>>141202 I like the idea. But I don't know what to contribute, and what is wanted for input. Also I don't have the in-depth knowledge writefags have, so sorry if what I write don't make sense and/or is already done. >tl;dr; t. rambling of a mad man who don't know what he is doing
What I miss, and from what others have mentioned, is that there is no real character development in the new seasons. The main characters don't drive the story any more; they have to search for "problems" others have to solve.
CMC found their purpose, but the purpose was to do what they already did without a personal goal to strive for. Their "struggle" is over. I really liked the episode, but I'm sad that it ended the the moral they thought that you have to keep on trying. The following episode did a good job playing on the end of the search. They find ponies to help and they do good, but they already did that. They were the wholesome innocence looking for fun. https://youtu.be/F5CfOfX0Xls
So for lack of anything better to suggest: A prequel to the MLP G4. The childhood of Luna and Celestia before they got their cutiemarks. There is many ways to go, but to mention two opposites. One could go dark, where parents dies from decease or villain like Discord. In this world Celestia and Luna have to learn through struggle. Or a lighter way where they are thought their values from their parents. >If I missed the mark completely of what is looked for I am sorry, hopefully there is some words making sense in there somewhere
>>141202 Finally, the thread I've been waiting for. I can probably write up a short or two, depending on the demand and the prompt. May I also point out, With formatting like this, who needs FIMfiction? t. some cancerous faggot on a leafistani horse sodomy bazaar
I have had these two ideas in my head for Aryanne. A story in which a comedic (dry/black humour), ponified Nuremberg Trials is portrayed as a kangaroo court debacle ending with the building being seized (just right after Aryanne spouted some witty line) by Pony Reich insurgents in an effort to help Aryanne escape underground. Further detailed is a smuggling run to get Aryanne out of the country. Second, is essentially a story of unlikely allies being brought together to escape a greater force. This case it's Aryanne and Veronika. The setting is a decade after the Reich falling, Veronika on some convert mission stumbles across a retired, undercover Aryanne. What immediately follows is that they at each other throats, but the threat of "something" (a local revolution in pony South America, ruthless bounty hunters?, whatever) compels them to work together in order to survive the conflict.
>>141233 Writing discussion, especially around improvement, could easily be shifted off to an /üb/ thread. While I'm not against the idea of a separate board for fics, we'd need a hell of a lot more writers to get good use out of it, as well as some kind of guarantee of their stuff being viewed and replied to, lest it become as barren as /üb/ is. For now, it's best to stick to a thread or two dedicated to greens.
>>141233 >>141234 Let's prove that we can get a sustained writing thread with a large number of contributors going before we go clamoring for another board nobody will ever use.
That said, I've been interested in trying my hand at writing MLP stuff since getting into all this last year but haven't really had any ideas worth developing. If I get a decent prompt I might be able to whip something up. I tend to do best with ridiculous, off the wall ideas.
I really wanted to write this myself but then again it is just a fanfic so who cares.
I would theese myself but as I am going to post in the anonfilly thread, nolonger intend to write that much green anymore. Sometimes I will write something small like a one-shot or something but major project will be postponed. The reason why is because I sat down and wrote in Swedish. The difference was like wading through mud to walking on land. I feel like i nolonger ed to worry about not being able to describe something because i can't find the right word. I also feel like i am getting rewarded for my efforts. I only need to focus on the story now.
First premise: >How pinkie discoveres her pinkie sense. >How she learns which "twitch" is related to which consequnce. >Back to present time she discover a new "twitch" or movment in her body that she has not experinced before. >Estatic about this new movment she tries to discover it and spends her day trying to figure it out but she doesn't discover it. >The next morning somepony in ponyville has been murded.
And/Or >Pinkie discover that if her tail spins three time in circle clockwise, then she is going to get seriously banged that night. This is not a weird fantasy of mine. I swear. It is not like I like pinkie pie or anything… Baka!
Second premise: >Twilight discovers that the pinkie pie that managed the contest about dry paint wasn't the real pinkie pie and that the real pinkie by is trapped in the mirror pool. >She and her friends captures this pinkie. >Twilight dicovers that the mirror pool only contains the amount of copies that were sent back into the mirror pool. >That new copies are created only when the copying ritual is preformed. >Twilight figures out that there is 64 pinkies and 63 in the pool since one is with her. >One of the 63 pinkies is the real one. >She finds away to access the set of pinkies that are in the mirror pool and that is by some sort of magical hacking the ritual so that instead of making more pinkies she exchanges one to get another. >And by this method she must figure out which pinkie is the right one.
You can obviously do whatever you want with these. If you feel like changing something feel free.
Flutters is forced to move out to a small apartment in [insert big pony city] Whitout the company of her animals nor friends, she is forced to adapt to an unknown environment, causing her to slowly lose her sanity.
I writted this idea quite quickly so it might have some errors. Any thoughts? Would you read this story?
>Three years. >Three years of seeing those pointy-beaked bird-kikes fleece Equestria for all it was worth. >And who knows how many years they've done it for, before you got here? >How many decades? >Well, it doesn't matter. >Because today will be the day that (((they))) pay for their crimes against the people of this world. >Readjusting the heavy tank resting upon your back, you march onwards towards Griffonstone. >To think, these kikes live in shitty, hostile environments, just like the kikes from your world. >Even in Equestria, they're shit at planning for the future. >Otherwise, they'd have stopped you long ago. >You must be a mile away from the town, by now. >Your hands begin to shake. >You can't help but develop a wicked smile, brushing a hand down your moustache. >Who'd have thought the handlebar moustache would go so well with the orange skin? >Ah, but there are more important things to focus on. >Like the sounds of hundreds of bird-kikes screaming in unison. >You're unable to keep your hands from trembling, as your grip around the flamethrower intensifies. >No guards are seen near the gate, as you make your approach. >Of course (((they))) wouldn't think to guard their precious enclave. >You briefly ponder torching the entire gate, but decide to try and push the door first. >To your surprise, it actually does swing open. >That's strange. >Could this be a trap? >The pilot light of the flamethrower sparks to life. >You step into the town, fully prepared to torch any bird-kikes that dare to make themselves known. >The town is run-down, filthy, and clearly has never had any kind of proper infrastructure put into place. >But more importantly, it appeared to be empty. >Oh, you get it. >They're hiding away in their little dirt hovels, aren't they? >Laughing about how they've fooled another good goy, no doubt. >Well, you'll have to agree, it is very funny. >It'll be even funnier, seeing them covered in napalm and screaming in agony. >You point the flamethrower to the nearest house, and pull the trigger. >The flames shooting up along it, cloaking it in liquid flame, is pure pleasure to watch. >As the building begins to burn down, you move to another sad excuse of a structure, giving it the same flame treatment. >You move around the entire town, torching building after building. >But your enjoyment of this purge was slowly arrested by one key detail. >No screaming could be heard. >Not a sound, other than the crackling of flames, and the occasional collapse of a building. >Where are they? >Where are they?! >Where did they go?! >The door to your house can be heard being thrown open rather violently in the background, just as you were about to descend into your secret trapdoor. >Oh, great, looks like Twilight came back to accuse you of-- >"Where are you, Anon?! >Nevermind, it's worse than Twilight accusing you of harbouring evil changelings. >Groaning, you shut the trapdoor, reconceal it, and open the door leading from your office, heading towards the living room. >"I know you're here!" "No, I'm here." >He jumps badly, just like every time you sneak up behind him. >"Gah! Anon, what have you done?! "Nice to meet you too, Annoying Orange." >"I'm not in the mood for your little jokes!" "And I'm not in the mood to talk, yet here we are. What do you want?" >"You set me up! There were no griffons there, at all!" "Oh, there weren't?" comes your insincere reply. "Well isn't that funny?" >"There is nothing funny about this, you wretched kike-lover! Tell me where they are!" "First of all, I don't love those 'kikes'. Assholes keep jacking up beef prices, ever since we moved into town." >"They're liable to do much worse! Now tell me where they are!" "Oh, they've been… taken care of." >"What?"comes his surprised response, soon flipping back to indignant anger."What do you mean, 'taken care of'?" "Oh, the wife rolled in about a week ago, scoobied them all up." >It's so nice, seeing other-Anon at a loss for words. >"You mean to tell me that you knew they were gone, this whole time?"he says with gradually building anger. "Mmhm," you reply, trying your best to keep the shit-eating grin off of your face. >"And you gave me the details on their location, knowing full well I would arrive to find no griffons to kill?!" "Yep." >He looks about ready to blow a fuse. >"Why?!" "Why?" you reply with a pointed grin. "Because I haven't forgotten about the one time you ate my entire goddamn anchovy pizza, you fucking douche." >"What?! You still--" "So I'd say this makes us even." >"You sent me on that wild goose chase for nothing more than a petty grudge?!" "Aren't you the guy who holds a monster grudge for those kikes cutting up your junk?" >"Wha-- How are those two even remotely comparable?!" "Eating my soul food was like circumcising my very soul, you filthy soul-kike. Know my pain." >"What--" "Yes, I'm sure 'what' is a very lovely country this time of year, but I'm afraid we're fresh outta time for today. I've got shit to do." >More specifically, a wife to do. >"I'll remember this, you disgusting, bug-loving degenerate!"he hollers as you swagger off, back towards your office. "Hey, if you know a wife who can give you a hundred kids every time you make sweet love, please, point her out." A LA FIN
Ultra pro trump anon goes to equestrian, but doesn't turn into pone or stay human. Instead his soul is held within a MAGA hat which is dropped in the middle of town. Anyone who puts on the hat hears anon, who will consistently attempt to persuade them towards his beliefs and use them as a gateway towards promoting policy. Chaos ensues.
>>141202 >Aryanne >A nation for all people, and a nation for all people I've been toying with the idea of a Fallout: Equestria fic where Aryanne is part of an anti-war movement that wants every species to have their own home, while also starting a version of the United Nations in the Crystal Empire. Her idea is cut short by the Great War shortly after living through an assassination attempt - her body is placed in a stasis chamber for medical care before the bombs fell.
From there, I've got all kinds of ideas. Changelings that act more like The Thing than how they are in the show (due to a curse from their Zebra 'allies'), as well as some other creatures of various species.
It's been puttering around in my head for ages, and now with the release of Season 8, I have dropped all plans for the project. It would look like I copied the show - and a bad episode, at that.
MLP-FIM will inevitably die in the foreseeable future. Maybe give it another shot in a year from now. It would be a shame to waste a good idea. MLPOL could not some more writers if we are toi survive the coming year.
>>141537 >Good idea You think so? I could try to condense it into 'green text style,' (although I have no experience writing that way) or I could attempt to write it and download it here, for posterity.
I haven't done any writing in a long time. It would be nice to see something I write get some kind of response. It might even be…nice. Too bad I work a lot.
if you feel genuinely inspired about it you should give it a try if that is your thing. greentexts are best served in small doses, though. Writers tend to write themselves in a corner with longer stories. maybe you can keep the setting as a part of a greater arc where you set your greentexts in.
>>141540 Well then it is settled, Germanon. I will write some green texts based in Fallout: Equestria to the best of my abilities, just to get in some practice.
>>141322 Nice. >>141504 Why not just give Celestia a MAGA hat and make her go full Trump? Maybe even Luna. I'd read that. >>141543 God's speed Japanon.
I kind of want to write a CYOA/Quest featuring a crossover between mlp and RA1. The only issue is that my writing is not the best and I'm not sure if there would be any real interest here.
>be American archeologist >Cold war era >Asked by government to help Navy find Argatha and the Nazis. >Nazis are rumored to have run to the Artic at the end of the war. >Be called to look because of small quakes in the region >The Soviets are raceing you to find the rumored Agartha >Argatha turns out to be real >Argatha has Equestria in it >The Nazis have intergrated into Equestria for the past 20 years and are viewed as a part of Equestria. >The American solders are ordered to arrest any Nazis on site and capture their magic research >As the Americans and Equestrians clash the Soviets show up >Que conflict
Think Atlantis meets Stargate stuffed with redpills. I wish someone would write this.
>>141274 Ok, so i wrote what would be the end sequence/near the end sequence. Is it worth writing this thing? and, is my writing skills ok? >Near end sequence The weight of the world rested over those tiny, fragile shoulders, how could they stand is a wonder. Looking around the room, staring at the window, nothing felt right. This can't be happening, why, why does it burn on the inside? How can i fix this? "There's just no other way" she murmured softly. Silently, and ashamed of herself, she made her way to the window, with tears filling her eyes and the shadows laughing at her weakness, she felt the breeze to be her only shield from such an insufferable situation. Gazing outside, there was but the faintest of starts in the sky, its twilight. "It's better this way, no one is going to miss me" she carelessly spitted the words to herself, trying to get conviction for such a vile act. She leaned on the window, the cold breeze still caressed her mane, carrying within itself one last chance to desperately cling onto life. "It would be so easy, to end it all" As the room grew darker, the sun lowered and the starts shined, the room grew colder and the twilight had ended. There is no escape. "Funny" she said, as a warm presence was felt on the room. "You choose to appear just now?" there was no reply, but for a deafening silence; She felt desperate but couldn't cry, her eyes had run dry, out of tears a long time ago. "It’s all right" she peacefully stated, giving one last gaze at the sky, the stars where especially graceful that night. "It's not like it matters, really…” "It would be so easy, to just end it all" "So easy…" -
>>141686 Holy fuck this is an awesome idea. like, an absolutely amazing premise. I really hope someone will do something with it. You know what? Fuck it
"It had been more than a day since we left Halifax. Or at least it must have been. Yesterday I went to lunch in the Cafeteria, enjoying a scoop of what must have been meatloaf. I can't say I expected more out of a diet made for a submariner. I spent the afternoon on a bunk going over notes, then fell asleep for a period of time, how long I know not. But the men who shared the room with me had gone about another shift, so it must have been 12 hours since the last. They did not say where we are going. I only know that a Thresher-class Submarine like the U.S.S Haddock has an official speed of 28 knots, and that's only what we know. We must have been far north by then. I hadn't been awake long, till a man who seemed a bit too tall for the cramped submarine came into the quarters.
"Dr. Dover," the tall man said to me. "You're wanted for a meeting." I gathered my my bag, a notebook and a pen and followed him down the corridors to what seemed to be an officer's mess. When I got there, I noticed that there was a man standing before them at the end of the room, with a map of Greenland before him. He had on an officer's uniform, but from appearances he was no part of the Haddok's crew, not even Navy. There were a number of men and women also sitting. Three of them I had recognized from the university. I knew they were here. They were there when left Halifax. A few other faces were familiar, but many I didn't recognize. There seemed to be a squad of U.S. Marines in the room. The man at the head of the room spoke "Ah, our guest of honor arrived. Allow me to introduce myself. I am John Druit, Lieutenant Colonel United States Air Force. I understand you are Harold Dover, Ph.D in Archaeology with a specialization in Subterranean structures." "Uh, yes sir" I answered awkwardly. I had some familiarity with formal meetings and hierarchies when the University convened meetings for whether professors should be granted meetings. Those were hell, and being in a military situation was even worse. "Well, now can you tell me why you are here?" "I" I stuttered for a moment. "I understand there was a Earth quake off the Coast of Greenland. I wasn't told much more. But the dean came and spoke with me, and promised this would be a great subject for a book, and that I would be cleared if I went on Sabbatical." I paused for a moment, and looked at him. Then looked over the other men in the room. Then looked back at him. "I suspect that I wasn't told where we were going, or what we were doing, because the U.S. Airforce has missile silos in Greenland. The recent earth quakes must have damaged them. That's why you want me there. You must have read my work on World War 2 Flak towers and Uboat pens. I'm not sure why I was told this would be good for a book, since I can't imagine you'd let me take much of what I've seen out of this. I'm not sure what I could offer you that an engineer couldn't." Druit looked at me and then erupted into a fit of laughter, leaving me both confused and embarrassed. He continued: "So you don't know. Good, we've been worried the Soviets might find out. Bolshevik bastards get their scrawny little claws on this first. Couldn't have that. I sort of suspected that petite Dean of Liberal Arts might be a Red, thought we were telling him too much by hinting at what we were looking for. Didn't tell him where or when we were leaving though. But that wasn't a bad guess. No. Two weeks ago an 7.8 earthquake went off in Ellesmere Island. The Earthquake damaged a NATO weather station in Northern Greenland, so a plane contracted by the Danish government flew north from Thule to examine it. On the return trip, while flying over the coast, the pilot spotted human structures, previously hidden under rock and ice, not many miles North of the Arctic Circle. He reported what he saw, thought it must have been an old Norwegian whaling station, but of course an examination of the record showed none ever existed." He paused for what I what i thought was long enough for me to speak. "And that is why you are interested in me. Because you found ruins from the Second World War." He was pleased with that statement. "Correct, in part. A team was sent to investigate and they found what seemed to be a World War 2 era base. We knew the Nazis would leave makeshift weather stations on Greenland and Canada, we just didn't think anything so elaborate could have remained unkown for so long. they must have built it before the war, though as best as we can tell they kept it up and running at least until '45." He stopped for a moment and placed more emphasis on his words. "But we wanted you not so much for what you've done with contemporary structures, so much as for the subject of your doctoral thesis" With this statement I was genuinely confused. "Do you mean, my work on the mythology surrounding the subterranean city of Agatha." "Yes, that is what I mean." And looking out to the other men in the room, most especially the marine squad, who appeared to have been uninterested at talk that did not concern them,, he said "Dr. Dover, will you tell all of these fine men what Argatha is" "Uh, alright. Agartha is a legendary kingdom located at the center of the Earth. It is filled with extraordinary wisdom, beyond that of what is available to man, and much higher levels of technology. Several Occultists have looked for it. Ferdynand Ossendowski was among the latest.. He published manuscripts about it." Druit interrupted, "And he was a good anti-communist too." "Many of those in the Nazi party took an interest in Ossendowski's works. They went on Expeditions to Tibet and far off lands in the 1930s. Colonel Druit, do you mean to tell me the Nazis were looking for Agartha?" "No. They found Agartha. And we must too, before the Bolsheviks find it."
>>141202 >The year is 2219 >First person narration of a black 23 years old recon soldier from the world's people's united communist military. >His mission is gather direct information of what seems the first living planet discovered by humanity apart of earth. >He's deployed in one point of the planet far from the main centers of civilization like other comrades around the globe supported by satellite assistance. >He loses communication in entrance of one's of the planet's forest. >He encounters diverse hostile ''animals'' and almost get killed losing part of his equipment and supplies. >He rambles for days until gets out of the forest. >Communication is reestablished >Explains what happened, and he is threatened with an execution for failing in the task gived to him by the supreme leader. >In rubbish condition, follows the orders and goes through a green prairie with the sunshine and breeze caressing his skin. >Never has seen nor felt something like that. >He spots in the distance what seems a yellow equine carring a box with its mouth, and immediately throws himself to the ground. >Communication says that if he gets caught, he knows that they will shut down his nervous system for the greater good of the communist party. >Now wishes to be in the forest again. >Waits until it seems secure. >He gets up, and hears some type of language spoken behind him. >Turns around and without even recognizing the details of the figure, closes his eyes with intensity. >His heart beats with strength and all of his muscles are tense to the maximum. >Feels something gently touching his leg, and hearing again that unrecognizable language in what now he realizes is a soft voice. >Unwittingly, he is relaxed and does not feel fear anymore. >Opens his eyes, and the first thing that catches his attention are the blue eyes that are looking directly at him from below. >These are beautiful, but disturbing at the same time because of an unnatural size in comparation with its head. >Communication says that the target seems defenceless and ''friendly'', and should be examined. >New orders dictate that he must interrogate it with the necessary measures.
This is a short resume of an introduction to one story that I'm planning into. What do you think?
No mention of themes. No mention of what you want to say with the fic or where you want to go with it. It remembers to blether about grammar and spelling for quite some time, and it says "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome" as if that's a thing.
Referring to a character without using that character's name, to reduce repetition, is one of the oldest writing techniques out of there. If you're "like super fucking sick" of reading the phrase "Lavender Unicorn", find a new hobby, because reading fanfiction isn't for you.
>>141752 Amazing. This sounds a lot like "The Land that Time Forgot" and that is awesome. One of the greatest B-movies I saw as a kid - it was one of those soft redpills, like Battle of the Bulge.
>>141562 >>141544 >>141546 >>141551 Thank you guys. Your optimism towards the idea spurs me to action! I should post something on the 22nd if at all possible. I'm currently swamped at work, but for the first time in a while…I feel alive.
>>141842 Hoo, man. I'll think it over, but that might be a bit ambitious for right now. As I still haven't delivered on the fucking gratitude green, here you go. >>141266 >You are Anon. >This land has long been stripped of any semblance of life by the harsh elements, while water and food are scarce. >In other words, it's a fucking desert. >Taking a short draw from your now almost empty canteen, you prepare yourself to climb the upcoming sand dune. >Slinging the shitty keen sandles you were wearing when you were dropped in this wasteland around your neck, you begin to make the ascent with only your bare feet. >Digging your toes into the sand felt nice for the first while, at least until the skin on them began to burn and blister. >Nowadays you can barely even feel them, faint pings of pain being the only reminders that you do in fact have feet. >… >You reach the top. >… >She isn't there. >You'll give her two hours before giving up and throwing in the towel. >You owe her that much. >Your gratitude for all she's done for you. More?
>>141884 Nah man, that's MY story to write. I simply read your post out loud to myself as a challenge.
If you get dubs with your writing idea, you have to write it. Therefore, I'm going to write my Aryanne fic by this weekend. Somehow. I've got a couple volunteer things going on this weekend so I might have very little time…but I'm gonna fucking post something about it.
>>141884 I like it. It dispalys what one is ready to do towards people you are graful to. What one is willing to sacrifice.
I don't think you need to write more. You have already displayed gratfulness in the story so the reason for why Anon is gratful towards her isn't really needed.
However, you could expand by explaining in your own words what grafulness is or what it is to Anon. What I mean is he doing this because he feels that he is indebt to her and feels like he has to follow through by his own sense of fairness or is he doing this because he has started to care for her after what she did for him, both or some other reason.
Fug, I have that big and elaborate idea that I've been constantly improving and developing over the course of the past few months but I just can't motivate myself to actually write it. Hell I even wrote few thousands words at some point but it was when my english was pretty bad so it's just rubbish.
>>142135 Do it anyways. Even if it's shit at first, keep at it, and you will improve. Feel no shame in scrapping what little you started with and starting it again, if you think it necessary. And if you're serious about writing it out, it's best if you don't explain what it is for us ahead of time. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but I find that explaining your plot is a lot like explaining a joke: it kills any sense of surprise and build-up, and will flat-out kill your own desire to write it out, since you've already summarized it.
>>142141 Rusanon, magitech, industrialization, business, politics, non-ponies and country building. I can write quick rundown but it's gonna be pretty long because I seem to be uncapable of summarizing plot in some short way that makes it look acceptable.
>>142142 I planed to write it as a fanfic, not a greentext anyway so it isn't really a concern. Also I recently started wageslavery so while I have again some motivation now in contrast to my NEET times I don't have time nor energy.
>>141792 >black 23 years old recon soldier >"yellow equine" and "blue eyes" >Nigga meets Fluttershy >Fluttershy view nigga as a pet due to his inability to speak her langauge >Fluttershy takes nigga home to take care of as a pet >Fluttershy has a hen-house >Nigga has secured a supply of chicken
Sheeeit!
I don't mind the soldier in a equstria trope. It good be made fun. :)
>>141735 I like the fact that you wrote the end sequence first. Beause that is the best way to write, I think, because when you backtrack from an ending it is you ccan't write yourself into a corner as you can when moving forward from one point or when your trying to connect to dots. Although, in this case you want to connect two dots. Fluttshy moving to the city and this ending.
My main critism right now is that I don't think that Fluttershy is would kill herself over ssomething like this and that it is contrived that she would not just move away from there but maybe there is a way to make it work. You said afterall that she lost her sanity. Also, I don't like suicides in stories. What I mean is I like when people tries to stop someone from taking suicide, mourns over the loss of someone close who took suicide and someoe who deals with suicide but I don't like fiction that can in any way promote the idea of suicide to be a possible option or route to take. I am not saying that is what you are doing and I can also understand fiction that says: "This causes people to take suicide" but I am scared of the idea that someone who is depressed reading a story about suicide and because how the writter has made it so dramtic and purple prosed he interprets it as gloryful ending to his life.
This story can probably be good. Please, tell me more about it though. Why does Fluttershy gets depressed. I mean I don't like living in the city and I spent my childhood on a farm so I can relate but I have yet gone super dpressed due to it. But then again I still live on the outskirts of the city and I have a forest next to were I live so I have probably not really experinced the big city feel yet.
Started making some vampire shit like a week back and decided I'd post something to see if I was doing it right.
The ornate door creaked open slightly with nothing but a slight tap from my hoof, warm orange light spilling out onto the still wet concrete of the porch. I allowed myself a moments hesitation, then put on the calmest expression I could manage and pushed my way it.
The stench hit me immediately. Blood. So much blood.
The disemboweled and crushed body of a stallion lie halfway through a circular dinner table, placed in the middle of the living room. Ripped apart as though by a mad timberwolf and smashed through the wood by something more than pony, the mound was hardly recognizable as equine. Trailing strands of viscera were spread across the room, pinkish tubes smeared with blood. They added the faint odor of shit to an already overpowering smell. I barely had the presence of mind to enter and pull the door closed behind me.
“Ah, you're early!”
I breathed in, slowly. From her careful perch atop a crimson stained couch she grinned. My superior. My boss. The third most powerful tertiary in the nation. The driving force behind at least two fables.
Near Miss.
“I would have cleaned up by now if I'd known you'd be this quick.”
She hopped off of her seat and trotted over to me, bloody carpet squelching loudly underneath with each step. One of her hooves had a quickly closing hole blasted through the side, flesh twisting and bone cracking as they reached up to repair the wound. By the time she reached me the hoof looked as if it had never been touched.
She stopped, looking me over with a slight smirk. “I do appreciate the timeliness, though. So, then. You wished to speak?”
>>142386 Just the general feel of the writing. You are right, though. The idea is that the main character has working for this mare for a while before the story begins. This is the first introduction to her. Any references are explained earlier or later, but this bit is essentially devoted to the character only. In hindsight I really shouldn't have even posted anything, not in the early stages. Still though. It's too late now.
I was a very depress filly, I didn't know what would make me happy. Then one day while accidentally burning juice I fell into a juice crate that was being shipped to the gryphon territories. It turns out the town was overrun by gryphons and purchased from my grandparents for far under market value. While I was there I realized I had a special knack for swindling gryphons. Then I managed to take back sections of the town when the most cheap of gryphons arose. In an all or nothing bet he won, and I was thrown in sanctioned work camps where I met the love of my life Marmalade Daisy. Using the swindling powers I was able to get out of prison, and won the deed to a far away farmhouse. It may not be valuable to the gryphons but to me and Marmalade it's no longer just a house, it's a quiet happy and soon to be busy home far from the gryphons. If they ever come for these lands I know I'll be able to stop them for my family.
"VISITATION PROTOCOLS: ACTIVATED." >The clock had stopped ticking >The timeless space she occupied between life and death was once again interrupted by the automated systems keeping her there >Restraining her >A filthy cockroach wandered through the sliding glass doors to her chamber 'Perhaps that is unfair,' >she thought to herself. What little she could see through the window in her isolation ward did not reveal anything more than the desolation of the whole world 'Perhaps there is no more filth to wander in.' >The thought struck her as a joke. A dead world was a cleansed world - as a needle through fire. >If only her containment vessel would let her laugh >Her visitor skittered accross the detritus of her abode, it's antennae tapping gently accross discarded and long forgotten magazines >She wondered what was in them. Oh, how she longed to read! >She daydreamed of what was in them as her visitor wandered aimlessly, the faded gloss of the pages calling out to her soul >A pang of sadness passed through her as the roach made it's way out of the open doors, and they slid shut.
"THANK YOU FOR VISITING - ARYANNE. HAVE A NICE DAY." >The world faded into the space between life and death once more.
>>142408 I am neither an ex-pat or gaijin. They are slave names ffs. Plus, yes you can dictate your own hours as you can do that in most countries. If you are greedy and want money then work hard. If you are not greedy and want freedom then don`t. It is up to the individual how many hours they work and what kind of life they want. That is how I approach jobs. My last job interview (about three years ago now) the boss said he wanted me to work four days a week. I pointed to the advert and said it stated three otherwise I would not have bothered with the interview. He gave me the job and I had my three day week.
>Twilight ran trough one of the many corridors in her university, Canterlot's Royal University to be precise. >She had been studying in the libary on this spring afternoon when spike had coughed up a scroll. >It had been a letter from princess Celestia and it had told her to visit her at their usual private turoring spot in the castle. >Twilight was of coursed stressed since she assumed that she most have forgotten that they were suppose to have a meeting today or something. >The letter had actually just said that she should come an visit her but Twilight had precieved it as, "why arn't you here?" >Therefore she galopped, which Spike with his short legs barely could keep up with. >Spike called out to her from behind but had to interupt himself at times to breathed. "Twilight, slow down! *Huff*" "Not now Spike. Princess Celestia wants to see me in the castle immediately." >They exited the university. >Spike brought up the letter to his face as he ran after her. "But in this letter it doesn't say that she wants you to come immediatly. It just tells you to come." "Obviously, she didn't point that out since I am late to a schedauled meeting with her that I totally forgot about. Uhg! I can't believe it! How could I forget?" "Maybe you didn't forget. *Puff* Maybe you she just felt like meeting you today." "Ha, likely story. Spike, Celestia is the princess of Equstria. She rules the enitre Equstria. Do you thinkshe doesn't plan ahead. That she just spontanously meets with ppoines without planning for it in advance? She doesn't. I have learned a great deal from about planing and schedauling. I know she has a tight schedaule and a lot of responsiblities. She doesn't just meet ponies willy-nilly just because she feels like it." >Even though she ran, her focus was not on what was infront of her but on her current situation. She was beating herself up in her mind and imagining worst-case senarios so she almost crashed into ponies who stood in her way. She just barely avoided collision with three mares. When she spund around to apoligise quickly she saw that it was her classmates, Lemon Drops, Minute and Twinkle Shine. They seem to recognize her as well. "There you are Twilight," said Twinkle Shine. "We have been looking all over for you," said Minutte. >Twilight forced a smile on her lips. "Oh, you have?" "Yes, you see Moondancer is having a little get togather in the castle courtyard. Do you wanna come?" asked Twnikle Shine. "Oh, I am sorry girls but I am in bit of a hurry. I have a meeting with Princess Celestia today." "Oh, I see. Well, we will tell monndancer that. Don't let us keep you," said Twinkle Shine. >They all looked dispointed. It went from Minutte who looked lest dispointed to Lemon Drops who looked downright dejected. >They pun around again and began to run towards the castle. Spike saluted the three before running after her. >They were going to take a chariot to the castle but Twilight discovered that she didn't have enough bits on her so she went back to her apartment for her wallet.
>>142444 That's nice, it feels like classic MLP. Though, the last sentence is really rushed. No stressed groaning at not having her wallet (where does she keep it anyway?) and how far does Twilight live from the castle? Her family's extremely wealthy and is engaged to royalty so I doubt they live in an obscure part of Canterlot.
>>142446 You are right that is just transisional plot-point afterall. I might chang it for next update, which will probably happen tomorrow. Glad that you liked it.
>>142444 We never really did touch on the actual relationship between Twilight and Celestia in the show, which is a shame. She spent most of her teenage years near Celestia, and yet almost nothing is said of it.
>>142309 She would see him as a hairless monkey, which will be a good kek but at the same time, realistically accurate. His inability of speaking her language seems to be normal to us knowing that he comes from another culture, but to Fluttershy it will be pretty rare. She can talk with all sort of animals, but not with him, because intelligent creatures with already a language are not the same as pure instintive animals. Fluttershy will search for council in Twilight's knowledge, but her magic will not be useful with this rare monkey. They will need to teach him and take care of him, being this part of the story soft, funny and cute, but he knows and we know too that a new ''age'' will come to Equestria. The Age of the Hairless Apes.
>>143896 Indeed. I do intend on continuing, but I've got so much shit going on in my life I just want to sit and relax. I'll write another slice or two on Sunday - maybe a flashback to the rally that happened before the assassination attempt.
>>145212 Same here. I have a lot studying going on but if all goes well I will post next part tonight. I have intended to spend one hour each day writting this. I just not gotten around to it. Also if I don't get the time for it I will not post so I don't want to put any pressure on myself by writting this. I have a very clear plan on how to continue the story.
>>142444 These parts of the last post are no longer canon in my story: >They pun around again and began to run towards the castle. Spike saluted the three before running after her. >They were going to take a chariot to the castle but Twilight discovered that she didn't have enough bits on her so she went back to her apartment for her wallet.
>As Twilight was about to leave, she heard a voice from behind her call out to them. "Hi, Girls!" >She turned around to see who it was. It was Lyra, another one of her classmates. The three classmates she had just talked to did a one-eighty in their mood when they saw Lyra. "Hi, Lyra!" Shouted Minute as she made frantic and large waves with her entire hoof in the air. "How did it go? Did professor The-Rope-for-Typos give you permission for being absence next week?" >Twilight had just been about to excuse herself to the Lyra by explaining to the newcomer why she couldn't stay when Minute had asked Lyra these questions. Twilight got the feeling that Minute tried to keep Twilight from leaving the last question just because how it was worded. It was like tried to pique her interest by telling her more than nothing but still withholding some information such as what Lyra was going to do next week. Unintentionally or not, Twilight felt curious about what Lyra was going to do so she lingered for the moment. "After a lot of lot of pleading and reassurance that it would play a major part of my examination project he finally gave in." She beamed at them. "I will have an expedition and the university will pay for most of the expenses." "Congrats!" Minute bounced into her and gave her a strong hug. "I take it that it is an archeological expedition then?" Asked Twilight. She told herself that she would leave any minute now but now when Lyra had appeared she felt it was harder to leave then before. >Lyra looked up from Minute. Lyra seemed a bit surprised that Twilight showed an interest in her work while Minute fought to keep her nice smile intact and not letting it turn into a knowingly smug smile. >There had always been a silent but mutual respect and liking between Twilight and Lyra. They both considered themselves as intellectuals and viewed the other as such But they were actually just pretentious ;P. Lyra had on several occasions impressed Twilight enough for her to view her as such. On occasions had they gotten stuck conversing in a subject in a very autistic and nerdy way. But Twilight nor Lyra for that matter had never really made an effort to form a bond nor had they meet outside of school. They were just acquaintances and classmates in school. "Yes, it is. I'm going to visit the tomb of Sombra, which is hilariously enough placed in the everfree forest far away from where the crystal empire's border should be if it existed today. There are no relic or any other objects left there now. Just architecture and wall paintings after the first expeditions confiscated everything. And because it is in the everfree and has nothing of material value, anyone is free to enter the place if they can that is." Lyra lost herself in her rant but her enthusiasm was self-evident. >Twilight had been in the same class as her in middle school as well and knew that history was her favorite subject back then so it hadn't surprised her when she switched over from studying magic in high school as Twilight and she did to study history in college. >Lyra seemed to realize that she had jabbered on so she stopped and looked sheepishly at Twilight.
>>141322 >"For the last time, Anon, I am not interested in ponies!" "Listen, asshole," you start, looking this orange nigga straight in the eyes, "Everyone and their mother can see you need to get laid." >"I do not need to 'get laid', and I certainly am not about to share a bed with another race!" "See, this is what I'm talking about! If you were any more wound up, I could use you as a Beyblade launcher!" >You sidle up to the mustachioed man, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Come on, man, I'm offering to help a nigga out here." >"Your 'help' entails race mixing!" "First off, it's species mixing." >"You fuck--" "No, seriously, it's like porking aliens. And ponies are way, way hotter than asari, too." >"Th-that doesn't change a thing!" "Sure it does. Second of all, well, exactly that! Those gals are smoking!" >"Your wife isn't even a pony!" "No, she isn't, and don't get any ideas, fucko." >"What--?" "Back on topic. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a filthy, disgusting thot?" >"What kind of question is that?!"he yells at you."I had to deal with their ilk far too often!" "Yeah, back on Earth." >"And--" >Ahh, activating his almonds always shuts him up. "Now, when was the last time you saw one of those skanks, in the body of a pony?" >He thinks for a moment, before raising his finger. "That wasn't Rarity." >And down went that finger. >"Damn it." "Yeah, never. Trust me, these gals have got it all!" >"Even if you do have… some kind of a point there, what makes you think I would simply sleep around with them?" "Aww, you're a romantic!" >"No, but 'hooking up' is degenerate beyond measure!" "It's settled, then! We're hitting the town, tonight!" >"Wait, what?" "Bring your best suit and your pocketbook, pal-io, because we're gonna find you a date!" >"I never agreed to any such thing!" "Less whining, more dating!" >"You insufferable bastard…!" "In the flesh, in Equestria, and the only friend you've got here. See you at the club!" >Wow. >This wasn't going nearly as well as you'd hoped. >"You're a fuckingh liar, Ahnon,"other-Anon slurs."Theresh no pohnies here for me!" >Well, he's not wrong. >Most of the mares hanging around the club didn't want too much to do with either of you. >And the few that were interested, were summarily scared away by his talks of gassing griffons. >And lynching zebras. >And replacing the diarchy with a national socialist system. >That one really didn't go over well with Rainbow Dash. >Only thing that got him to stop nursing the bruise, was drinking. >And man, did you have to rein him in, to keep him from drinking himself into a stupor. >"You fuckin' cuuuuck…" >Funny, you'd think a guy like him could hold his liquor better than that. >Oh, well. "Hey, douchelord. Hang tight for a tick, I've gotta take a piss." >"An-and you're gonna talk about the Mighty Duck movies, after?" >Huh, so there is some memery in him, after all. >Anyways, you give his shoulder a few pats, and make for the bathroom, hoping and praying that he doesn't spot Zecora hanging around in the back. >Okay, you need a new plan. >The direct approach clearly isn't fucking working. >But what is there, even? >You guess you could hunt down some other ponies, but man. >About the only thing you're likely to find is lonely NEETs, uptight bitches, and Starlight drinking alone. >Not the best odds. >Ah, fuck it. >Mama didn't raise herself no dirty quitter, no siree! >One way or another, that asshole's getting his dick wet! >You barge out of the bathroom, striding over to the loner's corner of the bar. >You will find someone to-- >crash >"Yew bucking schtatist cuuuuck!" >Hello there, who's voice is that? >Making your way over to where the glass was heard breaking, you're met with the sight of a very drunk Starlight, unsuccessfully fighting off another mare. >A very yellow mare, her mane half black and even more yellow. >"I-it haschn't been t-tried, yet…" >"I oughta throw ya out'f a chopper…!" >Wait, what did she just say? >"Hey," the bartender yells, "Cut that out, both of you!" >"Bucker…" >"And Leslie, you're not getting anything else, until you pay your tab!" >"I doooo pay it!" >"All except the tax!" >"Tahxation ish theft!" >You can't keep the smile off of your face. >Pony God has answered your prayers, tonight. "I'll take her from here, barkeep." >"Anon? The heck's this all about?" "The will of chaos, my good booze-slinging friend," you say while sliding some bits over to him. "Consider her tab paid off." >He rolls his eyes, but takes the money all the same, while you start leading the pony in question along. >"Am I beingh d'tained?" "No, girl, you're being volunteered." >You spin around, kneeling down to look her in the eyes. "You're Leslie, right?" >"Leeshlie Faaaair." "So, what brings you to the bar, tonight?" >"Good timesh… nopony wants to stop the schtatist cucks…" >She's perfect. "Perfect! Listen, listen, I've got something to tell you." >You keep leading her towards where you left other-Anon, who thankfully is still there. "I've got this buddy with me tonight, right? Hates cucks and degenerates like you wouldn't believe." >"Mmmmmh?" "Anyways, he's super duper shy, but let me tell you, he thinks you're the hottest thing since recreational McNukes™." >The second she starts blushing, you show her to the man, himself. >"Thish big, ohrange cuck?" >"Hey, who you calling cuck, cuck?" >"N-no, you're a cuck!" >"No, you!" >"You!" >They go from calling each other cucks, to sucking face in the middle of the bar. >You smile, even as the bar staff kicks you all out. >And as other-Anon takes the fair maiden home, you offer some thanks to Pony God. >Your work here is done.
>>145281 "By the way Lyra, are you free for the rest of the day? Moondancer is having a small party. It is only us six here who are invited. I know it is sudden but do you wanna come? The more the merrier I say," Minute said. >Before Lyra could answer her, Twilight said: "But you"-She motioned her head towards Lyra.-"should know that I have already declined. I have a meeting with Celestia that I am late to already so I have to go now." >Minute pouted. "Oh, come on Twilight. The party will continue into the evening. Can't you come after you had your meeting with Celestia? Moondancer would be really happy if you came." >The way Minute had said her things had made Twilight feel a little guilty. Twilight guess she meant well though and didn't do it on purpose. Afterall, she didn't explicitly say it if you don't show up, Moondance will be sad and it will be all your fault. Not because saying that would prove that she did it on purpose but that sentence would be more clear on who was guilty of Moondancer's unhappiness. All the same, it still tugged at her heartstrings.
>>145741 >Twilight had never been much for parties. She didn't like crowds and felt uneasy among strangers. Neither was she that interested in talking to other ponies since they usually didn't share her interest. >However since only ponies she knew would come and they wouldn't be that many, she felt as might go to this party. She would be able to talk to Lyra there. Maybe I should go but I don't know how long Princess Celestia will keep me or if she is going to give me an assignment that will occupy my time. Oh, no! That's right I am late to my meeting with her. Ugh, how long have I been standing here? >Twilight clenched her teeth and eyes together, made a grimace, and put a hoof to her forehead when she realized that she had wasted a lot of time just standing there. "Sorry, I don't know how long my meeting with Princess Celestia will take. So I don't think I will come and I got to get a move on. I am already late as it is," Twilight said. >Minute gave Twilight a pleading look but then gave up and hung her head. "Okay, I understand but if you get the time, then you know where we are. I think it would mean a lot to Moondancer." >Twilight resisted the action of scowling at Minute. She didn't need to guilt trip her like this. It was weird she usually didn't do this either. Had she made a promise of on her behalf, that she would come? >Instead she instead she tried to give her a compassionate smile. "If I get the time after the meeting I will come but don't I can't promise anything." Except that I just did. How did I get coax into this? >Minute's head rose up and lit up. "That is great." "But I have to go now. Goodbye, everyone!" Twilight turned and waved them all goodbye before turning around and race towards the castle with Spike after her.
Posting the first bits of an idea I had some time ago. >Be Anon, driving down the highway at 90 miles per hour in the midday sun. >You'd be going slower if you had a choice, really, you would. >No one can say that you don't try to be a law abiding and productive member of society. >But this situation leaves no time for any obstacles. >You swerve your bright red convertible wildly around a transfer truck just in front of you, barely noticing it in time to avoid it. >Horns honk all around in panic and anger, and taking a glance back you see a pickup truck nearly careen off into the guardrail. >He's probably taking note of your license plate right now, getting ready to report you for reckless driving. >All the more reason to hurry. >You reach up with a hand to wipe the sweat that has gathered at your brow off. >The moment your hand is free it goes right back into its white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. >Can't afford to crash, not now. >The road ahead is mostly open, so you decide to push your luck. >More pressure goes into the gas pedal, until you're going at 95. >Wind roars through the open top of your expensive car, blasting your face with cold air. >Regardless, you still sweat more than you ever have in your life. >A small bead has gathered near your eye, and as you go to remove it you notice an exit ramp ahead. >The GPS on your phone helpfully chirps out a message that you can barely hear over the wind. >”Turn onto Greenback Road.” >Fuck. You're on the wrong side. >Sweat forgotten, you rush to get into position, clipping the front of a smart car with the back of your vehicle. >This one lets out more of a whiny beep. >You cross all three lanes in one desperate push, getting onto the ramp just in time. >The tires rumble as they hit the rougher pavement. >You sigh, mostly out of relief but also with a hint of frustration. >You nearly stick out an eye with the speed at which you go to clear out the sweat in your eye. >Again the tires change cadence, going to a smoother tone as they come off of the ramp. >You slow it down a bit, relenting to 70 now that you're off the highway. >Jerry should be just ahead. >You scan your surroundings for any gas stations, head jerking around quickly as you search. >Eventually you spot a large sign towering above you, the Shell logo proudly displayed upon it in bright yellow and red. >A few seconds later, a wide driveway appears. >You nearly oversteer in your dash to pull into it. >Not even bothering to properly park, you fly out of the car the moment it comes to a rest. >It could get hit by someone coming in, but you have more than enough money to pay for that if need be. >This is more important. >The door slams closed behind you and clicks as it locks, and you rush up to the front of the gas station. >For a moment you think that Jerry might not have fulfilled his end of the deal, but as your hopes begin to fade you spot a dark black van among the various parked cars. >Two men stand at either side of it, wearing loose t-shirts and ripped jeans. >They stare at you with stupid grins on their faces, looking for all the world like inbred retards. >Knowing Jerry, though, they are anything but. >One casually walks up to meet you, speaking around a large cigarette held beneath his thick moustache. >”Oh, hey there. Yer Mr. Anon, right?” >You grasp him in a stiff handshake and nod hurriedly. “Y-yes, yes, that's me. Sorry about the time. I was, ah, caught in traffic. Where's Jerry?” >The guy holds his hands up and backs away in response to your rapidfire response. >”Woah now bucko, calm down. S' fine. Jerry went inside for something, dunno what.” >You nod once and thank him, and just as you're about to head into the station the front door bursts open. >A man jauntily strides out, thin spectacles and a scruffy beard adorning his face. >He wears a thick sweater vest, its gray contrasting with a bright blue plaid shirt. >To top off the ensemble, a cap with the words “Master Baiter” on the front lies askew atop his clean shaven head. >Jerry Goldenrod looks over the station, head high, until he sees you. >A crooked grin splits his face as he approaches. >His large, hardened hand grabs yours in an exceedingly rough handshake that you have to work to maintain. >”Anonymous! I knew you'd pull through. Same tenacious bastard from college, eh?” >You warrant a nervous smile to him. “Yeah, couldn't let this one slip through. Vince seemed pretty excited. How's the situation?” >His mood falters just a bit, but rebounds quickly. >“Straight to business, I like it. This one's a bit interesting, actually. Nonstandard quarry, to say the least.” >You narrow your eyes. “Define nonstandard.” >His grin doubles. >”Eh, you'll find out. Come on, let's get moving.” >Jerry goes over to the van and hops into the drivers seat, both his flunkies piling into the back. >Reluctantly, you pull yourself into the passenger seat. >He cranks the radio up, and it starts playing this fun little top chart ditty from portalside. >The van pulls out its parking place at agonizingly slow speed, lurching around the pumps and out onto the road. >Jerry seems to be in no rush, going to 50 and staying there.
>>147249 Cont. >Once he's satisfied, he glances over at you. >”So, Anonymous, you're familiar with the whole Equestrian magic thing, yeah?” >You grunt an affirmative. >”And you've heard that they're using it in all the latest tech, right?” “I've heard rumors. Los Zetas is apparently cutting off unicorn horns and selling them. Why?” >Jerry pauses, then digs a hand into one of the many pockets of his cargo pants. >He fishes around for a while, and eventually withdraws a laminated square of paper. >He flicks it over to you, eyes never leaving the road. >You catch it inelegantly and flip it over. >A yellow furred unicorn stares back at you. >Off to the side, a name and an address is written in permanent marker. >Lemon Meringue, 35 Bluejay. >Oh. >Oh shit. “You're shitting me.” >His expression simply overflows with excitement. >”Nope. Vince wants in on the horn trade.” >Your mouth gapes open in disbelief. “W-what? Seriously? He doesn't care about the backlash?” >”Nah, said the profits were worth the trouble.” >You shake your head in absolute disbelief. >Vincent has always been a risk taker, but this? >This was practically asking for trouble. “Fucking-okay, fine. Whatever. How are we gonna do this, then? Fuck, how are we gonna hide it?” >Jerry rolls his eyes at your concern. >”I was getting to that. Look, this isn't just some random ass unicorn. We have a plan.” “Then fucking get to it!” >He sighs, scratching his head. >”Alright, alright. Jesus. Couple weeks back, we were skimming for opportunities and we found this ad on Craigslist. She,” >He gestures vaguely at the photo. >”Wanted to 'make friends', if you can believe it. Fucking ponies are weird.” >He shakes his head. >“Anyway, we've got a little meeting set up. We're gonna pick her up from her house and head out of town. Our cover is that we're going out for a party.” “I take it we aren't actually going to a party.” >”I'm getting there. We'll go out to Old Creaky and wait for a bit. Give her some drinks, get her off guard. Then, boom. We make it happen.” >He looks back over at you, holding your gaze for a solid two seconds. >”Sound good?” >You glare. “Oh, I don't know. Does cutting the fucking horn off of a pony sound good to me? Hmm, that's a real fucking humdinger. Let me get back to you on that.” >”Anon, you know how it works. I'd be out fucking bitches and getting high if it were up to me. We can't refuse though, not with Vince.” >You don't respond. >He's right of course. >Vincent would have your ass torn into shreds for not getting this one done. >He said as much on the phone call. >That doesn't mean you have to like this, though. >Jerry grimaces, but he doesn't say anything else. >The trip passes by in silence.
I have one more update to my story, which is not finished yet. That I will upload before i won't upload more story updates in three weeks since I have incoming exams. That update will probably be sent tomorrow. It is pretty much done already I just want to edit it a bit.
So what if anons control fluttershy but they're assholes? thank you based anonfilly poster for the idea >I don't want to do this. >They scream in my head, tell me that I want, need to do it. >But I don't. >I really, really don't. >"Come on you fucking pussy, smash! Smash!" >"Look at it, Fluttershy. It's just an animal. It doesn't care about you. Crush it. Crush it like it's an inanimate object. Because isn't that all life is? Chemical reactions and carbon?" >I'm crying now, just like I do every other time. >I thought that, if nothing else, I would get used to it. >I never did. >The poor, unsuspecting rabbit begins to hop over to me, concern in his eyes. "S-stop!" >I don't even know who that's directed to. >It could be the rabbit, it could be the voices. >Maybe it isn't any of those. >Maybe it's just the situation. >"Smash! Smash! Smash!" >"Use your hooves. It's easier." >"Hahah, this is gonna be sweet!" >My muscles twitch even as I try to back away, moving me forward. >The bunny stops just in front of me. >He chitters, and though I don't have the presence of mind to understand, it is filled with worry. >I shake my head, even as my hoof raises high above the bunny. "R-run, please!" >He doesn't. >"SMAAAAASSSHHH!" >"Do it!" >"YES!" >My hoof slams down with power that, just a week ago, I hadn't known I had. >A squeak of confusion and pain bursts from under it. >It becomes a screech as my full body weight leans onto it. >Then, it ends. >Crack. >As control returns to me, I jerk my hoof away. >My eyes are blurry from the tears, but I can see enough. >He is pressed facedown on the floor, the back of his head caved in. >His blood is everywhere. >I stumble back, whimpering incoherently. >"FUCK YEAH!" >"Very good, Fluttershy." >"Best one yet, guys! Alright, what should we do next?" >They begin to chatter about their next torment, but I can barely hear them. >I fall over, staring at the furry, limp body. >This is my fault. >I thought about the stray animals. >The unfamiliar ones. >I gave them the idea. >And now another innocent creature is dead. >I should die with it. >I should kill myself right now. >Even though they would stop me if I tried, I can't stop looking at my hoof. >It would be fitting if I died by the same hoof that has killed so many. >I knock it aganst my head experimentally. >If I'm quick enough, I might be able to at least hospitalize myself before they make me do something else. >Yes. I will do what I need to do to stop them. >As I raise it for a strike to the temple, one voice rings out like a bell. >"Yo, let's make her eat it!" >No. >No! >"Holy shit Anon, damn. I like it." >"Thanks." >"Hey, Flutters! Go over there and have some breakfast!" >I rise. >I move. >I eat. >And I scream. >It's loud. >Not loud enough to drown out the laughing, though. >Nothing is.
So yeah this is not finished and if i continue this story during my summerbreak, I will redo this part. I just wanted to post this. It has just been laying here.
>>147156 >>149605 >Shning Armor exit the castle through the front entrance. He had brief Celestia on their, the equestrian guards', preparations for the coming war. At the end of their talk, Celestia had sent a letter to Twilight, asking her to come. >Shining had asked why Twilight had been sent for and Celestia had told him that she had intended for her to participate in a specific part in the coming war. When she had told him everything he had gotten mad. He didn't want Twilight to be involved in something dangerous like a war. Celestia had told him that her role in it would be on of support and that she shouldn't really be in any danger but. >He could actually understand his mother's perspective when he joined the military or when she found out that he was interested. She had been opposed to the idea but had given in when he got his qt mark. >After their talk Shining had fulfilled his duties for the day and took his leave. As he walked through the royal garden towards the castle gates, he thought he would wait for Twilight to pass by if she didn't take to long, that is. >It took about twenty minutes to walk from the university to the castle and it was about ten minutes since Celestia sent her a letter. Maybe this will take too long. Well, I can wait five minutes till it is twenty minutes since Celestia sent the letter before I leave, he thought as he arrived at the gate in the fence that led into the garden. >The sun stood high and its heat beat down on everyone below. He didn't know why Celestia had decided to have so much heat this spring. Maybe she had some fixed idea about variations per year since this year was definitely hotter than the last. It had been like this since last week and it kept getting warmer. >Suddenly, he saw someone running on the road ahead of him that lead to the castle's outer walls. It was his beloved sister, Twilight. Why are you running? >Since he stood on a little hill he saw her even if she wasn't that close yet but she closed the distance by making a small teleportation jump. >Now when she was closer, she was quite the sight. She panted loudly, beads of sweat ran down her forehead, there were few spots of her regular purple color instead most of her fur had darkened from sweat,I don't know if ponies sweat. Do they? In my story, they do that now anyway. her mane was the messy and poor spike that he just noticed looked like was he was about to die from thirst. >Shining was about to tell her that Celestia doesn't execute ponies for walking when he realized what was going on. >He shook his head and sigh. A mischevious idea was born in his head and he was her brother, after all, it was only natural that he would carry it through. >He ran down from his position towards her and shouted from the top of his lungs. "TWILIGHT! Where have you been? Celestia is furious. You have made her wait for hours. Get in there!" >Twilight, who hadn't noticed him before, looked at him with a face of devastation and shock. Her eyes were wide, her pupils had shrunk and her lips shaped "O". It made him feel a little guilty and it almost made him stop but he wanted to see how far he could go. >What he had said had caused her to magically regain some energy as she sprinted past him towards the castle. "Wait for Twilight "What?! "Remeber you don't have to do everything Celestia tells you. She can't force you I won't allow it. >Spike, however, had not regained his energy. He had stopped next to Shining and just stood there trying to recover. He panted loudly, sweated profusely and held his upper body up by grabbing onto his knees and push the rest of his body up. He looked up at Shining with an annoyed look. >Shining was surprised how had he realized? "That wasn't funny, Shining, "said Spike. "Yes, it was!" Shing laugh. "But how did you know that I was bluffing?" "Because I knew all along that she hadn't missed any meeting. As if Twilight the neat freak could miss such a thing." Spike looked at him with a deadpan look. He had caught his breath again and stood up. "I guess I better get going," Spike said. >Shining's face hardens again. "Yeah, there is something you should know. Princess Celestia just wanted Twilight to attend and another mare. It is a secret meeting so you are not really prior to that information but I going to let you in on the gist of it. Let's talk about it at my place. Come one I treat you to ice-cream on the way there.
So I want to do some writefagging maybe, and wanted to make use of this sites text features I know I can do this this and this aswellastheseones I know other text colors and sizes are hidden features somewhere. Anyone else know how to do them or willing to spoonfeed me? meanwhile, here's some old pics i got from drawthreads back in the day
>>149905 You've got pretty much all of it. Except for this. There's no other provisions in NPFchan for increasing text size, or getting extra colours. Though honestly, I don't consider that a very bad thing, given some of the ocular cancer that some FIMFic authors weave with custom formatting.
>>149909 Red is an old 8chan feature inherited here. That should set you on the right path. As for the bright green and red text, those are the mods making an addendum or public ban notice on a post. Notice how they're always in parentheses, and always at the end of a post.
>>149908 >ocular cancer very true. sometimes it works out well, but maybe it's best to be limited in format >>149999 aha! thanks leaf too bad it doesn't mix with other formatting oh and checked >>149909 I is very new
Time to rework some of my old stories a bit and repost them here
reposting some stuff from 4mlp, mostly testing how this style looks. might keep using it if you find me, pls don't read my other old stuff. it's garbage
Equestria Land of friendship and kindness Yeah right You sigh as you stare up at the starry midnight sky You know better than that now Life isn’t even close to being ok Magic really is op Your physical strength is lacking compared to earth ponies and even many pegasai Dexterous hands are nothing compared to unicorn magic All the ways you tried to rip off good old human inventions has been a bust Either magic already did it better, or ponies wouldn’t see the need That’s if you can even hold an audience with one at all these days Ponies casually ignore you at best Some will actively avoid you or find excuses to leave your presence Those are the nicer ones Most just throw things at you So it’s no wonder you can’t get a job You’ve been living in a cave out in the everfree for a while now Your camping days as a boy scout have served you well enough Only got sick from eating strange plants 5 times In 2 years’ time, you’d say that’s not bad All this time alone hasn’t been a good thing It has let you think Think far too much Trying to find a point to keep going You still haven’t found one There’s been the little things of course Side projects that never actually amounted to much Even once completed A rush of accomplishment, quickly dying out with nobody to share it with The log cabin-esque front entrance into your cave The chairs The table The bed/hammock The paintings of places you’d been back home The woven doormat saying “Welcome” And so many more Sure you’ve had to go dumpster diving for some of the supplies and tools In the dead of night When nopony was awake to throw rocks Lots of ponies had a habit of throwing away fixable things and buying new ones Last time you were there, you found a broken acoustic guitar It seemed like a waste, so your last project was patching it back together It took a lot of time, patience, and a little ingenuity But you now have a reasonably decent sounding guitar on your hands You think about playing it You remember how much the ponies love their music Too bad they’d chase you out as soon as you’d sit down to try and play … You remember when you first arrived You spent so much effort even getting here, never mind that it was a one way trip Celestia had been kind to let you stay in her kingdom Ponyville had been the obvious choice They seemed so nice at first But the novelty wore off Soon you were just a bother Then a nuisance Then nothing Must have up and forgotten you by now Haven’t seen a one in about 9 months And now here you are Leaning against an apple tree right next to the forest All dressed up, washed and shaved (Can’t go out looking like a slob after all) A guitar in your lap and a knife in your hands Tonight was the night, you’d finally decided No more pain, no more loneliness … They really are beautiful here You mutter to yourself, your head still turned up Being out in the countryside in a world with almost no pollution made the sky look so filled with stars Nothing familiar, but still far nicer to look at than anything you’d seen back on earth You hold your gaze for a time After a while, you finally turn you head to the knife in your hand And the guitar You’re still not sure why you pulled it out here Who would even be there to listen? The sky? The wind? … You? … Ha. Why not You mumble to yourself with a sad smile Might as well go out with one last song What to play…? You think for a moment Your smile grows bigger for a moment when the idea comes It’s so dumb But somehow it feels right People would call you a faggot, but what do you care now Nobody to catch you being one You take a moment to get the first notes Then you play … … A final glance at the vast expanse of stars is the last thing you grant yourself You take the knife and slash at your wrists, sure to cut deep Almost immediately you feel light headed Sounds dull around you, as does your sight as you gaze lazily at the stars The blood loss is getting to you fast With a yawn, you close your eyes and lay limp against the tree Wonder what the afterlife will be like? … Guess you’ll see … …
—-A FEW MINUTES EARLIER—- You are Applejack Something has been keeping you up Just one of those nights you suppose A walk around the orchard ought to do some good A clear night like this always does good You look up at Luna’s night sky Such a pretty sight You don’t think Princess Luna gets enough compliments on it I oughtta write tah her tomorrow… You absent mindedly declare Your thoughts are halted when a sound rang out from the edge of the orchard Curious, you walk towards it As you get closer, you start to see a shape next to one of the apple trees It subtly moves and the sound comes again This time as a hauntingly calm melody What in tarnation..? The sounds stop But only for a moment Then the singing begins https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4 Something about it is hauntingly sad, but somehow beautiful You can only stand in awe as the pony keeps playing When they do stop, you head over to them As you get closer the figure moves and you see more of who it is It has long arms with hands at the end of them Too small a frame to be a minotaur … Hey isn’t that the critter that moved in a while ago? You haven’t seen him in a long while Wonder where he’s be- Oh sweet celestia what’s he doing?! He has a knife, and… Oh no Stop! Please stop! You shout as you run to close the distance But you’re too late You see the shape of the blade running hard against the arm What must be blood dripping down You keep shouting, but it has no effect As you get closer and closer, you see his eyes start to close Oh no ya don’t sugarcube! But the eyes still close You finally reach him where he sits still, leaning against the tree with pools of blood forming where his hands lay in the dirt Stay with me partner, please You whisper as you try to think of what to do In an instant a plan arrives You rip two strips from the shirt and quickly tie them around the cuts Then you throw him over your back And turn to the orchard gates Not far past them would be the hospital Thank Celestia they’re open at night You murmur to yourself as you run You hope you’re fast enough… …
>>150141 i thought it would be nice to have the gap. i was wrong
—-Later—- Beep What is that noise? Beep You try to think back Beep You were… Beep Oh yeah Beep You had slit your wrists at the base of a tree Beep Why the beeping? Beep Did… Beep Did someone save you? … You tune out the beeping and try to focus on your senses You are laying down on something Likely a bed, maybe a floor You try to move your legs Then your arms Then your fingers All systems respond Everything is sore You listen past the beeps There’s some ambient noise of birds from outside Faint sounds of footsteps can be heard a ways away from you Are you in a hospital? You take a deep breath … Yep That’s the smell of a hospital room alright You slowly open your eyes, wincing first at the light You are met with a plain grey ceiling You try to think of how you got here Did you wake back up on earth? Was it all a coma dream? … That might be nice… You feel a twitch at the side of the bed ’s gonna… …. right… A voice mumbles incoherently With more effort than you’d like, you roll your head over To your great surprise, you see none other than Applejack Sleeping at the side of the hospital bed, looking a little worse for wear You can’t fathom what she’s doing here Did she… Drag you here? … Your thoughts falter as the orange pony stirs again This time opening her eyes They lock with yours … For a miniature eternity, silence reigns You with a blank stare in your eyes Her with a hopefulness in hers Finally you break the silence with a raspy whisper Why? With only a second’s pause, she replies I heard yer song… It was so… sad She pauses for a moment You wonder how much of it she had heard And why she bothered to listen Ah guess… Ah never thought to see how you were doin… She starts You look at the pony questioningly You had the rather distinct impression that nopony cared But… You start to rasp ‘n’ hack Oh! Here sugarcube Applejack hooves over a glass of water from a bedside table You feebly try to reach up to take it You can’t seem to hold on very well As you try, you get a glance at your arms Both are covered in bandage wrap from the elbow to your hand With a helping hoof, you guzzle the sweet fluid down, lessening the dryness Thanks You almost whisper Applejack nods, then continues I can’t help but feel so wrong for not even noticing. Looking back, you had been avoiding everypony before you… disappeared. She softly stated More like they avoided me… You mumbled She didn’t seem to hear it though She was staring right into your eyes She looked almost… ashamed I’m so sorry Sorry Hmm Your snort a little at that She couldn’t know what it was like Living the way you did You are about to make a retort when the door at the end of the room opens up and a white pony with a pink mane walks in Oh! I see you’re awake. Applejack, could you leave us for a moment? I need to ask our patient some questions Applejack looks at the nurse, then back to you She hesitates Then replies Sure thing Nurse Redheart She gets on all fours again as she slides off the bed She starts to go, but stops She looks like she wants to say something, but stops I’ll be outside She tells Redheart She throws a last glance at you You should sing more She whispers at you, then turning and walking out … The door closes Well now Mr.… I’m going to have to ask you a few questions…
>>150149 lets try reversing the dialogue colors — It’s been a week and a half You had spent 3 days in a coma-like sleep You stayed in the hospital for a few more days Applejack visited you a few times She even brought your guitar It had some bloodstains on it where you held the neck Almost dragged a smile at ponies reactions After being let out, she insisted on walking you home There wasn’t much point in trying to dissuade her She was surprised as you lead her into the everfree, but she didn’t say anything Just looked around the forest, keeping fairly close to your side Until you made it to the door Home sweet home You bitterly remarked Applejack seemed stunned into silence She followed you in, eyes wandering over all your creations You… built all this yourself? You simply nodded in response The house and everything in it was hand-made, or specially repaired by your own hands You neglected to tell her what a lot of the things were But many, like the paintings, needed none You haven’t said much since waking up at the hospital But Applejack had kept near when she could You suspect she may have shoved some things on her siblings to come see you You feel like it might mean something Something… more, but you’re not sure Maybe at least this pony would keep you company You see that the water jugs had filled while you were gone With a shower of sparks, you get fire going to boil some water Guess it’s as good a time as any for tea Aj stayed silent as you shuffled about, marveling at your paintings All this time… and I never knew… She muttered to herself What? Briefly her face flashed something possibly resembling a smirk Hard to tell though, and you quickly forget it nothing sugarcube She says, placing her hat on the table in the center of the room You hand her a mug of tea One of the 3 you managed to repair She quietly takes the cup, and begins sipping at it As do you … … … Some time of mild small talk later, AJ puts her hat back on I have to go back to the farm She stated softly You didn’t respond Though your shoulders slumped a bit Not sure if she noticed Can I come by tomorrow? She asked, a spark of hope in her inquiry You smile This had been one of the most pleasant afternoons in a long while You’d love to have another one Could you bring a pie? It’s been… a long time You reply, with a bit of a goofy grin A soft smile emerges on her face as well Sure thing, sugarcube She declares You show her out the door, guitar in hand As you watch her take the winding path away, you ponder for a moment Something feels like it has changed You feel… Optimistic again It’s a good feel Applejack turns a corner and you can’t see her anymore You grab a chair and sit outside with the guitar A song has come to mind Maybe not a perfect fit But it hits close to the mark, you think And you begin to play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnxPKY7NSoM
>>150151 hmm. I think I like plaintext for first person, orange for others. Might depend on the green
I was thinking of trying my hand at political writings, with a story of crime lord anon anyone got some reference material? like green/fics that focus on the political incidents resulting from something designated as a sole ambassador of its kind, an inter-dimensional alien, etc
>>150168 > in quotes is spoken; that left without quotes is thought eh. we have italics for thought now I've always used no quotes and no green for anon speech, and either quotes in green for everyone else or use quotes plaintext. always quoted green for inner thoughts but now we have things to delineate i could also use no plaintext at all and just alternate green and orange
as for me, aj_x_anon is harder to write because I have to tie in the family and inevitably the extended family. lots more specific types of interactions to deal with in the old noodle. But I too enjoy it when it is done
I thought that we could start having a writing contest for new writers on this thread. I was thinking like this: Everyone who wants to participate posts at the story before the deadline which is Monday next week, on the eleventh June. I know that it is still Saturday for you Americans. There will be a story prompt for each week. It should be quite simple. I will show you an example how it can look like further down in this post. To win the contest you have to meet all the criteria in the story prompt and if more than one contestant has managed this, the one that gets the highest roll for their story wins. After that new story prompts may be posted and the ones with the highest roll will be the new story prompt. The intention of this contest is not to see which of us is the better writer but to inspire new people to write or anyone for that matter. It can be hard to write a big and complicated story if you haven't written anything before. The stories will, therefore, have a low word count with few criteria so that it will be easier for new writers to accomplish it. To finish a story also gives the feeling of actually being able to complete something and that is a nice feeling I would imagine. Here is the story prompt for this coming week. >The story is between 1000 words and 2000 words. 1000<w<2000 >It's a horror story. Meaning there is a ghost, murderer or revelation that causes the main character distress or something. >Applejack it the story's main character. >The setting of the story is in or near Appaloosa. >There is a anti-griffin subtle joke in the setting or a character who says a off hand comment of the sort. It only needs to be something like: "You grap bits like a griffin," said Applejack. It doesn't need to be complicated. The other funny part about this. Is that we might see completely different stories from each and everyone. I mean one of us might ripoff cross tremors with this prompt or write about Applejack meeting a crazy cactus. If you don't like this premise but like this idea, I would like you to stick with it just this time so that we don't spend to much time on that but more time to really accomplish this. Because if we manage this time it will be more of an official thing that we do. What I mean is I don't want us to let this run out into the sand since we all had different ideas for stories and couldn't agree on one in common. I hope I don't sound like a pretentious patronizing fag Of course, you can just not participate and do your own thing. The story only needs to be 1000 words long because it is easy to write 1000 words during a week. It takes max a few hours and it doesn't even have to be good. It can literally be most basic of scenes executed horribly bad. Since I have exams this week. I won't be able to post on Friday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHf-YnY9k7k