Taken from “The Four Loves” by C.S. Lewis. I recommend watching all four of these videos, ending with Agape, as they are quite revealing of human nature.
First of all, it’s important to realize that there are four types of love:
Agape, the divine love, which transcends all other kinds of love and is love for its own sake
Eros, romantic love, which is the love that makes itself felt in “falling in love” as well as in sexual relationships
Storge, affection, which is the love one feels toward his family and relatives as well as toward neighbors and acquaintances
Philia, friendship, which is the special love one feels toward close and dear friends
It is uncommon in today’s world to experience philia, you would be very fortunate if you do so. You’re likely to feel eros and storge at one time or another, even agape if you’re religious, but philia is exceedingly uncommon as it requires a much more peculiar set of personalities and situations to develop. It’s not the same as today’s concept of “friends” who are people you hang out with. Thus most people go through their whole lives without true friends.
Philia was worshipped by the ancient Greeks because it was considered the most “spiritual” of loves (which is also why it’s the most uncommon). It is not something you can observe among animals. It is also completely “unnecessary” in natural terms as well as voluntary, and it does not have any personal gain as its end. It is also not jealous; to have more friends is always better.
Camaraderie is not the same but it is a prerequisite. Camaraderie is part of being a team or “club” for the sake of either similar goals or companionship, but after achieving these goals you may thank each other and go your separate ways. Signs of philia are if after long absences or changes in profession old friends can still carry on a friendship as if there was no pause at all. Likewise there is a lack of material interest; one cares about the other person only because of personality and any material attributes are an accident, something merely to be talked about. Companionship is external, philia is internal, but the latter is derived from the former.
As there’s no self-interest like that in storge it cannot be corrupted from within by animal instincts. Philia is in fact so powerful that it tends to have higher priority than the other loves, particularly storge and eros. “Bros before hoes” is implicit and need not a reminder if it is true philia. Friends have the same goals.
Philia as a very spiritual love amplifies one’s own moral strength. With a “band of brothers” one can stand against the world and care not for its judgement. One person alone may fear the retribution of society but with several true friends this is virtually absent; there is a micro-society that has its own norms and standards apart from society and it’s to this one holds oneself. Hence the analogy of a “resistance movement,” but this can be for either good or evil. Martyrs may celebrate that they’re going to the gallows together as friends, but gang members (or the corrupt elite of today) may have no less strong a feeling of philia.
The dearth of philia today can be seen by how few novels celebrate it. Of course characters have friends, but is there the same bond that was sacred in classical novels? I think that MLP had a noble goal of reawakening the importance and nature of friendship though it lost sight of this in later seasons.
God, although he compares His love to that of a lover (eros) or that of a father (storge) quite often, very seldom compares it to that of a friend in the Bible. C.S. Lewis doesn’t explain why specifically but I think the sketch artist who uploaded the video has a good explanation. Friendship with God is something to be earned because it is a special understanding that requires understanding somewhat and accepting wholly God’s will. Many of us say we would accept God’s plan but if we actually knew what it entailed would probably want to thwart it; even Peter who is certainly Christ’s friend invited rebuke (Matt 16:22). To be a friend of God is to be in His confidence and requires a level of spiritual union that only the saints have achieved.