I drive people apart, whenever i need to form relationships with an stablished group of friends, say, some classmates or coworkers, they always end up pitted against each other, friendships always break down around me, i need to be a self outcast, reserved to myself in my own bubble and abandon real, natural social interaction, simply keeping the most basic and essential communication to do my job.
I truly feel like vermin sometimes, i often wonder if i should even keep posting here, not giving examples nor ammunition for anyone, but i've honestly unwillingly stirred up shit here a couple times already, and i have the feeling certain anons have started to see me as a rather weird/insidious poster.
>"This is an /ub/ thread"
Probably, if it wasn't for the following bit
My ex-gf was into what i can only describe as satanic-larper shit, and she was literally yandere tier, the whole school used to go crazy over how she cutted her legs, arms, abs and even her breasts once, drawing a heart or a pentagram with my name inside it, this was middle school i might add she figured out to which high school i was going to, and she followed me and everything.
I think it was not until high school that t started to feel like this, what can i make of this shit?
Don’t mind anons. They don’t know you personally. Meanwhile, don’t let any ex psych you out by messing with your head. I know that is easy for me to say and I can’t fully understand what you are going through, but I honestly encourage you to not let it effect you. The source of any power over you from these experiences comes from you allowing it to repeat in your head and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that you will be messed with.
I hope you stick around. There might be some fights around here now and again, but people here are pretty nice and don’t actually want you to leave over a petty argument.
Without knowing your specific circumstancea, there are plenty of contexts in which you are neither the perpetrator nor the cause of social dissolution. Im not trying to clear you of anything, but your description strikes close to home in alot of ways.
Something alot of people wont either admit or acknowledge is that social group behavior is largely based around maneuverability and artifice, based around the dominance/competence hierarchy. Not to say that people are ENTIRELY artificial, but when people cohabitate socially/environmentally it is because there is gain/benefit for them, at the compromise of diminishing non-cohesive behaviors, discussions, opinions, or otherwise non-sanctioned individiality. The inclusion of more people into the fray causes a shifting of polarization in the other participants. One is always going to be more or less 'on the same individual page' than others, and this is where social preference comes in. But when the group reaches critical mass (as relates to the overall cohesiveness of the shared relationship) then smaller and/or spinoff groups will form, and the group will dissolve. The greater the diversity of the group, the faster and more readily it will dissolve.
Sidenote, this is the reality behind the doversity agenda, to deliberately cause a breakdown of social cohesion, but I digress.>your ex
Consider doing some personal work to attempt to identify why you were drawn to this girl in the first place, but dont beat yourself up over it. If a memory is cringe-inducing, evaluate it so that you dont repeat the cycle/pattern.
Thanks for the insightful post anon>your description strikes close to home in alot of ways
I am sorry anon, but i am also kinda glad that am not entirely alone here>why you were drawn to this girl in the first place
Forgot to say we broke up as soon as the weirdness started.
She was kind of lonely and a pushover in a really shit school, God knows i have a soft spot for that, am still not sure about a LOT of things i did during my time there, i blame my parents for moving to such a fucking shithole town.>>161555
I am so, so sorry you had to read that, but i've been trying to get myself to post this for some time now, even if it's just to get it off my chest>>161556
Thanks anon, you poners are truly awesome
I get it tho>but dont beat yourself up over it. If a memory is cringe-inducing, evaluate it so that you dont repeat the cycle/pattern.
If mistakes were made, lessons must be learned, thanks anon