Hello /mlp/. I'm a /pol/ack who's been following this community and has been convinced to start watching the show. The simple “friendship lesson of the week” format has gotten me thinking about a friendship issue of my own. The question has been weighing hard on my mind, so bear with me. I've got a bit of a wall of text incoming.
You see, I've lost touch with an old high-school friend of mine. We had been friends for years and mostly bonded over non-political topics like discussing novels and movies, /tg/ style hobbies like trading card games or RPGs, and playing video games. Political topics were generally avoided. In general though, our political views are very much opposites.
As a /pol/ack, I'm sure that you can guess my opinions and can infer his. He is very supportive of LGBT and feminist movements. He supports the unlimited immigration of “refugees” into Europe. For the police brutality/black lives matter incidents in the past few years, his opinion is that the black man is always in the right. He dindu nuffin. He thinks the police are racist and corrupt and fabricated any evidence that shows that the victim may have been in the wrong and that the officer was only doing his job in accordance with his training. He's a believer in white privilege and that it's basically the responsibility for whites to kotow to other races and especially blacks as some kind of reparations for the actions of our forefathers. He also has that weird view on racism where black people cannot be racist by and that it is impossible to be racist to white people.
Why would I be friends with someone with those views? Simply put, I don't think that matching political opinions are necessary as a prerequisite for friendship. If anything I think that it can be very healthy to have a friend with differing political opinions. Someone who can argue a case from a different perspective that you may not have considered. I think that sort of friendly debate is ultimately necessary for determining the best courses of action to societal problems, and I have other friends with differing opinions who are open to friendly debate. Honestly, as a millennial, it is hard to find peers who share my conservative viewpoints. This particular friend was not open to friendly debate. It's either accept his dogma or shut down the conversation. So in general everyone avoided discussing political topics around him, however sometimes situations forced those topics to the forefront.
The 2016 election season was particularly stressful on our friendship. As an early Trump supporter, I might as well have been supporting literally Hitler in his eyes. He was a strong Bernie supporter and I don't think that he had any real love for Hillary. He had a hard time coming to grips with mounting evidence that the DNC rigged the game against Bernie. After all, in his mind, the Democrats are saints and they would never do something like that. Eventually he just accepted that Bernie lost and fell in line behind Hillary.
/mlpol/ - My Little Politics
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>>27146
The Hillary email scandal also created a lot of strife. To him the emails were literally nothing of consequence and he would shut me out whenever I tried to explain that I would instantly lose my security clearance, any hope of ever getting a security clearance again, and likely be jailed for doing a fraction of what Hillary did. Last July when FBI Directory Comey gave his press conference on the investigation, this friend ignored and would not discuss the 20 some minutes of Comey laying out the mountains of evidence of Hillary's wrongdoing and focused entirely on his paradoxical assertion that no prosecutor would take the case against Hillary. That was golden proof in his eyes that Hillary was completely innocent.
The straw that broke the camel's back ultimately had nothing to do with the election, however I imagine election day might have created the same outcome. Around fall last year, EA released Battlefield 1. A different friend and I were discussing on Discord whether or not we were planning on getting the game. I wanted to hold off unless the game received exceptionally good reviews because I was offended by the black-washing of the armies in the game. I felt that portraying the armies, especially the German forces, as ~30% black was entirely an inaccurate representation of the demographics of those nations during that time period and an insult to the men who died fighting for their countries in WWI. I believe that was the trigger because shortly afterwards he severed communications with me. He defriended and blocked me on most social media and gaming platforms. He didn't say a word to me about it. He just went dark.
That's actually kind of a common response from him. He's shut off contact with other people in our circle of friends before, and on a few occasions some friends have come to me to act as a middleman to try to extend an olive branch and reestablish contact. This was the first time he'd ever cut himself off from me though.
At least initially I figured that I'd just let him go and give him space to himself. Then Trump won and I figured that I'd probably be the last person on the planet that he'd want to talk to at the time. Then the left “failed to stop Trump” from getting inaugurated, and I figured that he'd probably still be salty in addition to thinking that Trump is a Russian agent.. Then /mlpol/ happened, I started watching Friendship is Magic, and I'm asking myself the question “should I try to rebuild the bridges that my friend so readily burned?”
I know what /pol/ would say. FUCK NO. He acted like a child, and is acting like some kind of obedient cult member that is beyond reason. That we're better off separated and that he can go worship his celebrity idols and Saturday night comedians without me pointing out the hypocrisy and bias of the media. If he wants to walk away, then let him.
But I'm not sure what /mlp/ would say. He did not do a thorough job of blocking me. If I want to, I can get a message to him. Although I don't know how he would react. I feel that I cannot apologize because I do not believe that I have done anything wrong and therefore don't have anything to apologize for. I know that I would accept if he were to approach me and ask to be friends again.
As a good friend, should I try to reestablish what bond we had even after he so suddenly severed it? Or should I accept that the friendship has reached its conclusion and try to remember the fonder moments instead of the strife leading up to its end?
The Hillary email scandal also created a lot of strife. To him the emails were literally nothing of consequence and he would shut me out whenever I tried to explain that I would instantly lose my security clearance, any hope of ever getting a security clearance again, and likely be jailed for doing a fraction of what Hillary did. Last July when FBI Directory Comey gave his press conference on the investigation, this friend ignored and would not discuss the 20 some minutes of Comey laying out the mountains of evidence of Hillary's wrongdoing and focused entirely on his paradoxical assertion that no prosecutor would take the case against Hillary. That was golden proof in his eyes that Hillary was completely innocent.
The straw that broke the camel's back ultimately had nothing to do with the election, however I imagine election day might have created the same outcome. Around fall last year, EA released Battlefield 1. A different friend and I were discussing on Discord whether or not we were planning on getting the game. I wanted to hold off unless the game received exceptionally good reviews because I was offended by the black-washing of the armies in the game. I felt that portraying the armies, especially the German forces, as ~30% black was entirely an inaccurate representation of the demographics of those nations during that time period and an insult to the men who died fighting for their countries in WWI. I believe that was the trigger because shortly afterwards he severed communications with me. He defriended and blocked me on most social media and gaming platforms. He didn't say a word to me about it. He just went dark.
That's actually kind of a common response from him. He's shut off contact with other people in our circle of friends before, and on a few occasions some friends have come to me to act as a middleman to try to extend an olive branch and reestablish contact. This was the first time he'd ever cut himself off from me though.
At least initially I figured that I'd just let him go and give him space to himself. Then Trump won and I figured that I'd probably be the last person on the planet that he'd want to talk to at the time. Then the left “failed to stop Trump” from getting inaugurated, and I figured that he'd probably still be salty in addition to thinking that Trump is a Russian agent.. Then /mlpol/ happened, I started watching Friendship is Magic, and I'm asking myself the question “should I try to rebuild the bridges that my friend so readily burned?”
I know what /pol/ would say. FUCK NO. He acted like a child, and is acting like some kind of obedient cult member that is beyond reason. That we're better off separated and that he can go worship his celebrity idols and Saturday night comedians without me pointing out the hypocrisy and bias of the media. If he wants to walk away, then let him.
But I'm not sure what /mlp/ would say. He did not do a thorough job of blocking me. If I want to, I can get a message to him. Although I don't know how he would react. I feel that I cannot apologize because I do not believe that I have done anything wrong and therefore don't have anything to apologize for. I know that I would accept if he were to approach me and ask to be friends again.
As a good friend, should I try to reestablish what bond we had even after he so suddenly severed it? Or should I accept that the friendship has reached its conclusion and try to remember the fonder moments instead of the strife leading up to its end?
This guy seems like bad cancer, its completely fine having different opinions than your friends but you have to be able to respect the fact that they hold different ideals then you. which seems like something your friend just cant do
>>27146
>>27147
Friendship is a thing that has to work both ways. Both of you have to have mutual respect for each other, but not in every way. You two differ in political opinions and that is fine as long as it isn't enough to keep you two from being friends in other aspects. If you enjoy the same /tg/ like games and vidya then that can totally bring you two together on those topics. Sure you might disagree politically but that doesn't mean you can't be friends.
You should come forward to him and tell him you still want to be his friend. Don't apologize but just tell him you still like being with him and enjoy his company that is if you do. Let him know that you don't like the fact that he cut you out because he was important to you. But also let him know that you still differ from him politically. He doesn't have to talk to you about politics but he has to accept that if he brings it up you won't agree with him, and at times you might bring up something that he will disagree with. If he still doesn't want to be your friend after all this then won't work because friendship needs to go both ways. If he just can't respect you for your opinions then he wasn't your friend to begin with just someone who held common interests. But if he does accept your friendship then just steer clear of politics unless he wants to have an honest conversation. And if he does be honest.
Thats my friendship advice to you at least I have a lot of different friends politically and thats how I have managed to keep them.
>>27147
Friendship is a thing that has to work both ways. Both of you have to have mutual respect for each other, but not in every way. You two differ in political opinions and that is fine as long as it isn't enough to keep you two from being friends in other aspects. If you enjoy the same /tg/ like games and vidya then that can totally bring you two together on those topics. Sure you might disagree politically but that doesn't mean you can't be friends.
You should come forward to him and tell him you still want to be his friend. Don't apologize but just tell him you still like being with him and enjoy his company that is if you do. Let him know that you don't like the fact that he cut you out because he was important to you. But also let him know that you still differ from him politically. He doesn't have to talk to you about politics but he has to accept that if he brings it up you won't agree with him, and at times you might bring up something that he will disagree with. If he still doesn't want to be your friend after all this then won't work because friendship needs to go both ways. If he just can't respect you for your opinions then he wasn't your friend to begin with just someone who held common interests. But if he does accept your friendship then just steer clear of politics unless he wants to have an honest conversation. And if he does be honest.
Thats my friendship advice to you at least I have a lot of different friends politically and thats how I have managed to keep them.
>>27146
You may not like my answer, but I'll give it the best I can. I don't have experience with political differences on this scale, but I do have experience with abruptly shutting off communication with a close friend.
It honestly sounds like your friend is too far gone. Having different - or very different - political views is one thing, but he sounds like someone who's not open to people with differing views, period. The "racism is bad, also fuck white people it's impossible to be racist to white people" mentality is especially off-putting, and the fact that he's shut off several other people as well is a red flag. If he cares about your friendship as much as it looks like you care about his, he would respect your views and recognize that you can still be a good person/friend and have your views, even if he disagrees with them.
I would want you to keep your friendship if possible, but it truly looks like everything is on him. You didn't do anything wrong, all aggression is on his side, he does this sort of thing often with people... I don't know if you could salvage a friendship from this.
t. /pol/lack who's been watching MLP for about four years
That being said, I do have a question: would you say he was your "main friend" or just another friend within a group? Because if he was your main friend, I recommend trying one more time to stay friends. Don't apologize (you didn't do anything wrong) but try to make it clear that you don't want any bad blood between you.
You may not like my answer, but I'll give it the best I can. I don't have experience with political differences on this scale, but I do have experience with abruptly shutting off communication with a close friend.
It honestly sounds like your friend is too far gone. Having different - or very different - political views is one thing, but he sounds like someone who's not open to people with differing views, period. The "racism is bad, also fuck white people it's impossible to be racist to white people" mentality is especially off-putting, and the fact that he's shut off several other people as well is a red flag. If he cares about your friendship as much as it looks like you care about his, he would respect your views and recognize that you can still be a good person/friend and have your views, even if he disagrees with them.
I would want you to keep your friendship if possible, but it truly looks like everything is on him. You didn't do anything wrong, all aggression is on his side, he does this sort of thing often with people... I don't know if you could salvage a friendship from this.
t. /pol/lack who's been watching MLP for about four years
That being said, I do have a question: would you say he was your "main friend" or just another friend within a group? Because if he was your main friend, I recommend trying one more time to stay friends. Don't apologize (you didn't do anything wrong) but try to make it clear that you don't want any bad blood between you.
>>27151
I don't consider him my best friend. He was the last of the two friends that I made in High School. My circle of friends shrank drastically after middle school because I changed school systems. Social media wasn't as widespread back then, so I mostly only kept up with the ones that were in the Boy Scouts with me or frequently played video games with me. Scouting, Starcraft, warcraft III, and battlefield 2 were my lifelines to my old elementary and middle school friends. High School was a transition from private to public schools for me, and I did not like what I saw. The school was fucking huge, so I rarely saw the same faces between classes each semester. No Child Left Behind was starting to go into full swing and it really highlighted the dregs of society in the school system. I didn't want to even associate with 90% of the people there. I focused on my studies and eventually earned an academic scholarship that paid for my college tuition.
I lost the first of the two friends that I made in high-school during college when he betrayed me and stabbed me in the back pretty hard.
To be honest, things have been getting kind of lonely the past few years. Many of my friends are getting married and starting families. I'm happy for them, but they obviously have huge time commitments that demand their attention. Contact with my best friend has been sparse because he joined the Navy and is usually either deployed to god knows where or is living in a timezone on the other side of the planet.
I feel that I should be writing off the friend mentioned in the OP, but I also don't have many friends left at all to give up. I want to start making new friends, but it feels hard making friends after college. To be a conservative millennial is practically synonymous with being a pariah these days. I think that I'll probably be better off trying to create new friends from people in different generations than me rather than continuing to associate with people my own age.
I don't consider him my best friend. He was the last of the two friends that I made in High School. My circle of friends shrank drastically after middle school because I changed school systems. Social media wasn't as widespread back then, so I mostly only kept up with the ones that were in the Boy Scouts with me or frequently played video games with me. Scouting, Starcraft, warcraft III, and battlefield 2 were my lifelines to my old elementary and middle school friends. High School was a transition from private to public schools for me, and I did not like what I saw. The school was fucking huge, so I rarely saw the same faces between classes each semester. No Child Left Behind was starting to go into full swing and it really highlighted the dregs of society in the school system. I didn't want to even associate with 90% of the people there. I focused on my studies and eventually earned an academic scholarship that paid for my college tuition.
I lost the first of the two friends that I made in high-school during college when he betrayed me and stabbed me in the back pretty hard.
To be honest, things have been getting kind of lonely the past few years. Many of my friends are getting married and starting families. I'm happy for them, but they obviously have huge time commitments that demand their attention. Contact with my best friend has been sparse because he joined the Navy and is usually either deployed to god knows where or is living in a timezone on the other side of the planet.
I feel that I should be writing off the friend mentioned in the OP, but I also don't have many friends left at all to give up. I want to start making new friends, but it feels hard making friends after college. To be a conservative millennial is practically synonymous with being a pariah these days. I think that I'll probably be better off trying to create new friends from people in different generations than me rather than continuing to associate with people my own age.
The olive branch should be extended, but with caution. I suggest just one more chance. If he shuts you out, never consider it again. He was the one who burnt that bridge in the first place. Honestly, people that petty don't seem to have a lick of loyalty. That's all I have to say.
Reach out, but don't make a big deal of it. Just say that he's still your friend if he ever wants to hang out, and politics doesn't have to be a deal breaker. He may cut off communications even more but at least there is an open door on your side.
There's been plenty of examples of people getting lost in the SJW cult who will one day need a way of getting out when they're stabbed in the back for not being ideologically pure enough.
There's been plenty of examples of people getting lost in the SJW cult who will one day need a way of getting out when they're stabbed in the back for not being ideologically pure enough.
>>27205
This. I've had friends shut me out for similar reasons, differing world views if you will, and I can confirm that this works as a ground rule if you play it right.
This. I've had friends shut me out for similar reasons, differing world views if you will, and I can confirm that this works as a ground rule if you play it right.
>>28442
The situation has advanced since then. I had postponed re-establishing contact by a few weeks because I had some events in my life that I didn't want to be interrupted by having to deal with a potential outburst of additional drama.
Earlier this week I re-established contact. He didn't want to talk about the schism or the events that led up to it, but he wanted to try to put it behind us. My understanding is that he's been through some rough times recently, although he didn't specify what was wrong and I didn't press him for more at the time.
We have plans to play that new "Player Unknown's Battlegrounds" game this weekend, and more catching up might take place in idle moments during that Hunger Games style battle royale.
I'm going to do what I can to try and repair the damage that has been done. If things explode on us again, then at least I'll be able to sleep easier knowing that I've done my part to try and hold things together.
I appreciate the feedback that you all provided. I do worry that one of these days the progressive crowd is going to turn on him, as we all know they are prone to doing. I don't think that he can reconcile the facts of the world around us with his preconceived world view that he wants to preserve. For example, I don't think that he's capable of explaining the series of Islamic terror attacks that have taken place in Europe over the past few weeks and instead willingly will turn a blind eye towards it. That's going to backfire on him some day. Hopefully it will be a learning experience that will help him mature and not a disaster that destroys him.
The situation has advanced since then. I had postponed re-establishing contact by a few weeks because I had some events in my life that I didn't want to be interrupted by having to deal with a potential outburst of additional drama.
Earlier this week I re-established contact. He didn't want to talk about the schism or the events that led up to it, but he wanted to try to put it behind us. My understanding is that he's been through some rough times recently, although he didn't specify what was wrong and I didn't press him for more at the time.
We have plans to play that new "Player Unknown's Battlegrounds" game this weekend, and more catching up might take place in idle moments during that Hunger Games style battle royale.
I'm going to do what I can to try and repair the damage that has been done. If things explode on us again, then at least I'll be able to sleep easier knowing that I've done my part to try and hold things together.
I appreciate the feedback that you all provided. I do worry that one of these days the progressive crowd is going to turn on him, as we all know they are prone to doing. I don't think that he can reconcile the facts of the world around us with his preconceived world view that he wants to preserve. For example, I don't think that he's capable of explaining the series of Islamic terror attacks that have taken place in Europe over the past few weeks and instead willingly will turn a blind eye towards it. That's going to backfire on him some day. Hopefully it will be a learning experience that will help him mature and not a disaster that destroys him.
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