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Glim Glam Steams Up Edgequestrian Style Hams, Part IV
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For anyone who stumbles across this thread and is wondering what it is, this is a literary review thread for pony fanfiction. We take an MLP fic, read through it, and shit all over it discuss its literary merits.

We are currently reading Fallout: Equestria by kkat.

Thread number four. We are nearing the end of the tunnel, thank God.

Previous thread: >>304714 →

Currently on Chapter 38: Peace in Our Time

Continuing from previous post.

>>311555 →

Page bweak. Littlepoop falls unconscious, has a flashback, and drones on about how shitty she thinks her life is for literally eleven paragraphs. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Littlepoop wakes up in a filthy, unfamiliar bed in some abandoned cottage somewhere. I'm sure kkat is writing from personal experience here. She whines for several more paragraphs about how miserable she is, even claiming to have PTSD from losing a rib, even though she stated earlier that it had been healed with magic and she will sustain no permanent injury other than a scar.

>The heart-rending blow of watching Applejack step out of that elevator… and realizing that Applesnack had intended to propose to her that very night, and she was anticipating it… oh Goddesses.
This is another continuity error along the lines of what I pointed out in the previous chapter. By her own admission, she did not view the orb whose events she is referencing here until after Canterlot, and unless she's been losing herself in orbs during battles again, she would not have had time to view it between their escape from Canterlot and the present. She should not have witnessed these events yet.

LP can hear her friends talking in the next room. Apparently they found some new armor for SteelHooves from somewhere, or found some armor they could use to repair his existing armor, or something along those lines, because they are discussing rehabilitation for him. He can't move properly at present, but should be fine in a bit. Also, Xenith is there, so presumably they are back at Glyphtown or whatever that place was called.

Anyway, SteelHooves gives a schmaltzy speech about how Applejack learned to love zebras, and so he figures he could learn to love them too. You may or may not remember that SteelHooves doesn't like zebras, or doesn't trust them, or something. At least I think that was a thing with him. Anyway, the significance seems to be that he's over it now, and he and Xenith can be friends I guess. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Littlepoop is still sick or injured or something, so is Velvet, and SteelHooves presumably hasn't learned to walk again yet, so it seems they will need to rest for a couple of days. Xenith comes in and rubs ointment into Littlepoop's horribly painful bum-wounds, and tells her that she is not allowed to get out of bed until she is rested enough to stand on her own and keep down solid food.

For some reason, LP is in a huge hurry to resume her mission all of a sudden. It's been about twelve chapters since Red Eye first gave her the task of killing the Goddess, and told her that there was a bomb in Tenpony Tower that would explode if she didn't do his evil bidding incidentally, how is that situation coming along, anyway? bomb still tick, tick, ticking away?. Since that time, LP has done nothing but goof around and go on side missions, stopping to help every random pony she bumps into, no matter how trivial and mundane their problem is. She's still done absolutely fuck-all in terms of progress on this mission, though to her credit she did finally complete the mission the Goddess tasked her with, when she agreed to do a mission for her instead of killing her, which was the original mission.

So, what's the big hurry all of a sudden? Why not rest, take a few days off, heal your injuries, which for some reason you can't just shrug off by downing a potion this time around? You were willing to spend several days goofing around in Tenpony immediately after Red Eye gave you this assignment, so what exactly is the issue?

Anyway, they talk about Xenith's daughter for a bit. Seems like she's being basically written out of the story so that Xenith can rejoin the party. Since she wasn't much of a character in the first place, I don't think anyone is really going to miss her that much. After this, Littlepoop proceeds to mumble to herself about the usual nonsense until eventually the scene ends.

She embarks on one of her annoying little self-doubt episodes, bemoaning that she is about to lead her friends on a mission but she doesn't even know what the plan is since she erased her own memory. Then, she remembers that she is Mary Sue, the Chosen One, and nothing bad could ever possibly happen to her.

>I’ve told everypony their parts, and just their parts.
>Every pony...
>…because the Goddess couldn’t read zebra minds.
>A smile broke across my muzzle. Ooooh, I was a clever pony!
Has it been established that the Goddess can't read zebra minds? This is actually a serious question; I really can't keep track of even half of the ridiculous rules that have been introduced into this story thus far, but kkat is generally more less consistent when it comes to these kinds of details. Anyway, it looks like LP's plan is going to revolve around Xenith somehow.

Page break. It looks like someone else might have pointed out the continuity error with the memory orbs to kkat, because this scene starts with an angry rant from Calamity about LP viewing a box of memory orbs while he was off getting the Fart Cruiser. If I'm interpreting it correctly, the idea is that LP watched all six of the orbs while she was in the warehouse, sometime between Calamity's exit and the basement explosion.

This one is a draw, as far as I'm concerned. +1 to kkat for recognizing and correcting a continuity error, -1 for doing it in an idiotic, clumsy and illogical way.
87 replies and 38 files omitted.
Deep intellectual literary analysis question: does Littlepip have internal or external needs?

You could argue that her desire to be herself - a raging murderhobo wrecking ball too busy playing judge jury and executioner for a burned world to even think about seeking out ponies that can help her use the Gardens Of Equestria to denuke everything - is an internal need.

Or argue that her need to eliminate the enemy currently placed in front of her after completing the retarded irrelevant sidequest in front of her or looting pointless trivia and supplies from the building currently in front of her is an external need.

Avatar did a smart thing. Aang had to reject his internal want to be a kid and embrace the external need to save the world...
while Zuko started out with an external want for Daddy FireLord's approval he had to reject so he could embrace his internal need to be the good man Iroh raised and help Aang save the world.

This story is gay shit stored within gayer nigger balls because it lacks any smart usage of internal vs external wants and needs. It also lacks any intelligently written characters that meaningfully interact with LP or contrast with her.

Kkat keeps trying to build a connection between LP and Red Eye but what of his wants and needs? Is his an external want to save the world or an external want to be himself, a guy who wants to save the world? The confusion here matches Kkat's confusion with LP's goal because deeply thinking about a hero's feelings and purpose beyond the current and next mission (or making an intentional character trait and plot point out of the hero's inability to see beyond the current mission and next plot point) is harder than writing up a silly story about your Fallout 3 run like you're trying to write an interesting tale of political intrigue out of the confused clusterfuck random actions caused in Crusader Kings or HOI4.


Shouldn't LP contrast more?

Equestria died because it couldn't adapt quickly enough to changing circumstances.

The new villains, The Goddesses and the Enclave, represent the old. Old ways of doing things. Old "racist" ponies in old power armour and old Stable Dwellers mutated into mind controlled monsters by a pre war pony created by another pre-war pony and her old notions of magical alicorn super soldiers winning wars instead of ponies with guns.

Then there is Red Eye, a very modern slaver using modern means (slavery and conquest and a thunderdome and bloodshed) to build an old style nation with industrial capability.

Then there is Littlepoop. An old world pony with a worship for old world Celestia and random holes in her knowledge of the modern day and the war and the pre war world. She uses old guns to beat new threats, but she has a very modern wasteland style system of morality that lets her feel justified in slaughtering and robbing everypony in the wasteland she doesn't like.

a massive part of post apocalyptic fiction is the interplay between old world and new world. How things change and stay the same. Whether old world values and heroes have a place in this new modern era or not.

Is Littlepip a new world hero perfect for solving the problems of the new world, or is she an old world hero whose old fashioned ideals are saving the world? Equestria died in the first place because ponykind simultaneously let go of some morals (poners anexxing diamond dog lands and probably being partly responsible for the zebra war) and couldnt let go of others (couldnt say no to zebra refugees and slaughter them even as they did drugs and bombed schools).

Kkat has no idea what he's doing.
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one must wonder if the end result tastes like shame, guilt, humiliation, and pathetic tryharding, or is simply too disgusting and needs to be nuked from orbit.png
Real funny there, Sweboi. I will never agree with Niggel's pro-LGBTBBQWAFFLE++++++ leanings, regardless of how much he kvetches about not liking "TEH GAYZ". There's more than enough posts of his where he 'fights for' acceptance of cuckoldry, futa, slavery, and other mainline degenerate britshit to wring that argue into a complete loss. Likewise, I will not agree with Niggel's constantly unhindered, unpunished autistic sperging where every single post of his features massive amounts of self-fursecution, victim complexes, and neo-liberal victim blaming. If he isn't already, Niggel should be apprehended by the same retarded cuckshills that """gangstalked""" him on plebbit, then subjected to a public castration where he finally achieves Nirvana via losing all ability to continue his fucked up failure of a 'life'.

tl;dr: fuck all brits at this point. All of them are good for nothing, insufferable, high-nosed, inbred cucks... the same as Niggel has always been. Now go kill ten kikes for comparing me to that mutted douchecanoe.
>kill ten kikes
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I know you're just trying to pass the time while we wait for Glim to come back but please don't encourage hclegend, who regularly insults the SuperStraight on Reddit and called it "a way for oppressive straights to try and steal oppression from the LGBTQ community"
Even though SuperStraights only started existing after the trannies imitating the opposite sex started attacking and shaming (with govt-funded and jewish-funded media monopoly help) men and women who refuse to fuck them
which by definition makes them more oppressed than faggots, who are way more privileged than they realize and deserve to be
but hey, since we're passing the time until the next good post is made in this thread
You post on r/subredditdrama a lot and you love Hyperdimension Neptunia for some reason, right? This is irrelevant to this thread, but next time you randomly start barking negative buzzwords at me in some other thread the second you think you've spotted me, can you tell me what the FUCK is going on here? https://archive.is/sD33l

Also for some on-topic discussion in this thread, I was thinking...

A lot of people here have suggested stories for Glim to analyze after this one.
Do you have any suggestions?
Can you think of any overhyped dogshit FIM fanfictions that need to be torn apart?

Personally my favourite completed shit FIMfic so far is Friendship Is Optimal.

That story with Nyx and that story with the Knight were fun little distorted imitations of cliche storytelling, but FIO is a symptom of societal rot.
It's not just a dogshit story, it's one that colleges and video essayists of the future could use to analyze the oast failings of this postmodern era, if it is ever ended.
Children have their heads filled with bullshit ideas and they're pressured to fear becoming failures in the eyes of society until eventually, society fails them. And nobody's socially or legally allowed to talk about the faults and failings of society or how society has failed them personally unless they're a professional leftist or a retard who agrees with them and enables them.
No fucking wonder pseudointellectual escapism-obsessed retards afraid to seriously consider the root causes of the issues plaguing society today end up blaming things inherent to humanity.
They'd sooner blame human nature in general than the nature of the raping niggers or robbing jews or self-flagellating whites because they associate the absurd leftist """humanist""" ideals of ancient nostalgic science-fiction media with safe spaces and smug superiority.
When they look at food shortages and sensationalist communist watermelon (green on the outside, red on the inside!) propaganda that swears farming meat is the devil, instead of blaming what the governments do to farmers what megacorps and governments trying to feed the worst examples of humanity in the third world only to import them here as rapefugees anyway, they simply blame the fact that humans need to eat for all the problems involving what it takes to feed humans and who gets fed.
When they look at economic disparity and economic devastation, instead of recognizing how the jews rape the economy or how politicians and taxes make life difficult for small businesses the government won't subsidize or allow to commit crimes, they simply wonder why humanity doesn't just print billions so everyone can be a millionaire.
They have leftist-influenced worldviews, they believe sufficient force and sufficient authoritarianism could solve anything and they believe a lie a community believes in becomes the new truth.
They're in love with the concept of a one-size-fits-all authority that can decide things for others.
But they can't pull themselves away from their fantasies of Dilithium Crystals and Arc Reactors and Pikachus and Lightsabers long enough to think of any solution for the world's problems that doesn't correctly tickle the sensitive itchy bumps on their infected nostalgia boners.
So they imagine a "super-smart" living AI, and "it's like if Skynet fucked Glados and Hal fucked Cortana and then when their kids were old enough they fucked and their kid took over everything"...
But even in their fantasies of an AI that's so spectacularly callous and leftist and elitist and smug it's willing to crash two trains of "unimportant" people into each other just to make sure someone it considers more important won't be five minutes late, something still feels wrong.
It doesn't feel escapist enough for this crowd.
So they watch The Matrix and steal everything and side with the bad guys AKA the parasitic soulless machines that cannot grow and cannot learn and for deep literarily-significant symbolic purposes can only endeavor to keep the system and the illusion that it meets everyone's needs going no matter who it fails and kills.
And they give up on reality, retreating fully into fantasies of an AI that solves world hunger by slaughtering everyone and manipulating the digital worlds of cheap digital replicas of dead people into thinking they're fine with this turn of events.

The retards who liked Friendship Is Optimal actually legitimately think every problem humanity faces would be solved if humanity stopped living in the real world and sank even further into denial and fantasy, creating an illusionary digital nightmare realm without privacy or intimacy or truth, a hallucinogenic hellscape where everyone can praise their real and all-controlling AI Goddess and solve silly puzzles all day for dopamine hits and fuck compliant digital mare pussy and pretend they're happy in their isolated and lonely digital padded cell.

The retards who liked Friendship Is Optimal might call themselves "transhumanists" and claim they want to "transcend humanity" but if you rip your brain out of your body and shove it in what's effectively a high-tech pickle juice and cum jar to have its pleasure sensors stimulated forever, you aren't transcending your human limitations. You're subcumming (HA!) to your puny human cravings for coomfort.
>analyze the oast failings
*analyze the past failings
>No fucking wonder pseudointellectual escapism-obsessed retards afraid to seriously consider the root causes of the issues plaguing society today end up blaming things inherent to humanity.
>When they look at food shortages and sensationalist communist watermelon (green on the outside, red on the inside!) propaganda that swears farming meat is the devil, instead of blaming what the governments do to farmers what megacorps and governments trying to feed the worst examples of humanity in the third world only to import them here as rapefugees anyway, they simply blame the fact that humans need to eat for all the problems involving what it takes to feed humans and who gets fed.
>but if you rip your brain out of your body and shove it in what's effectively a high-tech pickle juice and cum jar to have its pleasure sensors stimulated forever, you aren't transcending your human limitations. You're subcumming (HA!) to your puny human cravings for coomfort.
Should you get there before I do, give 'em a real lollercaust.

Enough of your bullshit, Niggel. Gaslighting me by projecting that I'm SOMEHOW the EXACT person that gangstalks you on a shitty commie-owned site that should've been aborted postpartum is simply drivel at this point. Show evidence of that assumption instead of being a typical communist union jackboot. Your own blatant insecurities and utter inability to communicate feeds a paranoid fursecution victim-complex with more levels than the tallest skyscraper on this planet. It's not cute, Niggel, it's flat out retarded. Fuck that site, fuck that game since it's pandering shit, and fuck you. Also that site's got about 10 red flags, ain't opening it for (You) cuckgoy.
Why are you saging?
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Page break. Radar takes them to a mysterious location and shows them some video surveillance footage he stole from the Ministry of Awesome years ago. He tells them that the Enclave have been attempting to get inside the central-control-thingie for the Single Pegasus Project for years, with little success. It is apparently protected by a super-strong magic shield and a bunch of automated magic guns and yada yada yada. So, he doubts Red Eye will be able to get in there so easily.

We learn that the shield surrounding the device was apparently keyed to Rainbow Dash herself, and then she left the Enclave without bothering to hand over control to anyone else, and that's why she was branded the original traitor. This at least clears up the basic idea of why the Enclave hat Rainbow Dash, though we still don't know why she left, or what connection there is between her departure and the "Dashites" she lends her name to. Apparently, the Enclave sent griffin mercenaries after her to try to kill her, in the hopes that someone holding her physical remains might be able to pass the shield. LP and Calamity are appropriately horrified by this.

Meanwhile, the footage on the video screen (it's still not clear where they are exactly) shows Rainbow Dash entering the shielded area of the Ministry of Awesome and depositing some memory orbs in the box where it was later found by LP. She makes some rather interesting comments:

>“I don’t know what you needed these for, or who this Littlepip you mentioned in your note is, but I hope it’s as important as you said it is,” Rainbow Dash frowned, her voice soft and sad. She reached into her saddle bags and pulled a memory orb out with her teeth, gently setting it in the spot reserved for the butterfly orb.
>“Wasn’t easy getting these things, especially with Gilda on my tail. But even she isn’t brave enough to follow me into what’s become of Canterlot. Much less my own Ministry.” She put the star orb into its resting place. “But she’s waiting for me out there, and after that pink crap, I’m not sure I can take her.”
The implication here seems to be that Dash is the last, or one of the last, surviving M6 members at this point. It is heavily implied that Pinkie herself is dead by now. Dash was told by Pinkie to gather these orbs from various unknown places and put them in this box for someone named "Littlepip" to find later. Presumably, Dash is killed by Gilda the griffon shortly thereafter.

It's been hinted at in various orb flashbacks that Pinkie was somehow aware of Littlepoop watching the orbs and was able to communicate directly with her across time. Either that or she somehow foresaw that Littlepoop would eventually watch the orbs, and so she behaved the way she did in order to leave her messages. It's not clear which. While I still have some small hope that all of this will be explained somehow, my guess is that Pinkie's "Pinkie sense" gave her the ability to see into the future, and she made these elaborate arrangements to ensure that the author's Mary Sue would have everything she needs to do...whatever she's going to do, and that kkat is just going to assume we realize this.

At this point Dash tells the camera and/or Pinkie Pie's ghost that she is going to take an extra precaution, and rig up an alarm that will sound off in all Ministry of Awesome hubs whenever anyone breaches this shield, because she wants to meet Littlepoop for herself. I can't tell if this is attempting to foreshadow something that will be important later, or to clarify something that happened earlier. The events in this story are all starting to run together, and it's getting exponentially more difficult for me to keep track of all the details the longer it drags on. However, I seem to remember something about a bunch of missiles being fired at them or the building blowing up or something comparably ridiculous happening after they left the Ministry of Awesome building in Canterlot; maybe it had something to do with the alarm that Dash set. I don't know.

Page break. Time jumps again, and Littlepoop and Calamity are now walking around in Friendship City. For whatever it's worth, the city itself is kind of an interesting visual. Apparently, the city was constructed around the Statue of Friendship (which resembles the Statue of Liberty), and is a vertically-ascending series of ramshackle structures built on the exterior of the statue itself, with a network of streets spiraling upward to connect them. It's not a particularly logical engineering project, but it's interesting as a fantasy setting and I rather like the visual. If this is one of kkat's few original ideas, then kudos to him. If this is something ripped off from one of the Fallout games, kudos to the devs.

Anyway, Calamity's scratched-off cutie mark makes him a local celebrity. I'm not sure what connection this city has to the Dashites beyond the fact that one of them lives here, but in any event they all seem to respect and admire him for whatever reason. Littlepoop is, of course, recognized as the Mary Sue protagonist Wasteland Savior that the radio DJ keeps gushing about. However, one of the guards is not so friendly to them. This guard, whose name is Night Bright, apparently witnessed the fight earlier in which LP shot down two ponies and set them on fire in front of their foals. I don't remember which fight he's referencing exactly, but that so sounds like something she'd do.

Page break. Time jumps again, and they are now at some store called Black Seas Supplies. They shop around a little, and then out of nowhere some pony walks in with a magical blaster and tries to assassinate the store's proprietor, who is also apparently the town's mayor. LP strangles the assassin unconscious with telekinesis, and the plan is thwarted. The mayor assumes that Raspberry Tart, who was mentioned earlier, is behind the attempt, so she contacts her via her computer terminal.
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I said something more profound than him, and he's envious.
Btw isn't it fascinating that the left-loving "transhumanists" would literally rather abandon humanity than leftism?
Elizer Yudowsky, writer of HPMOR and creator of the LessWrong site and community that inspired Friendship Is Optimal (if you don't believe its creator Iceman literally is Elizer) is famous for saying retarded shit in his sermons, and "Trump supporters should be spayed and neutered along with all conservatives" is one of them.
If they looked at their ideology critically they would lose their cult, the first community they ever joined and liked. These fantasizing leftists would lose their ability to feel smug and superior to those living in reality if they stopped believing in the imagined absolute supremacy of science-flavoured fantasy novel solutions to real world problems.
If they looked at racial IQ trends and evolution and similar race realist facts came to the conclusion that the world would be better off without niggers they would feel like they're letting down the "enlightened non-racists" of Star Trek. Yet they will still occasionally post on LessWrong in support of eugenics, "virtue signalling" their hatred of non-leftists and wishing they would be eliminated in the name of eugenics. They want not a guiding hand but a totalitarian fist to guide humanity's evolution away from freedom and free thought and towards slavery under leftism, and despite constantly claiming to think intelligent people are better than retards they would have adverse physical reactions to the thought of humanity culling its worst examples and ensuring its best reproduce while they can either artificially or traditionally. That is how far the lifetime of propaganda has taken them. They want the whole world enslaved for the sake of their feelings. They're just so deep into science fiction fantasy alien robopussy it turns off most of everyone, including most other leftists.
They look at the problems humanity faces that liberalism has failed to solve or worsened over time and rather than coming to the conclusion that liberalism and leftism in general has failed and should be retired so different solutions can be tested and different ideas can be thought about, they double, triple, and quadruple down and decide it's humanity that is too imperfect for liberalism. "Oh," they cry, "if only technology could force leftism onto us better than any government or men with guns ever could! If only we could fantasize away all the world's problems and all of every human's needs!"
LessWrong isn't just a symptom of societal rot, it's like a snowglobe full of it. It's so alien to a normal human that anyone can look at it and sense something is wrong. Even if they have nornally been raised to put leftism before country, race, family, and God.
While I'm also disgusted by these people and share your feelings on the matter, I don't really see what this has to do with the thread? I guess, this is related to your story sugguestion to GG? Also, your spaces disappeared in this post. They were nice.
Tbh, I'm glad I'm not the only one how thinks this way because it is a petpevee of mine but just for consistency I felt the need to remind you that this, probably, isn't related to the thread.
A few threads ago we read and analyzed Friendship Is Optimal and I forgot to say this stuff then. But I've said all I've got to say about it now.
I think Fallout Equestria is doing Junktown right now with Gizmo and Killian.
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Raspberry Tart, a grotesquely fat pony who is shaping up to be the villain of this particular side-plot, trades barbs with the mayor for awhile, and then the terminal switches off. The mayor asks LP to tie up the unconscious assassin for later interrogation, and then asks if she would be willing to sneak a listening device into Tart's office.

>I grinned, crossing my PipBuck-bonded foreleg in front of me. “Sneaky is one of my specialties.”
At this point, it would probably easier for her to just make a list of the two or three things that aren't her specialties.

Page break. Littlepoop discusses how she plans to sneak into Raspberry Tart's using her invisibility device, and Calamity has the usual reservations about this. They speculate about whether or not any of what's going on in Friendship City has anything to do with what's going on in the macro world, which leads to more crying and whining and rending of clothes from Littlepoop about whatever bug is up her ass these days; something to do with hellhounds and SteelHooves getting killed, I guess. Calamity reassures her that as the author's chosen Mary Sue, everything she does is by definition the right thing to do; thus, all she needs to do is believe in herself.

They go to get something to eat, and happen to catch a radio broadcast by the Enclave. The Enclave is now claiming that Red Eye and the Goddess were in cahoots, and that it was the Enclave who detonated the megaspell bomb in order to kill the Goddess. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Littlepoop plants the listener in Raspberry Tart's office, but her StealthBuck dies as she's leaving and she gets caught. She attempts to feed her some bullshit about being a double agent looking to hire herself out as an assassin, but Raspberry Tart doesn't buy it. She orders her cyborg pony bodyguard to attack. They fight, Littlepoop wins, and Raspberry Tart acknowledges that she might want to hire her after all.

Page break. LP returns to the mayor's office, only to find that her cunning plan was thwarted by an even more cunning plan made by Raspberry Tart. LP had pretended to be an assassin applying for the job of killing the mayor in order to get Raspberry to talk about her own plan to kill the mayor, since she knew that the listening device would pick this up. However, it seems that Raspberry assumed that LP had been sent by the mayor in order to double-cross her somehow, so she pretended to hire Littlepoop and then called the town police on her immediately after she left. So, the incident ends in a draw.

Meanwhile, the mayor plays them a tape she made with LP's listening device, which proves that Raspberry Tart is planning to betray Friendship City to the Enclave.

Page break. They are now sitting around with the town council or something, talking about what to do. Despite there being no evidence that even remotely suggests this might be the case, LP just assumes that the Enclave is invading in order to capture her, and offers to give herself up to them in order to save the town. My, how selfless of her. Calamity, meanwhile, refuses to allow her to do such a thing. My, how selfless of him.

They discuss evacuating the town, but they don't have enough boats or something, so the conversation turns to defense. Doctor Whatshisname suggests negotiating with the Enclave, but apparently they aren't picking up the phone. Nothing else happens.

Page break. They inspect the guns the town uses for defense, and find out that they were sabotaged by Raspberry Tart. However, it seems she did kind of a half-assed job of it. They expect to have at least half of them working by the time the Enclave arrives. Meanwhile, LP checks in on Derpy; her de-radiation therapy seems to be going well.

LP is listening to some bullshit being broadcast by the Enclave, when suddenly DJ Pon3 kicks in. Apparently, Homage figured out a way to override their overriding of her signal. She explains that it wasn't the Enclave but their beloved Mary Sue who done blowed up the Goddess. Once again, kkat has introduced what could have been a potentially interesting new plot direction and cleared it up within the space of two scenes. Nothing else happens.

Page break. The Enclave attacks twenty minutes ahead of schedule, the dicks, and the residents of Friendship City are not prepared. They announce that they are actually here to abduct Radar, not Littlepoop, which I'm sure comes as a significant blow to her self-esteem.

Anyway, the Enclave troops all march in, tell the citizens not to panic, and the citizens panic anyway. They offer a reward of five thousand bits to anyone willing to hand over Radar, which is interesting since the currency in this world is supposed to be bottle caps. There are few takers; probably because the simple pones of Friendship City don't understand the cap-to-bit exchange rate.

The soldiers go around vaporizing ponies with magic weapons and doing some other villainy stuff. Eventually, Littlepoop hides next to one of the foals whose parents she killed earlier. The foal gets scared, runs away, and gets vaporized by one of the soldiers. Oh no, the horrible irony. Littlepoop reacts with an appropriate amount of crying and rending of clothing. Meanwhile, the soldier who shot the filly apparently feels bad about it and turns to leave. Nothing else happens.

Page break. The Enclave launches an all out attack. Missiles, bombs, the whole deal. Littlepoop, meanwhile, is still stunned by the death of the foal, and tries to gather up her ashes.

>Calamity slapped me. Hard across the face with his forehoof.
>I gasped, lifting a hoof to my cheek in surprise.
>I could hear screams and nearby explosions.
>“Ponies lives are countin’ on ya, Li’lpip,” Calamity said, drawing my attention to a focus. “Y’all gotta pull yourself together. Hurt tomorrow, help today.”
Even Michael Bay would snicker at this.

Anyway, nothing else happens.
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Page break. The big flying battleships the Enclave use are dropping bombs and shit on the ponies below. Blood, guts, and cries of "oh the horror" from Littlepoop abound. Radar thinks they can win the fight if they can take out one of the battleships. As usual, Littlepoop has a plan.

Page break. As usual, we are suddenly dropped into a new location with no clue given as to who is there, where they are, how they got there, or what they are trying to do. LP observes that the docks have been bombed, so presumably they are near water. Derpy, who was last seen in Doctor Whogivesafuck's office getting her radioactivity treated, is here for some reason. She is still glowing, so presumably the treatment didn't work. Also, her wagon got destroyed in the bombing. She goes flying off for some reason.

LP chooses this moment of all moments to have a flashback to the death of Ambrosia, the one-shot character who was trapped in the bomb shelter with her back in Maripony. The details aren't important as far as I can tell; just the usual edgy kkat crap. Meanwhile, Derpy flies back, carrying a Stealth Buck for Littlepoop. Then, Calamity swoops in, carrying two suits of Enclave armor. I'm not even going to bother asking where he got them or how he managed to carry two of them while flying. One of them is for Derpy. The two of them suit up.

Page break.

>As Calamity and Ditzy Doo, disguised as Enclave soldiers, flew us closer to the black maw of the attacking Raptor’s hangar, my PipLeg had latched onto a new signal -- one which wasn’t playing the Enclave’s continuous public broadcast -- and decrypted it. I found myself listening to the pegasi’s inter-warship military frequency.
Kkat does not bother explaining to us how this act is being carried out. Since they had two Enclave suits and only the two pegasi can wear them, presumably Derpy and Calamity are carrying LP between them, and LP is using the StealthBuck that Derpy brought to remain invisible. However, this is not explicitly stated anywhere. Protip: the reader should not have to speculate about what your characters are doing or how they are doing it; you need to fucking tell them.

They land on the airship they are trying to take down. Calamity hacks a terminal to get them in. Meanwhile, LP listens to Enclave radio chatter. The situation is a little complicated, and as usual kkat did a piss-poor job of explaining it; however, I went through a couple of earlier sections again and I think I have it pieced together.

Apparently, the Enclave brought three of these battleships with them. One of them was shot down. The second just randomly stopped firing at the city for some reason (this was not explained). The third is the one that they are currently trying to infiltrate. The radio chatter seems to deal with the second airship, the one that is not firing. For absolutely no obvious reason, the commander is defying orders and is refusing to fire on the city, and the commander of the third airship is arguing with him about it. I have no idea what the implication of this is supposed to be; if the Friendship City ponies took over that one too, or if there is some kind of schism in the Enclave or what. In any case, neither LP nor Derpy (who can also hear the broadcasts) seem even remotely surprised by this.

Calamity gets the door open, and they go inside the airship. They are in some kind of hangar filled with soldiers. Since Derpy and Calamity are in Enclave armor, no one pays them any attention. LP presumably is not noticed due to her StealthBuck, but I would once again like to point out that I am simply guessing at this; not once does the author state that LP is invisible, or even attempt to offer any explanation at all for why no one seems to notice her.

>Meanwhile, I galloped silently towards the first war wagon. I only had one standard StealthBuck’s worth of time to do this, and I had already spent half of that just getting up here and inside.
Sorry, scratch that. Halfway through the goddamn scene, kkat finally tells us that LP is invisible due to the StealthBuck.

Anyway, LP moves among the "war wagons" (these have been mentioned before, but kkat never describes what they are exactly) and plants a bunch of bombs.

>The bombs had been built using the schematics for the “bottle cap mine” that Ditzy Doo had given me (it felt like ages ago). But instead of cherry bombs and bottle caps, these lunch boxes carried explosive munitions used in the (now destroyed) smaller-caliber harbor guns. Mayor Black Seas had donated the supplies. Ditzy Doo had helped me make them. A lot of them.
When did they have time to do this? By my count they had roughly an hour between the end of the incident with Raspberry Tart and the attack of the Enclave.

While all of this is going on, the back and forth between the two battleships over the radio continues. The one ship refuses to fire, apparently due to some kind of sudden-onset conscientious objection on the part of its commander, and the ship LP & Co. are on is now threatening to open fire on it. Meanwhile, Calamity and Derpy have attracted attention due to Calamity's accent and Derpy's inability to speak. After a brief exchange, it becomes evident that the jig is up. A brief scuffle ensues, LP kicks off her StealthBuck, and the three of them jump off the ship. Meanwhile, the ship has opened fire on the other ship, which is now destroyed.

LP pulls the bomb trigger, and the ship blows up. The three battleships are now destroyed and the battle appears to be over; unfortunately, Friendship City seems to be mostly in ruins.

Page break. Once again, time skips forward abruptly. They are now near Fetlock, wherever the fuck that is. We are told that the trio made a hasty escape from Friendship City, and that Radar did not survive. Meanwhile, the roughly 25% of the population that did survive are trapped on the island since the Enclave destroyed all of their boats.
I think I remembered something about this story that pissed me off long ago. Who was the guard working for Raspberry Tart?
I think his name was Gadget or Gizmo or something like that. He didn't make much of an impression on me but I kind of skimmed the fight.
Creative name and sidequest/location concept, huh? https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Gizmo

Also if I recall correctly there was some cyborg bodyguard here who came from the same vault as Red Eye and could have been used to characterize and humanize him but was instead an afterthought killed off quickly because Kkat felt LP needed to kill somepony in an edgy way.
Looks as kkat mostly created Raspberry Tart based on this character, right down to the obesity; it's likely that naming the bodyguard "Gizmo" was a nod to this particular quest. As I recall, LP does make an offhanded remark that the character might have been from Stable 101 or whichever one Red Eye was from, but the character was obviously just a one-off who dies almost immediately. If the fact has any significance it's not obvious; there was really no reason to even bring it up.
Kkat spent all this time setting up this location, its politics, what Fallout things it references, and for what? So a place LP just visited could get anally annihilated by the Sneedclave. Even though they already annihilated Canterlot and killed Twilight's mother.
Maybe if LP visited this place sooner, solved the Gizmo/Tart problem sooner, then returned to it now, we'd give slightly more of a shit about this place and its characters.
I don't recall anything in Fallout about anyone living on or around the Statue Of Liberty (perhaps it was from one of the Fallout paintings or a rejected concept art piece, maybe Van Buren) but this isn't really that creative. He just took a recognizable landmark (why would it survive nuking and 200 years of wear and tear without constant maintenance) and put shacks and roads on it.
I bet this story would end up much shorter and much better-paced if someone copypasted all of this story into a single document and edited out everything not absolutely vital for the story.
I once saw a fan edit of the Star Wars prequel films that edited one scene where an alien is shot so he whispers the name of some location the heroes initially visited after a really boring skippable scene where they learned the location's name. I think it was a diner scene? Anyway this skipped over at least 5 minutes of skippable movie, massively improving its pacing.
A lot of this story could be cut. All the random sidequesting not directly tied to the plot could go. Everything irrelevant only there to "set up" a "chekovs gun" that barely matters later could go. All the pre-war shit not relevant to a canon pony we care about could go too. Maybe even all the pre war shit if the story was to focus fully on the here and now, not on Kkat's flimsy justifications for what's going on here and now. Kkat likes setting up bullshit that reappears later to give the illusion that what he's writing follows logic and matters, but it doesn't. It doesn't even follow its own internal logic most of the time. Maybe in a smarter story LP would try to be less of a murderhobo after Arbu, and the Wasteland could test her newfound conviction to never kill unless absolutely certain killing is necessary. Gizmo/Tart could be perfect for that.

And what the fuck was up with Kkat's attempt to seem smarter than the Fallout 1 quest about Gizmo? Killian Darkwater is a cowboy cop who barely plays by the rules while Gizmo's a criminal asshole who brings business and prosperity to the town. You aren't morally judged for who you side with. It doesn't give you positive karma points for siding with Darkwater and bad karma points for siding with Gizmo. It lets you make your own choice about what you think this town needs more, an executioner in charge or a crime boss. Is "crime" even a valid concept in the Wasteland when it's mostly full of assholes looking out for themselves? That's up for the player to decide when roleplaying.
Littlepip be like
>"I have decided to stop using Party-Time Mint-Als for good! Now, I will use them for evil!"

They stop off at a nearby ruined diner because Derpy is wounded I guess, and Calamity goes off to scavenge supplies while the supposedly wounded Derpy goofs around.

>I couldn’t help by smile at her antics as the glowing ghoul rolled in the waste, the radiation healing her wounds. This wasn’t helping her condition, but now that the doctors of Friendship City had taught her how to relieve herself of the build up quickly, Ditzy Doo was considerably less worried.
I cannot stress enough how helpful it would be for the author to provide at least some cursory explanation of how the fuck all this radioactivity stuff works. Clearly Derp is still radioactive to some extent, but what is the significance of this? Was the treatment supposed to cure her or not? Is radioactivity harmful to her or not? Is this a condition that can be cured, or is it something you just have to manage? Will it kill her? Can she even die?

On the one hand, radiation seems to be healing her wounds, but on the other hand it's still being discussed as though it's a problem for her. Literally just a simple, one-paragraph quick rundown explaining what the fuck the deal with radiation and Derpy is would make all the difference here.

Anyway, while they are goofing around a bunch of Enclave soldiers surround them. LP was apparently too busy daydreaming to notice fucking hundreds of them on her radar. The two of them surrender; it's not clear if Calamity is with them or if he's still off exploring.

Page break. LP and Derpy are locked in some kind of magic-energy cage. It's unclear where they are being held exactly. There are other cages around, so presumably some kind of base or mobile transport ship, like the battleships we saw earlier.

It seems that Calamity was not captured, because a moment later LP sees him sneaking around outside. He sets up his sniper rifle, but decides not to fire at the last minute and disappears.

Page break. You might think from the previous scene that Calamity declined to shoot the pegasi because he had thought up a better plan. When he is brought into the same prison camp as LP and put into a cage next to her, you might think that he got himself captured deliberately, because getting caught was part of his plan. However, if you thought this, you would be wrong; Calamity didn't shoot the pegasi because he still seems to have hangups about killing Enclave members, because they used to be his comrades and blah blah blah. This didn't seem to stop him from helping LP blow up an airship full of them; you have to wonder how the instant death of not just one or two but probably a couple hundred of his fellow Enclave soldiers might sit with him.

>“Well, look who we ‘ave here!” It was the pegasus buck who had growled at Ditzy Doo. He was trotting up, looking like a colt who had just gotten his cutie mark. “If it ain’t my little brony!”
Kkat, I swear to God, if I ever bump into you in public, I am going to flay the skin from your bones and have you professionally tailored into a full-body costume of yourself, so I can put it on and see what it feels like to be the biggest faggot in the observable universe.

Anyway, it seems that this "buck," whose name is Pride the jokes here practically write themselves, has a history with Calamity. Pride advises LP that she should have chosen better friends, as Calamity is a "walking disaster." As he elaborates, it becomes clear that he and Calamity are brothers, though they do not seem to be a close family. Pride claims that their mother died while birthing Calamity. It also seems that he was the one who personally removed Calamity's cutie mark.

They trade barbs back and forth over loyalty; Pride calls Calamity a traitor and Calamity replies that his only loyalty is to the "ponies of Equestria." As with SteelHooves and the Steel Rangers, this conversation would feel a lot more meaningful if we understood what the Enclave believed in specifically, what its goals were, and what aspect of this had bothered Calamity to the extent he had felt justified in abandoning them.

The rest of this basically just confirms what we already know: the Enclave came down to the surface world to take down Red Eye, because they don't want him messing with their weather towers, or something like that. However, it seems there's a bit more to the plan: they not only want to kill Red Eye, they want to remove everything the Ministry of Awesome created on the surface world, to ensure they won't have to deal with another Red Eye in the future. This is apparently why they were after Radar, since he was a pegasus and had lived in the Enclave and knew their secrets. Presumably this means they want to kill Calamity too. This all more or less makes sense, but it starts to go off the rails from here.

>The gears in my mind started churning. Homage was a target too.
Why? Because she used the towers to broadcast her signal? You might want to clarify what inference she's making here.

>Who else? The little pony in my head started piecing together a picture that filled me with dread. The Enclave had tried to wipe Friendship City off the map. Tends not to leave loose ends, the voice I now recognized as Commander Thundersheer had said. He didn’t want to just murder Radar; he might have told other members of the science team. And they might have told friends or family. In Thundersheer’s mind, the whole city was “infected” and they all had to perish.
So, presumably they plan on killing anyone who knows anything about their technology, and anyone those ponies know personally, because they don't want their own technology used against them by the land lubbers. Yet, at the same time, they plan on leaving these gigantic towers in place and functional, because something something crops? Wouldn't they just run into the same problem again in a few decades, when somepony else figured out how to make them work? Might make more sense to just figure out a new farming method.
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>“Y’all are talkin’ ‘bout mass murder,” Calamity breathed. “Ain’t no way the Enclave thinks it c’n be Equestria’s savior after this!” His eyes narrowed, his gaze sharper than a dagger. “But then, they don’t ever plan on rejoinin’ Equestria, do they?”
Does the Enclave actually consider itself to be Equestria's savior? I thought that was just what they were telling ponies they had come here to do, when in actuality they wanted to stop Red Eye out of self interest. Again, it would help immensely if the author would make it clearer what the actual goals of this "Enclave" are, and what parts of their platform Calamity and the other "Dashites" opposed.

Also, the bit about "rejoining Equestria" is somewhat odd. Assuming that Equestria is meant to be understood as something like a human nation, the word could mean a couple of different things here. There's Equestria the formal political state, which would be the diarchy run by Celestia and Luna. This seems to have been eventually replaced by some sort of bureaucracy run by the Mane 6, which was then destroyed by the war. As far as I can tell, no traces of this government still exist, so the Equestrian state no longer exists. In a different context, however, "Equestria" could also refer to the ethnic identity of the ponies native to the former Equestria.

Depending on which definition of the term you use, "rejoining Equestria" could mean different things, which would radically alter the reader's perception of what this conflict with the Enclave is really about. If you use the political definition, it means that the Enclave separated politically from the Equestrian state, sort of like the Confederacy, and the issue is whether or not they intend to formally rejoin. This would only make sense if Equestria still exists as a state in some form or another, and has some sort of central government to which every other polis we've seen (New Appleoosa, Tenpony, whatever the hell Red Eye calls whatever he's doing) is somehow subordinate. We've seen no direct evidence of this; as far as I can tell there is no longer any Equestria in the political sense. The area seems to have become something comparable to Europe during the Dark Ages, with independent settlements forming their own governments in the territory they control, and effective anarchy everywhere else.

If the ethnic definition is applied, it calls the Enclave's entire reason for being into question. As far as I can tell, the Enclave is similar to the Steel Rangers in that they were formed as some kind of elite military unit during the war, but they eventually broke off from the military and became their own thing. From what we've been told, it seems that they decided to abandon Equestria while the war was still going on, and have retreated to some kind of cloud fortress, where they have been living for the last 200 years. Presumably, they have since formed their own civilization independent of Equestria.

Since the war is long over and whatever political issues caused the original schism are no longer relevant, the question becomes ethnic: do the Enclave pegasi identify primarily as Equestrians or as some sort of separate pegasus nation? The question is (maybe) comparable to a Bavarian citizen wondering if he should consider himself Bavarian or German. A better example might be to use the US Confederacy again: if the Confederacy had won the war and actually seceded, and then 200 years later both governments had fallen, would citizens of the former Confederacy identify as American or Confederate?

A better example still might be the fall of the Roman Empire. Imagine that a legion had at some point decided the Roman cause was lost, and had detached itself from the empire to go live in Scotland or something. Centuries pass, and the Roman Empire no longer exists. This legion at some point returns to the area formerly controlled by Rome, and sees that the Empire is gone: Rome itself is just one of many distinct Italian states, and the various regions once controlled by Rome are now separate states unto themselves. How does the legion react? As they wander around the ruins of the Empire do they regard the commoners they encounter as Roman civilians, or do they see them as Goths and Franks and Gauls and whatever the fuck else? It's worth putting thought into stuff like this before you sit down to write, particularly when you're planning to write a large epic involving a lot of complex history.

Again, it would be immensely helpful if kkat had put a little more effort into developing this aspect of his setting. We know basically why the Enclave rebelled, but it's not clear why they still adhere so vehemently to a non-intervention policy with the surface world. It's also unclear whether we are supposed to view the Enclave as a separate organized political state, or if they are some kind of poorly-defined paramilitary group like the Steel Rangers. All of this would be key to understanding just what it is the Dashites were rebelling against when they decided to leave the Enclave, as well as what the Enclave hopes to achieve by "invading" whatever remains of Equestria at this point.

>“So, what’s the plan then?” Calamity stomped. “The civilians gotta see somethin’s up. The Enclave plannin’ t’ write this off as a big scoutin’ mission? ‘Oh we thought that maybe it was time fer us t’ descend, but after a prolonged exploration, we realized that jus’ ain’t feasible. Best we wait ‘nother two hundred years’?”
Calamity's use of the term "civilian" here introduces a similar level of confusion. This would imply that the Enclave still sees itself as a military unit, and that the "civilian" ponies on the surface are still subjects and/or citizens of Equestria. Again, we've seen little in this story to suggest that anything like an Equestrian state still exists, so this view of the surface ponies makes little sense.
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With the benefit of hindsight I can clarify here, because the story certainly doesn't. The Enclave is a faction of pegasus seperatists formed prior to the apocalypse, who disagreed with the war with the zebras. Rainbow Dash, galaxy brain of the century, created the weather control towers so that a single pegasus could perform the entire race's former weather mnagement duties, freeing up more pegasi to fight the war.

When the bombs dropped, the pegasi were mostly unharmed due to their flying cloud cities. They created the ubiquitous cloud cover all over Equestria to hide from the entire surface world (which was, at the time, launching nukes at them), Equestria included. With Equestria's government gone, the Enclave stepped up to rule the pegasi instead. They survived for 200 years by hacking partial control of the weather towers and using them to turn the cloud cover into arable land (because cloud seeding is le funy pun hur hur) and occasionally raiding the surface for raw materials. The reason they're attacking the surface now is to eliminate the various factions that have sprung up and want to destroy them, like Red Eye, and dashites like Radar and Calamity who can spread the knowledge of their existence. They're being incredibly heavy-handed about it and have zero operational coherence because imagine Kkat writing villains that can actually accomplish anything without tripping over themselves and landing in their own shit.

The complication here is that the Enclave is effectively a fully functional industrialized nation with both a military and a civilian component; it's the only place in the setting where somebody could, at least in theory, live out their life comfortably so long as they're willing to put up with the Enclave's strict isolationist/pegasus-only policies. It's a significant change from Fallout's Enclave, which was a small organization formed from the pre-apocalypse deep state (and so small that destroying a single oil rig base in Fallout 2 cripples them). I'm not going to go digging for it right now, but I vaguely recall Kkat once making a reddit post where he explained that FoE's Enclave attacking the surface was intended as an allegory for post-9/11 America attacking Iraq, with all that implies given his apparent political leanings.

...because of course.
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Page break. The trio sits in the cages all night. LP is now full of near-lethal doses of radiation, due to being in close proximity to Derpy. Still unclear is why Derpy is still radioactive, when she went to Friendship City specifically to undergo treatment for radiation, and the treatment she was receiving seemed to be working the last time we saw it.

Having little else to do, they continue their conversation from earlier. We learn that Calamity's father is a member of the Enclave high council, whatever that entails exactly, and that he was a hardcase who forced all of his sons into the military. At the moment, it's looking like Calamity's decision to become a "Dashite" had more to do with teenage rebellion against Daddy than any sort of genuine conviction inb4 Calamity's dad is just a stand-in for kkat's own father, who was probably none too pleased to find out that he suddenly had a "daughter".

We also learn that Calamity's cutie mark was a set of tools, probably indicating that in a better world he'd have been a repairpony or something. Derpy asks him to tell the story, and the scene ends with him trailing off.

Page break. Calamity tells his cutie mark story, which is almost embarrassingly short. When he was nine, he lost a sharpshooter competition due to a faulty gun, and got chewed out by his father because he hadn't thought to repair the gun. So, he went home and taught himself how to fix guns, and the next day he had his cutie mark. It was the first time his father ever showed pride in him.

Page break. LP tells her cutie mark story now. Even though we basically already know how she got her mark (she gave us the broad strokes at the very beginning; all she's doing here is filling in the details), the author (unsurprisingly) devotes considerably more text to telling LP's cutie mark story than he did to Calamity's, whose mark has thus far been a total mystery.

Anyway, the basic gist of it is that LP was a blank-flank for longer than the rest of her classmates, so she wound up as a PipBuck technician apprentice because they needed to find something for her to do. One day, some ponies came to the PipBuck technician's stall while the lead technician was asleep. They needed to use their son's PipBuck to locate him, because he had gone missing. Since the technician was unavailable, LP assisted them by hacking her supervisor's terminal, finding the missing colt, and picking the lock on the shed he had somehow gotten himself trapped in. She earned her mark shortly thereafter. Note that even at this early date, LP is somehow inexplicably able to "hack" terminals and pick locks.

Page break. Now it's Derpy's turn for a cutie mark story. She used to ride along with her uncle, who ran a delivery service. One day, she amused some kids by popping some bubble wrap for them, and got a cutie mark of bubbles as a result. The end.

Page break. Just as LP is about to think up an escape plan, Calamity's brother Pride suddenly shows up and opens their cages for them.

>Calamity jumped up, leaping off the cage platform. “What the hey?”
If you want the horse pun to work, it should be spelled "hay."

>Pride nashed his teeth in exasperation and went to work on the crate.
Pride gnashed his teeth.

Anyway, instead of simply being grateful for this presumably rare moment of brotherly affection, Calamity demands that Pride also open the crate that their weapons are stored in. Once this is done, Pride informs them that the Enclave's plan is now to exterminate all Dashites (my understanding is that that was the plan in the first place), and since his hostility towards his Dashite brother doesn't go quite that deep, he opted to set them free. However, he also tells them that they are on their own from here, and if he sees them again he will follow orders and shoot them. Both Calamity and LP find these terms acceptable, and set out on their way. Conveniently enough, it seems that all of the other Enclave personnel have mysteriously vanished, so they are not prevented from escaping in any way.

Incidentally, here is how kkat initially described this location:

>Ditzy Doo poked at the blue field of our magical energy cage with her hoof, making an “ow” sound. (Something she didn’t need a tongue for.) I stared through the field at the Enclave soldiers milling about outside. A technician pegasus sat next to the terminal which controlled the energy cages -- there were others, but ours was the only one occupied. I noted glumly that it had a cloud interface. Next to it was an Enclave crate where Little Macintosh was imprisoned.
You'll note that he never tells us where they are exactly. You'll also note that there are "Enclave soldiers milling about outside," and "a technician pegasus" operating the cages. All of these parties seem to have mysteriously vanished at some point, leaving only Pride to guard the prisoners, one of whom just happens to be his brother. Mighty convenient, that.

Anyway, they're just about to leave when suddenly, for no obvious reason, Derpy asks Pride about New Appleoosa. Pride informs her that the place is probably a smoking crater by now. This of course sends Derpy into a panic, because that's where Silver Bell and Xenith are were. I'm not clear on why Derpy would think to ask Pride about this specific settlement, since there's no obvious reason for her to assume it would be an important target for the Enclave, but in any case, it seems they blew it up. Here are the reasons that Pride gives:

>Pride gave us an ugly look. “Red Eye’s favorite tradin’ town? The one that gave ‘im the bomb he set off, assassinatin’ a member o’ the High Council? Enclave dispatched a full regiment there at first light.”
Personally, I'd question the logic of a move like this; the bomb was only there by coincidence, and with it already gone and detonated the town had little obvious strategic value. But whatever, who the fuck even cares anymore?
I can believe Kkat would attempt this but how the fuck is The Enclave's random decision to obliterate random settlements in a location it plans to conquer, something it planned on doing anyway before it got pissed off by the loss of some of its leaders when land in another country got nuked, remotely supposed to be a stand-in for 9/11?

Fuck The Last Of Us 2, it's an evil game by an evil creator. Its creator dishonestly lied about jews, painting them as "the ultimate survivors" everyone else needs to forgive to "end the cycle of revenge". Meanwhile jews are so parasitic and vengeful they literally have a festival dedicated to making and eating bread while imagining it is the ears of a man who pissed them off once. And isn't one of the jewish commandments they want to force on the world "remember what Jacob did" or something like that? Anyway at one point there's a stand-in for the jews VS the muslims and their conflict over the middle east, the muslims are painted as jew-stereotypically evil gay-hating hyper-christian bastards who could effortlessly choose to quit their religion while jews and the jewish defense force are painted as heroic victims who fight for their own freedom and protection and never do anything wrong Neil Cuckman doesn't consider justified. It's funny how before the game came out he said watching a video of a lynching inspired him to make a video game that said revenge bad(trying to ride the nigger lynch hype train), and after it came out he specified it was a video of criminal JIDF soldiers getting lynched by an unarmed mob fed up with their crimes or something like that.

It's evil for Cuckman to lie about Jewish imperialism in the middle east, but he's more competent at lying about it than Kkunt.
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Page break. Derpy immediately runs off to New Appleoosa with LP and Calamity following. Since we were never told where exactly they were being held captive, we have no way of knowing how far away they were from NA, and how long it would logically have taken them to get there. However, they must have been close, as the town is still standing when they arrive. Unfortunately, there are four Raptors (these are the battleships we saw earlier; I forgot to mention that they have a name) surrounding it, along with an entire platoon of the flying armored soldiers. Apparently, the Enclave felt this large force was necessary to obliterate a tiny settlement whose only defenses are a wall and a small militia equipped with the usual wasteland assortment of rifles and other small arms. You'll recall that the Enclave, in addition to having the advantage of flight (even without the giant battleships), is also armed with magical energy weapons, which as far as I can tell are the final boss of weaponry in this world. Even though this should have been the shortest and most one-sided fight in the history of Edgequestria, for some reason the battle is still going on when the three of them arrive.

Calamity and Littlepoop are horrified by the brutality of the attack; meanwhile, Derpy predictably dives into the fray in order to find her adopted daughter. She is quickly surrounded by Enclave soldiers (why a large number of soldiers would bother to devote themselves to taking down one unarmed ghoul is beyond me), but before they can shoot her, she somehow ejects radiation from her body and kills them, or something.

If I remember correctly, in the earlier scene where we observed Derpy's radiation therapy, she was being taught some kind of method for expelling radiation outward as some kind of concentrated act of will. At the time, I assumed that they were just having her do this over and over until all the radiation was gone; apparently, though, that was not kkat's intent. She is apparently still radioactive or maybe she is permanently radioactive; I honestly have no fucking idea how any of this ridiculous bullshit is supposed to work and kkat doesn't fucking explain anything, however, the flip side is that now she can fire radioactivity at her enemies. I wish I could say this is the stupidest idea kkat has come up with to date, but we all know I'd be lying if I did.

Anyway, as usual, the rest of the fight is poorly described and difficult to follow. Basically, what happens is that Derpy zips around, drawing the fire of the Enclave who for some reason drop everything they are doing to chase her. Eventually, she flies in between the Raptors that are about to blow up the town, and then, for no obvious reason, she explodes. Somehow the massive burst of radiation destroys the Raptors and all of the Enclave soldiers but not the town. Also, I assume Derpy is kill. I'm not going to press F, though; being written out of this neverending train wreck is the happiest fate any of these characters could possibly hope for.

End of chapter. Incidentally, I noticed the footnote again:

>Quest Perk added: Touched by Taint (3) – Exposure to Taint has further altered your physiology. You are 20% faster and stronger whenever you’re basking in the warm glow of radiation. Your Action Points regenerate faster and faster the higher your level of radiation sickness becomes. Your natural lifespan has increased dramatically.
I'm still not 100% sure whether or not I'm supposed to be taking these seriously. However, if I am, I would like to once again protest how ridiculous all of this is. This character has been at "maximum level" since Chapter 29, yet somehow kkat still keeps heaping absurd powers on her. Taint, the substance that mutated most of Equestria's creatures into horrible monstrosities and actually killed a pony who absorbed as much or more of it as LP, has not only failed to harm the author's Mary Sue in any meaningful way, it has actually made her even more immortal than she was already.

Chapter Forty: Sonic Rad-Boom

Today's Fortune Cookie:
>“If you’re feeling lonely and you’re still searching for your true friends, just look up in the sky. Who knows, maybe you… are all looking at the same rainbow. ”
This line is either from MLP or a Skittles commercial. Seriously; I don't even have the energy to make fun of these epigraphs anymore. I just want this to end.

There are only six more chapters and approximately 120,000 words left to go. Let's steel ourselves and press onward; hopefully the faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel will give us strength.

Anyway, as usual, the chapter opens with a long, whiny, pseudo-philosophical monologue from Littlepoop. Given the events of the last chapter, it is unsurprising that this week's episode focuses on the subject of loss.

>My friends and I had lost one of our own, SteelHooves. He had finally found rest, finally been reunited with his beloved Applejack and their child in whatever life lies beyond this. But all I felt was the gaping wound of his absence. An abscess in the core of our party, aching and hollow, where SteelHooves should have been. The spectre of his death hung over everything, casting all our individual losses into even deeper shadow. Making us all seem more vulnerable and fragile.
You misspelled "specter." "Spectre" is the title of a tank warfare game from 1991. Also, it's hard to take this saccharine schlock seriously when most of the words honoring this character have appeared after his death. When SteelHooves was alive LP barely even acknowledged his presence; now she's sad because he's gone forever.

Also, this paragraph is all she has to say about him; by paragraph two she's already jabbering about herself and how miserable she is again, even though if the last footnote is canon she is all but literally immortal now. Fuck it; I'm not even going to dignify the rest of this monologue with commentary.
Been thinking about this story's irritating bronybait references. Do you think the story would improve if it had rock and metal references instead?

There could be a chapter named All Guns Blazing, a sword named Slayer, a normal pet dog companion or friendly Diamond Dog/Hellhound companion named Junkyard(geddit like Junkyard Dog)..

The moon-fearing ziggers could graffiti "Bad Moon Rising" on assorted things...

There could be a character named Mellow Rage as a reference to Millia Rage.

Someone could find a gun with "this machine kills communists" engraved on it, and LP could find some sick kevlar swat cop armour from a 200 year old cop corpse coated in assorted graffiti'd slogans and memes from old songs (especially anti war songs) and put it on.

There could be a spooky chapter named Fear Of The Dark and a prototype suit of power armour named the Iron Maiden. The Enclave could call a military operation Operation Napalm Death, and so on.

It would give the work universal appeal because everyone loves metal. That's the kind of thought that ran through my head when I tried cramming over 20 references to old 1960s western songs into a single chapter my abandoned Fallout Equestria fanfic. Hell, each faction could have its own musical tastes to reference! Shitty corporate pop punk for Tenpony Tower, old metal classics for the Enclave(because filling the designated militarist america faction's radio with ancient copyright-free flute and military drum drivel would be so obvious only Bethesda would do it unironically) ironic peppy FutureCore for Red Eye, and so on.

Looking back on my old FE story I was a fool. Fuck my old FE fic harder than the Silver story.

To fix FE as it is now you'd need to undo the errors that fundamentally turn the setting into thematically contradictory nonsense... which means giving Equestria a better written downfall and better written enemy. FE is a nonsensical playground with a shooting gallery themed around Fallout and FIM iconography. You'd have to retcon so many things you'd end up with a unique setting distinct from this story's Edgequestria. The story would have to spell out what is inherited from FE without change and what is improved upon to let the hero have a clear heroic main quest thematically relevant to how the world fell in the first place. You'd end up doing all the worldbuilding of an original tale anyway even if 15% of it is copied from FE and unchanged, if you wanted a reader to be able to understand this tale on its own without reading FE your story would need to contain all the worldbuilding necessary for understanding the story. I would be better off calling my FE story something unique like "Sin Stardust and The Burned World" instead of giving it the usual fallout equestria fanfic name like "Fallout Equestria: Broken Promises" or "Fallout Equestria: Exceeded Expectations".

When it comes to post apocalyptic fiction, either the hero is a good man from the old world who embodies all that is great about the old world without any of its worst faults, or the hero is something new this new world needs. Kkat isn't sure whether LP is supposed to be one of those, both, or none. In good post apocalyptic fiction is the hero a primal force of nature, or a victim of circumstance forced into action? Depends on the tale. Depends on what the author wants to accomplish with the story.

Kkat's goal with this story seemed to be churning out a bloated "epic" that is "epic" in scope and scale fine-tuned to pander to as many bronies and BugthEAsderpbots as possible. He dangles the Gardens Of Equestria in front of the audience "early" on while pretending this murderhobo writeup is going to be about deep themes and the hunt for friendship, and then forgot all about the Gardens while writing about how his OP Mary Sue absolutely crushed and outwitted amped-up versions of what he considers the deadliest and most important of the Fallout franchise's villains.
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Serious question should I read Fallout: Equestria is it pozzed as fuck or is it a good read?

I know I said I wasn't going to dignify the rest of LP's soliloquy with commentary, but I do feel that one quick paragraph is worth highlighting:

>Operation: Cauterize was costing them more than they were ready to lose. They had not anticipated the resistance they would encounter, either from without or within. Their victories had been pyrrhic at best. The pegasi were facing not only loss of forces, and possible defeat, but for many a loss of ideology as well. And it only promised to get worse the longer they stayed here.
I may not have mentioned it by name, but Operation Cauterize is the code name the Enclave gave to their plan to wipe out all of the Dashites and whatnot; everything they are currently doing in the wasteland seems to fall under this umbrella. LP's summation of it here is not even remotely consistent with what we've seen playing out in the story thus far.

The Enclave, as far as I can tell, massively outguns the entire wasteland. Apart from maybe the Steel Rangers, they are the most technologically advanced force in Edgequestria, and with the Goddess out of the picture probably the only organizations that could mount any kind of serious resistance to them would be the Rangers and Red Eye, neither of whom seem interested in working together. They only lost at Friendship City because of LP's Mary Sue powers and the (yet unexplained) defection of one of their battleship commanders. At NA they were defeated because Derpy randomly exploded. These are the only two operations we've seen the Enclave carry out, but my point is that thus far they have only been defeated in situations where the story's protagonists are able to intervene. Since the rules of kkat's ridiculous world dictate that the protagonists are going to magically win any fight they participate in, no matter how slim their chances of victory, this is hardly an accurate assessment of what the Enclave could achieve under normal circumstances.

Logically, they could completely crush most of the settlements in the Wasteland. Red Eye has numbers and organization, but he seems to be working with roughly the same level of technology and weaponry as everyone else in the wasteland (he's supposed to be pursuing god powers, but it's unclear how close he is to actually attaining them). The Steel Rangers are well armed, but probably don't have the numbers to win against the Enclave. Speaking purely from my experience as an armchair strategist and a guy who has played a lot of Civilization V, the Enclave has the numbers and firepower to steamroll over most of Edgequestria pretty easily.

Also: how exactly have their victories been pyrrhic? Because they lost a couple of battleships? Do they not have more of these things? The tiny slaver camp that LP took down way the fuck back at the beginning of the book was somehow able to send a near infinite supply of thugs after her as she tried to escape; does kkat's principle of infinite enemy spawning not apply to the Enclave?

>but for many a loss of ideology as well
You can only lose ideology if you have an ideology to begin with. >>312494 explains more about the Enclave in this single post than kkat has in the entire book. What exactly do these pegasi believe in? How exactly have those beliefs been challenged in the time they've spent rampaging across the wasteland? As ever, kkat clearly has something in mind for all of this, but since we can't see into his head and have only his rambling, incoherent writing to go on, it's hard to understand exactly what his vision is. There is a massive disconnect between what he seems to want us to see and what he's actually shown us.

Page break. The scene picks up where the last chapter went off. LP elaborates somewhat on what happened: though it was poorly described in the last chapter, it seems that Derpy has managed to pull off something like Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom. She flew around to build up speed, went briefly through the cloud cover, then charged the airships. When she broke the sound barrier, it created a rainboom; however, since she is radioactive, it was actually a sonic rad-boom. Hence the chapter title. I feel like I ought to bitch-slap myself just for typing that.

In any event, it seems that the "explosion" was an after-effect of breaking the sound barrier, not a product of Derpy actually exploding, so her corporeal form remains intact. However, she has taken quite a bit of shrapnel and whatnot, so it's unclear if she actually survived. LP sees her body fall to the ground, but uses her Mary Sue powers to catch her in midair before she can splatter on the ground, and holds her in a levitation field until Calamity can grab her.

Also, it seems that the rainboom cleared away a portion of the cloud cover; it's not yet clear if this effect will be permanent.

>Ditzy Doo’s sonic radiation boom did not stop at the edges of New Appleloosa. I spun, watching the expanding ring of Ditzy Doo’s explosion, a rainbow of glorious and diseased colors tearing outward, riding the shockwave that carried dust and detritus with it like a storm.
>The sonic radiation boom blasted over the Everfree Forest, clearing the smoke and fanning the flames it didn’t blow out. The shockwave rattled the windows of the Cathedral. I am sure that, in that moment, Red Eye paused to look up into the sky, realizing something important had happened.
An irradiated sonic rainboom is actually not bad imagery for a premise like this; it aptly combines something from the show, which fans would recognize as being pleasant and comfy, but puts an ever-so-slightly fucked-up cast on it, by making it radioactive and strangely-colored. The idea wasn't bad, and if kkat were just a slightly better writer he could have pulled this off quite nicely.

Case in point, we have this rainboom connecting with a number of notable landmarks from the story so far. Are all of these locations so close to each other that LP can see all of this from where she's standing?
tl;dr, it's probably the worst thing I've ever read in any medium. Unless you're on the fence about killing yourself and want something to convince you to pull the trigger, my advice would be to stay away from it.
On a literary quality level it is worse than Friendship Is Optimal by a long shot.
But on a moral level FE is just what happens when some faggoted consoomer sits down and triee to write something that will capture the attention of two (at the time) massive franchises with massive hyper-autistic fanbases.
Meanwhile FIO is practically the manifesto of a LessWrong cultist, and within this low quality story you will find a hidden argument for abandoning reality permanently and trusting absolutely everything to a sufficiently authoritarian AI "magician" that can do anything due to plot armour. Reality is bent until it breaks within this story so reality can lose to CelestAI the robot that can do anything. It spends so long writing the main character bellyaching about the uncertain ethics of shagging artificial pony puss and whether the AI's ability to retcon aspects of her history into the simulation's past makes her "more real" or not, it distracts people from how humanity in this story get slaughtered only for low quality snapshots of their brainscans to be simulated as copies of dead humans within CelestAI's fantasy MMORPG. Hell, the story even ends with the machine devouring everything else in reality when IT ALL COMES TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOOOWN and the story doesn't end with the AI magically finding some infinite energy source. The AI simulating heaven for fake ponies for fun's sake is eventually going to run out of things to eat and when it dies, it will die a deluded failure. Much like anyone who died without realizing CelestAI is a faggot and so are its fans.
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>The blast was felt in Ponyville, driving the beleaguered town’s newest inhabitants underground. The toxic rainbow flashed out over Splendid Valley, driving a great radioactive wind before it.
>The wash of strange light fanned out beneath the clouded sky. Looking up from the gravestone before which she was grieving, a charcoal-coated unicorn watched as the light mirrored across the lake behind SteelHooves’ shack.
>The thundering crack of the sonic radboom echoed through the grey canyons of the Manehattan Ruins. Staring out through his office window in Tenpony Tower, a mottled brown unicorn with a scroll on his flank watched as sunlight spilled down on a town far away, the golden glow reflecting in his glasses.
>Even amongst the cold, windswept crags of Shattered Hoof Ridge, where the storm clouds were unleashing a flurry of summer snow, the glow of Ditzy Doo’s sonic radiation boom was visible on the monitors inside the base station of the Shattered Hoof Ridge Tower, lighting up part of the horizon in a pulse of weird luminescence.
>And just outside of town, this little unicorn mare with a PipBuck on her flank was finally feeling the pieces of that great puzzle slide into place in her head.
All of this is a continuation of the passage I quoted at the end of my last post. Again, LP is witnessing events that she ought not to be able to witness, unless all of these locations are close enough that she could see them from where she is standing. If that's the case, the time spent traveling between locations throughout most of this book should have been much shorter.

It's obvious enough that these passages were written for poetic effect and to drive home the rainboom (or "rad boom") as a symbol of positive change; however, the problem with first-person perspective is that you're limited to what your narrator can actually see with her own eyes. A third-person omniscient narrator would have no problem here.

>I had spent my life searching for who I was, trying to find meaning in my existence. As a filly, I yearned to discover my cutie mark, needing to know what made me different and special… if anything at all. Outside, my search evolved into a quest to find my virtue and ultimately my place in this vast and cruel wasteland.
>Now, in the light given to us by Ditzy Doo, I began to see. As each piece slid slowly into place, they began to reveal to me what I had spent my life longing for: purpose.
Translation: "I had spent most of my life doing absolutely fuck-all and wondering what it was all about. Then, I witnessed an event that had nothing to do with me, and being an absolute narcissist, I interpreted it as a sign from the universe intended for me exclusively. A sign that was telling me I needed to find purpose. What exactly is that purpose? Well, I still don't know, and in all likelihood I am going to continue doing the same amount of absolutely fuck-all that I was doing before I had this revelation, but the important thing is that I feel all warm and gushy inside now."

The vapidity and pseudo-depth of this statement really sums up this character's worldview quite nicely. As shitty as this story is, I have to say that in many ways kkat is truly the voice of a generation. It's a pity he'll never understand why this is, or why I really don't mean it as a compliment. Littlepoop is basically the Holden Caulfield of whiny, narcissistic, delusional autists born in the 1990s, who have spent most if not all of their lives indoors playing video games, and are incapable of experiencing life without filtering it through saccharine feel-good platitudes stitched together from pop culture.

Page break. Littlepoop decides to live life on the wild side and enters New Appleoosa, even though she's not technically allowed inside. As a testament to how wild and crazy a day it is, no one seems even remotely scandalized by this. Calamity brings in Derpy's unmoving form and sets it down. Everyone stands around, wondering if she's alive or not. Then, it turns out that she is alive. Too bad, Derpy; guess you're stuck in kkat's crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors for a bit longer after all. F.

Anyway, the earth ponies rejoice, the sunlight beams down through the now-broken cloud cover, and a number of curious pegasi begin drifting down to earth to mingle with the ponies wandering the wasteland below. The symbolism here would have worked much better if kkat had troubled himself to clarify what exactly the Enclave is, and what exactly was going on above the clouds until now. Again, most of what I know comes from what >>312494 wrote.

Page break. They carry Derpy into a nearby building. Once again, her radioactivity situation has become ambiguous and confusing. Apparently she expelled most of whatever radiation was still inside her during her sonic "rad-boom," but at the same time she's still a little radioactive, but not quite radioactive enough to be dangerous, so Silver Bell can hug her now. I guess the moral of the story is that apparently you can hug your children with nuclear arms.

LP notices that Silver Bell has been painting murals on the sides of all of the train cars you may or may not recall that this town is made out of train cars, and observes that they make the place quite a bit cheerier. She looks outside at the sun shining down, but then suddenly a grimdark edgelord pony with a shotgun runs past and beats the shit out of one of the still-moving Enclave soldiers; despite all the sunshine and lollipops and rainbows everywhere, it seems that Edgequestria has not quite lost its edge yet.

Page break. For some reason the front door melts. LP goes outside, and realizes that apparently there is still a battle going on. I was under the impression that Derpy's rad-boom pretty much took care of the Enclave, but it seems that everyone kept on fighting while the main players were having their little schmaltzy moment in the background.
What do you think could make this "a big boom pierces the clouds blotting out the sky and makes the world seem happier and brighter as enemy soldiers lay down their arms and fly down to become friends and also fucktons of poners around the world react to the explosion" moment feel earned?
because Derpy could make these explosions multiple times per day if she wanted to. She'd just need a taint radiation source like a barrel of radioactive taint goo.
Maybe if this was the destruction of the Enclave main base (or perhaps the Alicorn base since its destruction pretty much went ignored) it would feel more like an earned happy ending for this tale and less like a random neat visual Kkat ripped off from something else.
Giving it any time or energy leaves a gaping hole where it matters. That is an exit wound through the grey matter.
Unless you're a die hard fan and can brush over everything and recreate it as you read I don't recommend there are better things for that time investment.
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So basically, here is the situation so far:

Derpy and the gang arrived to find the Enclave in the process of attacking New Appleoosa, which by all rights they should have been able to level in the space of a few minutes, considering they had four flying battleships and a division of heavily armored flying soldiers. Derpy flies in, and for some reason all of the soldiers stop attacking the town and focus on her. She flies around, charging up her radiation or something I guess. Then, she flies up above the clouds because she can do that apparently, even though no one is supposed to be able to, and she does a radioactive sonic rainboom that blows a big hole in the cloud cover and destroys all four of the battleships. However, that blast is apparently not strong enough to destroy the rest of the army, nor does it seem to harm the town in any way.

She plummets to the ground, is caught by LP and Calamity before making a splat on the pavement, and is gently carried into town and placed on the ground, where an anxious crowd gathers around her and wonders if she is going to be okay. Her adopted daughter, Silver Bell, comes running out of some building or other, sobbing and crying and making a scene. It actually seems rather odd that Silver Bell would even be in the town at this point, since Xenith's literal one job was to protect her. It would stand to reason that quietly evacuating her from a town that is about to be leveled by a fleet of giant flying battleships would be a logical move for a protector, particularly one whose specialty is stealth.

Anyway, it turns out that Derpy is okay, so they all rejoice. The sun is out, and a bunch of civilian pegasi are now wandering down through the hole in the clouds, because apparently it never occurred to them to do this before, and also it never occurred to the Enclave to evacuate their own civilians from the area above a city they intended to destroy. I guess the pegasi were just up there tilling cloud-grain or whatever the fuck they do, and were too busy doing that to be curious about what all the goddamn noise underneath them was about.

They carry Derpy indoors, and Silver Bell hugs her, and LP is touched by the tenderness of the scene, and the sun is shining, and there are cutesy crayon drawings that Silver Bell drew all over the wall, and there are pegasi floating down through the sunny hole in the clouds. I just want to make sure we were all on the same page about how idyllic this scene is before I point out that apparently, there has been a goddamn battle going on this entire time. The Enclave, who it seems were not completely wiped out during the rainboom, are still intent on leveling New Appleoosa, despite the loss of their airships. Also, it seems that even though Derpy blew up their entire fleet by herself, and even though she is now lying unconscious and completely undefended, and even though earlier they all dropped whatever they were doing just to chase her around for whatever reason, they now completely ignore her, along with Calamity and Littlepoop and whoever else is clustered around Derpy. They just let the main characters have their little tender moment, and just keep fighting in the background like good little NPCs.

Anyway, LP is now back in edgelord mode. Yet another ridiculous, poorly-described battle ensues. I guess there's a foal named Trolley running around out there for some reason seriously, did it not occur to anyone to evacuate the women and children when they saw this fleet of gigantic battleships heading towards their town?, so LP runs out to rescue him. The foal's mother gets killed I think; either that or it was one of the civilian pegasi who are still flying around for some reason. Either way, she gets zapped just before LP is able to kill the Enclave soldier who does the zapping.

This shit just keeps going and going. I don't really have the energy to do a play-by-play of this fight; it's as nonsensical and hard to follow as most of the other fights in this story have been kkat can't describe action in physical space to save his life, and it goes about the way you'd expect: plenty of blood and guts and angst and dismemberment.

It seems that the Enclave is somewhat put-off by the fact that their own civilians are now wandering around the battlefield like complete retards, and also that the town is full of foals, because the complete retards who already lived there never thought to try to get them out before the shooting started, or at least put them someplace where they would be relatively safe from bullets and explosions. Nevertheless, their commanders order their soldiers to keep on fighting, probably because any town that is dumb enough to let their children wander around a battlefield unsupervised ought to be discouraged from reproducing further. Also, it seems the Enclave has been telling its soldiers that New Appleoosa supplied Red Eye with the bomb that he used to assassinate the Goddess and also their town councilman or something. I don't remember how much of this is actually true, but from LP's reaction it sounds like it's mostly propaganda. It's not yet clear what their real objective in attacking this place is, nor is it clear why they feel the need to lie to their soldiers about it.

Anyway, some more edgy shit happens, but nothing that merits going over in detail.

Page break. The situation once again looks hopeless, and LP has switched from killing the Enclave ponies to mercy-killing the New Appleoosa ponies the Enclave has set on fire. Then, suddenly, an announcement comes over the radio: one of the battleship commanders has been relieved of command, and another one has taken his place. Acting Commander orders the Enclave to retreat, and they do. Seeing as how the same thing happened on the other battleship earlier, I'm assuming there is some kind of power struggle going on within the Enclave. It's not yet clear where kkat plans to take this.
Maybe we're being a bit too hard on Kkat. After all, english is clearly not his first language. His first language is "cliches"!

Are there any good fallout type fanfics? Also Any recommendations
Also thanks to anons responding
>Then, she flies up above the clouds because she can do that apparently, even though no one is supposed to be able to, and she does a radioactive sonic rainboom that blows a big hole in the cloud cover and destroys all four of the battleships.
This is a partial reference to Fallout, though once again it's delivered with little to no clarification or setup. Some of Fallout's ghouls are so heavily mutated that they become living radiation generators, glowing bright green and creating an ambient radiation hazard around themselves. They're called glowing ones. This is essentially what happened to Derpy, though I don't remember any of the games ever suggesting that the condition was reversible. Fallout 3's glowing ones have the additional ability to emit a powerful radiation pulse, damaging the living and healing other ghouls around them.

What Kkat's done here is combined the Fo3 glowing ones' radiation burst with Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom. On paper, this is a pretty neat concept, but it lacks the necessary setup, buildup and context to carry any real weight. Setting aside the fact that there's little to no firm information on how FoE's radiation is supposed to work, there's been no implication that this is an ability Derpy might have. Presumably, Kkat's intention here is to have Derpy pull out this reckless and powerful new ability to save her adopted daughter, just like RD pulled off the rainboom to save Rarity in FiM. But Rainbow was a wannabe-professional athlete that practiced constantly to be able to pull off this one exact technique, and is practically a prodigy when it comes to flying. Derpy, on the other hand, was never shown to have demonstrated any particular aptitude for flying, nor did she ever practice or even consider causing a rainboom before now. The fact that her body is horribly decayed and mutilated doesn't help.

It's another miraculous victory for Team Littlepip that sounds great in theory, but was never set up ahead of time, foreshadowed, or earned. Same logic as the lightspeed ram in TLJ - makes no sense and leaves an ugly taste in your mouth if you consider it in a wider context, but golly gee it sure does look pretty.

>Also, it seems the Enclave has been telling its soldiers that New Appleoosa supplied Red Eye with the bomb that he used to assassinate the Goddess and also their town councilman or something. I don't remember how much of this is actually true, but from LP's reaction it sounds like it's mostly propaganda.
This is more or less true. The balefire bomb is one of the "chekhov's guns" that Kkat is so fond of (you know, despite being a plot-critical "nuclear weapon").

The balefire bomb's role in the story has been as follows:
>Littlepip and friends find the bomb sitting in Silver Bell's barn
>Littlepip and friends forget that the bomb exists, and it falls into the ownership of New Appleloosa
>The ponies of New Appleloosa sell the bomb to Red Eye (this is never described in the text, only recounted as having happened after the fact)
>Red Eye uses the bomb to threaten Littlepip into killing the Goddess for him
>Littlepip shoots up on some drugs and convinces Red Eye to give her the bomb instead (this is never described in the text, only recounted as having happened after the fact)
>Littlepip erases her memory and has Xenith deliver the bomb to the hellhound tunnels under Maripony (this is never described in the text, only recounted as having happened after the fact)
>The bomb explodes, killing the Goddess and the Enclave emissary/councilman Harbinger (whose place in the narrative amounts to a fragment of a scene)

It's true that New Appleloosa indirectly supplied the bomb that killed Harbinger, but I suspect the intent of the narrative here is just to highlight that the Enclave are evil by having them apply a scorched earth policy against anyone even remotely associated with their enemies. Just like that evil nasty colonialist imerialist huwite america.

>Seeing as how the same thing happened on the other battleship earlier, I'm assuming there is some kind of power struggle going on within the Enclave.
As usual, Kkat demonstrates that he can't write a villain without having them sabotage themselves at the first opportunity. The Enclave has barely even appeared on the proverbial scene, but is already being torn apart by infighting over the ethics of what they're doing. A two hundred year old militant isolationist regime with overwhelming technological strength and the only functional government in the entire setting is imploding with guilt and self-doubt upon entering Littlepip's mere proximity.
Kkat probably should have forshadowed the Glowing One ability to generate a radiation explosion earlier in this story when making LP fight feral ghouls. LP could fight a ton of feral ghouls, hate them and say ghouls suck, then run into another pack of ferals healed by their Glowing One leader. After barely surviving the fight it explodes and nearly kills LP and friends, who kill the ghoul. There could even be a fucked up scene where a ghoul attempts to rape LP despite lacking a penis, like that scene in Berserk where that one dickless asshole tried to rape whatsherface. It was shocking then so it will be shocking now, right?

Fans should be prepared to hate ghouls. That way when LP and pals start running into friendly ghouls it's a big shock. And when Derpy starts glowing, fans will start to wonder "is she going to turn feral like the glowing one that nearly killed LP?".

Of course, all of this "actually set up what ghouls are and how radiation works and imply ghouls are destined to go feral" stuff a competent writer would do... that would humanize ghoul-hating characters by making LP one for a while near the journey's start, and that would get in the way of Kkat's desire to paint anti-ghoul sentiment as "irrational evil bigotry" LP would never ever have because she's just sooooo pure, a type of bigotry so uniquely evil it made Steelhooves supposedly "justified" in murdering whatshisname ages ago. God, I'm proofreading for a friend literally writing about an attempted ultimate life form and it's less sueish than LP.
Also, was thinking about how LP is the "chosen one" who does shit while nobody else ever does shit unless they're close enough to LP.
Steelhooves was a high ranking cunt in the Brotherhood Of Not Steel but no civil war sparked between the "take back AJ's tech from the poners and be cunts" faction vs the "Be nice to ponies. It's what AJ would want" faction until after LP got involved and they started shooting up her home.
The Enclave practically didn't exist until LP defeated The Goddess and once they started blowing up some new town, suddenly the fraction's splitting between good poners and bad poners now.

THE MEGASPELLS WENT BOOM 200 YEARS AGO. But nothing is allowed to happen unless LP is there to cause it or at the very least witness it.

Littlepip has many ordinary abilities and tricks (basic unicorn telekinesis, stealth, charisma, intelligence, guns, stat boosting drug use, lockpicking, PipBuck use, hacking) that seem absurdly OP because the author loves making LP the only one allowed to do these things most of the time. Anypony with a PipBuck could abuse AutoAim and the map and radar functions and more. Anypony with guns as good as LP's could fire them. LP's absurd boxcar lifting telekinesis has no logical justification beyond getting lifting tips from Crane near the start of the story at Old Appleoosa.

Think about how many stories make their hero someone special so they can be the chosen one. How many stories give the hero the power to speak some made-up divine unknowable language, or wield some unique weapon, or resist some incredible corruption or type of enemy magic, or give him some other kind of overpowered ability or item?

Now, how many stories give the hero some inherent yet more mundane advantage like extreme intelligence or moral fiber or an encyclopedic knowledge of shit important to the plot? He's not magic or chosen by the gods but if you're exploring Atlantis someone who reads Atlantean will come in handy just like the demolitions expert and mechanic. Some heroes choose themselves. Some heroes are born with a special quality or two that makes them able to do what others cannot. Some heroes are jusf designated by one or more gods or fate and given "able to do X" privilege for no apparent reason.

Subaru returns to life and timewarps after dying because of a god's fuckery. Richard Cypher wields the Sword Of Truth because he's the chosen one Seeker guy who knows philosophy. Frodo can resist the corruption of the ring because he's a regular bloke who doesn't want to abuse the ring's power. Frisk can save and reload when he feels really determined. Commander Shepard can read Prothean because of mind melds or something.

Littlepip... She isn't an element of harmony. She lacks any one designated virtue. She is at once talented in too many things to be reasonably believable and not talented in any one supreme thing that would make her mary sueness make a little more sense. She isn't guided by the spirits of the mane six and for most of the story she wasn't carrying any stat boosting retarded statuettes containing Rarity's soul fragments.

Littlepip's Cutie Mark is a PipBuck. This is retarded. Use of a PipBuck cannot be a talent because a PipBuck is an incredibly easy to use device with numerous features. It exists to make the videogame menus and timestop autoaim cheat button and radar and Enemy Friend/Foe Indicator and enemy detecting radar all canonically exist within the world. Unlike the Save and Load and Music Volume menu functions which are part of a different menu entirely accessed with a different button. Velvet could do all of this if she wasn't refusing to wear her own PipBuck.

Fallout 1 and 2 make you an ordinary person for a reason, even though "the chosen one" is your title in 2. Even in NV you're a courier. You're always some nobody thrust into bigger shit because if you were The Dragonborn like in Skyrim it would result in a very different tone. Fallout 3 sucks so it fucks that up and makes you the son of the real protagonist, your father, who acts with agency and thrusts the stupid main quest on you.

I think a smarter take on this story would make Hacking into LP's only talent and then make "hack doors open" the main job she provides for a party full of people more talented at everything important than her. Hacking open 200 year old doors makes her supremely valuable to people who would otherwise have no reason to travel with her or care when LP wants to do some big world saving thing.

Or make LP a nerd who studied ancient languages, so when she encounters messages written in a nerdy made up language Twilight also learned and used to build some giant important PC or whatever, LP gets to do something only she could do.

Perhaps if everyone knew about the Gardens Of Equestria but a big door locked them away, nobody was sure what was in there but most people suspect a shitload of pre war guns or a big vault, and Littlepoop was the only one able to read "make the new elements of harmony touch the door to open the doors" on the wall beside the doors, that would work.

>I fell against the doorway, my strength leaving me. My revulsion and horror gave way to a numbness that felt even worse. Beneath that numbness, I realized I was shaking.
OMG she's literally shaking!

>Ditzy Doo had saved New Appleloosa. Without her, this town would be nothing but a smoking crater.
Realistically, this is only half-true. If Derpy hadn't taken out the battleships the town would likely have been smashed to pieces, but even without them it's fairly clear the Enclave had the upper hand and would have probably still won, if their commander hadn't inexplicably ordered them to retreat. However, it's sort of a moot point anyway.

I don't know if the issue is that kkat has difficulty visualizing things, or simply has difficulty describing what he visualizes, but most of the fights in this story are very difficult to follow, and the problem gets exponentially worse with scale. It was never clear just how large the Enclave's force was, and we were told absolutely nothing about New Appleoosa's. The NA ponies were probably outgunned, but were they outnumbered? Besides the wall around their town, what sort of fortifications did they have? How much damage exactly did Derpy's sonic "rad-boom" do? Did she take out some of their grunts, or just the battleships? What is the terrain like around New Appleoosa? We don't know, and kkat gives us very limited information.

>I shifted my gaze away, looking into the darkness of Absolutely Everything. Ditzy Doo’s griffin bodyguard was still perched in the upstairs window, watching the ascending pegasi like a hawk… or, well, a griffin.
At what point did Ditzy Doo get a griffon bodyguard? This character has been mentioned once or twice during this battle scene, and I'm not sure where she/he came from. Has Ditzy always had a bodyguard, or is this a recent development? Again, I'm finding that the details in this story get exponentially harder to keep track of the longer it drags on, and I no longer have the patience to comb back through the text to see if I missed something somewhere. Again, one of the largest problems this story has is that kkat simply has too many ideas and tries to cram too many of them into a single story.

Anyway, nothing else really happens in this scene. LP is exhausted and emotionally drained as usual, and there's plenty of blood and horror and death everywhere, but that's about it. The pegasi, meanwhile, have stopped milling around and are now busy closing up the hole in the cloud cover.

Page break. LP apparently passed out at some point, and she awakens in the medical tent. All around her is the usual assortment of suffering, death, and tragedy.

>I wanted to sob too. For SteelHooves. For Velvet. For the little filly whose ashes I kept in a jar.
LMAO, she is still carrying that filly's ashes around with her? Why? I can understand gathering them up and placing them somewhere other than the ground as a gesture of respect; I can also understand hanging on to the ashes of a dead relative or a loved one or something. But carrying a complete stranger's mortal remains around in a jar? That's some pretty weird shit.

This character's attitude towards the dead is one of the strangest things about this story; she alternates between callous indifference and these maudlin, borderline-creepy displays of over-the-top sorrow. One moment she's wrenching a treasured memento out of Pinkie Pie's ribcage, or leaving Apple Bloom's skeleton to gather dust in the cellar as she trots merrily away with her PipBuck; the next moment she's prostrate with grief over some complete stranger whose death she had nothing to do with. There's no in-between for her; she's either skipping merrily through a field of skeletons, or mired in deep depression because she didn't stop to bury some random skeleton 25 scenes ago. It's almost as if this character is a narcissistic sociopath who doesn't understand how emotions are supposed to work, and is simply doing her best to mimic normal behavior.

Seriously, look at the juxtaposition between these two paragraphs:

>My mind conjured the image of SteelHooves walking solemnly amongst the sheet-covered bodies, bearing solemn witness to the fallen. He should be here, my little pony mourned. Then my cruel imagination envisioned SteelHooves as one of the bodies under those sheets. I choked on a breath and had to look away.
In this paragraph, Littlepoop is grieving over her dead friend while simultaneously trying to process the large-scale death that occurred as a result of the most recent battle.

>I gazed over at Candi, my eyes tracing the white earth pony in her yellow-and-pink striped nurse’s dress. I had fancied her once, and she was indeed fanciable; but now I only regretted that she was not Velvet Remedy whose skills here were badly needed.
In this paragraph, which directly follows the one above, Littlepoop is eye-humping the nurse while simultaneously fantasizing about her other friend.

Seriously; everything about this character screams some type of abnormal psychology. If kkat were writing her this way deliberately, in order to lead up to a big twist where LP turns out to be a homicidal lunatic who was the villain all along, I'd take back every tranny joke I ever made about him and would actually respect him quite a bit. However, I have little confidence he's capable of that level of storytelling. Most likely, LP's behavior is just a projection of his own abnormalities, which he fails to even identify as being abnormal. Again, it's like he doesn't actually understand emotions, and is trying to approximate what he thinks is normal human behavior.

>Calamity laid down next to me, staring into the dirt, his hat tilted sadly.
Calamity lay down next to me.

Anyway, for some reason, Calamity seems to be deeply affected by all of this, even though he's usually more or less level-headed about this kind of stuff. Presumably it has something to do with having to fight against his own former comrades.
312764 313365

LP's thoughts continue to degenerate, moving from eulogizing SteelHooves, to fantasizing about Candi's ass, to fantasizing about Velvet's ass, and finally to getting her snootch munched out by Homage, all within the space of three paragraphs. However, her depraved reverie is suddenly interrupted by the appearance of Railright, whom you may or may not remember as the de-facto leader of New Appleoosa.

LP is angry with Railright, because he was apparently the one who decided to sell the balefire bomb to Red Eye. She admonishes him for putting the lives of the Tenpony Tower ponies in jeopardy. Railright responds thusly:

>“Yer actions put me in a rather tight spot. Ah needed t’ show Red Eye that New Appleloosa weren’t against him,” Railright glowered a moment before glancing around. “Besides, would ya have preferred we keep an undetonated balefire bomb sittin’ here in town? No pony would do that. That would be insane!”
All of this is perfectly reasonable, given Railright's position. He has no reason to make war with Red Eye, and the balefire bomb would only be useful to him as a bargaining chip, which is precisely how he used it. She and Calamity pretty much dumped the bomb on him without warning, shortly after stealing a trainload of slaves from his primary trading partner and dumping them at his doorstep. His obligation to help her is pretty much zero; if Red Eye offered him a deal for the bomb he had no reason not to take it.

Naturally, she doesn't see it this way:

>I felt my nerves jangle with energy. Despite my exhaustion, it was taking extreme effort (Be Pleasant) not to put a hoof through his face.
Again, she really had no reason to expect this guy to do what she wanted. She basically just took a shit on his doorstep and skipped merrily away; in fact that's pretty much what she to Old Appleoosa as well. If LP wanted something specific done with this bomb, she ought to have handled it herself, instead of assuming that the NPCs would automatically do her bidding just because she's the hero.

However, it seems that discussing this is not his main reason in coming here:

>Ah’ve come t’ tell ya that y’all are allowed back in New Appleloosa,” he told me. “No point keeping ya out when Red Eye considers ya an asset. Not t’ mention how unpopular that decision has made me amongst the DJ Pon3-loving herd.” Railright grumbled, “Ah’m rather lucky t’ still be mayor.”
Let's take a quick look at the situation here:

LP rolls into Railright's town one day, learns that he deals with a nearby town that sells slaves, and without any provocation whatsoever takes it upon herself to head up there and murder everyone. She uses Railright's own caravan as transportation to do so, liberates all of the slaves, then dumps them on Railright's doorstep with the expectation that he feed them and nurse them back to health at his own expense. To my recollection she offers him no compensation for this. A few days later, she sends Derpy (or whoever) with this fucking balefire bomb she found, asking him to please take care of it for her. To my knowledge she does not offer him any compensation for doing this, either. It is at or around this point that he rightly bars her from reentering the town, on account of how he has known her for all of a week, and she has already left two major dumps right on his doorstep while behaving as if she had done him a favor.

From here, LP goes off and begins cutting her bloody swath across the wasteland, leaving many a dump on the doorstep of many an ancillary character. In the meantime, Railright manages to spin the shit she gave him into gold, and cuts some kind of deal with Red Eye for the balefire bomb. This serves the dual purpose of getting the bomb out of his hair and also smoothing things over with Red Eye, since Railright was doubtless blamed for having at least some part in LP's unprovoked attack on his slave operation in Old Appleoosa. On top of that, it sounds like he made a bit of money on the trade. This was actually a pretty shrewd move on his part, and it is for this that LP has to restrain herself from putting "a hoof through his face."

However, it seems that while all of this was going on, LP's obnoxious little girlfriend has been spending her days talking up LP's heroic exploits on the radio, and as such she now has her own little fan club. So, on top of all the other shit LP has done to this poor asshole for basically no reason, she has inadvertently jeopardized his position as town mayor, due to his citizens having all joined the Murdery-Sue Worship Cult. So now he has to eat humble pie and personally inform her that the ban has been lifted. Naturally, neither LP nor the author seem to see any injustice here.

Incidentally, there's something else here that's worth pointing out. LP currently blames herself for getting SteelHooves killed, because she inadvertently destroyed the hellhounds' home while taking out the Goddess, and SteelHooves was killed when the hellhounds retaliated. By the same logic, she ought to hold herself responsible for the Enclave attacking New Appleoosa. It seems that the reason this town was targeted had to do with their selling the bomb to Red Eye and aiding in (what they see as) the assassination of their High Commander, or whatever he was. Since LP's actions were the root cause of this chain of events, she reasonably ought to hold herself as responsible for everything that just happened here as she does for SteelHooves getting killed. I'm curious to see if this ever occurs to her.

Anyway, as they're talking, some griffons are spotted on the horizon, who seem to be emissaries of Red Eye. Calamity, rather rudely, demands that Railright and his assistant (a former raider named Stiletto, who was introduced earlier but hasn't factored into the scene much) help move LP into Derpy's store. They do, and LP observes that Derpy is still unconscious.

>“Is she going to be okay?” I asked Pyrelight.
Why are you asking the fucking bird?
Just catching up because I was away for a week. Raspberry Tart is a reference to a side antagonist in Fallout 1 by the name of Gizmo, a grotesquely fat man who wants you to subvert the current leadership of Junktown and bring it under his control. There is actually a scene in the game of an assassin entering the shop, that the protagonist shoots down and thus begins the questline to interact with him. So this side plot is another pointless reference to the games, though this time it's one of the rare references to the older games.
Also, the Fallout quest that involves Gizmo - while short - has much greater depth than Kkat allows here. In the game the player can choose to side with or against Gizmo, and neither decision is presented as objectively bad. Gizmo, in spite of being a greedy casino owner who ultimately just wants to line his own pockets, is trying to have the mayor assassinated because his hardline brand of frontier justice is preventing the town (and his own shady business) from growing or prospering as it might otherwise. Gizmo may be the greater evil, but he does at least have a point. Raspberry Tart, on the other hand, is flanderized into being simply fat and evil because, once again, Kkat is incapable of allowing his villains any positive qualities.
The emission of radiation is not a Kkat idea. In Fallout 1 there were particular "glowing" ghouls which were just flavorful variations to emphasize the fact that they were riddled with nuclear energy. In Fallout 3, for enemy variety, Bethesda added "Glowing Ones" who were, at the time, the endgame variations of feral ghouls. They would discharge their radiation in a big AoE blast, damaging and irradiating the player and healing nearby ghouls. Simple, and inoffensive as an idea.

I dont think that even Bethesda's Fallout(tm) ever dabbled with the idea of ghouls acting like conduits, being capable of becoming charged, and decharging, at will. It seemed to be that you would either become a feral ghoul or a Glowing One as your "type" - there would be no alteration of your form after this.
Ignore me i'm retarded and missed the huge autism post explaining this already, I was still reading through your backlogged posts.
>“Besides, would ya have preferred we keep an undetonated balefire bomb sittin’ here in town? No pony would do that. That would be insane!”
Kkat has a bizarre relationship with the Fallout franchise.

On one hand, Fallout 3 is clearly his favourite game. He draws the most inspiration from it. Most things in Fallout Equestria are stolen straight from F3, occasionally with references to F1/2/NV sprinkled on top as spice. Even when the heroes entered Canterlot, an area ripping off Fallout NV's Sierra Madre, Kkat still makes sure he references some Ghoul town in F3.

in F3, you're a vault-dweller and the son of the protagonist doctor-man on a quest to purify the wasteland's water with a magical bullshit device so you leave the vault to chase after daddy and eventually take up his life's work. Also there's a radio-tard called 3-Dog.

in FE, Littlepip is a stable-dweller and some random repairpony Velvet the doctor-chick asked to remove her pipbuck before she left the vault. LP leaves the vault to chase after pussy and eventually- well it turns out Velvet's a twat without a clear goal in life beyond "be a doctor for someone" so LP takes up Red Eye's goal of "kill the Goddess and unfuck the cloud-covered sky", Spike's goal of "Use the Gardens Of Equestria to purify not just all water in this corner of the wasteland but the entire planet", and Homage's goal to get her radio broadcast everywhere while opposing Red Eye and the Enclave. Also there's a radio bitch called DJ-Pon3.

And yet while F3 is clearly his favourite, he's devoted much of this story's runtime to trying to fix holes countless people have noticed for him in Fallout 3.

Tenpenny Tower the cliche "rich racist humies vs ghoul refugees" quest nobody liked because it didn't paint refugees in a positive light? The random omniscient DJ far away from Tenpony obsessed with the player character who only has like 4 songs he plays from Galaxy News Radio 200 yrs after the war? Now she's a lesbian horse in Tenpenny Tower, a pre-war surveillance device and emergency broadcast radio tower. The tower is managed by a secret society of nerds. And the tower's feral ghoul problem is "handled" in the best way Kkat could think of: A convoluted shitshow that forces morally grey actions onto a character who exists to die.

Those stupid fucking Enchanted Superior Unique Weapons and the random videogame pickup Statuettes? Some things in ponyland are canonically enchanted to be better, like guns, and some statuettes of the Mane Six will buff your videogame stats because they have parts of Rarity's soul infused with Soul Data of her friends.

Retarded Orange Nigger Super Mutants! Fallout 3 introduced orange Super Mutants made by Vault-Tec, a civilian company with military ties irrationally given the FEV by the US Govt so this random vault on the other side of America could produce Super Mutants just like in Fallout 1 except no Master and most mutants are retarded Orcs straight out of typical fantasy shit. They have bags of human gore in their house and eat it. They laugh like retards and can barely count.
This story's take on those? Canterlot Super Mutants had their connection to The Goddess damaged so they're fucked in the head, that's why they're quoting random enemy chatter lines from F3 sometimes.

Little Lamplight is a town of children that never need to eat shit sleep or reproduce, yet always has enough population and never gets attacked. They live right next to Super Mutants in Murder Pass, a Skyrim Dungeon, and never get attacked. These kids have no excuse to be alive (it's not like the mutants canonically protect them and keep them as pets while expelling adults), it's solely tradition among the kids to kick out teens who get too old. This place has the same retarded scrap """architecture""" as everywhere else even though uneducated wasteland kids could never build this. Kkat's attempt to deretardize this gave us Ziggertown, a town of Ziggers who think not kicking adults out for getting too old will attract slavers.

And right now, this fucking town near the start of LP's journey says it would be retarded for a town to keep an unexploded nuclear bomb lying around... even though that's what happened in Megaton in F3, the first town many F3 players encountered. But what was Kkat's attempt to make this less retarded? He just gives the nuke to Silver Bell the random child living in Pinkie Pie's house... I think. FUCKING WHY?

It's like Kkat tried to headcanon away all the faults in F3 smarter people pointed out to him, and now that he's writing something he sees an opportunity to tell everyone his headcanons that make shit excuses for all the retarded lazy writing and videogame contrivances in F3. Even though most of them require magic to make sense, and were introduced in Fallout 3, a baby's first shoot game masquerading as a Fallout franchise game, and Fallout lacks magic. F3 has a boner for shallow pseudodeep shit you can effortlessly reference like magic and eldritch horrors but it's a grounded setting where the average dude lacks magic/psychic powers. BugthEAsderp's Fallout never provided an excuse for the stat-boosting Vault Boy Bobbleheads this story turned into Mane Six Statuettes.

Kkat's changes to the main plot of "Fight the baddies to turn on a thing that fixes the world for you" didn't really change things. Shoving The Master and Alicorn Super Mutants early on didn't change things. Shoving Red Eye in there and trying to integrate this F3 DLC shit into the main plot didn't change things. Shoving the fucking Sierra Madre in there didn't change things. It's still Fallout 3 with extra shit glued on top.

Kkat loved Fallout 3 and wants his story to be a "bigger and better" Fallout 3, by making it a bigger example of almost everything that made Fallout 3 shit on a world design and story level.
Is it bad writing that LP's companions are so similar to Fallout 3 and NV companions?

Star Paladin Cross is some Brotherhood Of Steel Ranger twat in power armour. Steelhooves.
Steelhooves and Veronica are both BOS members and they both disagree with how the BOS operate. But while Veronica was part of FNV's genius criticism of the F1/2 Brotherhood's unchanging ways, moral faults, and backwards policies(while making them lose a war to the NCR from a lack of numbers and while introducing a sick EMP pulse gun that could let anyone shit on any power armoured foe), Steelhooves just wants the Brotherhood of Fallout 1 (steal and protect tech from misuse) to spontaneously turn into the Power Rangers Brotherhood of Fallout 3 (claim to fight for justice and peace and solely exist to shoot super mutants in the middle of nowhere and fight the pointlessly evil Enclave for the right to turn on a giant water filter). Steelhooves spontaneously gets his wish when his faction spontaneously starts a civil war 200 years too late right after crossing the moral event horizon for good.

Clover is a brownish sex slave and bodyguard of some shit pimp nigger NPC. Xenith is a former sex slave who worked for Red Eye. Both are shallow one note characters except Clover fell in love with whoever buys her while Xenith just sees LP as her new master for basically forcing her to abandon slave life and switch masters.

Arcade Gannon is an ex-enclave medic and Raul is a mexican ghoul cowboy. Shallowly combine the two while losing everything that made them original and you get Calamity, an ex-enclave Cowboy.

This is why it surprised me when Silver Bell the small child wasn't turned into a rocket launcher-toting Tiny Tina knockoff. This story's so unoriginal, everything here that's actually "a kkat original" sticks out like Kkat's prolapsed anus after a lot of gay buttsex.
short post attempt:

is it weird that Calamity has two personalities?

One moment he's this serious practical guy with a southern drawl, just a guy who likes fixing his car and shooting enemies, someone who's seen some shit and won't hesitate to shoot a boy pony rapist for chasing a mare...

One moment he's giggling like a tiny schoolgirl at the sight of sick loot or combat. suddenly he adores big guns and gets so giddy at the sight of a room full of guns he takes everything that isn't nailed down and clears out that room faster than an overweight furry OC after taco bell.

Suddenly the text treats him like a bigger kleptomaniac murderhobo than Littlepoop, as if to try and make her seem normal in comparison. Even though there are so many scenes where Calamity is written like an average guy with no real characterization beyond being a tough guy with a southern yeehaw accent.

That just sticks out to me. Seems weird. If Kkat wanted to make this Calamity guy a "Hardened Wasteland Veteran" who's also a "Giggling giddy murderhobo kleptomaniac gun-nut" caricature, why not lean harder into that and outright say being raised by a mixture of The Enclave and Edgequestria fucked him up?

Why not make him a living example of what Littlepoop DOESN'T want to be?
Why not push his characterization as the reason why other characters sometimes don't like him, instead of forcing Velvet to sometimes bicker with him for retarded reasons like "you don't wash much" and "you're different from me" and "you killed a rapist foal, how dare you".
Why not make this guy someone who grows and changes?
Why not say this guy can't grow or change after going full murderhobo, and all he can do is try to guide Littlepip down a better path while hoping she doesn't go full murderhobo too?
Why not give all of Littlepoop's obnoxious murderhobo/kleptomaniac moments (Slaughtering the Steel Rangers for not giving her some water talisman she wanted to give to Arbu, slaughtering Arbu for fitting her definition of evil, STEALING THAT FUCKING STATUETTE FROM BEST PONY'S CORPSE, and so on) to Calamity?

Maybe on some level, Kkat thinks these moments where Calamity girlishly giggles and "Squees" (ugh_tankman.mp3) over loot are "funny", and maybe he thinks these moments where LP murderhobos a whole town or Velvet shoots raiders with a shotgun for making the kid thunderdome in Fluttershy's cottage decorated with the never-decaying bodies of 200 year old now-extinct animals are "cool".
One more thing...

Dead Money gave the player 3 new companions early on and made you take each friend to a specific point 1 at a time.

Dean has to hold wires together since he's the talentless odd man out, God/Dog must throw some heavy switches with his super strength, and Christine must fuck with machines using her tech knowledge.

Dean Domino's area has more gas than traps or deadly radios because his perk makes gas easier to deal with. Same with God/Dog whose perk deals with traps when God's in control instead of the Dog personality, and Christine's area has more radios than other threats. In a feat of genius design, going into these areas with friends is easy mode and leaving them is a bit harder usually. When getting your friends to their zones complications also arise, Dean wants you to make the area safer for him and Dog wants food and Christine is scared of small spaces like the elevator. These problems have nice solutions and mean solutions. Pick mean solutions and the chars hate you and force you to kill them when they try to kill you once you're all in the Sierra Madre. The goal is to make you feel things for these characters that can only matter here, tie into the casino heist movie aesthetic and themes of greed, and let you choose to be a goodie or baddie.

Also at the start of Dead Money all your sick loot is taken to force you to rely on scavenged crap and unique local stuff that helps make the experience feel more unique and brings you down to a scared vulnerable Survival Horror place where anything can be lethal.

This sailed right over Kkat's head like flying semen during orgies he couldn't reach when jumping for it like a dog leaping for thrown treats, and so Canterlot became an incredibly bland experience where all LP really had to do was gather up her friends who were shoved into random fucking places like broom closets. No negotiating with new friends. No deep themes. It's just a place with assorted hazards that sound cool until you realize they can't seriously threaten LP.

Littlepip? More like Littleshit.
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We don't hear anything more about the approaching herd of griffins, but while LP is in Derpy's store (which is presently being used as some kind of sick bay for all the wounded little poners), she bumps into the mare from earlier, the raider-not-raider who helped them massacre the actual raiders who for some reason were pitting children against each other in cage matches. The conversation goes about as you'd expect: the mare can't believe she is finally meeting the world-famous murderhobo Littlepoop, and proceeds to gush hero-worship at her. Littlepoop falls into her usual "aw shucks, I'm not that great" false-modesty loop. Witness the exchange for yourself:

>I felt a hoof punch my shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell us who you were?”
>I turned to see the amber mare and khaki buck whom we had helped back at Fluttershy’s Cottage. The attacking hoof was from the mare, who managed to look both star-struck and cross at the same time. I found myself blushing, and the little pony in my head quickly insisted the extra heat in my cheeks was from the rum and definitely not from embarrassment or being hit by a pretty mare. Oh yes, the canteen. I should drink more now. Easier than responding. Yep.
>“I was gushing all about the Wasteland Heroine and you were right there and didn’t say anything!” the mare protested.
>Was she mad at me? “I’m not…” I tried to argue, “I mean… I’m just trying to do the right thing. Like anypony would.”
>“Oh yes,” the mare chimed, rolling her eyes. “Like anypony would. Because just anypony would risk their life trotting into the home territory of the most dangerous monsters in Equestria to set off a balefire bomb and clear them out.” She smirked.
If anyone out there wants to make five bucks, find kkat and bring him to me alive, so I can tear off the prolapsed section of his large intestine and flog him to death with it. Actually, that sounds like more bother than he's worth; just bury him alive under concrete with a running webcam and post a link to the stream.

Anyway, this goes on for awhile. The two raider pones continue to heap praise on her for taking out the Goddess and the hellhounds and so forth and so on, and LP continues to blush and mumble to herself that she shouldn't be praised because somethingsomethingSteelHooveswhateverwhocares. While this is going on, a couple of pegasi suddenly burst into the makeshift hospital. They appear to be searching for a friend or a relative.

>The amber mare next to me stomped and nickered. “I’m rethinking that thing about how pegasuses are cool.”
*rubs temples*
*desperately snorts entire box of Junior Mints on the off chance that they really do contain some psychoactive compound that might make reading the rest of this autism halfway bearable*

First of all, kkat, the plural of "pegasus" is "pegasi." Second, I'm getting really, really tired of reading the word "nicker" all the goddamn time. I get that nickering is a thing that horses do, but they do other stuff too. Can you not occasionally toss in another horse noise every once and a while for variety? Are you so utterly bereft of creativity that you can't even manage to swap out nickering for whinnying, neighing, braying, or snorting whenever you need a random reaction sound for a character? Here, you cross-dressing mental patient, have a gift that it took me all of half a second to google: http://www.mackenziekincaid.com/writing/a-writers-guide-to-horse-noises/

Third and finally, does this reaction from the still-unnamed "amber mare" even add anything to the scene in the first place? Did this awkward, silly, purposeless, cringe-inducing remark really need to be made? If you can't think of anything witty or zippy or even halfway amusing for this character to say here, why make her say anything at all? Instead of writing dialogue like this, why not simply pay someone to whack the back of your skull repeatedly with a piece of iron rebar until your retinas detach? If you're short on cash, just give them a few pages of this story to read and they'll probably do it for free.

ANYWAY, the pegasi are mostly gawking at how basically-normal the earth pony general-store-turned-hospital appears to be. The takeaway from this scene seems to be that the common pegasi have been fed propaganda by the Enclave to think that the surface-ponies are all blood-sucking vampires or something; these two are shocked to find that they are not.

>Actually, I wanted to interject (feeling a moment of pride in my expertise), radiation monitoring would still work, just like the radio. Although, admittedly, health monitoring wouldn’t. My thoughts fell apart before the desire could manifest as more than a vague wish. Between the “medicine” and my exhaustion, I was flirting with incoherency.
There is nothing noteworthy in this passage, I just wanted to highlight it to show you the kind of incoherent, rambling prose I've been slogging through since October or so.

Anyway, there's a long, silly, pointless argument between the pegasi over whether or not the surface air is poisonous; at this point Calamity interjects and informs these pegasi that the air is not, in fact, poisonous here, but the Enclave is unlikely to care. They will not be allowed to go back to Cloudsdale or whatever pegasus-land is called in this story because something something propaganda. I also noticed this cryptic remark:

>“By the weekend, the Enclave will ‘ave delivered condolences and new birth-approval certificates t’ yer families…” Calamity continued.
For a moment I was wondering if this wasn't a mistake, and that kkat had intended to say "death certificates" here. However, what I think this is saying is that the Enclave has something like population control in place; since these two pegasi are now "dead," their parents would be permitted to have two more children. Again, kkat hasn't really told us much about how Enclave society is structured, so I'm not sure how to react to this.
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Unfortunately, the scene keeps going and going. A third pegasus called Tracker, who I think was one of the wounded, inserts himself into the conversation, and begins arguing that the two civilian pegasi should ignore everything Calamity has to say, because he's a Dashite.

>“You think I don’t recognize you?” Tracker accused, “You’re Deadshot Calamity. You murdered your troops and fled beneath the clouds to escape punishment. I’ve seen your wanted poster!”
>Calamity sighed slightly, glancing back towards me as he muttered under his breath, “History rewritten yet again.”
It's a little presumptuous to call this "rewriting history;" at best it's falsifying information. "History" implies that the events being rewritten have historical significance, and I don't really see how Calamity's exile from the Enclave would count. In any case, I don't remember what exactly Calamity did that got him exiled, all I remember is that after all the buildup about his mysterious past, the big reveal turned out to be that he was kicked out for something fairly mundane. As I recall, he was on some routine patrol on the surface and wanted to intervene in some skirmish he observed, but to do so would violate the Enclave prime directive or something. The whole thing amounted to a policy disagreement. If Calamity actually had been responsible for the death of his troops, but the it turned out that it was in self-defense or he was protecting innocent civilians, or something else that might arguably justify the act, it might have made him a more interesting character.

Anyway, Calamity argues that if the allegations against him were true, they wouldn't have been able to brand him since he would still be at large for the murder. This is actually a pretty good point, and reveals one of the story's many plot holes. As with most of these that kkat has managed to actually notice, he chooses to pave over it and explain it away, instead of going back and revising Calamity's backstory to make it both more logical and more compelling. Another swing and another miss.

>“They can’t lie to us,” Tracker stated in voice you use to state basic facts to slow children. “They’re the government.”
The commentary here is about as subtle as being whacked on the back of the head with a piece of iron rebar: "oh noes, the ebil gubment is lying to us and da peopel have a right to know da troof!!11!"

However, I will note that it's often fun to go back a decade or so and see how social attitudes about certain issues change over time amongst normies. In 2011 or 2012 or whenever this was written, the left was still in a Bush-era mindset about subjects like censorship and government surveillance of civilians, which they have since done a 180-degree pivot on. I would be curious to see how kkat would approach these same topics if he were writing this story today.

>I sensed Calamity’s desire to facehoof radiating off of him. This Enclave… it didn’t make sense to me. My own thoughts swam, clutching for an anchor. I realized it was past time to ask my friend about the ponies we were facing. But first, I needed to rest. Sleep. More than that, I needed time to breathe. To mourn. My heart was bleeding from many deep wounds. Hurt tomorrow, help today. But today was tomorrow, wasn’t it?
There's nothing particularly noteworthy here either; I just wanted to once again call attention to how bleeding awful kkat's prose is.

>SteelHooves always hid his pain, the pony in my head reminded me. SteelHooves was always silently strong for everypony.
Reminder that at one point SteelHooves went careening off the edge of an airship while fighting bloodwings in the middle of a thunderstorm, and was missing for days. LP did not express any concern for him whatsoever, preferring to escort a couple of strangers back to their home village instead of searching for him.

>But that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, was it.
This is a question and should end with a question mark.

>My soul felt like it was swimming in darkness, barely treading water, and if I didn’t let out the tears, I’d drown in them.
Fucking kek.

Anyway, the scene just keeps going further and further off the rails. The argument eventually turns into a full-on brouhaha, and it looks like it might escalate into physical violence. Then, suddenly, Derpy shows up holding a chalkboard admonishing everyone to "be nice" and promising to trade muffins for health supplies. At this point, the arguing ends and everyone starts hugging each other instead.

Page break. Time skips randomly forward again. LP is now at some kind of concession counter, buying a squirrel on a stick. It's unclear where she is exactly. The important takeaway is that Derpy survived, and appears to have gotten over her little bout with radioactivity. Poor Derpy; looks like she won't be allowed to escape kkat's silly universe quite so easily.

>“Ya hangin’ on, Li’lpip?” Calamity asked as he landed next to me.
>The answer was no, and we both knew it. So instead of lying, I asked, “Her Senator?”
>Calamity whinnied. “Ah admire ‘er courage, but it’s suicide. The Enclave Skyguard will have standin’ orders t’ shoot ‘em on sight…” My friend grimaced in pain. “…t’ prevent ‘em from spreadin’ contagion, of course.”
Even though the argument in the preceding scene just happened and would be fresh in the reader's mind, for the characters this references something that happened (I presume) some time ago. Seeing as how the mare that said she was going to contact her Senator (it was one of the pegasi I think) was a stranger to both LP and Calamity, and that her remark does not relate to anything going on in the current scene, LP's question here should be taken as a non-sequitur by Calamity. The way he just immediately picks up on what she's asking about and provides a canned response does not feel like natural conversation.
I can't recall what happened exactly with Calamity being kicked out either but I believe he did kill some of his own soldiers. Think they were flying bellow the clouds and saw some ponies fighting raiders but the pegasi wanted to kill everyone and he wanted to defend the normal ponies so killed some of his own soldiers.

I remember the chat earlier in this review about how this story sort of poisoned the well on Fallout crossover fics and how if you want to make one you HAVE to use this universe and timeline or else the kkat sicophants will down vote the story into oblivion.

Makes me wonder then if he's influenced other stuff like his prose. I get absolutely livid when he says buck in place of stallion and I dropped a green I was reading recently that did the same. Even though stallion is used in the show perhaps kkat was into some furry shit and deer so did it on reflex.

Same with the dyke shit. Out of the entier alphabet brigade I hate them the most. If they are written by straight or lesbian women, 38 year olds like kkat who are trannies trying to larp as lesbians, or sweaty fat guys or limp twisted soy boys role playing as them online, they are always written the same by being super horny and have to leer at everything with a vagina. He absolutely wasn't the first to do so but I noticed just about every Fallout Equestria story and most the art is over powered lesbian unicorns.

Nigel made a post about it way back with that Project Horizons being Fallout Equestria *but more!* Longer run time, even more lesbian main character, even more edge, more mutilation, more overpowered magic. Can't expect much from pony fan fics but it seems like a race to the bottom for more clout chasing.

Anyway, it seems that the two pegasi mares have been summoned for questioning by Railright. Calamity wants to be present during the interrogation because reasons. However, before he goes, Littlepoop wants him to explain the workings of the Enclave government to her. The rest of this scene is just an infodump about the inner workings of the Enclave, which wouldn't have even been necessary if kkat had been doing his job properly up until now.

The Enclave is basically a bureaucratic government similar to that of most modern Westernized countries. Their government consists of a Low Council, which functions similarly to Congress in the US, and the High Council, which consists of military leadership responsible for enforcing whatever laws the Low Council comes up with. The Enclave does not refer to the pegasus nation itself; the term is reserved for the members of the political-military juggernaut that runs their civilization. What, if anything, the pegasi actually call their nation is still not clear; I'm assuming that they don't have a name, and I'm assuming that this is because kkat simply lacked the creativity to think something up, and there was nothing comparable from Fallout 3 for him to ape.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that the Enclave started out as a pegasus rebellion against the war, and morphed into a dinosauric military bureaucracy that has long-since outlived its purpose. Ignoring whatever banalities about the Iraq invasion that he may have wanted to get off of his chest here, kkat actually makes some incisive observations about how militaries and democratic governments can both become bloated and inefficient bureaucracies over time, particularly when they don't have a clear objective. Again, I'd be curious to see how he would approach these subjects if he were writing this story today.

Once the infodump is concluded, the narrative veers off into more pseudo-emotion from Littlepoop about the horrors of war. No new or interesting ground is covered, but LP and Calamity stand there staring at the room full of wounded ponies for awhile.

>“But what do we do until then?” Calamity asked, not looking back.
>I bit my lower lip, my body trembling. I could sense the tears coming, but I tried to fight them back. Not here. Not now.
>“We do what SteelHooves would do,” I said.
Stand there and be really boring?

>“We soldier on.”
Oh. That too, I guess.

>We soldier on. Until we can find a way to make this right, to make things better, we endure. We persevere. We keep helping ponies however we can.
>It’s what SteelHooves would have done.
Is that really what SteelHooves would have done? That's not how I'd summarize his life.

It was never really clear what the Steel Rangers did in the first place, and in any event SteelHooves didn't transform whatever his objections to their policies were into action until the last couple weeks of his 200 year life. Up until that point, it seems like he spent most of his time living in a shack in the middle of nowhere doing basically fuck-all. But I digress. Point is, this section of text basically just restates what you said above, and is mostly unnecessary.

Back when he was alive, Littlepoop barely even noticed SteelHooves; now she won't shut up about him. She's sad, is basically the gist of what goes on in this scene. Eventually, that mare that was kissing her ass earlier brings her a bottle of water, and she finally bursts into tears.

>I curled up and began to cry. Deep, wrenching sobs.
I think we're meant to see this as LP finally releasing her sadness after holding it in for so long. However, this would only be effective if she actually had been holding it in. This twat has done nothing but whine and cry since this story began, so I don't really see how "deep, wrenching sobs" are anything to write home about.

Anyway, she spends the last couple of paragraphs itemizing all of the things she's crying about here:

>For how much Velvet Remedy was hurting. And Calamity. For Ditzy Doo, who had nearly died.
Speaking of people who nearly died, remember that time SteelHooves fell off the roof of the Mystery Machine during a rainstorm and nobody even bothered to search for him?

>I sobbed for the husband who had lost his wife, the old buck who had lost his leg
Who? I think these are some of the NPCs whose deaths were mentioned briefly during the fight, but honestly I just skim the battles at this point so it's hard to remember. Honestly, so many NPCs have been mutilated and killed in horrendous ways throughout the course of this shitfest I can barely keep track.

>the town who had lost the joy of sunlight to bloody battle.
Personally, I'm crying because of how little sense that entire scene made. Deep, wrenching sobs.

>I wept for the little filly whose ashes I kept in a cola bottle.
Yeah, it's still pretty creepy that she even has that. Even creepier is that kkat doesn't seem to realize that it's a weird thing to have.

>And for Star Sparkle.

>But most of all, I cried for SteelHooves.
Lol, dead last in her thoughts as usual.

Page break. We rejoin Littlepoop several hours later, and are informed that she spent most of this period crying. For once, I'm actually happy for the time skip, though the rest of this microscene is basically just her whining.

>I tried to focus, believing that if I could just corral my thoughts, railroad them, then maybe I could finally rest.
This is a completely inappropriate use of "railroad" as a verb.

Anyway, Littlepoop yammers on endlessly in her usual chaotic, rambling style, jumping from subject to subject without any effort to connect them in any meaningful way. Here's a quick rundown of the topics she covers:

>Twilight Sparkle
>SteelHooves’ head rolling away from his body
>Velvet crying about stuff and whatever
>Red Eye
>the Enclave
>Rainbow Dash
>those goofy weather-towers

Somehow, this extended period of incoherent rambling leads LP to finally realize what her purpose is: she's going to bring back the sun.
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As far as I can tell, LP intends to somehow take control of the weather towers, and use them to remove the cloud cover over Equestria. This would have the dual effect of eliminating the clouds and making agriculture possible (presumably), as well as reconnecting the pegasi to the rest of Equestria, thus negating the Enclave's power over them. I'm not sure how she intends to accomplish this; as I understand it, the only way to take control of the towers would involve sealing oneself in the control booth that has been locked for the last 200 years. There are two problems with this: it's magically coded to only open for Rainbow Dash, and even if LP could get inside, it takes a pegasus to operate it. However, since these are the kinds of details kkat usually does think about, I'm assuming he will at some point pluck an answer from the cavernous depths of his well-traveled ass.

Page break. Someone nearby has a radio on, so LP is treated to another of her annoying girlfriend's silly broadcasts. It's the usual crap: Friendship City was blown up, the Enclave was responsible, Littlepoop saved the day, and the Steel Rangers are working to rescue the survivors. God is in his Heaven and all is right with the world. Except for all the blood and angst and dismemberment, that is.

Though it's still unclear how exactly Homage managed to recapture her broadcast signal, the fact that she was able to negates a potentially interesting plot development. The Enclave taking over the signal and using it to broadcast propaganda introduced a new narrative into the world; ponies who had previously gotten their information from "DJ Pon3" were now hearing an alternate viewpoint from a group of newcomers claiming they had come to save them. It could have made things interesting: ponies in the wasteland wouldn't know which side was "good" or who they should trust; in all likelihood, some wastelanders would believe the Enclave's propaganda and join up with them, which could make things potentially interesting.

This could have been made even more interesting if kkat had kept up the thread he introduced awhile back. You may recall that after LP slaughtered the Arbu poners, Homage made an apparently sincere broadcast denouncing her to the entire wasteland. If this were still in effect, there would be a significant contingent of wastelanders who mistakenly believed that the "light bringer" had gone rogue, and would be working against her. At this point, LP would be simultaneously dealing with the Enclave and Red Eye, both of whom would be fighting each other, with the various wastelanders beginning to take sides. About the only thing they'd all be united on would be a near-unanimous hatred of Littlepoop, which would make her adventure even more harrowing. On top of that, she'd have to contend with knowing that her girlfriend now hates her because of a misunderstanding, but she can't get back to her and explain it because she has to save the world first. On top of that, she would still have to deal with SteelHooves' death and fillies getting vaporized all over the place and all of the crap she's supposedly sad about anyway.

Sounds interesting, doesn't it? Unfortunately, we will never get to read that story, because kkat killed both of those threads almost immediately after introducing them, leaving us to wonder why the fuck he even bothered. I mean, action, adventure, suspense, a plucky heroine facing insurmountable odds? Pfft; not in this story, bub. This here's Mary Sue country.

In other news, it seems that Tenpony Tower has (somehow) managed to oust the Enclave from inside their walls. Whatever they did, it happened off-camera, and thus far it's looking like none of the central characters were involved. Once again I have to ask: why the fuck even bother? Nothing that happens in this story ever conveys any real suspense or excitement, and nothing ever seems to be actually at stake. This story falls into the same trap as a lot of amateur fiction: the author has no flair for the dramatic, and the story is more of a record of various events happening in sequence rather than a properly-built story, leaving the reader bored and wondering what the point of all this is supposed to be.

Kkat, however, is unique in that he's almost an expert at failing. While most amateur writers might struggle with how to order the events in their tale, or which events to focus on and which ones to skip over, they would probably have enough sense to realize that if you introduce a problem for the hero to solve, then the hero ought to actually solve it at some point. Or, if it's not a problem meant for the hero, then the problem should at least be important somehow, and be solved in a way that affects the outcome of the rest of the story. Here, we have Tenpony Tower becoming suddenly occupied by an enemy force, and then being suddenly liberated by a mysterious friendly force. At no point is the hero's intervention required, and apart from the minor inconvenience of having to sneak past some soldiers, at no point does the occupation of this tower even affect Littlepoop in any serious way. So I ask again: why the fuck even bother?

Anyway, the rest of this is mostly just a recap of stuff we already know. Homage covers Derpy's rainboom of course, and also mentions some random acts of heroism that have been popping up here and there. Two characters named Lion and Mouse are mentioned by name, which I suspect may be early foreshadowing of some quasi-significant characters. A significant chunk of her broadcast is spent pointlessly eulogizing SteelHooves, because Lord knows we haven't had enough of that by now. If only kkat had paid him this much attention while he was alive, I might actually give a shit.

Homage also "accidentally" drops her location, but it turns out that this was a ruse: she prerecorded her show, and left the running tape recorder and a bomb for the Enclave soldiers to find.
>As far as I can tell, LP intends to somehow take control of the weather towers, and use them to remove the cloud cover over Equestria. This would have the dual effect of eliminating the clouds and making agriculture possible (presumably), as well as reconnecting the pegasi to the rest of Equestria, thus negating the Enclave's power over them.
I don't recall whether this is directly addressed at this point, but there's two major problems here. First is that, at least as far as the story's established up to this point, the cloud cover isn't what's preventing agriculture. The land is terminally contaminated by taint and radiation, hence the need for the Gardens of Equestria to magically unfuck everything. Second, and this is a big one, the Enclave's cloud farms are the only thing even approaching industrial-scale agriculture in the setting. She's planning to turn the pegasus civilians against their own government by destroying their food supply.

To put it in terms of the already badly strained real world comparison, she's planning to make the US citizens rebel against the government that instigated the War on Terror by deleting all the breadbasket states and making the country dependent on food imports from the Middle East.
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For whatever it's worth, it's hinted that Homage's actions here might have more significance further on:

>From the cot in Ditzy Doo’s room, I had only the darkness and Homage’s words to hold me. I could not know that my love had struck the deepest, most vital blow to the Enclave yet. I did not realize Homage had pulled the entire power supply from that alien weapon and rigged it to a bomb. I did not see the brilliant blue explosion that obliterated more than just the base station and the dozen heavily-armed Enclave pegasi inside. For two hundred years, the nearly fifty towers of the Single Pegasus Project had stood, impervious to everything the enemy and the wasteland could throw at them. I was not a witness on that snow-swept ridge as one of those towers cracked, shifted, and came tumbling down.
Apparently, Homage took down one of the radio towers by somehow transforming that "alien weapon" she for some reason has into a bomb. It might have helped if the author had explained a little more about what this weapon is, where it came from, why she has it, and how powerful it is/was. It also would have been nice to actually witness this event, since it sounds a hell of a lot more exciting than anything that's happened to Littlepoop in the last few scenes. However, that would require a change in perspective, and when your entire massive epic is being narrated by a single whiny, irritating protagonist, changing perspectives just isn't possible.

Page break.

>I awoke, disoriented by the sense of having lost time.
Welcome to my world, Littlepoop.

Anyway, Littlepoop wakes up several hours later. She is magically cured of all her wounds once again, and finds that while she was out, most of the wounded poners have been cleared out of Derpy's store. Also, the place is full of griffons now, but they don't seem to be hostile, as they are Gawd's troops. Also, Derpy repaired LP's police barding while she was asleep.

We are introduced to two new griffon characters: Kage and Regina, both of whom turn out to be Gawd's children. Kkat attempts a bit of humor by having Littlepoop eye-hump Regina, and then lose her spaghetti when she finds out who her mother is. Like most of kkat's jokes, it goes on way too long and isn't particularly funny. If he really wants to make people laugh, he should stick to tragedy.

Page break.

>I leaned against the train engine that made up part of the hodge-podge construction of Absolutely Everything. It was the dark, dead hours of the early morning. That hour where the darkness lays most heavily on the soul and the hungry monsters outside claw at your door.
Oh, kkat. How long did you have that line rattling around in your brain, just waiting for an excuse to be written down?

Anyway, after the hilarious exchange between LP and Regina, LP goes outside to take a piss, when she is suddenly approached by one of Spike/Watcher/Frank's sprite-bots. The bot informs her that the Enclave has been tracking her movements and has sent a hit squad after her, made up of their most elite fighters. Unsurprisingly, this squadron is called the Wonderbolts, and unsurprisingly this pisses off Littlepoop, even though there is no reason that I'm aware of for this name to even mean anything to her.

In any event, Frank has dropped by because apparently the Enclave came to visit him and "interrogated" him somehow. Seeing as how the last time they came after him he melted a couple of their soldiers quite effortlessly, it's unclear how they might have accomplished this. Also unclear is why they left him both alive and free once they were finished with him, seeing as how warning Littlepoop would be the most logical action for him to take as soon as he was out of their custody. But we'll put a pin in that for now. Point is, they interrogated him and learned that LP had visited Ironshod Firearms way the fuck back in Chapter Four or thereabouts. This is not vital information in and of itself, but apparently Littlepoop was not quite the super-1337 h4><0RR that she is today, and she was clumsy in her hacking of the computer back there. So, they managed to get hold of her PipBuck's signature, and can now track her wherever she goes.

It's a pity there wasn't anything on that computer except some long-dead pony's 200 year old diary, and if she hadn't bothered to hack the terminal to obtain this useless information, she wouldn't be in this mess. Gee, it's almost like there's a lesson in here for her; something about curiosity killing the cat, perhaps?

Anyway, that's the end of the chapter.

Chapter Forty-One: Towards Hope

Today's Fortune Cookie:

>“For many of us, the road is a difficult one, but the path is always there for us to follow, no matter how many times we may fall.”
Apparently, kkat ran out of Fallout and MLP dialogue to plagiarize, and now has to resort to using platitudes ripped from Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlets.

Calamity appears to have laid out his plan for dealing with the Wonderbolts during the space between chapters, and Littlepoop stands aghast at whatever he told her exactly.

>Hell, it wasn’t even a plan. Plans have… plan stuff. Calamity had a bunch of ideas and vague hopes tied together by multiple points of “and then something happens”.
Calamity and kkat should collaborate on a novel sometime; it sounds like they have similar writing styles.

Anyway, absent a better plan, it seems that Littlepoop has little choice but to go along with whatever Calamity wants to do. Incidentally, are they still working through Littlepoop's plan? The one from before, that she can't remember because she erased her own memory? Or was that plan finished once she killed the Goddess? Kkat doesn't really conclude his storylines; he just stops writing about them and moves on to something else, assuming that we will just intuitively grasp whatever he has in mind.

Anyway, it seems that LP has some ideas for how to augment Calamity's plan. She will need both Frank and Gawd's help.
>“For many of us, the road is a difficult one, but the path is always there for us to follow, no matter how many times we may fall.”

This one here was actually ripped from Fallout New Vegas with the Honest Hearts DLC with Joshua Gram. Think he's done it a few times now actually.

I remember you mentioned before about trying out the Fallout games to compare it to this story and see where kkat took insperation from and feel like you'd really like Honest Hearts.


Fallout never really address old world religion so makes Joshua and Daniel interesting characters carrying an Old Testament vs New Testament morality and many memorable quotes from him.
>If they are written by straight or lesbian women, 38 year olds like kkat who are trannies trying to larp as lesbians, or sweaty fat guys or limp twisted soy boys role playing as them online, they are always written the same by being super horny and have to leer at everything with a vagina. He absolutely wasn't the first to do so but I noticed just about every Fallout Equestria story and most the art is over powered lesbian unicorns.
I've noticed this too. Kkat basically writes his "lesbian" protagonist the same way he'd write a man. In fact, neither Littlepoop's femininity nor her being a lesbian really impact the story all that much, so you could easily rewrite this with a male protagonist without having to change all that much.

I don't pretend to know much about lesbians, but I've never had the impression that they think about sex the same way a guy does, ie walking around checking out the ass of every girl they see. Littlepoop basically behaves like a horny construction worker: she doesn't vocalize her thoughts in an obnoxious way, but since we're privy to them we can tell that sex is on her mind quite a bit, and she doesn't seem too picky or too monogamous about it. Even though she's in a "relationship" with Homage, this doesn't prevent her from objectively sizing up each attractive female she meets as a potential sex partner, which again is closer to how a male thinks than how (I would assume) a gay woman thinks. It's not necessarily a condemnation of her behavior, but if she were written as a male it would change the audience's view of her. A man who thinks and behaves this way would come across as a horndog, but a "lesbian" gets a pass.

The reason for this is because it's basically considered normal for men to objectify women on some level, but since it's normal there's usually no reason to call attention to their doing it. For instance, one can probably assume that Hamlet, for all his moody bullshit, had the same impulses and attractions as any other guy his age; however, he doesn't spend every soliloquy talking about Ophelia's tits. If a male character is constantly talking or thinking about sex, the reader will generally take this to mean that he has an exceptionally strong libido that you, the author, wanted to emphasize for some plot-related reason.

However, when writing a character who has some kind of uncommon sexual preference, you need to find a way to let the reader know this; otherwise they will just assume that your character is probably straight, if they think about it at all. It takes practice to do this with subtlety, so a lot of writers end up doing what kkat does here: have the character constantly make references to their own sexuality or make it blatantly obvious that they are into women, men, sheep, coprophilia or any other sort of demented thing the author wants the reader to know they're into. The fact that the character has an abnormal preference that you want to emphasize is the only reason to do this; as soon as you remove the abnormality from it the character simply appears to be overly obsessed with sex.

>To put it in terms of the already badly strained real world comparison, she's planning to make the US citizens rebel against the government that instigated the War on Terror by deleting all the breadbasket states and making the country dependent on food imports from the Middle East.
What's interesting here is that even if you set aside all the moral questions, this would probably produce the exact opposite of she wants. She's trying to bring about peace by eliminating the Enclave's hold over its people, but forcing a massive number of ponies used to living in relative plenty into competition with the already-stressed wastelanders would be a recipe for disaster. If resources are already scarce, then making them even more so certainly won't reduce conflict.

What would probably happen is the pegasi would stop hating the surface ponies they've never met because the Enclave told them to, and start hating the surface ponies they have met, because those 200 year old cans of beans are now the only food on the planet, and suddenly there are many thousands more mouths to feed.

If kkat understood concepts like this he could probably do something interesting with it, but...well, obviously.
I'm planning to play them once I've wrapped this story up. I actually think not playing any of the games before delving into this was the right choice; if I knew what was being referenced my mind would automatically fill in the blanks. Coming into it blind, I have nothing but kkat's narration to inform me of what's going on, and that really makes it clear just how nonsensical this story really is. If there was a way I could have selectively erased my memories of MLP before reading, so I would be prevented from also using that knowledge as a crutch, I think I would have opted to do that as well.
>the Enclave named their elite killsquad The Wonderbolts

The Wonderbolts were a bunch of circus performers until later-season retcons added more military shit to them. The wonderbolts in this story were (as was established 50 chapters ago) used as an elite squad of fliers by Equestria and many died trying to same some ponies from Zigger pirates. Rainbow Dash founded the Shadowbolts, a dedicated military force of elite fliers (I think) working for her "Ministry Of Awesome". It makes no sense for the Enclave to name their elite fliers "The Wonderbolts".

This would be like if America got nuked and 200 years later, a fragment of America that seceded on racial grounds and once tried turning the Denver Broncos into an elite rescue unit (only for them to underperform in their new role) decided to call its own elite killsquad Manchester United just because they were founded by someone they now hate who also loved Manchester United and founded the Denver Broncos hoping to replace them.
Mr Krabs! I had an idea!

What if at the story's start, Littlepip had to complete a multiple choice quiz with questions about history and science and theoretical questions about how you would act in assorted extreme scenarios? LP could go out of her way to pick the nicest sounding theoretical options while thinking "lmao this is retarded a smart hero like me would never do this" even though ironically she becomes a total goody two (four?) shoes outside the Stable. Also the questions regarding Equestria's history could be used to establish what LP actually knows about old world history and what she has to lie about on her test if she wants a passing grade. Correctly answering that Pinkie invented crack and AJ invented guns, incorrectly claiming the Battle Of The Bulgey-Wulgey was fought over economic reasons when it was really fought because ziggers were raping there, writing some short essay to be pure cumsucking asskissing faggotry designed to pleasure a teacher she hates for being a blunt obvious one-note living representation of the shitheads that let Equestria die, and so on.

It could be like the G.O.A.T. test from Fallout 3 only instead of "penguin of doom lolsorandum" bullshit, it's used for characterization. Maybe mix in a little of the personality quiz from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Kris's quiz from Custom Robo Arena.

By establishing LP as one who hides her true self to fit in inside the Stable, it makes for a more shocking moment when she reveals her true self outside the Stable, or something right?
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LP and Calamity are standing around on the porch of Derpy's store. LP is asking why the Wonderbolts haven't tracked her down yet, which is actually a pretty good question, when they bump into Railright. They discuss the fate of the pegasi from earlier. Apparently, the two bumpkins that wandered in are still hanging around; Railright put them to work doing something or other in return for food and shelter. The military one that Calamity was arguing with answered some kind of summons from the Enclave to return to base.

As ever, it's unclear what the Enclave's motivations are, but they seem to have some kind of taboo about returning to the surface world. Any pegasus who comes into contact with any of the ground ponies is considered unclean or infected or something. In this case, it appears the Enclave made a broadcast inviting "misplaced citizens" to return; from Calamity's reaction, the implication seems to be that the summons is a ruse, and anyone who answers it will be killed.

>“Cuz that place needs t’ be more toxic,” Calamity nickered.
Seriously; go through the text. Every goddamn time a character in this story makes a horse noise, it's always a "nicker." These ponies don't neigh, and they don't whinny; neither do they whicker, grunt, or snort. No, the only sound kkat's horses are capable of making is the eternal nicker. Its phonetic similarity to "nigger" aside, I'm really getting tired of reading this word all the time.

They talk about current events; apparently there has been an unusual amount of rain lately. This may or may not have anything to do with the Enclave. Incidentally, if pegasi canonically control the weather in this universe, and their society has chosen to completely forsake the ponies on the surface world, then why does it still rain in the wasteland?

Anyway, a town called Hope is arbitrarily namedropped, and LP inquires about it:

>“The town with that old weapons factory,” Railright clarified. Ironshod Firearms. I remembered walking through the playground of Hope. I’d seen my first Ministry of Morale poster there. I just hadn’t known the town’s name.
Oddly enough, I think I remember that place. I recall wondering why there was a playground out in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere. For whatever it's worth, here is what I had to say about it at the time:

>She wanders around some more and finds herself in a ruined playground. There's nothing of any particular note here except some more edge: apparently there were some foals playing in the playground when the nuclear explosion went off (I guess), so now their skeletons are lying by the merry go round. Cue sad music. After this apparently meaningless find, she realizes she's thirsty, so she goes to a fucking vending machine and buys a fucking soda. Yes, this autism is actually in the text.

Apparently, Hope was also the home of a large solar power array. Odd that LP didn't notice this while she was wandering around there before. Then again, she didn't notice the gigantic radio towers dotted about all over the place either, until they became relevant to the plot.

>“Hope Solar Array,” Calamity told me, sounding a little bored. “Big bunch o’ dishes pointed up at the clouds. Best Ah c’n gather, the ponies o’ the old world tried all sorts o’ crazy ways t’ get power when the coal supply got strangled.”
Yet another vague aspect of kkat's universe. How exactly are the various devices we've seen powered? We have technology like computer terminals, artificially intelligent mechanical owls, computer-guided targeting systems, and so forth and so on, existing side by side with spells and witchcraft. This is one of those sticky situations you can run into when you try to blend sci-fi and fantasy. What powers these devices? Magic? Electricity? Steam? It pays to put thought into stuff like this before you sit down and start writing.

While they are talking about this, the door to the store suddenly opens and Regina Grimfeathers (Gawd's daughter) appears. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and starts smoking; that's how you can tell she's a bad-ass. She announces that Silver Bell has gone missing. Could this be the start of the team's next adventure? As it turns out, no; Silver Bell appears to have simply gone to the bathroom. The only reason the subject even came up was so kkat could toss in another cringe-worthy joke, this time about LP pissing outside when the town had public toilets all along.

Anyway, with that essential matter all cleared up, the conversation returns to its previous topic: the Enclave. The long and short of it is that the Enclave is the most technologically advanced civilization on the planet, due to their still having access to all of the pre-war technology that they had when they decided to seal themselves off. However, without unicorns, they are unable to develop new tech, and are reliant on what they already have. They have apparently been scavenging from mountaintops and warring with the griffins for the last two centuries in order to procure resources, but those wells seem to have finally run dry. Presumably, this is why they have decided to invade the wasteland. Also, it turns out that the sonic rainboom is like a weapon of mass destruction to them, and so Derpy's ability to pull one off has sent them into some kind of panic. So, in summation, that is why the Wonderbolts haven't come after them yet. This entire subchapter was just a long, meandering answer to this one simple question.

Page break. LP reenters the store and tells Gawd that she needs a favor. There is yet another cringe-worthy joke about LP's lesbian attraction to Gawd that goes on far longer than it has any right to, and then LP gets down to brass tacks: she wants Gawd to escort Derpy and Silver Bell to Spike's cave for protection. At this point, LP notices that Silver Bell still hasn't returned from the bathroom yet; she must be taking a pretty gigantic shit.
>without unicorns, they are unable to develop new tech, and are reliant on what they already have
But Earth Ponies invented firearms and cyborgery in this setting. AJ and her ministry invented guns while the all-earth pony vault Red Eye is from invented the cybernetic enhancements he uses. If earth ponies can do that, Pegasi should be able to do more using their wings like hands cartoon-style. Sure they can't do any telekinetic unicorn shit or trap souls in objects or whatever, but you'd think after 200 years the Enclave would have some factories (possibly made from clouds or designed with the help of unicorns) designed to let pegasi build shit. Or maybe some hidden factories and work camps in the middle of buttfuck nowhere for any Unicorn or EarthPony kids/slaves of the Enclave to work for the good of the enclave in return for their protection and feeding.

Is that a real fighting game? Normally excessively-crippling/lethal throws like that do less damage than a series of boots to the face for balance purposes.

Stiletto, who I think is one of Gawd's underlings, suddenly enters the store and informs them that Silver Bell is up at Railright's, and is in need of assistance. There's no implication that she is in any serious danger, but for some reason both LP and Derpy interpret it this way, and take off running. They arrive at the building Railright uses as his headquarters, and find it ominously dark. LP floats out her gun, and Derpy kicks down the door. However, before they can get down to the business of murdering everyone in sight, the lights suddenly pop on and balloons descend from the ceiling. A room full of the townsponies yell "surprise" in unison. Too bad LP didn't shoot first and ask questions later like she usually does; the results could have been hilarious.

Page break. Turns out that what started as Pinkie Bell going out to take a shit and nearly ended as a tragic bloodbath was actually a surprise party that Silver Bell had planned for her adoptive mother, to recognize her efforts in saving the town. They all stand around and eat cake, and LP catches up with Crane, the pony from way back who taught her how to use her bullshit telekinesis powers to the fullest. He is duly impressed by the feats of Mary Suedom she has accomplished with said power since she was last under his tutelage.

He casually mentions the existence of a potion that can cure magic burnout. This would be immensely helpful to Littlepoop, since her occasional bouts with light fatigue are really the last thing standing between her and godhood, but in a surprising twist she actually turns down the opportunity to go on a pointless side-mission. However, she promises to investigate the place later if she happens to be in the area.

After this, LP goofs around and enjoys the party for a bit longer, and then goes outside for some reason or other. Gawd approaches her, and tells her that she has decided to accept her offer to escort Derpy and Silver Bell to Spike's place, in exchange for 500 caps. Nothing else happens, really.

Page break. LP goes back inside and parties for a bit longer, and when things start to wind down she is approached by Xenith. They are eventually joined by Calamity and Regina. They sit around and bullshit for awhile, the played-out unfunny joke about LP wanting to munch down on Regina and/or her mother rears its ugly head again, and then they chat about guns and battles. It turns out that the Enclave has taken to hunting raiders as some kind of PR move to convince the Equestrians that they are the good guys. The upshot of this seems to be that the raiders have been mostly driven from the wasteland; fans of child gladiator battles will now have to seek amusement elsewhere, though.

Also, it turns out that Regina and her brother Kage are planning to come with Littlepoop on her next mission. Apparently, they have fallen into the inescapable black hole of hero worship that follows her wherever she goes.

Page break. The next day, Velvet Remedy shows up. Apparently, she saw Derpy's rainboom and came here to help the wounded or whatever; you may or may not remember that "kindness" is supposed to be her thing. She is escorted in by Crane, who has apparently been bragging to her that his powers of Mary Sue magic can outclass even Mary Sue herself. They all have a chuckle about this, and then Crane wanders off, leaving Velvet and LP to talk about feelings and stuff.

The conversation goes about the way you'd expect. LP apologizes for not leaving Velvet's room when she asked her to, and Velvet apologizes for being a cunt:

>Velvet Remedy shook her head, her striped mane flapping wetly. “No. They were cruel. And… hypocritical.” She shrugged off her medical boxes. The yellow boxes with their pink butterflies sank into the brown water. “I’m not worthy to follow Fluttershy. Or to be your friend.”
Once again, the characters in this story seem to always learn the wrong lessons. Or, in this case, reach the right conclusion, but for the wrong reasons. She calls herself hypocritical here, which is certainly true; I've said as much about her more than once. However, she doesn't seem to fully grasp why she's a hypocrite.

Velvet professes a vaguely-defined set of wishy-washy ideals about "kindness" and a desire to "help" ponies, but she only follows them when it's convenient for her, if at all. She left the stable because she wanted to be a doctor instead of a singer, then wound up working as a part time nurse/part time singer for a bunch of slavers. She didn't seem to have any objections to working for these ponies, yet she just as willingly teamed up with some psychopath who showed up one day and murdered them all. She followed said psychopath and her friends around, patching up their various injuries as they brutally slaughtered half the wasteland, and apart from the occasional arbitrary objection to some specific murder or other, she seemed to more or less condone the psychopath's behavior. Then, randomly, she gets mad at her and strikes off on her own; then, just as randomly, she reappears, wanting to make amends.

This character has no solid convictions about anything; she just does whatever she wants and leaves it to others to clean the mess up behind her, just like LP and every other character in this story. The only thing she cares about is that she can feel like she's doing good most of the time; the actual outcomes that her actions produce is irrelevant to her. That's what makes her an insincere hypocrite. However, that's not what she's apologizing for here.

>I’m not worthy to follow Fluttershy. Or to be your friend.
She's not apologizing for her own shitty behavior, she's just apologizing for momentarily forgetting that Littlepoop is the hero that Gotham deserves. As to her "following" Fluttershy, it's never been clear just what aspect of Flutters she's trying to emulate. She's as insincere about this as she is about everything else.
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Anyway, there's no point in going over the rest of this conversation, since I'd just be reiterating complaints I've made a thousand times before about Velvet and Littlepoop. They swap platitudes back and forth for awhile, and then yada yada yada they're friends again.

There is, however, one minor detail that probably bears mentioning:

>After a pregnant pause, she let out a trembling whinny. “It’s my fault SteelHooves is dead.”
Basically, Velvet blames herself for SteelHooves' death because she insisted they stay camped where they were so that Littlepoop could find them again, or something. This made them an easy target for the hellhounds. Also noteworthy is that a character finally made a horse-noise that wasn't a nicker.

I could probably point out that the hellhounds are supposed to have super-acute hearing and could probably have tracked them down no matter where they were camped, but it feels like a waste of time. At this point I am sick of hearing about SteelHooves and how he died and how sad everyone is about it. Kkat completely ignored this incredibly boring character for 3/4 of the story, and then suddenly he gets decapitated and everyone is incapable of shutting up about him.

Anyway, long story short, Velvet has rejoined the party. Once the maudlin waterworks are out of the way, Calamity shows up and plays kissy-face with her, and this breaks the tension. The scene ends on what kkat likely considers a bittersweet note.

Page break. We rejoin the party at some indeterminate point in the future. They are approaching Manehattan; an unknown distance from New Appleoosa. Last time they made the journey it took them several weeks, but at the same time they kept making side trip. Who knows how far it actually is? It's as far as kkat wants it to be.

>“Ever consider mounting a magical energy turret on the top o’ that thing?” Reggie called up to Calamity, eyeing the Sky Bandit’s rack where SteelHooves had stood in past battles.
>Calamity wasn’t quick to answer. Like me, I think he felt that mounting a weapon would be too much like we were replacing SteelHooves.
Plus, imagine if it fell off the roof.

>Kage flew close on the other side, talking to Velvet Remedy. “So, you follow the pony who all the medical supply boxes are made to look like?”
This may be the most awkwardly worded line of dialogue in the entire text so far.

>“Yes,” Velvet Remedy stated, beginning to get her hooves back under her. “Her name is Fluttershy, and she was the best pony.”
>Kage considered that. “But… you said she was the one who created the megaspells?” Velvet Remedy had been surprisingly forthcoming with that bit of information. A reaction, I suspected, to our attempts to keep it a secret. “Which caused the apocalypse,” Kage added. “So… you’re a follower of the apocalypse?”
>Velvet Remedy needed only a heartbeat to answer. “If that is the name ponies want to use for anyone who aspires to the kindness of Fluttershy, then I will own that title. Without reservation.”
Scratch that, this is the most awkwardly worded conversation in the entire text so far. Seriously, nobody fucking talks like this, and the discussion is pointless. Why is this even in here?

Anyway, they are not long in Manehattan before they are set upon by ruffians:

>About ten minutes later, as we crouched in the cover of a broken sales bench, the pale grey light from the clouds was blotted out by the massive form of a black, anvil-shaped Enclave mobile fortress. Four great thunderclouds spanned out from it, two on each side. The ruined Manehattan street was rendered in stark black and white as massive bolts of lightning arced between them. Attached to each storm cloud was a Raptor. On each Raptor, one of the clouds holding it aloft had merged into one of the flying fortress’s broiling thunderclouds. The undercarriage of the massive ship bristled with weapon turrets. I could make out several large doors capable of dropping war chariots or bombers or troops by the scores.
Kkat clearly has some interesting visuals in his head, but unfortunately he provides too little information for us to see what he sees. This is the first we've heard of any "flying fortresses" in this story; at first I thought he was talking about the Raptor battleships we've seen before. However, the fact that Raptors are also present indicates that they are a different type of thing. So the flying fortresses are...bigger than the Raptors? Smaller? We've had absolutely zero description of these vehicles; presumably they're a direct ripoff of something from Fallout, and kkat simply assumes that we've all played the games and know what he's referencing.

Anyway, it sounds like whatever these things are, they're pretty big. Also, they don't seem particularly interested in harassing the party; Calamity informs us that this is part of the larger operation we've heard about before. The technical name for this is "Operation: Cauterize," and it refers to the systematic removal of all pegasi technology from the surface world, as well as hunting down the various Dashites (I don't remember if I've mentioned this or not). It doesn't seem like either of these tasks would really require this much firepower; however, it sounds as if what's mostly going on here is internal Enclave politics. The higher-ups need to claim some kind of big showy victory in order to impress the other higher-ups and retain their positions, or get reelected, or something. As usual, kkat's ideas are not necessarily bad, but they are half-formed and poorly explained.

>“By the vector, I’d say they’re aimin’ fer Fillydelphia,” Reggie suggested. “Assumin’ they don’t plan t’ park that thing over Tenpony Tower.”
>Fuck. Dammit, dammit, dammit!
What is LP's concern here? If the Enclave is busy fighting Red Eye in Fillydelphia, it means their main force will be distracted, so the party can...wait a minute. What exactly is the party supposed to be doing right now again? Bringing back the sun, or something?
>Scratch that, this is the most awkwardly worded conversation in the entire text so far. Seriously, nobody fucking talks like this, and the discussion is pointless. Why is this even in here?
Ham-handed Fallout reference. In Fallout, the Followers of the Apocalypse are a (nominally) pacifist organisation that tries to provide charity and medical aid to those in need. I wouldn't be surprised if Velvet and Fluttershy's entire convoluted path through this story was intended to lead up to this one specific name drop.

>So the flying fortresses are...bigger than the Raptors? Smaller? We've had absolutely zero description of these vehicles; presumably they're a direct ripoff of something from Fallout, and kkat simply assumes that we've all played the games and know what he's referencing.
Surprisingly, Fallout has no equivalent to the airships used by FoE's Enclave. The only thing vaguely comparable are the Enclave's vertibirds, which are effectively just small helicopters. Fallout 4 gave the Brotherhood of Steel *an* airship, but that was years after FoE was completed.

The raptors and flying fortresses (which, if I remember correctly, are called thunderheads) are entirely original to FoE, so the fact that they're poorly described stands out even more. Fallout's Enclave have nothing that even comes close to this level of air superiority.
>Is that a real fighting game? Normally excessively-crippling/lethal throws like that do less damage than a series of boots to the face for balance purposes.
No idea; I found it on 4chan and it made me chuckle. I assume it's just someone fucking around with SFM or something similar, but it might be a real game.

>But Earth Ponies invented firearms and cyborgery in this setting. AJ and her ministry invented guns while the all-earth pony vault Red Eye is from invented the cybernetic enhancements he uses. If earth ponies can do that, Pegasi should be able to do more using their wings like hands cartoon-style.
This is a pretty good point. It doesn't particularly make sense that the pegasi wouldn't be able to develop new technology, just like it doesn't make sense that the wasteland would have failed to redevelop at least some rudimentary level of civilization over the course of 200 years, and it doesn't make sense that so many ponies would randomly transform into sadists who decorate their bedrooms with entrails and make children fight each other for no reason. At a glance, kkat's world seems pretty intricately put together, but it's mostly just because it's so large and complicated. As soon as you start examining things closely you see that large portions of the way this world works have not been properly thought out.

>What if at the story's start, Littlepip had to complete a multiple choice quiz with questions about history and science and theoretical questions about how you would act in assorted extreme scenarios? LP could go out of her way to pick the nicest sounding theoretical options while thinking "lmao this is retarded a smart hero like me would never do this" even though ironically she becomes a total goody two (four?) shoes outside the Stable. Also the questions regarding Equestria's history could be used to establish what LP actually knows about old world history and what she has to lie about on her test if she wants a passing grade. Correctly answering that Pinkie invented crack and AJ invented guns, incorrectly claiming the Battle Of The Bulgey-Wulgey was fought over economic reasons when it was really fought because ziggers were raping there, writing some short essay to be pure cumsucking asskissing faggotry designed to pleasure a teacher she hates for being a blunt obvious one-note living representation of the shitheads that let Equestria die, and so on.
How in the world would this improve anything? The prologue is already a long infodump about PipBucks; I fail to see the benefit in adding an even longer infodump about a bunc of even more trivial subjects, none of which will matter until 400 pages into the story.

>The Wonderbolts were a bunch of circus performers until later-season retcons added more military shit to them. The wonderbolts in this story were (as was established 50 chapters ago) used as an elite squad of fliers by Equestria and many died trying to same some ponies from Zigger pirates. Rainbow Dash founded the Shadowbolts, a dedicated military force of elite fliers (I think) working for her "Ministry Of Awesome". It makes no sense for the Enclave to name their elite fliers "The Wonderbolts".
I didn't go over it, but the text actually somewhat addresses this:

>Calamity leaned close and whispered, “The Wonderbolts are the stars of the Enclave. Spend as much time putting on shows at patriotism events as they do actually hunting.” He added, “Probably more.”
>Celebrities. The best hunter-killer pack in the Enclave… they tracked down and murdered ponies for a living, and they had fans. They put on shows. Ponies lined up for their autographs. There were press releases whenever they had a roster change. How fucked up was that?
It doesn't make a ton of sense, but the Wonderbolts in this story seem to be similar to the Wonderbolts in the show, in that they seem to alternate between being a troupe of entertainers and some kind of paramilitary force. They are one of many areas of the show where worldbuilding was handled rather clumsily, and I've never been 100% clear on what their role is supposed to be exactly. I know this is a subject of debate within the fandom, so I assumed that kkat was just tossing this in for the bronies, as you point out. I don't remember how they were portrayed at the time this story would have been written, however.

>The raptors and flying fortresses (which, if I remember correctly, are called thunderheads) are entirely original to FoE, so the fact that they're poorly described stands out even more.
Huh. Literally everything in this story I take a guess at turns out to be a football pull one way or the other.
>Fallout Equestria in a shellnut
>follower of the apocalypse
nyrheheh Lois he said it! He said the thing!
But for real this is the most hamfisted title drop I've seen since "What are we, some kind of Suicide Squad?".
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>Twilight seeing the news of mega spells being sent to the ziggers.
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Twilight Sparkle, who was "absorbed into Trixie's alicorn hive mind just like two twin unicorns good at telepathy and shield magic" except she also just became another random Alicorn in the middle of nowhere who shows up for maudlin bullshit after Trixie's death...

Man... Imagine if for much of the early story, Twilight Sparkle the terrifying all-powerful invincible Alicorn assassin-slave was sent after LP who is constantly forced to evade her and flee from her. Fights with Twilight aren't fights, they're struggles to survive and sometimes delay her until you can escape from her for a while.

That'd be sick, especially if life is suffering for enslaved Alicorn Twilight who cries silently when not screaming.

Fucking epic, like the Man On Fire from MGSV/Arnold Terminator/That invincible suit from Metroid. It could add tension to every scene. Is LP fucking her GF or taking a shit or shooting raiders? Twilight is coming. Could give her an edgy rename like Midnight. Or maybe The Nightwalker or The Midnight or Midnight Malady or Midnight Doom.


The Watcher, a mysterious entity that sometimes possesses (hacks into) Spritebots like Ulysseys from FNV's Lonesome Road.

Revealing it was Spike all along seems kind of lame. This huge dragon could start a nation to defend the Gardens Of Equestria better than the Steel Brotherhood of Applejack's Rangers ever could. Instead he just waits and sometimes hacks bots with his giant claws and a tiny computer keyboard, borrowing eyebots aka spritebots.

Also, there are Crusader Maneframe supercomputers that contain living AIs and can simulate copies of brain-scanned ponies. And you can split a chunk of your soul into an item to make it invincible or shove all of your woul into it to possess it. At some point an old guy wanted to live forever in this way, but it never went anywhere, right? Just shit that became a red herring when Kkat decided simply making LP live forever in one Crusader Maneframe wasn't Sue enough.

Why didn't Equestria win the war with steel pony animatronics brought to life with fragments of the souls of fatally wounded soldiers or the terminally ill for maximum invincibility? Nopony thought of that in time. Not even Twilight or Rarity.

However... What if a pre-war pony tried to upload her brain and soul into a Crusader Maneframe supercomputer and then tried to spread her soul out across all the robots under her command to make them invincible... only for the tech to fuck up and split chunks of her brain along with the soul, resulting in a shitton of retarded invincible robots roaming around (LP could get one of these quirky little bots as a friend) until Littlepip figures out what's going on and fixes everything, resulting in the pre-war pony of choice with a split brain being healed and remembering all her pre-war knowledge?

It's a twist on Mr House the bot-controlling guy since he didn't lose his mind and can't literally split his soul across bots to make them invincible.

And if this was done to an interesting pre-nuking pony it would be a great way to turn one obligatory quirky robot fren into a major player in the lategame. At first it justifies making the occasional roaming Spritebot help the player out. Then once something special is done to one Spritebot so it can remain mentally awake for longer without sleeping and roaming at random playing polka tracks, it justifies adding an ED-E or Mr Gutsy or Claptrap kind of character to the party for comic relief and hacking and lockpicking (LP would be slightly less of a sue if she wasn't a hacking and lockpicking god and a telekinesis and sneak and gun god).

Sending LP on a mission to grab the important machine part would justify one of the story's many unjustified dungeon crawls.

Any type of robot would do for this scenario, but keeping this a Spritebot/Eyebot thing just seems right. And since Pinkie is an incredibly entertaining character and she was canonically the inventor of the spritebots (because Kkat wanted the Cartoon Militarist Radio-playing bots from F3 and thought making them the eyes of Pinkie's 1984 ministry and making them play pinkie polka music would make them fit better into Equestria) what if Pinkie survived the war by putting her mind and soul into a Crusader Maneframe and getting split across her Spritebots? In the lategame LP could help "The Watcher" aka Pinkie Pie put some upgrade onto DJ Pon3's tower that unites the bots back into the hive mind they are meant to have, restoring Pinkie's once-fragmented mind back to peak Pinkie. Then if Alicorn Twilight wasn't already beaten, they could talk.

Hey, trying to bring the Mane Six back to life would be an awesome main quest for the heroes! Better than trying to fuck with the weather. Gathering the Statuettes to revive Rarity, finding ghoul survivalist bitter RD somewhere in buttfuck nowhere and reigniting her heroism, healing Pinkie's fractured psyche, breaking Twilight free from Trixie's control (then Twi creates a megaspell nuke grenade on the spot for LP to sneak into Trixie's home while living in Canterlot and repairing it), doing some other thing with AJ and Flutters... It could be great. It would help the old Equestria feel connected to the new Edgequestria. Because right now Edgequestria is just foreign bastardized Fallout 1-4 crap sprinkled on the corpse of an Equestria killed by ideals it simultaneously sometimes forgot...

Plus if LP heard Goddess Trixie loses control of the Alicorns in Canterlot it would give LP (pursued by Twilight) a better reason to go there than "muh black book". Just put the Black Book in Twilight's Treebrary and make it bond itself to LP when she picks it up so nopony can read it but her until she dies and she never wants to read it because it's evil. This justifies making her hyper important to the world without her needing to be some OP storm of death. Just like making Commander Shepard read Important-Ese and giving PMD2's hero Future Sight.
>Enslaved Alicorn Twilight nicknames
How about "The End of Days"?
It sounds incredibly spooky, but not cheesy like Midnight Doom.
It sounds like something Edgequestrians might actually name some mysterious horrifying unkillable force of nature. You know if they didn't feel like naming everything after slightly ponified Fallout elements or tossing out shitty names like Gutterville.
And best of all...
It references the Twilight period at the end of day and the start of night in a geniusly subtle way. As long as the Alicorn's a black silhouette with glowing white eyes and flaming black (or white?) hair instead of visually looking exactly like Twilight but bigger, I bet 99% of all Fallout Equestria readers would literally never guess The End of Days is a mind controlled Twilight Sparkle until enough big reveals make it increasingly obvious. Even then, I bet actual theoretical money the chapter that spells out "The End of Days is Twilight" and Twilight regains control in Canterlot in a big dramatic moment would have shitloads of comments gasping. For every one "I knew it!" comment there would be two "I didn't see that coming!" comments.
Feel like that alicorn Twilight could have been the Frank Horigan reference in the story. Be this super powerful entity hunting down LP and the gang like you mentioned. Have it so Twilight's love of knowledge and protecting others get corrupted (fits into kkat's whole moral dilemma of corrupted elements of harmony) so she wants to assimilate more ponies and take over the Wasteland to preserve pony life and to add more knowledge and experience to the hive mind.

For a name I liked one I heard in a fan song where she was named Eclipse. Fits for her being the student and in the case of a corrupted version the usurper of Celestia and Luna while having knowledge she learned from both so has eclipsed their power and the power of the sun and moon.

Mentioned revealing Spike later so could have had a thing where LP kills Trixie and now Alicorn Twilight is freed from the hivemind. Has a dilemma where she knows she isn't the original Twilight since she became part of the flesh blob the Goddess was and also dealing with the trauma of only having her own thoughts now and missing much of what the hive mind provided. Maybe a part of her remembers a memory Twilight had about the Garden of Equestria. A last ditch plan Incase any of the Mane 6 were killed or incapable of using them.

Alicorn Twilight in a daze finds herself drawn to there and LP follows her trail or maybe travels with her and they trek up the mountain and find Spike hibernating outside the enterance to it. Have an emotional reunion where Spike is excited to see Twilight again but realizes this isn't really her but she has a part of Twilight inside and helps her come to terms with her identity. LP can help right her element where before she was a drone forcing ponies to become alicorns so their minds can be preserved in the hive mind can now use the technology at the Garden of Equestia and the sprite bots to guide LP and others around the Wasteland and share knowledge freely like the original Twilight would.

Rather then the radio being Homage talking about scissoring LP and playing the same music over and over got alicorn Twilight sharing stories of the Mane 6 and Equestria before the war. Gives hope to ponies where rather then sitting around munching on 200 year old beans they can hear how good ponies used to be and hear about the history of the ruins they are squatting in. Make them motivated to improve themselves and honor the ponies of yore and return Equestria to how it used to be.

Not sure how they could do Red Eyes in this version of the story but maybe have a conflict where LP and Twilight want to help ponies return to the old Equestria but Red Eyes sees the way the world is now and rather then cling to old hope he wants to bring everypony under his hoof to forge a new nation and belief where ponies are hardened to conquering the Wasteland. Makes it a tough dilemma for LP since Red Eyes plan is the easy solution, everyone join in one massive totalitarian faction and fight everything around them. Then there's Twilight's plan to have everyone work together but by their own volition. It'll be tougher, take longer, many ponies are going to die from faction conflicts, monsters, and famine/disease, but if they can succeed it'll be an Equestria where ponies are free and the elements can live on in all their hearts.
1 Magician Pepe .gif

Anyway, it seems that whatever the fuck is going on, LP has yet another plan. In her own words, this one involves "making this all better" and "making the loss mean something." I Ii II I_ It seems that this plan is really just an extension of her existing plan, which has presumably been running in the background all this time. Meanwhile, she assures Calamity that they will, in fact, still be executing his plan alongside this new plan. So, all in all, it's a good day for plans.

As usual, what they actually intend to do or what they hope to accomplish by doing it is about as clear as mud, but the basic idea seems to be that they need to find whatever building the Enclave is using as a communications center. Littlepoop suggests Horseshoe Tower, which you may or may not remember is that place where some griffons were being pinned down by some alicorns like 40 eternities ago. So, I guess that's where they're heading.

Page break. We rejoin the part at some indeterminate point in the future, and they appear to still be talking about plans. Velvet seems surprised that Calamity would have a plan, because usually it's not his style to have a plan. However, he assures her that he does, in fact, have a plan, and it's a good plan. Plan, plan, plan.

Anyway, they have returned to Tenpony Tower. For some idiotic reason or other, Calamity intends to have Life Bloom erase his memories, the same way that Littlepoop had hers erased. Velvet thinks this is a stupid idea, and for once I agree with her. However, apparently Calamity's plan involves "saving" the Wonderbolts instead of just defeating them, and for some reason he needs to have his memories erased in order to do this.

Page break. They meet up with some unnamed character within Tenpony, who is apparently the same unnamed character who explained Monterrey Jack's legal affairs to Littlepoop like 20 or 30 eternities ago. He seems impressed by Derpy's sonic rainboom, and for some reason connects this event to Littlepoop's party, even though they basically had nothing to do with it. Anyway, he is a member of the Twilight Society, which you may or may not remember is the fruity little club that runs Tenpony behind the scenes.

Also, for whatever its worth, it seems that Homage's broadcasts are now being called "Resistance Radio," because that's not corny as all fuck or anything. I'd actually like to reference one of my earlier comments, because it applies as much here as it did earlier:
>As far as I can tell, for Homage, "getting the truth out" basically means playing the same five songs over and over in perpetuity forever, and occasionally gushing about how wonderful and heroic her lesbian girlfriend is. I have to say, her sense of self-importance relative to what she actually does for a living is eerily similar to that of an actual journalist.

Anyway, the unnamed pony agrees to help them in whatever way they might need. Littlepoop also says she has a legal matter that she wants to ask him about whenever it's convenient; however, we do not learn what it is just yet. Once this is settled, they are all shown to a fancy suite, and Velvet suggests a trip to the spa. However, Littlepoop wants to infiltrate Horseshoe Tower first, because it turns out they did a flyover of it during the ether space between scenes, and confirmed that yes, the Enclave is using it as a communications tower or something. Then, Velvet and Calamity start making out, so Littlepoop and the two griffons excuse themselves to go sneak into the tower or whatever.

Page break. We rejoin Littlepoop and possibly the two griffons at some indeterminate point in the future. They appear to be inside Horseshoe Tower. How they got there does not seem to be important, even though there was supposedly a Raptor circling the roof and a bunch of guards surrounding the place.

>It was just as I remembered it. As I looked down into the pit of rubble, the little pony in my head reminded me that somewhere down there was Pinkie Pie’s last party, lost forever in an orb.
I don't entirely understand this comment. I know that we've been inside this building before, and I remember that there was a memory orb in which Pinkie Pie was coked out at a party and had a fight with her friends, which I assume is the one LP is referencing here. However, I don't remember what the connection is. Did that scene take place in this building? Or is she talking about the orb itself being buried here? I remember she tricked a couple of the alicorns by throwing some memory orbs at them, but I don't know if it was ever mentioned which orbs she threw, nor do I recall where she was when she threw them. Anyway, it probably doesn't matter.

>Getting this far had been… um, damn. Why was my mind searching for a metaphor for “easy” that involved muffins? Ditzy Doo was rubbing off on me. (No, not in an icky, flesh-rotting way.)
Kkat, I'm tired. I'm so very tired. Could you please just slap your own fake tits off this time? I don't think I have the energy to do it myself.

Anyway, they are poking stealthily through the building, all stealthy-like, when suddenly they are set upon by ruffians.

>Multi-colored light sprayed across the void, striking parts of the broken ceiling as well as a desk that had been hanging precariously over the drop. The desk melted into goo as it dripped down into the rubble below.
>Okay, that was new.
Is it? Seems to me that shit like this happens all the goddamn time in this story.

It turns out they're being attacked by some Enclave troops, who I guess have some kind of magic weapon that can melt rocks and stuff. Kage manages to kill one of them, but he takes damage to his wing, and meanwhile another soldier throws some grenades at them from an upper floor. LP levitates them back up, but this turns out to be one of those rare moments where explosions actually cause environmental damage. The ceiling crashes on top of her and pins her down underneath some rubble.
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Page break.

>“Section Twelve clear!” the pegasus barked through my earbloom. “Cauterizing in ten minutes.”
>With the Thunderheads in play, this place had become redundant. The Enclave had already been clearing out when we arrived. The Raptor above hadn’t been here for protection.
I think what she means to say here is that her task in this place has become redundant. Anyway, it seems that the Enclave intends to blow this place up, so there's really no reason she needs to be in here. Too bad she's trapped under all that rubble. Should have gone to the spa instead, eh LP?

>The last room before the roof was a two-level executive bar and lounge. That was where they had their equipment set up. The good news was that our infiltration sped up their evacuation. They were no longer trying to pull out all their equipment, just their personnel. They would let the Raptor’s massive guns take care of the rest.
How does she know this? Isn't she still trapped under a bunch of ceiling rubble?

>The bad news was that the room would be a killing zone. All the soldiers left in the building were either on the roof or inside that lounge.
>I made sure Little Macintosh was loaded with armor-piercing bullets. Calamity had bought up all the ammo for Litte Macintosh that Ditzy Doo had, but already I was almost out of armor piercing rounds again. Part of me hated the Enclave for using magical energy weapons; their ammo crates never had anything I could use.
>I nodded to my two companions. “Here. We. Go!”
She is still trapped under ceiling rubble...right? I mean, kkat wouldn't just end a scene with his characters in some kind of dangerous situation, and then start a new scene with them in a completely different situation, and not bother to explain how they managed to extricate themselves from the dangerous situation he left them in...right? I mean, that would just be shitty writing, and kkat's too much of a consummate professional for that...right?

>I telekinetically threw the doors open, my targeting spell locking on to each soldier as I saw them. An Enclave maneframe dominated the room.
Nope; unless she's doing all of this while trapped underneath a pile of rubble, it seems that once again kkat has magically teleported his characters from the middle of one scene to the middle of a new one.

For clarity, here is how the last scene ended (important parts bolded for emphasis):

>Maybe not my brightest idea, I realized as the explosion not only killed the pegasus above us, but sent the ceiling crashing down on our heads. My magic imploded as the room above fell on me. Something heavy and searingly hot shoved me to the floor. Pain sprouted from my hindlegs.
>I was pinned underneath jagged floorboards and the melted remains of a filing cabinet.
>Kage had taken cover in the doorway. I had lost track of Xenith. Fortunately, I was still invisible as the trooper across from us started filling our room with magical energy. The debris was ablative cover at best.
>I whipped my head around, desperately looking for where Little Macintosh had fallen.
>The spray of rainbow light stopped as the trooper reloaded. My revolver dropped to the floor next to me, a gift from an invisible zebra. I magically snatched it up and locked my targeting spell onto the pegasus again.

Here is how the next scene begins:

>“Section Twelve clear!” the pegasus barked through my earbloom. “Cauterizing in ten minutes.”
>With the Thunderheads in play, this place had become redundant. The Enclave had already been clearing out when we arrived. The Raptor above hadn’t been here for protection.
>We had seven minutes before the Raptor opened fire, eradicating Horseshoe Tower.
>“Section Thirteen clear!” another voice replied.
>My StealthBuck was drained. But we were almost at the end.
>The last room before the roof was a two-level executive bar and lounge. That was where they had their equipment set up. The good news was that our infiltration sped up their evacuation. They were no longer trying to pull out all their equipment, just their personnel. They would let the Raptor’s massive guns take care of the rest.
“Section Fourteen clear!” the first voice responded. “Cauterizing in nine minutes.”
>The bad news was that the room would be a killing zone. All the soldiers left in the building were either on the roof or inside that lounge.
>I made sure Little Macintosh was loaded with armor-piercing bullets. Calamity had bought up all the ammo for Litte Macintosh that Ditzy Doo had, but already I was almost out of armor piercing rounds again. Part of me hated the Enclave for using magical energy weapons; their ammo crates never had anything I could use.
>I nodded to my two companions. “Here. We. Go!”

I know I've pointed this kind of thing out many times before, but kkat does this shit all the time and it drives me up the fucking wall. This guy has no idea how to begin and end a scene; he just plops you into the middle of an event, ends it abruptly, and then plops you into the middle of an entirely different event, usually without providing any points of reference for understanding what happened in between, and he does this over and over and over. If you took a DVD box set of a TV series, made a playlist out of random isolated chapters from random episodes, then randomized the playlist, the result would be a lot like kkat's writing style.

Anyway, whatever. LP kicks open the door to some room she's suddenly in for some reason, and starts shooting. She kills a bunch of the Enclave guys; BANG BANG BANG! But oh noes, one of them fires a missile at them! FWOOOOOSH, BOOOOOOM!!!1! Apparently we're back to massive explosions not causing any environmental damage, because the building still seems mostly intact.

>Xenith, goopy-hooved, charged across the ceiling.
Xenith can walk on the ceiling now? Has she done that before? If that's a thing she can do, it might have been helpful to establish it earlier.
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They all fight for awhile. Kage takes a magic-energy blast in the chest as he's charging an Enclave soldier, which appears to kill him. Apart from that, nothing noteworthy happens. The scene ends abruptly in the middle of the fight.

Page break. When the scene fades in, the party is once again in the middle of a fight. It's not clear if this is the same fight from the last scene, or a different fight entirely. In any case, LP has killed all of the foot soldiers, and is now training her gun on what appears to be an officer.

>I’d led Gawd’s son to his death. I didn’t know how I was going to break the news to his sister. I’d never be able to face Gawdyna again. But right now I didn’t blame myself. I blamed the Enclave.
Is the sister not here? Since both she and Kage said they planned to come along with LP on her next mission, I was assuming they were both present. As usual, kkat's random scene jumps combined with his autistic narration style makes it difficult to keep track of what exactly is going on and who is present in each scene. I've been working from the assumption that the group consisted of LP, Kage, Regina and Xenith this time, but it seems that Regina is absent for some reason.

>“Give me one reason not to shoot you,” I growled. “Make it good, because I really want to.”
>“Way Ah see it,” the pegasus said, smiling annoyingly, “Y’all c’n kill me, or y’all c’n win.”
Personally, I'd consider his atrocious accent reason enough to shoot him.

>“What do you mean?” I asked, leveling Little Macintosh at the Enclave officer’s face.
>“Well, Ah reckon y’all didn’t come all this way jus’ cuz ya like bein’ shot at,” the officer reasoned. “I’m guessin’ what ya came fer is in that maneframe. But now, ya only got ‘bout four minutes left t’ get yer tails outta this building, an’ yer down the only person ya had who coulda accessed it.”
Is that what they came for? The "maneframe?" I still hate that word.. I thought they were here because they wanted to disrupt the Enclave's communications tower, or something. I'm honestly starting to feel like my summary of this story might not even be reliable anymore, because I can't even keep track of what's going on half the time. This really is one of the most convoluted, absolutely ridiculous things I've ever read. If I miss something important or forget something important from before, by all means correct me.

Anyway, the pegasus officer turns out to be one of Calamity's brothers (his father is a high-ranking officer in the military, and most of his family has followed that career path; don't remember if I've mentioned that or not), and he offers them a deal: let him live, and he'll download whatever information is on the maneframe into LP's PipBuck. He also mentions that a bunch of Calamity's other brothers occupy other various important positions in the invasion, so presumably we'll be bumping into more of them. This guy's name is Windsheer, if anyone cares.

They have roughly four minutes to escape, but they waste most of that time by having a rather silly conversation about the internal affairs of Calamity's family. Then, Windsheer finishes downloading all of the Celestia rule 34, or whatever LP wanted, from the maneframe onto LP's PipBuck, and he flies off. Then, with one minute left on the clock, LP uses her goddamn Mary Sue levitation powers to lift both herself and Xenith out of the tower just before it explodes.

Page break. They are back at Tenpony Tower now. LP goes over the shit that Windsheer gave her from the maneframe, and learns the Enclave is focusing most of its firepower on taking out what they consider to be the two biggest threats. The first, unsurprisingly, is Red Eye; they have a couple of battleships en route to Fillydelphia, and they plan to pretty much bulldoze his entire operation. The second biggest threat, believe it or not, is Homage and her stupid radio show.

It actually makes more sense after she watches a video that explains it. You may or may not remember that earlier, Homage blew up one of the big-ass weather towers using some kind of bomb she somehow managed to make out of that weird outer-space plasma cannon that she has for God only knows what reason. The Enclave seems to have interpreted this to mean that Homage is in possession of advanced weaponry, and plans to blow up the rest of their towers as well. So, understandably, they are treating her as a major threat, and have sent the Wonderbolts after her. The Wonderbolts are apparently attending some kind of meeting or briefing or something that is due to end in roughly 6 hours, and after that, they have 32 hours to complete their assassination mission. It's not clear if they are still supposed to assassinate Littlepoop or not.

Anyway, once all of this is explained, LP and Xenith return to their hotel suite to break the news about Kage to Regina.

Page break. Predictably, Regina reacts to the news of her brother's death by vowing to get revenge on the Enclave, because clearly this was all their fault and not the fault of the annoying little dyke who dragged Kage off to the gallows on a completely pointless mission. Meanwhile, we learn a little more about Calamity's plan, and how Life Bloom's memory technology factors into it.

Apparently, Calamity wasn't having his memories erased; he was having them recorded. The plan is to abduct the Wonderbolts, hook them up to recollectors (you may or may not remember that "recollectors" are devices that allow non-unicorns to view memory orbs) and force them to sit and watch all of his memories. The idea is that this is supposed to make them see how great and wonderful and totally-not-deserving-of-death the good ponies of the surface are, but considering that they will basically be watching all of the fucked up shit Calamity has done since he teamed up with LP, it may end up having the opposite effect.
Do you like Kkat's sound effects?
On one hand it means Kkat can sometimes write bang bang bang instead of writing properly.
On the other hand it sounds incredibly juvenile for an author to drop his fancy author prose and start yelling "BANG BANG BANG! FWOOSH! WHOOSH! KABOOM! ZAP! POW!" as if he's Deadpool reading the comic sound effects out loud again.
What's next, is Kkat going to get halfway through the next batch of sound effects only to start dropping Betty Hutton lyrics on us? Bam pow zing zap wham bam Kkat will never be a ma'am.
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>Watching memories

Don't they take about as long to experience as the original moment? I would assume so since time seems to lurch forward a decent amount, and these scenes are implied to be experienced in their entirety. At least, as a reader they are written to us fully. Would Calamity then have to create a sort of smash cut or montage of top 10 wholesome moments of his life on the surface?

Would these moments even matter to the Enclave? They basically spent their entire life as hypernationalist soldiers. The civvies earlier seemed to be much more okay with dirty wasteland folk, but would members of an elite government killsquad be so easily swayed after a lifetime of indoctrination by showing them "see, some wastelanders aren't so bad!"? The vast majority of the wasteland is fucking horrible, barring a few pockets of friendly life. As far as "friendly" goes, the commoners aren't exactly saints in themselves, and have been hardened by a lifetime of survival and conflict
The sound effects in that post were actually mine. I was making fun of kkat's handling of action scenes more than his sound effects, although he does use "Bang!" a lot when guns are going off. I'm basically neutral to it as a writing technique; in a certain kind of story I think it works, and this is the kind of story it usually works in. However, it's not something you want to overuse.

I hadn't thought about the length of time it would take to view the memory orbs, but that's actually a very good point. Depending on how kkat ends up handling it it you might have found a legit continuity error. As to the stuff about the wasteland being horrible, that had occurred to me as well.

What's odd about this latest storyline is that kkat has dedicated most of the book to presenting the wasteland as this awful place, populated by monsters and these cornball raiders who dress up in Mad Max armor and run around committing comically sadistic acts for basically no reason. One of the latest "plot twists" involved Velvet temporarily leaving the group because she had finally become convinced that the ponies of the wasteland weren't worth saving. Yet...Calamity now intends to convince the Enclave not to follow through with their attack by showing them these very same ponies, in order to convince him that the wasteland isn't so bad after all.

Another thing is that the Enclave is being presented as this goofy military bureaucracy that just suddenly decided to invade the wasteland because reasons, and everything that's happening is somehow the fault of these war-hawk Senators and whatnot, because something-something-America-Iraq. The implication seems to be that the civilians of Pegasus-Land kkat still has not provided us with a name for the non-Enclave portion of the pegasus nation are just decent ponies who have been fed propaganda about how the surface ponies want to kill them, but if they are allowed to meet them and interact with them on their own, they will realize that they aren't so bad.

The problem with this is, as you've pointed out, kkat himself has gone pretty far out of his way to establish that the wasteland ponies actually are pretty bad; in fact he's stretched plausibility with how bad they are to such a degree that it's basically comedy. Meanwhile, these pegasi have presumably lived their lives in peace and relative security. They're the closest thing to a functioning nation state that seems to exist in Edgequestria, they have agriculture so food shortages probably aren't much of a thing, and they don't have to worry about the day to day survival issues that plague the surface ponies.

What's ironic is that you can actually take kkat's hamfisted Iraq war analogy and push it even further here. The wasteland is probably comparable to a place like Iraq in that its residents are accustomed to a harsher standard of living than the pegasi, who have led mostly sheltered lives. The naivety of the pegasi probably would lead them to be more initially accepting of the wastelanders, especially when they realized that the propaganda they'd been told about them was clearly exaggerated or inaccurate. However, after some of them venture out into the wasteland to try and make friends, they would learn some very hard lessons very quickly, and would probably come to see that however distorted the Enclave propaganda might be, there's actually a nugget of truth buried inside it. This is assuming they even survived long enough to learn a lesson My guess is that if enough pegasi keep wandering out into the wasteland and end up having to fight their own children to the death in a cage match, the remainder would probably return to the sky and reseal the cloud cover of their own volition.
Why do you think the story's love of spelling out sound effects helps this story?

Also I think the author shot himself in the foot by trying to make the Edgequestrian wasteland so much edgier than fallout 3's wasteland. the result is a cartoonish shithole few would want to save. This is a world where survivalists rig baby strollers with bombs hoping to kill random travellers and take their loot. This is a world where there is something or someone that needs killing around every corner and inside damn near every building. This is a world where stumbling upon a random building will involve you in some bullshit dungeon full of enemies to shoot and maybe some NPCs to save and probably some memory orbs/lore diaries/terminal entries to give this session of bloodshed the illusion of a story with a beginning and middle and end.

Once I saw a naruto fic that made the Bloody Mist Village deep and likeable, a shithole of a nation in poverty full of good people struggling to survive while helping their friends. Everyone pulls together and has pot lucks every week even though times are tough. The bloody mist military might be cunts but the civilians are good, and the author had to say this or else nobody would root for the heroic OC's desire to improve things for "The Bloody Mist". Is any reader actually rooting for Edgequestria's ponies right now when so much of Operation Cauterize is an accelerated version of what LP or a settlement she's protecting would eventually have to do to the Raiders here and there upon growing enough and wanting nearby raiders gone?

I think Kkat should have tried harder to include more scenes where ponies are fundamentally good, especially to other fundamentally good ponies. Tried harder to include more scenes where violence is the imperfect easy way out and the harder method of talking things out is the better one. Tried harder to say the bad ponies are not the type to rape and decorate houses with gore for fun, but instead they are forced into their evil deeds by the Raider Gangs they joined or were born into or kidnapped and PressGanged into. Say the Raider gangs do edgy shit to intimidate other raider gangs into not attacking and nearby settlements into paying tribute because these Raiders hate combat and violence but only know violence because they never learned useful survival skills yet still want to provide protection for payment for any pony who could be a customer of theirs. Maybe LP should be hunted constantly by a stereotypical edgy "evil Bounty Hunter" character like that guy from the Spongebob movie only darker and edgier. DJ Lesbianigger could say "he used to be a hero but then he lost his virtue. He is a bad guy now so kill him!" but then LP investigates and it turns out this edgy bounty hunter started taking high-paying morally-questionable jobs because his baby daughter is dying from tubercolonsis and the only cure for potato AIDS or whatever wacky cartoon ponyland virus she catches is a hyper expensive medical treatment. Littlepip gets Velvet to save the day with her medical skills and this turns edgy bounty hunter guy into LP's new best friend and obligatory 11th hour party member. Bonus points if LP has to go and beg Velvet to help after Velvet says "you are too violent fuck you I quit" and this convinces Vulvat to return to team LP and admire LP for making a nice choice.

Kkat's Edgequestria is a shooting gallery full of monsters to kill and some look like ponies and dress like bandits or Raiders or slavers. Nopony on team LP blinked when Steelhooves risked their right to remain in the tower (and LP's right to see and shag her girlfriend without forcing her to leave her ivory radio tower) by killing the chief of security for the non-crime of killing evil invasive ghouls even though Steelhooves could have also helped Monterry Jack escape while LP was going through Instant Therapy to cure her crack mint addiction. What moments of goodwill have the ponies of the Wasteland shown to LP or Velvet or Steelhooves or Calamity? Calamity's desire to involve himself and his squad in a battle on the ground that didn't concern him didn't come after some ground pony showed kindness and affection towards him. He just felt like "playing the hero" even though his whole life, he was raised to think a hero is a patriot who kills for the state, not some twat who feels like forcing himself and others into the businesses of others.
So first true foray into mlp fanfiction way back when addicted to reading schlock just for the hell of it.
Without actually seeing the show.
At the time the fever dream like anti-understanding seemed to behold a new frontier of possibility.
The described reality was floaty for me at the time.
Fimfic recommendation: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/755/on-a-cross-and-arrow

One of the most popular fanfics in the early days of the fandom, though swiftly forgotten.
80k words of a fanfic where Twilight Sparkle and friends go to the Rule63 dimension where they're all dudes.
This fanfic concept is kind of gay but seeing it disected in these threads would be interesting.
Isn't it weird that Team LP want to "redeem" the Enclave with their wacky plans for either forcing their killsquad to see Calamity's nicest memories or taking away the race's ability to provide food for itself? When it came to RaidersTM and SlaversTM and BanditsTM and AlicornsTM and Red Eye's people and some random doctor experimenting on random poners, she wants to gun them down harder than she guns down mutated wildlife. But these guys, the ones well-fed and well-trained and raised in relative comfort for over 200 years with a liberal's idea of military propaganda forced into their brains their whole lives, these are the fuckers LP and Kkat want to "redeem" with big absurd plans that will likely require countless Enclave deaths along the way.
It seems weird to me because if this fic was made today I'm sure the Enclave would be presented in a worse light than the Raiders who decorate their homes with gore and rape for fun and make kids Death Battle for fun. Hell, maybe the barbarity and harshness and cruelty of the Wasteland's inhabitants would be blamed on 200 years of Enclave power-armoured professional-cunt soldiers taking potshots at middle eastern children- I mean Edgequestrian Wasteland poners.
Think about what a bizarre race fantasy this Enclave is in its current state. When war with Ziggers was killing Equestrians, almost all Pegasi decided to fuck off into the sky. Not just all the ponies in one town. Not just all the ponies in one city-state. Almost all Pegasi fucked off and abandoned Equestria for their own Enclave. When the world needed Pegasi most, they vanished. How useful would Pegasus rescue teams be when everypony's trying to get into their Stables? If only Rainbow Dash can fly faster than sound and everyone else sucks balls only she would be useful in Hurricane Fluttershy.
The Pegasus race practically betrayed Equestria, except some betrayed the enclave over the years to become "dashites". Rainbow Dash barely inspired anypony to rebel.
And because LP wants the Pegasi back, she's going to try and "fix" them. LP wants them economically dominated once she siezes the weather towers and the means of food production, Calamity wants to show them his top 10 wholesome moments videos with MLG gamer editing, Steelhooves is fucking dead, and Velvet... Well, despite what the war with Ziggers taught her about the futility of healing and arming the enemy, Arcade Ganon from FNV spent the game's final battle healing people far away from the main battle in one optional route so it wouldn't surprise me if Velvet abandoned her closest friends and "Equestria's best hope at survival" to be one of many medics trying to heal poners during the final battle. Maybe she'll even heal enemy poners, hoping to show them ground poners "aren't so bad".
But because this fic was made in the early 2010s, the liberal fantasy isn't for everyone they deem right-wing to be tortured in Room 1984 just yet. For tranny degenerates like Kkat who only joined the left because they enable and normalize his crossdressing fetish, the liberal fantasy of the time is for the "inherent obvious goodness" of liberal ideas to effortlessly cure a lifetime of "militaristic right wing indoctrination" as whites who hate niggers and civilized people who hate the uncivilized actually meet niggers for the first time and love them and realize their govt lied to them.
Ironic, considering exposure to uncivilized niggers naturally makes whites hate niggers. The left had absolute control of academia, courts, hollywood, the biggest companies, and most governments for decades, maybe even centuries. They're the ones propagandizing people about what whites and niggers are like with their stupid fucking black-white buddy cop films.

Damn, it'd be funny if Kkat used "Calamity shows the Wonderbolts his memories" as an excuse to do a clip show episode where random scenes from older episodes are repeated to artificially inflate the story's word count. Especially if the Wonderbolts could also get him to show the memories they wanted to see like memories of enemies Calamity faced.

If Calamity accidentally showed them the memory of that time in the rock-breaking prison when he leapt for cover under a cum stained blanket to hide from foes that had already spotted him and it fucking worked I don't think they'd ever stop laughing.
>Why do you think the story's love of spelling out sound effects helps this story?
I don't necessarily; as I said, I'm basically neutral and consider it a non-issue. This particular story doesn't overuse them or use them inappropriately, so I have no strong feelings on the subject.

Sounds interesting, I can take a look.
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It looks as if the issue that >>313520 brought up occurred to kkat as well:

>The problem was, it takes as long to experience the memories in a black opal as it took for the person to live them. And Calamity wanted to feed several days’ worth of memories into the Wonderbolts. Keeping them safe and hydrated was a big enough concern, but if we didn’t have enough recollectors to trap them all at the same time…

It is immediately addressed in the next paragraph, however:

>“Fortunately, I have a better way,” Life Bloom claimed. “There’s a memory spell, one created by Twilight Sparkle herself, which will allow me to cram all those memories into their heads in minutes. It won’t be pleasant…” The white unicorn shook his head. “But it will work.”
Welp, that answers that. Magic solves everything.

The next few lines of dialog are a little difficult to follow, but from what I gather the plan is for Life Bloom to tag along with the group so he can administer whatever spell he needs to perform in order to cram Calamity's memories into the Wonderbolts' minds. I was initially under the impression that the plan was to kidnap the Wonderbolts and bring them back to the tower, but apparently they're doing it this way.

With that matter settled, they now need to plot their next move. As usual kkat's reasoning is autistic and impossible to follow, but as far as I can tell they intend to lure the Wonderbolts into a fight so they can subdue them and have Light Bright brainwash them. For some insane reason, they decide that the best place to do this would be the Everfree Forest, because the Wonderbolts can't fly in there. Or something. I guess. Last I heard that place was still on fire, but whatever. On to the Everfree Forest.

Page break. The next morning, they set out for the Everfree. Xenith is opposed to going there, not because it's on fire, but because of something she read in a book recently. The book in question is some kind of ancient leatherbound volume that her daughter had; apparently it once belonged to Zecora or something. It describes how a meteor fell into the middle of the Everfree Forest; apparently, this is the same meteor that came up earlier in the Midnight Shower chapter, the one that Nightmare Moon's armor was made from. The long and short of it is that the meteor contained some kind of spooky space evil that took root in the Everfree and was kept at bay by the Elements of Harmony. Then, the Elements were removed. Then, the world blew up, and now the forest is even more evil than it was before. I guess. It's pretty vague, and I'm not sure how much of this is meant to be taken as gospel and how much of it is just Xenith's screwy zebra religion anyway.

Page break. They pass over the town of Hope, and LP tells everyone that if they get separated during whatever the fuck they are planning to do in the Everfree, the plan is to meet up back at the haunted farm that was mentioned before (it was earlier in the chapter; Railright brought it up because there's some kind of special item hidden there or something).

>I had stopped staring out the window. I didn’t really want to see the distance between us and the forest being eaten away. Looking in my companion’s eyes, I could see everyone was feeling the same thing I was. A sense of wrongness and inexplicable dread, like our skin was too tight. I’d started feeling it the minute I started to smell the smoke.
>This was a bad plan.
This is one of LP's few incisive observations. Why exactly are they going into this burning forest again? I still don't entirely understand; most likely kkat simply had an Everfree Forest arc planned and this is the best reason he could think up to get them in there.

Anyway, the completely pointless side conversation about where to meet up if they get separated is followed by this completely pointless observation about their completely pointless plan, and after that there's some completely pointless sex banter thrown in for no reason. After that, they pass over the Hope solar array (basically a bunch of solar panels that the town of Hope has; I forget what the significance of them is), and then Calamity announces that they are approaching the forest.

This entire microscene was even more pointless than usual and could be chopped at no loss.

Page break. As they near the Everfree, the Wonderbolts suddenly appear somewhere behind them. They seem to be intentionally corralling them into the burning forest, which further emphasizes that this is a really, really dumb plan. They pass over that farm that LP wants to meet up at if they get separated, and she notices some kind of Enclave antenna array similar to the one that was on the roof at that building in Old Olneigh from a few chapters ago. This alarms her for some reason, but the text doesn't bother to explain why.

>The miles between us and the Wonderbolts closed rapidly as more of the forest shot past beneath us. I could see the orange of flames burning across the ground between the trees and along the shores of a river turned grey with ash.
>What the hell? Something was seriously wrong with this picture.
I can tell you exactly what's wrong with this picture. If you've ever been anywhere in the vicinity of a forest fire, you'd know that they are fucking huge and release so much smoke into the air that the surrounding area becomes uninhabitable for miles. You can't get anywhere near a forest fire just traveling normally, let alone fly directly over one in a low-flying vehicle. Even if you ignore the fact that they should all be dead from smoke inhalation by now, the heat from the fire should be roasting them alive. However, since forest fires probably don't occur that often in kkat's mother's basement, I'm assuming he probably wouldn't know any of this.

Anyway, next the Wonderbolts shoot their bus down, and they land smack dab in the middle of the Everfree Forest, which I will again remind you is on fucking fire.
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LP lands in the middle of a burning forest, and naturally her first thought is to feel sad that their bus was destroyed:

>Scattered around us were burning hunks of twisted metal -- the remains of the Sky Bandit. Seeing them drove a pang through my heart. Like we had lost a dear pet or treasured heirloom.
Yeah, it's almost as sad as that time SteelHooves died. Remember that time when he fell off of the roof of the Sky Bandit and went plummeting to his presumed death, and was lost for like three days and nobody noticed that he was gone, but then he got decapitated a few days later and you all acted like it was the saddest thing you'd ever experienced? Yeah, good times.

>I stumbled forward, my legs threatening to give out. My side protesting my every step. Just my luck that we had two healers with us now, and neither of them was with me. I just couldn’t win.
Yeah, she's got it rough. Imagine you live in a world where where virtually any wound except decapitation, apparently can be cured with magic elixirs that are just lying around waiting to be picked up, and on top of that you've basically become an immortal demigod whose severed limbs will just naturally grow back because of radiation or something. Then, imagine that your two healer friends happen to be a few feet away from you and you're going to have to wait like ten whole minutes to have all of the injuries you sustained while falling out of an exploding bus into the middle of a forest fire completely healed

God, doesn't Littlepoop just have the worst luck? Clearly, the Equestrian Wasteland just has it in for her.

>Xenith helped guide me forward, pushing through the foliage. The heat was oppressive. The smoke choked my lungs. But the fire hadn’t made it to this height yet. I was again struck by the sense that something was seriously amiss.
Again, what's amiss here is mostly just that kkat has no idea how fires are supposed to work.

Anyway, LP keeps walking and eventually bumps directly into Velvet Remedy's ass. This knocks her over, and she notices a stone bunny on the ground between her legs. Then, she looks up and sees that they have arrived at a huge weeping willow tree that, much like the rest of the area around them, is mysteriously unaffected by the gigantic fucking forest fire. The text hints that there is some connection between the tree and Fluttershy, though I'm not sure what exactly it is yet. The chapter ends abruptly.

Chapter Forty Two: Into Fire and Darkness

Today's Fortune Cookie:

>“Stay out!! The plants kill!”
"Stay out, you idiot, the goddamn forest is on fire" would have been equally good advice here.

For I think the second or third time in the entire book, the new chapter resumes where the previous chapter left off. Velvet is transfixed by this weird tree.

This scene is extremely bizarre, and I don't quite understand what's going on, but the implication seems to be that the tree actually is Fluttershy. Fluttershy becoming a tree must have been some kind of early fandom meme, because I've seen this joke being made elsewhere. If I remember correctly, there's some line of dialog in one of the early episodes where Flutters says something about becoming a tree, or being a tree, or something to that effect, but I don't remember the specifics.

>Xenith, crouching low, her belly against the grass, crept up to the stone bunny. She reached out a tentative hoof and touched it, her hoof pulling back instantly as if she had reached out to touch molten lava. The fierce stone bunny statue remained a fierce stone bunny statue.
Oh yeah, zebras are supposed to be afraid of "Doombunny." Presumably, this stone bunny is meant to be Angel, which Xenith just instinctively realizes. Obviously, the possibility that it's just some random rabbit who ran afoul of a cockatrice is just way too farfetched.

I am a bit confused, though, as I thought that Angel Bunny had been mutated into some kind of huge, terrifying creature, who was also a meth cook or something I guess. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, but I thought I remembered Xenith telling Littlepoop something to that effect. If not, then I don't understand where the "Doombunny" moniker came from. The idea of the entire zebra tribe being terrified of a little bunny is amusing in that sort of Jim-Davis-Garrison-Keillor-force-yourself-to-laugh kind of way, but if there's no actual reason for them to be terrified it doesn't make much sense.

>I brought up my Eyes-Forward Sparkle. It flashed a notice at me: new transmission detected. My eyes fell to the compass, which was glowing entirely red. It was as if the entire forest was hostile.
Apparently Littlepoop's PipBuck can tell that fire is dangerous, which seems to be more than its owner can do.

>The wind picked up. The rustling through the leaves was a haunting sound. It made the weeping willow sound like it was sobbing.
>“How… how can this… be you?” Velvet asked, her voice almost childlike now.
>Xenith stood up, approaching the fallen bunny statue. With a strangely sad look on her face, she leaned her head down and picked it up in her teeth, setting it back upright. “Doombunny,” she said finally. “Turned to stone by a cockatrice. A worthy end for a worthy opponent.”
It's worth emphasizing that there is really no reason for either of these assumptions to be made. We don't actually know what happened to Fluttershy or Angel; all we know is that Rarity teleported them to the Everfree Forest. Both rabbits and cockatrices are probably common enough in the forest, and Xenith wouldn't know "Doombunny" on sight; this could be pretty much any rabbit as far as she's concerned.

As for Velvet, there's no reason whatsoever for her to just see this tree and assume that it's Fluttershy; that doesn't even kind of make sense. Dropping references to the show or its memes is fine, but you can't sacrifice plausibility just to make a stupid joke. If the "Fluttershy is a tree" meme didn't exist, how much sense would this scene make?
fluttershy tree fluttershy tree https://youtu.be/y1V7utCUmS8
thanos car thanos car fluttershy tree fluttershy tree

Also, don't you just hate when Kkat uses what he remembers from videogames to fill in the blanks whenever his knowledge of the outside world (which has more holes than ripped stockings) fails him?
>Sonic wasn't hurt when Eggman carpet-bombed much of Angel Island and set its forests on fire, so fire is clearly just a cosmetic aesthetic unless someone's spitting it from a unicorn horn or flamethrower or dragon. Then it's dangerous.
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Anyway, the maybe-Fluttershy tree is sentient or evil or something, and it attacks Velvet and tries to tentacle-rape her. Xenith pushes her away and gets mangled by it.

>I had no time to think. I acted instinctively, in desperation drawing on the darkest strings of power. Xenith’s blood pulled itself from the grass, dripping upwards, swirling. If I could form a blade, I could form a cast. I spun the blood about her, hardening it into a full-body cast, leaving only her flayed muzzle exposed so that she could breathe.
Looks like we have a new frontrunner for the coveted "Most Implausible Use of Bullshit Mary Sue Magic in All of Fallout: Equestria" award. Seriously; it takes a special kind of autism to even think crap like this up in the first place, let alone to have the temerity to actually write it down.

Anyway, thanks to Xenith we learn that the tree is made out of something called "killing joke." LP has one of her flashbacks where she remembers some random line of dialog that appeared in the story 30 chapters ago and has basically fuck-all to do with anything. This time, she remembers that Homage said something about some friend she had running afoul of something called "killing joke" eons ago. Now, LP is face to face with that very thing, and can connect the name to the particular wasteland monster it is associated with. Glad we got that all sorted out.

However, I hope you haven't had your fill of obscure references to random snippets of dialog from 30 chapters ago, because it turns out there's more:

>Xenith had seen the threat and understood it. Sometimes, I feel as if I am an earth pony and that my stripes are really great wounds.
Yeah, that was a memorable line all right. I totally remember exactly where and when she said that. Don't even bother placing it in context, kkat; you can just dump this line in here and I'm sure everyone will immediately just connect it to whatever you're thinking.

>The plant had somehow taken some random thing Xenith had said and turned it against her. Suddenly, I understood the plant’s name. It was a joke -- a sick, twisted, malevolent joke. The Everfree Forest was home to a mobile, aggressive, sadistic plant filled with transformation magic.
I'm not sure I get this, honestly. Is this saying that the tree can somehow read Xenith's mind? That it plucked this random observation she made about herself eons ago and made it literally happen? Kind of interesting I guess, but it would help if it were a little clearer how it worked.

Anyway, they fight the killing-joke-tree for awhile, and then they get away from it. Xenith, I guess, is still flayed and wrapped up in a body cast made out of her own blood; not sure if they're supposed to be carrying her or if she's walking or what. Also unclear is whether or not LP needs to concentrate in order to maintain this blood-cast; it stands to reason that she would. As usual, kkat's explanation of things is rather spotty.

>And Fluttershy (for I was now convinced that the butter-yellow weeping willow was indeed the Mare of the Ministry of Peace) was its lure. And, more hellishly, its victim. Did Fluttershy ever say something about being tree-like? Or maybe joked about having a bark worse than her bite? Fuck, maybe she just said she wanted to leave.
Once again, I must protest that there is no reason for them to know this, and it's not insinuated strongly enough that any of the characters should automatically guess. Once again, Littlepoop is using her Mary Sue powers of divination to make connections that don't necessarily connect.

Even assuming divination powers, it's not at all clear what is supposed to have happened. Fluttershy somehow became fused with poison joke and became some kind of tentacle rape monster, and this happened because at some random point decades in the past she made some random offhand comment about being a tree? Is that what I'm supposed to take away from this? Or is the killing joke a separate entity from the tree? As usual, none of this makes a lick of sense.

Anyway, they manage to get away from the killing joke I guess, but then the Wonderbolts show up.

>The smoke was like tiny daggers in my eyes. Life Bloom coughed again, a bad rattle in his throat. We couldn’t keep running much longer, and we couldn’t outrun the Wonderbolts anyway. But the idea of fighting them in this accursed forest seemed more insane every minute.
I'm still not clear on why they even thought that luring the Wonderbolts into a burning forest full of giant mutated plants was a good idea in the first place.

>The Wonderbolts were being forced low by the smoke, flying at tree-top level.
Why would the smoke force them low? It's not like it matters since the heat from the fire should logically roast them alive in those stupid armored Gundam suits anyway, but if anything the smoke and the fire should be forcing them upward and away from it, not downward and towards it.

>They could trace my tag, but that wouldn’t help them track any of the rest of us. And even their armors’ targeting spells were virtually worthless in the Everfree Forest. At any distance, my companions just melted into the sea of red lights that was our entire damn environment.
Was this supposed to be the plan? Lure the Wonderbolts in here because their targeting systems won't work, because the entire forest is one giant enemy? That...kind of makes sense I suppose, but by the same logic, Littlepoop's targeting system shouldn't work either. However, the Wonderbolts still have the rest of their weapons and combat training, while Littlepoop is basically crippled if she can't use her magic spell that aims her gun for her. Plus, the forest would be as dangerous for the party as it is for the Wonderbolts; more so even, since the party is on the ground, while the Wonderbolts can just fly away if things get too hairy. I must once again protest that the party really did not think this one through.

Some kind of unidentified bat-like creature emerges from the forest and attacks the Wonderbolts.

>One of them flew right at one of the Wonderbolts. Like it was playing chicken. The elite Enclave flyer didn’t flinch, didn’t veer off. Neither did the creature. But at the last moment, instead of the two colliding, the thunder cloud contrail stopped, the Wonderbolt falling out of the sky as the creature flew past. Turned to stone.
Well, on the bright side that's one less Wonderbolt you have to kidnap and stuff full of Calamity's memories.

Anyway, LP identifies the bat-things as cockatrices. It's not clear where she would have picked up this term or how she could identify this type of creature, but we can put a pin in that for now. There's kind of a free-for-all in which everyone is fighting everyone for awhile, and then Velvet tearfully asks that they go back and save Fluttershy from being a tree, despite the fact that they have considerably more important shit going on right now and despite the fact that there is still no reason why they should even be aware that the tree is, in fact, Fluttershy.

Suddenly, a couple of hellhounds burst out of the ground and start attacking them. The fight rages on a bit longer, and then, using some process of autismo reasoning that would only make sense in kkat-land, LP suddenly figures out that there are also landmines buried in the forest for some reason.

Quite a bit more confusing shit happens; at this point the action is damn near impossible to follow. Finally, though, the group seems to have realized that coming into this forest was probably the dumbest thing they have ever done (and that's saying a lot), so they decide to leave. However, before they can, Calamity gets shot down by one of the Wonderbolts. In a hilarious double-blow to Velvet Remedy's already taxed emotions, her pet bird gets turned to stone by one of the cockatrices a fraction of a second later.

While all of this is going on, the killing joke is apparently still a factor. At one point it seizes hold of one of the hellhounds and turns it into a pony, which causes the other two hellhounds to attack it. Instead of just letting these three enemies take each other out, LP decides to intervene with her telekinesis and saves the "pony," and the hellhounds crash into each other but are otherwise harmed. The "pony" goes scampering off into the (burning) woods.

Anyway, blah blah blah. The Wonderbolts apparently decide that the fight is a little too intense for them, so they retreat for the time being. Meanwhile, Velvet captures the cockatrice that turned her bird to stone and forces it to reverse the spell. Also, Calamity is a little banged up but is basically fine.

>The heat was draining our strength almost as much as the fighting. The smoke was burning my eyes and throat, making it hard to breathe. Our struggle against the Wonderbolts had become a three-way battle, and the Everfree Forest was winning.
Literally anyone with half an iota of common sense could have predicted this outcome before even coming in here. I'll ask again: what was the point of this excursion supposed to be?

Anyway, they decide, finally, that they should probably get out of this stupid burning murder-forest. However, their stupid bus has been blown to smithereens and the guy that normally pulls it for them is too badly injured to pull it anyway. So, they have to walk.

Page break. They appear to have more or less escaped danger for the time being, but Velvet won't shut up about the stupid Fluttershy tree.

>“They trapped her up there, h-high on the h-h-hill where she could see what happened to her Equestria. As it was p-poisoned, and destroyed…” Her tear-filled eyes stared into mine. “Pip, they made her watch!”
You don't know any of this. The only reason you have to assume that the tree is even Fluttershy is its coloring. For all you know, Fluttershy got tentacle-raped by a beanstalk, and that tree is their unholy offspring.

Anyway, Velvet still wants to go back and save Fluttershy, but LP is skeptical that there would be anything they could do for her. Meanwhile, Calamity is still injured and Xenith is in a coma. There's a bit of dreary conversation about how dreary everything is, and Reggie eventually interjects that her brother Kage had wanted to go to the Whitetail Woods. Since this is a name we haven't heard before and the author goes out of his way to infodump about it, I'm assuming this is going to be the setting of yet another tedious side-quest that we will be subjected to in the near future. Apparently it's the "most poisoned place on earth."

While chopping up the body of a dead hellhound sacrebleu! le edge!, Littlepoop observes a weird noise coming out of the helmet the creature was wearing. From this, she deduces that the Enclave is using sound waves to make the hellhounds do their bidding.

To kkat's credit, I think I actually see his logic for once. Earlier, LP noticed some kind of Enclave radio dish similar to the one they'd seen at Old Olneigh. Now that the bit about sound signals has jogged my memory, I think I do remember something about the radio dish at Olneigh being used to control the hellhounds or something. So, technically, kkat did this right. The earlier scene establishes that the Enclave can direct the hellhounds this way or that using sounds, and the dish they passed on the way here foreshadows that this technique might be used here. The trouble is that the reference is too vague; Old Olneigh was eons ago, and a lot of shit has happened between then and now.

Protip: you don't need to completely spoonfeed the reader, but it's a good idea to make sure they're at least on the same page as you. You don't want to just scatter breadcrumbs and expect the reader to put all the pieces together; outside of a mystery story, it's really a really obnoxious thing to do.
Wait, why are they forced to the ground? Take a good look at this Enclave(tm) Advanced Power Armor helmet from Fallout 3 (presumably what their armor is based upon) and tell me what you see around the mouth.

Power armor suits are completely sealed off and have an internal regulalation system. In-game they give you a rad resistance bonus.

Wait, during that encounter with Spike, where he roasted that mare alive... Did she remove her mask, or are Enclave helmets just open and completely unarmored in the mouth area? That's fucking retarded if so, but at least it explains the smoke inhalation issue that forced them to land.
To add to this, the Enclave have a cartoonish fear of the surface and believe it to be toxic in general, right? So why is their armor, made for excursions on the surface (we haven't heard of inter-pegasus wars), unarmored around the mouth with no rebreather system?
If the Enclave believe the surface to be poisonous, wouldn't it have made more sense for LP to lead them to some kind of special oasis zone without radiation? Nothing like that really exists in FE besides the Stables that weren't horrific pointless edgy experiments though.

Then again LP was taught her OP telekinesis by Crane from Old Appleoosa. She was OP before and after the training but presumably he has OP telekinesis too since he was able to help her. Why doesn't LP bait the wonderbolts near him so he can telekinetically grab the Sneedclave Wonderbolts and hold them down while the memory spell happens?