/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

Wait. Why am I bleeding and bruised.

Also, do to changes in rules, I don't think I am allowed to namefag anymore, except with my discord/site name

As motion resumes for our players,... motion does not resume for our players. What does happen is that the Hydra resumes snapping and tearing at Torcuil, but he almost immediately falls backward as though he's no longer moving,... because curiously he finds himself unable to move. Tracy also finds herself stuck in that pose of ecstacy , unable to break free of some form of magic that appears to suddenly be operating.
Only Trump and Thez seem unaffected by this sudden change,... oh and the Hydra too.

>>1802
You got smacked good and proper last session.
Wait wut? Namefag/discord wut?

Besides, we're savvy, ur the guy who keeps saying what Trump is doing

>>1804
So... how injured am I?

As Torcuil falls over sideways, the Hydra looks around for impending threats, before turning for a moment to look behind it. You can't see what its looking at, but for a moment it flinches. Its seven heads scream and it begins to charge away from the group, before with a sudden jerk collapses, dead.
As the dust settles, a <cli-cli-click, cli-cli-click> can be heard slowly making its way toward the now settled battlefield. An enormously tall and weirdly slender figure begins to appear through the dust, it stands approximately 20' tall. It can't be made out, but the top appears bulbous and awkward while the rest is slender and insectile.
>>1806
I'd put you at 55%. You're not going to incur any penalties except movement, until healed that is.

Pic is clearing. Dark red are bodies, black is new figure, colors correspond to characters (giant brown cuz I don't have plaid as a color Xp)

As the figure steps more fully into view, you can see that the figure is actually two. Walking around at about 12' tall is a slender and wickedly barbed, evil corrupted, praying mantis on steroids lookin' thing, robotically prodding its way along. At the end of several of its legs are wickedly jagged claws and it has a sinister air about it.
On its shoulders stands an orc.

Thez breaks into hysterical laughter
"You STILL have that thing! That's too good! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The orc is not amused. He stands at about 6'5", and is garbed in traditional orcish shamanic attire (beads, bones, feathers, that kinda shit). Though clearly aged and weathered, his muscles are finely chiseled almost as though of stone. He gazes a perma-glare across the settled battlefield.
"You. Explain yourself." He says to Thez.

[1d20 = 15]
>Thez's eye twitches
Now hold on a sec. I know this is weird and you're feeling familiar 'cuz you recognize me but everything else is weird, but that doesn't mean,....
He cuts her off in a sweeping, dramatic gesture:
"If you won't do as I command, then DIE!"

A small green beam fires from his finger and bounces harmlessly off of her.

Apparently, that was supposed to have worked.

"You're still not done with that, are you?" she boringly observes.
He gathers from within and about himself, does a crazy song and dance and from his hand bursts forth a shower of flame that immediately extinguishes its self as soon as it makes contact with her.
She yawns prolongedly.
"Look here zombie-fist, if you wanna have a go, lets do this, otherwise the alcohol-computer is online," Thez shrugs.

[1d20 = 6]
The orc jumps from his crazy-bug-mount, makes a gesture toward Thez, and begins to chant.
The bug slowly advances on her in a weird sideways-forward advance before one of its largely apparent (it has so many) eyes fires a red beam at her.

Thez easily sidesteps the creatures red beam of hate, and calmly closes distance.
"You know I'm gonna break it right?" she taunts the orc as she enters a ready stance.
From his back, the orc produces a wicked staff that looks like a chunk of 6' farming fencepost. He then drives the staff of weird metal agains the ground, the section he was holding turns into a finely wrapped grip, while the remainder turns into an obviously-magicked 4' flanged and barbed and burred and wtfe'd monster-club of metal doom.

As his black mantis-thing slowly flanks Thez, he readies his ridiculously abstract bar-mace.
>Plz note: during cinematics, die rolls are DM-in person (on my kitchen table).

The orc closes into striking range.

Thez - attack of opportunity (due to orc's advance into her threatened area). Ready stance
(at this point I am going to depict some of the finer points/maneuvers of combat), attacking incoming attacks (-4 to attack called shots).
Orc rages, and is surrounded by swirling magic (divine power, atk bonus up major).

[1d20 = 1]
Mantis-creature fires a grey-ish beam at Thez which

[3d20 = 44]
Fails as the creature stumbles on some random debris.
Thez maintains ready stance.
Orc does a song and dance and doubles in size.
To clarify, the orc is now about 15' tall. He carries a 4.5'diameter wicked bar-mace of mauling which he menacingly waves at/around Thez (who is still bored) before attacking.

[1d100 = 74]
His first swing misses as she vaults over it, the second she spins underneath, and the third squarely connects, concussively striking at her lower and upper extremeties a the same time, such that several dislocations can be seen as her body contorts.

But then the Thez that can be seen getting brutalized and the Thez that is standing curiously behind the orc, watching the orc brutalize 'the Thez' become apparent. The brutalized Thez slides apart as though made of shadowy sand.

That didn't work

"You've been slacking on your melee skills, Slag"
Thez chides before golf-swinging 'Slag' about 51' away into a tree-line (with her broom).

After a moment of satisfaction, Thez turns to Trump, Tracy, and Torcuil (who is on his side, but can see her).
"That's Slag. I'm probably gonna have to rough him up for the next hour or so. Please, for your safety, go inside the pyramid so I can proper stomp this ugly motherfucker.
>Thez beams a smile before dispelling the magical hold on Torcuil and Tracy.

Slag stands up from the edge of the tree-line, clearly enraged by being so unceremoniously sent flying. His strange mantis looks at him, unsure how to proceed, its arms waving menacingly in the air at Thez. He makes a quick gesture in her direction and performs another song and dance, this one causing small black flames to erupt acoss his arms, increasing the air of darkness around him.

Thez - Ready stance
Slag - Free action - direct mantis; cast unholy aura.
Mantis - Fire cold beam

Thez fails(?!) her saving throw, and is hit with a beam that causes small ice crystals to grow across the surface of the strike point, and she winces visibly, but is otherwise unmoved.

Thez - Ready stance - Dimension Door on successful attack. Charge 'Juuken'
Slag - Barbarian Rage
Mantis - Close distance and full attack

She holds up her left hand beckoning Slag to 'come get some', as he starts to Hulk out. The mantis closes on Thez's side. She voluntarily forfeits her attack of opportunity and the mantis unleashes a barrage of attacks swiping once, twice, a third time, then it attempts to bite her, swipes yet again before zeroing in on her with its eyes.
She smiles.
As the creature fires another beam, this one yellow and arcing with electricity, Thez vanishes from her spot and the beam passes harmlessly through. She appears simultaneously in the air behind the Mantis, and strikes it in the back of the head.
"JUUKEN"
As she strikes it, the Mantis' head explodes as though hit by a cannonball. The insect begins to flail around and swipe at the air before curling up on its self and becoming motionless.
"I told you I was gonna break it,..." She goads as Slag, his over-the-top chunk of angry murder in hand, charges her in a bloodthirsty rage.

So, we're just watching this?
>*clamps down*

Thez - Ready Dimension Door; Strike any incoming attacks, wait for opportunity
Slag - Full Round Attack
As he gets faster and faster, he attempts a particularly aggressive strike.

His speed and strength visibly augmented, Slag rashly swings (almost) wildly and without coordination, while Thez playfully dances around the battlefield. One swing after another connects with either air or the ground (He gets 4 when he's raged).

Thez - Rabbit stance, stunning fist, sweep
Slag - Full Round Attack

A second round of swings brings him no closer to even hitting her, let alone doing damage. Still, he shows no signs of tiring.
"Should I even bother using my fists? I know, I think its time for some rabbit-style!" She begins a fluid motion with her hands and feet, ultimately ending in a low crouch with one leg extended to the side, her arms held above her head like bunny ears. Slag lets out a blood-curdling roar and brings his bar-mace down upon her head, or starts to that is.
Upon lifting the mace over his head she did a quick little hop forward, bringing her body forward leading with her now crouched legs,... which both then kick forward in a blow that successfully knocks all available wind from his body, and jars him enough to cause him to drop his weapon and double over. Landing in a crouch next to him, her tail whips out and sweeps his feet out from under him landing him on his back in an undignified heap. The wind is still knocked out from him, so he loses any further action this round.
"You must realize by now that with the size of that thing, there's only two ways you can come at me. And now your bug is dead,...." she laments. "But MINE'S not!" she brightens and pulls a small fly-pin from her hair, which she throws to the ground.
Slag grabs his mace and begins to climb unsteadily to his feet, as the fly-pin grows to a length of about 9'lx4'wx4'h, wearing a gilt-covered saddle. As he readies his weapon, she steps on the fly which takes off immediately, but not before he fails to land another two blows.
The fly flies up about 20 feet, just outside his available range, where she just stands there dispassionately waiting for his autistic rage to wear off.

>>1827
For the moment. You're welcome to interact/input at any time. Slag comes from an Orc/Barbarian tribe where dominance is established through combat. Though he always loses, he always tries to put her in her place.

Before I go on, a note about ready-moves. Instant actions (pointing, saying something) can be done at any time, and a player can assign a number (not excessive) of ready moves during combat, though only one instant spell is allowed per round. So saying, Thez uses a strategy of readying a dimension door spell, while maintaining a stance from which she will strike any incoming melee attack. The effect is that she blocks any attacks that she can't outright dodge (assuming she has enough attacks per round) and upon a blow landing she releases the dimension door spell, avoiding any damage.
Battle monks are haxx.

Normal actions are essentially 2/round except attacks, and except spells (1/round only). More than one attack per round requires a full round attack, which attacks with all available (unless otherwise desired). Some spells also require a full round to complete, but those are less common. Also, to cover a large distance (30y or more) takes a full round.

Players are not required to be that specific with combat, but are certainly encouraged to at leisure. It allows for a slightly more dynamic combat, where characters can in some ways anticipate their opponent's move and counter it strategically rather than only by a chance die roll.
This is especially useful with mages, where a timely dispel can be the difference between lulz and burning.

Concluding the cinematic fight:
Slag, unable to reach Thez during the last few moments of his rage, thrashes at the ground around him with his weapon before observably returning to himself, his breaths becoming labored and his posture one of obvious fatigue. Still holding her fly, she rotates around its thorax-vagina so that she appears seated on it, but inverted and on its belly.
"Are you doooooooone yet?" she cutely teases.
Even more furious at his disgraceful display, Slag's eyes shoot darts at her before he finally decided he has had enough. With a sharp glance toward Torcuil, Trump, and Tracy (hey, trip T's), he storms toward the pyramid.
"Don't mind him, ever since he first showed up he's been all "Die!" and "I command you!" and "Silence!". I get the impression he is used to being in charge, but here NO one is in charge!" She says looking now at the T's, her ponytail dangling upside down 'above' her head. "Anyway, I'm gonna get busy bringing these things inside," she indicates the recent corpses of the giants and hydra (incidentally, there's still zombie corpses littering the area,... just thought I'd mention). "Trump and Torcuil could use some medical attention, and I should be done by then".
For the next (undisclosed amount of time) Thez will be seen occasionally whoof(that's the Dimension door btw, think Nightcrawler from X-men)-ing around the corpses, and slowly dismantling them. First she collects all the armor from the giants, then she starts harvesting resources from the hydra (scales, teeth, claws, choice bones, etc.). As the last rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon, there is now several piles of neatly sorted items over by the workshop.

The giants didn't have much on them except for their armor (for those that did), but that in and of its self is huge (not only cuz giants either). There are now sufficient stores of metal to craft any sort of melee weapon or armor you would want. The Hydra however, is where its at. The scales of a Hydra grant damage reduction to whatever armor they are applied to, and the teeth can be used to augment bladed melee weapons. What's more, the smell of cooked hydra emanates from the mess hall, in addition to a large (several cows worth) pile of meat (as a commodity or w/e) thats now being stored in the walk-in.

>>1835
Isn't Hydra blood deadly poison? Hercules tipped his arrows in it to instant-kill several monsters.

>>1836
I won't be nit-picky though....

>>1837
Well, not as specified by the listing in the Monster's Manual, but (whoosh) yes, poisonous (plz note, poison use without poison skill can have consequences ^_^). Thez didn't know that in any event, so its all still outside in a pile of hydra.

>>1840
Thez notices Tracy watching the overall proceedings. She says "You're a little banged up yourself, you want a healing potion?"
>offers a small vial of bluish liquid

Incidentally, if you're wondering where she is pulling/putting everything from/to, she is wearing a small hand-crossbow quiver at the base of her tail that is of a particularly useful and spacious variety.

Doesn't Football give Trump the power to heal himself and others?

>>1847
It does, and himself.

>we started 18 hours ago
Shit im laggin
Give me a min to read whats happened

>>1849
You new to the game?

>>1850
OH SHIT I DONT HAVE MY FLAG
Nah its PrinceAnon here, just traveling

>>1851
Want me to change your flag?

>>1852
You.. you can do that?

>>1853
He can. He's a mod.

>>1854
Ah
>>1852
Sure if you'd be kind enough

Ill be back at about 9

[1d20 = 10]
It looks like I'll have to be a gladiator for quite a while before I can have my happily ever after.
What buffs could I get from making a killer outfit out of that hyrdra/giant skin?

>>1826
Is there a codebook I can use for those attack patterns?

So when we startin?

>>1858
It's on cinematic mode, so you can do shit now, I guess.
You might want to start by healing your character at the football shrine

*Proceeds to scrape giant skin*

>>1859
Good idea
>slowly crawls to football shite with hydra teeth sticking out of leg

So I guess Trump uses his football powers to heal himself

*Grumbles to self while prepping giant's leather*
"Fucking purple bitch, sticking us all in an endless gladiator tournament..! I'm going to have to reschedule the ceremony..."
*dissects hydra's head for brains*
"I think purple is more of my color.."

>>1862
Speaking of "salvaging" shit
Is there anything magical thats part of/on the hydra?
I want something to show for this shit

>>1863
Kek's female form is Snek (Heket, actually). Perhaps materials harvested from the body would be of use for idolic or alchemical purposes.
Use your imagination.

>>1864
Yooo...
Tracy can you get me some bones, scales, and maybe a bit of blood?

Sorry fam, took a short nap. Reviewing latest

*Glares in annoyance*
"Come and get it yourself, dumb frog-summoner!"
It's all sitting in neat piles. Try googling it to look up magic/symbolic uses of snake body parts.
*Abandons giant's hide and trots off to sharpening room*
"Useless junk. Didn't help the last guy who wore it one bit..."

>>1865
There's enough bones and scales that you can have some without really affecting the number. I mean as a resource I'll let you know when expended,... but you could probably pull off 3 suits of hydra plate before running out, and you've only got one armor wearer. So yeah, go nuts.

>>1866
No problem "fam" Am I cool now?

can i join?you goys got a char sheet?

>>1867
I keep forgetting my name...

>>1869
You are no longer full of little holes and teeth.
>>1870
What kinda character?

>>1872
minotuar?

>>1862
Trump successfully heals himself also.

During cinematics, you can just declare "Heals self" and poof, its only during actual combat/ongoing game that I'm gonna be more particular.

>>1873
Hmmmm. Interesting. Class?

>>1875
cleric/crusader?

>>1876
Soo,... Lawful Good?

>>1870
>char sheet
Honestly we're pretty much winging it at this point
But I have no objections to you joining
>>1867
>>1868
Ohh I have an idea
Snakes where used by Isis to get Ra's true name
Also cleopatra dies using snakes sticking to the egyptian theme
Do we need to interogate anyone?

>>1878
Not at the moment. Last living contact was the giants, and that was half a day previous. Good thinking though.

>>1877
chaotic good
i wanna genocide the zebras

>>1880
Nice.
Yeah, quick reiteration: Everything is a resource. ^_~

>>1880
My nigga
Lets see
>renewal and change
Does this mean I can use them for healing and transformation?
>hoards the scales

>>1881
What a magnificent pali. It is done. So when you say minotaur, you mean "Mlp-world" or no?

>>1881
As the resedential meme wizard I must do it
ALL HAIL THE GLORIUS DIGITS
DOWM WITH THE ZIGGERS

>>1884
of course

>>1885
>Pony Rogue
>Scottish Meme Wizard
>A Padalin of Trump
>A Minotaur Cleric
What a goddamm team

>>1886
Do they have a preferred weapon? Other then that (and a name) we can run with this. Let me grab some pasta.

>>1885
EIN ARYANE
EIN PONIREICH
EIN PONI

>>1888
Nice trips,
Mmmmhh pasta

>>1886
K. Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on.

>>1891
Oh kek

>>1888
a zweihander
my name is infernius

>>1891
i go to the sliding door and open it

>>1894
>zweilhander
Wew lad
>>1893
Spoiler: spoiler

>>1894
Oh shit son. Wew. Okay. Please note, its a 2-hand weapon only.

>>1897
>2-hand weapon only
>2-hand
I would have expected that with a name zweihander

At the moment, Thez is in the Mess area tinkering with a weird scepter-lookin thing. Slag is also Mess in the corner, looking like a zombie fist (we started calling him that 'cuz his skin is green and when he gets mad his face scrunches up like a zombie fist,... see like that right there).

>>1898
Just making sure,.... ^_^

>>1897
i excpected no less

>>1899
Stop stealing my digits
In the mean time I look for any books on potions

>>1902
You immediately find a whole section devoted to potions. Specific interest?

>>1903
Transformation or healing

There's plenty of information. If you're looking to synthesize healing and/or transformation potions, you may consider yourself having sufficient information. Unfortunately, there's not much in the way of ingredients available, and while the mess hall can synthesize food, it can't recreate the fundamental properties that make components effective. Also, sorry for dubs.

>>1901
Alright. As a cleric, you're welcome to use a zweihander, and you can use some armor, but only piecemail (think chainmail with spaulders, greaves, and occasional plates).
>not part of the Kreigsmesser master race Xp

>>1906
whats behind the door?

>>1905
Okay, can I at least have a reciepe for one and/or the other so I can realize how screwd I am?

>>1907
>Kreigsmesser
>Igonring Glorious Highland Claymore
Why are you even here

>>1908
There is a world outside the clearing you know Xp
>>1909
The Great Unknown (tm)
>>1910
Sure.
>>1911
Holy pistol-GET batman!

>>1912
>kek confirms Claymore master race with pistol-get
Haha plebs
Anyway, whats the recipe?
YOU CANT JUST SAY "sure"

I cannot go: I must fulfill my role as the psychotic stalker.
*trots off to football shrine to find the Trumpadin*

Suddenly Thez springs to her feet.
"Alright! Enough of this lagging around! I say the time has come where we explore this strange world and learn of the cities and the people and the world we find ourselves in and get back my record-contract! Anyone feeling up for it?
>>1913
I'll do you one better. If you're out and about, you can make a simple potion out of simple ingredients, the availability of which can be determined with a die roll (by the way, you might want to "grab some potion making stuff). More complicated potions require the equipment you can find here in the 'library'.

>>1909
Please note, your character hears none of this. He's still facing the door.

>>1914
Where is Trumpadin anyway?
I want to talk to him about this "foot-ball"
And its magical propertys

*Ignores Thez and creeps up on Flashy using assasin stealth*
>>1917
Idk, but he's gonna get >raped if he doesn't act soon.

>>1913
Oh cool
WHAT DO YOU MEAN RECORD-CONTRACT?

>>1918
>raped
Sheeeeeiiiiiiiiittttttttttt

>>1917
I'm at the movies

>>1921
Oh ~noooo!

>>1921
HE LIVES
Sidenote what movie?

>>1916
noted senpai

So whats Thez doing?
Are we realing going on an adventure to who knows where to do who knows what for who knows who all for who knows why?

The Football shrine's power heals all damage and status ailments, but characters can still take damage within the shrine, correct, even if it's healed instantly?

>>1926
"Unless you wanna stay holed up here,... me, I wanna know what's changed in the Game and get back my record contract"
She's standing on one of the tables, but she's only 4' tall normally, so she stands slightly taller than Trump.

>>1927
Pretty much. Its essentially a spot where you can <click> You're healed!

>>1928
Eh, Ill go
Anyone want to join us?

*brandishes giant's bone, looming just behind the praying figure of Flashy, his tacky, golden armor glistening in the light of the football*

>>1931
Oh shit,
Wait
>bone
Am...
Am Inthinking too far into this?

*WHAAAM*
*kKnocks-out the completely unsuspecting Paladin, just long enough to drag him away from the shrine*
"Praise football." Tracy snickers

Thez calls after: "Here, you might want to drink plenty of water!"

Also confederate anon/Infernius: You're in the room to the right of the one with an X on it (that one was Tracy's room).

*Drags towards personal room, Humming to self*
"We're going to have some fun tonight, ~Flashy."
>*Binds limbs with giant's sinews*
"Good, old-fashioned, all-Equestrian FUN!"

>>1941
>>1942
*stops* I dont like where this is going

I step outside seeing if there is any supplies at all

"Its times like this I'm glad to be Neutral Evil," Thez giggles and turns back to Torcuil. "Well, you mind waiting a moment for them to,... re-emerge?"

>>1943
What kinda supplies? If you mean food, you can carry about 2 weeks worth of dry goods, readily available in the Mess. Bedrolls and the like are also available.

>>1945
Nah, I meant like wood, corpses, magical runes predicting your moms damnation. you know, the norm
>>1944
Eh fine you bastard

>>1945
Assume this is all entirely premeditated and that I already brought all the crap I'm about to use.
(Still humming)"~Hmmhmm..!"
>*tosses on bed*
>*Begins undressing. Keen-edged knives slicing through retarded gold armor like cheese*
>*whispers into ear* "It's about time I reminded you of that fateful night you promised to marry me, ~Flaaashy!"
>>1945
I want kinky equipment and drugs. If it's available, I would've already found it.

>>1940
alright m8, can i perception to listen for any sounds?also ima newfag how do i roll?

>>1947
Okay first of all, you are welcome to slice through the straps and binding of his armor, but no the keen edge does not just go through armor. Secondly, there's not much to having 'kinky' when you've got leather straps and buckles (there's plenty, 4 giants and their clothes got resourced), and 3 there ARE drugs, but you haven't found any sign at this point

>>1948
Put
dice 1d20
In the email feild
>>1947
no please, you dont know what youre doing here

[2d8 = 10]
>>1948
Enter in the e-mail field:
Dice (# of)d(sides)
Sample roll is "dice 2d8"

[2d8 = 5]
But yes, any sort of listen or skill check is a d20

Also, if you do a dice roll, it will remain in your e-mail field

*tightens bindings*

>>1949
I go outside, sick of dealing with these idiots
Is there anything out there?
>>1954
STOP

>>1955
The three brown circles are now piles of dead things, ignore the lines, but the clearing is relatively,... clear. In the distance, on all sides is a towering wall. The wall is segmented in the north, suggesting a gate or archway, but its obscured by trees.

Whoops images
Also ignore the lines, thats from last time

>>1954
Spoiler lewds Xp
>>1956
Nope. Even though next door (unbeknownst to you) someone is about to get raped, you hear nothing.

Wrong clearing image,....

[1d20 = 11]
>>1959
ok i pose menacingly then
shitty oc related

In all these years, *rummages through sack* I've run into quite the multitude of drugs. Ezekiel taught me a few things about Zebra alchemy...
*Produces hydra fang, still attached to venom gland*
"Ezekial used to pay through the nose to get his hands on these. The venom is similar to those of the Nephila variety: in it's normal dose, it would stop your heart instantly, but when diluted a bit..."
*Squeezes into one of Thez's water bottles*
".. It would do exactly the same thing.. after a couple of hours, if you're not given the antidote"
*produces used syringe from knife-cozy*
"In the mean time, it should ensure that your little stallion down here is at his best tonight.."
>*pats bulge in Brads lioncloth*
>*injects*

>>1961
>is not shitty, and you get bonuses for oekaki/memes
So you're opening the door?

[1d20 = 10]
>>1963
yes i am

[2d6 = 12]
>>1964
You explode. Or rather, some sort of spell that was cast on the door is set off, causing an explosion.
Everyone else, you hear an explosion.

>>1965
Faint laughter can be heard

>>1965
>everyone
Except Tracy and Trump, but Tracy feels a decent size vibration.

>>1965
i get up and rush out into the hall ready to fuck up whoever (i think) blasted me

>>1968
You're in a long hallway, with a row of doors on one side, including the one you just came from. On the other side of the hall at either end is a door that is also open. In the middle of the hallway is an old and charred sign that says "Please do not firetrap the rooms". You don't see anyone.

>>1969 i kick open the door to my left

[2d6 = 7]
>>1970
You explode again. You now have some healthy charring on your fur. More laughter can be heard from far off.

And for those like me who are anal retentive about having BGM, I've got a rabbit set up.
https://www.rabb.it/ninjas

>>1972
i yell "who the fuck keeps doing that!!"

>>1967
[lewdness intensifies]
Black veins slowly creep across Trumpadin's body from the point at his junk where he was injected. His whole body begins to shiver in a paralytic spazm and he breaks out into sweat, but he remains silent. His tiny, incompetent chink-boner springs to life, twitching at the potent venom's affect.
"There, there... Flashy~kun" She whispers in an eerily-uncharacteristically gentle voice. "It'll all come back soon enough..."

>>1975
A masked face peeks its head in from down the hall.

>>1976
Uhm,... k

>>1975
"Damn, look at the size of you." the masked figure says. "I wouldn't recommend opening any of the other doors."

>>1977
>>1979
YOU BLAST ME!?

>>1979
The figure steps fully into the hallway, standing at 4'2", wearing an assortment of tattered skins covering their body. The hair is a bright pink, pointy ears, and dark purple skin. In their left hand is a blackened old broom.

>>1981
who are you and where am i?

>>1980
"No, but you have to admit it was kinda funny,...." shrugs.
"Don't worry, unless you see a 2' tall guy with golden hair running around, that won't happen again. I'm Thez <extends a shiny-black, clawed hand>.

>>1984
my name is infernus ,i am the mighty cleric of the rage god Adolf Hitler *accepts handshake^

>>1983
I better not get into trouble for this
>>1982
Where, that's a good question. Welcome to the world of the Game. This world was designed by entities and beings well beyond our comprehension, because they were bored. Throughout your life (you died by the way) you made an impression on one or more impressionable entities, and so upon your demise they decided "No, I like that dude, I wanna see more of him". So you find yourself here, like the rest of us. The building you find yourself in is inhabited by several others, with their own origins and proclivities. Let me show you around for a bit.
>removes mask

>>1985
K, so starting from the lower right of that 1F image, moving counter clockwise:
"This facility has been here for an unknown amount of time, but has been essentially provided for our use. Innumerable parties have come and gone through the Game, and now it's "our" turn (approaching northern corner/steps).
Up the stairs to the immediate right the library/magefag area, to the left is the mess hall/workshop and the shrine to Football (ur new so u won't get that meme yet) and at the top of the stairs is a dais for super cereal magicks.

>>1988
where can i fight dirty stripefags?

>>1989
"Stripefags? I don't understand. Please note, this world exists on a crossing point of many dimensions. I may know what you mean, but not know it by unfamiliarity with the words you use."

>>1990
You could,... or we could kill things and THEN you could get all rapey,...

>>1991
you know the horse that arent horses but with stripes. theyre trying to replace the earth ponies

>>1993
"Striped,... horses,... zebras?"

>>1995
yeah! that word

>>1996
Oh I'm sure there are plenty. Its been a while since the Game last reset (it does that every so often, inexplicably), but last I recall there was a heavy infiltration from the nation of Obongo. Don't quote me on that, I haven't even been outside the wall on this 'go'.

>>1997
i dont know what you are saying but, you need to take me to the stripefags.

For FOOTBALL

>>1998
>almost threw me off
Well in that case, come on there's a guy outside who's fixin' to kill things uhm, explore!

Torcuil?