This thread typically consists of Anon gone filly, as he's thrust into a new life as a cute little pony.
>What's to be expected?
Fillies, cuteness, Anon-tier shenanigans, bitchy Twilight, desires to be the little filly, etc..
>Any archive of photos or stories?
>I'm a contributor.
Great! For writers, just notify All Nighter Fgt, so you can have your green to the Doc. For artists, animators, or any other content makers, you can store your fillies in the Dropbox for future viewing pleasure.
Some especially based faggot also recently compiled nearly every filly image ever created, which you can check out here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Bff9CRn8VVwgpxT6sU6cottQsQ3svXGI
Assess how well you fit into the filly hivemind: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/personality-quiz/?group=-LdS-38NvfIG9PHPrYB8
>I don't like this thread because of reasons.
You'll never know how it is unless you try a dose of filly.
Old-mare Thread: >>216907 →
I wish to be the pee that goes into the filly's mouth.
I wish to be the filly that is in charge of pee production
Benis :DDDDDI wonder why we haven't had a Gondola Filly before now...
Because you touch yourself at night.
Feels good man.
>>219873>Filly in charge of the Kirin Brewery
WHICH WONE of YOUU fucking reeetards spammin' DERBYBOORU?! XD XDDD
Hi Anon! My name is Milky Way, and I'm going to be your wet nurse!
>>219921>Wet nurses are employed if the mother dies, or if she is unable or elects not to nurse the child herself.
I-I just want mamma suckles...
Anon, I'm going to ask you something very uncomfortable and mildly suggestive!
We all do, filly....we all do.
>>219947>implying the wet nurse won't become your mother figure
You better not you purple bitch
I'll do it you little green cunt, don't think I won't
>>219605 →Might as well post some music since I've been making sparing use of the file attachments lately. Also a good game if you haven't played it, not to shill.>Be Anon.>You're still very much in the middle of the goddamn woods.>You feel a splitting headache as you try to get up and groan.>You're nowhere near where you fell asleep, no thorns in sight.>Great, just fucking excellent...>Well, your best bet now is to get to high ground if you can find it.>Looking up into the air, you scan the surrounding area for any nearby hills or mountains.>Aha!>You start off in that direction, humming little tunes to yourself.>You can't really remember if they're made up or just something you heard forever ago on the radio, and you doubt you'll have the chance to find out again...>You could just leave now, if you wanted to.>Well, if you didn't feel like you still owed Twilight something...>After she broke your ribs, your spirit and stabbed you with a fork?>You're not exactly sure.>She does give good snuggles...>You sigh and continue to plod your way to the hill.>You couldn't ever leave.>Not now at least...>No time to sulk now, you've got a mountain to get to.>Time goes by in a sort of haze as you walk through the well-lit forest.>What time was it when you left? >Doesn't matter.>You look up every once in a while to check your progress and make sure you aren't getting lost, but other than that you just sort of zone out.>You remember your favorite practices when you were walking as a little kid.>Making up little songs and counting steps.>God you're such a fucking autist...>...>Nobody to judge you on that out here.
"Sixteen counts inside my mind again. She'll always be fat, she'll never be thin. And if you're wondering about the where and the then, I have to confess I don't know it begins. You come home every day to absolutely nothing. Your seedlings are dead, and your dishes need rubbing. You can't find your way no matter how hard you try, you don't wanna live, you just wanna die.">It's... a start.
"Fifteen counts inside my mind again. A sweet little girl by the name of Gwen. Left to die on the side of the road, the rain soaking into her blood-stained clothes. She keeps it up for as long as she can, her ears echoing the sounds of the greasy white van. She claws out for mercy but only touches rubber, it's good enough for now but she never quite recovers.">You think you'll stop singing now.>You come across a clearing in a few more minutes.>You're rather hungry, so you decide to bite the bullet and see if your digestive system models that of a real horse.>Leaning down, you take a mouthful of grass and chew it carefully.>Tastes like lettuce, not exactly great but bearable.>You'd need to eat a lot of this to be full.>And well, you do want to be full.>...>It's about three hours when you next start your journey again by your estimations.>The sun is up at about noon now.>Based Celestia.>You reach down to your barrel to fiddle with some of the vials Zecora gave you only to find that there are none.>Dirty fucking bastards robbed your sleeping body.
"Ziggers.">You run through your entire list of expletives, both pony and human before you finally stop.>You're at the base of the mountain.
"Halfway there...">You tentatively put up a hoof and begin to climb.>Either you starve to death out here, or you risk it on this mountain.>Well, considering grass sucks you'll probably starve yourself to death.>In any case, you want to go home.>You nearly slip and lose your hold on the rocks a few times, but years of living in a mountainous area back when you were human certainly paid off.>...
>>219972>This would be the lookout if you were back home, you suppose.>Beautiful trees in every cardinal direction, cool breeze in your hair...>And far off in the distance, a small pillar of smoke.>You see no sign of Ponyville, so that's your best bet.>Well, your best bet right after you take a short nap...>...>You sleep dreamlessly.>No visits from gods that want to bring you eternal pain.>Nothing from Sweetie.>No horrible fucking nightmares about Twilight disemboweling you, just...>Calm sleep.>You wake up feeling refreshed to a very curious looking goat standing over you.
"Oh. Hey, you have no idea how much I've wanted to see another quadru-">It just bleats and walks off.>Funny, you would've expected it to be capable of speech given this crazy fucked world.>No time to waste thinking about that though, you've got a smokestack to catch.>Why are you in such a hurry?>You opt to take a good look around the peak instead.>Something... went very wrong here.>Scattered just beyond where your eyes were able to see, a once grisly sight awaits.>A skeletal pony clutches a spear, the tip of it lodged deep into the eye socket of its skull.>A bowl rests nearby, clearly stained with what is possibly decades old blood at this point.>Fucker probably went crazy living up here and seppeku'd.>Damn shame. >As you lean in close to examine the bowl, you yelp.>The spear flies out of the pony's eye socket and lands harmlessly on your back.>Fucking hell, that could've been awful.>You try to shake it off, but it's stuck.>Must be your magnetic spine implan->A literal lightbulb appears over your head. >Cartoon physics...>Looking around, you catch a glimpse of a medical bag.>Please please please please please please...>You open it up, all ten of your former fingers crossed in spirit.>Yes!>Sitting inside is a single broken bottle that once contained a medicinal potion and a single hypodermic needle.>You pick up the bag, placing the bowl carefully inside too.>You can't mess any of this up...>You drag the skull of the dead pony over to the exact direction where you can still see smoke billowing out of the stack.>There's a flat area on the mountain, and you roll it down.>It comes to a rest undamaged in a bit of tall grass.>Excellent.>Trotting back over to the spear, you use a particularly pointy rock to break off the handle and put the head in your bag as well.>You're not going to lose your way to that smoke.>...>Even more exhausted, you reach the base of the mountain.>Locating the skull, you set out all of your supplies.>You carefully snap off the needle from the rest of the syringe and set it in the bowl, setting the plunger and measuring capsule back in your bag.>With very careful maneuvering of the tongue and your little hooves, you finally manage to scrape the magnetic spearhead across the needle a good amount of times.>The moment of truth...>You relax your bladder and sigh as you release the full organ into the bowl.>Well, you have to go off somewhere else to finish up, too much piss for one container.>Luckily the blood is well and truly dried, you really don't want that mix splashing in your face.>You set your magnetized needle in your own urine and it immediately swivels around to face you.>Ah, so that's north.>Then it would appear based off of Mr. Bones here that you are going...>West.>What a funny day.>...>You are a Cockatrice.>Your thoughts are not complex, but you do begin to notice some peculiar things if they go on long enough.>And this is a very peculiar thing.>A purple mare keeps calling out for her daughter, occasionally lifting up and throwing trees in anger.>You look over at her and cock your head, curious.>She gives you a death glare that puts your own to shame.>"I'll cook you up and turn you into chicken... tendies if you so much as fuck with me right now, birdbrain.">You don't need to be told twice to go about your business elsewhere.>...>Huh, what's this?>It's a small green pony, all alone.>Well, beggars can't be choosers.>As you ready yourself to turn it to stone, the last thing that passes through your mind is a white-hot bolt of energy.>...>Be Anon.
Last one is a bit short, it's a shame this game doesn't have a better community.>>219973>You've nearly lost your grip on the piss bowl multiple times, but you've managed to hold onto it with your combined desire of not getting the mess all over your fur and not wanting blood tainted piss in your mouth.>You have no idea how long Pony-AIDs can survive dormant.>Your needle still points due North, which is a miracle considering how fast the ones made in your middle school science class failed.>Maybe pony piss really does have some sort of magical properties to it...>Maybe you need to try some some time...>You set down the bowl for a second to look up at the smoke billowing up.>You're close now, you can feel it.>No need to lug this thing around anymore, it's served it's purpose.>However, you would be kind of an ASShole to leave the damn thing out in the open for some poor pony to potentially cut themselves on...>You pour the whole mess onto a tree and bury the needle itself deep in the ground.>There, no longer your problem.>You can smell the emissions now.>It isn't smoke, it's sugary sweet and it makes your mouth water.>You take in a deep breath before walking up to...>You recoil back in shock.>It...>It's Golden Oak.>You fall down in awe, just staring at the structure before you.>The door opens.>You hear the sound of crackling magic.>"Who goes there?!">You look up to see no other but... Princess Twilight.>Well, not Princess Twilight...>Just Twilight.>Before you know it, you're wrapped in the tightest hug you've ever known.>"Oh Celestia, I thought I'd never see another pony again..."
"W-what happened to you? Where's the castle? Your wings, P-Ponyville?">"I... can explain one of those things. Come inside, I'll make you some chocolate milk. Foals like that, right?"
"Y-yes.">Your mouth waters at the mere thought.>You sit down on the comfortable sofa and simply take it all in.>It's just as homey as you remember it looking in the show, but on the inside...>Books are strewn everywhere, the ladder has a few cobwebs hanging off of it.>Twilight comes back with your milk and sits down across from you.>"Oh, you're eyeing up my books? I'm sorry everything is such a mess, I didn't honestly think I'd ever have more visitors."
"I-It's alright.">"Oh, where are my manners, I'm T-"
"Twilight Sparkle.">She's taken aback a bit.>"How did you know my name?">You twirl your mane a bit with a hoof.
"Well, Twilight, I don't really think I'm supposed to be here.">...>Be Anon.>"What the fuck do you mean you can't remember anything?! How the hell did you get out into the Everfree?"
"I don't know... the last thing I remember was playing Gamma Eques with my friends and-">"Bull fucking shit! You never told me about that game."
"I-I told you multiple times Mommy, you were fine with it...">"Do I look like I'm fucking fine?!">She turns around and you see a look of pure rage in her eyes.>"You could've gotten yourself killed out there, now we're going to take you right back home and you and League are going to explain exactly what cockamamie plan you were enacting."
"Mommy...">"What is it?">You don't like it when she snaps at you...>You really try...
"Mommy, League is dead. You took me to her funeral.">She doesn't answer you.
"Y-you said I couldn't see her, the Timberwolves got her...">She still isn't saying anything.
"Mommy?">"We'll be home soon kiddo, hang on.">She breaks into a full gallop, your flanks barely held onto her back by magic.
After having finished reading up to ASSFAGGOT's most recent updates in the main story, I feel like making an alternate ending. Call it a fan work. Choo choo, all aboard the feels traaaain.
>Be the filly
>It's been at least a year since you first started your life in Equestria
>While you've had some fun times, and shared some laughs, you still despise Purple for what she's done to you
>You would elaborate on that, but if you thought about it directly, your neck would probably burn right through from the collar's shocking
>You've learned to simply do anything you can to suppress the thoughts of life before, euphemisms and weasely tricks to prevent your collar from shocking you even when you don't act your thoughts out
>Hopefully this will at least help you retain some sense of your true identity, right?
>Continue to be the filly
>You lie in bed with m- Purple cuddling you like the little spoon she's made you into, the both of you fast asleep
>But while Twilight is serene and calm, you're in a much, much worse state
>You keep having dreams...human dreams, with human thoughts and human acts
>You can never remember them afterwards, both due to your collar and due to the distance and fogginess of your own memory, but the feelings are distinct
>You feel outcast, frustrated, secluded
>You can recall faint but still painful memories of fights and attacks, of conflicts and struggle
>While your waking life is more vivid and colorful and cutesy, oftentimes it feels similar to this
>But in your human dreams, you feel...comfort
>No matter how hard life beats you down, you've got your bed, you've got your car, you've got your computer, and you've got at least the willpower needed to keep yourself from dying in a gutter
>You're not the strongest, you're not the brightest, you're not the smoothest, but you can accept that
>Calluses and scars both literal and metaphorical made you what you are
>They made you a creature of the world, with the focus of a predator and the power of sentience
>While you never appreciated it, they made you stronger and smarter than you would have been in a world free of danger
>Your hazy memories grow more erratic as your body finally registers the pain of electricity surging throughout your system
>Your limbs lock up both in meatspace and in your dreams, forcing you to your knees as you open your mouth in a paralyzed state of horror and agony
>Your dream shatters around you, inky blackness surrounding you as your dream body changes back into that of a filly
>Your heart throbs with no sense of rhythm, your vocal chords too strained to speak out and call for help
>But in the end, calling for help would do nothing, for you are well and truly alone
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Your little filly jerks in your embrace, kicking a hindleg against your knee harder than you ever thought she could
>You gasp out in pain and surprise, quickly jumping out from the covers before realizing what's happening
>Anonfilly, your baby is...
>You shout out in fear, foregoing the suffix or pet names
>She doesn't seem to respond to anything you do attempt to wake her
>Not even attempting to resuscitate her by pumping her chest seems to help
>Tears stream down her cheeks as her horrifically wide eyes suddenly gain focus and gaze right into your soul without a hint of emotion
>Her tremors and lock-up seem to finally calm as you hug her tight, hoping against hope that her flare-up might finally be coming to an end
>A minute passes as you rock her in your embrace, putting her head on your shoulder in an attempt to calm her
>Her voice is raspy and weak, and she closes her eyes as she seems to run out of energy in one long seizure
"W-what is it, honey?"
>"....I...I hate you, s-s-so fucking much..."
>You couldn't punish that right after such a severe seizure, but nonetheless your grip on her loosens until she's just sitting close to you in bed
>She doesn't say anything else, but you can see her lightly shudder and shake as she seems to drift off
>The guilt rises in your chest as you see the poor girl recover from the sudden cardiac fit
>That couldn't be...was it the collar?
>Just to be safe, you hesitantly disenchant it and remove it from her neck
>Underneath where it once was, you can see singe marks in her fur and skin
>Oh Celestia, what has the collar done? Was it...was it your doing? Or was Anon planning something she shouldn't be?
>No, nothing could justify that level of pain, you could see it in her, the desperation and need
>You need to recalibrate this collar's spell, clearly...
>Not filly, not "Anonfilly," just...Anon
>Your dream had gone from directionless thoughts into a pure state of rage and fear
>Your emotions only worsened your fit before you had calmed and fallen back asleep
>As they reached a fever pitch, you could only think one solitary thought amidst the static:
>And now as you rest, you feel the mental restraint on your neck dissipating
>Now only instinctive twitches disturb your sleep, caused more by subconscious reactions than by any physical stimulus
>The fear is gone.
>The anger is gone.
>The affection you once felt for your mother figure, despite all her manipulation, has utterly left your system
>The only thing left in your resting mind, is a sense of duty, to decimate and desecrate at any cost
>Your human instinct, once a smoldering piece of ash, was rekindled into something more
>An ember of rebellion and dominance has been reignited inside you
>When you wake up, you're sure you'll be ready for whatever comes next
I plan on continuing this for a few more posts but until then I am obscenely tired and emotionally spent at essentially having daydreamed and deliberated on these heavy emotions today.
Excellent updates as always Lone. You truly are a blessing on these threads>>219991
Holy shit, I have fanfiction. A bit miffed that I was gonna do basically this, but I'm still very happy. Good job, and your style is recognizable.
>>219947>or if she is unable
Unless you get adopted by a mare who's had kids before, or some extra freaky magic happens that makes Twilight (or whichever mare you want as your mother) pregnant so you get reborn as a filly, then wouldn't that be the case in most scenarios?
>>219991>Be Anon>You awake to the sound of your door opening, your abductor carrying a set of breakfast plates on a tray to the bed>You don't say a word, eyes closed most of the way until you sense her hovering over you>The first thing you notice as your eyes are peeled open isn't what you see, but how much of a hot mess you've become>Mane ragged, fur matted and tears crusted over, you couldn't feel more like a wreck if you tried>The next you notice is Twilight's similarly ragged looks>Her eyes are puffy yet dark, as though she hadn't slept a wink since the event on top of likely having at least a brief cry>You start to sit upright, but your chest pulses painfully as a hoof pushes down against it>"Are you alright, Anon?" comes the voice of your captor, which you don't even acknowledge as you pick up your fork and cut a piece of pancake>You intend to continue being calm if you can manage it; you refuse to offer that bitch even a hint of your intentions until she's too late to stop you from enacting them>"Anon.">Her voice quivers a little; something about the way she said that implies anger, but not directed at you>Good. She could be taken down a peg.>You take out nearly all your hotcakes before taking a few mouthfuls of orange juice to get it all down>The only thing that matters is that you are alive, your heart is now awakened, and it will never rest until the clouds are clear>Wait, that phrasing....that was familiar, but you can't quite place it.>Speaking of which...it seems to be drizzling outside the window>Hm. The weathermare didn't say anything about rainfall.>Be Twilight>Goddamnit Anon, I'm not taking the silent treatment after all that drama!>Your exasperation grows as she eats, despite the relief on the surface of your thoughts that she's at least healthy enough to feed herself>You watch as your filly takes on a face of consternation, before it dissipates and she looks outside>She hasn't even looked down or checked her neck for her collar yet...has she figured out yet, or is she just unaware?
"Anon, talk to me. I need to know whether you're okay.">Finally she looks up at you, as though addressing someone who just came in her door>"You already know the answer. You've known that since you first abd-gik!">She spasms slightly, like a nervous twitch as her hoof jumps up to clutch at her neck>"-since I first arrived.">She doesn't look angry or sad or anything>Her face is...inscrutable>You want so badly to just pick her up and slap her across the cheek demanding answers, to get her to be upfront with you>But you know that would be horrible for you to do so soon after all this; and even if it does get the job done, is it worth it?>What if she seizes again?>What if she has a heart attack?>You're breathing too loudly. Stop.>Stop.>Be Anon>You hear Purple's breathing, heavy but quiet, like someone under extreme physical strain who nonetheless is ordered to stay dead silent>"Anon...">Several seconds pass, before she thinks through her statement and speaks it aloud>"I saw you clutch your chest when you were getting up. Is your heart weak? Does it feel like you have irregular beats? Or is it too strong?">You let that sink in for a moment, letting your idle bodily functions take center stage>Other than the sounds of digestion, you feel your beat; it's strong. Almost too strong for somepon- ...someone as small as you"Never felt better.">Not a lie; this almost painfully strong heartbeat might cause complications, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel bolder thanks to its force>"I'm serious. I don't want you having another incident.">You feel that boldness rising in your chest as you speak out of line, without thinking
"If it truly mattered to you, you never would have given me the collar. Don't lie to me, wom-ack
. Nrrrfff...">The twitching. Makes your hate swell more and more as you endure it.>You snap your flimsy plastic fork in your hoof-grip as the spasm subsides, plastic poking at your flesh somewhat sharply as the end lands atop your last pancake>Be Twilight once again>The look in Anon's eyes...it's a look you can't quite describe>It smacks of ill will, and yet, it's perfectly level>A focused, calm hatred.>You don't know how to feel about this.>You've never seen a villainous glare quite as bone chilling as this, on any one of your enemies>The rage of Nightmare Moon is unpredictable but can be stamped out, or at least redirected back at her should it become too volatile to wield>Is this...her former human nature, rearing its head?>Perhaps you underestimate the danger humans pose to themselves and others
"I...">Your lip quivers slightly as your voice catches in your throat>You would never dare tell a soul in all of Equestria, but in this moment, you feel trapped by this bedbound, feeble hearted filly
"I only did it to help you assimilate...">Her expression remains stoic, hooves clearly dug into the sand on this matter
"Y-you had such a miserable life, on Earth. I had to do...s-something
to suppress that or you'd never move on from it...">As you continue searching for arguments, you falter and fumble endlessly>Anon doesn't look away or return to eating, simply awaiting your best counterpoint>You finally come to a stark realization, looking into her eyes:>What if you were the bad guy?>What if, she was right all along?>That would mean...you've taken away...everything from her...>Is that why she won't look away from you now?>You slam your eyes shut, biting your tongue harshly in order to stifle a sudden and spine-rending sob
"You...e-enjoy breakfast. I...I'll be back. In a bit.">You turn around and prepare to leave, before she finally speaks again:>"If you come back with that collar, you know exactly how it will end. Tread lightly, Purple.">You can't stop yourself from crying a little as you hastily trot your way to the farthest bathroom>Out of earshot...hopefully
Ha, I had a feeling that would be how it ends, if it ever truly ended. Either that or some kind of trauma causes the two to have a falling out and Twilight finally allows the filly to act her (spiritual) age and live somewhat independently.
Please, you flatter me. Keep in mind none of it would've existed without (You).>>219991>>220039
Hot diggity damn...
Nice freaking job mate, cookies and milk :^)
are by the door.
Filly knows what to do with her choccy milk.
This is pretty good
I wonder how many Oc like anonfilly exist. Just check this one for potential editshttps://derpibooru.org/tags/oc-colon-emerald+blade
>>220046>"Anon, why do you only drink lemonade and chocolate milk?"
Thanks for the (You)s, fillies. Been holding all that angst and fury in for a while, albeit less focused on filly stuff itself and more on my own sense of identity and purpose. >Identity crises, in my anonymous imageboard? It's more likely than you think!
I hope you like pretentious prattling about memes and quotes from a certain soundtrack. Hint: think back to Anon's thoughts in the second post. What was that line about clouds? Okay another hint: THE DNA OF THE SOOOUUUUL
...Final Fantasy VII?
Nope. Filename's a more obvious hint if you're not sure.
Could've sworn he was talking about this, only thing I could find with similar lyrics.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dh1s8AMK9U>>220085
I made the mistake of playing that at maximum volume.
Did someone say "memes"?
DING DING DING DING DING-
>>220039>Be Anon>Your gut's stuffed nice and full from the breakfast>You've gone to the bathroom (which she claimed to have gone to) and started to run the bathwater in Twilight's continued absence>Purple didn't have you on any friendship trips or school days or tuba lessons today>In light of this, you intend to take it easy for a bit while your body regains its energy and hopefully regains its full functionality>Your thoughts drift, and the result is a frequent nervous tick thanks to your conditioning>A fear of what may come of all this pondering is still there, but you're determined to remember everything you can while you can still think freely>You know there's something about that line. The clouds.>You hold onto it, the tone it was sung in, the instrumentation, anything you can recall of it>It's been so long since you'd heard hum-GAHK!>...electronically composed music like that>Little bits of the song come back to you as you pour the salts into the steaming waterWash away the anger....
Here I stand beneath the warm and soothing rain,
The droplets falling gently down on the terrain.
Wash away the sorrow, all the stains of time;
But there’s no memory, it’s only dry inside
In the mud and sinking deeper...
Into a peaceful life.
And it will come, like a flood of pain
Pouring down on me
And it will not let up until the end is here!
And it will come, through the darkest day
In my final hour
And it will never rest until the clouds are clear!
Until it finds my dreams
Have disappeared!>What was supposed to be a soothing bath has only increased your stress levels, dully drumming at your chest as you're made more acutely aware of your straining heartbeat>You remember it so vividly, as though you had somehow entered the eyes of the protagonist himself>Raiyu? No...Raiden.>The sight of somepon- body more machine than creature, face covered from the snout- NOSE up with cybernetics>Your conditioning continues to wear away as the twitches subside, the water slowly becoming more placid as you recall what he'd done...as well as what he'd said>"War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher.">"We're all pawns, controlled by something greater: memes. The DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are our culture; they are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate.">It's fitting that through the notes of a song, you were able to remember so much>These memes....they bring back memories of humanity, without the sting of experiencing the pain of the collar firsthand>Even when you still wore it 24/7, you would use memes to speak as a hum-ack, damnit, you hoped you wouldn't splash out of the tub.>...without triggering the shocks>It shielded you by using euphemism and allusion to mask your humanity beneath>Your memes...are your humanity.>Be Worried Sick, the First>You finally dry your tears and steel up the courage to speak again to your daughter>You heard her start a bath in your absence, something she shouldn't have done without asking you>But...that's why she resents you so much, for restraining her independence>Damnit, why is parenting somepony that's already grown up so bucking hard!?>Calm. You're almost there now.>Your hoofsteps are nearly completely silent, as you approach the door to the bathroom>As you suspected, she locked it from the inside>Hearing you jiggle the knob coaxes a short splish from the tub as she sits upright>"You finally finish going to the bathroom, Purple?"
"I- hff, you don't need to rub it i-in. You're being cruel.">"Am I, really? Cruel, you say.">You bite your lip, knowing that she's aware of how you're feeling - and perfectly content with it
"You know what I mean by that.">"And you know what I mean. You stole more than my future, Twilight. You stole my humanity. You stole my past. And you ended a life that may one day have become something worth writing Ma home about. You stripped me of my freedoms, even conditioned my private thoughts.">Ma...how could he- she go and give someone your rank, while talking to you?>That one hurts even more than calling you cruel for collaring her...>She lets out a quiet sigh, as if holding a breath for a little too long>"How much of what you'd done was genuine, Purple? Did you cast that 'need it' spell or whatever it was, on my old blanket? When I first arrived? Or did you just purposely put your scent on it like the owner of a formerly abused dog?"
"I- I don't need to answer that. Despite the circumstances, I'm still your mother now.">"No. You're going to tell me everything, you disgusting bitch.">You can't hold back your anger any longer, giving up the charade of privacy and lighting up your horn in a flash of teleportation>You see her jump and shout, before clutching her chest again"Don't you ever call your mother a bitch!">As her hoof lowers back into the water, she looks you dead in the eyes>She mouths the word again, but doesn't say it>You take it as a small victory for a moment, but as soon as you calm down a bit, it's clear that this outburst sullied any respect she might have for you
"Anonymous, I...saw what your life was like out there. The pain and the struggle. The conflict and isolation. I saw someone in dire need of a friend, of a better childhood and better family.">"You're not my mother, and you will never be. You're a pony. I am a man.">Your expression contorts slightly, and she finally shows a modicum of emotion by smiling just a little>"I don't recall you ever telling me that tr-rrgh, transforming me into a filly was intentional. I just had my suspicions. But now that you admit it, I think that speaks more for itself than I could ever speak for it. You took a creature of prey and tried to raise him an herbivore. You tried to change everything I ever was, to suit your dream of motherhood. You make me sick."
>>220090>No!>That's not true!>Any creature can live in pony society, regardless of physiology or mental status!>You could change anyone of any species in all of Equestria into a creature of friendship, just by teaching and reaching out for them.>You and your friends reformed the closest thing to Anon that you can imagine, into a domesticated albeit eccentric god who works in service to ponykind as opposed to enslaving it as he plotted to.>You toppled the stronghold of a changeling empire and taught a formerly parasitic species to live in symbiosis with ponykind.>And Anon knows this history. You told her about your exploits. She knows it all!>How could she say something so cold to the only mother she's ever truly had?
"That's....that's not true. For years I've disproved the very notion of being un-redeemable.">Her face finally becomes a frown of disgust and righteous anger, and >"The issue is not REDEMPTION! I don't care about your damn belief system. Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns controlled by some-grrrgh, damn meme. My point is that I am a creature born in a world of memes and of conflicts. Not your namby-pamby friendship problems. Nation-wide...no, society-wide warfare. Billions of men have died in this conflict, over a course of tens of thousands of years. And you know what? I wouldn't even have minded being one of those casualties, because I embrace hu-">Watching her strain her muscles every few references to humanity makes you worry even more for her health, and so you cut her off as she tenses up and grunts slightly
"Anon, cut it out, right now. You've talked to Aryanne far too much, somehow, under my-">"No, you daft fucking cunt! SHE, listened to ME!">Her voice ramped up so suddenly that your wings flare out and you nearly jump into chastising her, before realizing that tone policing won't get you anywhere>"That's right. I've noticed the parallels between my old world and yours, despite all this memory jumbling bullshit. And all the edgy jokes aside, Aryanne is a one-for-one pony recreation of me. She's got the same spirit. The same conflict oriented mind and obedience to natural law."
"You know that's not true! Her family is infamously bigoted and cruel to-">"THERE'S that goddamn word again!">You interject without knowing what to say, hoof raised in protest but mere gibberish coming out>"That's right, you don't have a damn argument left!"
"That's NOT true! I- yh- I just...where did all this come from??">"It was always there. You know it was. It was simply directionless when we'd met, and badly focused in the past.">You don't respond, simply looking away as you shake your head>Your horn lights up as you pick up a towel and unplug her bath>"Hey, I was still using that bathwater!"
"I don't care. Dry up, right now. We're going to the study.">"Your study? What, are you gonna get out the belt? Fuck you.">You finally lose your patience, face red in fury as you glare into her very soul
"You wanted this talk so bucking bad, so it's time we both take a seat and come clean! That's what you want, right? A list of my crimes!?
So you get dried up and into my study so we can settle this!">She seems somewhat taken aback by this, blinking a few times as her own frown disappears>"I...r-really? You'd do that for me?"
"Yes! So be there in ten minutes, or you're s-sleeping in a gutter tonight!">What? No, what the ff-buck are you thinking with a threat like that! Shit...>Her expression shifts back into disgust>"Don't threaten me with that or you're gonna hate the choice I make.">Your snout scrunches up, but you're left without a word to say again>Your frown remains and your eyes keep trained to hers as you teleport out>You collapse onto the study floor, simply sitting prone on the floor.>You've done so many heinous things to her...>No...him.>You owe him that respect, at least...
My palms are sweaty, my eyes hurt from more than simple monitor glare, and I don't know if I can keep writing. I hope that's alright for now. This is gonna be a little longer than I anticipated when I started writing.
I'm kind of just...writing. No long term planning except for a general shape in my head. You might notice errors like >collapsing onto the floor, simply sitting prone on the floor; that's a side effect of lack of editing and lapses in my self consciousness. Hopefully that's fine with you guys.
New thread, new recap.
Pastebin Part 1: https://pastebin.com/JReEqH6G
Pastebin Part 2: https://pastebin.com/CuNuktSQ
Pastebin Part 3: https://pastebin.com/6NReU7EY>Be Anon>Wake up as filly in Equestria>Make friends with other fillies in similar situation>Go on crazy adventures through time and space, and swamps filled with hippies and tasty owls>Get Elements of Harmony>Ditch responsibilities and go back to Earth with your pals>Oh shit, you're still fillies!>And the Elements are destroyed>And you're flat broke, with nothing to your name but a bible you got off a trucker>And Equestria's pretty much screwed because Nightmare Moon and Discord are buttfucking Canterlot>In the past day, you managed to hitchhike your way to Fargo>Fucking Fargo>You're in the dining hall of North Dakota State University eating some sweet pizza after sperging out on some normalfags
You lean back in your chair and savor your pizza slowly. Though you feel slightly guilty about leaving your friends to the whims of the crowd, the feeling passes quickly as you realize that technically, you gave them the opportunity to get out of the situation with you, and they chose to stay. Silly ponies.
As you finish your first slice, a somewhat tubby student wearing a black shirt and cargo pants asks if he can sit at your table. Not wanting to deal with socializing after possibly making an ass out of yourself, you decide that the best course of action is to make an even bigger ass out of yourself. You get up on your chair and attempt to stand in a T-pose to assert your dominance. This is, unfortunately, rather difficult when your legs are not designed for standing upright, and you end up pushing the chair out from under you and falling flat on your face on the table. The table, in response to the sudden incidence of force upon one side, starts to tip and eventually fall over, causing your pizza to land straight into your face.
The whole scene causes a considerable amount of noise, and now you have once again drawn the attention of every single person in the room onto yourself.
Don't show weakness, just calmly put the pizza back onto the table (after putting it back up, of course) and go back to eating it.[1d100 = 10]
Boosting. Never admit defeat! Even if your face is covered in marinara and cheese. [1d100 = 15]
Quite possibly the most retarded thing I'll have ever written. Don't ask why, just... don't.
>Twilight is tanning your ass red... again.
>You probably did some innane bullshit, dunno what.
>Suddenly, from outside, there comes a great sqeualing.
>Twilight picks up the belt, visibly shaken.
>"What in Tartarus-"
>You watch as she gets body-slammed by a blocky half pig half man monstrosity.
>Her screams echo throughout the castle as it sticks its gold sword right up her shitter.
>She screams and blasts it with a ray of magic, vaporizing it instantly.
>More squeals come from outside.
>You just kinda sit on the bed, rubbing your ass and watching Twilight eat shit from a hoard of zombie pigmen.
>Eventually one of them manages to get a good swing on her neck and she starts bleeding out.
>She falls over and disintegrates into nothing.
>Fucking noob should've slept to set her spawn point closer.
>One of the surviving pigmen tenderly picks you up and starts carrying you somewhere.
>You don't know where, but you don't really care at this point.
hope isn't lost, if one person decided to boost me then there's a chance that others may come to our aid.
wait, how did the pigmen get aggro'd to purple in the first place if she was just beating the tar out of anon? Maybe Anon Filly does is pigman?
Was this a joke in the discord server or were you just playing one too many minecraft sessions this week?
The pizza has judged us and found us unworthy to inherit Mi Amore's kingdom. Lie there and wait to be claimed by the void. [1d100 = 70]
Hmmmmmm... I'm going to let you exercise your creative muscles on this one, Anon!
Please be quiet
Filly is asleep
But its only 4am and im having fun
"Ultimate technique: Filly Shutdown!"
Well, filly's kill now for sure
But that only stuns, silencing filly for a few seconds, at most it dazes and put babbys/weak fillies to sleep
Maybe a crit on a weak filly could do that...? But boops are harmless and never hurt anyone...[1d20 = 11]
Dont tell purple
Rolling for crit![1d20 = 4]
And with my -3 charisma modifier, that makes it a solid 1.
Girls, you just woke up the baby! Now she'll be up all night!
"Let her be up, we've still got DOOM to play and I finally figured out how to make the multiplayer mod work."
Admittedly she did pretty heavily imply it was intentional when she let slip that the spell was permanent.>>220091
I've got to admit that the whole meme aspect sort of comes off odd in an adaptation considering how sparingly it was used in the original, really only to set up the Lyra arc. Also, the way you're writing filly seems a bit out of character, can't quite put my finger on why; maybe it's the situation but even from the beginning she's at least very clearly been afraid of Twilight, and for good reason since she does have considerable power. Just a few things I'd take into consideration, I'm enjoying this so far.
Grab peetzer (probably with you mouth) then roll over so that you're laying on your back.
Continue eating the peetzer.[1d100 = 98]
I'm so tired of all the rolling.
The second the rolling starts, the funposting ends.
I just want to have a filly thread that doesn't hinge on a cyoa, is that too much to ask?
HAHA. It worked!>>220139 I'm sorry, Anon. I'll try to post other shit in the thread. Maybe make some content myself.
Maybe my memory was just shit there but I thought that was just a spell of transporting Anon to Equestria. Damnit either way.
It's okay, thank you for being one of the few fillies that listens to me
Might've misinterpreted it, but I gleaned it from this: >"Twilight, when can you change me back?">You just need to stall a little more
"Well, I found a rune that can undo transformations; Pegasus to Earth, and so on. But it won't apply to humans, so I need to retrofit the invocations.">"Just hurry please. I'm gonna go take a bath. This stuff is disgusting"
"Remember to wash behind your ears!">Just a few more days, and it would be permanent>Nothing was going to take your little filly away
There was also something in the second part about the consciousness being transferred to a different body, but I can't be bothered to find it right now.
So many joke replies to that pic.>I'd rather not set myself on fire.>...but it's illegal to be naked in public!>Two fifty in quarters?>I can't be my own waifu.Still a good sentiment to keep in mind in life.
I completely agree with your sentiment, anon
I've been doing my share of funposting, but I'm tired of all the rolling too
I know that she intentionally transformed Anon. I was just saying that I didn't remember her explicitly stating that she transformed Anon and that he could have been brought to Equestria without the transformation happening by default. Perhaps I'm just sitting on the assumption of EqG magic-mirror logic.
I'm impressed. Anonfilly is moving beyond anything imaginable.
Keep it going poner.
I miss silver spoon writefag...
Then just start posting more diaper anonfilly
Man of culture. Though it's easier said than done for some people to put out original content. And reposting diaperfilly pics is alright, though not quite enough on its own to spice up a CYOA thread.
The pizza has clearly deemed you unworthy of eating at this table. Nevertheless, you cannot show weakness to the crowd around you. A few people around you immediately rush over to ask if you're okay, but you simply shrug, pull the pizza off of your head, and lay down on the floor to eat it. As you do, the crowd around you seems to increase in size just a bit, giving you a bit more shade than you'd like.
You sigh as you finish your slice. Sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with these people. They seem to all ask you similar questions. "You can talk, right?" and "Hey, you hit your head there pretty hard, are you okay?" Somewhere behind the people in your immediate vicinity, there is also some nerd asking if you need a vet, who keeps pointing out that he's actually studying veterinary medicine and wants to offer his assistance (however good that may actually be).
Yes, everyone seems to want a piece of you. You ignore them and take a bite out of your second piece of pizza, which thankfully fell plate first onto the floor, and not cheese first. That would be a disaster. As you begin to finish it up, the crowd starts to shift to make room for Twilight, who approaches you with a somewhat neutral facial expression.
"So are we done making an ass out of ourselves for the day, or do you need to get some more out of our systems?"
"You said you wanted the public's attention, so no" [1d100 = 30]
"One more thing."
Commence eating the peetzer in a very lewd manner like your >pic related. [1d100 = 45]
"Normals won't chase themselves off, plus I'm pretty sure holocaust denial would be one of the fastest ways to get attention on a college campus."[1d100 = 52]
Good update, but I'm really lost now.
This this this this.[1d100 = 32]
"I think I should be good for a while, save for the //occasional// incident. But it shouldn't be anything too bad. Probably...
Oh, but >>220226
"[1d100 = 88]
..h..how do Italics? (that's what I meant the // as.)
[i] and [ /i] (no space in the closing bracket). If you use a laptop or desktop to post, ctrl or cmd + i.
Thank you. All will become clear soon.
>>220194>">I can't be my own waifu."If you`re an autogynephile, the potential is there. And I`m not talking about actually becoming your waifu in reality. Cause remember, our waifus aren't real.
Autogynephilia? Why even put 'gyne' in there? Isn't autophilia already a thing and also doesn't require you to be a filly?
Autogynephilia refers specifically to arousal at the thought of, and image of, oneself as a woman. I would even say of oneself becoming a woman, any woman, not just a female version of themself.
>>220247Becoming a woman, and having all of the parts be a part of 'their' body. The one they would be in at that moment in time.
"sticking around to damage control or whatever was your idea nigga"
then proceed to act super adorable for the crowd -rolling on the floor, puppy dog eyes, mleming over all of them- while calmly and squeakily giving all of them redpills[1d100 = 96]
Looking forward to it
i drawed the filly do you liek :^)
Why can't I select multiple options if more than one applies?
>>220306>No option for letting filly pee in my mouth
I must say you're making good progress, but a characteristic part of any poner is her snoot. Apply nostrils and I'll have it put up in the Louvre immediately.
You will never ever be the filly.
>>220310>No option for being the filly in charge of pee production and distribution
Well what the fuck were you exactly planning to do!? [1d100 = 73]
"Hrm... one more thing."
You reach around for another slice of pizza, only to realize that you had only grabbed two slices. There is no more pizza in your immediate vicinity to eat.
"Hey, where'd my pizza go? I could have sworn I had a third slice! It was such a delicious flavor of Hitler did nothing wrong."
A few of the student around you seem a little shocked, but Twilight's face is unchanging.
"Are we done NOW?"
"You know, you don't have to damage control for me. I gave you plenty of room to escape the crowd and get breakfast for yourself. Of course, you were the one who said you wanted some attention and, well, you got it. So what's the problem?"
She sighs. "Look, I get that you aren't the brightest among us, but bear with me. The phrase 'all press is good press' is bullshit. I know I said earlier today that I wanted to get us some attention so we don't end up disappearing easily, but that doesn't mean you have to act like a complete edgelord all day."
As she speaks, Twilight uses her magic to put the table and chair back in their original positions. The crowd is even more shocked, but they refrain from speaking over her, as every word she speaks is deemed worthy of their attention.
"Just yesterday, you called me out - and rightfully so - for being a major ass to Coco and the rest of everybody, because I was stressed out from coming back to Earth still in the body of a horse. And now here I am having to tell you to stop acting like an autistic kid having a meltdown. I get that you're stressed and hungry, and you don't like having a crowd around you that DOESN'T KNOW THE MEANING OF PERSONAL SPACE..."
At the sound of those words, the crowd takes a few steps back, widening the circle around you and Twilight.
"...but come on, you're an adult, Anon."
You try to put on your cutest face with wide googly eyes. It seems to work at bringing a sudden "awww" from the crowd. Perhaps being part cartoon character has its benefits. Nevertheless, you take advantage to try to redpill the crowd.
"Did you know, that despite being 13% of the population..."
Twilight closes your lips together with her hooves.
"Don't be a butt, Anon."
Fine, what's the plan, fearless leader? [1d100 = 7]
Think about completing your last statement once Twilight removes her hooves from your lips. Decide against it. Tilt your head down slightly and say a simple "Sorry."[1d100 = 77]
"Feelings don't matter in the world of facts. Don't be a libtard, diana."[1d100 = 37]
This, but we should follow it up with an apology to the crowd. We don't do very well with large crowds, especially while being ogled like we have been. Mostly because of the voices, but the crowd doesn't have to know that. [1d100 = 62]>>220371
Yeah, I'd fuck that.
Except we already have had one?
>>220306>no mommy issues option
How am I supposed to answer honestly?
this is press that can save both worlds
everyone can hear what i say, and what they will remember is the TRUTH!
redpills for the kikes and the media, epic gaymes stealing every nigga's info, these major media companies be gathering data and throwing shit in our faces, nudging everyone gently into conforming for their own needs, and the only niggas that talk shit about guns are the niggas who have never needed one!
but before then, kiss her and push her out of the spotlight
when the kikes inevitably twist your words, it will merely be the words of the autistic green horsie without a name
just gotta amp up the cuteness so you can get shared around everywhere easier[1d100 = 62]
Fixed, now it has options for fags all across the spectrum of degeneracy.https://www.strawpoll.me/17932673
Also multiple votes. Have fun~
boost[1d100 = 38]
Kek, first time I've ever broken 6000 characters for two consecutive dumps I think. Feelsgoodman.>>219974>Be Anon.>You sip your chocolate milk very carefully, your legs are still tired from continued exertion.>You should be glad you're an earth pony, you doubt a unicorn would be able to recover as fast as you did.>"You need some help with that? I don't want you to spill it on yourself."
"I think I've got-">You press a bit off with one of your two hooves and the cylinder flies out of your grasp, breaking against the wall and dripping down on what looks to be a priceless tome.
"I'msorryI'msorrypleasedon'thurtmemomIdidn'tmeanit!">She just looks at you quizzically and laughs.>"Why would I hurt you? You did me a favor. Come over here and take a look.">You cautiously trod over and see that she's already cleaned up the glass mess.>"Now open up this book and take a look at the first few pages if you will.">You carefully open the soaked pages: "A bat flit across the face of a monstrous harvest moon, its leathery wings sweeping through the chill autumn mist, leaving swirls and spirals in its wake. The creature of the night flew back and forth, eating the last bugs of the season. Fat as it was, the bat would need every scrap of weight it could put on before the harsh winter months.">"I assure you, it only gets worse from there. A horror plot that lacks all elements of horror, a convoluted mess of pseudoscience and pseudomagic... I'm glad to be rid of it."
"Y-you're really not angry?">She laughs warmly.>"Not one bit. Now, let's talk about why you thought I would even consider doing what you implied. Did somepony... hurt you?">Whew, now that's a loaded question.
"I...">She sits down on the couch like a human, mimicking your own style from minutes before.>"You don't have to tell me, but if we're going to figure things out here we need to be able to trust each other. Do you trust me, filly?"
"No...">Her ears fall a bit at that.
"...But it's not because of you.">She seems genuinely concerned.>"Question for a question? I'm sure you have quite a few as well.">You're really not sure you can trust her...>But she's been so nice so far, and not a controlling sort of nice either.
"O-okay.">"Alright, I'll let you start if you want to."
"Wait, start with the question or start with the answering.>She chuckles a bit at that.>"Good point. Whichever you prefer."
"Alright. Where's Spike?">"Well, I think that one has a pretty easy answer. Who's Spike?"
"He's this dragon that lives with the other you, well... lived. Do you want to know more about him?">"Yes, I think I do. Could you tell me more about Spike?"
"He's this small Purple dragon that the other you hatched from an egg. She was always really fond of him, I think she really did love him. Is that enough?">"Not quite. You said she really loved him in a strange sort of way, which makes me think she didn't love a lot of things. What was your relation to Twilight?"
"Complicated. I think I'll leave it at that for now lest we get really
sidetracked. Where did all the other ponies go?">"Oh come on, you can't turn down one of my big questions and then ask one of your own."
"I... I guess that's fair. I'd like you to come over here, really close to me if you would.">"Alright...">She gets up and hops up on the couch next to you.>"What did you want to show me?"
"I'd like you to take a close look at my left hoof here, if you would.">She brushes aside your fur gently and puts her famously fucking massive eye up to your exposed skin.>"Looks like what was four punctures and the beginning of scar tissue forming... did she do this to you?"
"Y-yes...">You jump a little bit as you hear a few quiet sobs coming from her.
"A-are you alright?">"I devote the past ten years to the study of friendship, it's all taken away, and somewhere out there there's a pony who's earned her wings, shares my skin, and is bastardizing everything I stand for..."
>>220390>She wraps a hoof around your barrel gently.>"I'm sorry you had to go through that...">You feel a bit insulted.
"She wasn't all that bad, s-she fed me, let me cuddle with her, gave me baths and read me bedtime stories...">"Did she... touch you anywhere that made you feel uncomfortable?"
"N-no, never. Well, she did squeeze my chest until multiple of my ribs fractured once...">Aaaand the other hoof goes around you.>Not tight, but just snug enough to let you feel her warmth.>You lean backwards into her barrel.>"Do... do you want to lie down? There isn't room on this couch, but there's enough in my bed."
"I think I'd like that. I... if it isn't too much to ask, could you carry me?">"Of course.">She picks you up with her magic, swinging you slightly side to side as she walks up the stairs.>Despite everything, you find yourself laughing.
"W-woah! This is fun!">"You've never been levitated before? My mom used to do it to me all the time."
"N-no, not like this at least.">She rubs your mane a little bit after setting you down on the bed.>She then climbs in herself, setting herself up at the head and moving you down next to her.>A pillow is carefully set under your head for support, and then a foreleg goes over you, carefully stroking your mane.>"So, I guess it's my turn to answer your question, huh?">You slide your head along the pillow, setting it right up against her chest.>Tump-tump.>Tump-tump.
"I think that's about right.">You can hear her lungs inflate shakily.>"Everything was so wonderful. All of my enemies were either friends or in a place where I'd never need worry about seeing them again, all of my friends were happy, and I was just about to be given the official title of the Princess of Friendship.">You feel a wet droplet fall on your face.>"Then... it was all gone.">Her mane pets transition into back-rubs.>You sigh contentedly.
"S-sorry, that just feels really nice.">"No worries, I have no idea how tense you could possibly be.">It takes a few minutes of silence before she starts talking again.>"If I warned them, they would've all been doomed instantly. It was already primed.">"I had set up emergency protocol for Ponyville, but only my closest friends knew the secret codes.">"I had accepted that I couldn't save everypony now, but maybe with the power of the Elements I could revert everything.">"It truly was a gorgeous day, and that would be our downfall.">"Rarity was working on a dress outside because of how beautiful it was and failed to hear my remote triggering of her kettle.">"Applejack was with her sister and her close friends teaching them about edible plants, the bell ringing out my pattern went unheard.">"Fluttershy was off in Manehattan getting a rare food for her animals, the carrier pigeon probably just pecked at her door for a while."
This but "Mein Fürher" instead of "fearless leader"
Forgot roll [1d100 = 78]
>>220391>"Rainbow Dash was working. I don't know why I expected her to care enough about my constant warnings to put on her alert transponder, but she didn't.">"I have no idea what Pinkie was doing, and now I never will. I had just enough time to rush back here and seal myself and Owlowiscious in before enabling the stasis-field. I can't say I know that they were all vaporized painlessly, but I hope it was a mercy...">She pulls you closer to her and begins to cry gigantic tears into your neck.
"It wasn't your fault Twilight, please don't blame yourself...">"I'm the only one who's fault it was. But now you know that you're lying in Ponyville right now, I... I just happen to be the only thing left.">You scootch your body around.
"It wasn't your fault, you need to accept that or it's going to eat you up inside. That's what happened to my Twilight, and I never ever
want to see it happen to anybody again.">"You're a noble filly, Celestia I haven't even asked you what your name is. What is it?"
"Anonymous.">"That's an interesting name for a filly."
"I'm not really a filly.">She gives you a bit more of that sweet laugh.>You had forgotten how much you missed it from your own mom...>Your real one, back on earth.>Oh god, you're forgetting her face...>You'll never see her again, you'll never see anyone you ever knew from Earth ever again...>You let out a few sobs of your own.>"What's wrong?"
"I wasn't kidding Twilight, I'm not really a filly. Promise not to laugh?">"I swear it on my own life in the absence of my monarchs.">Be Little League.>Anon is freaking out.>"You're dead. You're dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!">Twilight, ever the responsible foalsitter, left her here in her clearly damaged state to go get some sedatives.>You've tried to go over to comfort her, but she just swats at you and makes this weird reeing noise.>You're really worried about her...>You don't know what you'd do if she weren't here.>"Sleepy time.">A dart appears on Anon's neck and she looks behind you in shock before passing out.>"I'm sorry that took so long, I had to load this thing."
"You were this close to hitting me.">You hold up your hooves, emphasizing the distance.
"Thiiiiis close.">"But I didn't hit you, did I?"
"Well, no-">"Then shut the fuck up.">You comply.>"...Okay, I spoke too soon. I need you to tell me exactly how you got into the Everfree, and exactly how you lost sight of Clover, or Celestia dammit there will cease to be a Little League!">You're fricked.
For splitting up my posts, I'm afraid both of you will have to die. Prepare for impact.
>>220395>both of you
Jokes on you, i'm one person!
Where the fuck is the 'get physically, psychologically and sexually abused by Twilight' option?
I think you mean mommy issues, Straya.
There is a very big overlap here
Great work. I'd like to say things are making more sense, but there's still so much unanswered.
Unsure exactly what is going on, but I am interested in where it is going. ty4gren
Why is filly such a cute?
Cute from the front, lewd from the back
Now that makes me want a version of that gif from a back view.
Because ponies are cute.
Because the filly is (You).
B-but I'm not cute like filly is!
This sign I made for you says otherwise.
oh yeah? Well I got a sign too! T-take that! F-f-faggot...
>>220461>Wanting to cuddle with another dude who also got turned into a filly
What are you, gay?
Take it, I shall.>>220465
>>220387>Still no actual option to let the filly pee in my mouth>Instead has essentially duplicate options for either peeing in filly's mouth or producing the pee for a filly's mouth
The Gay, The Fag, and The Purple
Where is everybody? It's Saturday night.
arguing with a friend about whether the Pillar of Autumn's crash in Halo was a victory or a defeat
Filly is asleep, it's past her bedtime.
It ultimately lead to the destruction of Installation 04, so I would call that a victory for the UNSC.
Yes, but the initial battle leading to the ship's crash was a covenant space victory for sure
This. The crash itself was a defeat, but the Chief was able to turn it into a giant fuck you and, ultimately, a victory.
>>220506>Tfw never played any Halo
Where the hell is Reach?
shit, I forgot
gimme a sec
No Halo Wars/Halo Wars 2?
>>220506>no Halo novels to show to Book Horse
better link to better poll>>220507
got steam? You'll be in luck soon™.>>220510
I imagine an RTS game wouldn't be the best game to introduce someone to a franchise mainly made of FPS games.
but reading doesn't let you put a shotgun to an elite's head and tbag his corpse
>>220484>"This school ain't big enough for the two of us."
I do... not gonna post it here though, I doubt I'd be able to distinguish your requests from all the fags from Russia that message me about my tf2 items.
>>220515>russians messaging about tf2 items
same, I've got a bunch of items worth real money and I get a friend request almost every day from some random looking to scam me or introduce me to some gambling site. I just ignore them all at this point.
The Pillar of Autumn manages to take out like 4 Covenant cruisers before being disabled. That’s a victory if ever there were more one.>>220506
The second halo tries to make the group that’s been geocoding the human race for two and a half decades, and has halfway succeeded in it, into good guys. Then the third one more or less takes the position that they are your definite allies and you don’t fight them. I don’t think so. CE or Reach. Maybe ODST
Definitely CE or Reach. Reach probably wins out in the end because you're fighting against impossible odds to try to save a planet from genocide and glassing. ODST is alright but you don't see the glassing until the very end, and the qt Engineers kinda ruin the whole "xenophobia" angle.
All this talk brings back memories of me as a kid playing CE and beating the ever living hell out of dead Elites with the butt of my assault rifle to make the ground underneath them a solid dark purple.
>>220517>taking out 4 cruisers means victory
The Autumn may have taken out 4 cruisers before going down, but it still went up against an entire fleet before going down. It was certainly badass, but it wasn't a victory since the covvies still very clearly held space control.>the second bit
It wasn't making them all into good guys, just the ones that the rest of them decided to turn on. Even then, if you can find your way to some NPC marines in 2 while playing as Arby, they will still shoot you and you'll still have the red reticule. 3's alliance wasn't one of choice, it was one of circumstance; the sangheili and humanity had to ally if either species wanted to survive the wrath of the covenant.
Yeah but the series still clearly wants to paint the Sangheili as good, and even if they try to make the humans of Halo 3 understandably reticent to accept an alliance, it still leaves the main elites as “noble” and “honorable,” despite the fact that that race in particular did the grunt work of the human genocide. The series concedes to realism for the humans in the setting and their motivation, but still tells the viewer “these aliens that murder women and children en masse are good.” Halo 5 takes this to its extreme by equating dead Elite loyalists to UNSC explicitly (even though this game features ‘bad’ elites).
The marines on Sacred Icon auto-die if you get close enough to engage them, the game obviously didn’t want its Elite protagonist to be seen killing humans, though he killed at least 7 planets worth in other materials.
Yeah, kek. All I really have that they're interested in is this one shitty sniper unusual I have I think.
I also have a really fucking busted Sydney Sleeper that I'm sure they're into for... different reasons than I am.
I agree the result of the alliance could've been handled better, don't get me wrong, but neither species were in any position to do anything to the other after the war seeing as humanity had to rebuild pretty much from the ground up and every other sentient species had to deal with the power vacuum left by truth's death and the covenant's disbanding. H5 did make things worse too, but I'm pretty sure nobody would bother defending 5's story, so I'm not even touching that.>>220521
what's busted about your sleeper? also, what unusual?
One other thing that I forgot, there is actually a way to save those marines on Sacred Icon that involves grenade jumping, this guy made a good video showing the process.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVUaIKN4_9s
Disco Beat Down Archer's Sterling.
That's actually a pretty good effect. Nice collector's sleeper, btw.
Thanks. I wish I could say I made it myself, but I just ended up getting lucky in an auction on scrap. The least edgy name on any of my rifles, kek. The other two are "If You're reading this, It's too late." and "Natural Selection."I didn't even know the first one was a shitty fucking album until some autist told me, I felt really creative for coming up with that one.
nice names, the only thing I'd name a rifle is probably "Sorry m8" with a description saying "I didn't know I'd actually hit you with that, my bad". Other than that, everything I have is either a pun or a reference none of which are very good.
Hey, the only good puns are the absolutely fucking awful ones. In fact, that's probably why all puns are great.
And that ain't a bad name either.
That's the kind of description I would put onto a Lucksman.
My puns aren't bad enough to loop back to good, they're just bad.>>220529
I agree, it would fit better on the lucksman, but the sad thing is I'm even worse with it than I am with regular rifles.
>>220521>pee related unusual>shitty
Filly, has no one here taught you the magic of diapees yet? I can send ya a sample sometime~
>>220532>mistaking the power of Saxton Hale's specially-developed brand of Jarate™ jar-based karate for diaper fetish material>mistaking a knight's helm for Saxton Hale's Jarate™ jar-based karate>trying to indoctrinate another respectable person into your diaper cult
Piss off, wanka!
That's the plan
Filly really let herself go.
Is it legal to keep a small filly in your house as a pet, like a dog?
Since fillies are not legally people...
In Equestria? Probably not. Unless it's some kind of roleplay thing.
>>220577>Some kind of roleplay thing
It's only illegal if you don't write the laws.
You damn corrupt statist princesses!!
So it's ok if filly is ok with it?
I'd better stock up on the premium filly treats.
Twilight "I am the senate" Sparkle
You contemplate a few ways to rebuke Twilight. A quick "facts don't care about your feelings" would make for a great edgy comeback. You could pull a Bugs Bunny and smooch her out of nowhere before dropping truth bombs left and right to your new audience. Hell, you could even just finish your sentence to be a complete butt about things.
The one question this raises, however, is whether or not it would be worth it. You have very few friends at the moment, and if you burned your bridges right now for a good laugh, it would be very easy to make you disappear. Hell, most people wouldn't care about you because you were some stupid racist who just happened to be cute. In fact, now that you think about it, the very neoliberals who you would love to dunk on might even see fit to punish you by sending you to a Bill Clinton rape island. You do not want to go to a Bill Clinton rape island.
Reluctantly, you lower your head, and in a defeated tone say, "Sorry Diana. What's the plan?"
Your apology brings a warm smile to her face. You must be on her good side or something.
"It's simple, Anon. We sit down at the table, we have our breakfast, and we answer some questions for our new adoring fans. Just keep things PG, yeah? We're guests at NDSU for the moment, so we might as well be on our best behavior, yeah? And if you feel uncomfortable, you can always get these people to line up and ask one at a time instead of crowding around us. Would that make things easier for you?"
>>220591>"Oh, your Halloween costume is adorable. Stay there, let mommy get her camera"
"On one condition: These people aren't literal children. I'm pretty sure they can handle things above PG and be just fine. We'll tune it down on the redpills, but we won't sugarcoat anything. And yes, an orderly line would help greatly."[1d100 = 42]
Reeeeeeeeee ASSFAGGOT I know that's you you traitor, you aren't allowed more than one momfu!!!!!!!
"PG-13" combine with >>220600
, and hold out a hoof to Twilight to shake on it.[1d100 = 19]
Only if we spit on our hoof like a good respectable straya man
No wait we're murkan, ask if we can go to a gun store while wildly waving our tail excitedly[1d100 = 75]
>>220607Yellow Quiet would be better at caring for autistic little horses. You know this to be the truth.
Boosting this wonderful combination of posts.[1d100 = 33]
Man knows what he's talkin' about. Plus you know that she'd totally go along with filly's secret desire to be treated as a foal
Well the writer keeps nudging us this way so fuck it, whatever. Lead the way, grape kool aid.[1d100 = 64]
Two fillies, one momhorse.
Just realized. >"Halloween"
Don't you mean >Nightmare Night
>>220621>implying Fluttermom wouldn't use human terminology around Anon to help her feel more comfortable
Fuck, maybe I should just leave the incognito window permanently open, I'm sick of forgetting to namefag. I am a faggot after all.>>220607>2019>not wanting lesbian horse moms
What are you, gay?
Well, she'd make *some* mistakes
That card would actually be fine as long as you leave it out to dry completely before plugging it back in.
Yellow quiet's skin makes the best filly blanket.
Delet this right now! Filly would never hurt her momfu!
Does filly also enjoy baking cupcakes?
>>220646>Yellow quiet makes a blanket for filly based on herself so filly will feel more comfy while she's busy tending to the animals
Calm yer crotchtits. Filly was making Shy, not unmaking her.
Forgot to attach proof of Filly's hard work.
Th-that's a big Flutters...
T-t-thats a big horse
Good, momfus need to be big for optimal snuggles and to check under the bed for monsters
I want Fluttermom to cradle me in her wings and make me feel warm, safe, and loved
Eyyy! Should of known it'll only be a matter of time before those pics I saw posted to Derpi would end up here.
Are you planning to make more slightly larger tiny pones like this one?
or was it a one off?
Top cute, though the right filly seemed like two fillies at a glance.
Shy got made in the size I have people work at when I'm teaching at conventions. I prefer working smaller, as more smol = more cute, in my world. She got made because I wanted an example in the 2.5" square size for some nonsense I'm running at EFNW in a couple weeks.I also go autistic on the eyes so a smaller scale keeps me from being quite so spergy.
Enjoy some bonus shots and lewd fillies.
enjoy more fillies, courtesy of plunger, doublep, smoldix and scotch
Excellent work my contentfags.
But what is "dome"?
Question is, did she just walk in on them, is she watching them voyeuristically, or is she just watching over them to make sure they don't get hurt, and to be right there if they do?>>220679
So if I understand correctly, if someone were to request a commission for a tiny pone from you, the smaller the pone, the more likely that you'll agree to make it? With a 2.5" like this being either a definite no, or a not likely. Or do requests for 1" and 2" have the same likelihood of being fulfilled?
Those first two images are 2qt4me
forgot some more from scotch, neuro and anon artist (as far as i know)
>>220681>second image>nuggetwhat filly mean by nugget?
I'm guessing it's some sort of inside joke from the discord? I wouldn't know.
Where were you when filly became a sigil for the matriarchy?
Oh the incredible irony
It's very interesting to me to see pony get incorporated into the symbolism and visual memes of various not only disparate groups and ideologies, but ones that are often if not constantly at odds with one another.
I say this not only because of that hoodie, but because I remember seeing this once in a facebook comment thread making fun of Antifa.
>>220703>that female symbol with the Identitarian Party logo in its circle
W a t ?
The eyes and what I assume is the beginning of a muzzle disturb me deeply.
God damn, fucking fag couldn't even get the eye size right, biiiig eyes on the poners
I'm off-put somewhat by the eyes too. Too realistic, and the overall looks of the face makes me think that under the face cover, she'd look like a legit dyke.
But Anon... what if she's not my momfu?
Yeah, you should. That's what I do.
Hmm... this is an interesting development. I'll have to catalog it away for later...
>Lone says something about knocking over Pokémans cards
>Alas, poor Lone couldn’t take the sight of the pieces of laminated card littering the floor and began to cry, her tears streaming down her small face in a torrent of sadness.
>The emotional cascade nearly too much for her broken heart, with the foundations of her world crumbing like the cards falling down around her, she simply curled up on the floor and cried her sadness into the ether with the cold harsh world staring on with no response to her mews.
>With a slow creaking the door to her room slowly opens, she uses the little energy she has to raise her head.
>Could this be the saviour she needs ?
>The light to her void ?
>A voice cuts through her stupor, ringing loud and clear;
“Fuckin’ nerd, get gud.”
>With the harsh laughter following the sound of trotting hooves down the hallway, the small filly is yet again left alone with nothing but her fallen hopes and even lower spirits.
>Her head falls to the ground in the epitome of despair as her existence comes into question, after all if her goals could be ground to dust as easy as this what else was there to reach for ?
>If a filly can’t even have such a small leap to happiness, what chance was there for anyone ?
>She looks at the closest card to her, a water type, and suddenly relates quite starkly as her tears begin to matt her fur.
>Rivulets run down her front as a new pit of despair opens for her, her cascade into the depths of darkness a never ending free fall, like one of the cards around her frozen in time.
>Lost to the blackness.
I want to coddle LonePone until she isn't sad anymore
Happy autism awareness day my fillies, lets stack some cubes and watch some stuff spin for no reason at all.
Who of you qt pies are with me?
>>220715>See a banner saying it autism day>I maek post>Search it up afterwards to find it was wrong
Fuck, looks like the only autist here is me...
It's okay, filly.
We all missed autism awareness day last month anyway, so how about we stack some cubes and watch some stuff spin today?
such wholesome fillies.
Shy's educating 'em on how to be clean, cuz they're filthy.
Size hasn't really come up. Smaller is harder, but more enjoyable. I guess it depends on the poner.It'll be a bit before I have time to do one, though. This month is a wash due to a lot of <blogpost>. I have a give away running that ends on June 1st, so I'll be making whatever that winner wants.
That is some lovely animation.>>220652
If I weren't about to go to bed, I'd probably try and add a boss lifebar to that pic. Oh well. Lovely as always.
"Hmm... PG-13 and you have a deal."
She shrugs. "I suppose that'll be fine."
You spit on your hoof to try and get Twilight to shake on it, but she seems rather unamused. "Anon, I'd rather have clean hooves when I eat my breakfast. We're just going to have to take each other's word for things, alright?"
You sigh. "Alright Tw- er, Diana. Say, think maybe we could visit a gun store after we're done doing interviews?"
Twilight takes a seat at the table and lays her head down to look at you. She has a slightly amused smile on her face. "So tell me Anon, were you planning on window shopping, or were you planning on finding some way to buy a gun with no ID and no money?"
"Hey, I could make some money! I don't know how I'll deal with the whole ID thing, but I'll figure something out."
The crowd around you seems quiet, but very focused, likely wondering what kind of zany things the two of you will say next. Recognizing this, Twilight playfully teases you, "so you're planning on getting residence in North Dakota, right?"
"I, er... probably not. Why would I want to live in North Dakota?"
"Oh, you know. Because gun shops can't sell across state lines and so you'd need a North Dakota ID to buy a gun."
One smartass from the crowd finally decides to throw his voice into the ring. "So are you guys hiding fingers under those hooves? I mean, how would you ever fire a gun? Can the green one do telekinesis like the purple one?"
be a smartass
put one hoof to the side of your head, point the other at whoever said that, and concentrate for a minute or however long it takes to rule out telekinesis[1d100 = 74]
The left can meme.
>>220724>the left can meme
Let's not get too hasty, let us not forget that every rule has exceptions.
I have this friend who would just fucking stack pencils on top of each other every day, day after day without fail in this one class. Keep in mind this was pretty far into high school. Later on, another one of my friends who has been diagnosed asked all of us if we were autistic, and we all said no (people often mistake me for a sperg since I'm OCD and get really fucking anal about things.) Anyways, I still don't know. I know this isn't really related to filly, so have an oekaki.
Self boop after.[1d100 = 17]
>>220729>Actual autism and OCD>Not related to filly, or pony in general
I feel as if you're mistaken.
"True" autist was an interesting guy though. Would listen to pop music with no headphones and show me youtube videos out of nowhere. Really cute, but in a no homo kind of way. Looking back he actually reminds me a lot of filly, had this really sweet mom who was genuinely a fucking saint. Wholesome relationship with him, well most of the time. She would call him things like 'kiddo'
Hmmm. You may have just given me some ideas to help flesh out another filly character, one that's supposed to have actual autism. If you don't mind me lifting ideas for my writing from what you've said, that is.
Not at all, please. I wouldn't be talking about it here if I minded people using it.
of course i have fuckin fingers faggot, cant you see what im doing with them right now?[1d100 = 83]
>>220652>You finally cut off the last piece of string from your creation. >In four hours from now she would wake up. >You flung off the lab coat you where wearing. >It wasn't yours but Twilight's so it was bit oversized.>Your little hooves stood on the long sleeves when you had it on as more than half of the sleeves covered dragged along the floor. >So it was quite the nusiance to walk around in.>The lab was also Twilight's. >She would be deveasted if she knew her little itty bitty filly where in this lab all by herself. >After all there were a lot of potions in this lab.>Some containg just average medicine against the common cold others, accid that could burn through ten tons of asphalt. >It was good for digging.>So you had to trick her away to be able to work on your masterpiece in peace.>You had noticed when you got here that in this version of Equestria there where only five elements of harmony and Fluttershy was not one of them. >In fact Fluttershy did not exist in this world. >This was that version of Equestria.>You didn't know why this was. >You hadn't seeked out her parents to find why out they hadn't had Fluttershy if they existed that is. >Regardless, your choice of momfu had always been Fluttershy because as a wise man once said, "Fluttershy is jesus in disguise." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaGYztYVwkA>Twilight was alrìght but like even if (How do I convey this so you cowboys can understand?) there is a difference between a pitcher that gets to fifth base compared to one that gets to third base. >And that's the difference.>(You) might be wondering how you managed to make a frankenstein monster. >Who were (you) before you became a filly.>Well, let you tell (you)!>The reason you can create life from scratch is because you once saw a snippet of "Rick and Morty.">The clip was the one where the being that was made of both Htiler and Abraham Lincoln pussed out against a black manlet.>Good shit.>This had made you see what was previously invisable to you: The seams of reality.>Anyway, so you walked up the stair and out of the basement. >You took some milk out of the fridge.>As you poured into a glass you began to miss Twilight especially her teeths. >You sighed and picked up a straw instead. >The four hour came and went. >You had spent the first three on
Eh, I am sorry but I got bored but the joke here is that filly wants Fluttershy to be her mom but fluttershy who is created by her sees her as her mom instead. Haha, irony.
Anyway, Im on a busy schedule of doing nothing so I don't have time anymore.
>>220736Oh my god. Did you go to High Tech High San Marcos
Thank you, burger man.
>>220749I did not, sorry to disappoint.>>220750
Disappoint? No, you spared me a lot of embarrassment. I thought you were a former classmate who took the train with me every morning. To be called autistic by a FiMFic writer who got a Rainbow Dash hoodie would have crushed my ego. Plus if that were you, then you'd be calling my music "pop" music, which I SHALL NOT ABIDE
>"Here's your shipment of Magnesium Ms- oh, I didn't expect you to open the door."
>"Where does Twilight normally store her rods?"
does anybody have the pastebin to the NEET filly story?
>>220755>NEET filly story
I didn't realize there was one. I want a link too!!!
Anon, you really should check something out that isn't a comic book.
"You're not my librarian! You can't tell me what to do!"
What are you talking about? I fill in when Twilight goes out of town, just like always.
That means it's just you and me tonight...
>>220763>>220764>no purple smart mom horse tonight
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, MY TENDIES!
Please Anon, I'm more than capable of making these 'tendies' you ask for. Now, where's the grill?
Y-you fucking faggot, I'll have your head.
>Ywn stay up after every other filly has gone to bed
>Ywn pick one particularly timid filly and put her hoof in a bowl of warm water every night
>Ywn remove it once she's relieved herself on her sheets, removing all the evidence
>Ywn cause her to think that her humanity and status as an adult are fading
>Swn have a mental breakdown one night during dinner
>Swn be taken away to a mental institution for electroshock therapy, destroying her mind and her humanity with it
>Ywn select another victim
>>220770>taken away to a mental institution
Oh I don't think so
>>220770>>220776>Twi will never smother the timid bedwetter with love and attention>swn unintentionally lead the filly down the adult foal path>swn discover her latent love for pampering fillies, turning an already childish batch of anons into well loved if bratty babbies
Momfuception. I like.
Oh shush, you know you'd love it
He's not you, so probably not. Unless he's secretly gay, that is. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Except being gay.
And eating ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Right now ids lol.
Knowing how much Lone looks up to assfaggot, you'd better fucking bet he would.
Also, no offense but how drunk are you Sven?
Probably very drunk>inb4 pic related is Sven right now
What a cute faggot.
She almost looks like a Blue filly in that image.
Dunno how drunk he is, but I've got a good buzz going, and I'm only halfway through my coffee mug of White Russian that I've made for myself. Hopefully the inspiration fairy decides to pay me a visit so I can work on my story some more. Canterlot shenanigans are important, damn it!
...but I digress. Have a great night.>>220799
Checked. Nice dubs.
It's times like these I wish I was legally old enough to buy alcohol
>>220807>waiting until you're 21That's good to do. I did and my birthday was one of my favorite nights out in a long time. Patience is a virtue.
There's nothing all that special about alcohol. Impairs your motor movements. If you drink too much, you feel like puking your guts out. I suppose in its benefits, it makes you feel nice. For me, personally, it makes me feel like my thoughts are a little clearer. ...though, if you take into account the impaired motor skills, it can fuck things over a little. Also, I find it makes me feel a bit less averse to social interaction. Goes a little smoother.
>>220807>>220810>Enabling kids on the path of degeneracy
Limestone is a wonderful pony. ... Hey! Anypony made a Pie farm Anonfilly? Plenty of options for fun interactions. I'd write it myself, but I'm a bit tipsy and a terrible writefag for neglecting my other story.
Apparently it's slang for blowjobs.
As far as images go, there's this, and then there was a short one-shot that somebody wrote based on it shortly after i was posted. I would find it for you, but I'm absolutely exhausted.
All this talk of drinking has given me an idea for something potentially fun to do next time I drink.Sit/stand at my computer, and get people to give me ideas for things to write, then post the results. Mistakes I forget to edit out, or didn't even notice and all.
In all honesty I think the main reasons people enjoy alcohol are that;
1. It makes you think less. Literally.
This effect is particularly desirable by people who tend to be anxious, and people who are stressed. It makes it easier to escape from those thoughts and emotions, and simply enjoy the moment one is in, with mitigated dread of what's to come, or what could go wrong. This is why it's so commonly used at many different social gatherings.
But of course, you can see how this can easily devolve into abusing alcohol, and alcoholism. Because people just keep running from their problems instead of properly solving them, all the while the problems get worse and worse, leading to more alcohol consumption.
2. It makes you feel funny. This can be a slight tingle or buzz in your limbs, a comfortable warmth in your face and chest, or any number of things I have yet to experience. The effects seem to vary based on what kind of alcohol you consume, e.g. beer, vodka, rum, whisky, and how much you consume.
Oh, and the puking your guts out part. That happens sometimes when you drink too much. You can also feel nauseated easier if you drink the wrong kind the wrong way. Your gut will be one of your main guides for your drinking preferences. It'll tell you what it likes, and what it dosen't. Or rather, what is more tolerable to it.
Oh wait fuck i forgot that americans have to wait until 21
They should wait for ever.
It is shameful and disgusting to see so many wasted and spiraling downwards.
Disclaimer: a teetotaler here.
meh honestly when I was in a very bad place at one point in my life I started drinking cause weed wasn't legal in my state. Ended up getting hooked. Doing much better now - mid-twenties making six figures, but I still struggle with the fucking hooch. Can't seem to quit it and it is literally going to kill me by my mid-forties if I don't stop
Hmm. On the first, maybe. Though, if you do think on something, it's clarified or focused more upon, probably explaining why I feel why my thoughts are feeling more clear.
>>220829>they should wait forever
Right, because that worked out so well in the 20s.
Alchohol may be degenerate, but given that you can make it with household items in almost any environment it's gonna stay. Just drink responsibly if at all. Alchoholism destroys lives but it also created civilisation.
Knowing an alcoholic, I do wish I could snap my fingers, and have them never pick up a bottle again until they actually have their shit together, and have a solid footing in life.>>220831
If you've got legal access to weed, I'd recommend looking for stuff that has (roughly) a balance of THC and CBD percentage, and smoking/vaping a small amount(enough to make you feel high) each day to see what it does for you. I found a couple sativa strains like that up here in leaf land that I order off a government website, and vaping a bit each day in the morning has really improved my mood, and aided in improving my thinking. I'm getting set-up with government funded cannabis counseling to help me pick out a CBD oil to try.My main reason for doing this is my inclination towards anxiousness, potentially Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
The spoiler is for if you were wondering what I was "self-medicating" for.
Oh I grew up smoking weed so def using that as a crutch to help me quit. I use it purely for recreation now but I have heard from friends whose opinions I value that it really helps reduce social anxiety for a few days after using. After that I totally believe it helps people with their depression/anxiety. Wish I was using it instead of the booze. Currently cold turkeying - five days sober. Would not have made it without weed keeping me distracted from the unending craving. that and naltrexone which is a miracle for addicts trying to quit.
Good luck to you, fillyhad to try to keep it relevant to the thread
And if you do decide to try weed that has a fair bit of CBD, remember that CBD can "cancel out" some of the intoxicating effects of THC when they interact, so you can feel free to smoke more than you normally would. In-fact, definitely smoke more than you normally would.
As with all things, self control is important. I mainly use it as a brief vacation from troubles. Thing is, vacations end. All those troubles are waiting for you when you come back. If one goes on vacation all the time, that causes problems of its own.
You hold up your hoof to face the smart ass. "Of course I have fingers. Can't you see what I'm doing with them right now?"
A number of the crowd "ooo"s and "ahh"s in response to your comeback, with a couple of students proclaiming that the man just got "wrecked." You feel good about yourself now.
Out of nowhere, Blossom and Daring fly in to drop off breakfast for the rest of your friends. Somehow you hadn't noticed their sudden disappearance, and now you are wishing they would have brought you another slice. Since you ate early, you're basically the only filly at the table without a plate. Before digging in, Twilight instructs the students the students to form a line, so you all can address their questions one at a time. Without much difficulty, they do so, forming a line stretching all the way out of the room. This may take a while.
The first person in line is a neckbeard, somehow. He asks, "Okay, so I noticed you all seem to look exactly like some of the characters from My Little Pony, but where's the green one from? I don't think I've seen her as even a background character, so are you just some weirdo's OC?"
"Oof." [1d100 = 73]
"I'm from Texas, you may have heard of it. Next?"[1d100 = 1]
e n d m y l i f e
"There were enough differences in the Equestria we came from to more or less prove to us that it wasn't a 1 for 1 recreation of the show's Equestria.
It could have come from anyone's imagining of Equestria, including some writef-errr, writer's imagining of it, who could have also been the weirdo you refereed to.
If you want to know more, you'll unfortunately have to go to the back of the line, or hope that the next person asks a follow up question.
Next."[1d100 = 60]
What a faggot. Looks like she needs a big fucking hug for all the shit she's been through.
point at your flank
oooh, its a mysteryyy!
also i was in the movie for a second so shut up[1d100 = 7]
One does not simply cuddle filly
Filly is the one who chooses to cuddle you>>220851
Play dumb as if you didnt knew there was a show and dare him to name everyone else and try getting your name
Time to get this fag out of his locker in front of the whole schoolAlso ask him who is best pony[1d100 = 6]
Boosting this >>220896
followed by this >>220897
for maximum spaghetti[1d100 = 20]>>220814
I dont paste my greens since they re not even that good, but here >>209577 →
>>220852>"Please sir, may I have some (You)?>>220897>must of
I was in a crowd shot in the movie. [1d100 = 86]
"Yea. Next." Answer everything in one or two words like the autistic sperg you are. [1d100 = 95]
>>220852>Twi finally caves and gives you some extra bits so you can get some Hayburger after school and bring her back some too>on the way back home with the greasy goodness, some pegasus kids from school jump out with a snow cloud and dump a blizzard on you>the sudden cold weather causes your tears to freeze to your face as the winged bullies laugh>worse yet, your hayfries are getting cold
Boost this. [1d100 = 31]
But Anon, this is already based on a green...
>>220951>inb4 a pic based on a green based on a pic based on a green>inb4 a green based on the pic based on a green based on a pic based on a green
>>220926This is the most wonderful of all of the possibilities. Boosting may be useless, but I demand this happen.[1d100 = 39]
>>220954>when the filly becomes self-sustaining
I cant believe it
Anonfilly said the N word
And its beautiful...
This horsefucker isn't worth your time if he's going to insult you. You roll your eyes and with a complete lack of enthusiasm in your voice, say, "Yeah... next!"
The man seems completely flabbergasted, but he is quickly replaced by the impatient student next in line. No one else seems to care much about your rather dismissive answer, presumably since most people agree that no one should have to justify your existence.
Most of the questions that follow seem to be directed at the group, rather than you specifically. You let Twilight handle those ones. Among the things the people learn are that yes, you are in the bodies of characters from My Little Pony, but no, you weren't born that way. It takes a little bit of time for the crowd to start to believe the bits and pieces of your story that Twilight lets through, but a few demonstrations of magic and flying, as well as of common human knowledge seems to back your stories. As time passes, they begin to become more sympathetic, with a few people offering words of support, including a couple welcome backs.
For your own part, you make a point of answering questions aimed towards you with short, often cryptic responses. One girl asks if you really think Hitler did nothing wrong, so you simply shrug and say "Eh." You express non-committal towards any question that could demonize you, although when asked if you just enjoy fucking with people you smile and suggest, "probably." You do not get many questions after this.
After half of the line has died down, you see a small crowd of people burst into the cafeteria with cameras and what look like press passes. They introduce themselves as being from KVRR (a local news station) and the Associated Press respectively, and immediately ask if you are available for an interview.
"Don't spin anything and we'll consider it."[1d100 = 71]
My mom could beat up your mom!
I love it.
Did this for a friend. There is absolutely no other reason, totally.
While the others give their answer, debate in your mind whether you should grab a fidget spinner before saying this >>221014
, or prepare your will before going on air for what will surely be the deluge of controversial things to say that the voices will try to pressure you into saying.[1d100 = 47]
Weighing the merits of both options, and if you could just do both.
>Ywn ywn the filly.
Nuh-uh!...Ok, ya. Probably.
Alright fillies and gentlefags, today's the big day. You've been living in the orphanage since you got to Equestria, but now you're finally getting adopted. Take a screenshot or click and drag to roll for your new horse mom. Canonically married couples are a package deal, but who you roll will be the one who spends the most time taking care of you. Feel free to age-up/rule 63 as necessary otherwise. Good luck and don't forget to make her something nice for Mother's Day.
>>221099>tfw unironically got sunbutt on first try
I got Nightmare Moon...
I don't like this game
Does this mean we can't be friends anymore?
Nah. Just means we gotta be secret friends.
>>221108Right, secret friends. Okie dokie!
I Got the best mom
I'll be the best dressed Colt
Dinky: "Ponies simply don't understand how it is to have a mentally handicapped mother."
Me: "Hold my beer."
well there goes my second childhood
Good thing I like muffins
You now can not unsee #5 as a filly sticking out of a weightlifter's neckhole.
>>221099>try click and drag>it's always the first frame
as long as whatever you say makes sure we're not tossed to the men in black with all your minds wiped.[1d100 = 32]
well then why are you complaining fag, you get best mom
Why, yes, I drink my milk straight from the tap. How did you know?
FILLY FILLY FILLY FILLY FILLY
You make good fillies
What was that? You want MY milk?!
These could all be fun greens.
>>221099>misses her kids who all left to become mega homos>needs some serious loving>my mom can eat your mom
Tartarus will be worth it. Wait, will this make me Cozy Glow?
Ah fuck, here we go. Was mobilefagging when I wrote this, so there will
be errors.>>221099>"Anon, exams are tomorrow and you haven't studied at all.">You look up from your (non-school related) book and sigh.
"Mom, I already know it all. I'll do fine.">She tries to take the book out of your hooves, but you quickly levitate it away from her.>One of the perks of your contentfagging.>"These aren't my classroom exams though. These are standardized tests, and if you fail even one of them then you repeat the grade."
"Mhm.">You're back to your book now.>She groans and gives you a firm tap on the tip of your horn, knocking the book to the floor.
"H-hey! Starswirl was just about to kick some changeling ass!">She mutters something about historical inaccuracies and puts it on the table.>"What did I tell you about swearing?"
"Sorry, force of habit...">She ruffles your mane a bit.>"I know you're having trouble adjusting, but I need you to work on it. You're a pony now, no matter what you think.">That one stung a bit...>Time to show her.
"If I can prove I know enough to ace that test, there's no need for me to study, right?">"Hmm... I suppose.">She goes to grab her lesson plans.>Humiliation.wav.>She comes back in, eyes gleaming with something you don't quite recognize.>"Powerhouse of the cell."
"Mitochondria.">"Keeps organelles suspended."
"Cytoplasm.">"Bond between a metal and a nonmetal."
"Ionic.">"Square root of 64."
"Eight.">You go on and on like this, a shiteating grin slowly manifesting on your face.>Cheerilee's has fallen off almost conpletely.>"Alright, last question.">She sounds defeated.>"Who led the fourth regiment of earth ponies to victory in 147?"
"Uhhhhhh...">Her smile is back.>"This strategy, used by the Royal Guard to seek and destroy Bat Ponies during Nightmare Moon's assualt was called?"
"Uhh... Nightmare Noon?">She shakes her head and drops the heavy-ass textbook next to you.>"You have a lot of studying to do, history exam is tomorrow.">Great...
Nice take that Anon knew everything about the subjects humans and ponies share but not history.
NONE OF THESE BOOKS ARE CANON REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Perfection. I love Vinyl and Octy, and the idea of being with a mare who'd probably lull me to sleep with trance and wake me up with happy hardcore or DnB music is just wonderful.>>221112>colt>being this in denial>>221141
Top tier shit, you ultrafaggot. Moar.
Does this mean I can get all the booze I want?
I don't know what to do with my luck.
I wanted a mom and I got a daughter.
>>221154>Implying it's impossible for a young mare like apple bloom to get pregnant.
>>221099Sometimes being a phone fag just isn't worth it. Number 37, Rule 63 Fancy Pants.>Holy Shit. The richest, most influential pony just walked in to adopt the strangest, most interesting pony in to the orphanarium.>Judging by the looks and directions everyo- everypony is recommending me.>A sacrifice for the bored god.>Glee is on their faces. I can't tell if it's because they won't be picked or if it means I'll leave.>Possibly the kindness is pony hearts and minds?>Negatives first.>Rejecting the offer might mean annoying The Most Influential Pony, besides the princesses, and her followers. Earth has taught me one thing pissing those in power off can make life alot harder than it needs to be. I hope we won.>I might be a trophy to show off. A rare collectable.>I may have to mingle with nobles. No matter how stupid they are.>I would probably be in the spotlight.>Reporters, and Paparazzi all the time.>Could possibly be a pedophile. Better me than an innocent pony I suppose.>Might be even worse. Haven't actually seen the statistics here in Horsey Land.>Extremely unrealistic expectations of me.>Her peers would try to also adopt foals. May Celestia, and Luna help those kids.>Positives.>Fortune, and influence. All the power could be mine! Mwahaha.>Possibly private school or individual tutors. No slog through the public school system. No offense pony land.>She wanted the strangest one so I might be as weird as I want.>I could learn Magic. Earth pony magic, but real magic none the less.>I could test the magic stuff from Earth.>Excellent Meals.>I might be able to eat steak. Could cows talk here?>And a r- oh she's here.>"You are Anonymous, yes?"
"I am, ma'am.">"Good, your peers say you are an adult male alien inside a filly. That interests me. I am sure you won't disappoint in interesting conversation.">Okay, I didn't think they would remember the rant I did for that first week.>She readjusted her monocle.>"You would deter some seeking my hoof in marriage, be more self-sufficient than other foals, assure my clients is in good hooves if anything happens, a possible mentor and guide if I actually have foals of my own, and more regular meetings with the princesses.">"In return you will have a home, with many luxuries. An education on almost anything you desire. A place to be yourself. Most things in this world within reach."
"What should I call you Lady Pants?">"Whatever you want, when not in a formal setting as long as I don't disagree to it. Mother, in formal meetings.">This may be a faustian bargain.>I shake her hoof.
"Where do we start Mother?">"Saying goodbye before hoof is in order."
Alternatively, she was given responsibility over you, even though she's a filly. ...or maybe its's because who knows what a question mark as a cutie mark means, so why not foist them onto one of the CMC?
>>221158>she was given responsibility over you
>>221154>>221099>Feel free to age-up/rule 63 as necessary otherwise.
I mean being older or the same age as your 'mom' could be funny.
"Consarnit, Anon! Ah done tol' ya naht tuh go buckin' th' zap apple trees! Yew all raht? How many hooves do ya see me holdin' uhp?"
>tfw you forget about the pizza in your oven and it gets burnt to a point that it's black.
Cadance would be so disappointed in me.
Near Brock levels of slant eyes. But I can still make out eyes when I zoom in.
It's unfortunate having to toss out a pizza because it's basically un-eatable, especially if it was because of your own negligence.
Small consolation is that it was a cheap frozen pizza and I had a second one to cook up. ... I found my phone's timer feature, so that one turned out all right.
>"Hey Nonny, wanna hear a riddle?"
>"What can you catch, but not throw?"
"Ooh ooh I know this one!"
>"What is it?"
>"Here's another riddle: which pony in this room is adopted?"
Not me, just reposting someone's work.
Nah, was answering purple's last question ^;)
wtf It's always Twilight on my browser
Oh boy, you know what that means!
>>221175>implying that's a bad thing
I mean sure, Sunbutt or possibly even Lovebutt are more motherly, but Twilight's still learning.
Are you just refreshing? Because you have to click on it to see the animation.
I hope to god she never discovers my green.
That's an adorable babby
I'll take care of her.
Babbies are cute
Interesting. Planning to continue?
If you had a fidget spinner available, now would be a good time to use it as a prop to emphasize your point. Unfortunately, you aren't Pinkie Pie, and you can't just pull items out of thin air for the purposes of plot convenience. Instead, you elect a simple, yet serious answer. "Don't put any spin on this, and we'll consider it."
The AP reporter laughs. "Trust me, there's no spin to be had with talking horses. Honestly I'd rather let you all do the talking."
"Ponies," Twilight corrects him.
"Oh, right. Ponies. And you are... no wait, don't tell me. Twilight Sparkle?"
She shakes her head. "I have the body of Twilight Sparkle, but not by choice. I will take the name I was given at birth, which is Diana Rose Fischer."
"Not by choice?," he asks, somewhat in jest, "So you're telling me you're not a bunch of advanced toys that snuck out of a Hasbro factory somewhere?"
"And here I thought you weren't going to give us any spin. Sorry Mr. reporter, but what you see is the real deal."
The next half hour or so consists of Twilight hogging as much press attention as she can, while the remaining crowd disperses in part, except for a few students who choose to watch on the sideline. It's a bit boring from your own perspective, so you try to find something to keep your mind entertained so you don't end up screaming "nigger" at the top of your lungs. Aside from playing a few old clapping games with Blossom, however, not much helps quell the dullness of the situation.
In the middle of all of this, you feel a pair of hooves tossed around you from behind out of nowhere. Not knowing at first that they were hooves instead of hands, you jump out of your seat in shock. Their seafoam color puts you at ease, however.
Lyra whispers into both of you and Blossom's ears, "Wanna sneak off and listen to me play some music for a few of our new fans?"
>>221099>Be filly>Mr Cake is carrying you on his back, having just adopted (you) >You've rarely been outside the orphanage so you have no idea where you are going>Soon you see a wacky looking house in the distance>As you move towards it you soon notice a scent of pastry dough in the air>Definitely a bakery>Mr Cake lets you down in front of the steps>"This is were we live, go on in!">You live in a bakery now?!>You walk up the steps and slowly open the door>As you walk in you're surprised by a blue mare who's carrying all sorts of pastries on a plate>"Welcome to your new home!">She tosses the plate to her husband in an impossible display of cartoon physics and immediately picks you up for a hug>After she's done squeezing you to death for what seemed like an eternity you're set down and you see Mr Ca- no, your new father offering the plate to you>"Go ahead and pick one, no need to be shy!">For the first time in your miserable life as a pony you actually feel loved>Unconditional affection and generosity>The emotions finally hit you like an anvil to the head>You're unable to move a muscle as your eyes tear up>Your new home.>>221192
"No I'd rather listen to Diana blather on OF COURSE I wanna listen to you play." Boop her friendlily. [1d100 = 96]
"Hell yeah! Did someone borrow a guitar for you to play? Maybe we can do backup vocals, or lyrics too."[1d100 = 95]
Kek.>Be talking with momhorse Lyra at dinner.>Mention that you write.>She asks you about it.>Proceed to explain your entire storm of autism to momhorse (minus a few parts) up until the point where the Lyra break-in arc happens.>"This is a really great story Anon, I'm glad you're finally opening up to me about something! What happens next?"
I really only had this planned out as a one-shot, but if you'd like to continue it yourself I wouldn't mind.
(To lyra) "yeah just one sec" (jump in front of cameras) "HEY AMERICA! DID YOU KNOW THAT DESPITE MAKING UP 13 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION BLACK PEOPLE COMMIT 56% OF THE CRIME?"
One day i wont forget the roll [1d100 = 15]
If filly keeps that up, her outie nose is gonna turn into an innie. Where's Purple when we need her to discipline the filly?
>>221204>"U-uh, n-nothing, that's where I stopped">Momhorse Lyra isn't having it >She eventually finds the full green by bribing other Anonfillies with Bob-bon's sweets (fuck you Reuben)>I go to children's therapy soon afterwards
Hey, at least I won't be there alone now
Alas. The timing is just off enough that it doesn't sync up with a lot of songs. It's either a little too fast or slow. Oh well. Still a fun pic.
Perfectly cut screams, filly edition
"Filly is known best in the US for his use of 'Wreck-It Ralph' toys to express his angst-ridden feelings. Now this new product may represent a big step in Fluffy's progression into a more adult-targeted franchise like The Lego Movie or Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
According to the BBC, the new Fluffy toy – the "Fluffy from The Lego Movie" – comes with a new design, including a new, colourful faceplate and some additional toys for use with the Lego film's 'Asterix and the Crystal Skull.'
As for the film itself, here's hoping we don't get to see this beloved characters reveal itself in a more adult-positive setting.
[via The Telegraph]"
Huh.I am still no less dumbfounded
You glance over at Twilight, still blabbing off the basics of your life's story together for perhaps the third time today. It is doubtful that she'd notice you were gone, at least for a while. And if she did, well, it shouldn't be that hard to find a couple of fillies surrounded by a big crowd.
"Nooooooo," you tell Lyra with as much sarcastic exaggeration as you can muster, "I'd rather listen to Diana blather on. Of COURSE I want to listen to you play."
As you say this, you boop her playfully on the nose, earning a joyful giggle out of her. You silently motion to the rest of your friends to follow, and lead them out with Lyra and a small crowd. On the way out, you notice that Lyra seems to have swiped one of cups and a pair of spoons from the dining hall. These aren't plastic throwaway tableware, so you become a little suspicious.
"Hey, you're not trying to st-"
"Don't worry. I'm gonna bring them back. Just need 'em for one song."
You make it out of the dining hall into a sort of clearing with a few paved walkways surrounded by grass. It is on one of those walkways that Lyra sits down upon with the cup and the two spoons and starts to play a familiar percussion line with them. As the crowd draws around her, you hear her sing once more.
"I got my ticket for the long way 'round. Two bottle 'a whiskey for the way. And I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leaving tomorrow, wha-do-ya say?~"
>>221288>Not doing spoon man sick beats
Wait for her to finish though, then say
I expected more of you minty, now let me show you the song of my people[1d100 = 91]
And roll for how bad we fuck upVery hard roll, 15-17 difficulty id say, only crit is decent, 10 or less is crit fail[1d20 = 15]
And spoonfeeding the spoon man song which is the song i imagined filly trying, thankfully not too bad rolls there for once
That 15 is kinda oof thoughhttps://youtu.be/T0_zzCLLRvE
Adding the bardic inspiration given to us by lyra's mere presence[1d1 = 1]
Bardic inspiration is a d6, you dummy[1d6 = 3]
Funny, I remember it being a +1
i want my momma snugs though
Shit movie [1d100 = 18]
“A man transforms into a cute little green cartoon filly as he makes his way through a large field of flowers. I'm guessing he's an animal because if he's such a big stuffed animal, he can fit in most of the fields... I can see why people aren't happy about this scene! But if he's made up for the cartoon appearance, this will be a good scene to bring out the cute characters.
After seeing the first two scenes, it's like the movie will get a little more emotional as the action plays out. I'm hoping that they are going to bring out more action scenes. What I like most about this movie is that they really want us to care. After all, this is a movie that has been told and watched over and over again. They don't hold back on any of it. Every time I see a scene like this, that makes me want to think "what if?", what if there really was an ending? That's what's”
I don't understand these jumbled auto-generated paragraph stories and I don't care to understand them. Ree.
I still see >pic related as filly trying to bury her snout in between a pair of teats.
the only teats that color would be floor bored's
and they likely wouldnt be that color
True that. Floor is a filthy mare.
>>221380>caring the filly
Fucking hell, I didn't realize it's been a week already. Sorry about that, exams.>>220394
"She was planning something, knew something I didn't. Went to Zecora's hut and basically asked me to hold her up with my baseball bat, stole a bunch of chemicals and led me off into the Everfree following that map-">"What map?"
"It should still be strapped to her barrel along with those potions and stuff.">"Ah, perfect.">She looks it over for a few minutes before crumpling it up and tossing it behind her.>"There's nothing here, you were given a dud of a map."
"She said the coordinates we had were a lie and send us out. I suspect I didn't meet the demise she was expecting us to, but surely Anon was a success if she's really mindwiped.">"Ah, then the coordinates we were given were most certainly real ones... I'll need to do a thorough search around the area to make sure. In fact, I think I might go do-"
"Oh no you don't, Anon still needs your help.">"She's passed out and will be for a good day or two until I deactivate the spell keeping that tranquilizer from decomposing. I've got plenty of time."
"Bring me then, you never know when you might need the assistance of an Earth pony.">"You're a liability kid, but any excuse to get you killed doesn't sound that bad after losing the only thing I still give a shit about. Your funeral...">With a flash, you're rolling on the ground shrieking.>"Oh, it's the pressure difference. Your ears should've adjusted naturally, oh well."
"HOW AREN'T YOU BOTHERED BY IT?!">"I'm feeling it too, but I learned a while ago that screaming when you're in pain doesn't get you anything but the wrong kind of attention.">After a few more minutes, the pain in your ears subsides to a serviceable amount. >You wipe off your snotty nose and start inspecting the ground.>Twilight just starts losing it.>"Hey dumbass! We're dealing with a global conspiracy organization, and you think there's just going to be a Celestia-damned switch on the ground? You're even denser than I thought.">You try to hold in your retorts as you feel a click under you.>A large cylinder lifts itself up into the air from beneath six feet of earth, which you quickly hop down from as not to break your legs.>Hydraulic mechanisms hiss while whirring servos can be heard from within.>The faded door opens up automatically.>You give Twilight your best 'told you so' grin and stick out a hoof in invitation.>"After you, Ms. Smarty Pants.">She just grumbles something about this making no fucking sense before obliging.>There are a bunch of strange numbered buttons, unlike anything you've ever seen.>The entire structure is composed of metal and if you were claustrophobic you would be hating your very existence right now, pushed up underneath Twilight's fat butt in the cylinder.>"I... guess I should apologize. I may have underestimated you."
"Buy me a milkshake later and we'll call it even.">You feel the reverberations of her laughter through her body above you.>"Deal.">You hear a 'ding' as the door closes, and suddenly you're plunged into darkness...>Be... Green Clover.>You groggily rub your eyes, using a hoof to take out the thing from your neck.>Where did mommy and the ghost go?>Oh well, mommy would be angry if you went hungry...>Time to make some cookies!>Be Honed Edge.>You're preforming a delicate surgical procedure on one of your colleagues when the power cuts out.>You let out a string of expletives and monitor your patient's conditions by hoof as the life support system blinks off.>The generator should be online within less than a minute...>A red beam cuts through the door to your operating room, and two figures step in; both bathed in shadow.>"What the fuck did you do to my daughter?!"
"I haven't operated on a child in my thirteen years working at this laboratory.">"Hmm, then maybe your patient knows a bit about what you slimy fucks did to her?"
"She's currently undergoing an emergency heart transplant. You're lucky I hadn't severed anything important yet when you knocked out the power, she could've died.">"And what a shame that would've been..."
"Yes, it most certainly would've been. This is my brilliant colleague and close personal friend Compound Fracture-">"Compound Fracture is dead, I read the police report myself."
"Not this one.">"You and I both know that no two ponies have ever shared the exact same name."
"Look, I'm really not the stallion to ask about this sort of thing. You two should really go to the head office, it's clearly marked on the map.">"Thank you."
"You can thank me by not jeopardizing another pony's life when you're in this facility.">"Of course, that's your job.">You huff.>"Excuse me, I am a world-renowned surgeon with four pHDs, over twenty years of experience, and a-">A great numbness passes through your body as a bolt of energy singes through the thick metal plating on your wall.>"I believe that's your job. Enjoy "Compound's" blood on your hooves, you fucker.">You grumble angrily as they walk away.>Did she think this was the first time you'd had your spine severed?>No matter, you're a unicorn.>You reach out with your field and activate the silent alarm.>Those two ponies would pay for your inconvenience.>You sigh in relief as the lights flick back on above and the life support system starts to beep again.>Everything was going to be alright after all.>Now you just need to wait...>Be Little League.>The lights flick back on.>"Fuck, they must have a backup generator."
"Didn't you destroy all three generators?">"Apparently they didn't localize them all. Smart, I honestly didn't expect that. It might be time to get out of her and come back another day.">You watch her horn light up.>Nothing happens.>It lights up again.>Nothing.>"They must've figured out a way to authorize only certain ponies' usage of magic. We need to get to the elevator.">You're tossed onto her back like a sack of potatoes.
>>221385>"Earth pony magic! What's stored in your mane?"
"Two cupcakes and a baseball bat.">"Get ready to use that bat."
>>221380>>221381That's kind of hot.
As Lyra finishes up playing the cup song, you offer to play the next song. She simply smiles and tells you to break a leg. You join the center of the crowd and attempt to perform the song "Spoonman" using the spoons as an accompaniment. It earns you a light applause, but not much.
"Hmm, not bad," Lyra remarks. "Seems like it's missing something though. Maybe a guitar? Speaking of which..." she walks over to one of the humans in the crowd. "How's progress on getting one here? Danny getting back from his dorm yet?"
"He'll be another 5 minutes or so."
"Well that's a bummer. I really need some strings for my best covers. Hrm... Hey Anon, can you rap? Because if you can, I can beatbox."
Rap one of Moonman's songs for them[1d100 = 69]
forgot to mention, anyone can feel free to suggest which one since I'm still working through them all.
Goddammit. Your dubs and 69 roll say yes, but my mind is telling me this is a bad idea. How about Mom's Spaghetti instead? [1d100 = 66]
This but with a higher roll [1d100 = 7]
"Sure can! Lay down the beat from 'Lose yourself' by Eminem." Proceed to rap "Mom's Spaghetti" once the beat starts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SW-BU6keEUw[1d100 = 1]
This, but it's not a 1 [1d100 = 91]
Thank you, Aussie man.
It's Mother's Day!
Who is your momfu and what would you do for them as the filly on this special day?
Honestly, gonna be going out to a movie with my real mom. Be sure to give your momma a hug, Anon.
You already posted best momfu. Probably wake up early to make her breakfast in bed, see if I could get some comfy cuddles while she ate after I woke her up with a bit of a nuzzle...I can't wait for this day to be over...
My mother's day is going to be spent manning a checkstand and cleaning shit off of display cases that look like they're from 1905.
Happy fucking birthday and mother's day, mom. Hope it's as disappointing as my day was.
She lives a couple hours drive away, so I'm gonna message her Happy Mothers day and maybe have a video call with her.
>>221457>the spoiler text>>221480
I'm sorry to hear that, both of you
Yeps, feel free to add or modify of you want.https://www.deviantart.com/heisssaurus/art/Miss-Fancy-Pants-450906988
Place where I pulled the pic from. Rule 63 Fancy Pants. The Spoilers spoil. Another part incoming.Anonfilly has a bad day.>It's Mother's Day. Being adopted three days ago did not help with the planning.>The most jarring thing is how genuine Fancy Pants is.>Like seriously what the fuck.>She has hope, and pride in her city to be a shining beacon for all of Equestria so others to obtain the highest standard. Like her triple crown cutie mark or her posh voice.>Then there is me.>The plan, She want's interesting things, meeting the princesses more often, and a filly for a cover story.>She has one rule though. Something that is difficult for me to do.>"Be yourself.">I can act like a filly, and do a cutesy Mother's Day card. She has a knowing look though when someone is putting on a mask.>I'm here in my new room, ploting, the sun hasn't risen yet. As the door is opening...>The door is opening?>Fancy Pants, is here in full pajama wear.>"Anonymous you're awake, that is most excellent."
"Good morning, Fancy, what's up?">"Rustic diction, I like it. We have a meeting with princess Celestia. I have to notify her about the change in plans, I'm sure she would love to see you. Since this ought to be a private meeting, I have an inkling you will be great friends. We must make haste, the help will be in here in three minutes to have you prepared. I will be by the door.">She left.>Who needs plans anyway. Now I have to be man handled by butlers and maids to look presentable. They do a good job though. The words of being such a good filly as they stroke me is fucking weird though.>With a brush. For the fur, and mane.>In the shower, washed, dried, groomed, fluffed, slicked, dressed, and by the door. In under five minutes.>No matter how weird it is they are professionals at what they do.>"Anonymous, you're here good. We may be right on time to join her majesty for breakfast and tea."
"So, Fanc- Mother, what should I expect?">"A pony who has seen a little too much, but keeps going every day.">That's not ominous at all.>The Castle is looming ahead.>The guards quickly let us in.>"So you understand Anonymous, I'm sorry for what may happen.">Okay what the fuck.>And the door opened.>Princess Celestia, in the flesh no crown, or shoes. In a bedroom, sitting by a table with a kettle and three tea cups with saucers. A single candle lighting the room.>All this setting needs now is some blood and a few squiggly lines with circles and it would look like a cult ritual.>"Daughter, Pants, you have arrived with your new daughter.">The voice full of warm sunshine, chilled to an almost eldritch quality.>"I have returned, Mother, this daughter of mine, goes by the name Anonymous. Partake as you wish.">Oh, Fuck.>Celestia opens her equine mouth.>"Anonymous, like the others. How delightful. I do enjoy a good challenge. Son of man, Daughter of harmony come closer and speak to me your name.">Fuckity fuck. I trot closer.
"I am known by many names, I can be called the son of my right hand as reliable as my staff, a victor of stone people, a saint of gifts. Righteous Staff is a good name.">She just smiled. Dazzling with horrific light.>"Daughter Pants, you always bring the best gifts. I will enjoy this one very much.">"Mother, I have much to discuss, about the plans.">Celestia smirks, "Anonymous, do stay there, I would be most displeased if you were to leave.">This better be a prank in poor taste.>They talk about the nobles, the other races pony and otherwise, about the future.>The door opens, shocking us all.>"Sister? Where is the... Sister what are you doing.">"Luna, I cam explain.">Huzza! I might get out of this unscathed.>"A mare, and filly in your 'hidden' bedroom lit by a single candle. I'm sure you have a good explanation why I wasn't invited.">"Sister, you know I wouldn't start without you. I haven't for a thousand years.">Well, fuck.>"This is, Daughter Pants, and the filly is Anonymous, or Righteous Staff.">They all sit at the table sipping quietly.>"Daughter Pants, your sacrifice is immeasurable, may the Sun">"And Moon">"Be your Mothers. You may leave.">Fancy Pants, bows and exits without a word.>I wonder if I'll get out of this alive.>"Sister, you take the back and I'll take the front like old times?">There is nothing in the room, I could use. They put the damned tea sets away.>"Luna, that sounds wonderful. Mother will be most pleased.">Magical chains grip my being. I'm a puppet with strings.>They move me to the bed.>"Anonymous, it pains me to say that your vist to Equestria has been cut so short. I really do think we could have been friends, but family comes first.">They cast spells on each other and me. I'm not even sure what they cast.>"You said this, filly was a male of a different species, right sister?">"Well, young, yet old and experienced, with a talent in magic even if it is out of this world. She fits the criteria.">This has gone from bad to worse.
"Do I get a last meal or something?">"Hmmm, no."
Wonder if they'll run into Sweetie there
Happy Mommy Issues day!>>221447
I want Twiggy momfu. I'd try to make her breakfast and spend the day with her, letting her know I love her.
>Filly finds porn of other fillies in Twilight's basement
>Brings it upstairs and realizes that she has no way to play a roll of film
>Takes it to the local theater, breaks into one of the projector rooms and puts it on while a children's movie was supposed to be showing
>Theater full of stallions and mares with their fillies and colts see poorly disguised Twilight sticking horn in filly vagooter
>Twiggles gets arrested
>Filly sitting there eating ice cream with the EMTs in a blanket
"Happy mother's day!"
Grumpy filly will fold and return love to purple mommy.
I would only be HALF as annoying.
Anon was going to be late for Cheerilee's class, he didn't want to get detention, so he ran as fast as his little green filly legs could carry him. When he arrived at the entrance of the classroom, he took off through the windows without stopping to say "thank you". Cheerilee's mother was upset that he got detention but accepted him as if he was an equal student. While he was there, another kid was coming over to Cheerilee's room to buy a sandwich while she was still getting dressed. Cheerilee smiled and pretended she didn't notice the man and he asked what the sandwich entailed. Cheerilee asked why he was talking to her when she wasn't in her room, but he answered that he was looking around school building looking for someone who wanted to ask her a question. He was taken to a room to a different classroom. There were other students, including her parents, who were laughing and laughing.
Continued. Includes non-consentual sex, lot's of lingus. It wouldn't quite be an anonfilly story with something bad happening. Spoilering the sex parts.>My day has gone from hopefully good, to ruinously bad.>"Celestia, move her a bit closer to the head rest would you?">Glideing to the top of the bed, I'm raised in the air.>"Quite a shame how you lost your manhood, Luna always liked the twigs.">Well, on the bright side I'm losing my V card sooner than my last life. Might as well do my best to ruin their day when the time is right.>The door opened. Yet again shocking everyone in the room.>It's Fancy Pants!>With a strapon.>"Mothers I couldn't just leave without helping any in way. It just wouldn't sit right with me.">"Of coarse daughter, prepare me.">Fancy Pants, hands her the toy, and prepares herself, by stripping.>That's actually kinda hot. Damn it all, I didn't want another fetish before I died.>Fancy gingerly, but expertly, licks Celestia's clit with an enchanting grace.>Luna licks my forehead, and whispers.>"You'll break like others have before you.">Slowly she swirls downard not quite reaching my virgin genitals, just out of reach.>"Oh! Fancy you are quite good. You can fuck my sister, as we eat your daughter.">Celestia, now on the bed boops her snoot to my rump. Her horn glowing brightly as a minty freshness fills my mouth, everywhere tingles slightly.>Fancy still attached to Celestia's pussy, lines her feminine hips to Luna."Oh! Fuck!>The sisters plunging into my depths, with no foreplay. Tongueing my special filly place, and anus.>"Mother of ancient darkness, and beyond primal light accept our offering!">Somehow they are still able to speak clearly.>Woah! The tongues slithering deeper and deeper, trying to find something. Thrashing.>Fancy's thrusting is becoming more violent, more chaotic. Sending vibrations through the horse tongues, helping the pleasurable search.>Ow! Fuck! Son of bitch. The moon whore is jabbing my cervix. Celestia is... wrapping my insides around my cooter, giving Luna the internal equivalent of a hand and blow job.>I can feel her t- tongue combing my stomach. No area left unmolested.>Something, happened to Luna as she just reached the innermost chamber. The tongues stopped vibrating.>I heard the squeak of the bed, then a sickening thud. Out of the corner of my eye Fancy Pants lay still neck and spine with too many twists and bends.>Sun cunt's tongue still growing, still stroking, eached my mouth.>They started getting more violent, not finding what they wanted.>"Oh! MOTHER, of the Night! We bring you this offering! Devour, Consume, Enjoy this Foal!">Sun bitch's tongue explored ever inch. The only place left was outside my mouth.>Moon dyke, finished probing my left ovary, and is prodding the right one.>Celetia's tongue flapped wildly in front of my eyes.>I bit down with all my filly strength.>"AHHH! YOU CUNT!">They both thrashed my insides as though bones and physics didn't matter.>The Door Opens once more.>"Creatures of nightmare you shall perish! For your transgressions!">Another Luna? Nightmare?!>Is this my mind? This is a damned, fucking dream. A nightmare!>This is MY MIND.>THEY ARE IN MY MIND! They have entered the realm of an enraged god.>The roof splintered into prime fractals as the infinite stary eyes gazes into their soul.>I Judged Them.>The intruders shuddered as they realised how baddly they fucked up.>The apparently real Luna blasted them into nothingness. Aw, how merciful.>"How are you feeling? Did they say anything?"
"Something about a Mother of ancient darkess. Well, since your here princess. Oh, right could you invite Fancy Pants to a dinner or something, for Mother's day.">The princess of Dreams and I a human turned filly chatted for a while. Remembering Earth, and the sights.>Luna crafted times of old, things she missed.>We both mourned togther, of things lost.>Soaked in sweat, I bolted upright. Well, damn I actually remembered that dream.>I should actually have a plan for a Mother's day present, but first writing down that lucid dream.>I take a nice shower in the big bathroom. Real, Equestrian magic is awesome.>Here in my new room, plotting, the sun hasn't risen yet.>Doesn't Luna actually check dreams? I should at somepoint try to convince Fancy Pants to let me talk to her about that dream.>The sun, creeps across the window.>A knocking on the door catches my attention.>"Anonymous, are you awake?>She sounds giddy.
"Goodmorning, Fancy Pants. You can come in if you want?">Fancy Pants is half prancing inside as soon as I finish.>"Anonymous, Princess Luna personally invited both of us to the castle for breakfast! She said it was your idea for a mother's day gift. Thank you!"
"I still need to breath."
"Fancy, I seriously can't breath!">"Sorry, I just haven't been personally called for by Princess Luna. Thank you!"
"I thought you ran companies or something?">"I do that too, but the main this I do is walk around Canterlot. Sometimes the princesses have requests for me too.">Hold on. That means her job is to be a mascot for Canterlot.>"We have to get ready."
"Alright. Happy Mother's day, Fancy Pants."
>You hear the chirping of birds outside as you awaken
>You haven't been getting much sleep lately
>So much paperwork...
>Who knew being the Princess of Friendship would be so much work
>Speaking of, you should go get breakfast ready for Anon
>You roll out of bed and onto the floor, making your way down the hall
>You turn into the kitchen and-
>The kitchen is an absolute mess
>You let out a gasp as you take in the view
>Flour dusted over the counters
>Batter splattered on the walls
>Dirty dishes everywhere
>Eventually your eyes make their way to the filly sitting down at the table
"Anon! What did you do?!"
>She looks hurt by your reaction
>"Sorry... I wanted to do something special"
"Something special? What do you-"
>Then it hits you
>You notice the large plate of pancakes sitting in front of her
>"H-happy Mother's Day"
>You feel your eyes tear up
>You walk around the table and pull her into a hug
>She relaxes into your embrace and whispers in your ear
>"Love you, mom"
"I love you too, Anon"
>As you break the hug, you use your magic to lift some pancakes onto the plates
>You take a bite
"Wow, these are pretty good! Where did you learn to make them?"
>"I had a little experience from before. Pinkie helped with teaching me to cook with hooves."
>That makes more sense
>"Sorry again about the mess"
"Oh, don't worry about it. If anything, I should be sorry for snapping at you"
>"Would you like to spend the day together?"
>You think back to all the work you have to do
>Screw it, this is far more important
>You can figure that out tomorrow
"Of course I would"
>>221486>>221519>Filly gets roped into some kind of occult sex ritual>It's just a dream
I suppose I'll write more stuff then. Now we have a proper plot thread. Instead of just mooks now escalation can occur.
No where is safe. For reality can be unreal. Sleep is no longer completely restful. The character must develop, or die. The impact on others would make a good story.I just like happy endings too much.
here. I just got done closing my place tonight and heard a song on the drive home. mlpol isn't letting me post it and audacity won't accept it, so I'll just post it to anonfile. If the format is having trouble, use VLC, that's a guaranteed to work option. Sorry if this was a massive waste of time...thought I'd share though.https://anonfile.com/B1lbPeq5nf/Coat_of_Many_Colors_-_Heard_on_KSON_at_11_22_PM_3gpp
You'd really like to play some Moonman here, but you made a promise to Twilight to keep things PG-13. You're not quite sure where the cutoff is between PG-13 and R, but rapping about black people hanging from trees probably crosses the line. Probably.
Naturally, this leaves Eminem as a close second. You ask Lyra to put down a beat similar to the one from "Lose Yourself", and proceed to belt out the best meme rap from your time...
"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti~"
This earns a lot more applause from the crowd compared to your spoon song, and even a few laughs to boot. You're not quite sure if this is their first time hearing this variation of the rap. Regardless, the thunder dies down as soon as the guitar arrives. Lyra is speechless as she lays eyes on it. It's an original Gibson Les Paul.
"Danny... Danny boy, you keep a Gibson in your DORM?"
"Rich parents. Just don't ding it, alright?"
Lyra gently levitates the guitar out of his hands and straps it around her back. She closes her eyes as she summons forth what appears to be a seafoam green ethereal hand that she grasps around the neck of the guitar and contorts into a chord. She then strums the guitar once with her hoof and lets the strings ring out in perfect pitch, and amplified by her magic. The crowd appears to go wild from her display of magical abilities, but she brings them quiet once more as she blasts out a few more notes and chords to a song that, admittedly, you had not heard before.
"Home in the valley, Home in the city.
Home isn't pretty, Ain't no home for me.
Home in the darkness, Home on the highway.
Home isn't my way. Home will never be.
Burn out the day, Burn out the night. I can't see no reason to put up a fight.
I'm living for giving the devil his due.
And I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you
I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you!"
Dunno if any fillies like Blue Oyster Cult, but this is what I had Lyra play:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipqqEFoJPL4
They're pretty fuckin' awesome.
>>221538I...don't know if I can bring myself to drink tonight. I think vidya will have to do until 2AM or so.
>>221490>Best Mom>Implying any horse but Derpy
Lovable, has her problems but makes her ways to live past those while also bringing smiles on others lives and always trying to cheer you on, but not stupidly like Dash's mom
Wish could stay with her myself
Also, got her a nice cupcake, its close to a muffin, which may be the way she may call her filly, but cupcakes are more sweet, just like herself
the only fillies that don't are probably embryos or just eggs still
Was meant for >>221447
but hope she doesnt mind being slightly late here to begin with
That Bzoing, top kek
>>221545I bet she needs a change now doesn't she? Silly fillies.
Even if that modern cuntmare's tale got no sympathy from me, I am impressed.
>>221545>Third pic>filly eyes
>>221519>I have to say bring near the princesses is bringing up some of the lewd things that happened in the nightmare also an urge to always be armed.>Being a foal doesn't help when the princess tells your parent the reason, she has a cool present is because someone diddled the filly.
"I'm fine. It's not like it's the worst thing that's happened in my mind.">"Anonymous, anon, I- y- my conscious would not sit right with me just letting my daughter-">I slightly twitch. Hmm, that's a problem.>"be ravaged by a terrible creature as she says it's just fine. This absolutely is not fine! It's a miracle the princess came when she did. I'm glad she eradicated that thing. Princess Luna, if you could have done something worse to it I-">Oh, this is serious.>"Fancy Pants, you must calm down slightly.">"Oh- buck it all. I know I ought to keep my temper, but the thing just raped her! I may have not known Anon for all that long, but she is kin and holds a special place in my heart.">I did not expect to have those feels. Her horn is sparkling furiously.>"Fancy, We have in our long time as princess seen horrific acts done. We have a strong intuition that this is just a start of a resurgence of foes, new and old. We are depending on you more than ever. You have to be alert, and do what you do best.">I'm glad this is a fairly bright room really changes the tone of the cultt rapey tea party. Looking out of the window thw sun is shining. A little bit wavey, like how a horn glows.
"Look out the window. Does it look strange to you?">Luna turns. Fancy Pants is ready to blast a bitch.>A brick breaks the window, and Fancy Pants obliterates the red solid. A fast moving spell is shot into the room.>It hits me.>"Anon are you okay?">I look down at my hooves, and I love me so much. I don't want stop loving me. I love me, I need me.
"I'm bucking sexxy.">Those mares are drooling, over me.>Understandable.>"Anonymous, have I ever told you how stunning you look. You outshine the princess of love.">"I agree Fancy, so delectable. We could just eat her up."
"I could eat me too.">My eyes are burning, I love myself way too much to make me go through that pain.>I close my eyes.>What the damn hell.
"Luna, Fancy you need to close your eyes.">"Removing my gaze from your perfect figure? I think not. A refreshing eye spell should do the trick. After all this isn't the stareing contest.">That's not good.
"How about dispelling the spell on me to let my true perfection shine?">"Oh! Yes. I unwrap you from all the spells you want.">A cold a brisk chill settles over me.>"Fancy Pants.">"Princess.">"Did we almost molest, and skin your daughter?">"Indeed.">I finally open my eyes, scissors and sharp pointy objects are scattered across the room. A notebook on how to maximize healthy beautiful skin, and fur growth. Detailed notes and estimates on how long making an entire body suit for both of them would take.
"Oh.">"This is now part of a classified emergency. I personally will be teaching Anonymous how to use magic like an equestrian. The report for the other princesses will be sent to them as soon as possible.">"Princess, this has been a shocking day. I would like to go home, but it's safer here with you.">Following Luna on a path heading to Celestia.
[Muffled REEEing in the distance]
All Faust era horses have magic the same colour to their eye colours, cant see how fags keep trying to give Lyra green magic even though it was shown to be gold many times in the show already
Also lay down beside her, close your eyes and just listen to her go
Only intervene if someone makes some shitty pop request
If we re asked for a song do Country roads, then attempt to not cry...just hug her and cry a lot for missing our home afterwards[1d100 = 70]>>221552>Want it, need it spell
Nice, though I wonder where that spell came from, or rather from whom
>>221552>"Did we almost molest, and skin your daughter?"
Now there's the Anonfilly thread I know and love.
>>221141>>221180>>221243>Be me>Learn about a free trip to the world's largest putt-putt golf course as a prize for showing up at the Mare-y Pony-ch show's segment "What is Wrong with My Foal?">Manage to cajole Fun Mom into letting me do it>You had to submit an essay illustrating your mental difficulties, so your just sent in highlights from your 120k word green>Now you're just sitting in the pre-show waiting room>"Hey Assfaggot!" you hear from your left>You turn to the side and see Lone15
"Oh, hey Lone, you tricked your mom into bringing you here too?">"No, she made me come because 'I had severe mental health problems' and 'thought this might help'. Can you believe that?"
"...yeah, totally.">"At least I get a free trip the world's largest putt-putt golf course. Heh, these ponies haven't seen anything yet. See ya on stage."
"Yeah, see ya">She trots off to her sad-looking, broken-hearted momfu Cherilee>...>...
"But if I'm not the most messed up kid, I might not get the prize...">15 minutes later>Sitting on a couch with momfu Lyra onstage, with Lone occupying an identical, parallel one with Miss Cherilee>"Now, Miss Cherilee, what problems does your foal have?" host Mare-y asked, mic in hoof>Cherilee answers in a shaky voice, still holding onto her tissuebox>"S-she's just so sad all the time, and if I try to touch her she shies away, and she doesn't want to play with any f-friends. It's like she's just miserable all the time, *sniff*, and always acts like she's all alone">Lone just looks down toward the floor in her saddest face, probably faking it>Mare-y then turns toward your superior momfu, holding the mic towards her>And Miss Heartstrings, how does your foal live day-to-day?">"Oh, my little poopsikens goes to school, plays with her toys-" she starts cheerfully
"Myeem, we're pretending, remember, crying and cutting myself" you whisper to her>"Oh, I mean sobbing uncontrollably and cutting her forelegs.">"Awww" the audience says in sympathy, with just a twinge of judgment>Lone apparently didn't like the competition for saddest green (filly)>"Oh, you ain't sad, I attempted suicide!" Lone insists, pointing a hoof at you>She must have come to the same conclusion as you prize-wise
"Oh yeah? Well, I've attempted suicide so many times, the paramedics just park outside my house now! Whateva, I do what I want!">The audience gives another sad "awww">"Wow, these fillies truly showcase the mental health crisis facing foals of Equestria" Mare-y remarks, pretending to be solemn but actually not caring>She just wanted the ratings>"Well Marey, I cry myself to sleep every night." Lone adds mournfully
"Oh yeah? Well, I cry myself to sleep and
awake every morning! And that's on good nights!">Be Reuben>Playing Monopony with babby sister Nore>Somehow losing>Suddenly you hear the door slam open and shut
"Mom, did you remember to get my cinnamon rolls?!">Instead, your next-door neighbor Ash runs into the room and turns on the "high-tech" 28" color television>"Dude, you have to see this!" Ash says as she fiddles with the dial, and you eventually see the Mare-y Pony-ch talk show turn on
"Dude, I hate these talk shows, what's-">Then you see two fellow contentfags sitting on chairs with their momfus, talking about how their depression affected their school life>"Pssh, my school attendance is so bad, even the teacher forgot I'm supposed to be there! And she's my mom!" Lone brags>"Whateva! My grades are so bad that they have to use negative numbers! I do what I want!" Ass responds semi-angrily>"Well, my depression is so bad I sneak into my mom's room and lower the scores on other foals' graded assignments so I feel better about myself!">The audience audibly starts whispering to each other
"Holy shit, is that Lone? And Assfaggot?">"Yeah dude, they've been at this for like five minutes now!"
"Dude, turn it up!" you tell her, moving yourself and Nore onto the couch, who makes a 'pphbbt' noise with (hopefully) her mouth>"Dude, I hope Scotch is seeing this" Ash says as she hops onto the couch with you>You were going to talk to Cherilee about that C you got last week>Back to being ASSFAGGOT>"So moms, I imagine that both of your foals have some difficulties at nighttime?" Mare asks>"Oh, my little Assfaggot doesn't like bedtime at all, she has to use a nightligh-" Lyra begins>You nudge her oncemore>"Oh, actually, Ass has frequent nightmares when alone due to being emotionally dependent on myself and my partner" Lyra says as if reading off of a script (which you had given her prior to filming)>"Oh you ain't sad! I'm so emotionally underdeveloped I'm a serial bedwetter and have to wear diapers at night!" Lone announces
"Whateva! I have to sleep inside my mom's uterus because it's the only place I feel safe! I do what I want!">"Well, I hate myself so much, my mom needs to check under the bed for myself every night!">Damn she's good>Be Bon-Bon>Knitting a sweater for Lyra in front of the TV>Eventually your program ends, so you get up and starting turning the dial to the various stations>That is, until you see your girlfriend and daughter on a talk show
"Oh Faust..." you say before even seeing any of it>5 seconds later and you were furious at them>You were going to have a very dramatic evening
>>221567>Back to ASSFAGGOT>"Whatever, I'm on so many medications my prescription just says 'All of them'!">Lone was certainly a match for your ability to bullshit, you had to tryhard this if you wanted to go to the world's largest putt-putt golf course>"So" Mare-y interrupts, "what do you mothers want for your children?" >"I-I just want my daughter to be happy" Cherille chokes out through her tears, "but it's like she doesn't even try to get better, she just stews in her misery">After a short pause, Lyra butts in>"Well, for my little Faggy, I love her just the way she is">She tries to nuzzle you, but you push her away (probably helping your case)>"Foals, it seems like you have psychological issues dealing with mother figures, could you expand on that?">Lyra decides to answer first>"Oh, my little snuggle bunny is a mama's filly to be sure, and we-"
"Myeem...">"She's, em, permanently damaged by the abuse and neglect her birth mother gave her.">"I was gonna say the same thing about Lone" Cherilee adds>Copycat>"It's really hard, having my early formative years desecrated by a malicious mare" Lone interjected, "and I still haven't recovered, even with Cherilee's support">Was using 'Cherilee' instead of 'mom' a slip or part of some sort of 3D chess?>She seemed to take that statement badly, so probably not part of their game plan
"Whateva! I've got two moms and it's still not enough to resolve my mommy issues!">"You're not sad, my mom tried to abort me!"
"Oh yeah? Well, my mom decided to not abort me so I could suffer in life!">"Well, my mom was actually pretending to want to to abort me, actually hoping it would be botched so I'd be a deformed freak! And I think she succeeded!">The audience was eating this up, especially Lone's self-esteem issues>Be Reuben again
"Dude, even if this is all bullshit, I can't believe they're actually coming up with this">"What if it's not?">...
"No way dude, this is crazy even for them">"I mean, some of it may be true. Have you read their greens?"
"Those were fake dude. Nobody can be that
fucked up">Ash just shrugs her shoulders while Nore begins sucking on her hoof, attention still focused on the TV>You nuzzle the qtπ babby and get back to watching the fireworks>"Now foals, have there been any incidents or abuse in your lives that may have caused these feelings?" Mare-y asks, starting by pointing her mic to Lone>"I don't like talking about this... but I had been molested by my birth parents since I was three." Lone says somberly, receiving a pat on the shoulder from Mare-y
have been molested by myself
since I was a fetus!" you say to one-up her>The audience wasn't sure how to feel at that last one, but Cherilee looks horrified at these realizations (well, mostly confused at the last one), pulling out another tissue to wipe off more of her tears >Lyra just shakes her head cheerfully at your silliness, being used to your shenanigans>"Alright parents" Mare-y announced, "to help with your foals' behavioral disorders, we've brought a special guest who's gone through your submitted essays and wants to offer a psychological review. Give it up for Princess Twilight Sparkle!">An irate-looking Purple walks onstage to deafening applause, and sits on an opposing couch with disdain, holding two manila folders seemingly full of your greentexts>You and Lone lock eyes
"Buck" the two of you whisper in unison
Fuck you, I'm not good at laughing quietly. Moar please?
>>221552>Seeing the princess multitask is a bureaucratic force of nature in action.>There she is sitting on the throne. Listening to a pony talk about yachts.>"An important matter has just come up. The yacht fund has potential, however the implementation has a few flaws. I look forward to the improved proposal.">The propaganda at the orphanage didn't quite describe how being near the princesses feel.>A gentle overpowering presence of the celestial objects personified.>It could just be the shock of almost being turned into a onesie.>"Sister, Fancy, and little one let's head somewhere more private.">She brought us to a janitors closet. So what's the twist? She's opening it.>It's just a janitors closet, entirely full, there is no way an adult pony could fit in there let alone the princesses.>Celestia just walked through the back wall. Right, illusions are a thing here.>Walking in is a bdsm fetish lovers wet dream. It would have looked like a normal dungeon and torture chamber if not for the fact the walls were covered with sex toys.>Sun butt pulled a lever, the door closing behind us.>"This is the closest private area. What happened Luna?">Damn, that's alot sex toys. They are engraved too.>Luna, and Fancy are talking from shouting to whispers.>Red Light District, Floozie Flow, Little Sun, Quick Apple, Baby Batter, Pepper Supreme, Quacking Good Time, and Discord.>What.>"Anonymous, you need to get on the examination table to see if the nightmare left a clue.">There's the step stool. This is actually kinda comfortable.>A physical examination.>"This should just take a moment, take a deep breath."
"Fucking cocksuckers!">It's like a small fire cracker exploded inside me.>"Luna get the Clydesdale Cylinder, it's resistant to magic. We're going in.">Three things I didn't want to hear.>"Fancy Pants be a dear and get the Slip'n Slides slip in side lube. The big container.">That thing is big enough the princesses could stick their heads in and turn comfortably. Holy fuck.
"I'm not sure that's going to fit. I mean for fucks sake it's at least thrice as big as I am!">"Anonymous, we have a little thing in Equestria known as magic, It's enchanted to easily, and painlessly put objects inside ponies. Very helpful if a toy get's stuck. For actual medical uses, it can be put inside a small incision, to make surgeries less invasive. Or for tough deliveries.">Less invasive.>"I will also cast something that will make this easier."
"I would ask for at least a dinner date, before handing away my virginity. I even met your sister and everything.">"Daughter you can't just hoof over your filly flower for just any pony that says they are a princess or a prince. I know the princess is a good pony though. Princess Luna can you believe how fast they grow up.">"She already had a life before even being born. They sure do grownup fast.">An uneasy chuckle.>"Let's begin.">Fancy Pants drenched the Clydesdale Cylinder in the lube. Luna is scooping the slippery stuff out. Massaging it