cb9ca No.203906[Last 50 Posts]
Thank you, my fellow subjects, for being here.
It has come to my attention that something terrible has occurred in our great nation today.
Just along the outskirts of Ponyville, several lanky, fair-skinned hairless monkeys were seen camping outside the Everfree forest. Their size means that the average pony's face is at their crotch level, and most of them are distinguishable by their blue eyes and blonde hair.
They call themselves… 'humans', but in all honesty, they're worse than ziggers. They say that they've come from a planet called Earth and escaped here through a dimensional merge because they were being overrun by Jews and negroes and other such races, and have come here in order to be "free from persecution" and "have a place of their own".
These are NOT ponies, they are never like ponies and they will NEVER serve our monarchy. If we let the humans in, we will literally be cucking up our own race.
So, if we want to preserve our own ponies, we must come up with a plan.
I am opening the floor to my you, my trusted advisors, for suggestions on this matter.
What shall we do with these… humans?
I suggest we build a wall, or a big beautiful fence, which is see through.
P.S. Do they have hands? If so can they open this jar for me?
>>203906>Be Celestia >You sit in your thone as messenger pony enters through the two large double doors in the other end of this audience chamber>He bows deeply when he reaches the end of the long red rug that covers the floor from the doors to the throne
"You may raise." You gesture upwards with your hoof. You notice the wings on the messengers back. "I expect you to bring news from Cloudsdale. Was my proposal to meet with thunderous hoof stomps?">He backs away when he hears your words and lowers his head when he meets your hard gaze
"N-no, your majesty. I am not sent from Cloudsdale. I am to inform you that one of those ho-omans has surrendered to us."
"What? Is he a prisoner of war? Did they attack?"
"No, the hooman arrived at the gates this morning and-" >You look past the pony and at the closed double-door
"What? He is here?"
"Yes, your Majesty. He is currently held captive. Captain Shining Armor wanted to hear your orders regarding the hoouman's request.">Your eyes narrowed
"Request? What does he want?"
"He came here to act as an ambassador for the huoommans. He wants to discuss a potential alliance between us and them. Or at least negotiate forth a peace treaty." >You scratched your chin with your golden horseshoe
"Fine, tell Captain Shining Armor to send him here." >The pegasus saluted her and trotted out off the roomNow human, we will see if you can convince me to let you live.
>>203906>and most of them are distinguishable by their blue eyes and blonde hair.>blonde hair.
Lol, I was going to make joke about me being left behind on earth to be cucked but now it wouldn't makes sense.
Also, ">most of them" Am I a minority now? Awesome, >#Brownhairmatters
>>203906>"have a place of their own"
Not compatible with Equestria's vital space.
I vote "Exterminatus".
>>203906>they will NEVER serve our monarchy
Do you mean you don't want them to, or that they'd refuse to do it?
'Cause, I'm pretty sure they've already started infighting on which princess to follow by now. Unless they got the infighting out of the way beforehoof to save time.
So, you finally killed off Luna? Or did you forget about her, again? One of these days we're going to get Nightmare Moon 2: Aetheric Boogaloo, if you keep that up.>If we let the humans in
If that's the problem, they don't need to be in Equestria. Plenty of unclaimed wilderness on the planet you could escort them to. Then post some guards and tell them to stay out.
They're only a problem if they make themselves a problem, after all. If they cooperate then there's literally no problem.
>>203954>Why not have the humans serve as a fiefdom?
Here we go.
Foreigners don't belong in Equestria.
We all know the end results of to open the gates.
"Okokok, here me out. How would you like to learn how to build Nukes?"
Lets start at the beginning. "Steam trains!"
P.S Why do you have trains with with rams at the front, then ponies in front of that?
P.P.S Why do you claim to move a sun? Wouldn't rotating the planet be more efficient?
P.P.P.S. Will you kill us because we know the TRUTH!?
>>203971>Why do you claim to move a sun? Wouldn't rotating the planet be more efficient?
Why would you assume that it's got the same cosmology that Earth does? Magical talking ponies with magic, anon. They probably actually do have a geocentric universe.
Mr. Griffon says that we should let the humans in.
(Fraud is cause for immediate revocation of any rights granted)
Marital status: Degenerate/Virgin/Married/Widow
I have a criminal record on earth: Y/N
I have unpaid debts on earth: Y/N
I fully submit to her royal highness, princess celestia: Y/N
I renounce democracy: Y/N
I intend to lewd the ponies: Y/N
I am bringing more than 100ml of liquids: Y/N
I am bringing earth fruit, vegetables or meat: Y/N
I am bringing other earth organisms: Y/N
I intend to touch holder's boulder: Y/N
I am bringing earth technology: Y/N
I will never apply or share earth knowledge or inventions: Y/N
I will never apply the sqientific method: Y/N
I will never remark that the wonderful technologies granted on the request of the ponies by princess Celestia herself such as trains and hammers are being used inefficiently: Y/N
I will respect the NAP: Y/N
I will always do the opposite of what the gryphon says: Y/N
Yet she still moves the sun. May as well leave the sun where it is and rotate the planet instead, even if it is central to the universe.
Like how the hell do you rotate the planet? Wouldn’t that require rotating the entire universe around the planet? Isn’t that what they are doing already?
I'd say it's safe to assume the physics are the same. Just apply a torque to the planet as a whole, more efficient than rotating the entire universe.
Celestia could just rip up a chunk of ocean floor she doesn't like, magically turn it into a fertile wonderland, remove most of its gravity and enchant the island to float, and then… Boom, humans can live in the floating Angel Island.
>>204016>Boom, humans can live in the floating Angel Island.
But not in Equestria.
It is telling how many poners here came with the worrisome "let us make a place for them" heresy.
Do not be fooled. Mere proximity is enough to do damage.
If we let them stay, they'll >rape our mares.
HUMANS OF EQUESTRIA
It has become clear that despite our most innocent intentions that the repressive and incompetant monarchy of this land will noy welcome us beleagered refugees! The reason is clear, the pony elite, including the cake eating harlot celestia are in league with our enemies!
Even before our arrival, the effete, treacherpus pony elite worked openly with the vile gryphon kikes, they willingness to embrace tolerance and diversity for their other neighbors but NOT for us humans is evidence of an anti-white conspiracy that has entrenched itself into every aspect of the equestrian government!
It has become clear that the only way to secure the existence of our people and a future for white children is to take up arms against yhis backwards, corrupt, and anti-white government, which is not as monolithically supported as they would like to think.
Even now brave mares and stallions, sick of the excesses of the monarchy are joining us in struggle against this foul regime, together we will usher in a new dawn in equestria.
We have the ability to win, we have the knowledge, technology and will of thousands of years behind us, we will tame this land just as our ancestors tamed the pontic steppe, european mountains and plains of america, we will manifest destiny across this land and in the end qhat we found as a backwards uncivilized land will be a vibrany paradise for human and pony alike free of the tyrany of a magical kleptocrat.
Long live humanity!
Bla, bla, bla.
Celestia has the magic, you have none.
You type like a griffon, lies, distortion, and deception is your nature.
GTFO before is too late.
Chiao and die.
Daybreaker vs an F16
(Fraud is cause for immediate revocation of any rights granted)
Name: Anon Nr. 06
Marital status: Degenerate
I have a criminal record on earth: NO
I have unpaid debts on earth: NO
I fully submit to her royal highness, princess celestia: YES
I renounce democracy: YES
I intend to lewd the ponies: YES
I am bringing more than 100ml of liquids: NO
I am bringing earth fruit, vegetables or meat: NO
I am bringing other earth organisms: NO
I intend to touch holder's boulder: NO
I am bringing earth technology: NO
I will never apply or share earth knowledge or inventions: NO
I will never apply the sqientific method: NO
I will never remark that the wonderful technologies granted on the request of the ponies by princess Celestia herself such as trains and hammers are being used inefficiently: NO
I will respect the NAP: YES
I will always do the opposite of what the gryphon says: YES
Signature: Anon Nr. 06
Will you allow me close to your mares now?
Why can't we just use magic to turn all humans into ponies again? The only thing that they have to lose is their humaness or whiteness or something…
I mean, sure, most would be completely against it, but it wouldn't hurt just to turn a few of them into ponies… right?
What have you done!?
That boulder better have fallen over on its own
>>204274>combat aircraft vs. literal dark souls boss
was there ever any doubt?
Followup question: How many F-16s would it take?
as many as can be made into flying fire engines
I don't care if you're a fucking dark souls boss, getting BRRT'd by something moving at Mach 2 isn't gonna be fun
no pinkemina, cock and ball torture is not allowed in this class
Truly the ponies are the Herrenvolk! We are not worthy to come inside Rainbow Dash!
What if they are boyfriend material?
Boys aren't "they" unless they're plural, you know.
Didn't Rainbow Dash hit Mach 10 when she did the Sonic Rainboom?
If one equates the sound barrier with the rainbow barrier (a sonic boom vs. a sonic rainboom) then that's mach 1 not mach 10
>>204590>fighter jets have rainbow trails innaquestria
It's funny how the talk of humans in the ponystate turned into a thread about Holder's Boulder, then about Rainbow Dash's speed stats.
I love this place!
Has there been stories like this before? I get the feeling that this has probably been made into a fic before.
nigger human go home!
But how will we kill off those humans?
Gas chambers, concentration camps, masturbation machines… what would kill them?
That sounds so absurd, that… it just might work!
One problem, though: How are we going to keep giving the humans all the communism they want before we bankrupt ourselves as well? Wouldn't we end up with an enormous debt trap that we couldn't end up paying in order to the humans with all our riches even though we don't like them?
Won't ponies start complaining about this even if they'll die in the long run?
Call me blackpilled, but even if we somehow manage to stop the inflow of humans, Equestria's doomed. But the biggest problem is Sorrel Reuters.
When Nova Freewing, Councilmember of Cloudsdale's weather program, helped Diamond Dogs raid her village as a filly for unicorn slaves, he killed her father as she hid underneath the floorboards of their home; she then vowed to destroy the pegasi and the Diamond Dogs as races. She's been living with the dragons as a champion and assassin for a long time, but she will follow through.
She'll most likely steal the Scroll of Greater Cloudtrotting from Canterlot (one of the most interesting scenes being her first hoofsteps on the floating city as the pegasi watch in utter shock) and permanently ground Cloudsdale, taking it out of the sky with magic, getting vengeance on Nova in the process with the help of her ragtag band of friends. The Mane Six may attempt to fight her, but they will lose.
The other countries will invade the borders as Equestria's guard is overstretched, trying to fight external powers and the internal turmoil created by Sorrel Reuters, unicorn revolutionary.
There is no saving Equestria. The Changelings aren't the real threat, but the dragons are definitely moreso. Just enjoy the show. One by one barbarians will attempt to capture the glory of Equestria in their own kingdoms, but all will falter. This last burst of sunlight over the crest of the mountains should be cherished, for it might be the last golden ray for a good long while.
This is incredible!
You're doing a fine service to the Equestrian community, pony Hans. Keep up the good work.
why do you need to see flags or you get mad? stop judging people off their countries they happen to be born in you faggote
>>214387>stop judging people off their countries they happen to be born in you faggote
A flag most likely identifies the poster's race, you faggot.
A non-White has not the same gravity pull than a White, don't you know?
THEY MUST BE PURGED>>214395>A flag most likely identifies the poster's race
Not really, most countries on the planet have substantial populations of Europeans, especially in Latin America
>>214396>Not really, most countries on the planet have substantial populations of Europeans, especially in Latin America
True, the European diaspora is big and wide, but a flag is a great indicator of Whiteness probability.
If you were paying attention, you'd realize the fag in question is OP
What are you, mad!? It's just a light push on a pony's snout, like a button. What about those big ape hands could possibly be so devastating as to warrant a declaration of Exterminatus? No, we just need to reach out and ask why they boop the way they do. Surely the creatures will be reasonable, right?
Go ahead Hang us. it wont un-boop you.
Oh sweet Luna's plotcheeks I was wrong, I was completely and utterly and horribly wrong
! I can't feel my face! I can't breathe! I can't speak! If I weren't reporting this over media, I wouldn't be able to get a single word out, I just…BUCK!Maybe a second attempt at reasoning with the hyoomans is in order? For science??
Yeah. It sucks at first, but it gets better as it happens more often. Eventually, if the same human boops you enough and you actually like them, it’ll start to be pleasant!
I need my hourly boops. Please, you boop my snout me I'll yours. Just, Right on the snoot. I-, come on you boop me once I'll boop you twice. I'm desperate here. Look I know a mare that knows a colt that knows a filly that knows a mare that has an imitation hand, but it isn't cheap or that easy to get to. Three boops. I have to get my boops one way or another you understand right? I can't relapse now. I'll even try connecting you with a, shhh, human. Shhh, shhh. Not so loud. I need my boops. I'll bump into ponies just to get by if I need to. Four, four boops to one it's a good deal I'll even do another boop for free.
Do not let these creatures boop you or your foals! I hear that these "humans" occasionally spread….STDs! How does anypony still have herpes anymore!? It's not even concealed by fur so they have no excuse not to clean that shit up! What the buck is wrong with these freaks?
STDs aren't spread by fingers, you prude! Also, viruses can't be scrubbed away. Your mom already tried that and learned the hard way.
I know, I was implying that humans have no excuse not to seek magical medicine since it's more visible on their furless skin. Also see >>215644
Ah, I thought you meant literal scrubbing. Also, you shouldn't be that hard on them for having it at the rates they do; it has many different strains that are capable of being spread even through very minor interactions, like accidentally drinking from some other human's water bottle.
>>215660>you shouldn't be that hard on them for having it at the rates they do; it has many different strains that are capable of being spread even through very minor interactions, like accidentally drinking from some other human's water bottle
I came here to laugh at you.
Even their economic activities is sublimation for their sexual urges. Devious creatures! Their unwholesome ways drive a pony to the bottle.
Maybe social programs can solve the issue of their disruptive and selfish ways.
>>215782>cherry punch>only relevant image
not RPing here just to say that I've seen far better images than that of this sort of thing, you didn't look hard enough.
>>215788>not even into it
b a d t a s t e
Shut up! It's not my fault their stupid monkey dicks are always being shoved in my face!
>>203906>They call themselves… 'humans', but in all honesty, they're worse than ziggers. They say that they've come from a planet called Earth and escaped here through a dimensional merge because they were being overrun by Jews and negroes and other such races,
We must not let whatever those jews or negroes are through! Even if they are the natural predators of these 'humans' we must not allow any more contamination.
If the way they came through is open have the humans, ungf, guard it with our directing forces.
If it is closed for good we can harness whatever talent they have, for the good of Equestria. Even if that means, Celestia forgive me, being a physical barrier for greater dangers.
-Tough Choice before the boopening
The first report of booping caught my eye. I needed to know more. My position as one of Celestia's advisors means taking on burdens so she doesn't have to. When I made it to the location I witnessed it first hoof and first hand.>>215528>>215554>>215645
Seeing ponies reactions was telling. One must have been a human researcher. The other an upstanding citizen.
The crazed pony came up to me, and asked me to boop them. I didn't quite know what a boop was so I asked for an example.
As I write this I'm not okay. I booped them back and asked her to follow me for further research into the boop and possible cures.
I hope that the researchers find a cure.
>>216116Sure thing anon.
Looking at the Tartarus Records and REDACTED
's files, I had to talk to the humans. Though I do need to bring this idea up at the next advisory session.
Most humans despite there inclination to, I still feel chills, boop, snuggle, cuddle, pet, brushie, and cutie talk to. They could refrain from doing any of those. Telling them the social and romantic implications of their advances most of them would apologize. The rest would also apologize and proceed to 'romance' the ponies.
Dear Luna, and Celetia these creatures are lewd.
Did anypony know that these humans have their version of all our problematic 'citizens'.
If the lowest levels of Tartarus had several dozen lower floors and occupied an entire planet that only scratches how terrible the place they came from truly is.
Apparently these humans are our counterparts in that terrible place.
Let that sink in.
Our counterparts, without the Princesses guidance, with no magic, with no heartsongs.
I have never in all my years as advisor felt this much horror and pity at the same time. Then they gave me a normal comforting hug with their arms.
They wanted so baddly to boop, snuggle, cuddle, pet, brush, and much much more.
But they didn't.
I'll need to make sure an ambassador and messenger to these humans know how to deal with them.
At the very least I can use my special talent more with these humans around.
They are not ready for Equestrian integration, and they won't be for a long time. We may need to use Discord
to prepare a place for them. They seem chaotic enough that he would like them.
This is Tough Choice signing off on this scroll for the record.
Celestia, Cadence, and Luna damnit I spilt my drink over the scroll. Again.
I got in contact with an exclusive and hard to find pony, Extreme Fetish, she can do things with her body and magic that will make your head spin. Effy also happens to be a close and dear friend since grade school. When she came to me about coming out of the closet with the truth I was thinking of something much different than being a changeling. That wedding was a weird time for the nation.
Extreme Fetish should be the perfect candidate for being an on site messenger and liasson for the humans. Even after looking thorough The C. Directory for somepony.
She will like the humans. Perhaps a bit too much. Effy should be able to taste if they have any bad intentions too. I need to make sure they know she is a changeling and under my protection and supervision. Can't have the Canter Circus Crisis all over again.
Finding a willing and strong willed ambassador is not going well. At all. If this keeps up I'll have to use the emergency option.
has come up dry and short. Literally Dry and Short. He's pulling a Q on acceptable targets.
I'm going to need to have a tea party with the Element of Kindness. Celestia buck it. I still can't look at tea cups the same way after what Effy did.
Infact if I wasn't taking part of and have reports on REDACTED
I'm sure this entire human business is an overly complicated plot by The Princess of Love and Discord
to get a stuffy advisor to get back together with a childhood friend.
Speaking of advisors, memories and ambassadors. Apparently the humans sent one to Celestia. Luna and Celestia damnit bureaucratic work will be the end of me. Bucking standardized specimen research forms.
The human better be in at least more than skin and bone when I get there.
They don't call me Tough Choice for nothing.
Notes to self.
Find out what the tartarus pulling a Q means.
Get glasses that blackout tea cups.
Find the human.
FIND AN AMBASSADOR! If not Write a letter to The Princesses about the situation.
Try to remember the other thing I wrote on the scroll.
[Last 50 Posts]
It's time for tea with The Element of Kindness. Named, hmmm the document has water damage, Flullersnv. Cutie mark is of three butterflies. Pegasus, takes care of animals. Working on project The Big D and The Friendship Gang
The name looks to be a bit too damaged and I'm out of time. The glasses are here! YES!
It's x-ray goggles for medical work.
Right, this is not good. Having Fluddersnu in a bad mood is dangerous to my continued wellbeing. At least I have icecream that tends to go well.
I knock thrice.
A Pink and Yellow pony cowering behind the opening door. This will not be a fun visit.
Softly and calmly I speak, "Hello, I'm here for the tea party with Discord. My names Tough Choice and I have a difficult choice for you to make."
She whimpers, but the door is still open.
"Vanilla or Chocolate icecream?"
She relaxes slightly as Floppersky murmurs her inaudible choice.
"Luckily I have both for this little get together miss?"
F l u tt er sh y. I hope that I got it right or else none of the princesses will save me now.
"That is a pleasant name, Fluttershy. Do you take care of the animals near here?"
Quietly she exclaims "Oh, yes I take care of the little guys." She may be a member RED Party further research later is necessary.
"That's wonderful, miss. Can any of your animal friends also enjoy icecream?"
Ah, good she finally invited me inside. The dreaded tea cups. She's saying she's supposed to meet Celestia's adviser. Talking time.
"Indeed I'm Celestia's adviser on more than just sweet treats." I wink with a glance at my cutie mark.
Discord is at the table. Grinning. This will not be a pleasant tea party.
No time like the present to drag my name through the mud.
Discord the gentlepony pulls the seat out for both of us. Mine happened to have melon preserve on it. This is fine. It's times like these I want a horn. Then again my heart would give out before I could use it.
At least Discord's melons are pleasantly distracting. Then saucy dancing saucers with tantalizing tea cups come out of a large chest through the small keyhole.
Discord reverse sipps the tea pot for a bubbling cheese wine with yodeling gummy dictionaries. All off key.
Drinking it is not as difficult as suppressing memories of Effy and tea cups.
Discord smiles knowingly. "So, what brings Celestia's Tough Choice out here to visit little ole me? Surely it's not for the tea cups nor for my dear friend."
Don't buck this up.
"That is true, and I am intruding on personal friendship time, I came here with three questions for you."
The sticky stuff under my flanks is a welcome distraction.
He motioned to continue with all the silverware. Even Fluttershy looked interested.
"Would you be willing to create an area for the humans to live in once the details come out." I just lost my tail don't freak out.
"The other questions if you would?"
"What do you know about pulling a Q and how is your friendship time here?"
Discord actually for a moment gave a warm smile. Reminds me of the Princesses.
"I'll consider it, In a moment, time with 'shy is always a welcome treat." He got up, pulled the ground so I would be right next to him and he told me everything. By the means of a lazer gun, firing beam.
To borrow a human expression. Those chuckle fucks on Earth are fucked.
Pale and sweating I speak, "Thank you both for having me interrupt your tea party, but I think something I ate for breakfast doesn't agree with me. Fluttershy, Discord it's been a pleasure."
I run out the door into the human outpost embassy. A tent with an Equestrian flag. I curl into a ball and laugh. My shaft already fully erect. Damn you daily reporting paper work.
Then Effy walked in. With a human female. With a medical skeleton and multicolored rubber gloves.