/ub/ - Überhengst

Becoming better


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Exodus90FellowshipPrayerSacrifice.png
Exodus90ImGoingIn.jpeg
Exodus 90
Anonymous
krEtq
?
No.2016
2017 2104 2118
Starting on January 13th and ending on Easter will be the Exodus 90, an extended period of self-denial, prayer, and reflection. Although intended for Catholics I think anyone can join, at least in spirit. Here is a sample routine and it really seems to be something that can help turn you into an übermensch:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OAPCjiHAxv9c5tyYfRr0zno5bTW-6dUz7rsP5nfCjIk/edit

I'm fully intending to participate and I wonder if anyone else is interested. The hardest part for me would be not being able to browse or post on /mlpol/ for three months, but I'm facing a hard addiction to Youtube videos and cutting away the internet entirely can only be good.
Anonymous
LrWGo
?
No.2017
2018
>>2016
Before you go, could you give a brief synopsis of the idea? Like, it sounds like Lent except more extensive/lengthy, but I can't get the link to work to read more about it. I'm neither Catholic nor Christian so could you give a 'for newbs' rundown?
Anonymous
krEtq
?
No.2018
2020
>>2017
My bad, the main site is at exodus90.com
It's a 90-day regimen including the following:
>daily prayer of at least 20 minutes and up to an hour
>cold showers only
>heavy physical exercise
>full night's sleep
>no alcohol, sugar, snacks, sweet drinks, TV, movies, vidya, or frivolous expenses
>spiritual/sublime music only
>computer use only for essential purposes, phone use only for necessary calls
>fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays
>regular correspondence/meetings with others in the program

Aside from the prayer it would be an ideal secular regimen as well. It's 90 days long so as to break the Coomer out of his addiction and set him free. This is my first time trying it but apparently there's an app that tracks your progress.
Anonymous
Ox5zL
?
No.2020
>>2018
What the fuck is that?
Also this sounds good, I'm in. Possibly. What is that music?
Anonymous
yG3fl
?
No.2080
2081 2082
About to start, wish me the best of luck!
Anonymous
VspVI
?
No.2081
>>2080
Good luck, see you on the flipside
Anonymous
TUF51
?
No.2082
1540442216138.jpg
>>2080
Good luck Anon! We'll be here when your done. Sounds like you are on the path to becoming a pic related.
Anonymous
qTq7V
?
No.2083
Thank you for this, starting on it tomorrow when the fast starts, already doing a diet I started back in November so adding some faith, meditation, and more self improvement is always welcome!

Anonymous
pS4Ps
?
No.2084
inappropriate.jpeg
>no computer usage
>Download the app!
Anonymous
a23pL
?
No.2086
2093
I, Silver, am doing this.
no app tho. Fuck phones
fuck all tech

Anonymous
a23pL
?
No.2087
2093
What is sublime music?
Week 1 in Review
Anonymous
93Y1U
?
No.2093
2105 2106
GeorgeWashingtonPraying.jpg
OP here, I left a lot of things unclarified so I decided to come back to review Week 1 in retrospect. Keep in mind that I'm allowed to break one ascetic rule each Sunday so I decided on "nonessential internet use." The program strongly discourages relaxing any technology-related discipline, but as I am using this to write a review (this is the only thread I'm visiting on /mlpol/) and to research what exactly makes Chan culture superior to other website cultures, it isn't for pleasure. Note that this is atypical and usually you agree on discipline relaxation with your fraternity; for this reason I don't know if I will provide further updates on progress.

I am highly satisfied so far as I feel like I've made progress, albeit a small amount, since I've started. The hard restriction on entertainment has freed up my time to be used productively and I have been able to catch up on sleep as well as use my waking hours to get things done I wanted to finish months ago. I've been able to work out three hours every two days and already I feel more invigorated. I recommend using workout articles on ArtOfManliness as a reference (this counts as "essential" internet use), eating lots of protein on exercise days and having your "off" days align with fast days, going rucking on those days instead. One hard aspect is the lack of music; with its absence in my ears my mind always recollects tunes I've listened to before the program. Also, without the ability to vent as I usually do on Youtube or /mlpol/ I found myself fuming the first couple of days whenever politics entered my head. Prayer has helped in regards to that. The first few days will always be tough, particularly if you aren't used to cold showers (I am so that wasn't a problem), hunger between meals and on fast days will be rough if you're used to snacking, and you'll be tempted with lewd thoughts if you weren't already doing nofap. If you're an Applefag then get the "SelfControl" app which will allow you to set a blacklist of sites that you can't (easily) bypass.

Of course the question, "why have an app if technology is prohibited" has been raised. It's simply the easiest means by which to give you the information you need (including Bible passages, guides and questions to ask yourself), and checking it for a couple a minutes a day is quite different from browsing the internet; you'll also get helpful periodicals via email and I'd wager that email is an essential function. Unfortunately I have a Chink phone which can't install the app but using app.exodus90.com works just fine.

As for fraternity, you'll have a group of upwards half a dozen people whom you can rely on for support just as they'll rely on you. Keeping in contact with them is acceptable electronic usage as long as you aren't chatting about inane things for hours on end. Exodus90 is spread by word of mouth so most people, even in most parishes have never heard of it. If you belong to a parish I recommend bringing it up and going together since the program has everything you need. If there's an existing fraternity it may not be too late to join, as one member of mine joined four days late; alternatively, you could start at a different time. One other member of your fraternity will be your "anchor" and vice versa with whom you can discuss your daily progress. You should meet your fraternity every week with a good time being Thursday evening for dinner. If you're lucky a priest may become your spiritual director and you ought to plan for group outings such as hikes.

The three core aspects of Exodus90 are asceticism, prayer, and fraternity. All of them are essential and lean on each other as the program is a holistic healing and strengthening of body, mind, and soul; you cannot dispense with any of them. The virtues of asceticism are obvious and the next post is a statement on it from the program. Prayer draws you closer to God. Every day you're expected to pray for an hour every day (at the very least twenty minutes of silent meditation if you're absolutely pressed for time). This is structured in the following way: five minutes introduction praising God, fifteen minutes reading the daily passage + provided notes and reflecting on it, twenty minutes of silent meditation, fifteen minutes of petition and intercession, and five minutes of thanksgiving. There are side benefits to each section, in particular: reflection on how the message of a Bible passage applies to your own life increases your spiritual self-awareness; silent meditation tests your attention and ability to focus (which I've found myself in need of improving); intercession helps you understand what you truly want and what others in your life need; and thanksgiving helps you to be grateful for the good things you have.

Fraternity is essential because it is a means of mutual reinforcement; it is a form of community which provides encouragement and accountability. We all know it's easier to follow through on something if you have people behind you (the magic of friendship and all). Knowing your fraternity helps you realize that everyone is imperfect in a different way yet we can help each other improve. They will answer your questions and help you up when you stumble.

>>2086
>naming yourself Silver (dunno if you're actually Silver Spoon or not)
Good sentiment, but the app is genuinely helpful as it provides day-to-day advice and verses to read.

>>2087
Music that lifts the soul. Generally hymns, Gregorian chant, Palästinalied, etc. Music to avoid is anything that lacks religious meaning, and certainly anything debauched.
Asceticism
Anonymous
93Y1U
?
No.2094
2105
Asceticism is a largely forgotten part of our Catholic tradition. Few people know what the word means, and even fewer can pronounce it. The scandals in the Church today have me convinced that very few are committed to its practice or experience its benefit.

But the Sacred Scriptures and the lives of the saints are manifoldly clear:
“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24)

“Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Well, I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air; but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” (1 Corinthians 9:27)
When we submit ourselves to the world's comforts, we become spiritually sluggish. We lose the vision into which we were baptized as sons of God. This is what I mean: The material world, which we see with our eyes, is not even half the equation of reality. But how often do we miss this? It is the practice of asceticism that re-awakens us.

Asceticism derives from a Greek word ascesis, which means practice, exercise, or athletic training. To practice asceticism is to discipline oneself through acts of self-denial. You say "no" to lower things, so that you can say "yes" to higher.

But it is increasingly difficult to live this way today. In an essay called The End of the Modern World, Romano Guardini writes, "The modern era rebelled against asceticism with every fiber of itself because it saw in asceticism the quintessence of all from which it wished to be free. It was this shrinking horror of asceticism which lulled the modern world to sleep, which sapped its strength. Man must learn again to become a true master by conquering and humbling himself.”

As you begin to practice asceticism, you will become more aware as you go about your day. You will see God's presence where you did not before. And you will see the truth of our situation: that we Christians are in a battle against the Devil and his forces. You may suffer spiritual attack.

It is for this reason that we must break out of our isolation and commit to our fraternities. Stay faithful to prayer, your daily anchor check-in, and weekly fraternity meeting. Pray for your brothers, and all Exodus men around the world, as they are praying for you.

Peace of Jesus Christ,

James Baxter
Co-Founder & Executive Director
Anonymous
93Y1U
?
No.2095
2105
By the way, here's good music to listen to: https://mailchi.mp/lovegoodculture/exodus90

Here is another good message to keep in mind. Keep in mind that the video he's referring to is here, "Avoid these 2 Pitfalls:" https://exodus90.com/watch-before-you-go/

Like any expedition, there are pitfalls to avoid for a successful adventure to the peak. The same is true in the spiritual life and for your Exodus. In the video, Nathaniel highlighted two pitfalls to avoid as you make your way to freedom:
The first is the sin of pride.
Pride is the most grave of the deadly sins: God's place is taken by oneself. It leads to self-reliance, but also overwhelming discouragement in the face of failure.

Beware that asceticism can lead to pride. St. Jerome (a 4th century Church Father) writes, “Be on your guard when you begin to mortify your body by abstinence and fasting, lest you imagine yourself to be perfect and a saint; for perfection does not consist in this virtue. It is only a help; a disposition; a means though a fitting one, for the attainment of true perfection.”

Most men are very excited by the fruits they experience in the first few weeks. But do not let this Exodus excitement become a burden to those around you. Remember that this is your Exodus, and not anyone else's, especially not your spouse’s (if you are married). If she prepares meat for dinner on a fast day, please eat it!
The second pitfall is fear, the fear of “failing Exodus.”
My friend Matt Fradd quit Exodus 90 (the first time he did it) after he took a hot shower on day 22. In a conversation we had on his show, I told him that he didn’t need to.

Exodus 90 sets a high standard. But it is not about being perfect. If you fail one of the disciplines on a given day, share that with your anchor, get up, and keep going. As you will see, as we make our way through the Book of Exodus, the journey to the Promised Land is very far from a straight shot! Why would you expect yours to be different?

Do not be afraid of failing. If fulfilling the daily Exodus regimen fills you with genuine anxiety and/or you struggle with scrupulosity already, I encourage you to set Exodus 90 aside. It is likely not for you at this time.

God alone grants deliverance as you read in your reflection on Day 1. Surrender to Him, and you will avoid these pitfalls.

Peace of Jesus Christ,

James Baxter
Co-Founder & Executive Director
Anonymous
E/+x/
?
No.2100
2101
I think I failed last night.
For the first time in my life, I legitimately had a pony-fucking dream. Twilight Sparkle was there in my bed, and everything else was forgotten.
I awoke to wet pants and weak legs.
My legs still feel shaky, even a day after the nut.
What do I do? Was this God rewarding me for my prayer and dedication? Or was this a temptation I sank into?
Anonymous
TUF51
?
No.2101
2102 2103 2105
>>2100
Keep going the act of meditation is the return to meditation. If you don't stop you haven't truly failed yet. Continue onward my friend!
Did you do so yourself? Or was it while your consciousness was altered.
I have many possible reasons why, most are benign.
Your subconscious is still craving that, and it's okay. All that means is that meditation, and prayer will help.
Could be the brain just tossed something together, as you adjust.
Adjust possiblity is that it wasn't due to you, but an external source whether divine or demonic.
As a divine gift accept it for what it is, and continue on your journey. For it is a respite, but you aren't done yet friend.
If it was demonicly induced, that too is part of God's plan. It is a sign you are in a battle. You will be tested.
Reposting, what an anon posted of what a catholic exorcist said on the topic.
But the basics is put your faith in God, and Jesus Christ ect.
Father Chadd Ripperger
Over view
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMcvZaiBwe4/

More details part 1 not needed, but it's fascinating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SipML1oj3SQ
Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPj3TTKCXcE

While I'm not really a Christian, more of a spiritualist occult dude, I do want you to succeed in what you do.
From this vx thread
>>>/vx/122469 →

If it's still eating away at you go to confession. A willingness, self-kindness, to accept help, and a humility to have then do so.
You can do it.
Anonymous
E/+x/
?
No.2102
2103
>>2101
I am going to keep going! For God, and for Jesus!
Anonymous
93Y1U
?
No.2103

Disclaimer: the program is not free and there's a $10 monthly fee. I was wondering how they kept the lights on.

>>2102
Deus Vult brother!

>>2101
Thank you for the sermons, based occultanon.
Anonymous
UKtaz
?
No.2104
asdf.png
>>2016

Anonymous
UKtaz
?
No.2105
Asceticism-is-not-that-you-should-not-own.jpg
>>2093
>>2094
>>2095
Interesting
>Twilight Sparkle was there in my bed
The anon at >>2101 recommending Father Chadd Ripperger is right on spot.


Anonymous
na0Cv
?
No.2106
2107
canvas.png
>>2093
>One hard aspect is the lack of music; with its absence in my ears my mind always recollects tunes I've listened to before the program
>music
>The Influence of Music ~ Fr Ripperger
>Father gives a talk on music and the implications it has on the human body & soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhXlILfOYh4
This priest knows what he's talking about
Anonymous
E/+x/
?
No.2107
2119
>>2106
I need more morally-good music, I've ran out. Where can I find more?
Anonymous
E/+x/
?
No.2118
2119
>>2016
I am finally losing my beer gut!
Anonymous
k4pTe
?
No.2119
2120
>>2107
Sorry for the late reply.
Medieval music, including crusader music (which I recommend for workouts) is becoming oddly popular and I recommend it. Alternatively, I recommend classical, ranging from Vivaldi to Luke Faulkner (who is an up-and-coming pianist continuing the European tradition of music). Folk music (I've always been partial to the German variety) can be uplifting and is better than most other forms according to Fr. Ripperger. Of course, Chant and even relatively contemporary church music like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snf1FiBSLvY is the most spiritually relevant.

>>2118
Congrats, anon!
Anonymous
E/+x/
?
No.2120
2121
>>2119
Sorry if I'm asking for things too often but can you show me some medieval/crusader music?
What are some good bands/musicians for this on Bandcamp? I have a bandcamp downloader.
Anonymous
k4pTe
?
No.2121
>>2120
Sorry, I use Youtube rather than Bandcamp so I can only point you to music on Youtube. There some channels like Adoration of the Cross (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoLmw-7YiyXJA6Ma0DvAzhg), Ex Cathedra (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCALgbfMZggNWAptlSVDRmug), and videos on random channels like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UvesKl8_W8
One band that does this is "Vox Vulgaris."
Also "Libera" is a very good choir for church music.
Hope this helps!
Monthly Update
OP
bNnZa
?
No.2285
Well, after over a month I feel like I've finally made progress. During this time I made several setbacks which made me seriously doubt if I could hold to the program, let alone apply discipline to my whole life. The strongest temptation has always been in regards to the internet as it had always been my primary means of entertainment and gratification. Thus, though I never let go of that restriction all at once it had seriously slipped. Monitoring the current pandemic was of course a valid thing to do for me, so I reasoned that while I was on Youtube I might as well answer replies to my comments, hmm this video challenges my curiosity…
This of course led to eclectic practices such as not watching political videos but binge-watching cooking videos (especially on fast days) until the early hours of the morning, and not watching long videos but meme vids below a minute were okay because "they're practically nothing." Due to lack of self-control akin to a kid in a candy shop my whole schedule was disrupted, I got nothing productive done all day and even my prayer life was disrupted, which panicked me. What made me realize what I needed to do was an explanation of Pharaoh bidding the Israelites to go offer sacrifice but to leave their flocks at home (Ex 10:24). In the same way Satan will at times relent and let us do minor restrictions of our appetites but "don't go too far." Because this maintains our attachment to such things rather than God it is just slavery with a longer chain.
Of course, putting this into practice is very difficult and we did go astray. This last week I kept checking /pnd/ on 8kun and (semi-successfully) convincing Siegefags that no, mindless violence is not any sort of meaningful strategy. During a time of self-reflection I realized though that it's not doing any real good if this preoccupation is impeding perfection and my ability to guide others over the long term. I added 8kun to a temporary website-blocking program (/mlpol/ is slower and doesn't have so much faggotry so the temptation to post here is far less), and to prevent distraction while listening to spiritually instructional videos I signed out of Youtube so its social media and (((recommended videos))) aspects do not apply.
I can't stress enough how important both prayer and fraternity are. Prayer allows clarity while fraternity builds commitment. Reflection and meditation will absolutely help you realize problems you face and their solutions. I've complemented it with lectio divina which is reading a passage from scripture (in this case from the Gospel of Mark) and picking out words that stand out to me, then meditating on these. By doing so it's possible to apply the Gospel's meaning to your own life as well as to your understanding of God, building on wisdom. Having an anchor also has motivated me to making lasting improvements to my life because it is certainly much harder to confess your shortcomings to a physical person than to God in private (which is one of the reasons why the Catholic Church has the sacrament of confession).
Anonymous
g+JcS
?
No.2286
2287
I only sleep 6 hours a sleep session.
slept at 2200 hours, woke up at 4am.
Is this good?
Anonymous
bNnZa
?
No.2287
2288
>>2286
The question is are you well-rested? Some people have the gift of having to sleep only four hours a night. The reason why there is a seven-hour minimum requirement is because most people aren't built this way. Being tired through the day isn't healthy, either physically, spiritually, or mentally.
Anonymous
g+JcS
?
No.2288
2289
>>2287
I feel tired on all 3 bbut sleep doesnt help with that.
Anonymous
g15Xd
?
No.2289
2292
>>2288
Well only 6 hours a night certainly won't help with that. When you wake up immediately clarify your mind with prayer and then do exercises before breakfast to get your body energized. If you start to feel tired during the day then try to switch up your activity, go for a walk, etc.
Anonymous
g+JcS
?
No.2292
>>2289
Holy shit this works, thank you so much!
Anonymous
g+JcS
?
No.2300
2301
When is this over?
Anonymous
kXqWD
?
No.2301
>>2300
April 12th
Anonymous
hqBw6
?
No.2307
I have tokeep going
Anonymous
hqBw6
?
No.2319
Got a plant for my room. A damn good idea. Feel more alive than ever before. Well rested when sleeping. Can smell things. City smells shit. Forests smell nice. Should have done this long ago.
Anonymous
hqBw6
?
No.2328
2329
Remembered how much I love learning today.
Where can I learn more?
Anonymous
FPqzZ
?
No.2329
>>2328
Depends on what you want to learn. If you want religion, I recommend giving the Godcast a listen: https://thegodcast.libsyn.com/
Because a typical episode is almost two hours long it's best for background listening. On the plus side, because it's not on Youtube you don't have to worry about distractions.
Anonymous
hS0fe
?
No.2339
Realized my "to watch" list is absolutemy massive and contains a lot of so called "important movies" so I exercised hardcore and watched one film as a reward.
Saw Austin Powers Goldmember today.
Boring.
The original was a James Bond parody that tried to paint the James Bond fantasy as a dated, ugly, absurd and unrealistic thing incompatible with modern sensibilities. Sometimes it was funny, but only when it was "James bond but silly" instead of "Oh myJames Bond is so old fashioned and sexismy".
The sequel was a lot of dick jokes. And a lazy cliche ridden plot. Its jokes just go on and on. I groaned when the obligatory end of act breakup happened. Why do jews have such a boner for that cliche?
Anonymous
9ZE2f
?
No.2344
I can never think of anything funny to do on april 1st.
Anonymous
SJnWW
?
No.2345
>>2344
what did you do last year?
did you do anything that could be based upon?
Anonymous
9ZE2f
?
No.2346
I normally don't do anything for april fools. I just go around the net seeing what others are doing for theirs.
Anonymous
SJnWW
?
No.2347
>>2346
april fools is so chaotic and i love it
Anonymous
FQNNm
?
No.2350
Making new friends is so hard. Every woman I meet is or turns out to be a shallow thot.
Anonymous
3778eff
?
No.2351
Another day of healthy eating, weight loss, and exercise.
Noticed a weird brown spot on the back of my leg. Smaller than a penny but slightly greyed.
Weird.
Also I directly contributed to the site's quality by pointing out the "you can make empty posts" bug that just got fixed
feels good man.
Anonymous
1647939
?
No.2352
Nutted in my sleep this morning. I feel like shit. My semen energy has left me.
Anonymous
16299d7
?
No.2353
2354
Praise be to God! He is risen indeed!
Anonymous
ecf0e64
?
No.2354
2355
1586651851.png
>>2353
I'm worried poner that you might be on the way to godhood.
Anonymous
ec8c17e
?
No.2355
>>2354
If I died in a car crash and met God tomorrow, I don't know what I'd say to him.
Would I say "oh yay christianity was right, i get to go to heaven now and muck about in fluffy clouds and forget all about the godless world I left behind"
or would I say something else?
Would I berate him for allowing the Jews to exist? Would I mock him for failing to stop Satan and his cohorts from corrupting the world? Would I ask why good people can be born disabled? Would I insult him for allowing Christianity to get mutated into a Jewed mockery of itself? Would I call God a faggot for allowing his "A godless world of mortals with Free Will" experiment to fail?
Would it prove free will was a mistake if I chose to flip him off, even if it meant eternal damnation for me?
Or has god given humanity enough reasons to consider him a disappointment?
Anonymous
e87ba6f
?
No.2356
Wait, when was this supposed to end?
Anonymous
e87ba6f
?
No.2357
2358
I have passed April 12th. It's over! I succeeded, aside from the sleep nuts.
What now?
I think I'll keep going. No nut or unhealthy drinks, but some videogames for research.
Anonymous
f5bfbbd
?
No.2358
>>2357
Congratulations!
>No nut or unhealthy drinks
That's probably a good idea.
Anonymous
a917fd8
?
No.2359
We should do a "lockdown challenge" where we all try to complete an exercise regimen and learn a new skill during the lockdown.
I've been practicing the guitar. Still shit. But gitting gud.
Anonymous
482c83d
?
No.2363
2364
Gitting gud at the ocarina
Since the edocus is over should there be a new thread for general life improvements?
Anonymous
7e78736
?
No.2364
2365
>>2363
If you like, I mean its /ub/. You can continue to use this thread or you could make a new one. So far nothing has ever slid off on /ub/, so what makes the most sense to you?
Anonymous
482c83d
?
No.2365
>>2364
Fuck, I made a typo. Edocus my ass. I need to stop typing with my eyes shut. hi supernintendo chalmers.
Anyeay back to the point...
I don't know. I guess keeping this thread bumped for next year is good. I don't want to make a "me and my quest to become fit" blog thread. Then again, where else could I say things like "sometimes I unwantedly miss the days when I was surrounded by awful people irl because it made me feel good for not being like them"? I can't get advice for shit like that on some bluepilled forum. People would reee every time a fragment of my power level shows.
Being fit feels good. Nofap is so good for the soul!
Feels weird to say I still fap around normie friends who hate nofap and think its disgustingly infuriatingly obviously BS.
I bet they just hate nofap because they lack the willpower to face themselves and win.
Nofap pro tip I discovered solo. When you want to fap look at something beautiful that isnt the female form. Flowers, good paintings, cool military shit, nature etc.
Society is fucked up. Sex is nothing sacred now. Men boast about the anime they nut to. Thots expect their beta cucks to be happy for their mistresses as they suck chad off in front of their exploited paypiggy. Souls seem gone and people are valued only by what pleasures or services or trinkets they can give others. Kids on tiktok dance while a thot cries and a weirdo shoves his arm town a toilet and a text to speech voice loudly reads the Cock and Ball Torture wikipedia page. Your mediadrugged NPC friend sees this and laughs and shows you the video like nothing's abnornal.
The world feels so big, and I'm not a big guy for anyone. I can't fight the jew beast in anything but the smallest of ways. The jew wants to kill my soul, but by staying alive I spite him. Yet I still feel like that isn't enough. I prepared for the apocalypse the best I could, when does it start? Maybe the real apocalypse was the downfal of society we lived through along the way.
What will the world look like in 40 years?
I'm making good progress in my indie game. People thought I was bullshitting them but it's working. It's coming together like me and someone else's mom. Can't wait to show it off in trailers. My whole life I thought a purpose was something you tell yourself you live for when you want to feel good about yourself. But now that I've found my real purpose, it feels good.