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File: 1503625540163.gif (3.63 MB, 720x404, Robbie_Rotten_Don_t_let_yo….gif)


Childhood storys?
>be 7
>had to start riding bus to school
>I quickly learned the school bus is where innocence goes to die
>at this age I already knew how sex works
>some dumb bitch argues that two women can have sex
>I say they cant because a girl doesnt have the boy part
Then her exaxt words
>yeah huh, my two aunts have something that looks like male parts so the can have sex together
>7 year old m didnt understand
>now i do
So, how fucked up was your childhood?


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^ that's amateur hour.
My childhood story:




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True story, I swear on my mum.

>Be in elementary school, circa ~2003.

>They just put in all this badass new playground equipment.
>New plastic slides, metal platforms, giant spinning cylinders that you ran on top of, a track ride ma-jigger.
>Shit was fucking cash.

Ok, so all this stuff was up a little hill, all paved over in asphalt, from a small, fenced in eating area that was shaded underneath a roof that was supported by round metal pillars. It was rectangular in shape, with metal pick nick tables running down the length of it, leaving a space in between so you could walk through the gate at one end and down the middle of the tables all the way to the back. Located at the very end of this… place, I guess… was a trough drinking fountain built into the side of a short, free-standing brick wall.

>So me and my buddy are running around, going down the slides– having fun as kids are prone to do.

>Maybe we were playing Pokemon even, I don't really remember.
>I think it was third grade, but I don't know for sure.
>Point is, we were not the biggest kids on the playground.
>We are going down the slides and running back up them, because if you don't use the playground wrong, you aren't doing it right.
>One time, I get down to the bottom of the slide, and turn around to run back up.
>I step onto the bottom and get ready to go on up when I notice this girl sitting up top, underneath he little cover, getting ready to come on down.
>I pause and look at her, and she looks at me with this sort of open-mouthed, dumbfounded look on her face.
>Well, I am the one dicking around, and it is her turn, so I just turn around and climb back to the top of the slide the normal way.

>Me and my bud keep on playing around, just doing our thing.

>All of a sudden, all these 5th grade grills come up to the playground equipment.
>They start coming at me.
>I'm just a fucking child, and there is no difference in my mind between a 5th grade girl, and a 5th grade boy, so I fucking bail.
>They split me off from my friend and run in him one direction, driving me into another.
>Running away now with a bunch of girls trailing me.
>Legit fucking scared.
>I run to the yard duty and tell him what is happening.
>I don't even know if he heard me tbh, but thinking about it now, he probably just thought it was cute/funny and that me and the girls were playing around.
>It fucking wasn't, and we weren't.
>Running for my life, I manage to avoid capture until the end of recess.

>Thank fucking God.

>It's not fucking over yet, though.
>I know that when lunchtime comes I'm gonna have to deal with this again.
>Me and my friend meet for lunch in the cafeteria.
>Normally, we'd eat our food quick, and go out to the playground as soon as they'd let us.
>But today we decide to stay inside as long as we can.
>Once they finally herd us all out of there the walk up to the playground is like a solemn death march.

>Me and my man stick together, trying to stay low and not get caught.

>It doesn't work for long though, and soon we are on the run again.
>This time I can't keep my distance.
>They capture me.
>Now, I said earlier that a 5th grader is a 5th grader, right?
>Well, that's not completely true.
>I am painfully aware of the embarrassment of being done in by a bunch of girls.
>One girl grabs me by each arm, another one or two walking behind us.
>I'm asking them what they want with me, what did I do, pleading with them to let me go.
>They carry me across the playground and into the shaded eating area.

>4th and 5th grade girls stand everywhere along the middle isle on either side.

>As my captures carry me down from the gate towards the back, I look around at the audience that has gathered to watch my shame.
>It's like a fucking conspiracy of girls.
>They all stare daggers at me as I am walked down the isle.
>As I near the end though, I look up and notice the girl from the slide.
>She is at the very far end of the area-thing, sitting on top of the drinking fountain like a queen on her throne.
>On either side of her stand more girls.
>It was fucking surreal.
>My captures walk me up to her and ask me if I know why I'm here.

>Well no shit I don't fucking know, I've been asking what the fuck was going on the whole time.

>Finally, since I didn't give them the answer they wanted, they come out and tell me what is happening.
>I kissed the girl on the slide, they said.
>Fucking bullshit, I did no such thing!
>They aren't having it though.
>I have to apologize or else I'm not going free until recess is over.
>I did not kiss her, it's not true! It's bullshit, I did not kiss her, I did not!
>It don't matter. non of this matters.
>I just wanna go to recess.
>I apologize.
>Not sincere enough.
>I have to admit I did it and say sorry.
>Do it.
>The whole time, the girl from the slide is sitting there atop her throne, staring at me wordlessly.
>They let go of me.
>I'm out of there quicker than a fucking bat out of Hell.

>mfw I was kidnapped by a group of girls because one of them made up a story about how I kissed her.

>mfw I realize years later it was probably because she liked me.
>mfw I was, at the behest of like all the fucking older girls in the school, brought before the Slide Queen to bow down to her.
>mfw 23-year-old KHV.
>mfw if I was just 2 or 3 years more mentally mature, I could have been a fucking OG elementary school Chad.

(Incidentally, I think this was the same year that my friend got in trouble for walking around with his middle finger raised during the entire recess. I was actually ignorant of the gesture's meaning at the time, so when all the kids and even the teacher told him to put it down without ever explaining what it meant, I jumped in to defend his right to hold his finger up. I think I might have joined him in it as a sign of solidarity.)


This whole story seems like a pretty good example of why women really should not be allowed to have any power. Ten bucks says that girl has accused some innocent person of raping her by now. You dodged a bullet anon.


>Can't play pokemans cause some kid got stabbed over that one time
>Can't watch DBZ because it has fighting in it
>Can't play vidya james cause they're evil
WHAT childhood?


…Are you me?


I wasn't even allowed to play some E rated games after becoming a teenager because my mom thought the box art looked scary.


>when I was in elementary school sometime between 2 and 4 grade, I got my mom to take me down to Blockbuster and buy me GTA Vice City
>She later told me that the clerk gave her a dirty look when we were at the checkout counter

Shit was so cash. It was the first game I had where I learned to use the internet to help me find things and whatnot. And actually, it was my dad who taught me how. One time when my cousins came over, (it felt like years later, but idk) I fired up the game to show them an awesome glitch I found. My dad must have seen how much fun I was having, cause he walked in and gave me a copy of San Andreas for the PS2. This was when it just came out as Play Station exclusive. I actually had to ask if I was dreaming. It looked so fucking realistic. Bet my cousins were jelly af.


>be 9
>Mare in the garden eating grass
>Scared she would bite me If o pet her head
>Pet her by the side since it seemed like a good idea
>She turns her butt to me and kicks me in the stomach, launching me around two feet away
>Run home crying
>Be scared of horses until 17


That's actually really lucky, anon.
My cousin got kicked in the head by a horse when he was around 12 I think, nearly killed him.
It literally changed his personality after too.


Approaching a horse unexpected, especially a mare, is incredibly dangerous: they can fuck your shit up.
That's why racehorse breeders need to use teasers, to keep the mares from seriously injuring their prized stallions.


approaching a horse from behind*




I don't know if I'm incredibly lucky, unlucky or both really
That is one of many times I got into quite serious trouble and got out with just a bruise


If you didn't get the kicked spot checked out, it could have been much worse. Internal bleeding could have killed you after that easily.
I've had lots of shit happen to me too, but I survived it all, kinda in the same boat, not sure if I'm unlucky, lucky or both.


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>be me
>shit my underwear until I'm 10
>because autistically didn't have time for bathroom
>other stuff was more important than bathroom
>it got bad enough that parents forced me to wear diapers until I got my shit together
>mfw I even did this in school

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