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File: 1549817410634.png (207.82 KB, 744x426, serielestia.png)

cb9ca No.203906[Last 50 Posts]

Thank you, my fellow subjects, for being here.

It has come to my attention that something terrible has occurred in our great nation today.

Just along the outskirts of Ponyville, several lanky, fair-skinned hairless monkeys were seen camping outside the Everfree forest. Their size means that the average pony's face is at their crotch level, and most of them are distinguishable by their blue eyes and blonde hair.

They call themselves… 'humans', but in all honesty, they're worse than ziggers. They say that they've come from a planet called Earth and escaped here through a dimensional merge because they were being overrun by Jews and negroes and other such races, and have come here in order to be "free from persecution" and "have a place of their own".

These are NOT ponies, they are never like ponies and they will NEVER serve our monarchy. If we let the humans in, we will literally be cucking up our own race.

So, if we want to preserve our own ponies, we must come up with a plan.

I am opening the floor to my you, my trusted advisors, for suggestions on this matter.

What shall we do with these… humans?

01742 No.203910

>>203906
I suggest we build a wall, or a big beautiful fence, which is see through.

P.S. Do they have hands? If so can they open this jar for me?

307c5 No.203915

File: 1549820716326.png (145.8 KB, 555x575, 1498299072048.png)

>>203906
>Lets rape them

5659f No.203926

File: 1549822750089.jpg (41.66 KB, 450x300, EX-TIR-MI-NATE.jpg)


79e7a No.203927

File: 1549822976384-0.jpeg (184.62 KB, 1280x650, large.jpeg)

>>203906
>Be Celestia
>You sit in your thone as messenger pony enters through the two large double doors in the other end of this audience chamber
>He bows deeply when he reaches the end of the long red rug that covers the floor from the doors to the throne
"You may raise." You gesture upwards with your hoof. You notice the wings on the messengers back. "I expect you to bring news from Cloudsdale. Was my proposal to meet with thunderous hoof stomps?"
>He backs away when he hears your words and lowers his head when he meets your hard gaze
"N-no, your majesty. I am not sent from Cloudsdale. I am to inform you that one of those ho-omans has surrendered to us."
"What? Is he a prisoner of war? Did they attack?"
"No, the hooman arrived at the gates this morning and-"
>You look past the pony and at the closed double-door
"What? He is here?"
"Yes, your Majesty. He is currently held captive. Captain Shining Armor wanted to hear your orders regarding the hoouman's request."
>Your eyes narrowed
"Request? What does he want?"
"He came here to act as an ambassador for the huoommans. He wants to discuss a potential alliance between us and them. Or at least negotiate forth a peace treaty."
>You scratched your chin with your golden horseshoe
"Fine, tell Captain Shining Armor to send him here."
>The pegasus saluted her and trotted out off the room
Now human, we will see if you can convince me to let you live.

cb35c No.203928

File: 1549822994171.png (887.78 KB, 4669x6000, limestone.png)

>>203906
I don't really care, just as long as they don't touch Holder's Boulder!

79e7a No.203929

>>203906
>and most of them are distinguishable by their blue eyes and blonde hair.
>blonde hair.
Lol, I was going to make joke about me being left behind on earth to be cucked but now it wouldn't makes sense.
Also, ">most of them" Am I a minority now? Awesome, >#Brownhairmatters

ad0c1 No.203931

File: 1549823862552.png (182.12 KB, 464x563, 1839139.png)

Excuse me Princess, but if we allow griffons, yaks, hippogriffs, let alone changelings, and even dragons into our society, What's the big deal of letting in the furless monkey like ones? Lo, they even have manes like us.

32c8e No.203934

File: 1549825500604.png (100.15 KB, 1000x677, 1532296600473.png)

>>203906
>"have a place of their own"
Not compatible with Equestria's vital space.
I vote "Exterminatus".

7758d No.203944

>>203906
>they will NEVER serve our monarchy
Do you mean you don't want them to, or that they'd refuse to do it?
'Cause, I'm pretty sure they've already started infighting on which princess to follow by now. Unless they got the infighting out of the way beforehoof to save time.
Also:
>monarchy
So, you finally killed off Luna? Or did you forget about her, again? One of these days we're going to get Nightmare Moon 2: Aetheric Boogaloo, if you keep that up.
>If we let the humans in
If that's the problem, they don't need to be in Equestria. Plenty of unclaimed wilderness on the planet you could escort them to. Then post some guards and tell them to stay out.
They're only a problem if they make themselves a problem, after all. If they cooperate then there's literally no problem.

7fa8e No.203954

File: 1549831658535.jpg (194.34 KB, 850x940, 2018-01-16 22.33.15.jpg)

>>203944
This brings up a good point. Saddle Arabian is mostly self governed due to distance. Why not have the humans serve as a fiefdom? We can guarantee them self goverance with a tax, lets say 10%? They are from a different dimension, surely they have something.

32c8e No.203966

>>203954
>Why not have the humans serve as a fiefdom?
Here we go.
Foreigners don't belong in Equestria.
We all know the end results of to open the gates.

bd7e2 No.203969

>>203927
"Okokok, here me out. How would you like to learn how to build Nukes?"

01742 No.203971

>>203969
Lets start at the beginning. "Steam trains!"

P.S Why do you have trains with with rams at the front, then ponies in front of that?

P.P.S Why do you claim to move a sun? Wouldn't rotating the planet be more efficient?

P.P.P.S. Will you kill us because we know the TRUTH!?

7758d No.203977

>>203971
>Why do you claim to move a sun? Wouldn't rotating the planet be more efficient?
Why would you assume that it's got the same cosmology that Earth does? Magical talking ponies with magic, anon. They probably actually do have a geocentric universe.

fe8c2 No.203979

File: 1549837905809.png (27.84 KB, 548x451, boulder.png)


8a528 No.203984

Mr. Griffon says that we should let the humans in.

cb35c No.203987

File: 1549839441519.png (119.36 KB, 1014x1091, limestone2.png)

>>203979
Do
not
touch

631f6 No.203988

EQUESTRIA IMMIGRATION

Human applicant

(Fraud is cause for immediate revocation of any rights granted)

Name: _________________
Occupation: __________________
Race: ____________
Age: ___

Sex: S/M/Sterile
Marital status: Degenerate/Virgin/Married/Widow

I have a criminal record on earth: Y/N
I have unpaid debts on earth: Y/N
I fully submit to her royal highness, princess celestia: Y/N
I renounce democracy: Y/N
I intend to lewd the ponies: Y/N
I am bringing more than 100ml of liquids: Y/N
I am bringing earth fruit, vegetables or meat: Y/N
I am bringing other earth organisms: Y/N
I intend to touch holder's boulder: Y/N
I am bringing earth technology: Y/N
I will never apply or share earth knowledge or inventions: Y/N
I will never apply the sqientific method: Y/N
I will never remark that the wonderful technologies granted on the request of the ponies by princess Celestia herself such as trains and hammers are being used inefficiently: Y/N
I will respect the NAP: Y/N
I will always do the opposite of what the gryphon says: Y/N

Signature: _______________

470ce No.203995

>>203977
Yet she still moves the sun. May as well leave the sun where it is and rotate the planet instead, even if it is central to the universe.

306e4 No.203997

>>203971
Like how the hell do you rotate the planet? Wouldn’t that require rotating the entire universe around the planet? Isn’t that what they are doing already?

470ce No.203999

>>203997
I'd say it's safe to assume the physics are the same. Just apply a torque to the planet as a whole, more efficient than rotating the entire universe.

fe8c2 No.204013

File: 1549851160237.png (27.95 KB, 548x449, boulder 2.png)


71c11 No.204016

>>203906
Celestia could just rip up a chunk of ocean floor she doesn't like, magically turn it into a fertile wonderland, remove most of its gravity and enchant the island to float, and then… Boom, humans can live in the floating Angel Island.

32c8e No.204018

File: 1549853128791.gif (503.14 KB, 564x564, pinkie pie_the one.gif)

>>204013
Sparkle is gonna get in a lot trouble.

32c8e No.204019

File: 1549853401686.png (138.73 KB, 814x697, 1620512.png)

>>204016
>Boom, humans can live in the floating Angel Island.
But not in Equestria.
It is telling how many poners here came with the worrisome "let us make a place for them" heresy.

c4761 No.204020

>>204016
Do not be fooled. Mere proximity is enough to do damage.
If we let them stay, they'll >rape our mares.

815ed No.204024

File: 1549854310009.svg (7.74 MB, 1553160__safe_edit_editor-….svg)

Goodness gracious me, it's always Equestria this, Equestria that with you ponies. As if to say that all the world is Equestria!
How many of you so-called advisors and "intellectuals" have paid even a smidgen of attention to an atlas in your lives?

79e7a No.204026

File: 1549854700511-0.jpg (40.3 KB, 478x720, 12407_1184083496838_167077….jpg)

>>204020
>rape our mares
>Implying >rape
Ha, keep telling yourself that stallions. Like we would need to.

Oh, shit. Am I really doing this,Anon thought to himself before his troll-side took over.

91578 No.204028

HUMANS OF EQUESTRIA

It has become clear that despite our most innocent intentions that the repressive and incompetant monarchy of this land will noy welcome us beleagered refugees! The reason is clear, the pony elite, including the cake eating harlot celestia are in league with our enemies!
Even before our arrival, the effete, treacherpus pony elite worked openly with the vile gryphon kikes, they willingness to embrace tolerance and diversity for their other neighbors but NOT for us humans is evidence of an anti-white conspiracy that has entrenched itself into every aspect of the equestrian government!
It has become clear that the only way to secure the existence of our people and a future for white children is to take up arms against yhis backwards, corrupt, and anti-white government, which is not as monolithically supported as they would like to think.
Even now brave mares and stallions, sick of the excesses of the monarchy are joining us in struggle against this foul regime, together we will usher in a new dawn in equestria.
We have the ability to win, we have the knowledge, technology and will of thousands of years behind us, we will tame this land just as our ancestors tamed the pontic steppe, european mountains and plains of america, we will manifest destiny across this land and in the end qhat we found as a backwards uncivilized land will be a vibrany paradise for human and pony alike free of the tyrany of a magical kleptocrat.

Long live humanity!

32c8e No.204029

File: 1549856468306.jpeg (41.06 KB, 590x750, see ya.jpeg)

>>204028
Bla, bla, bla.
Celestia has the magic, you have none.
You type like a griffon, lies, distortion, and deception is your nature.
GTFO before is too late.
Chiao and die.

f047f No.204047

File: 1549867349328.png (650.38 KB, 614x765, e21.png)

>>204029
Ho-omans will rise!, with field-marshal Sunset Shimmer at the front!.

cb35c No.204049

File: 1549868321261.png (952.31 KB, 1280x720, limestone3.png)

>>204013
I'm seriously gonna have to kill a mare aren't I?

bd7e2 No.204058

Daybreaker vs an F16
Who wins?

294e2 No.204060

File: 1549893178610.jpg (82.84 KB, 480x682, 1527690016448.jpg)

>>203988

Human applicant

(Fraud is cause for immediate revocation of any rights granted)

Name: Anon Nr. 06
Occupation: Accountant
Race: Caucasian
Age: 21

Sex: Male
Marital status: Degenerate

I have a criminal record on earth: NO
I have unpaid debts on earth: NO
I fully submit to her royal highness, princess celestia: YES
I renounce democracy: YES
I intend to lewd the ponies: YES
I am bringing more than 100ml of liquids: NO
I am bringing earth fruit, vegetables or meat: NO
I am bringing other earth organisms: NO
I intend to touch holder's boulder: NO
I am bringing earth technology: NO
I will never apply or share earth knowledge or inventions: NO
I will never apply the sqientific method: NO
I will never remark that the wonderful technologies granted on the request of the ponies by princess Celestia herself such as trains and hammers are being used inefficiently: NO
I will respect the NAP: YES
I will always do the opposite of what the gryphon says: YES

Signature: Anon Nr. 06

Will you allow me close to your mares now?

fe8c2 No.204070

File: 1549898307948.png (28.56 KB, 548x451, boulder 3.png)


cb9ca No.204074

Why can't we just use magic to turn all humans into ponies again? The only thing that they have to lose is their humaness or whiteness or something…

I mean, sure, most would be completely against it, but it wouldn't hurt just to turn a few of them into ponies… right?

fcb7b No.204078

>>204070
What have you done!?

306e4 No.204079

>>204070
That boulder better have fallen over on its own

34150 No.204200

File: 1549983461547.png (297.29 KB, 890x565, unknown.png)


cb35c No.204202

File: 1549985267863.png (150.24 KB, 788x1013, limestone4.png)

>>204060
>I intend to touch holder's boulder: NO
I say let them stay. At least they WON'T touch Holder's Boulder!

f047f No.204274

File: 1550009494041.mp4 (889.88 KB, 1280x720, VideoCutter_Mlp.mp4)

>>204058
Probably not the F16.

e0fd4 No.204323

>>204274
>combat aircraft vs. literal dark souls boss
was there ever any doubt?

32c8e No.204324

File: 1550034102538.png (223.51 KB, 1024x713, pinkamena-vector-insane-2.png)

>>204202
What Sparkle did is wrong.

5e4be No.204335

>>204274
>>204323
Followup question: How many F-16s would it take?

e0fd4 No.204338

>>204335
as many as can be made into flying fire engines

ea456 No.204340

File: 1550042275892.png (274.93 KB, 1045x882, 715633 - Flag History feat….png)

When we came to Equestria, we did so hoping to become the slaves of the superior pony race.
Also I guess the griffons or zebras or whatever too. We're not picky.

bd7e2 No.204376

>>204335
1
I don't care if you're a fucking dark souls boss, getting BRRT'd by something moving at Mach 2 isn't gonna be fun

34150 No.204416

>>204324
no pinkemina, cock and ball torture is not allowed in this class

cb9ca No.204417

>>204340

Truly the ponies are the Herrenvolk! We are not worthy to come inside Rainbow Dash!

dcaf8 No.204436

>>203928
What if they are boyfriend material?

d0fe2 No.204519

>>204436
*he is

Boys aren't "they" unless they're plural, you know.

71c11 No.204529

>>204376
Didn't Rainbow Dash hit Mach 10 when she did the Sonic Rainboom?

775cf No.204590

>>204529
If one equates the sound barrier with the rainbow barrier (a sonic boom vs. a sonic rainboom) then that's mach 1 not mach 10

bd7e2 No.204684

>>204590
>fighter jets have rainbow trails innaquestria
Headcannoned

cb9ca No.204735

It's funny how the talk of humans in the ponystate turned into a thread about Holder's Boulder, then about Rainbow Dash's speed stats.

I love this place!

bd7e2 No.204754

>>204735
>flagless
Opinion Discarded

45c59 No.204829

File: 1550250204096.gif (678.47 KB, 250x250, fuyik.gif)

>>204735

Show your flag you flagless faggot!

ede66 No.205053


d0fe2 No.205728

Has there been stories like this before? I get the feeling that this has probably been made into a fic before.

72118 No.205865

>>205728
yes
nigger human go home!

64831 No.207835

But how will we kill off those humans?

Gas chambers, concentration camps, masturbation machines… what would kill them?

01742 No.207839

File: 1551416551998.jpg (21.81 KB, 580x300, 5.jpg)

>>207835
"Been tried before. Didn't work. Human history shows only one solution. We give them communism. That's right, we just keep giving them free stuff and apparently they will stop breeding and start killing each other. Yeh, I don't get it either. But at least "WE" can't be blamed! Win-win."

cb9ca No.207872

>>207839
That sounds so absurd, that… it just might work!

One problem, though: How are we going to keep giving the humans all the communism they want before we bankrupt ourselves as well? Wouldn't we end up with an enormous debt trap that we couldn't end up paying in order to the humans with all our riches even though we don't like them?

Won't ponies start complaining about this even if they'll die in the long run?

cb9ca No.207884

Call me blackpilled, but even if we somehow manage to stop the inflow of humans, Equestria's doomed. But the biggest problem is Sorrel Reuters.

When Nova Freewing, Councilmember of Cloudsdale's weather program, helped Diamond Dogs raid her village as a filly for unicorn slaves, he killed her father as she hid underneath the floorboards of their home; she then vowed to destroy the pegasi and the Diamond Dogs as races. She's been living with the dragons as a champion and assassin for a long time, but she will follow through.

She'll most likely steal the Scroll of Greater Cloudtrotting from Canterlot (one of the most interesting scenes being her first hoofsteps on the floating city as the pegasi watch in utter shock) and permanently ground Cloudsdale, taking it out of the sky with magic, getting vengeance on Nova in the process with the help of her ragtag band of friends. The Mane Six may attempt to fight her, but they will lose.

The other countries will invade the borders as Equestria's guard is overstretched, trying to fight external powers and the internal turmoil created by Sorrel Reuters, unicorn revolutionary.
There is no saving Equestria. The Changelings aren't the real threat, but the dragons are definitely moreso. Just enjoy the show. One by one barbarians will attempt to capture the glory of Equestria in their own kingdoms, but all will falter. This last burst of sunlight over the crest of the mountains should be cherished, for it might be the last golden ray for a good long while.

01742 No.207929

File: 1551458388690.png (Spoiler Image, 1.26 MB, 872x859, 7d8.png)

>>207872

—-- //TS/SCI// EYES ONLY / COPY 1/1 / DESTROY AFTER READING ——

The Royal Treasury has sufficient resources for emergencies in the economy, however it is unlikely these resources will be needed.

1. The ability to produce food and objects does not require physical labor in a magical realm. However since not all ponies have magical ability it is necessary to have them participate in the economy in a manual way. For this reason we purposely limit the use of magic economic production. This is the true meaning of Winter Wrap Up and other such propaganda. Their in no possibility of resource shortage.

2. The Royal Council, under My direction also stages monster invasions from time to time to increase the self-worth perceptions of those in the pony community who need it. Under such Benevolent deceptions Equestria has been a very prosperous and fulfilling experience for most ponies and our guests. It has long been recognized by Us that a society without struggle is a stagnant and failing society. After more than a 1000 years, We have learned a thing of two about society management and control.

3. We monitor ponies psychological states in their sleep via Program Tantabus headed by Princess Luna. These privacy invasions are necessary for the smooth functioning of society. Luna is sworn to secrecy unless the State is threatened.

4. Project Tantabus II is being explored for human monitoring. Preliminary results are promising but Luna seems to be struggling with the level of depravity in the minds of the hairless monkeys. Measures are being considered.

5. This information is for you alone. Should this information leak you will be held [u]personally
responsible.

—-- //TS/SCI// EYES ONLY / COPY 1/1 / DESTROY AFTER READING ——

5a485 No.208022

>>207929

This is incredible!

You're doing a fine service to the Equestrian community, pony Hans. Keep up the good work.

fd26f No.214387

>>204829
why do you need to see flags or you get mad? stop judging people off their countries they happen to be born in you faggote

d5fa1 No.214388

File: 1553738793165.png (232.64 KB, 711x641, Earth_royal_guard_ID_S3E01.png)

Celestia I come bearing…. grave news. The humans seem to be walking around and booping your subjects until they can no longer function. How should we handle this?

32c8e No.214395

>>214387
>stop judging people off their countries they happen to be born in you faggote
A flag most likely identifies the poster's race, you faggot.
A non-White has not the same gravity pull than a White, don't you know?

20625 No.214396

File: 1553741885183.png (60.02 KB, 250x300, 1DF9B98E-1154-43C8-A540-81….png)

>>214388
THEY MUST BE PURGED


>>214395
>A flag most likely identifies the poster's race
Not really, most countries on the planet have substantial populations of Europeans, especially in Latin America

32c8e No.214400

>>214396
>Not really, most countries on the planet have substantial populations of Europeans, especially in Latin America
True, the European diaspora is big and wide, but a flag is a great indicator of Whiteness probability.

f98a4 No.214401

>>214395
If you were paying attention, you'd realize the fag in question is OP

b7e12 No.215500

>>214396
What are you, mad!? It's just a light push on a pony's snout, like a button. What about those big ape hands could possibly be so devastating as to warrant a declaration of Exterminatus? No, we just need to reach out and ask why they boop the way they do. Surely the creatures will be reasonable, right?

a9eda No.215502

File: 1554440619034.png (215.17 KB, 510x1024, 363B4926-C190-48E8-96A1-F5….png)

>>215500
No. Touching. The Snout

49bf0 No.215506

>>215502
Go ahead Hang us. it wont un-boop you.

32c8e No.215507

File: 1554441647699.gif (1.42 MB, 1000x1000, pony boop.gif)

Boops.

b7e12 No.215509

>>215500
Oh sweet Luna's plotcheeks I was wrong, I was completely and utterly and horribly wrong! I can't feel my face! I can't breathe! I can't speak! If I weren't reporting this over media, I wouldn't be able to get a single word out, I just…BUCK!

Maybe a second attempt at reasoning with the hyoomans is in order? For science??

5e4be No.215520

>>215509
Yeah. It sucks at first, but it gets better as it happens more often. Eventually, if the same human boops you enough and you actually like them, it’ll start to be pleasant!

b27d1 No.215528

>>215520
I need my hourly boops. Please, you boop my snout me I'll yours. Just, Right on the snoot. I-, come on you boop me once I'll boop you twice. I'm desperate here. Look I know a mare that knows a colt that knows a filly that knows a mare that has an imitation hand, but it isn't cheap or that easy to get to. Three boops. I have to get my boops one way or another you understand right? I can't relapse now. I'll even try connecting you with a, shhh, human. Shhh, shhh. Not so loud. I need my boops. I'll bump into ponies just to get by if I need to. Four, four boops to one it's a good deal I'll even do another boop for free.

562fb No.215554

File: 1554478885294.png (193.02 KB, 1200x1400, I smell human pheromones~.png)


c4761 No.215644

File: 1554522608376-0.png (219.89 KB, 600x956, tumblr_pcpi28GjC41qkqne6o1….png)

File: 1554522608376-1.jpg (103.95 KB, 540x674, tumblr_pcpi28GjC41qkqne6o2….jpg)


a9eda No.215645

File: 1554522737732.png (205.37 KB, 997x732, AA4190E9-2C38-4E2B-9502-71….png)


465eb No.215646

>>215644
We need moar of these wonderful propaganda poster parodies. The My Little Human roleplay threads are back motherfuckers!

d88bf No.215652

>>215644
Do not let these creatures boop you or your foals! I hear that these "humans" occasionally spread….STDs! How does anypony still have herpes anymore!? It's not even concealed by fur so they have no excuse not to clean that shit up! What the buck is wrong with these freaks?

b27d1 No.215653

File: 1554528859149.jpg (Spoiler Image, 63.94 KB, 1024x584, 1538327672500m.jpg)


5e4be No.215654

>>215652
STDs aren't spread by fingers, you prude! Also, viruses can't be scrubbed away. Your mom already tried that and learned the hard way.

d88bf No.215658

>>215654
I know, I was implying that humans have no excuse not to seek magical medicine since it's more visible on their furless skin. Also see >>215644 .

5e4be No.215660

>>215658
Ah, I thought you meant literal scrubbing. Also, you shouldn't be that hard on them for having it at the rates they do; it has many different strains that are capable of being spread even through very minor interactions, like accidentally drinking from some other human's water bottle.

1ad01 No.215677

>>215660
>you shouldn't be that hard on them for having it at the rates they do; it has many different strains that are capable of being spread even through very minor interactions, like accidentally drinking from some other human's water bottle
I came here to laugh at you.

55031 No.215691

File: 1554550564397.jpg (81.79 KB, 659x1024, blended-applejack-659x1024.jpg)

>>215644

Even their economic activities is sublimation for their sexual urges. Devious creatures! Their unwholesome ways drive a pony to the bottle.

Maybe social programs can solve the issue of their disruptive and selfish ways.

32c8e No.215693

File: 1554550787471.png (354.43 KB, 900x900, 1554105694496.png)

>>215691
>drive a pony to the bottle

59f3a No.215780

File: 1554619872618.png (1.19 MB, 1366x768, Permit.png)

>all these faggoty technicolor horses acting like we're not the superior species
>all these mares and closeted stallions trying to act like they're not totally lusting after our BIG, STRONG HUMAN HANDS

2999d No.215782

File: 1554620108922.jpeg (84.86 KB, 1200x1200, Totally not taken off der….jpeg)

>>215691
>>215693
>driving a pony to the bottle
>not driving the bottle into the pony
You're not thinking human enough.

5e4be No.215787

>>215782
>cherry punch
>only relevant image
not RPing here just to say that I've seen far better images than that of this sort of thing, you didn't look hard enough.

2999d No.215788

>>215787
>cherry punch
I don't mean the only image relevant to bottle insertions in general, I mean pony-specific. But I'm not going on a big search for something I'm not even into. :B

5e4be No.215790

>>215788
>not even into it
b a d t a s t e

2999d No.215793

>>215790
I'm a massive faggot so I've used some things as dildos. Bottles are a horrible idea, especially glass ones. Imagine the suction caused by inserting an empty bottle inside you, and then imagine trying to pull it out as it's stuck inside by the vacuum. It fucking hurts. Not hot.

32c8e No.215795

File: 1554623657427-0.jpg (116.57 KB, 1280x1121, 1123322-90e1e837d835a61ef2….jpg)

File: 1554623657427-1.png (1.55 MB, 1280x720, 7114603-image_30.png)

File: 1554623657427-2.png (2.89 MB, 2500x1523, 1544670470124-2.png)


2999d No.215796

>>215795
Mmh, thanks fam, needed some fresh horsepussy lately.

b27d1 No.215797

>>215790
>>215788

>About a wine bottle inside a pony
>in bad taste
>Carlos.jpeg

>>215793
Keep the openings lined up if you can't stick a dick in it it's the wrong way.

2999d No.215798

>>215797
But then how the fuck're you gonna fit a bottle in there bottom first

Actually don't answer that, I'm too self conscious to let my ass be that deathly overstretched.

b27d1 No.215801

File: 1554626773408.jpg (Spoiler Image, 136.2 KB, 664x1024, 1538571480476.jpg)

>>215798
The human body can take alot of abuse. The asshole is made of mostly smooth muscle that moves slowly and constantly.

Like all parts of the body it can be exercised and stretched (think toe touches, not rubber band) if it's too loose you need to work on contraction of the muscles more.

Like how you could technically do the split vs an expert gymnast doing the split. One ends in pain and torn bits. The other can keep on going with no pain or torn bits.


TLDR: Get /Fit/ for all parts of the body.

2999d No.215802

>>215801
God damnit I said not to tell me now I'm horny at 2AM. If I fap/clop now I'll pass out and wake up late for fucking work, ree…

55031 No.215809

File: 1554639060746.jpg (242.15 KB, 1280x720, large.jpg)

>>215782

It's certainly a novel idea but I hoped that deviancies were the least we'd spread here. Especially when human deviancy is hale and abound, spreading our own carnal proclivities does not help. Good try though.

a4833 No.215911

File: 1554731764599.png (62.39 KB, 1600x900, oho.png)

You might want to allow an intervention from an international coalition to help you remove these dangerous groups, Miss Celestia!
Our hierarchized and procedural bureaucratic rules and process chain states we had sent you a fax document you just need to sign and return in three exemplaries to allow our armed forces to intervene and secure the region and bring peace, freedom and prosperity. (and also override your government and exploit your land resources for a given period of time) we're here to help!

Yours truly.
President Lorelei Kernav, leader of the free world.

f2cf6 No.216028

File: 1554806412963.jpeg (88.36 KB, 825x1080, 1774077.jpeg)

>>203906
>Their size means that the average pony's face is at their crotch level
Oh my, what an interesting and oddly specific detail to iclude.

eb3c4 No.216053

>>216028
Shut up! It's not my fault their stupid monkey dicks are always being shoved in my face!

f2cf6 No.216071

File: 1554845744077.png (272.08 KB, 1280x953, large.png)


b27d1 No.216073

>>203906
>They call themselves… 'humans', but in all honesty, they're worse than ziggers. They say that they've come from a planet called Earth and escaped here through a dimensional merge because they were being overrun by Jews and negroes and other such races,

We must not let whatever those jews or negroes are through! Even if they are the natural predators of these 'humans' we must not allow any more contamination.
If the way they came through is open have the humans, ungf, guard it with our directing forces.
If it is closed for good we can harness whatever talent they have, for the good of Equestria. Even if that means, Celestia forgive me, being a physical barrier for greater dangers.
-Tough Choice before the boopening

b27d1 No.216074

>>214388
The first report of booping caught my eye. I needed to know more. My position as one of Celestia's advisors means taking on burdens so she doesn't have to. When I made it to the location I witnessed it first hoof and first hand.
>>215528
>>215554
>>215645
Seeing ponies reactions was telling. One must have been a human researcher. The other an upstanding citizen.
The crazed pony came up to me, and asked me to boop them. I didn't quite know what a boop was so I asked for an example.

As I write this I'm not okay. I booped them back and asked her to follow me for further research into the boop and possible cures.
I hope that the researchers find a cure.

eb3c4 No.216116

>>216073
I enjoy the post even if it is late, but just putting "Tough Choice before the boopening" kind of messes with the chronology of a thread. Mostly just nitpicking because man am I drunk right now - but otherwise, keep up the fun writes.

b6762 No.216141

File: 1554907839940.png (1.02 MB, 1280x1275, 002.png)

>>216053
So you're telling me that they're walking around fully n-nude? What a shameless and lewd species these humans are

b27d1 No.216155

>>216116
Sure thing anon.

Looking at the Tartarus Records and REDACTED's files, I had to talk to the humans. Though I do need to bring this idea up at the next advisory session.

Most humans despite there inclination to, I still feel chills, boop, snuggle, cuddle, pet, brushie, and cutie talk to. They could refrain from doing any of those. Telling them the social and romantic implications of their advances most of them would apologize. The rest would also apologize and proceed to 'romance' the ponies.

Dear Luna, and Celetia these creatures are lewd.

Did anypony know that these humans have their version of all our problematic 'citizens'.
If the lowest levels of Tartarus had several dozen lower floors and occupied an entire planet that only scratches how terrible the place they came from truly is.
Apparently these humans are our counterparts in that terrible place.

Let that sink in.

Our counterparts, without the Princesses guidance, with no magic, with no heartsongs.

I have never in all my years as advisor felt this much horror and pity at the same time. Then they gave me a normal comforting hug with their arms.
They wanted so baddly to boop, snuggle, cuddle, pet, brush, and much much more.
But they didn't.
I'll need to make sure an ambassador and messenger to these humans know how to deal with them.
At the very least I can use my special talent more with these humans around.

They are not ready for Equestrian integration, and they won't be for a long time. We may need to use Discord to prepare a place for them. They seem chaotic enough that he would like them.

This is Tough Choice signing off on this scroll for the record.

b7e12 No.216182

>>216155
Nice work, having a giggle at all this content while 4/mlp/ and other sites are mostly ded in comparison. Hail Celestia, hail our ponies, hail victory, etc etc.

b27d1 No.216212

File: 1554951875485.png (Spoiler Image, 83.51 KB, 4000x4000, 1538408323353.png)

>>216155
Celestia, Cadence, and Luna damnit I spilt my drink over the scroll. Again.

I got in contact with an exclusive and hard to find pony, Extreme Fetish, she can do things with her body and magic that will make your head spin. Effy also happens to be a close and dear friend since grade school. When she came to me about coming out of the closet with the truth I was thinking of something much different than being a changeling. That wedding was a weird time for the nation.

Extreme Fetish should be the perfect candidate for being an on site messenger and liasson for the humans. Even after looking thorough The C. Directory for somepony.

She will like the humans. Perhaps a bit too much. Effy should be able to taste if they have any bad intentions too. I need to make sure they know she is a changeling and under my protection and supervision. Can't have the Canter Circus Crisis all over again.

Finding a willing and strong willed ambassador is not going well. At all. If this keeps up I'll have to use the emergency option.

Messageing Discord has come up dry and short. Literally Dry and Short. He's pulling a Q on acceptable targets.

I'm going to need to have a tea party with the Element of Kindness. Celestia buck it. I still can't look at tea cups the same way after what Effy did.

Infact if I wasn't taking part of and have reports on REDACTED I'm sure this entire human business is an overly complicated plot by The Princess of Love and Discord to get a stuffy advisor to get back together with a childhood friend.

Speaking of advisors, memories and ambassadors. Apparently the humans sent one to Celestia. Luna and Celestia damnit bureaucratic work will be the end of me. Bucking standardized specimen research forms.
The human better be in at least more than skin and bone when I get there.

They don't call me Tough Choice for nothing.

b27d1 No.216213

>>216212
Notes to self.

Find out what the tartarus pulling a Q means.
Get glasses that blackout tea cups.
Find the human.
FIND AN AMBASSADOR! If not Write a letter to The Princesses about the situation.
Try to remember the other thing I wrote on the scroll.

b27d1 No.216346

>>216213
It's time for tea with The Element of Kindness. Named, hmmm the document has water damage, Flullersnv. Cutie mark is of three butterflies. Pegasus, takes care of animals. Working on project The Big D and The Friendship Gang.
The name looks to be a bit too damaged and I'm out of time. The glasses are here! YES!
NOOOO!
It's x-ray goggles for medical work.

Right, this is not good. Having Fluddersnu in a bad mood is dangerous to my continued wellbeing. At least I have icecream that tends to go well.

I knock thrice.

A Pink and Yellow pony cowering behind the opening door. This will not be a fun visit.

Softly and calmly I speak, "Hello, I'm here for the tea party with Discord. My names Tough Choice and I have a difficult choice for you to make."

She whimpers, but the door is still open.

"Vanilla or Chocolate icecream?"

She relaxes slightly as Floppersky murmurs her inaudible choice.

"Luckily I have both for this little get together miss?"

F l u tt er sh y. I hope that I got it right or else none of the princesses will save me now.

"That is a pleasant name, Fluttershy. Do you take care of the animals near here?"

Quietly she exclaims "Oh, yes I take care of the little guys." She may be a member RED Party further research later is necessary.

"That's wonderful, miss. Can any of your animal friends also enjoy icecream?"

Ah, good she finally invited me inside. The dreaded tea cups. She's saying she's supposed to meet Celestia's adviser. Talking time.

"Indeed I'm Celestia's adviser on more than just sweet treats." I wink with a glance at my cutie mark.

Discord is at the table. Grinning. This will not be a pleasant tea party.
No time like the present to drag my name through the mud.

Discord the gentlepony pulls the seat out for both of us. Mine happened to have melon preserve on it. This is fine. It's times like these I want a horn. Then again my heart would give out before I could use it.

At least Discord's melons are pleasantly distracting. Then saucy dancing saucers with tantalizing tea cups come out of a large chest through the small keyhole.

Discord reverse sipps the tea pot for a bubbling cheese wine with yodeling gummy dictionaries. All off key.

Drinking it is not as difficult as suppressing memories of Effy and tea cups.

Discord smiles knowingly. "So, what brings Celestia's Tough Choice out here to visit little ole me? Surely it's not for the tea cups nor for my dear friend."

Don't buck this up.

"That is true, and I am intruding on personal friendship time, I came here with three questions for you."

The sticky stuff under my flanks is a welcome distraction.

He motioned to continue with all the silverware. Even Fluttershy looked interested.

"Would you be willing to create an area for the humans to live in once the details come out." I just lost my tail don't freak out.

"The other questions if you would?"

"What do you know about pulling a Q and how is your friendship time here?"

Discord actually for a moment gave a warm smile. Reminds me of the Princesses.

"I'll consider it, In a moment, time with 'shy is always a welcome treat." He got up, pulled the ground so I would be right next to him and he told me everything. By the means of a lazer gun, firing beam.

To borrow a human expression. Those chuckle fucks on Earth are fucked.

Pale and sweating I speak, "Thank you both for having me interrupt your tea party, but I think something I ate for breakfast doesn't agree with me. Fluttershy, Discord it's been a pleasure."

I run out the door into the human outpost embassy. A tent with an Equestrian flag. I curl into a ball and laugh. My shaft already fully erect. Damn you daily reporting paper work.

Then Effy walked in. With a human female. With a medical skeleton and multicolored rubber gloves.


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