point on I'm keeping to my room unless it's absolutely necessary. They can have their overfull, cluttered fridge. They can have their fly infested kitchen and stuffed living room. They can have their absolutely shit infrastructure and floorboard-less bathroom. I'm done. No more. /thread. Good night.
You might not get that in california. Get out anon, come to texas.

Hey are you, and your family okay after the earthquake?
According to my online research that's way east in Ridgecrest. I'm near the coast on the west, so I wasn't even aware until you mentioned it.

Earthquakes happen a lot in Cali, usually around the San Andreas Fault or otherwise. The coast is usually safe from any tectonic activity save for rare and minor circumstances, such as I believe 5 or 6 years ago when Oceanside was hit hard enough to actually cause some damage.